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Enough of the Slander: Here’s What ₦10k Can Do for You

₦10k gets dragged every other week, but all it does is mind its business and help you take care of yours. So, we’ve decided to help everyone appreciate ₦10k a little bit more.
Change your wardrobe
You can change your wardrobe with this little token. All you’ll need to do is haul yourself to a very specific section of Balogun market, and start the change.
Change your hair

Whether it’s a wig or braids you desire, ₦10k’s got your back. The wig might be a sponge in disguise, and you might end up looking like a secondary schooler with those braids, but your hair will definitely get changed.
Start building a house

Source: businessday All you need is the first step, a bag of cement here, two bags there, and your house is in transit. ₦10k can do that for you.
Go on a date

Armed with ₦10k, love and determination, you can definitely take your person out on a date. Just make sure you pick the appropriate restaurant far away from that island in Lagos.
Buy a pair of glasses

Source: Shopify A pair of glasses are useful for a couple things, shielding your eyes from the sun, hiding your eyerolls from your mother, and most importantly, disguising yourself from unnecessary billing. Because if they can’t see you, how’ll they ask you for money you don’t have.
Buy a car…

Source: 5out of4patterns …accessory. Let’s be honest, ₦10k cannot buy you a car, but it can buy you a steering wheel cover, which is pretty close to an actual steering wheel, which is close to a car.
Go outside

You can attend all the events happening around you. Like, HERtitude, and all you’ll need for that is ₦5,500.

Don’t leave without getting your ticket to HERtitude 2023! -
You’ve Wandered Into Crypto Twitter If You See Any of These Things

You stop seeing the typical Nigerian tweets
So you mean no one is insulting another person’s daddy over a small disagreement? Where am I?
But you see “.eth” everywhere
Once you start seeing usernames that end with “(3,3)”, mentally take off your shoes and brace yourself. You’re at the entrance to crypto Twitter.
You don’t understand anything
Just know you’ll start seeing words that make no sense. You’ll scroll through your feed thinking “Wetin be FUD?” and “Which one is GMI again? Golden Morn?”
Everyone talks like they have money
It doesn’t matter that the market is down and everyone’s wallet is in tears. Once a rich person, always a rich person.
You start seeing “fiat” too often
On top of that, they constantly shade the paper money you still don’t have.
Memes… everywhere!
Nobody makes jokes like crypto folks. So, if you start seeing too many memes, you’re probably in crypto Twitter. Even if everything else vexes you, you can at least laugh at the memes.
They say if you can’t beat them, join them. To join crypto Twitter, you need to first own some crypto yourself. You can do this easily on the Luno app, which allows you buy cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin, Litecoin and Ethereum. Download the app and sign up to get started.

Crypto Dictionary
(3,3) – “Good morning”
FUD – Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt
Fiat – Paper currencies like naira, dollar etc.
GMI – “Gonna make it?”
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Do These 7 Things to Prepare Yourself For The Next Crypto Boom

Get your money up
You can’t “blow” with crypto in the true sense of it if you don’t have money to put in. So get the bag, stack up your cash, and get ready to lambo. If you don’t know what that means, You’re NGMI.

Learn about it
If you’ll make any money from crypto, you should at least know what it is. Do your research so the money you’re investing doesn’t turn into school fees for not knowing what you should know.

Find friends to invest with
You can’t find all the good stuff alone, so you need your friends to get into crypto with you. Where’s the joy in “blowing” alone anyway?

Have a strong mind
Crypto can be volatile, so you need to be the kind of person who won’t burst into tears after seeing their money drop 50% in one day. Because it can also do a backflip and turn into 100% in one night.

Buy the dip
Things are cheap now, and it’s the best time to get in. You don’t want to start running helter-skelter when people start screaming “To the moon!”.

Wait it out
You’re not going to blow in one day. So after putting money in, you still have to wait for the bull run to carry you “trabaye” like Asake said.

Use a good exchange to keep your coins safe
Safety is the most important thing in crypto. If you lose your coins, you lose everything. You need an exchange that won’t stress your life as you’re trying to lambo, and that’s where Bundle comes in. Bundle allows you to easily buy and trade over 80 cryptocurrencies, from Bitcoin to Ethereum and SHIBA. All you have to do is download the app and sign up to get started.

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7 Reasons Why Money Is Not a Bad Way to Start Relationships

Come on, it’s money
First of all, it’s money. You can spend it, save it, invest it, use it to travel, use it to eat, or anything. Why will you choose not to take it if it’s offered in a relationship?

Enjoyment is assured
There’s no medal for suffering in this life and money is the strongest cure for it. So start your relationship based on money so your softness is assured.

It’s another source of income
Everyone needs a side hustle these days, and if your relationship is not filling that income gap, what are you really doing?

The economy is already bad
Everything is expensive in this economy and relationships are not an exception. If you’re entering one without money, you shall see shege.

It can help you prevent see-finish
Just imagine not having vex money when something goes wrong in your relationship. Embarrassing right? See finish will set in and there’ll be nothing you can do. But money solves this very easily.

The relationship is just sweeter with money
Unless your only love language is words of affirmation, your relationship needs money for it to even be sweet at all. Whether it’s a simple gift or a grand romantic gesture, money is involved. See why money should be your number one priority?

And it’s not even limited to romantic relationships
The good part is, it’s not even limited to romance. Even people in the streets need money for their situationships. Friendships and business relationships need money too. And that’s why Carbon wants to start its relationship with you with a ₦30k loan. What’s even better is that it’s only the beginning, you’ll get to enjoy awesome digital banking services and unlock higher loan limits along the way.

Already thinking of how to secure this urgent ₦30k and still get an awesome relationship afterwards? Just download the Carbon app and sign up to get started

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“You Can’t Even Afford Me” — ₦400k Salary Finally Speaks Up

“Just don’t take me to Lagos”
The first thing ₦400k salary told us is that it’s allergic to Lagos. All its problems seem to start once it enters that city.

“If you must, carry me somewhere cheap”
It specifically mentioned the mainland and Ikorodu.

Treat me with care
You people scream “be kind” every day, but you don’t practice what you preach. Have you thought about its feelings?

I don’t do well with baddies
We stan a salary that knows its boundaries.

“Look at me now. Am I not enough?”
Who knew ₦400k salary also watches BBNaija?

“Half of you guys can’t even afford Chicken Republic refuel max, but you think you can afford me?”
That’s a little classist, but very Nigerian of ₦400k.

“Inflation, you do this one”
To be fair, inflation is who we need to drag like small gen.

“I be Idan too, I be boss”
It might be big for nothing, but it’s still hard to get, please.

“Buhari, you will crumble for this disgrace”
And to that, we say, “Amen!”

NEXT READ: Interview With the Naira: “Just Add a Little Yeast”
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How to Get Into Product Marketing as a Newbie

Every week, Zikoko will share the hustle stories of Nigerians making it big in and out of the country. With each story, we’ll ask one crucial question in several ways: “How you do am?”
Daniel Orubo’s hustle story took us through his transition from the media industry to tech product marketing, but how do you start a product marketing career as a JJC? That’s why we’ve made this guide.

Image: Pexels
Who is a product marketer?
From the title, product marketers are responsible for selling and promoting the features of a particular product to a target audience. They use processes such as product positioning, messaging, pricing and go-to-market roadmaps to drive the demand and usage of the product.
To put it simply, their job is to carry their products on their head.

What do they do?
So, we already know that the core of the product marketer’s job is to sell their product, but how exactly does this happen? Every organisation worth its salt knows product marketers are critical to the business’s goals, and they do this via:
- Product messaging and positioning: Product marketers are necessary before, during and after a product’s launch. They analyse the customer’s needs — basically serving as the customer’s voice — and determine gaps to ensure the product’s features take the customer’s needs and feedback into account when releasing product updates and improvements.
- Managing product launches: The product marketer also uses insights they get from customer and market research, as well as competitor analysis, to capture the best strategy and work required to successfully launch the product.
- Product roadmap planning: Throughout the product’s lifespan, the product marketer will need to consider a number of questions, such as:
- What are the tasks required to ensure the product launches on the decided date?
- What are the content marketing and storytelling tactics required to properly position the product before, during and after the launch? What are the sales and revenues goals?
- How are customers going to be onboarded?
In summary, everything related to making the product a success is the product marketer’s top priority.
- Liaising with other members of the product team: The product marketer doesn’t work alone. More often than not, they work in tandem with the sales, marketing and product development team — including tech, if applicable. Imagine the product marketer promising the customer one thing and the tech team doing something entirely different. That’s why alignment is key.
No one:
Other members of the product team:

Yeah, we don’t want that.
[ad][/ad]
What skills do product marketers need?
A degree in marketing is beneficial, but many product marketers do without. However, you’d need to take relevant product marketing courses like Daniel did, to learn about the various tactics, strategies and research skills needed to succeed in this role.
Some major hard skills necessary for this career path include writing, presentation, well-honed marketing skills and an understanding of business basics, as you’ll need to understand revenue projections, business metrics and a bit of financial planning.
In the soft skills aspect, strategic thinking ranks high. Product marketers are always thinking about strategies, roadmaps and the market in general, so you’d need to know how to think logically.

