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  • Celebrate Eid With These Books by and About Muslims

    Everyone knows the second day of the Sallah break is when you actually get a break. After all the cooking, excitement and hanging out with family, you finally get the chance to relax. We’ve compiled a list of fun reads to help you do just that.

    “The Story of Maha”

    Written by Sumayya Lee, “The Story of Maha” is a coming-of-age fiction about the titular character. Maha is a South African-Indian Muslim girl whose life changes after her parents are killed at a political rally during Apartheid. She then goes on to live with her grandparents and navigates the boundaries of Muslim life, the conventions of her community and her desire for independence. 

    “The Story of Maha” can be found on Goodreads.

    “Everything Good Will Come”

    Did you know that Sefi Atta—the Nigerian writer of this book—is of Muslim parentage? She was born to a Muslim father. “Everything Good Will Come” is Sefi Atta’s first novel and is a coming-of-age story that follows Enitan’s friendship with Sheri, the daughter of a Muslim Nigerian man and an English woman. The book depicts the struggles of women in a conservative Nigerian society and touches on post-colonial Nigeria and ethnic tensions after the Nigerian Civil War.

    You can find the book on Amazon, Goodreads or your local bookstore.

    “Ayesha at Last”

    If you like a good love story, you’d love this book by Uzma Jalaluddin. It is a modern-day retelling of “Pride and Prejudice” set in a Toronto Muslim community. The titular character, Ayesha, dreams of being a poet and is determined to avoid an arranged marriage. Then she meets Khalid, who’s as uptight and conservative as they come. Will sparks fly? Find out by getting the book on Amazon or Goodreads.

    “The Good Muslim”

    You might need to grab tissues for this read because Tahmima Anam’s novel is deeply moving. It’s a story about faith and family shadowed by the Bangladesh Liberation War and Islamic radicalism. The book focuses on two siblings (survivors of the war) and how they come to terms with their actions and choices. You can get this book on Amazon and Goodreads.

    “A Thousand Splendid Suns”

    A Thousand Splendid Suns

    This bestseller, written by Khaled Hosseini, is set in Afghanistan and follows Mariam, a Muslim woman forced to marry a shoemaker at 15. Decades later, she befriends Leila, a local teenager. Their friendship gets tested when the Taliban take over, and life becomes a desperate struggle against starvation and brutality. You can get this book on Rovingheights, Amazon, and Goodreads. 

    Pro tip: You might want to check out Khaled Hosseini’s “The Kite Runner” too.

    “Between Two Moons”

    Between Two Moons

    Set in the holy month of Ramadan, this book tells an intimate family story about what it means to grow up as a Muslim teenager struggling with identity and faith in a new country. “Between Two Moons is written by Aisha Abdel Gawad and can be found on Amazon and Goodreads.

    “You Think You Know Me”

    You think you know me

    If you loved “The Hate U Give”, you’d love this book by Ayaan Mohamud. It tells a powerful story about finding the strength to speak up against hate, discrimination and fear. It focuses on Hanan, a teenage girl who loses her friend and then gains the confidence to stand up to Islamophobia and racism. You can get the book on Amazon and Goodreads.

    NEXT READ: 7 Muslim Movies and TV Shows to Binge-Watch in the Spirit of Eid

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    Tife Oni

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  • #NairaLife: 10 of the Most-Loved Stories of 2023

    2023 might have been the trickiest year for the naira yet. The currency went through more ups and downs than our constantly embattled national grid and affected Nigerians’ relationship with money in more ways than before.

    Per usual, NairaLife had one goal this year: Finding answers to how Nigerians are making, spending — and even losing — their money. How has money (or the lack of it) affected the quality of lives?

    The stories we told sparked conversations, offered insights into subjects people seldom think about and caused some “God, when?”s. 

    Here are ten stories you couldn’t stop talking about, and which deserve a second read.

    These are the stories that did the most numbers:

    1. How do people in the seats of power live?

    This story broke the internet and received mixed reactions when it was published. Some were pissed to read about the extravagant life this politician’s daughter lives, and others weren’t too surprised. 
    But one thing is clear: it’s important we have these difficult conversations about money. As Ruka, our editor-in-chief, explained in this thread, these conversations are a stark reminder of the country we live in.

    #NairaLife: The Politician’s Daughter Who Doesn’t Need to Work for Money

    2. She has over $150k in savings but is only 50% happy

    I had to physically stop myself from converting $150k to naira when I read this story the first time. This lawyer should hold a savings masterclass. She has three savings buckets in dollars. When asked why she put her financial happiness at just 5/10, she said, “I need more money. I want to be able to travel and do more for myself without having to touch any of my savings buckets.”

    Fair enough.

    #NairaLife: She’s Saving For Her Future, and She’s at $150k

    3. There are side gigs, and there ARE side gigs

    I’m not sure if “side gig” is an accurate description of the other jobs this finance guy does. I mean, if your main salary pays ₦1.2m/month and a side gig pays as much as ₦8m, which one deserves the tag of “main income source”?

    Anyway, you’ll definitely learn a thing or two from his story.

    The #Nairalife of a Hustler Juggling a Finance Job With Multiple Side Gigs

    4. How do you own real estate worth over ₦40m on a civil servant salary?

    The answer is years of planning, relationships and access to loans. This NairaLife is one of the most insightful ones I’ve read so far. I’ve never found civil services appealing, but after reading this, it’s not looking so bad.

    #NairaLife: She’s a Civil Servant and her Investment Choice is Real Estate

    5. The writer making bank in crypto’s volatile market

    If peer pressure ever pushes you to crypto, consider what the content writer in this story said first: “I feel the best way to make money in crypto is to get a job in crypto. So, while I hold some coins and try my best to avoid trading, I watch out for job opportunities in the crypto market. It’s the perfect blend of stability and risk.”

    That said, he’s raking in a cool $1200/month following his own advice.

