Today is Lionel Messi’s 33rd birthday. For those people who don’t know Messi (which I doubt), he is an Argentine professional footballer who plays as a forward and captains both Spanish club Barcelona and the Argentina national team.
Even when he was not celebrating his birthday, Nigerian football fanatics will not let us rest. Now that today is his birthday, best believe that casala has jammed wahala. And we are here to bring you the scoop.
1. Aunty Iyabo who is giving out 10G of free data to Barca fans.
Aunty Iyabo spending. Plis ma, our jersey is still with the tailor. Can we tie wrapper and come?
2. Erm… is this not from a Celine Dion song?
Celine Dion works hard, but Barca fans work harder sha.
3. Mister Oyin wey dey fry dodo.
4. This thing about calling Messi the GOAT…
The first thing I almost always imagine is Messi as goat meat pepper soup. I swear, I’m not cannibalistic in nature, my inner longer throat just jumps out sometimes.
5. My Happiness…
God when? Why? How? Where? Who? What? Why? Whence? Whoomst?
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6. This tweet smells like what Nigerian parents might tweet.
Eg: My child cannot bite someone else’s child. I did not raise a cannibal. I know my son Chukwuebuka well. Chukwuebuka, tell me you did not bite him. You see? He did not bite him.
7. Toh.
Refer to the above, please. Ike gwuru.
8. Which smile abeg?
The hianity.
9. What in the future preparations is this tweet?
Let the man live, abeg.
10. And finally, the GOAT with a goat.
Two goats, one which is eatable and the other which eats goals. Haq, see bars!
As we celebrate Messi’s 33rd birthday, here’s something for football fans who do a lirru bit of betting: Have You Ever Lost Money To Football Betting? We Know Your Story