Other important soft skills include creativity, an ability to prioritise, communication, advocacy, and a passion for solving customers’ problems.
Are they like normal marketers?
Not really. While traditional marketing focuses on driving demand and creating brand awareness, product marketing doesn’t end at acquisition, or “the sale”. Product marketing also includes product positioning, customer onboarding and ensuring retention.
For example, a marketer can rent a billboard to tell you that ponmo is available, and you need to come and buy. But a product marketer goes forward to add you to ponmo support group, get your feedback on the ponmo, create new ponmo dishes and basically make you see why you should keep eating ponmo, and possibly upgrade to the special ponmo dishes.
So, where can product marketers work?
At the risk of sounding like a Nigerian lecturer, product marketers can work in any organisation that has a product to sell, especially in tech, banking, and media. You just need to know as much as possible about the product, target customers and the general market.

How organisations will look at you
How much do product marketers earn?
Earning power in this field depends on several factors like experience, industry and organisation, but a product marketer can earn an average of ₦400k per month.
For newbies, it’s advisable to join product marketing communities to get a good grasp of what other professionals earn, find mentorship opportunities, and grow professionally.
NEXT READ: How to Secure Your Tech Bag as a Software Engineer
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You Can Make It With Crypto If you Do These 7 Things

Pay your house rent first
There’s a good chance you’ll lose all your money and end up sleeping under a bridge somewhere. Pay your rent in advance so you don’t see shege.
Have one last look at your pocket
Whether you actually hammer or not, your pocket will never remain the same. Take one last look at it and savour the moment.
Only invest what you can afford to lose
If you think sleeping under a bridge is too harsh, and you want to avoid stories that touch, don’t invest more than you’re ready to lose.
Start famzing crypto Twitter
Now that you have your crypto school fees in one hand, the next step is to join crypto Twitter. Steal a picture of a cartoon ape and use it as your profile picture. Change your username to “kinikan.eth”, start looking for similar accounts, and one by one, your brethren will find you.
Learn the language
Crypto Twitter has many abbreviations and you need to learn all of them. “GM” is “good morning”, HFSP is “Have fun staying poor” and “WAGMI” means “We’re all gonna make it”. If you enter crypto without knowing the language, you’re not going to make it.
Learn how crypto works
Before you actually put your money into it, learn how crypto works so you don’t get rug-pulled or watch your money go up in flames. We heard Luno has a lot of learning resources to help you get into crypto like a pro.
Use a good exchange to buy your first crypto
You can’t hammer if you keep your money in a place that gives you sleepless nights. Find a crypto exchange that allows you to buy the best coins easily. Luno is a good example. It lets you buy Bitcoin, Ethereum, Litecoin and other cryptocurrencies as easily as cooking noodles. Download the app and sign up to get started.
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How to Cosplay as a Rich Nigerian

Develop an accent
Your Nigerian accent is too razz for the level of wealth you’re trying to project. You need to develop an accent, preferably British, to give off enough old-money energy.
Wear a boubou/kaftan everywhere
This needs to become your uniform. Inside, outside, everywhere you go. Also, make sure you always have dark shades on to stay mysterious.
Image credit: Afrikrea
“Do you know who I am?”
It’s important to respond to every random situation with this question because people do, in fact, need to know who you are — a rich Nigerian.
Carry a portable fan everywhere
Heat might be killing everyone else in the country but certainly not you. You’re rich, so of course, you can’t be suffering like a common man. To make your statement even clearer, use one of those uncommon designs.
Also, use a cab service to go everywhere
You can never catch a rich man sweating inside a danfo. So why would you be taking public transportation? No, that’s off-brand.

Invest all your money in perfumes
You need to have all your bases covered, and one way to do that is by smelling expensive.
Or spend it all on skin and self-care
Sunburn is for the poor, my dear. It also doesn’t matter that you’ll be spending twice your monthly income on a new wig. Self-care is important, and your account balance shouldn’t get in the way of it.
And expensive designer items
Made in Aba or gotten off AliExpress; designer items are designer items. As long as they didn’t write Cavlin Rlein on that shirt, buy it.
Have like one million debit cards
It doesn’t matter if your entire net worth is ₦5k. Having many debit cards is a signal to people paying attention that your money is long.
Your car key must always be in your hands
It doesn’t matter that you have a pocket or keychain to hang it on. Have people seen your Benz that’s not really your Benz? That’s the main question, and it’s why your car key needs to be in your hands at all times. In fact, jiggle it to catch even more attention.
Burn all your savings on club memberships
Lagos Polo Club? Ikoyi Club? Join them all. Don’t mind the huge membership fees because it’s all an investment. By the time you start rubbing shoulders with actual rich people, your cosplay is complete. What’s remaining after that?
NEXT READ: 8 Ways To Manifest Wealth
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A Monthly Public Holiday Would Increase Productivity. Here’s Why

It’s about a week to Easter, and while 9-5ers everywhere are whispering a collective thank you to the god of public holidays, I’m wondering, “Why do we have to wait four months for a public holiday?”
Well, I’m here to preach the gospel of monthly public holidays to boost productivity, and these seven reasons will convince you too.
We see too much shege
Nigerians living in Nigeria are exposed to a unique brand of shege every month. If it’s not electricity issues, it’s using more money to buy your own money, or chopping disgrace at the hands of Nigerian banks. The point is, we don’t just go through a lot, we’re always in a lot. How can we get any work done when our heads are always hot?
We’ll need more money
More public holidays equal more time and money spent on fun, outside activities. We’ll go broke faster and need to work even more to get more money to spend again. Vicious cycle, but at least, it works for capitalism.
Less time spent dreaming of public holidays
Listen, every 9-5er dreams about the next public holiday, at least once every week, and that translates to precious man hours wasted. If we knew the next holiday was coming soon, we wouldn’t dream about it too much.
Weekends are a joke
How does working for five days and “resting” for two make sense to anyone? It’s giving slavery, and our ancestors already went through that. Plus, no one actually gets to rest fully on the weekends. If you want us to work, allow us to recharge properly.
We’d tell fewer lies
Not that I have any experience in this, but some people take “sick” leave just to stay away from work for a bit. If we had more holidays, we’d spend less time looking for creative lies to tell just to rest.
We might actually look forward to working
Who knows, maybe knowing a holiday is just around the corner is the push some of us need to do more than open two emails every day.
Even generators need servicing
You wouldn’t leave your generator on for three months without stopping to service it, would you? Then, why do it to human beings? Is it a crime to be an adult in this country?
NEXT READ: Only People With These 7 Jobs Are Safe From the AI Takeover
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QUIZ: How Much Money Actually Fits Your Personality?

