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  • All the Reasons Why Nigerian Women Lie

    First off, forget the title. Nigerian women don’t lie. But since Nigerian men, the real liars, argue online every other day that women are more guilty than they are, we’ve compiled seven reasons why a Nigerian woman MAY lie.

    To test you

    Nigerian women are the prize, so of course, they need to make sure you’re worth it. And what’s a better way to know a man’s true intentions than by lying to him?

    To protect you

    They don’t call it the “harsh” truth for nothing. The truth hurts like hell. And everyone knows a woman would go the extra mile to protect the ones she loves. 

    Laziness

    People who are too lazy to eat. You expect them to be recounting accurate details of their life? You sef think about it.

    To protect themselves

    Nigerian men are wicked, but women wickeda dan them. First, you tell the truth. Then you wake up at 6 a.m. to cook. What’s next? Buying him expensive gifts? Eww.

    For cruise sake 

    And you all say women are not funny? Living in Nigeria is hard enough, so you can’t be serious, telling the truth all the time joor

    Negative influence

    Bad communication corrupts good manners. And most women have many male friends, so when you deep it, it’s their lies rubbing off on the women. 

    So peace can reign

    Imagine all the fights that’d happen if women actually told the truth. If she told you she would rather chew glass than endure another gruelling round of sex with you, or she’s only with you for your money, what would you do? 

    Abeg, we can’t have another war in this country. 

    ALSO READ: Nigerian Women and Their Super Intuition

    Meyimi O.

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  • I’m a Compulsive Liar, and I Can’t Help It

    A pathological liar is someone who constantly lies without much awareness. They have a false sense of reality and will never admit they’re liars. They lie to gain things, change stories, get their way and are superb exaggerators. 

    A compulsive liar, on the other hand, lies out of habit. They lie about everything, big or small. They lie for no apparent reason, and sometimes, telling the truth is awkward and uncomfortable. Many times, they find it easier to avoid confrontations with facts. When I made the journo request to interview a compulsive or pathological liar, I doubted that I’d find someone willing to talk to me. That was until I got a WhatsApp message from Rebecca*. Rebecca, 25, believes she’s a compulsive liar, and she told me her story.

    A black woman with an afro

    How and when did you discover you were a compulsive liar?

    I’ve always been aware that it’s easier for me to lie than tell the truth, even when I don’t need to. I’m the type of person that can come up with a lie on the spot, even if it’s not a well thought out lie. Other times, I know how to plan my lies effectively so people don’t know I’m lying, which frequently involves creatively coming up with stories. But it wasn’t until the beginning of 2021 that I realised it was a problem I had. 

    What made you realise it was a problem? 

    I started dating someone, and I didn’t want to lie to this person. What made me realise my lying was a big issue was that it was hard for me not to lie to them. Not lying should be a normal thing, and it shouldn’t be difficult. After this, I started thinking about all the lies I had told in the past, and that’s when I knew I had a problem. 

    Why don’t you want to lie to your boyfriend specifically? What about everyone else in your life? 

    I don’t want to lie to him because of how deeply I care about him. For the first time in my life, I’m with someone who loves and will do anything for me. It wouldn’t be fair to lie to such a person. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel bad when I lie to my friends or family members, but that has never been enough to stop me. 

    What type of lies have you told your family members? 

    I think one of the biggest lies I’ve told a family member is that I was suicidal. My guardian had been complaining about how distant I was from everyone in the family, and how I never spoke and always kept to myself. She struggled to understand why I was the way I was. One day, I told her it was because I was depressed and had been thinking about ending my life. The truth is, I was depressed, but I wasn’t suicidal. I’m fond of infusing my lies with the truth. 

    RELATED: QUIZ: How Much Of a Liar Are You?

    I’m curious to know how the whole suicidal thing went.

    My family got me help in the form of a therapist that I spoke to weekly. He eventually diagnosed me with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. The bipolar diagnosis confused me because I didn’t think I was bipolar. I never felt like I was. This made me see another therapist, and he confirmed that I wasn’t. 

    Upset Afro Girl Waiting For Important Call, Sitting On Couch With Cellphone At Home, Free Space

    Why do you infuse your lies with the truth?