    The #Nairalife of a Crypto Content Writer Raking in $1200/month

    These are the stories you absolutely need to read:

    6. A Nairalife sponsored entirely by faith in God

    This was the first Nairalife story I wrote, so it has a special place in my heart. He’s a full-time missionary who should be earning ₦49k/month, but he hardly gets paid because his pay depends on donations.

    I’ll never forget the confidence with which this missionary said, “I move with this confidence that I have God and can never be stranded.” Literal chills.

    #NairaLife: The Christian Missionary Trusting God With ₦49k/Month

    7. He made 100x his salary in three years, and it started from a bet

    You know that proverb, “What an elder sees sitting down, a child can’t see even if they climb the tallest tree”? It’s a good thing the data engineer in this #NairaLife didn’t follow that. His dad wanted him to join the military, but he chose computers. We can agree that decision paid off, because he now makes ₦3.5m/month.

    #NairaLife: He Sabotaged His Dad’s Plan, Now He Makes ₦3.5m/Month

    8. From almost-yahoo boy to POS agent

    I don’t think I’ve rooted for someone as much as I do the 23-year-old in this story. He’s been hustling since he was very young and left home when he was 16. No, his parents weren’t dead. They just weren’t present.

    At his lowest, he almost turned to a life of crime. But a chance encounter changed the course of his life.

    #NairaLife: He Almost Became a Yahoo Boy. Now He’s a POS Agent

    9. The stay-at-home dad who’s choosing his family over money

    It’s unusual to find a dad who chooses to do a “woman’s job” by becoming their children’s primary caregiver in Nigeria’s heavily patriarchal society, so I knew I had to tell this story. 

    Fun fact: This interview was interrupted several times when his kids cried, and he had to attend to them. I thought it was the cutest thing ever.

    The #NairaLife of a Stay-at-Home Dad Who’s Choosing His Family Over Money

    10. Navigating a finance-threatening mental disorder 

    I first heard of the term “dyscalculia” during the interview for this story. This 25-year-old subject has struggled with numbers for as long as she can remember, and as an adult, it’s progressed into an inability to handle money and poor financial decision-making.

    On top of that, she was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder in 2022, which explains her constant struggle to keep jobs. Her story really gives individuals’ relationship with money a whole new perspective.

    #NairaLife: She’s 25, Navigating Low Income and a Mental Disorder

    If you’re interested in talking about your Naira Life story, this is a good place to start.

    Yes, I want to do a Naira Life

    Find all the past Naira Life stories here.

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    Tife Oni

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  • Abroad Life: Must-Read Stories of 2022

     From the story of a Nigerian woman who almost committed suicide because of the UK’s slow healthcare system to that of another man who got served breakfast in the freezing cold of winter, Abroad Life has always given you the best stories from Nigerians living abroad.

    Just in case you missed them, here are some of the most interesting Abroad Life Stories for the year.

    1. “You Don’t Know How Black You Are Until You’re on a Train With Only White People” — Abroad Life

    A career opportunity helped him move to Germany, but he’d made the decision much earlier when his friend got stabbed in the neck and died because the hospital wouldn’t treat her without a police report. He decided he’d had enough and started looking to leave Nigeria.

    What you’d find most interesting in this story is the tax. . I can’t imagine the Nigerian government asking me to surrender that much of my income every month. I will fight.

    2. “England’s Slow Healthcare System Almost Led Me to Suicide” – Abroad Life

    The UK’s healthcare system might be free, but it apparently can be ridiculously slow, according to this woman’s story. The subject of this story felt this the hardest when she couldn’t get urgent medical care for a condition that made her suicidal. 

    The wildest part of the story for me is the fact that medical appointments often have to be made months in advance.

    3. “Sorry, Not Everyone in Jamaica Smokes Weed” — Abroad Life

    This story flies in the face of many stereotypes that exist about Jamaica, but the highlight of the story for me was the fact that Jamaicans actually love Nollywood. This is definitely a must-read for anyone who wants to know what it’s like to live in Jamaica.

    4. “I Tried to Leave Nigeria Three Times, and I Saw Pepper” – Abroad Life

    Many parts of this story felt like a movie. From moving to Italy all alone as a teenager to being deported from another African country as an African, this country had me saying “Omo” so many times.

    5. “The French Have Beef With People Who Speak English” – Abroad Life

    Most of us agree that French is a sexier language than English, but who would have thought that the French people would be snobbish about it? The key takeaway from this story is — Speak English to a French person and you’ll get aired.

    6. “I Was Denied a Job in South Africa Because of My Nigerian Surname” — Abroad Life

    He moved to Johannesburg when he was five years old and has spent over seventeen years there. By many measures, he’s South African. But in real life, he’s still denied a lot of opportunities because his parents are Nigerian.

    7. “North Cyprus Can Be Scary for Nigerians” — Abroad Life

    We once said that you should remove North Cyprus from your Japa plans, and this story tells us exactly why. From unwarranted arrests of new entrants to discriminatory work conditions for immigrants, Cyprus doesn’t really like Nigerians like that.

    8. “I Turn Off My Lights at Night to Pretend I’m in Nigeria” — Abroad Life

    As a Nigerian who’s frequently affected by Nigeria’s electricity issues, I felt this one in my chest. But it’s nice to see how the subject adapts to having access to things that’ll normally stress you here in Nigeria.

    9. “Travelling Made Me Feel Like a Bird Set Free” — Abroad Life

    The subject of this story didn’t like that he couldn’t move around freely in Nigeria. He decided to take matters into his own hands and move to Poland. Since then, he’s been touring all of Europe. 

    10. “The Dating Scene in the UK Is Scary”- Abroad Life

     The subject of this story may avoid dating in the UK because of his experience. He fell into a talking stage with a Nigerian woman and travelled for two hours in the freezing cold to go see her. He got there for the dinner they’d planned, and she said she wasn’t feeling like going anymore. More than the weather, he’s still shaken by her coldness and will be sticking to the streets.

