It kills me when movies make it look like clothes shopping is the most fun experience on the planet. I bet they would rethink that stance if they ever went shopping for clothes in Nigerian markets.

Nigerian markets are designed to stress you. The whole idea is to wear you out so the sellers can successfully use Houdini-style trickery to make you buy a ton of stuff you don’t need/want, leaving you to let out a defeated “NO!” when you get home and all the shirts you bought fit like training bras.

Remember the Houdini-style trickery I mentioned earlier? Turns out that it’s not that complex. All you have to do is listen closely to for lies so you don’t fall victim.

Lies like:

They actually have no idea who you are and only say this to make your lower your guard.

They’re not from your tribe. A lot of these people are bi-lingual and switch tribes depending on whoever walks into their shop. I won’t even lie, it’s a neat trick. I’m super impressed whenever I see it happen.

They, in fact, just called price for you and intend to cheat you. They’ll seem super convincing too, swearing on the graves of their parents who, unbeknownst to you, aren’t even dead.

Wheeeew chile…the ridiculousness.

These niggas will have you, a sane human, out in public chewing on leather belts and slippers like some kind of goat. Next thing you know, you’re trending on Twitter.

It’s not the same price everywhere. They want to rip you off and just don’t want you walking off and buying it cheaper elsewhere.

Sis (and I mean this in a gender-neutral way), that thing is not your correct size and does not fit you die. They say this when they know you can’t think straight because you’re too exhausted from walking everywhere.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.