    I do it because I think it makes the lies more believable. It also makes me feel less guilty. I felt bad about the suicidal lie, but at least my family found out about my depression and got me help, so some good came out of it. I definitely could have gone about it differently, though.

    Do you lie on a daily basis? 

    No, and that’s why I didn’t consider my lying for the longest time. The majority of my lies are things like lying to my parents about where I’m going, even when there’s no need to lie. Other times, I just exaggerate some stories that I tell my friends about things that happen to me or make up some stories from scratch. I’ve also lied to my bosses, past and present, to get days off or resign.

    Resign? 

    I once told my boss I had a serious illness that required long term care and had to resign. I told her I was sad about leaving, but the doctor said I wasn’t allowed to do anything that would stress me, and that included work. Now that I think about it, I could have just said I was no longer interested. I felt terrible that I lied like that, mainly because she felt sorry for me and prayed for me constantly. She even told me I could take a sabbatical and return, but I said no. 

    Wow

    I haven’t even told you about the time I lied to my ex-boyfriend about being pregnant for him. He had just broken up with me at the time, and I wanted to get his attention and see if he still cared about me. When I told him, he offered to pay for an abortion, but I told him no and that I wanted to do another test first. I didn’t want his money; I just wanted his attention mostly. Days later, I told him the other test I took was negative. And that was the end of it. I even told some of my friends. I don’t know why I did that. I guess I was sad and I wanted some form of affectionate attention. 

    Actually, I think the biggest lie I’ve ever told is that I have a ceratin disorder, even though I haven’t been diagnosed. Although I truly believe I have this disorder, I just don’t have the money to see a specialist to diagnose me. But I lie that I’ve been diagnosed so as to not look stupid.

    Why do you lie? What pushes you to lie?

    There isn’t one single reason why I lie if I’m being honest. Sometimes I lie just because I think it’s easier than telling the truth. Like when I lie to my parents or my friends. For example, sometimes I lie about songs I’ve listened to or movies I’ve watched. Other times I lie for attention or to make my life seem more interesting like when I lie about men hitting on me to make my boyfriend jealous. Other times I just lie for no reason.  There’s no particular process, nothing special goes through my head when I’m about to lie, it just happens. 

    RELATED: Nigerian Men Lie, but Only for These 7 Reasons

    Why did you decide to do this interview?

    Because this is my chance to speak to someone about it. Someone who has no connection to me whatsoever. Having a problem and having no one to talk to about it can be frustrating. I stopped therapy a while ago because it got expensive, but I don’t even think this is something I would have mentioned to my therapist. So when someone in a WhatsApp group I’m on, mentioned that a writer was looking to interview a pathological or compulsive liar, I thought it was weird. But I decided to reach out to the person because I saw this as my opportunity to have a chance to speak to someone and get some of the guilt off my chest. 

    I feel bad for all the lies I tell. I really do. Even though many of them aren’t exactly lies that hurt people, they’re still lies. But I can’t help myself. Even with my boyfriend, he’s the person I least lie to, but once in a while I still lie to him about minor things and I hate it. I need help. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to help myself or if I’ll ever get any help from anyone. But I know I need help. 

    Aren’t you worried that your family or people you know might see this? 

    I am, and that’s why I was very particular about the situations I told you about and why I wasn’t very descriptive. My family and my ex aren’t on social media, so I know they won’t see this. And if they somehow do, I’ll lie my way out of it. 

    ALSO READ: I Found Out I’m the Reason My Wife and I Can’t Have Kids

    Dammy Eneli

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  • QUIZ: Can We Guess Your Most Told Lie?

    Which lie do you find it easy to tell? Take the quiz and we’ll expose you:

    Miriam Onyemenam

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  • QUIZ: How Much Of A Liar Are You?

    Do you lie regularly or are you a social liar? Don’t answer because this quiz knows all about you.

    Start here:

    Hassan Yahaya

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  • 6 Ridiculous Lies Movies Tell Nigerian Students About Life On Campus

    If you watched a lot of movies set on university campuses before you actually got admitted, there is a possibility that you had a wrong idea of how things work in these places. Here are some of the lies movies have told us about life at the university:

    1. The lie: You will have a flexible sleep schedule 

    The truth:  Your early morning lectures will rob you of this. Even when you don’t have 7 AM classes to attend, the thought of the assignments you have to turn in will keep you up for a long period of time, downing insane amounts of caffeine or finding other creative ways to stay awake.

