Nigerian adult | Zikoko!

You’re a Proper Nigerian Adult Because These 11 Things Are Keeping You Sane

All we wanted as kids were extra pieces of meat. But we went and grew up, and now, if we’re not dealing with the ever-increasing prices of foodstuff, it’s the national grid collapsing every other Eke market day. How do we stay sane in the insanity? As a Nigerian, these are the eleven things that are keeping you from losing your shit.

1. Juice boxes

As a Nigerian adult, juice is the only reminder we have of the good days. Those were the easiest times when all that mattered was your 2go username. Some of us can’t survive if Capri Sonne or Ribena shrinks any further in size.

2. Coffee

It’s either as black as the hearts of people drinking it or you drink it with bougie things like almond and oat milk. Whatever you choose, we’re all getting through the day with the closest thing to legal hard drugs: caffeine.

3. TikTok

Millennials and baby boomers discovered they could clap and move to the left and to the right; now they won’t let the app rest. TikTok is the only thing bringing joy into their lives so we have to endure them.

4. Alcohol

It starts with telling yourself sweet wine is basically juice. Next thing, you find yourself recommending your best brand of alcohol to your colleagues and friends.

5. Friends

Take away the two or three people you know, and it’s over for you in this life. Better cherish the ones you have.

6. Cartoons

You may deny it, but Cocomelon is the only thing keeping you sane. The older you get, the more you cling to the past.

RELATED: Nigerians, Here’s What Your Favourite Adult Cartoon Says About You

7. Owambes and cruise

If you take away party jollof, asoebi and small chops, some people can die. For the rest of us happening babes, it’s life jackets for weekly boat cruises.

8. Inanimate objects

Once you clock 24, it’s fascinating how receiving free curtains and chairs can brighten up your day. As long as it’s useful for an apartment or car and it makes you smile, you’re getting old, my dear.

9. Food

Especially free food. Need I say more? The only thing Nigeria has in abundance is good food. Amala and gbegiri is lowkey the only reason some of us wake up in this country.

RELATED: 8 Things That Taste Better When They’re Free

10. Sex

Now that electricity is playing hide-and-seek, I don’t know how you people are doing it sha. Kindly share your tips.

11. Lies

As adults, our sanity is assured by the lies we tell. They may come back to bite us, but no one can take away the five seconds of peace we enjoyed before the storm.

ALSO READ: 10 Zikoko Articles That’ll Help You Properly Navigate Adulthood

Ortega

March 24, 2022

Inside Life

funny nigerians, Nigerian adult
These Christian Songs Are Nostalgic for Every Nigerian Christian Adult

If you grew up in a Christian household, we’re certain you heard these songs more times than you cared to. These songs were an essential part of your Sunday morning worship sessions or Saturday morning cleaning rituals.

1. Igwe – Midnight Crew

We’re sure you danced to this song during choreography sef.

2. Chinwe Ike – Resonance

This song was so fresh and different when it was released. A bop.

https://youtu.be/XvNEiIJ8S3Y

3. Every album Tope Alabi ever released

If you had a Yoruba mum, we’re sure you listened to Tope Alabi songs all the time. Even if you don’t remember all her songs, you definitely know this one.

4. Every Sola Allyson album ever released

Ife Bi Eji Owuro isn’t particularly a “Christian” song, but it still counts.

5. Gbanari ikpe chukwu – Bro Israel Anyanele

6. Trading my sorrows – Women Of Faith

Did you really grow up in a Christian household if you didn’t trade your sorrows? If you dig deep into your brain, we’re sure you can still remember the choreography you did to this song. “Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes, Lord”

7. Shackles – Mary Mary

Between children’s church teachers and primary school music teachers, we don’t know who was more determined to get those shackles off our feet so we could dance.

8. Every song Ayefele ever sang

“Many, many, many, people, listened to a lot of Ayefele songs. And you were one of them.

9. Nkem Ka Nma – Paul Nwokocha

10. Revolution – Kirk Franklin

You were a cool kid if this song is etched in your memory. You were already trying out “American version” Christianity.

