Living | Zikoko!

13 Pictures That Will Only Make Sense To The Big Boys And Girls That Live On The Island

1. How all your friends see you.

‘Money speaking!’
2. How you drive to work on the mainland because everyone in Lagos is facing traffic, but you’re against it.

Nothing like go slow here!
3. When your friends working on the island are using your house as hotel.

I did not send you people to be living on the mainland oh!
4. When you buy something on the island and the price is x 100.

You people don’t have the fear of God !
5. When you tell potential boyfriends you live in VGC.

“Ah! This one is not our mate o!
6. When you discover one very cheap shop on the mainland.

Thank God o!
7. Your face when you have to travel all the way to the mainland on the weekend.

What rubbish?
8. When all your friends are living on the mainland.

So lonely.
9. When you get a job on the island and your boss thinks you should resume 7 am, because you ‘live nearby’.

I’m not on seat, Sir!
10. You, when mainland people start hating because you get to attend all the cool events.

Haters gon hate.
11. When one toaster says he lives in Ikorodu.

Uncle, call me when you move to Lagos!
12. When Epe and Lakowe people are forming ‘Island’ too.

Keep deceiving yoursef!
13. When one small rain starts, and every where turns into River Niger!

See stress!

Shola

September 9, 2016

Oldies

Funny, lagos island, Living
19 Pictures That Accurately Describe Living In Ijebu Ode

1. How people act when you tell them you live in Ijebu Ode.

Ah pele oh! You thought Lagos was the only place in the world?
2. When you hear that there’s finally a cinema in Ijebu Ode.

Ah finally! I still can’t believe they gave Akure before us.
3. When you get to the cinema and they’re still showing movies from last year.

What a disappoint!
4. When Chicken Republic and Tantalizers came to Ijebu Ode but Mosun Cafe managed to chase them away.

KFC will not even bother. There’s sha still Mr Biggs.
5. When you were happy when Savoury opened but then you heard their prices.

Ejo e koshi lo. Mosun Cafe will still chase you away.
6. Mosun Cafe on a Sunday.

Before all the chicken will finish.
7. When you want to go to the mall and you have to make the 45 minute drive to Ibadan.

Ah nawa.
8. When you’re trying go somewhere within town and the keke guy calls 100 naira.

Better behave!
9. When you realize that Ijebu Ode is almost as crowded as Lagos.

No seriously, there’s no house for you to rent.
10. How you look at Lagos people with their banned okada.

Ntoi!
11. When the bike man asks where in Erunwon and you say “around Ilese..”

Get out!
12. When people that live in Ijebu Mushin and Ijebu Itele also say they live in Ijebu Ode.

Please it’s not the same place.
13. When policemen try to stop you and they’re not holding guns.

When there’s no traffic?
14. Ijebu Ode banks and closing early.

Since armed robbers won’t leave them alone.
15. You waiting on an ATM queue in Ijebu Ode.

It’s never short.
16. When you get back from New Market and you start telling your mom the prices.

“They scammed you.” Yup. They will always scam you.
17. When you see a masquerade in Ijebu.

Bruh, better hide. Those people can flog you.
18. When someone says Ijebu Ode is local.

We’ll still take all your Lagos jobs. Shut up.
19. When an original Ijebu person cooks you that fire Ikokore.

YASSSS!

Odunayo

May 30, 2016

Oldies

Ijebu Ode, Living
22 Things Only People Who Attended Babcock Can Completely Relate To

1. When you are trying to sleep but the porter has 1000 announcements at 6 AM

Can you please not?
2. You finally dress in your best outfit and KDS says it’s not compliant

Lord Jesus Christ, why do you people exist?
3. When you are late for your 7 AM and there is no keke anywhere

So this is how life is.
4. When you have to wake up super early for Spirikoko

Is it by force to pray?
5. The struggle to get an exeat during spiritual week

My grandmother’s grandson died so we are doing the burial this weekend.
6. When it is school fees season

Let us make this money!!!
7. When you’re trying to ‘dorcas’ and KDS is being extra

Someone can’t walk on the road in peace again?
8. When you see your lecturer for the semester is renowned for giving carry overs and 49’s

Why me?
9. When you have to do three GEDS in one semester

All these hours of trying to stay awake in class.
10. When it is time for mid semester after spiritual week

