Laugh | Zikoko!

Nigerians are still hilarious on Twitter today, but there must have been something in the air around 2014 and 2015 that made them extra funny. Here are 23 tweets from that time that prove that point.

1. The tweet about Sugar Daddies.

My friends and I could quite easily have acquired sugar daddies while in Lagos but we did not want to spend your school fees
— Jola (@Jollz) September 17, 2015

2. The tweet about Lagos traffic.

https://twitter.com/iamsupervillain/status/650020557203881984

3. The tweet about having an ugly bae.

Your ugly bae cheats on you and you are just like "Edakun see somebody I was pitying o" pic.twitter.com/2IfL1fLTrG
— The Goddess ✨ (@Brendalishus) September 7, 2015

4. The tweet about NEPA.

Nigerian version of "make hay while the sun shines" is "iron your clothes immediately nepa brings light"
— weird fish (@Sick_Sage) August 16, 2014

5. The tweet about Bella Naija weddings.

Bella Naija will have you thinking your gonna marry one oil tycoon, when it's really Yemi from marketing.
— Fola (@Fola89_) August 13, 2015

6. The tweet about kidnappers.

Kidnappers hand me phone to speak to parents..

Mum: Hello..
Me: Mummy?
Mum: Why didn't you wash your plates before you left this morning?
— Lawrence (@iKillCuriosity) July 11, 2015

7. The tweet about the pain of childbirth.

https://twitter.com/iamsupervillain/status/608890142762393600

8. The tweet about puff puff.

When Puff Puff goes to an Ivy League school and gets a job with Bill Gates pic.twitter.com/8CpJtV2fee
— Tobi (@TheTobiSmith) August 14, 2015

9. The tweet about superstitions.

Nigerians so superstitious. Cabs will refuse to stop just cos you're wearing all black, and it's night, and you're carrying a cutlass…
— weird fish (@Sick_Sage) February 3, 2015

10. The tweet about Nigerian mothers.

https://twitter.com/TheAdenike/status/560511821497761792

11. The tweet about getting married.

I can't stand these grown men thinking they're too young for marriage, smh Adam was only 7 days old when he married Eve
— Old Miami (@flyChy) January 7, 2015

12. The tweet about wedding aso-ebi.

300k asoebi means I've bought shares in your marriage. I'll be expecting quarterly reports.
— This Ken is Manic (@TheBlackHermit) October 24, 2014

13. The tweet about shopping.

When you ask how much something is and it's expensive you pretend you're interested even though spiritually you're already on the bus home
— Chisom (@FLOTUK) December 24, 2014

14. The tweet about Instagram chefs.

Instagram chefs won't just say Eba and okra, they be like parboiled cassava grains with finesse chopped okra and bells peppers.
— consigliere ³⁵ (@moyodre) October 16, 2014

15. The tweet about marine spirits.

When she's almost taken you into her marine kingdom & the spirit of God suddenly descends on you. pic.twitter.com/I4tReQQwT8
— É (@Ebuka__N) September 30, 2014

16. The tweet about bad breakups.

When you're trying to forget a bad relationship and ya teacher tells you to find x pic.twitter.com/nXWrfmZwoL
— Shakabula (@muna_nz) September 22, 2014

17. The tweet about meat.

When you go back to naija after your Masters and the house girl still serves you 2 pieces of meat pic.twitter.com/3HbmjcoHZy
— consigliere ³⁵ (@moyodre) August 8, 2014

18. The tweet about Nigerian customer service.

I hope those Nigerians in customer service know that when their prayers reach Heaven, they also meet attendants gisting and watching Afmag.
— Wale Lawal (@WalleLawal) December 10, 2014

19. The tweet about job Interviews.

Me: I'm Nigerian
White interviewer: Ohhh
Me: plis dun do it
White interviewer: Yuno my father volunteered in Keny…
Me: oh mah god 😪
— g of the fire nation (@_gflex) October 10, 2015

20. The tweet about soup.

Everytime Breastmilk… u no de cook soup?????? pic.twitter.com/vTTAcrvsax
— . (@Olajvde) July 23, 2015

21. The tweet about the Choc boys.

Imagine watching the choc boys on a 3D Samsung TV.

You'll see HD ice prince.

You'l see HD Jesse Jags.