    Sheriff Alimi

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  • #NairaLife: 10 Must-Read Stories of 2022

    Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.

    Luno is a great way to get into cryptocurrency Download and start trading today.

    Before we enter 2023, these are 10 #NairaLife stories from this year absolutely everyone should read.

    And if you’ve read them before, read them again.

    1. #NairaLife: What Happens When You Have to Raise Five Siblings at 20?

    At first, this seems like a your regular grass to grace story, but things heat up really quickly. The loss of a mother, the irresponsibility of a father and the potential danger to the lives of his five younger siblings made the then 20-year-old subject on this story take matters into his own hands. Things didn’t go smoothly right from the jump, but life smiled on him one day and he’s not looked back since. You cannot miss this one.

    2. The #NairaLife of the 27-Year-Old Driver Trying to Get Into Tech

    This Naira Life subject has always been an aspiring tech bro. Even when he was working as an unpaid employee at his mum’s bukka and motel, he managed to go to computer school to learn design and programming — and somehow, fraud.

    Now he’s a driver and he’s building apps — one of which he uses to over-charge his customers. His aim in life? To get into tech proper proper. No more fraud.

    3. The Regretful #NairaLife of a Nine-Year Career Spent in a Family Business

    This is the Naira Life of “had I knowns”. According to the subject, one mistake — not choosing Lagos for NYSC — led to a series of career blunders that put her where she is now. But none of those mistakes is as significant as working for her brother for the past nine years.

    Now, after training people who’ve gone on to have impressive careers, she’s stuck. Both financially — she earns ₦60k monthly — and mentally. One thing she knows though, is that she needs to do something different.

    4. The #NairaLife of a 32-Year-Old Divorcee With Unpursued Dreams

    After seven years, two children and a failed marriage, the 32-year-old subject of this Naira Life returned to her parents’ home with just ₦500 to her name. Things are picking up for her again, but you just get a sense that she didn’t have to go through all this wahala in life. Don’t miss this one.

    5. #NairaLife: This 24-Year-Old Makes Millions Playing FIFA

    A yoruba adage that speaks to the unending variety of ways people can make money goes, “Ọ̀nà kan ò wọ’jà” (It’s never just one road that leads to the market). For this guy, the thing that makes him millions, fame and takes him to represent Nigeria all around the world is the same thing his parents scolded him for doing too much when he was a kid: playing video games.

    6. #NairaLife: This Nurse Is Fighting Sickle Cell and Sapa With Two Jobs

    The 26-year-old nurse on this #NairaLife lived in wealth until her dad died mysteriously when she was 12. Things got so bad, she had to retake a semester in school because she was owing ₦1k. Since then, she’s sold sweets, bread, eggs and even written love letters to make money. Now, she works at two different hospitals and is saving to japa.

    I asked her: Did all that physical activity affect your health?

    And she replied: Very badly. I fell sick a lot, but it was either sickness or be broke and hungry. I didn’t want to go hungry. 

    7. The #NairaLife of a Lawyer Aiming for $100K a Year Through Tech

    Fun fact: I interviewed the subject and published the story in January 2022. At the time, she earned ₦2m a month. Approximately $41k/year at the time. In April, we spoke again. She’d gotten a new job that surpassed her $100k/year goal.

    8. The #NairaLife of the Morally Complicated Guidance Counsellor

    The guidance counsellor on this Naira Life might need some counselling. The 25-year-old works as a guidance counsellor at his parents’ school for ₦100k a month. But before that, he did a lot for money, including selling pure water, thrifting clothes and fraud. From the interview, it was clear he had a lot to iron out with his parents. I hope he’s had the chance to.

    9. From Nursing to Hairdressing: This 43-Year-Old Mum Is Living in Debt

    “Between 1996 and 2014, today’s subject on #NairaLife worked as an auxiliary nurse. Her highest salary in that period was ₦12k. Today, she works as a hairdresser and lives on loans she repays every week.”

    Fun fact: In one week, this story got ₦335k in donations from Zikoko’s Naira Life readers to clear her debts and find her feet. As if that wasn’t enough, the subject was placed on a ₦30k monthly stipend from another reader from May to December this year. 

    10. The Heartwarming #NairaLife of a 23-Year-Old Breadwinner

    A win for me, with this story, is the title. The story is heartwarming. This 23-year-old’s family went from going on trips and sending children to study abroad to owing ₦30k in a Nigerian university. Things got so bad, the subject’s dad attempted suicide. Here’s an excerpt from when things got better:

    “Bro, when the first alert entered, it was like ₦1.5m. My entire family looked at the alert; all those little frustrations died. It was like a complete sense of ease just filled the house. I’d never seen such pride on my parents’ faces. As a child, whenever I thought about my first million, I thought I would get it through savings. I’d just exceeded it in a month. At 22. I gave my dad ₦150k, my mum ₦100k, and we bought stuff for the house. That’s just how things have been since then.”

    Luno is a great way to get into cryptocurrency Download and start trading today.

    David Odunlami

    ,
  • Interview With: 10 Must-Read Inanimate Object Interviews of 2021

    Interview With… is a Zikoko weekly series that explores the weird and interesting lives of inanimate objects and non-human entities.

    Can I tell you the truth? If there is one Zikoko flagship you should never miss, it should be Interview With. I’m serious, this series brings you humour, madness, creativity and range like never before. I have interviewed Saxophone, Titus sardine, Small Yansh, Turning Stick, among many others. Why would you miss such a series?

    Because I love you, I compiled a list of top ten inanimate object interviews you must read. You’re welcome.

    1. Interview With Saxophone: “Nigerians Have Seen Me Finish”

    Let’s be honest, we are all tired of Saxophone serenades at this point, yeah? We want someone to hold their birthday without the neighbours being disturbed by pararan sounds. If we as humans are tired, guess how tired the actual saxophone must be.