Ahan already? They don’t use to play with you guys?
11. Heading to ‘Caf’ for special sabbath lunch

This food will not pass me by.
12. When there are six parties in Lagos and everybody is going to be there

We must all show face there by all means.
13. Walking in and out of your hall when you’ve settled the hall administrator for the semester

Y’all cant tell me nothing
14. When they start smoking on your block

Its not me you people will put in trouble.
15. When they say chapel seminar will determine if you graduate or not

Don’t go and dull yourself.
16. When you see someone with 06/ matric number in your 11/ class

AH CHAIRMAN!
17. Church services when it is exam period

Please they are praying for exam success.
18. When the lecturer says “next class is for AOC”

MVP!
19. When your exam is in WRA or SCT and there are only 20 people in the whole hall

Its over.
20. And you have to battle with CCTV

21. Checking your results on UMIS after a semester of Quilox and Weekend trips

22. And then when you finally graduate after all the challenges

Tobi Smith

January 20, 2016

Oldies

Babcock, Babcock University, Experience, Living, Nigerian, School, Student Experience, students, Universities
15 Things Only People Still Living With Their Nigerian Parents Can Fully Understand

1. When you have to become their personal driver.

“Oya! Take me to the market.”
2. You, trying to find some privacy.

The absolute worst.
3. When they always manage to find something to lecture you about.

Hay God!
4. When your friends that live alone start complaining about bills.

Who sent you?
5. You, when your friends say they want to visit.

Uhm. Maybe some other time.
6. When they start complaining about you always being in your room.

Can I be, please?
7. When you try to form adult for them.

“Under my roof?”
8. When they start inventing weird chores for you to do.

“Clean the back of the TV and under the car.”
9. When they keep shouting your name without ever saying what they want.

What is it sef?
10. You, when they are sleeping vs. Them, when you are sleeping.

It can pain.
11. When you stay out late without calling them.

“You will come home and meet me.”
12. When they call you to get something that is right beside them.

Na wa oh!
13. When they send you to bring something and you say you couldn’t find it.

“If I go and I find it…”
14. When every small thing you do starts to annoy them.

It’s like it is time to move out.
15. When you’re out with your guys and they call you to start coming home.

See ehn, this one hurts.

Daniel Orubo

December 23, 2015

Oldies

Home, House, Living, Nigeria, Parents
13 Things Most Nigerians Experience At Every Stage In Life

Being born into a Nigerian (in fact, any African) home is different from being born in another home. Just look at how every stage of your life is peculiar.

1. When you are glad you can finally walk and stand on your own.

But they are really happy you can now start doing the dishes.
2. When you hear “Go and wear your slippers so we can go out”.

What a betrayal.
3. When you are hungry and get offered food in public.

And your mum answers “Thanks we just ate before we left home”.
4. When your mum catches you collecting sweets from strangers.

Can the floor just swallow me now?
5. Getting all A’s and one B and you hear “Your mates that had all A’s”.

Why so unappreciative?
6. Getting your clothes two sizes bigger with “You will grow into it”.

Oh great! Just what I needed!
7. When you ask your parents for money, but they are always broke.

Yes I can see that!
8. When its finally the holidays and you get “Are you reading ahead?”

And you reply with “We are on holidays”.
9. And you hear “That is why you never get all A’s”.

Somebody cannot even play with you small.
10. The dreaded 4 hour speech when you are leaving for university.

Oh Jesus can you come back right now.
11. When you tell your parents you want to quit school to make music.

Are you being manipulated?
12. When you hear “When will you start working” two days after graduation.

Is that how it is done sir?
13. And then you start getting the “When will you marry?”

Please I’m still a baby boy. Of course, when it’s your own turn, you make sure your children go through the same thing. How else will they be alright?!