₦2k or ₦30 billion? How much money will fit you? Take this quiz and we’ll let you know.
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According to Nigerians, These Alternative Careers Are Money Spinners

Times are changing, but we all still need to make money. Because some people seem to figure out how to cash out faster than others, we’ve gone out of our way to find and question them. They told us these seven careers are sure money spinners.
Prayer warrior
Don’t you know that prayers work wonders, and it can be a full-time job? If you had a new naira note for every time a rich Nigerian answered “Na God” after being asked for the source of their wealth, you’d be rich too.
Content creator
How many Instagram posts of content creators buying Benz and houses do you need to see before you know you should drop your 9-5 and start making skits?
Political influencer
This one will feed you, your family and your village people. The only thing you have to give in exchange is your conscience. Small price to pay.
POS attendant
Tech bros have nothing on POS attendants now. The one and only bureau de change that deals in naira to naira and takes a huge cut. How can you not respect their name?
Being in a relationship
Relationships are lucrative right now, but you can’t have a vanilla label like boyfriend or girlfriend. That’s too basic. You either want to be a glucose boy or a soft babe. Who wants to work for money when someone else can pay you to date them?
Hard work
Ask every single Nigerian billionaire what they did, and they’ll tell you they worked hard. Maybe it’s time you started working hard too.
Gift vendor
We heard they made bank on Valentine’s Day, but that’s not all. They make bank every day of the year. People want to impress their partners with gifts and need vendors. Step in and get the bag.
Owambe hypeman
Who wouldn’t want to praise people at a party? They’d spray you with loads of cool cash just to hype them up while they dance away their savings. Why would anyone choose a regular 9 to 5 over this.
NEXT READ: 7 Ways To Make Money Without Working For It
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Sunken Ships: I Stopped Talking to Her Because She Was Broke

Yinka* (27), the subject of this week’s Sunken Ships, reduced her friend group from four to three girls, after cutting one off for constantly feeling entitled to their money and trying to garner pity by emphasising how much less than them she earned.
Talk to me
Yinka: I once cut off a friend because she was broke.
Ah
Yinka: When I say it like that it sounds terrible, but it was more than that. She was very annoying because she was broke.
Please explain
Yinka: So we’re a group of four babes who went to the same university. Me and Uche were roommates in 2015, so we knew each other longer. The third, Toyin, was a coursemate of mine I got close to later that year, and the fourth, Halima, we met at a party in 2016. It’s been the four of us since then.
We made promises to each other that we’d always stay in touch. We envisioned a life that allowed us to travel and wear expensive clothes like the girls we saw in magazines. It’s not like it was impossible. All of us came from middle class families so the plan was to build on what we already have.
How did that work out?
Yinka: Not so well in the beginning. We left school in 2017, and it was bad job after bad job for all of us. Add in some failed businesses and investments and it was a disaster. Life was hitting us back-to- back.
Damn
Yinka: Things didn’t start looking up until the middle of 2018. I got a new job and so did Halima. Uche decided that a 9-5 wasn’t for her and started her own business, and Toyin got a promotion at her job. It was great.
RELATED: Sunken Ships: I Wasn’t Her Emergency Wallet
What made it so great?
Yinka: We could finally do some of the things we’d planned to do since we were in university. We started going to parties together and buying tables, planning vacations within Nigeria and having movie nights in our houses. It wasn’t big things, but it was great.
We also got to show up for each other in better ways. We’d give each other expensive bags and household items for birthdays and other important dates. I loved how our sisterhood improved when we had money.
But nobody sounds broke here
Yinka: That’s the thing. Being broke is a state of mind for some people, and Toyin was one of such people. As the years went on, we started making even more money. We really poured a lot of what we had into our work and it showed great results. However, since all fingers aren’t equal, some people earned more than others. As at 2021, Toyin earned the least.
We never brought up it, but she did. Constantly. We’d go out for dinner and Toyin would automatically declare that we shouldn’t expect anything from her since we’re the rich ones. It was ridiculous because someone would’ve already said the meal was on them before we even went to the restaurant.
Other times, it’s when we wanted to contribute money for a gift for one of us. She would start complaining that we’re giving gifts that are too expensive. She’d borrow money from us and never pay back, collect all our expensive items and never replace them. We didn’t understand what was going on.
What if she was struggling?
Yinka: We asked her about work and even offered help on many occasions, but she just acted weird about it. It almost always ended up in an argument where she hinted we were calling her poor.
We once gifted her six months rent so she could at least save the rent money for something else. But throughout that period, she still made weird jokes about how much less she earned and stuff. I started to think she preferred that both her money and ours was spent on her alone. But it’s not how friendship works.
Did you ever talk to her about it?
Yinka: I did towards the end of 2021. My other friends are very soft people. I’m the more direct one about things like this, maybe because I’m an aries. I pulled her aside once and told her the jokes were weird. It’s not like she even earned much less than we did. It was just a small margin, but she kept trying to make it as though she were dirt poor.
What happened next?
Yinka: She flared up and told me I was wicked. This led to her kind of withdrawing from the group and I just stopped talking to her completely. We still talk to her as a group, buy her gifts, send her flowers and stuff, but for me to text her personally? Not at all.
Her attitude to earning less was the problem. We didn’t mind giving. She just seemed too entitled to it.
RELATED: Sunken Ships: I Was Too Much of a Bad Bitch for Him
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QUIZ: How Much Money Will You Find on the Floor Today?

You know what type of money slaps best? Money you didn’t work for, but not just any type, the one you find on the floor. Take this quiz before you go out today and see how much the universe is sending your way.
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QUIZ: Plan a Valentine’s Date and We’ll Reveal Your Spender Type

How much would you spend to impress a love interest? Are you the type that makes it rain, or do you keep a close eye on your account balance?
Take the quiz and we’ll reveal your love spender type.
PS: There are freebies at the end. 😉
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Everyone in Nigeria Is a Victim of These 10 Scams

If there’s anything Nigerians pride themselves in, it’s the ability to ‘tear eye’ and not be taken for a ride. But sometimes, things happen, and you realise you’ve been lied to, scammed, hoodwinked, bamboozled.
The truth is, with these ten things, you’re not the bad guy you think you are. Someone is using you and your money to catch serious cruise.
Bubu, the bad boy
Number one on the list. Because why is the president of an entire nation going up and down, cosplaying Ajala the traveller? Why is big daddy B giving us snapchat filtered money instead of the better economy he promised?
Paying VAT at restaurants
They say it’s value-added tax, but value added to what and why?
The new naira notes
A moment of silence for the old naira notes, please. They’ll be sorely missed. Now, to these powerpuff girls notes Meffy baby decided to make. No redesign, no nothing, just colouring pencil and vibes of the highest order.
Bank charges
It doesn’t matter if the charges are for ATM card maintenance or SMS, or simply moving your money around a bit. Your bank charging you ₦50 now and again cannot be normal.
Health insurance
Yes, you’re insuring your health, but what does that really mean? You’re basically placing a bet and playing 2-odds every month. Will I fall sick? Will I not fall sick?
Lagos nightlife
Between the overpriced everything and the unnecessary body contact in this Rona’s era, it’s too much of a high risk, low reward. Yes, you had a good-ass time, but now, you’re clutching your head from a hangover, red account balance and that loud-ass music, and for what?
RECOMMENDED: When We Say Eat the Rich, These Are the People We’re Talking About
Chapman at restaurants
Honestly, all the drinks at restaurants are scams, but the Chapman has to be the worst. ₦3k – ₦5k on a cup filled with ice, a quarter of a lemon and a ₦150 bottle of Chapman? Is my daddy Dangote?
Instagram ‘thrift’ stores
It’s the rebrand for us because why do we have to fork out ₦3k and above for one okrika dress?
The price of bras
You didn’t ask your titties to titty the way they do. Even if you did, why do you have to pay with your blood and sweat just to buy a bra that loves them the way it’s supposed to?
Weddings
We should abolish weddings. You have to pay extra for regular makeup and gele because you’re getting married? Then you’ll still entertain your guests by dancing like you’re at a children’s party? Absolutely not.
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Introducing Hustleprint: What Does it Mean to Hustle?

Every Tuesday at 12 p.m. WAT, Zikoko will share the hustle stories of Nigerians making it big in and out of the country. With each story, we’ll ask one crucial question in several ways: “How you do am?”

Hustle is a brick, solid word that chased me through childhood. Whoever was hustling was someone to be like. They were grinding, “putting food on the table”. The hairdresser with the matchbox shop behind my house was a hustler. Each month when I went for my hair retouch, her shop was full of women who had problems with their hair or their men — and they all paid for her time. The barber across the street that married my aunt was a hustler. He was one of the first to get a Tiger generator on the street.
Hustle is a word that grows with you. Once it’s big enough, it climbs on your lap and holds tight, forcing your attention on it. “You must do me,” it says. Because you’re an adult now. And it knows what adults do to feel like adults. You must hustle.