    2. The lie: You will have money to eat out all the time

    The truth: Not like you won’t eat at restaurants or anything, but there will be times when you realise that cooking in your hostel is the best thing you can do for yourself.

    3. The lie: You will always hang out with your friends 

    The truth: To be honest, if your friend isn’t in your faculty, department, or hostel, chances are that you won’t see them for weeks non-stop. At best, you will run into them while trying to get to a 9 AM lecture.

    4.The lie: University life is all about parties and getting wasted 

    The truth: Let’s just blame Hollywood for this. No, you won’t go to parties every weekend. And you won’t be hungover when you go to your classes on Monday. Not when you have a lot of courses to catch up on.

    5. The lie: You will be BFFs with your roommate

    The truth: The odds of this happening are actually very small. Sure, you can be friendly with them, but they won’t become the person you tell everything that’s happening in your life. Besides, you will likely change rooms and get new roommates every year. You can’t be best friends with all of them.

    6. The lie: You will have a very active love life

    The truth: See ehn, partners are hard to find, even in universities crawling with young and horny adults. 

    Toheeb Lanlehin

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  • 10 Violent Lies Every Unemployed Person Has Told At A Job Interview

    Unemployment is a terrible thing. It’s ten times worse in Nigeria. Today, I remembered all the promises I made before getting my current job. After talking to some friends about it, I realized we are all living the same lives.

    Here a few violent lies we have all told:

    1) “This is my dream job.”

    Truth: Help me, I don’t want to be poor.

    2) “I can work long hours.”

    Truth: I was only joking. It was just a joke.

    3) “This is how much I earned at my previous job.”

    Truth: I have inflated the peanut I was earning by 3 in the hopes that I can finally leave poverty behind. For good.

    4) “I like additional responsibility.”

    Truth: I can die if you give me more work.

    5) “In 5 years time, I still see myself in this company.”

    Truth: I am using this job to raise funds for Canada.

    6) “I work well under pressure.”

    Truth: If you stress me too much, I can die.

    Fainting man. Zikoko Half-naked

    7) It’s not even about the money, it’s about passion.”

    Truth: Yimu.

    8) “I am looking for a challenge.”

    Truth: I am super super lazy.

    9) “I don’t mind the distance.”

    Truth: Cries internally.

    10) “I am ready to resume as soon as you need me.”

    Truth: Can you just be paying me while I sit at home?

    Hassan Yahaya

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  • 8 Lies People Tell On Social Media Every Day

    You’re never laughing out loud when you type this. Hell, half the time, you probably never even find the thing you’ve been sent funny. I’m pretty sure you just type it to make the other person feel better. You might feel like the end justifies the means but a lie is a lie, you liar.

    The best you probably do when you type this is a breathy chuckle. And the last time I checked, a breathy chuckle wasn’t enough to separate your ass from your body, you deceiver.

    This one is super annoying because it’s a two-for-one lie combo. You’re not laughing and you sure as hell don’t even have a fat ass. Go do some squats, you fabricator.

    Another two-for-one lie combo. Not laughing and not rolling on the floor. Drop to the floor and gave me 20 HA-HAs right this instant, you fibber.

    Did you really scream if your neighbours (who couldn’t care less for you but just don’t want to write police statement if you die mysteriously) don’t come knocking at your door to make sure you’re ok? Make some noise, you phoney.

    Where are the tears? Where is the snot? If you’re not serving Viola Davis realness, I don’t want any part of it, you fraud.

    Stop appropriating asthma culture, you con artist.

    And yet there you are, still alive and kicking. What do you have to say for yourself, you fucking trickster??

    RECOMMENDED: 8 Lies You Need To Watch Out For In Nigerian Markets

    Astor George

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  • 15 Reasons Every Nigerian Grew Up With Trust Issues

    Due to all the lies we were sold by our Nigerian parents, a lot of us grew up with serious trust issues. Here are 15 of the worst ones that shaped the way we behave today.

    1. Hearing “Beans will make you tall,” but you’re still the size of bedside fridge.

    Chai! All that beans I ate.

