love letters to food

In the spirit of Valentine, we decided to give four foods a chance to write love letters to who they care about. Love Letters to Food.

Egg Sauce of life,

I’m in awe of you. I love how diverse you are. You can be cooked in so many ways with different ingredients. It’s one of the reasons why many people love you. You bring all the excitement to this marriage, and I’m grateful for it.

When I was dating stew, not only was I always bored, but I also felt incomplete, like something was missing. I couldn’t figure out what it was until I met you. It felt like an age-old connection was rekindled, and every moment we spend together, I appreciate all that you offer me.

You’re my best friend. I love that we can be romantic and lovey-dovey and also goofy and mischievous as hell. I remember when someone made us for lunch, ate a tiny bit and put the rest of us in the fridge. We felt so unwanted and wanted to get revenge so bad, we decided to fall on the floor the next time he took us out of the fridge. The look on his face was too funny.

You make life so easy; when people are thinking of what to eat me with, you always make yourself an available option, and I really appreciate that. In the midst of all the chaos in this country, you’ve been there for me. When people boil me too soft, you comfort me and tell me you’ll deal with the person. It’s so cute when you act like you can fight. I remember when you threatened to beat up that Chukwudi boy who cut me up haphazardly and then forgot about me until I got burnt because he went to watch a football match. I found it so sexy and adorable at the same.

I love how we work so well together, like we were meant to be. The way your sauce mixes with my soft body is the reason people love us so much. We’re the perfect breakfast combo. If anyone disagrees, they can argue with their frying pan. I hope we continue to make people happy during mealtime. I also hope I bring you even a fraction of the joy you bring me.

You have illuminated my life and enriched it far more than I could have dreamed possible. I can’t imagine my world without you. To more breakfasts and brunches.

Love,

Yam

Dammy Eneli

February 24, 2023

Chopist, Ships

Food, Funny, love letters to food, Nigeria, Nigerians
In the spirit of Valentine, we decided to give four foods the chance to write love letters to those they care about. This is Love Letters to Food.

Dear Beans,

Remember when we were at a bukka and a man came in shouting that their food had given him explosive diarrhoea? He was so furious as told them how he spent his entire day in and out of the toilet and even finished all the tissue in the house.

We just sat in a corner laughing because you were the cause of his stomach problem. When you were being cooked, you pretended like you were done, so the seller put off the fire and served you like that. It was even funnier because I was on the plate with you and knew the prank you were about to pull. It was such a foolish prank.

I miss when we used to cause mischief. You were always ready to do foolish things with me, and that’s why you’re my favourite cousin in the entire world. You’re the one family member I genuinely get along with. Butter and egg are great, but they’re also boring. Their idea of fun is starting polls on who between them people prefer to eat me with. And I hate the polls because I’d rather be eaten with you.

People used to eat us together a lot. . They used to crave us so much that, before Thursday, we would’ve been served to at least 16 people in one bukka alone. We were the perfect team because we taste great for how cheap we are. But now, we rarely see each other.

You spend a lot more time with yam, plantain and rice. And I guess it’s because people don’t just want to eat you and me all the time. I’ve even seen you hang out with sliced bread and spaghetti a few times. And while I’m happy you get to spend more time with other foods (I’m not sure about you and spaghetti sha), I sometimes long for the days when it was you and I, with the others as “once in a while” options.

You’re not just my cousin, you’re my best friend. And despite all the foods I’ve met in this life, there’s no one like you. You’re so cool people even eat you alone and enjoy you. You make them gassy and that makes you such a fun food because there’s never a dull moment with you. Remember when we used to laugh at short people who ate a lot of you because they thought it would make them taller? Or when people used to dip me in Coke because that’s how much sapa had dealt with them. Good times.

Thank you for bringing excitement into my life. Thank you for showing me there’s more to life than sitting around and waiting to be eaten. As I’ve said about 100 times in this love letter, I miss you cuz. Life is boring without you. I really hope we get to spend a lot more time together this year. With the way the economy is going, more people will look for us soon, so be ready. We need to be there for them in their time of need.

I can’t wait to see you again.