I felt the weight of hustle for the first time after university. I’d just graduated with a second-class lower, unsure what to do next. I knew what I wanted. I’d felt my mouth water when I found a good sentence in a book enough times to be certain my life would revolve around books. But with a dad at home waiting for the fruits of his 20-year-old labour and a degree that questioned my last four years, I didn’t know what my next step was.
You’ve probably had a phase where you didn’t know what to do. Deciding what to have for breakfast, whether to chase a master’s or stay at your job, japa to an unknown country for better alternatives or stay where you’re comfortable.
Tega was thinking about this problem when she decided we should talk to people who were having trouble making career decisions — who specifically didn’t know what to do when they were interested in a field or wanted to move to a new one.

Contemplating how to own a rice farm, produce a movie and open a craft beer company in one year How do you start a food business in a new city? How do you become a Nollywood star? We’re speaking to people who’ve done it and creating helpful guides using these conversations, for you.

Read the first story when you click this Hustleprint stories will drop biweekly from today, Tuesday, January 31st, 2023, at 12 p.m. WAT, and Hustleprint guides will drop in the interim weeks.
So you can follow each drop, Hustleprint will be published in our money newsletter.
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Doctor by Day, Nollywood Sweetheart by Night, How She Do Am?

Every week, Zikoko will share the hustle stories of Nigerians making it big in and out of the country. With each story, we’ll ask one crucial question in several ways: “How you do am?”
Jemima Osunde is a 26-year-old physiotherapist and actress. Fed up with the chaos of medical school, Jemima decided to pursue acting on the side. She called her big break pure luck, but through her story, we found out what it’s like to hustle as a newbie in Nollywood.

Jemima Osunde – Hustleprint So Jemima, how did you do it?
I always tell people acting happened to me randomly. Physiotherapy was what I wanted to do. Things started in my first year at UNILAG in 2013. Post-JAMB messed up my grades, so I took a diploma program to get into 200 level the next year. Anyone who knows what UNILAG’s diploma is like knows it can be chaotic.
How chaotic was it, on a scale of 1-10?
Hmm. We’d be like 200 in one hall with no power. Lecturers would yell at the top of their lungs at the front of the hall, doing their best, but only the first 50 people could hear them. The rest of us were just there to sign attendance and fulfil all righteousness by being there.
So it broke the scale?
LOL. Yeah.
I did that for a few weeks and knew it couldn’t be my life for the rest of the year. That Christmas, I was at an uncle’s party, and we talked about how school was going. He suggested I consider acting since I was always talking everyone’s ear off. He felt it was a good way to make some money or just occupy my time.
What did you think?
It made sense actually. His words got stuck in my head for weeks. And after my next horrible day at school, I decided to experiment with acting while I was trying to get into the College of Medicine for my second year at UNILAG.
What was the first thing you did while experimenting?
I started following Nigerian production houses on social media and discovered that they usually posted open audition calls. It just made sense to me that to start acting I had to audition for roles, so I followed everyone from Africa Magic to EbonyLife. I followed producers too; from one producer’s page, I’d find another to follow.
Then, I followed young actors of that period. When I started, there was Olumide Oworu, Owumi Ugbeye who’d been on MTV Shuga — I just kept following everybody so I’d see every audition notice going out. Even though I didn’t immediately get roles, I learnt a lot from attending auditions and mingling with other aspiring actors who knew more than me. They’d give me the gist on what to do, what to look out for, who to meet and so on.
How did all of that play out in landing your first role?
I saw an audition notice for Tinsel in 2013. I didn’t get the part, but I got called back for Africa Magic Original Films [AMOF].
When I saw the email, I actually thought it was a scam because I hadn’t heard of AMOF or attended an audition for it. I had to call one of my uncles in the industry to verify. Then I had my mum come with me for the first few reads — till today, crew members at different sets still ask me about her.
I worked on five or six AMOFs. And through them, I got on The Johnsons, guest-starring in a few episodes as the character, Abby. These first few acting experiences were an exciting adventure for my mum and I. My parents used to drive me around to set locations.
What would you consider your big break into the acting industry?
MTV Shuga in 2014. I was 18 at the time so bagging my role as Leila on a show that big at the beginning of my career was significant for me.
How did that big break happen?
One of the actresses I followed at the start of my career and I were working on a film together. In passing, I said I really liked her character on MTV Shuga, and it’d be nice if it had a new character I could play. Like two days later, she texted about an audition and asked me to send my details to an email address. I did that, got a reply and went in for a reading. In a matter of three or four days, I was cast as Leila.
Just like that? Did you have any formal training as an actor?
No. Honestly, I was lucky.
That’s pretty much how things started for me. I only had to do three or four open auditions after Shuga.
Wait first. How was school going?
For some reason, most of my auditions were in Surulere, Lagos, so it wasn’t hard to go for them from the College of Medicine. Max, one bus, one okada, and I’d be at any casting.
It sounds like you were living a soft life
LOL. Not on the days I had to find my way to Ikeja or Lekki though. I’d get to Ojuelegba underbridge and be clueless. Or sit in a bus and wait for it to get full before my 10 a.m. call. That’s when I started to get frustrated. I had to beg my parents to drive me to auditions until I could afford to take Uber.
What’s the average amount of time you’d spend on set?
For movies, two weeks at most, and I’d be on set ten out of 14 days. We’d shoot until we stopped, which meant several hours of shooting per day.
Only Shuga took longer than a month to shoot. I was in one season each, on the Naija version and on Down South. I was on set every other day for three weeks for the first, and in Jo’burg for five to six weeks for the second.
How did things change after Shuga?
I kept grinding in between filming. I had a 9-to-5 as a researcher at One Music, and I was still a student at the College of Medicine. It was really hard to keep up. I was also just figuring out my life as a teenager, making friends — which didn’t quite work out because I don’t have many friends. Then I was always sending emails and DMs to every big director and producer I admired, even Shonda Rhimes!
But I got to a point where people would send me emails asking me to audition. A few months after we finished shooting Shuga, one of the producers cast me in her short film. Some months after that, I got calls from people I’d worked with on the set or I’d emailed earlier, who realised they had a role I was a good fit for.
I moved from needing to attend open auditions to being invited for table reads or screen tests. Instead of walking in with 500 people hoping to get a role, I scaled through to a more selected phase with maybe 20 people.
Were the chances of getting a role much higher in a table read or screen test?
Pretty much, but other upcoming actors get this access too. That makes it more competitive because you have to show what makes you special. Like why should it be Jemima and not the 20 other girls they know could play the character well too?
And did you have an answer to that?
For me, it was talking to the right people. People you work with mention your name in the right rooms.
Every time I got on set, I made sure I interacted with the crew members, not just the actors. There’s a vast amount of knowledge you can get from them because production typically uses the same crew. These people have gone from one project to another amassing experience. I always stress them out with questions about things like cameras and lenses. And that’s one way to get informal training.
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What’s another?
Imagine being on a set with Kate Henshaw or Stella Damasus and not learning anything. I don’t have any shame in asking for help when I can’t connect with a character, for example. I remember meeting Adesua (Etomi-Wellington) on the set of MTV Shuga. We instantly clicked, and she’s been a strong support system ever since. She saw I was a young girl just trying to navigate the industry and could sense my silent cry for guidance, so she took me under her wing.
She was fairly new to Nollywood, but she’d been doing theatre and a bunch of creative projects in the UK. She’d ask things like, “What do you think should be a priority at the beginning of your career?” “What are you trying to do?” and just genuinely be a friend I can call anytime. It’s necessary to surround yourself with good people who’ll keep you grounded and remind you of your purpose even when you forget. That’s who she is to me. Our relationship has just evolved and metamorphosed into many different things over the years.
I don’t think I could’ve come this far without the older women in the industry TBH. They tell you what they went through in old Nollywood and ways to skip all the stress.
And younger actresses?
There’s a bunch of us that know we fall into the same criteria. If they’re not casting me then it’s Sharon Ooja, Tomike Alayande, Ini Dima-Okojie or maybe Efe Irele and a couple of others. It’s an unspoken thing, but we know ourselves. When a job comes, and one person isn’t available or interested, we refer each other.
How do you manage the competition since you all fall into the same category?
Being friends helps. My girls know how to stick together. And to make sure no one is getting the short end of the stick when jobs come. We know that for certain gigs within a certain duration, there’s a flat rate. No one goes below it. We basically set the standard for ourselves.
Beyond networking, what skills did you have to pick up fast as your career took off with MTV Shuga?
Omo, so many things. I didn’t get a representative until 2020, so I had to learn how to multitask on a large scale. Sometimes, I had classes from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m., with a call time at 2 p.m. and Lagos traffic to beat. So if I allocate one hour to something, and someone shows up 30 minutes late, that’s not my business. In my head, I have 30 minutes left. Till today, I’m still my own manager.
With the way things were going, why not just focus on acting?
In Nigeria, acting can’t be the only thing you do for income and fulfilment. How many good films do we make in a year compared to the number of actors we have? You can’t be busy from January to December.
Fair point
Yeah. Getting to MTV Shuga took a year. For me, it didn’t feel like such a long time because school kept me busy. If acting were all I had, that would’ve been difficult.
What happens when absolutely nothing works?
That happened to me during the pandemic. I had to find ways to keep myself busy. That’s why I started a music trivia game on Instagram. But I also tried to get roles on TV series so I could shoot weekly, like a monthly subscription to being an actress.
Let’s move to the medical side of things. Are you currently practising?
Not for the past two months. I finished my NYSC in the first quarter of 2022 and took a break. Medical work in Nigeria is the ghetto. If you know people in the medical field, check up on them. Na them need mental help pass.
LOL. What’s doing them?
It’s so much work for such little pay and zero recognition. I’m at the point where I want to do it voluntarily, pick a few hospitals I’ll work at on the days I’m not filming. But for now, I’m on a break.
I’m curious: how has being a health worker made you a better actress?
Outside handling financial stress, the toughest part of being a health worker is seeing people die every day. Somehow, that’s helped me get into character without being so attached to the trauma I play, since it’s all fiction. It’s much more difficult when you actually know the person in reality.
And how does it work the other way around?
I’ve never thought about that. I think acting makes me a lot more sensitive and empathetic. Treating someone is very different from being able to become that person in your head and possibly picture your life like that.
Best in acting
LOL. So even when I want to lose my cool with their family members — because patients are never really the issue — I can somehow put myself in their shoes. I guess that’s one of the ways being an actress helps my medical career.
How do you manage to keep both careers apart?
I don’t keep them apart o. My self-given nickname is “one true self”. I’m an acting physiotherapist, doctor-actress, health worker-entertainer, whatever version people prefer. I’m one person living the best of both worlds, that’s what makes me who I am. I’m currently doing a Master’s in Public Health, and people like to ask me what I need it for. I don’t have an answer for them. They should just watch and see.
And how do you handle people recognising you when you’re in hospital mode?
I actually prefer when people recognise me in the hospital than outside, on the streets, in the supermarket. It helps me cheer my patients up. It makes it easier to find a common ground with them, which is important in my line of health work. Apart from that, I’m a very public but private person. You’ll see me banter a lot on Twitter, or post random things when I’m in my lover girl stage, but I’m very deliberate with the details I share.
What’s a trick every newbie needs to learn in the film industry?
Characters become more challenging when you realise they’re not fictional. Anyone can read a script and have a flow. But sometimes, you have to create a backstory that helps you connect more with the character. That’s not something on a script. And that’s what some directors tell you to do, to actually become a character.
What were some roles that put you to the test?
There was Nkem, the sex worker I played in The Delivery Boy in 2018. But one of the toughest characters I’ve played is Ranti from Rumour Has It in 2016. The babe was mean and controversial. I couldn’t play her until I could come up with a reason why someone could deliberately publish horrible stuff about their friends on a blog. Though there’s no justifiable reason to hurt people, giving her a defendable backstory helped me embody her character better. And that process makes it easier to get into challenging roles.
I have to ask: what does it take to get to the level you’re at in the industry?
Quality over quantity of films you shoot. And that’s why you need an extra source of income. But the best advice I received as a newbie was, “Never be afraid to take multiple cuts.” Because even when you think it’s perfect, a scene can always be better.
How do you know when to stop then?
Sometimes, you just need to take multiple cuts to give the director different portrayal versions to choose from. You know when to stop by reading the room. People on set — the director, cinematographer, DOP — are very honest. If the cut is just there, it’d show on their faces. Or you could get a standing ovation because the take was just that good. You don’t have to wait for an ovation, but make sure everyone is satisfied before you stop. They’d even be the ones to reassure you that you don’t need another take.