    2. When your father told you to go and wear your shoes, but then drove off.

    The pain is still fresh.

    3. When you asked your parents for a Game Boy and they got you:

    ARE THEY THE SAME?

    4. The Barney and Father Christmas your school brought for the end-of-the-year party:

    Who are these ones?

    5. When you finally came first and reminded your father that he promised to buy you something.

    Ah! Is it like that?

    6. When you ask your mother for all the money she has been “helping” you save.

    “Have you not been eating in my house?”

    7. When your mother told you that your agemates will be at the Owambe, but you only see adults.

    The worst.

    8. You, the first time you saw someone put stew on their jollof rice:

    What is doing you?

    9. Whenever you opened that icecream container you saw in the freezer.

    THE DISAPPOINTMENT!

    10. When your mother that beat you for lying told you to lie that she is not around.

    Oh? It’s like that?

    11. Whenever you opened the Danish cookies container in your mother’s room.

    THE BETRAYAL!

    12. When that shirt your mother swore you’d “grow into” is still not your size 10 years later.

    See why I don’t trust people.

    13. When your father just zooms past Mr. Biggs on the way from church.

    If we don’t eat meatpie on Sunday, when will we ehn?

    14. When your mother that said “let’s be going” an hour ago is still gisting.

    Can we go oh?

    15. When your mother that said “tell the truth, I won’t beat you” says “go and bring the cane.”

    Na me mess up sha.

    NerdEfiko

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  • 6 Of The Biggest Lies Nigerians Have Told About Money

    “Money slow to enter, but money quick to go” – M.I

    These are the lyrics to one of the greatest songs to grace the Nigerian airways. It’s apt because everyone on some level can relate to a money struggle. Whether directly or indirectly.

    According to Marty Byrde – Money at its essence is a measure of a man’s choices. So, what choices have you had to make because of a money issue?

    We asked people to tell us the biggest lies they have had to tell because of money.

    The undercover millionaire.

    I recently got a new job that pays me 1 million Naira a month. However, I told my family members that I took a salary cut to join this company. I am trying to complete a project and I don’t want black tax to finish me. It was easy to sell this lie because the company is low-key and unpopular unlike my old one. The reason I even earn well is because the head quarters is not based in Nigeria. My mum has been sending me “something to manage” every month and I feel bad. But I can’t tell her. At least, not yet.

    The playbook scammer.

    I met this guy that used to shower me with expensive gifts. Then suddenly he started needing little sums because of “bank issues” and he’s expecting some money. I sha made sure I borrowed him the equivalent of the cost of gifts he had bought for me. When I got to the mark, I cut him off. It’s not me he will finish. I have seen plenty of his type in this Abuja.

    Landlord posing as tenant.

    The house I live in is part of my inheritance. But my friends are always complaining about paying rent and how tough it is. So, to not stand out, I pretend to have rent money issues. I don’t want them to think I have arrived or something. I was just lucky to have inherited a house early.

    The hustler.

    I lied to my friends about how much I earn monthly. I inflated it to two times the actual amount. My friends are rich and nice people and I don’t want to look like a charity case to them. They are already wary that people only befriend them because they have money. So, I don’t want to prove them right. They are the kind of people to casually set me up on a monthly salary to supplement my income. If I allow that, it’s only a matter of time before resentment kicks in.

    I will keep pushing until one day I don’t have to lie about how much I earn.

    A finesser.

    I was at a job interview. They asked me how much I was earning at my last place, I told them N170,000 and I was hoping to move to N250,000 gross. That was a big lie. I was earning N70,000 but doing the work of N170,000. So, I only pegged it at the volume of work I was doing. After a series of back and forth, I ended up collecting three times my old salary.

    You know what? I’d gladly do it again.

    The childhood fraudster.

    My grandmother used to save money with me. Money from visitors and her children. Then, she died suddenly. My dad who knew about this money came to ask for it but I told him that she collected it a few weeks before she died. I don’t know if it was because of grief, but I somehow got away with it. The sad part was that we moved houses and I forgot the money in my hiding place. Till today, it still pains me.

    If you enjoyed reading this, here are happy thoughts to keep you company.

    Click here for happy thoughts.