Ibukun

February 27, 2022

Pop

christian songs, Christianity, gospel music, Nigerian adult
10 Zikoko Articles That’ll Help You Properly Navigate Adulthood

Navigating life as an adult can be really confusing. No one really gives you a handbook or prepares you for what life is going to throw at you. Here’s a list of articles you can read to help you figure out adulthood.

1. 7 Ways To Make Friends As An Adult

2. 8 Easy Ways To Escape Adulting

3. Adulting: 5 Nigerians On Things They Find Expensive As Adults

4. 8 Signs That Show You Might Be Adulting The Wrong Way

5. 7 Things Adults Need More Than Children

6. 6 Things To Find Comfort In When Adulthood Becomes Too Hard

7. These 5 Nigerian Songs Will Help You Figure Out Adulthood

8. 5 Wise Money Quotes About Money That Make Better Sense Now That You’re An Adult

9. 5 Things Nigerian Adults Really Need To Stop Doing

10. 6 Things We Wish Came With The Adulting Package

Ibukun

August 25, 2021

Adulting

Adulthood, adulting, Nigerian adult, Young Adult
5 Things Nigerian Adults Really Need To Stop Doing

Mummy, daddy, uncle and aunty, we shall not be beating around the bush. Here is a list of things you do that we do not appreciate and we think you need to stop doing them.

T for Thanks.

1. Sending Whatsapp broadcasts (a.k.a forwarded many times)

Please, make it stop. The broadcasts are always so long, even if it has been forwarded to you, please send a summary if you think it’s so important and need to share that information.

2.Womb watching

‘‘They have been married for 3 years, why haven’t they given birth?’’. Please, stop it. Respectfully, mind your own business and your own kids.

3.Marriage watching

We keep saying please because we have to respect our elders. Please try to stop doing it, since marriage is sweeting you, enjoy yours.

If you’re into memes, check out this mind-blowing Nigerian meme site we created. Click Here

4.Stop believing all the things you read on WhatsApp

Google has all the answers, the time you want to use to forward the BC, use it to verify that information. Thanks and God bless.

5.Stop expecting respect based on age.

You already know that gen z will tell you what it is. If you don’t respect young people, they would not magically respect you.

T for Thanks and G for God bless.

Ibukun

April 19, 2021

Inside Life

Funny, Nigerian adult, Nigerian parents, Parents
QUIZ: How Much Of A Nigerian Adult Are You?

Let’s forget about your real age for a second. How old are you in Nigerian years? Well, this quiz has the answer. Answer these very simple questions and we’ll tell you how much of a Nigerian adult you really are.

Go ahead:

NerdEfiko

June 17, 2020

Quizzes

Nigerian adult, Quiz
17 Frustrating Things Every Nigerian Adult Who Lives With Their Parents Has To Deal With

1. When your mother still makes you eat only one piece of meat.

As I’m old like this?
2. When your parents make you their chief driver.

“Tolani, come and drive me to work”.
3. When your parents disturb you about marriage but get angry when you have a boy/girlfriend.

I should marry myself?
4. How your parents see you when you try to tell them you’re an adult.

Sigh!
5. Your parents, when it’s 6pm and you’re not home.

Jesus, am I 13 years old?
6. You, when your parents threaten to kick you out of the house.

I knew I was adopted!
7. When your parents try to tell you what to wear.

Kuku take me back to kindergaten.
8. When they make you pay bills in the house and leave the most expensive one for you.

But I’m still the child in the house.
9. When they stop cooking for you and ask you to ‘sort yourself out’.

Na wa o!
10. When they ask you to drop fuel money for the generator but you don’t use the fridge and TV.

Chineke!
11. When your parents stress you for taking a small stroll to the junction.

“You’re always going out”.
12. You, when your parents say “Remember to close the door” or “Don’t forget to take your plate to the kitchen”.

As if I don’t have a brain again.
13. You, when your mother wants to gist with you by force.

Mummy, no please!
14. When your parents still force you to go to church every Sunday.

Hay God!
15. Your parents, when you ask them to knock before entering your room.

“What are you hiding, I’ve kuku seen everything”.
16. Them, when you try to move out of the house.

God of mercy!
17. How you feel when they travel for a while.

Freedom!

Maryam

May 13, 2016

Oldies

Nigeria, Nigerian adult, Nigerian parents, Nigerians