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How to Find a Sugar Mummy Before You’re Old Enough to Be a Sugar Daddy

Life is hard, but life in Nigeria is harder. When we’re not out here fighting for our lives in the name of finding work-life balance, we’re dealing with prices that rise like garri while our salaries continue to unlook. So how does a Nigerian man make it in these streets? It’s time to start spending someone else’s money; it’s time to find a sugar mummy.
If you’re serious about joining me on this mission, these are some tried and trusted ways to find your true motherly queen before you’re too old to be a sugar baby.
Make sure you’re good in bed
If you’re still grunting after ten decent thrusts, this career may not be for you. Read this article on how to make a Nigerian girl fall in love with you instead because only women in love can tolerate one-round men.
Sugar mummies are paying you to lay pipe, so you better be the best goddamn pipe layer in your local government area. They’re not like sugar daddies that you’ll rub their head small, and they’ll lose guard.
Find rich friends
You see that guy in the club that does dorime with Azul every Friday? Yes, the one from a wealthy family. It’s time to kiss his bum bum with vim until he becomes your friend. Convince him to invite you into his home, and when no one notices, cut eye for his mother. Sugar mummy secured.
Start hunting on Facebook
Are you still looking for a sugar mummy on Twitter and Instagram? You’re clearly not a serious fellow. Facebook is where the real money is. Transfer all your thirst traps and gym pictures to Facebook and allow Mark Zuckerberg to handle the rest. You’ll be swimming in sugar mummy requests before you know it.
Pray about it
What God cannot do does not exist, and that’s on period. If you’re serious about landing a sugar mummy, you’d get on your knees right now and lift your eyes to the hills because prayer is the master key. Also, try to be active in church because that’s the only place you can find a God-fearing sugar mummy who won’t use you for rituals.
Use juju as backup
Are you using Glo or Etisalat and struggling to send a message to heaven? Don’t worry. Investing in a local babalawo as a backup plan is the way to go. Tie your red wrapper, drop that boiled yam and palm oil at the T-junction, collect your love potion and trap the sugar mummy of your choice in a groundnut bottle. Easy as ABC if you ask me.

Invest in trad and deadly ouds
You can’t keep dressing like an alté rapper with baggy trousers and think you’ll land a premium sugar mummy. These days, they want to be seen with men they can introduce as their assistants or business partners, so do the right thing and invest in trad. Package yourself. Also, cover yourself in the most masculine oud you can find, so your sugar mummy can smell you from a mile away.
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Moonlight as a personal trainer or massage therapist
I don’t even have to say much about this one. The more packs you have, the more your chances of being sold on sugar mummy AliExpress.
Stop chasing small girls
You can’t be out here looking for a sugar mummy and chasing that hot babe from Instagram at the same time. My man, whoever said you could have it all clearly lied to you. Please, put all your eggs in the sugar mummy basket and focus.
Attend more funerals and weddings
You won’t find a sugar mummy in the club or South Socials, but best believe you’ll see them at weddings and burials. Anywhere you see two or more canopies, know there’s a high chance you’ll find a sugar mummy there. But make sure you go to events thrown by rich people, so you don’t end up with a sugar mummy who wants to soak garri with you.
Know one or two things about technology
Who’s going to help your sugar mummy update her WhatsApp? These are the important issues. Once you show one or two “mummies” that you know how to upgrade their iPhone ioS, it’ll be hard for them not to welcome you with open arms.
Start a business
Sugar mummy or not, women like men who are passionate about something, or at least pretend to be. Start a barbing salon or start selling bespoke trad, just make sure you have a business registered under your name, so you can look serious. How can your sugar mummy “support your business” if there’s no business in the first place?
ALSO READ: 6 Signs That Show You’re Going To Become A Sugar Daddy
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How to Make Your Work Spouse Your Actual Spouse