    That’s why you should read this interview so you can ‘hear’ Saxophone itself rant to us. Read here.

    2. Interview With Lagos Apartments

    Before Nigerians started discovering the slices of house in Lagos and the madness of Lagos agents, Zikoko already gathered up the apartments and spoke to them about the situation of things. In this interview, we spoke to Three Bedroom Flat In Yaba, Dog House In Lekki, Uncompleted Building In Shomolu, Shop In Mushin, and Slice Of House In Lagos Island. All the apartments Lagos agents offer to you when you tell them you want to rent a house.

    Read here.

    3. Interview With Detty December: “Come Rain, Come Shine, We Outside”

    There’s Omicron outside. Constable Sapa too is patrolling the streets. But does this concern Detty December? Apparently not. She’s all dressed up and ready to hit the streets.

    Read our interview with her so you can get the full gist of our discussion. Read here.

    4. Interview With Twitter Bird: “Tell Adamu Garba To Rest”

    In case you forgot, let us remind you: this was the year Twitter was banned in Nigeria. This was also the year Adamu Garba tried to force Crowwe on us. And this, too, was the same year Adamu Garba filed a lawsuit against Jack Dorsey of Twitter.

    You know what we did while all of this was going on? We secretly brought the Twitter bird into our office and interviewed it.

    Read here.

    5. Interview With Naira Notes: “Everything Is Packaging”

    Gather all the naira notes together, and they still wouldn’t be able to buy you a decent live chicken for Christmas. Why then are we running after them? In this interview, the naira notes expose themselves as fake beaches and detty liars who are living a fake life.

    Read here.

    6. Interview With Small Chops: “Puff-Puff Is Not A Part Of Us”

    Quick question: what does not belong in a small chops platter? You don’t have to answer, the members of the small chops association already answered that question in this interview. They all dragged each other, and only one baddie came out on top. Guess which one?

    Read here.

    7. Interview With Mojisola, The Lagos Mojito: “Leaf Is Leaf”

    Interview With Mojisola, The Lagos Mojito: “Leaf Is Leaf” | Zikoko!

    Lagos Mojito has come into disrepute lately. Lagos residents (read: Lagos alcoholics) have complained about Lagos bartenders trying to punish them with herbal concoction, instead of Mojito. As the investigative journalists that we are, we brought Lagos Mojito itself into our office for questioning.

    Guess what? It’s now being called Mojisola.

    Read here.

    8. Interview With Turning Stick: “I Am Not A Man Of War”

    Yes, you know the Turning Stick, but do you really know him?

    In this interview, we spoke about his main job and side hustle, as well as the annoying way Nigerian mothers use him against their children. The Turning Stick has really witnessed a lot, and this interview will show you just how much.

    Read here.

    9. Interview With Titus Sardine: “I Am Now A Bad Bitch”

    Before our very eyes, Titus sardine that used to be about ₦350 has jumped to ₦750 and is slowly approaching ₦1,000. What could be the reason for such a drastic increase in price? Of course, hold Buhari. And more importantly, how does Titus sardine feel about being the newest luxury item?

    It was such a honour to have Titus sardine grace us with its expensive presence.

    Read here.

    10. Interview With Small Yansh: “I Will Keep Shaking”

    See Small Yansh dey shake oh!

    Small Yansh ‘shaked’ into our office and we interviewed it. If you’ll read only one interview on this list, let this be the one.

    Read here.

    Check back every Friday by 9AM for new Interview With episodes. To read previous stories, click here.

    [donation]

    Kunle Ologunro

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  • Abroad Life: 10 Must-Read Stories of 2021

    Abroad Life constantly tells stories of Nigerians in diaspora with a wide range of experiences, from the mundane to the extraordinary. If you missed any Abroad Life stories this year, it shouldn’t be these ones.

    1. “I Left Malaysia Because Cultists Threatened My Life”- Abroad Life

    This story was a movie: Smart young boy moves to Malaysia because he’s tired of university in Nigeria. He gets really good at software development and some bad guys find out, so they begin to pester him to help them create apps and websites that will move millions of dollars out of people’s accounts. He says no. They stalk him and threaten his life. He has to run away.

    Definitely a must-read.

    2. “I Went From Earning ₦20,000 to $200,000”- Abroad Life

    When you see this headline, you might say, “Whoa!”, but when you read the story, you’ll end up speechless. On the morning of the day this woman was to move to the US, she had no clue. She had applied for a visa and got it, and was just going to let it rot in her passport, until an aunt she hadn’t spoken to since she was a child called and said, “Pack your bags. You’re coming to the US today.”

    3. “If You’re Not A Fraudster In Cyprus, You’re A Nobody”- Abroad Life

    My first ever Abroad Life story about Cyprus was about fraud. When I set up the meeting to speak with this guy, I expected something different. I was wrong. In the midst of all this pressure to do fraud, he’s also struggling to make new friends after his Nigerian friends abandoned him. Tough life.

    4. “I Financed My Japa By Freelancing Online”- Abroad Life

    The comment my editor made when she got halfway through story was, “What the hell is going on here!?” When you think of hustle, this guy should probably come to your mind first. The things he did to make money range from fixing phones to selling electronic gadgets to teaching Karate and then to freelance writing. Now, he’s in the UK with his wife and two sons, and he’s finally resting.

    5. “I Returned To Nigeria And Almost Got Kidnapped By Fake Policemen”- Abroad Life

    When I first saw this story on Twitter, I thought “I want to hear everything that happened.” When the guy and I eventually got in touch, I loved every single second we spent talking.

    Fun fact: I’m pretty sure this was my longest Abroad Life interview ever because we kept getting distracted and talking about the most random stuff.

    The story though, was pretty mind-blowing. You should read it.

    6. “We Lost Everything We Had in South Africa, But We’re Not Going Back”- Abroad Life

    What happens when you go into a new country almost empty-handed, work your way to some form of wealth and then leave to visit your home country right before the pandemic hits? In this woman’s case, she and her husband lost everything they had worked for and are having to start from level 0 again.