    Hassan Yahaya

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  • 10 Corporate Lies That Can’t Fly In This Work From Home Season

    Working from home has advantages as well as its disadvantages. The obvious ones is that some of the lies we use to avoid work can’t fly anymore.

    Here are some of the excuses we can no longer use for now.

    1) “I was late because of traffic.”

    Traffic from my bed to the work station.

    2) “I had to drop my kids in school.”

    I am not lying.

    3) “I have to leave early to attend P.T.A meeting.”

    It’s a Zoom meeting pls.

    4) “I have to leave early to beat traffic.”

    The holdup around that my side is bad. Especially from work table junction to bed street.

    5) “Bus broke down.”

    Where bus = my motivation to work. Bus is me, I am bus.

    6) “Police stopped me.”

    It’s God that saved me.

    7) “I had a flat tyre.”

    Pls. Believe me.

    8) “Bus took a wrong route.”

    And we were warning the driver.

    9) “Trailer fell.”

    Ojuelegba is currently blocked.

    10) “It rained.”

    Water entered my house and I was packing it.

    Click here for happy thoughts.

    Hassan Yahaya

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  • 8 Lies You Need To Watch Out For In Nigerian Markets

    It kills me when movies make it look like clothes shopping is the most fun experience on the planet. I bet they would rethink that stance if they ever went shopping for clothes in Nigerian markets.

    Nigerian markets are designed to stress you. The whole idea is to wear you out so the sellers can successfully use Houdini-style trickery to make you buy a ton of stuff you don’t need/want, leaving you to let out a defeated “NO!” when you get home and all the shirts you bought fit like training bras.

    Remember the Houdini-style trickery I mentioned earlier? Turns out that it’s not that complex. All you have to do is listen closely to for lies so you don’t fall victim.

    Lies like:

    They actually have no idea who you are and only say this to make your lower your guard.

    They’re not from your tribe. A lot of these people are bi-lingual and switch tribes depending on whoever walks into their shop. I won’t even lie, it’s a neat trick. I’m super impressed whenever I see it happen.

    They, in fact, just called price for you and intend to cheat you. They’ll seem super convincing too, swearing on the graves of their parents who, unbeknownst to you, aren’t even dead.

    Wheeeew chile…the ridiculousness.

    These niggas will have you, a sane human, out in public chewing on leather belts and slippers like some kind of goat. Next thing you know, you’re trending on Twitter.

    It’s not the same price everywhere. They want to rip you off and just don’t want you walking off and buying it cheaper elsewhere.

    Sis (and I mean this in a gender-neutral way), that thing is not your correct size and does not fit you die. They say this when they know you can’t think straight because you’re too exhausted from walking everywhere.

    LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    Astor George

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  • All The Things We Say We Will Never Do Again But Somehow Still Do

    1. “I will never call my ex again”

    Well, guess who’s calling their ex?

    2. “I will never use (insert your most frustrating network provider here) ever again”

    Then the network comes up with some ridiculously amazing tariff plan and of course, guess who’s buying a recharge card?

    3. “Data is so expensive! I’m not buying data ever again!”

    Yeeeaahh…right…

    4. “I’m never drinking (insert favourite soda here) ever again”

    Guess who’s buying a bottle of coke for lunch?

    5. “I’m never drinking alcohol ever again”

    We all know how that ends. TGIF and a bottle of Orijin…without the zero.

    6. “I’m never going on Twitter ever again”

    Uh…yeah…sure

    Now if you like food very very much, this post is just for you:

    https://zikoko.com/list/9-things-happen-like-food-much/

    Ronke Otega

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  • 12 Presidential Campaign Posters That Were Pure Lies

    We know that politics is a messy game and politicians can never be trusted. When it comes down to it, they’ll tell you whatever you want to hear that will get you to put your guard down.

    And then after they’ll come and be doing you anyhow.

    Their campaign speeches and posters are always full of promises. Then when they get into power, they’ll start to change mouth.