So you finally found a way to get your work crush to promote you from colleague to work wife/husband, but like a typical Oliver Twist, you want more.
TBH, I’m not judging. Anyone can catch feelings. Obviously, you have, and now, you want to leave the work-bae zone. Let me help you.
Find them on social media
Many people block their coworkers on social media, so you’ll have to put on your best Fashola Holmes impression. If that fails, find a way to get them to give you their WhatsApp number, then send them memes every day. They’ll fall in love with how funny you are.
Buy them food
Food is the way to everyone’s heart. But don’t buy them food only at work. Invite them out.
Move in close to them
If they’re proving stubborn, get their house address from HR and move in right next to them. Now, you won’t just be in their faces from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. anymore.
Oh. Hi! Didn’t see you there
Make sure they see you everywhere
Since you now know their address, set up billboards with your face on them around the route they take to work daily. Buy them mugs with your face on them too. By the time they see you every day, the feelings will be activated.
Make their significant other disappear
Arrange for their partner to be kidnapped by ungun known men. Then be a shoulder to lean on when they cry to you about it at work. It’s the price to pay for love.
Or make the partner cheat
If you don’t want to go as far as kidnapping, find a way to make your work spouse’s partner cheat then show them the evidence. Of course, you’ll also be there to help them heal and forget the heartbreak.
Carry their picture to the mountain
If you’re religious, then you should know prayer works. Take their picture to a mountain, preferably in the dead of night with only a white wrapper around you. The white colour will catch the attention of the spirits, and they’ll answer you immediately.
Resign from your workplace
Maybe the reason they’ve not promoted you to actual spouse is simply because they don’t want to date their coworker. Resign and that problem is solved.
Or make them lose their job
The point is you won’t be working in the same place anymore. The end justifies the means.
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QUIZ: What Will You Spend Your January Salary On?

Even after waiting so long for January salary, we all know it won’t last. Take this quiz and we’ll tell you what will finish your money.
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7 Things Every Creative Can Take Away From the Sessions at FITCC

Last year November, the Fidelity International Trade & Creative Connect (FITCC) created a panel of Nigerian creatives, to discuss:
-Exploring Co-creation and Partnerships with Nigeria-Diaspora Creatives
-Tapping the Diaspora Resource Pool to Unlock Opportunities in the Nigerian Creative Economy

These are seven important lessons we learnt during both sessions:
Continue to put yourself out there
Promote yourself, shoot your shot, share your work everywhere you go etc. According to Oreka Godis, “It’s important that people are aware of you.”
Don’t underestimate the power of partnerships
With partnerships, you get the opportunity to collaborate with people that’ll introduce you to new skills, new resources and new perceptions. Many opportunities exist for Nigerians to collaborate with people in the diaspora. You just need to find the right one.
Conversations on royalties are very important in the creative industry
If you’re planning to work with any person or brand, make sure to have important conversations such as how much you get paid, who owns what, and who gets to do what. These details have to be ironed out, written down and signed by all relevant parties before any partnerships and collaborations happen. If not, one creative may end up getting ripped off.
Continue re-inventing yourself
There was a time when people were listening to music on cassettes and CDs and the only way to make money was by selling these CDs. Now we have multiple music streaming platforms where musicians can share their songs with millions of people across the world. Find out how your industry is changing and change with it, if not you’ll be left behind.
Social media is an important distribution tool
Social media is one of the fastest ways for your work to be distributed. During the panel session, Brenda Fashugba emphasised the importance of creatives putting their content online. The internet is basically the new “word of mouth for creatives,” and that’s why you should consistently post your work. Every share counts.
Information is power
A lot of the things we achieve today aren’t just because of the talents we have but also because of the information we’ve acquired. Adedotun Soyebi said there need to be more platforms like FITCC which bring together creatives from Nigeria and the diaspora. You need to be part of these types of platforms so you can get the chance to exchange ideas, learn new skills and network with people that’ll be essential to your growth.
Create value in the way you understand
As an artist, writer, filmmaker, musician, video producer etc., how do you create value in your industry? This is what will make you unique and get people to notice you. What’s different about your work that’ll people want to engage with it?
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This Is How You Should Treat Your January Salary

January salary is scared for its life right now, and it should be. After making us wait for so long, it should know we have a lot in store for it. Because why did it take the whole year to arrive? Now that it’s here, this is how you should treat it.
First of all, shed tears of joy
Do you know how long this month was? You could’ve completed a Master’s degree program in January alone. Give thanks that your wait is finally over.
Have one last look at the complete money in your account
Nothing is sweeter than seeing a round figure in your account on salary day, even though you know it won’t last 24 hours.
Think of all the things you suffered in January
Think back to the times when you were struggling in the ghetto of sapa, before your salary showed up as salvation.
Prepare to start tearing it into pieces
Enough of the fantasies. It’s time to spend money like a bandit. Your time has finally come after waiting for so long.
Buy food
You can’t do this on an empty stomach. You need to spend some of the salary on food first. Eat well before you fully settle into the cash that just came your way.
Make a budget
If you don’t want to spend like a bandit, make a budget of the things you want. You’ll probably not follow it, but at least, don’t plan to fail from the beginning nau.
Step outside
You’ve been an introvert all month because you don’t have money. It’s time for your true personality to show itself once again.

Start begging your last cash not to leave you
After you’ve enjoyed yourself and realise it’s only the 10th of February, you need to start begging the last ₦10k in your account not to leave you.
Wait for February salary
Ultimately, you know it’ll leave. So just take your mind off it and start preparing for February salary.

NEXT READ: 13 Things Nigerians Who Are Always Broke In January Will Get
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When We Say Eat the Rich, These Are the People We’re Talking About

Bubu’s decided travel influencing is a more profitable pastime than looking after Nigeria’s economy. This means it’s time to reenact the purge and go after all the Jeff Bezos types in your circle.
People that eat more than two eggs at once
Seeing as a crate of eggs is now equivalent to one citizen meal, if you so much as dream about eating eggs, you’re automatically a rich person. Make that dream a reality, and you should be doing giveaways every fortnight because you are swimming in money.
Parents
Children are expensive af, so anybody paying for another human being to live a full life is an Otedola in their own right.
People that are into real estate
If anybody looks you in the eyes and tells you they’re into real estate, don’t ask how, don’t ask what it means, just stretch out your hand and ask for your share. They’re the real owners of Lagos.
Tech bros
Don’t let their T-shirt, glasses and slides fool you. All your friends doing UI/UX and developing software have unicorn money. Especially the ones with dreads on top of their head. Bill them today.
People that uber everywhere
Think of them as the Elon Musks of our generation. Excess money and a constant need to spend it.
Wedding makeup and gele artistes
Wedding vendors are big money makers in Nigeria, so if you know anyone charging ₦350k to tie gele, hold the hem of their garment and demand your share.
People that are always outside in Lagos
Lagos tax, service charge and VAT? Anybody paying an extra 22.5% on their meals in Laygurs has enough to spare. Don’t even ask them, just hold them at gunpoint and go, “Your money or your life.” Lagos people need their lives for jaiye.
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#NairaLife: 10 Must-Read Stories of 2022

Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.
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Before we enter 2023, these are 10 #NairaLife stories from this year absolutely everyone should read.
And if you’ve read them before, read them again.
1. #NairaLife: What Happens When You Have to Raise Five Siblings at 20?

At first, this seems like a your regular grass to grace story, but things heat up really quickly. The loss of a mother, the irresponsibility of a father and the potential danger to the lives of his five younger siblings made the then 20-year-old subject on this story take matters into his own hands. Things didn’t go smoothly right from the jump, but life smiled on him one day and he’s not looked back since. You cannot miss this one.
2. The #NairaLife of the 27-Year-Old Driver Trying to Get Into Tech

This Naira Life subject has always been an aspiring tech bro. Even when he was working as an unpaid employee at his mum’s bukka and motel, he managed to go to computer school to learn design and programming — and somehow, fraud.
Now he’s a driver and he’s building apps — one of which he uses to over-charge his customers. His aim in life? To get into tech proper proper. No more fraud.
3. The Regretful #NairaLife of a Nine-Year Career Spent in a Family Business

This is the Naira Life of “had I knowns”. According to the subject, one mistake — not choosing Lagos for NYSC — led to a series of career blunders that put her where she is now. But none of those mistakes is as significant as working for her brother for the past nine years.
Now, after training people who’ve gone on to have impressive careers, she’s stuck. Both financially — she earns ₦60k monthly — and mentally. One thing she knows though, is that she needs to do something different.
4. The #NairaLife of a 32-Year-Old Divorcee With Unpursued Dreams