    And it’s all because of terrible friends.

    7. “It’s Not Easy Shuttling Between The US and The UK”- Abroad Life

    My editor’s note when she saw this headline was, “God, please make my life difficult.” After seven years and ten countries, the subject on this Abroad Life is now finally settled in the US for her PhD. She talks about living in the Gulf, being underwhelmed by America and keeping her marriage stable by travelling to the UK frequently to see her husband.

    8. “Nigeria Destroyed My Expectations, But I Chose To Stay”- Abroad Life

    This story will make you angry at Nigeria over and over and over again. Seeing life through the eyes of someone who lived in Nigeria when things weren’t so bad will make you feel some type of way. He returned to Nigeria because he hoped to make it big here. What he met however, was a destruction of his expectations, and confusion.

    9. “My Husband’s Ministry Brought Me Back To Nigeria”- Abroad Life

    A lot of people on social media were angry at the woman in this story. She was a “baby girl” in Dubai, living her best life and getting paid sweet money, growing to the top of her PR career and stepping on her haters necks. All of that changed when she got married to her husband, a pastor in Nigeria, and had to move here with him. Now, she’s starting her career again in a place she doesn’t really understand.

    10. “I Saw $1 Million In Cash And I Almost Lost My Mind” – Abroad Life

    This story should be made into a movie. Imagine seeing $1 million in cash right in front of you, and knowing it’s crime money. He talks about how the organised crime scene in Malaysia almost made him go into fraud and why he’s back in Nigeria.

    Hey there! My name is Sheriff and I’m the writer of Abroad Life. If you’re a Nigerian and you live or have lived abroad, I would love to talk to you about what that experience feels like and feature you on Abroad Life. All you need to do is fill out this short form, and I’ll be in contact.

    Fill the form

    David Odunlami

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  • 10 Must-Read Love Life Stories of 2021

    Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.

    2021 was a long year for all of us but one of the things that kept me going was writing Love Life. Kunle and I got to interview at least 24 Nigerian couples each. We covered stories about thriving love, toxic love, love gone sour and everything in between. I am definitely looking forward to doing more next year but before then, here’s a list of love life stories you absolutely must read.

    1. Love Life: We Fell In Love While Cheating With Each Other

    This story was one of the first wildest stories I wrote when I just joined the team. They were both experiencing relationship issues with their partners and decided to cheat as self-care. After spending a lot of time together, they realised they were in love but what about their partners?

    Read Favour and Farida’s love life here. 

    2. Love Life: He Wouldn’t Go To London Without Me

    “To be honest, there was no way I would’ve taken the job if she couldn’t come with me. I had my own plans around it. I knew it was possible for her to come along as a visitor, and we could figure out the other parts later.”

    This one shows that God certainly has favourites. The couple had only been friends with benefits for a few months when he asked to move with him to London. 

    Read the full gist here. 

    3. Love Life: My Father Doesn’t Want Me To Marry A Yoruba Man

    “My dad insulted his life and destiny. He seemed offended that Tunji would even come to indicate any kind of interest. It was hell, but Tunji was cool throughout all of this. He just promised to come to see my dad again.”

    This Love Life story is the kind of story you watch in Nollywood movies. Ezinne’s dad refused to give Tunji his blessings because he is a Yoruba man. 

    Finish the story here. 

    4. Love Life: We’re No Longer Together, But We’re Life Partners

    Love Life featured a few breakup stories this year but this one was a crowd favourite. What do you do when you’ve gone from friends to lovers to friends? 

    Read about Mezie and Oge’s love life here. 

    5. Love Life: Our Parents Are Worried We’ll Divorce

    “I’m willing to get married without my parents. If they don’t want to support us, I’m cool with it. I have Gbemi’s family, and I am satisfied with having her parents as my parents, her siblings as my siblings. I am gaining a family.“

    Who would have thought that a Nigerian-American woman marrying a Chinese man would be complicated? 

    Read Ruoyu and Gbemi’s love life here. 

    6. Love Life: I Moved To Nigeria To Be With Her

    Moving for love was a recurrent theme in our Love Life episodes this year. The thing about this story is that while others were moving out of Nigeria to be with their lovers, Bibi moved to Nigeria to be with her partner.

    Would you that for love?

    Read Bibi and Kelly’s Love Life here. 

    7. Love Life: This Relationship Has Made Me More Conscious Of My Privilege

    “My work in this relationship is understanding disability, recognising my privilege and doing what I can, if the opportunity arises, to help other people living with disabilities or less privileged.” 

    The love this couple shares is so intentional you would want to join them in their relationship. Read the full story here. 

    8. Love Life: It Took Us 9 Years To Fall In Love

    This love life episode has all the feels. They met in church, became best friends until they found themselves in love. 

    “I was the first to realise I was in love and I didn’t waste any time letting him know how I felt. I mean, I had always loved him as a friend, and now I had fallen in love with him. It seemed so perfect and so I wanted more.”

    Continue here. 

    9. Love Life: We Were Made For Each Other 

    Another recurring theme of love life episodes this year was the best friend-turned-lover trope. You can never have too much of it. Uwem and Blessing’s story will have you texting your boo thing, “Where are we headed?”

    Read their love life here. 

    10. Love Life: Opening Our Marriage Felt Natural

    “It’s not open in the way most people immediately think. Yes, you can sleep with other people, but you have to have a conversation about the person first. The other partner has to be completely fine with it for it to happen.”

    If you are curious about how open marriages are with Nigerian couples, you should definitely read this love life episode. 

    Charles and Rukky’s Love Life. 

    Bonus because you are my favorite person: Love Life: She Made Me a Christmas Tree with 120 Bottles of My Favourite Beer

    It’s the love life of a 30+ Nigerian lesbian couple married and living in Nigeria. It’s the most romantic love story I wrote all year, argue with me after you read it here: 

    Zikora and Hadiza’s love life.