Tobi Smith

November 25, 2015

Oldies

Adulthood, Childhood, growing up, Living, Nigerian, Parents, Reactions, Teenage

13 Pictures That Will Only Make Sense To The Big Boys And Girls That Live On The Island

1. How all your friends see you.

2. How you drive to work on the mainland because everyone in Lagos is facing traffic, but you’re against it.

3. When your friends working on the island are using your house as hotel.

4. When you buy something on the island and the price is x 100.

5. When you tell potential boyfriends you live in VGC.

6. When you discover one very cheap shop on the mainland.

7. Your face when you have to travel all the way to the mainland on the weekend.

8. When all your friends are living on the mainland.

9. When you get a job on the island and your boss thinks you should resume 7 am, because you ‘live nearby’.

10. You, when mainland people start hating because you get to attend all the cool events.

11. When one toaster says he lives in Ikorodu.

12. When Epe and Lakowe people are forming ‘Island’ too.

13. When one small rain starts, and every where turns into River Niger!

19 Pictures That Accurately Describe Living In Ijebu Ode

1. How people act when you tell them you live in Ijebu Ode.

2. When you hear that there’s finally a cinema in Ijebu Ode.

3. When you get to the cinema and they’re still showing movies from last year.

4. When Chicken Republic and Tantalizers came to Ijebu Ode but Mosun Cafe managed to chase them away.

5. When you were happy when Savoury opened but then you heard their prices.

6. Mosun Cafe on a Sunday.

7. When you want to go to the mall and you have to make the 45 minute drive to Ibadan.

8. When you’re trying go somewhere within town and the keke guy calls 100 naira.

9. When you realize that Ijebu Ode is almost as crowded as Lagos.

10. How you look at Lagos people with their banned okada.

11. When the bike man asks where in Erunwon and you say “around Ilese..”

12. When people that live in Ijebu Mushin and Ijebu Itele also say they live in Ijebu Ode.

13. When policemen try to stop you and they’re not holding guns.

14. Ijebu Ode banks and closing early.

15. You waiting on an ATM queue in Ijebu Ode.

16. When you get back from New Market and you start telling your mom the prices.

17. When you see a masquerade in Ijebu.

18. When someone says Ijebu Ode is local.

19. When an original Ijebu person cooks you that fire Ikokore.

22 Things Only People Who Attended Babcock Can Completely Relate To

1. When you are trying to sleep but the porter has 1000 announcements at 6 AM

2. You finally dress in your best outfit and KDS says it’s not compliant

3. When you are late for your 7 AM and there is no keke anywhere

4. When you have to wake up super early for Spirikoko

5. The struggle to get an exeat during spiritual week

6. When it is school fees season

7. When you’re trying to ‘dorcas’ and KDS is being extra

8. When you see your lecturer for the semester is renowned for giving carry overs and 49’s

9. When you have to do three GEDS in one semester

10. When it is time for mid semester after spiritual week

11. Heading to ‘Caf’ for special sabbath lunch

12. When there are six parties in Lagos and everybody is going to be there

13. Walking in and out of your hall when you’ve settled the hall administrator for the semester

14. When they start smoking on your block

15. When they say chapel seminar will determine if you graduate or not

16. When you see someone with 06/ matric number in your 11/ class

17. Church services when it is exam period

18. When the lecturer says “next class is for AOC”

19. When your exam is in WRA or SCT and there are only 20 people in the whole hall

20. And you have to battle with CCTV

21. Checking your results on UMIS after a semester of Quilox and Weekend trips

22. And then when you finally graduate after all the challenges

15 Things Only People Still Living With Their Nigerian Parents Can Fully Understand

1. When you have to become their personal driver.

2. You, trying to find some privacy.

3. When they always manage to find something to lecture you about.

4. When your friends that live alone start complaining about bills.

5. You, when your friends say they want to visit.

6. When they start complaining about you always being in your room.

7. When you try to form adult for them.

8. When they start inventing weird chores for you to do.

9. When they keep shouting your name without ever saying what they want.

10. You, when they are sleeping vs. Them, when you are sleeping.

11. When you stay out late without calling them.

12. When they call you to get something that is right beside them.

13. When they send you to bring something and you say you couldn’t find it.

14. When every small thing you do starts to annoy them.

15. When you’re out with your guys and they call you to start coming home.

13 Things Most Nigerians Experience At Every Stage In Life

Being born into a Nigerian (in fact, any African) home is different from being born in another home. Just look at how every stage of your life is peculiar.

1. When you are glad you can finally walk and stand on your own.

2. When you hear “Go and wear your slippers so we can go out”.

3. When you are hungry and get offered food in public.

4. When your mum catches you collecting sweets from strangers.

5. Getting all A’s and one B and you hear “Your mates that had all A’s”.