After seven years, two children and a failed marriage, the 32-year-old subject of this Naira Life returned to her parents’ home with just ₦500 to her name. Things are picking up for her again, but you just get a sense that she didn’t have to go through all this wahala in life. Don’t miss this one.
5. #NairaLife: This 24-Year-Old Makes Millions Playing FIFA

A yoruba adage that speaks to the unending variety of ways people can make money goes, “Ọ̀nà kan ò wọ’jà” (It’s never just one road that leads to the market). For this guy, the thing that makes him millions, fame and takes him to represent Nigeria all around the world is the same thing his parents scolded him for doing too much when he was a kid: playing video games.
6. #NairaLife: This Nurse Is Fighting Sickle Cell and Sapa With Two Jobs

The 26-year-old nurse on this #NairaLife lived in wealth until her dad died mysteriously when she was 12. Things got so bad, she had to retake a semester in school because she was owing ₦1k. Since then, she’s sold sweets, bread, eggs and even written love letters to make money. Now, she works at two different hospitals and is saving to japa.
I asked her: Did all that physical activity affect your health?
And she replied: Very badly. I fell sick a lot, but it was either sickness or be broke and hungry. I didn’t want to go hungry.
7. The #NairaLife of a Lawyer Aiming for $100K a Year Through Tech

Fun fact: I interviewed the subject and published the story in January 2022. At the time, she earned ₦2m a month. Approximately $41k/year at the time. In April, we spoke again. She’d gotten a new job that surpassed her $100k/year goal.
8. The #NairaLife of the Morally Complicated Guidance Counsellor

The guidance counsellor on this Naira Life might need some counselling. The 25-year-old works as a guidance counsellor at his parents’ school for ₦100k a month. But before that, he did a lot for money, including selling pure water, thrifting clothes and fraud. From the interview, it was clear he had a lot to iron out with his parents. I hope he’s had the chance to.
9. From Nursing to Hairdressing: This 43-Year-Old Mum Is Living in Debt

“Between 1996 and 2014, today’s subject on #NairaLife worked as an auxiliary nurse. Her highest salary in that period was ₦12k. Today, she works as a hairdresser and lives on loans she repays every week.”
Fun fact: In one week, this story got ₦335k in donations from Zikoko’s Naira Life readers to clear her debts and find her feet. As if that wasn’t enough, the subject was placed on a ₦30k monthly stipend from another reader from May to December this year.
10. The Heartwarming #NairaLife of a 23-Year-Old Breadwinner

A win for me, with this story, is the title. The story is heartwarming. This 23-year-old’s family went from going on trips and sending children to study abroad to owing ₦30k in a Nigerian university. Things got so bad, the subject’s dad attempted suicide. Here’s an excerpt from when things got better:
“Bro, when the first alert entered, it was like ₦1.5m. My entire family looked at the alert; all those little frustrations died. It was like a complete sense of ease just filled the house. I’d never seen such pride on my parents’ faces. As a child, whenever I thought about my first million, I thought I would get it through savings. I’d just exceeded it in a month. At 22. I gave my dad ₦150k, my mum ₦100k, and we bought stuff for the house. That’s just how things have been since then.”
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What Politicians Are Spending Money On Instead of Fighting Poverty

One game the Nigerian government loves playing is the blame game. And we’ve seen that play out many times with the current Buhari administration, from blaming the state of our country on so-called lazy youths to blaming the weather for fuel scarcity. It’s 2022, and fingers are still being pointed.
Early in December 2022, the Minister of State for Budget and National Planning, Clement Agba, blamed the state governments for the level of poverty in the country. Barely 24 hours later, President Muhammadu Buhari voiced the same accusation, saying the state governors were looting local government funds.
The Minister of Finance, Zainab Ahmed, disclosed that the Buhari administration has supported states with over ₦5 trillion since 2015, but millions of Nigerians are still extremely poor.
We’re approaching the final six months of the Buhari administration with another administration on the way, but the problems plaguing us as a nation have barely changed.
If the government’s allegations are true, how and on what projects were these funds spent? Well, we have a few guesses.
Exotic rides
Nigerian politicians know how to live soft lives on our national cake. Nobody does it better than them. We’ve also seen that they can be very cheerful givers. In April, the governor of Zamfara State, Bello Matawalle, distributed 260 brand new Cadillac 2019 model cars to traditional rulers to thank them for sustaining peace. This was a week after he distributed 15 brand new Hilux cars to leaders of “repentant” bandit groups.
You’d think a governor whose state has one of the highest population of out-of-school children would focus scarce resources on addressing that rather than rewarding criminals. But no, this is Nigeria, and logic doesn’t live here.
Exploring overseas
Our politicians were probably explorers and adventurers in their previous lives because they enjoy being anywhere but home. And if we look more closely, they started the japa trend because they mostly have their families abroad, and their children hardly ever have to pass through the ASUU strike rite of passage. Even our First Lady, Aisha Buhari, decided the country was too stressful and spent six months in Dubai and can you blame her?
Medical tourism
In July 2022, the vice-president, Yemi Osinbajo, received praise for undergoing surgery in Nigeria, and that showed how low the bar is for our politicians. Millions are spent by government officials seeking foreign healthcare. And unfortunately, the ambassador of this sad trend is our president himself, who, despite his promise to end medical tourism, has spent a total of 237 days abroad for health reasons.
Even 2023 presidential candidates aren’t ready to commit fully to staying in Nigeria for their medical care if they win next year’s election.
Election campaigns
As we already know, elections in Nigeria are expensive. The 2023 presidential nomination form for one of the political parties cost ₦100 million. This is one of the reasons why politics today is ruled by godfatherism. This system ensures successful candidates use state resources to repay favours owed once they get into office.
Getting into office as a Nigerian politician is an opportunity to ball with your guys While Nigerian politicians keep pointing at non-existent excuses for their failures, Nigerians are suffering from neglect. Hopefully, the next administration we elect in 2023 will spend Nigeria’s money on Nigerians..
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Buhari Wants You To Pay More For Your Soft Drinks

2022 will be a memorable one for many Nigerians even if they’re trying to forget. We saw the price of items double, our naira had a makeover, our national grid died and resurrected more than a few times, schoolchildren will now be taught in their native languages, and Meffy rolled out new cash withdrawal restrictions as a Christmas gift.
But to end the year with a bang, the federal government is proposing adding a 20% tax on non-alcoholic beverages.
What does this mean for Nigerians?
Because soft drinks make up the bulk of non-alcoholic beverages, if the 20% tax is implemented, there’d most likely be an increase in the prices of these drinks soon. However, this isn’t the first time the government is taxing the soft drinks industry.
What happened before?
Earlier this year, there was an increase in the prices of some drinks — a bottle of Coke sold formerly for ₦200 became ₦250. Unknown to many of us, this increase was because of the ₦10 per litre tax the federal government placed on Sugar-Sweetened Beverages (SSB).
What’s their reason?
Statistics show that nearly 40 million litres of soft drinks are sold annually in Nigeria, the fourth highest in the world. This puts many consumers at risk of diseases like stroke, heart disease and type 2 diabetes. So, the government imposed the ₦10 per litre tax to reduce our consumption of these beverages. The extra revenue from the tax is channelled towards treating sugar-related diseases.
What happens now?
Beyond the price hike, if the 20% tax is implemented, there are other possible side effects.
People will lose their jobs
Since the ₦10 per litre tax has been added, many beverage companies have found it challenging to make a profit. A study showed that there had been an 8% decrease in revenue between July and August this year, and this decline is expected to reach 25% by December.
If the 20% tax is further implemented, revenue figures could be further affected and would eventually lead to the loss of jobs.
We’ll scare off foreign investors
During a stakeholders’ meeting discussing the effects of the proposed government tax on December 6, 2022, it was noted that the tax discouraged one of the bottling companies from proceeding with its £300 million investment plan. And if the tax is finally implemented, we can expect more stories like this.
The government’s plan to help reduce the consumption of carbonated soft drinks isn’t bad. Still, they must try to strike a balance instead of frustrating manufacturers and increasing our already high cost of living.
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Sunken Ships: I Wasn’t Her Emergency Wallet