    Next year, we want to do more Love Life stories you’d love. If you and your partner(s) are open to an interview, please fill out this form. If you know someone we should be talking to, please send them the form. 

    Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Ships newsletter, so sign up here.

    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill this form.

    Mariam Sule

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  • What She Said: 10 Must-Read Stories of 2021

    This year, we got to document so many different stories that show us that being an African woman is not one dimensional. There are different layers to each woman’s story. Although there might be similarities, each story is it’s own.

    These stories range from battling PCOS, to marital and fertility issues to enjoyment and what it means to live your best life. As we look forward to a new year, here are ten What She Said stories you have to read.

    1) What She Said: An Ovarian Drilling Made Life Make Sense Again

    Imagine one day starting your period, and having it just not stop? A period lasting for ten days is already difficult as it is, but what if it went on for as long as 123 days? This article is about a woman’s journey with PCOS, how it affected her mental and physical health, and finally getting a solution to her problem. Read about her journey here.

    I laid down for an ultrasound, and he pointed at my ovaries on the screen and said, in the most condescending tone, “See that? You have what we in the field call polycystic ovaries.” After we’d sat back down, he wrote me a prescription for 4 packs of birth control, handed it to me, and said, “Lose some weight and you’ll be fine”. That was all. 

    2) What She Said: Marriage And Children Are Not Tickets To Heaven

    It is common practice in a lot of African countries that by a certain age, women should be married with children. A lot of people believe that young women who say they neither want to get married nor have children will live a sad and unhappy life. So, we spoke to a 61-year-old woman who neither got married nor had children and she told us about how much she enjoys the life she currently lives. Read about her life here.

    Initially, I did want to get married but the men were never faithful to me. They were disappointments and I just decided not to get involved with them anymore. I am very happy with my decision. I have my family around me and they take care of me. They always make me feel welcome.

    3) What She Said: After Surviving Cervical Cancer, I Just Want Peace

    This woman has had a tough life. She had to deal with abusive friends, a tense relationship with her mother, and also cervical cancer. It’s no surprise she only wants to experience peace for the rest of her life. Read her story here.

    I recently discovered that I was circumcised. Apparently, when I was younger, I stayed with an aunt while my parents travelled. One night while I slept, she cut off my clit. Because of that, I’m always tense in my sleep, as if I’m expecting to be attacked. Everything is a trauma response for me. From the way I walk, to the way I sleep. The first week of therapy left me really depressed. 

    Read more stories like this by subscribing to our women’s newsletter

    4) What She Said: Choosing Enjoyment Meant Leaving My Husband

    What does enjoyment mean to you, and how do you prioritise it in your life? This article is about a woman who doesn’t want a life that includes any form of suffering. She would do almost anything to protect her peace, even if that thing is leaving her husband and raising her children alone. Read why she did it here.

    When I was younger, I did not handle being rejected well. There was a time a guy said he liked me but didn’t want to date me. I was stunned. Like how dare he? Why would he allow common sense to derail him from enjoyment? I am a big believer in enjoyment, so this did not make any sense to me. 

    5) What She Said: People Demonise Me Because I’m A Traditionalist

    Ever wondered what it’s like to have your beliefs and traditions demonised? Well, this woman does. Born a traditionalist, she talks about what it’s like navigating being a traditional worshipper, changing the narrative on what its like to be a traditionalist while constantly demonised because of her beliefs. Read about it here.

    People have this perception that if you’re a traditional worshipper, you have to look a certain way. So I am deliberate about the way I dress and everything. My life mission is to show people that they can “worship idols” and be baby girls and boys while doing it. I think this helps with how people see me —  they may still want to bind and cast me, but it helps.

    6) What She Said: Getting A Job Saved My Marriage

    For the woman in this article, there were a lot of things she wishes she knew before she got married. She also thinks it would have been a lot easier in the beginning if she had waited a while before she had her child. The early part of her marriage was filled with children and arguments with her husband, but getting a job helped fix that. Read how here

    If I could go back in time, I probably would have married someone who was like two years older than me. There were some conversations we’d have that used to annoy me. If I wanted to express myself, he’d think I’m arguing.  He’d say, “Why are you arguing? I can be your brother; I can be your uncle.” And I’m like, “No, you can’t be. You’re my husband.” 

    7) What She Said: I Didn’t Get A Chance To Be A Child

    The African first daughter experience is being made an adult while still a child. Imagine having to care for and look after children while being stripped of your own childhood? The woman in this article got her childhood taken away from her by her parents. Read more here.

    This is why I feel like a second mum. I never had a chance to be a child. Everything that concerned my siblings was done by me. If they made any mistakes, I got the blame. They tell me I’m supposed to know better because I’m older. I have no space to myself. I started cooking for my siblings when I was eight. I couldn’t make soups, but I was making sauces, potatoes, yam, etc. They still expect that from me.

    Don’t miss out on hot tea. Subscribe to the best newsletter for Nigerian women.

    8) What She Said: I Am No Longer Pursuing Conception Anymore

    PCOS has a lot of life altering symptoms such as depression, weight gain, and infertily. After dealing with multiple miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy, the woman in this article gave up on conception. Read her journey here

    You keep asking yourself why your body does not function the way it is supposed to. I had a picture of a family of four, but it wasn’t happening because my body was failing me. My son wanted a companion and friend. He used to cry when people who come to visit go back home and was always so emotional when people talked about their siblings. I just wanted to give him that. 

    9) What She Said: My Parents Sent Me Away When I Was Seven

    There’s a lot to be learnt from the lives of older women. The woman in this article gives us an insight into her life. From facing abuse when she was sent to live with her half-sister at the age of seven to her brother’s wife helping her heal and forgive. Read her story here.

