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messi | Zikoko!
  • Messi Vs. Ronaldo: These Nigerian Men Pick Their GOAT

    Messi Vs. Ronaldo: These Nigerian Men Pick Their GOAT

    If you want to start a war, ask football fans to choose between Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo. Over here, we do usually like violence, so we decided to ask these Nigerian men to pick their football faves and tell us why. The shade was plenty, but these are some of the answers they gave us. 

    Ryan, 33

    I hate both of them, but let me start with all the reasons I can’t stand that short man devil, Messi. First off, he has scored countless goals against my team, Arsenal, including a hattrick. I also hate the fact that his stans continue to suck him off even though he hasn’t won a Champions League without Xavi and Iniesta. He is currently fighting for his life in a farmers’ league right now, but FIFA and the media keep giving him awards to support their propaganda that he is the greatest footballer. 

    I admire Ronaldo, but I’m not a fan. I only support him because doing so makes Messi stans angry. 

    Bolu, 20 

    Ronaldo is a finished player abeg. Can’t you see what he’s playing for Manchester United? It’s rubbish. He’s just staying there for no reason and you can tell he’s the type of player that wants everything to rotate around him. I prefer Messi because he’s a more technical player. When you see Messi playing, you can tell that he knows what he’s doing. He knows how to dribble better, pass better and finish better. As a whole, Messi’s a better team player, but Ronaldo is very lazy — he only knows how to score. Even if Messi has not been scoring goals this season, he impacts and assists his other teammates. 

    Mikey, 28

    Ronaldo all the way Most people underrate the guy because what he does looks easy, but he’s killing it day in, day out. A lot of players have tried hard to keep up with Ronaldo when it comes to goals and finesse, and they’ve all failed. People say Messi is effortless and it’s “God-given talent”, but what is talent without hard work? So far, Ronaldo has conquered Spain, Italy, England and Portugal. Has Messi achieved something like that? No, he was too comfortable in Spain and even the PSG he plays for now, he has been terrible with like one goal in about 20 games. That’s very poor. 

    Tochukwu, 30 

    Messi is clearly the best footballer ever! Ronaldo does a lot of work before he gets results, but Messi is pure, God-given talent. Nobody has ever been or will ever be like Messi. The guy scores goals, makes goals and dribbles — he makes football a beautiful sport to watch. Ronaldo is good, but Messi is a notch higher and the greatest footballer the world has ever seen. I dare say he’s greater than Maradona, Pele and Zidane.. 

    Danjuma, 23

    Ronaldo is better on and off the pitch. Yes, Ronaldo is a good player, but even outside football, he has a personality that’s just lit AF. Outside football, Messi is a dead guy. We all know Messi can play well, but I also think he’s overrated because he has fans that see whatever he does as something spectacular. Messi is nothing without his fanbase. For Ronaldo, I can justify why I think he’s great. Numbers don’t lie and he’s proven it. But like I said, outside the pitch, he’s also scoring because he’s a bigger public figure, and he has hacked how to interact with his fans. 

    Oche, 26 

    Messi over Ronaldo every day. Messi has more goals and assists than Ronaldo when we look at their goals-to-game ratio. In 2012 alone, Messi scored over 90 goals, a feat neither Ronaldo or any other player has been able to achieve. For anyone getting into football for the first time, Messi is more entertaining to watch, and finally, he doesn’t have rape allegations hovering over him. 

    Chuma, 28

    Ronaldo for sure because that guy is the GOAT among the two of them. Don’t get me wrong, Messi is brilliant, but what Ronaldo does is amazing. Ronaldo has that edge because he can walk into any league, any team and still kill it. Messi on the other hand has fewer goals than Werner this season. Plus, I don’t know how you can call the guy with the most goals in the world “overrated”. 

  • Champions League: 5 Things Ronaldo Fans Should Do If Barca Qualifies

    Champions League: 5 Things Ronaldo Fans Should Do If Barca Qualifies

    Champions League round of 16 games continue tonight, and after Ronaldo and Juventus got eliminated by Pepe and Porto, everyone is looking forward to the game in Paris tonight to see if Messi and Barcelona can defeat PSG in a second leg tie again.

    If somehow, that happens, and you’re a Ronaldo fan, we have some tips for you.

    1. Get off social media

    If you’re a Ronaldo fan, you don’t need to be on Twitter if somehow Barcelona qualifies into the quarter finals of the Champions League tonight. Just delete every social media app on your phone. You’ll see all sorts of tweets ranging from “Ronaldo woke up feeling dangerous today”, to “Penaldo only scores from penalties”. You don’t want that for your mental health.

    2. Switch off your phone

    When people realise you’re not on social media, they will start calling you. The best thing to do is to just switch off your phone. If they can’t reach you, they can’t laugh at you and shout “Messi is my GOAT!” endlessly.