Folake* and Seun* (both 25) became fast friends after meeting at a party a year ago. Their lives revolved around having a fun time and elevating the other person’s stress, but money problems ended all that.
How do you become friends with someone you meet at a party?
Folake: The party happened in October 2019. I was there because I needed to have a fun time and life was stressful. However, for most of the party, I noticed she stood alone and looked uncomfortable. When I asked her what was wrong, she explained that she had followed her roommate, who had ditched her for a boy. I felt bad for her, so I stood there with her and tried to cheer her up. We danced, took shots, and eventually exchanged numbers. When she wanted to leave, I ordered her a ride and she texted me when she got home.
The following week, we met at another party and this time, I was the one who didn’t know anyone there. We had a good time together and I realised maybe we could build some sort of friendship. The next day, when I woke up with the most irritating hangover, there was already a text from her saying how much she likes partying with me and that she knows spending time with me will be fun. I thought it was fate.
Did you both get to hang out?
Folake: We did and it was the most fun I had. I met her at a point in my life when I needed new friends. Making friends as an adult is scary and I didn’t know how to do it. Most people have their cliques that have existed for years. Some of them are the ones you don’t even fit into because they’re of a different social class than you are.
I was down in the dumps and life wasn’t going so well. Seun seemed like the answer to my prayers. Once-a-week catch-ups became mandatory for us. There’ll be good food, alcohol and lots of gossip. We became really fast friends.
There was no event we attended alone. If Seun wasn’t going to be there, I wouldn’t be there and vice versa.
RELATED: Sunken Ships: What’s Friendship Without Trust
When did the problems start?
Folake: In 2020, when the pandemic happened. They’d just announced a lockdown and companies were moving different. Seun’s job slashed her already rubbish salary in half. One minute she was paying for our brunch dates and the next, she could barely afford her rent.
It was a tough time for her and I noticed how much her behaviour changed. She wasn’t as lively or bubbly as she used to be. She was always tired because she had to pick up extra jobs. I tried my best to be there for her as much as possible. We couldn’t eat out because of the pandemic, but I’d sometimes get her food from the places she liked. Occasional gift deliveries to remind her that I care and love her.
I could afford to do all of this because I had a bit more money than she did. I always believed that in situations where one person had a more significant advantage, it is normal for that person to help and do more. It’s a rule I applied to all my friendships and romantic relationships. All of these things I mentioned are what set the tone for the actual problem.
What was the problem?
Folake: I started sending her money. ₦20k and ₦50k there. It wasn’t going to do much, but at least it was something she could manage. I’ll occasionally send her money to fuel her car or get some groceries. She never asked and I just did because I could, but then entitlement set in.
She started calling and demanding money. At first, it was small things like her card declined and she needed ₦5k to pay for something she bought, to asking me for money for her router because her bank app wasn’t working. Initially, the requests were so small I wasn’t bothered then the demands started getting more ridiculous.
RELATED: Sunken Ships: I Couldn’t Keep Up With Her Lifestyle
Like what?
Folake: She once asked me for money for her rent. Rent she’s paying almost ₦2,000,000? How did she want me to do it? Where did she want me to see the money? Am I a thief?
Before then, it had been things like buying a new wig or changing her phone. She then graduated from that to asking me to borrow her money. I don’t like to borrow people money because they hardly ever pay me back, but I borrowed her anyways. Till today, I haven’t gotten a single kobo back.
So there’s the random money I’d send her, buying her expensive things and still borrowing her money she never paid me back. lt felt like I was going destitute. I am the last born so I never had siblings to send money to. There’s nobody I take care of except my parents and myself, but there she was. I started avoiding picking her calls because I knew she’d bill me.
That sounds like a lot for you
Folake: It was. Especially when I told her no. She’d give me the silent treatment for days and start shading me on social media. Things like how people aren’t there for you on your bad days. I’d feel so bad. I’d give her what she asked for.
How long did this go on for?
Folake: She got the slashed salary in July 2020. I remember sending her money till February of 2021. So, seven to eight months of her attitude. All the other friends I had told me to cut her off, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It felt like I was abandoning her at the time she needed it the most.
But you did eventually
Folake: I was scrolling through Twitter one day in March and I saw her reply to someone’s post about her getting a promotion and taking them out to dinner. I was so confused because she didn’t mention it to me. It was even more confusing when a couple of days after I saw the post, she called me to ask me for money to add to her grocery shopping money. Someone that was supposedly taking other people to dinner at this overpriced Lagos restaurants? That’s when I realised I’d been played.
I blocked her everywhere and cried myself to sleep. I thought of all the times I had sent her job opportunities and money, tried to be there for her when she was sad, never tried to make her feel less than because she couldn’t afford certain things. With all the kindness I tried to show to her, this was how I was repaid?
Did you talk to her about it?
Folake: No. I don’t want to hear whatever explanation she wants to give. She had so many chances to explain herself over the years but she didn’t. If you rate someone enough to constantly use them for emotional and financial labour, when things get better for you, they should at least be aware.
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This Nigerian Department Is Spending ₦89B of Your Money on PR

Before October 25, 2022, many Nigerians had never heard of NAPIMS. I discovered the department by accident earlier this month when I visited a friend who lived near the agency’s head office in Lagos. At first, I thought NAPIMS was just a block of residential apartments for VVIPs.
NAPIMS’ head office in Ikoyi, Lagos
But after doing small amebo on my phone, I found out that NAPIMS is short for the National Petroleum Investment Management Services. The department is a subsidiary of the Nigerian National Petroleum Company (NNPC) — where all of Nigeria’s money is made and stolen. That was where my research stopped, so imagine my surprise when I saw NAPIMS in the news just weeks later.
What did NAPIMS do?
An audit of NAPIMS showed that the department spent ₦89.9 billion on public relations in 2021. This was more than triple the ₦20.7 billion NAPIMS spent on public relations in 2020.
How thoughtful of NAPIMS to stop just short of hitting the ₦90 billion mark. You’ve earned our undying gratitude, NAPIMS.
But if just one department is spending ₦89.9 billion on public relations, shouldn’t Nigerians have actually heard of them?
Let’s do some PR for NAPIMS, shall we?
NAPIMS describes itself as a corporate services unit of the NNPC. The department manages the Federal Government’s investments in the upstream oil industry. That’s the boring part.
The really interesting part is the department’s claim of maximising the Nigerian government’s oil profits. Because the obvious question is how well have they managed to do that? Let’s show you.
The Nigerian department of flex
As you probably guessed already, public relations wasn’t the only thing NAPIMS spent too much on. I took a closer look at the audit report and found out that this department has been flexing with Nigeria’s oil money. Audited financial statements are usually boring but I promise you this one isn’t.
In 2020, NAPIMS spent ₦680 million on maintenance but spent ₦63 billion the following year. Most of that fund probably went to maintaining stomachs rather than assets.
In the same 2021 NAPIMS spent ₦2.2 billion on travelling and ₦1.1 billion on entertainment — because man must chop.
Expenses on internet also went up from ₦84.6 million in 2020 to ₦6.8 billion in 2021. After all, NAPIMS is in the upstream industry, and streaming consumes a lot of data.
Let’s also not forget that NAPIMS wrote off over ₦85 billion in bad debt in 2021.
How are Nigerians taking this?
An independent research analyst, Dayo Adenubi, told Citizen that NAPIMS’ administrative expenses are alarming, especially the bad debt write-off.
He said, “Debt write-off schemes are a common accounting fraud used by criminals to disguise unauthorised payments or reduce taxable income. I want to believe NAPIMS falls under the former.”
A Nigerian on Twitter who claimed to have worked for NAPIMS said that despite the heavy bills, it’s still possible that the financial statement is understated.
“I was the Acting Head of Procurements and Acquisitions Department. My boss Mr Micah lost his family in an accident and took a year off work. If the NAPIMS books tell you they spent billions on something, just know say na trillions.”
Another former NAPIMS staff said, “75% of NAPIMS staff are multi-millionaires. The Ogas are multi-billionaires. All IOC contracts are advertised by NIPEX but regulations, approval and contract awards are from NAPIMS (fill in the gap). In NAPIMS we only talk in dollars.”
So what really goes on?
Many Nigerians are now curious about what goes on at NAPIMS as the department spends so much on public relations while remaining relatively unknown. The person best-placed to address the issue is the Minister of Petroleum Resources, President Muhammadu Buhari. But we wouldn’t hold our breath for a response.