    My brother’s wife encouraged me to forget about the bitterness. She took me everywhere she went and made me believe I could make something out of my life. She treated me like her own sister and made me feel wanted.  She even updated my wardrobe, and gave me some of her clothes.  Since she was a  teacher, she helped with my school work. She is a wonderful person.

    10) What She Said: I Was Asked To Withdraw From Pharmacy In My Final Year

    Starting over is never easy, especially when you were so close to finishing. The woman in this article wanted to study Agriculture, but ended up studying pharmacy to make her father happy. From falling sick to being put on probation, read here to find out why she was asked to withdraw in her final year.

    In my third year, I carried over almost all the courses I took. There was no definite reason why. It was rather, a combination of a lot of things. I was sad, tired, and exhausted. I had a lot of clashing classes because of the courses I was still taking from my lower class. Studying got even harder to do. There were back to back tests and I was extremely anxious because I was scared of failing again. It was a really difficult year for me. 

    [donation]

    Itohan Esekheigbe

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  • What She Said: 6 Must-Read Stories of 2020

    This year, we documented a wide range of experiences from women of all backgrounds. In today’s What She Said, we highlight some of these stories. From the divorcee dating again to the first-class law graduate, these are stories of women living life on their own terms — our 2020 must-reads!

    1. What She Said: What We Hate About Being Married

    In this story, we asked women from different parts of Africa about their marriage experiences. The answers form a wide range of experiences — from the woman who hates sharing a room with her husband to the woman who doesn’t want to have kids.

    2. What She Said: “I Make Music For Bad Bitches”

    If you don’t know who Amaarae is, you should do better. In this conversation, she talks about her recent album, her relationship with her mum and the world and why success for her is “when women in Africa are given the tools to be great and I can use my platform to enable that type of growth within our community.”

    3. What She Said: To Turn 30 Years No Be Crime

    For many women around the world, ageing is a curse. The older an unmarried woman gets, the harder it is to feel wanted by society. The 36-year-old woman in this story talks not wanting to get married or have kids, and why she loves getting older.

    4. What She Said: How To Date After A Divorce

    More on living life on your terms, the woman in this story is a recent divorcee who gives us the gist on what it’s like dating again; she also has some advice for us.

    5. What She Said: I Lost A Leg At 19, But That Hasn’t Stopped Me

    Chioma lost a leg in an accident at 19, and as said in the title, that didn’t stop her. She talks about adapting to the change, difficulties that come up and getting a first-class degree in law school. 

    6. What She Said: I Didn’t Expect To Be A Fourth Wife At 27 But I’m Happy

    Choosing to marry a 61-year-old man who already had three wives when she was 27 was an easy decision for this woman. She’s 29 now and walks us through the unique dynamics of her married life.

    Read Also: What She Said: Coming Out To My Religious Parents As Bisexual

    Ruth Zakari

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  • A Week In The Life: 10 Must-Read Stories Of 2020

    On March 10 2020, I published the first-ever “A Week In The Life” story. It addressed the struggles of a female Keke driver who was punching her weight in a male-dominated field while also doubling as a breadwinner. This theme of understanding people’s work struggles set the tone for the rest of the episodes in the series.

    Since then, I’ve spoken to over 40 Nigerians with different jobs, struggles, and wins. These stories have opened minds, sparked conversations, and changed the life of subjects along the way.

    As the year comes to a close, I’ve picked 10 of the absolute must-read in this series.

    1) A Week In The Life Of A Kayan Mata Seller Focusing On Sex Education

    Today’s subject is Maryam Usman, a Kayan Mata seller from the North. She talks about the challenges that come with her business and more importantly, the need for sex education amongst Northern women.

    Read here.

    2) A Week In The Life Of A Flight Attendant

    Today’s subject is *Tunde. A 29-year-old flight attendant of mixed heritage who tells us that part of the training to become a flight attendant involves learning how to deliver babies.

    flight attendant

    Read here.

    3) A Week In The Life Of A Call Center Agent At The Suicide Hotline

    Today’s subject is **Mark, a psychologist who is a call center agent at the suicide hotline. He walks us through his battle with faith, the need to help people, and the challenges that come with his job.

    Read here.

    4) A Week In The Life Of A Nurse On The COVID-19 Frontlines

    Today’s subject is *Agnes, a nurse currently caring for Covid patients. She tells us her fears as a young person working in close contact with an infectious disease.

    Read here.

    5) A Week In The Life Of ‘Agba’, The Entertainer Who’d Rather Be Rich Than Famous

    The subject for today’s “A Week In The Life” is Olubiyi Oluwatobiloba, an entertainer popularly known as ‘Agba’ of Konibaje baby fame. He tells us about the good and bad side of fame, his creative process, and his exit plan when skits are no longer sustainable.

    Read here.

    6) A Week In The Life Of An Imam Navigating A Zoom Ramadan During Covid-19

    Today’s subject is Imam Nojeem Jimoh. He tells us how he’s navigating Ramadan using technology in this special time.

    Zoom Ramadan Covid-19

    Read here.

    7) A Day In The Life: The Soldier Eagerly Looking Forward To Civilian Life

    Today’s subject is a soldier in this mid-thirties who walks us through fighting bandits in the North, corruption in the military, and his plans for civilian life once his military service is over.

    Read here.

    8) “Border Closure Is Only Enriching People” – A Week In The Life Of A Smuggler

    The subject for today is Mr M, a businessman and smuggler. He talks about the risk involved in his job, how bribes affect the prices of goods, and his hope to diversify his source of income.

    Read here.

    9) “Men Try To Take Advantage Of Me” – A Week In The Life Of A Female Bouncer

    The subject of today’s A Week In The Life is Tope. She’s a bouncer and she talks about the stereotypes she faces at work, advances from men, and how difficult it is to be a bouncer during COVID. 

    Read here.