    Just look at these 12 campaign posters from the 2015 elections and see all the lies that full everywhere.
    Bros Ambode promised to “make Lagos work for all”, but the people of Otodo Gbame community beg to disagree. Lagos is not working for them at all. Like, not one bit.
    So many promises for “a better society”, but markets are getting demolished “by mistake”. Is it fair? No, is it fair?
    These ones promised us electricity, affordable kerosine and security. How much more electricity and kerosine have we had? Just how much more secure do we feel?
    Zero corruption? Discipline? Of who? By who?
    Are our passports not still being made in Malaysia? And what about the GEO bill that has been lingering in the Senate forever? What is being done about it?
    Maybe this campaign poster was seeing into the future, because it cannot be a representation of any kind of reality; whether past or current. Which inflation went down? Is it the one in formerly rotund bellies heavy with food? Okay, okay…maybe it’s that one.
    Eyss, just move away with your nonsense trust. Is it you that cannot trust Naija doctors to take care of you? We should now trust you to do what? You’re looking for our trust, where is your own?
    Erm..there’s sha still bad roads now. Infact, worse roads sef. So…hafa?
    I’m not even sure which generation they’re talking about.
    Which good term? No vacancy ko, no accommodation ni. Isn’t it another person that is there now?
    This one is just a big WAWU! All the many incidences of Fulani Herdsmen attacks and religious killings, how many have been addressed personally by the Government? Abeg, abeg…comot for here.
    Hmm! Only saviour indeed! In that case Nigeria is already doomed then. If her “only saviour” has left for medical checkup. How will we ever survive? Who will deliver us?

    Nigerian politicians are just one kind, and this next post is proof:

    https://zikoko.com/list/10-times-meme-aptly-described-nigerian-politicians/

    Ronke Otega

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  • 1. Claim you are pregnant.

    Sorry, baby on board!

    2. Go and forge a wedding certificate.

    I need to cling to my beloved.

    3. Borrow somebody’s toddler and carry them to register.

    Who will help me take care of my baby?

    4. Claim you have one funky disease.

    It’s called “INoFitPhobia”.

    5. Just don’t bother doing NYSC. You will kuku not die!

    I am not doing!

    Jola Ayeye

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  • 1. When your mom told you your stomach would pain you if you sit down on a mortar.

    …because you  sat on it that morning!

    2. When you started your period and your mom said you’ll get pregnant if a boy touches you.

    But Tunde touched me in class o!

    3. When they told you not to beat your junior brother with stick or he’ll become impotent.

    It doesn’t make sense!

    4. When your dad told you your shadow will chase you in the midnight if you keep playing with it.

    And you thought hiding would help your case.

    5. When they lied that you’ll lose your voice if you spit on the road.

    And you believed without evidence o!

    6. When they said evil spirits will chase you if you hiss at night.

    Is it that deep?

    7. How you rushed your beans when your mum said it will make you very tall.

    But you’re still short though!

    8. You, when you swallowed an orange seed and your mom said a tree will grow in your tummy.

    A whole tree in my tummy!

    9. When they said your tummy will gum together if you swallow chewing gum.

    Yeepa!

    10. When you were making funny faces and your grandma said your face will remain like that forever.

    Ah! Abeg oh, it was just small play!

    Shola

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  • If You Know A Semi Professional Liar You Can Relate

    1. When you suggest they tell the truth.

    Never! Not when lying is still an option.

    2. When they start retelling a story you told them, but start adding embellishments.

    Na wa oh!

    3. When you almost catch them in one of their lies but they’re able to tap into a higher level of lying and escape.

    Just look at!

    4. When they finally get caught in a lie and you expect them to apologise, they’re like:

    Sorry for yourself!

    5. How you react when they say “honestly” or “truthfully”.

    Na so.

    6. How they react when someone lies to them.

    Oh so now you know how people feel!

    7. When they are finally telling the truth but nobody believes them.

    But what did they think would happen?

    Jola Ayeye

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  • 15 Lies You’ll Hear When A Nigerian Guy Likes You

    1. “You look familiar.”

    The Nigerian pick-up line as old as our independence.

    2. “I only want to get to know you.”

    He actually means “know” in the biblical sense.

    3. “I just want us to be friends.”

    The screensaver lie. He is still planning you.

    4. “I’m single.”

    Single = Less than 3 women.

    5. “I have a girlfriend but we are having issues.”

    He is the “issue”.

    6. “I’m going to leave her for you.”

    Don’t hold your breath.