Love,

Agege bread

Dammy Eneli

February 17, 2023

Chopist, Ships

Food, Funny, love letters, love letters to food, Nigeria, Nigerians
In the spirit of Valentine, we decided to give four foods the chance to write love letters to those they care about. This is Love Letters to Food.

Dear Fried Rice,

We get pitted against each other a lot, so people don’t really know how close we are. You’re the best friend I can’t do without. They see us as two competitors always fighting about who’s superior, but it’s so crazy how people don’t see that all our fighting is just banter. Like when you drag me for dating chicken because no one else can stand my wahala.

Every time I’m down or feeling a bit of self-doubt because one restaurant or caterer didn’t cook me well, you never fail to remind me I’m a bad bitch, that countries all over the world fight about which version of me is the best, and Nigerian households cook me anytime they get the chance. I don’t think I can be in a bad mood for too long when I’m around you because you always know the right thing to say to make me feel better. Even when you’re not physically there, one phone call to you and I’m all good. I couldn’t ask for a better best friend and partner.

You always say all these amazing things about me, but have you met you? You’re sweet, the most exotic type of rice there is, and anybody who disagrees can kiss a burning pot. You’re so full of life — only you has carrots, green peas, spring onions, bell peppers, shrimps and more. That’s why you give people around you life, and that’s why you’re a celebratory meal. You may not be cooked often in Nigerian homes, but that’s because they save you for special occasions. You’re that special.

I’m so glad we’re served together at most events. It has brought us closer than ever because we get to gist and gossip a lot. I love how we notice the same things; all we have to do is look at each other. I always have to hold myself from bursting out in laughter, and that’s what makes events fun for me. Whenever I’m served without you, it’s always boring because there’s no one to gist or make jokes with. All chicken knows how to do is complain that people don’t eat its bone in public. No one understands me like you do.

I can’t imagine what life would be like without you as my best friend. Who’d I complain to when one expensive restaurant adds too much curry to me? Remember the first time you met turkey, and he took you to a bukka for your first date? You thought turkey was one rich protein and that he was going to take you to an exotic fancy restaurant, only for you to end up in a bukka. It was such a hilarious experience.

Thank you for being the best friend any food could ask for, for staying by my side in the good times and bad. I love you, and I look forward to more chaotic times with you.

Happy Valentine’s Day, bestie.

ALSO READ: “I Feel Seen Because of You” – Love Letter From Gizzard to Dodo

Dammy Eneli

February 14, 2023

Chopist, Ships

Food, Funny, love letters to food, Nigerian, relationships
In the spirit of valentine, we decided to give four foods the chance to write love letters to who they care about. This is Love Letters to Food

Dear Dodo,

I’m thinking about the first time we met as I write this letter. It was the day my life changed.

Before you, very few people liked me. Anytime they heard gizzard, they acted like someone just gave them semo. I was always picked last from a pot of stew, and if I was mistakenly served on a plate, I had to deal with the fear of being pushed aside and ignored. Do you know what it feels like to always expect rejection? Semo does, and only semo should. I was really going through it, and I felt so alone. Then you came into my life.

From the moment we started dating, we were the power couple. Everyone wanted us around; we got invited to so many events and served to all kinds of people.

Now, I’m in places I never would’ve dreamt of. I even get treated more special than small chops, and it’s all because of you. You’re a blessing to not just me but to everyone around you. Your friends — beans, egg and jollof rice — can testify to how much of a blessing you are.

The more they cook and serve us together, the more I fall in love with you. Every moment we spend together is magical. Whether we’re served at a wedding, a 70th birthday, a bridal shower or even a burial, whether we’re alone or served with our friends, as long as I’m with you, that’s all that matters.

In this month of love, I want to say thank you for creating magic with me and making us Gizdodo. It’s so crazy how, despite our opposite textures, we work so well together. We were meant for each other. The only time we fight is when people leave us out to spoil, and that’s because we’re both fighting for our lives. But that rarely even happens.

You’re an incredible partner and soulmate, and I love you more than I can ever express. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you on different plates at more events. I love you from one owambe to the other.

Dammy Eneli

February 10, 2023

Chopist, Ships

Chopist, Dodo, love letters to food, Ships