    10) A Week In The Life Of A Fish Specialist Earning $5,000/Month

    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a twenty-six-year-old fish specialist. He talks about making over $30,000 from selling fishes, how he stumbled on the business, the cruelty fishes face, and why he left paid employment.

    Read here.

    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, don’t hesitate to reach out. Reach out to me: hassan@bigcabal.com if you want to be featured on this series.

    [donation]

    Hassan Yahaya

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  • Man Like: 6 Must-Read Stories Of 2020

    What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up.

    “Man Like” is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to “be a man” from the perspective of the subject of the week.

    As 2020 comes to an end, we’ve gathered absolute must-read stories from the “Man-Like” series. The stories cut across money struggles, old age, to toxic masculinity.

    Dive in:

    1) Man Like…Fu’ad Lawal

    The subject for today is Fu’ad Lawal, head of content at Big Cabal. His definition of being a man revolves around duty, loss, and being a baby boy beyond what a tough exterior might suggest.

    I really like this one because you can tell how hard it took for Fu’ad to be vulnerable.

    Man Like...Fu'ad Lawal | Zikoko!

    Read here.

    2) Can Men Really Be Stay At Home Dads? – Man Like Pelumi

    The subject of today is Pelumi, a pharmacist and a tutor. He talks about his great relationship with his dad, how his strained relationship with his mum affects his romantic relationship and why men can’t really choose to be stay at home dads. 

    I also really like this one because it shakes some tables. What do you think?

    Can Men Really Be Stay At Home Dads? - Man Like Pelumi | Zikoko!

    Read here.

    3) Toxic Masculinity Is The Worst Thing That Can Happen To The Boy Child – Man Like Victor

    The subject for today is Victor, and he’s the managing editor of TechCabal. He talks about the struggles of growing up effeminate, the challenges of toxic masculinity and what it means to be human.

    This one works for me because it’s so honest, so human, so relatable.

    Toxic Masculinity Is The Worst Thing That Can Happen To The Boy Child - Man Like Victor | Zikoko!

    Read here.

    4) “I’m Not Scared Of Death, But Old Age Terrifies Me” — Man Like William

    The subject for today’s “Man Like” is William. He’s a husband, father and entrepreneur. He talks about being scared of old age, the benefits of contentment and why a supportive partner is everything.

    This still remains the oldest subject in the “Man Like” series. It was such a wholesome story for me because it touches on a fear I have – getting old.

    Header Man Like 1024x512 (3) (2) | Zikoko!

    Read here.

    5) “Therapy Is Helping With My Anxiety About Money” – Man Like Dwin The Stoic

    The subject of today’s “Man Like” is Edwin, popularly known as Dwin The Stoic. He talks about quitting his 9-5 to pursue music, his anxieties about money, and how he navigates the expectations of masculinity.

    Money is at the center of our lives and it was refreshing hearing someone speak so openly about their struggle.

    Therapy Is Helping With My Anxiety About Money” - Man Like Dwin The Stoic | Zikoko!

    Read here.

    6) Demanding Better Is Not Strange To Me And My Family — Man Like Eromz

    The subject of today’s “Man Like” is Eromz. He talks about being abducted for speaking up during the #EndSars protests, his plans moving forward after his release, and how his family supports all his decisions.

    When someone speaks up against the Nigerian government, you had better drop everything and pay attention!

    Demanding Better Is Not Strange To Me And My Family — Man Like Eromz | Zikoko!

    Read here.

    [donation]

    Hassan Yahaya

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  • Naira Life: 10 Must-Read Stories

    Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.

    As we anticipate the 100th episode of the Nairalife series, here are 10 must-read episodes from the series:

    1) The Firstborn Who’s Playing Breadwinner On A ₦104k/month Salary

    I like this story for a couple of reasons. First, it’s a story about the dark underbelly of city life. I also like it because the #NairaLife before it was about a designer. Except that the previous designer was earning 10 times more than this designer was earning. When you read these stories side by side, it’s an early #Nairalife lesson for me in how a ton of factors, beyond talent, drive success.

    Read here.

    2) The Housewife Living Her Best Life With Zero Salary

    This housewife shook the internet. Why? She tried everything. 9-5’s, entrepreneurship, and you know what she chose? To be a housewife. What exactly is ambition?

    Read here.

    3) The Hustler Staying Hopeful At ₦25k/month

    The suffering in this one is immense. This guy literally trailed off whatever path he’d dreamed for himself. I can’t stop thinking about that one exam he couldn’t pay for…

    Read here.

    4) Still Fighting For Her Future at ₦60k/month

    Marriage can come at a steep cost for women, and no Nairalife epitomises this more than any. Shortly after the marriage, she got pregnant. And then everything changed.

    Read here.

    5) Bills? Over ₦6 Million/Year. Income? She Has No Clue

    This was such a wholesome conversation for me. But it was a very valuable moment of inflection for the subject. It helps that it was hilarious too.

    Read here.

    6) This 70-year-old Woman Sacrificed Every Kobo For One Goal

    I really enjoyed this one because it was the first #Nairalife peek into the 70s and 80s. This woman went through it. She remains the oldest subject of Nairalife till date.

    Read here.

    7) The Student Who Went From ₦3k/month To ₦1 Million

    Some #NairaLife stories mess up your insides. But some of them fill you with hope. This story of how one skill transformed the life of a student and his family will forever be close to my heart.

    Read here.

    8) The #NairaLife Of The Woman Who Went From Maid To Magnate

    This is my favourite NairaLife outlier story. It doesn’t get more extreme than going from maid to magnate.

    Read here.

    9) #NairaLife: How Did She Grow Her Income By Almost 600%? Language

    This is another outlier story that I really love. There’s time, chance, and a wild income jump!

    Read here.

    10) The #Nairalife Of A Depression

    It’s common to hear people talk about “Oh, go to therapy.” This Nairalife is about what it’d look like if people went to therapy. Frankly, the subject of this Nairalife even got lucky.

    Read here.

    Fu’ad Lawal

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