    7. “You’re the only girl I’m talking to.”

    You’re not even the only girl he is talking to that second.

    8. “She is just a friend.”

    Yeah, they’ve been “friends” for 5 years and they have 2 children.

    9. “I’m ignoring other girls because of you.”

    Na so.

    10. “I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

    Save it.

    11. “I’m not like other guys.”

    He means he is worse.

    12. “I’d never cheat on you.”

    He actually means he’ll never get caught.

    13. “I don’t play games.”

    He will now turn you to PlayStation.

    14. “I love you.”

    After just 5 minutes of meeting you. Oshey, Disney Prince.

    15. “I’m ready for marriage.”

    You’ll now end up engaged for 10 years.

    Daniel Orubo

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  • 11 Excuses Nigerian Politicians Give For Our Problems
    And sometimes by excuses, we mean lies.  In some cases, they cannot even be bothered to excuse their behavior.

    1. “Why don’t we have fuel?”

    2. “What is being done about those stealing Nigeria’s money?”

    3. “Why don’t we have electricity?”

    4. “Why is there a lack of women’s rights in Nigeria?”

    5. “What is the cause of the high unemployment rate?”

    6. “Why is the government not paying workers’ salaries on time?”

    7. “Why’s the value of the Naira reducing so much?”

    8. “Why is Nigeria in so much debt?”

    9. “What is the current situation with Boko Haram?”

    10. “Why is there so much corruption in Nigeria?”

    11. “Why’s the educational system so bad?”

    Odunayo

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  • A Lady’s Reply To Being Told She’s Beautiful Is Giving Us Life!
    So this young lady did something that some women will never do. At least, not until they’ve reached a certain level of trust with whoever it is.

    An admirer told her she was stunning after seeing her display picture.

    What she did next was brave and hilarious at the same time.

    She sent the guy a picture of what she looked like without her face beat to the gods.

    https://twitter.com/leahsvnchez/status/712314747467788288
    After sharing the photo, she commented “this how I look in real life“.

    You can imagine the guys reaction.

    https://twitter.com/leahsvnchez/status/712368839217061890
    He still thought she was beautiful!

    Well done to the girl for showing her real face!

    [zkk_poll post=25796 poll=content_block_standard_format_5]

    chioma

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  • 10 Most Common Lies Nigerians Tell
    In a lot of instances, Nigerians are quick to dish out excuses or complaints and most of the time, it is really hard to believe them. Here are a few of the regular lies that roll from Nigerian lips.

    1. “I am not at home”

    From creditors to landlords to people who you really do not want to see, this is the number one lie Nigerians tell whoever is home with them to tell on their behalf.

    2. “I’m broke”

    When it is time to contribute, or to spend money, or to buy aso-ebi this is the number one lie. We don’t know if Nigerians are really broke or they are just overly frugal.

    3. “I am stuck in traffic”

    This lie is really particular to Lagosians, and comes in handy because of the regular traffic jams. People could even use this as an excuse to be late to their own funerals.

    4. “I’m a little bit down”

    This is handy for; “Can you come help us set up this event?” “Can you come for the youth meeting?” “Can we get married today?” Nigerians will use this lie to get out of any commitment.

    5. “Trust me I’m not lying”

    This lie is the default red flag for “I am a huge liar”. We have gotten used to it now and we can use it to detect liars from 100 kilometers away.

    6. “I ran out of credit”

    This one works for every situation when you did not communicate properly; ” Why did you not call to inform us?” “Why did you not tell us you were about to die?” Perfect lie to get out of being blamed.

    7. “I’m almost there”

    This is probably a universal lie but Nigerians use this at will. It gets really annoying especially if the person running late has the keys to the house and you really want to use the bathroom.

    8. “Don’t worry I will handle it”

    Nothing screams “I am incompetent” more than this lie. Nigerian tailors use this one like they say “good morning”. When someone tells you this, keep an eye on everything they do.

    9. “My house is not that far”

    Residents of Ajah, Epe, outskirts of Abuja,

    10. “I will pay you back next week, trust me”

    Nigerians do this habitually, well not all Nigerians but the chronic debtors will throw this lie out just to get you to part with your hard earned money. Beware!

    Tobi Smith

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