    3. Don’t go to work tomorrow

    The people that want to mock you for your GOAT falling out of the Champions League before theirs are at your workplace. They’re waiting for you. Call HR and say you fell sick and you can’t make it to work. Save yourself from having a bad day.

    4. Stop watching football

    This one might be a bit extreme, but you should definitely consider it if Barcelona goes on to win the Champions League.

    5. Openly proclaim Messi as the GOAT

    Leo Messi Goal vs Real Madrid 2017 | RAY HUDSON AMAZING COMMENTARY | 720p  60fps - By Pirelli7 - YouTube

    Do this, and know peace.


    Before you go, can we guess which club you support?

    Champions League
  • Funny Ways Nigerian Football Fans Are Celebrating Messi’s Birthday

    Funny Ways Nigerian Football Fans Are Celebrating Messi’s Birthday

    Today is Lionel Messi’s 33rd birthday. For those people who don’t know Messi (which I doubt), he is an Argentine professional footballer who plays as a forward and captains both Spanish club Barcelona and the Argentina national team.

    Even when he was not celebrating his birthday, Nigerian football fanatics will not let us rest. Now that today is his birthday, best believe that casala has jammed wahala. And we are here to bring you the scoop.

    1. Aunty Iyabo who is giving out 10G of free data to Barca fans.

    https://twitter.com/iyaboojofepris/status/1275739859962007552?s=20

    Aunty Iyabo spending. Plis ma, our jersey is still with the tailor. Can we tie wrapper and come?

    2. Erm… is this not from a Celine Dion song?

    Celine Dion works hard, but Barca fans work harder sha.

    3. Mister Oyin wey dey fry dodo.

    https://twitter.com/MisterOyin/status/1275774202788839424
    We didn’t say anything, please.

    4. This thing about calling Messi the GOAT…

    The first thing I almost always imagine is Messi as goat meat pepper soup. I swear, I’m not cannibalistic in nature, my inner longer throat just jumps out sometimes.

    5. My Happiness…

    https://twitter.com/Fouz_fcb10/status/1275534884694523904

    God when? Why? How? Where? Who? What? Why? Whence? Whoomst?

    10 Things People Who Don’t Understand Football Can Relate To

    6. This tweet smells like what Nigerian parents might tweet.

    https://twitter.com/Reguiloan__/status/1274364238543364096

    Eg: My child cannot bite someone else’s child. I did not raise a cannibal. I know my son Chukwuebuka well. Chukwuebuka, tell me you did not bite him. You see? He did not bite him.

    7. Toh.

    https://twitter.com/JeminisceNG/status/1275194305653755911

    Refer to the above, please. Ike gwuru.

    8. Which smile abeg?

    The hianity.

    9. What in the future preparations is this tweet?

    https://twitter.com/Lucasscot_101/status/1275377479876849664

    Let the man live, abeg.

    10. And finally, the GOAT with a goat.

    https://twitter.com/prof_pius/status/1275704337692532736

    Two goats, one which is eatable and the other which eats goals. Haq, see bars!

    As we celebrate Messi’s 33rd birthday, here’s something for football fans who do a lirru bit of betting: Have You Ever Lost Money To Football Betting? We Know Your Story

  • Our #ArgentinaMustGo Manifesto

    Ladies and gentlemen, grab a pen and paper. We’re about to do some serious calculations.

    We’re back to using further maths to know whether we are going to qualify. Like we’ve done with everything truly Nigerian.

    As we all know, we lost our first match against Croatia, while our boys were dancing shaku-shaku.

    But let the past just remain in the past please.

    We turned up the heat and destroyed Iceland in our 2nd Game. Melted their ice anyhow.

    If you haven’t seen it, we’re seizing your Nigerian passport.

    Now, for some reason Argentina’s Mascherano is pretty confident that they’re going to win against Nigeria today.

    But he doesn’t know what’s coming yet. He doesn’t know.

    Whatever anybody wants to say or do, one thing is for sure; ARGENTINA MUST GO.

    Put all of them inside bag, let them be going back home.

    If only our twitter prophet predicted this match like he predicted the last one.

    Prophet where are you? Please don’t wake up until you’ve dreamt o.

    Ahmed Musa has become a national treasure, and we need to protect him at all cost.

    Whatever it takes.

    While we are protecting Musa, we have to keep another individual in mind. Messi.

    Bury Messi.

    See we have three options for this game.

    Just three.

    Win!

    So that everybody can drink and be baby boys and girls.

    The second option is also quite simple. Win.

    You heard that right.

    And the third?

    We could manage a draw. Win or die on de line. Now, if you could tell the Super Eagles one thing today, what are you telling them abeg?