You'l see HDMI.
— Baby Shaynee (@Quickiepaedia) June 14, 2015

22. The tweet about candy crush.

https://twitter.com/SirLeoBDasilva/status/646449473619668993

23. The tweet about Nigerian driving instructors.

Nigerian driving instructor: "Oya Come, Come"
"Oya CUT YOUR HAND, CUT YOUR HAND"
"CUT IT FULL"
Me: pic.twitter.com/eur8ITjpKL
— People Displeaser. (@Dotun__A) July 17, 2015

NerdEfiko

May 18, 2020

Oldies

Laugh, Nigerian, tweets
1. This one about buttocks

No matter how much the buttocks are in a hurry, they will always remain behindNigerian proverbs

2. Why hasn’t this happened, really?

A child can play with its mother’s breasts, but not its father’s testicles

3. I have kuku said love is a scam

It’s better to fall from a tree and a break your back than to fall in love and break your heart

4. Why is there a fly on your scrotum in the first place?

It requires a lot of carefulness to kill the fly that perches on the scrotum

5. The man with the fufu has everything already

Man wey carry Ogbono soup pot for hand, and the man wey carry fufu for head, na who go find who go?

6. My anger is very hot, let’s put this to a test

Anger, no matter how hot it is, can never cook yam.

7. Why would anyone even do this?

He who swallows a complete coconut have absolute trust in his anus

8. Very useful for people who lack respect

Snails don’t venture where horned animals gather

9. I have done this, so….

You cannot run and scratch your anus at the same time

10. Truly and honestly

There is no greater injustice than when anus farts, head receives a knock

11. This makes sense, literally

He who sleeps with itchy anus must wake up with smelly fingers

12. So the handsomeness of the male monkey must be imaginary too

The beauty of a female monkey is imaginary to the husband (Zambia)

13. Poor goat!

The frown on the face of a goat will not stop it from being priced in the market

14. This is why aunties and uncles don’t mind their business!

It takes a whole village to raise a child

Shola

March 20, 2017

Oldies

Funny, funny nigerians, hilarious, Laugh, nigerian proverbs
It’s 2017, a brand new year, but nothing has changed for Nigerian tailors.

There’s no doubt they were put on this earth to just frustrate your life.

This lady’s poor friend asked for one thing and they gave her a shocker!

My friend just sent me pictures of what she asked for and what got delivered to her, I am in tearssss 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/hNBlk6ddNN
— Jay jay. (@Dcheddah) January 8, 2017

What did we just see, please?

Someone now replied with a picture that will blow your mind.

All she wanted was a dope jumpsuit…

https://twitter.com/Slimzronke/status/818072993842614274

Will Nigerian tailors make heaven like this?

Diz tew much!

Shola

January 12, 2017

Gist

Funny, Laugh, Nigeria, nigerian tailors, Nigerians
1. When you are broke:

Me: Madam, give me rice 50 Naira in a nylon. Madam: okay.. And what? Me: And
TIE it.
— Damorela (@damorela00) February 19, 2016

2. This subtle shade at igbo names:

Not sure if this is motivational or an Igbo wedding. pic.twitter.com/lCmBwyzx44
— People Displeaser. (@Dotun__A) August 8, 2016

3. The fear of MOPOL:

Text-driving in traffic then you mistakenly bash the MOPOL Hilux in front of you and now they're climbing down… pic.twitter.com/0ZANp2pnA2
— Squiggly line (@TheGreyGenesis) January 15, 2016

4. The Nigerian “wrong number” epidemic:

Somewhere In Nigeria an Aboki is busy dialling a wrong number.
— Uchenna S.O (@Uchez2) March 15, 2016

https://twitter.com/PRINCE_VIII/status/704048196167868416

6. This Christmas curve:

https://twitter.com/Lamide_/status/674390895186329600

7. The real use of Nigerian ovens:

Nigerian ovens are for storing frying pans not baking or grilling.
— Leema Mason (@HausaChocolate) August 7, 2016

8. Flavour’s accurate new name:

Flavour out here looking like an Igbo Vampire.

Drakwulapic.twitter.com/UDRqtD3CeT
— nenibeh (@mhagayr) August 8, 2016

9. This valid concern:

I hope this doesn't mean she has pocketed his destiny oh.. pic.twitter.com/DvSp21N95W
— peppered gizzard (@Dele_Sanchez) August 8, 2016

10. This tweet about the “giant of Africa”:

Used to remember when Nigeria claimed to be the giant of Africa now all we have is crude oil and wizkid
— Oluwaseyi 🇬🇧🇳🇬 (@sway_gha) August 4, 2016

11. This perfect Nigerianism:

https://twitter.com/Adeola_Cule/status/761107613291388929

12. This tweet about 50 cent:

https://twitter.com/BrianJDennis/status/761475614415159296

13. This tweet that is as funny as it is sad:

You know when your slippers has almost cut, but you're trying to manage it till you get home?
That's Nigeria rn.
— Mazi (@chukkietweets) July 30, 2016

14. This tweet about traffic in Nigeria:

Nigerians looking at that other lane and wondering why there's traffic. pic.twitter.com/qXrybJQHmO
— (II+) (@ACMilandrew) June 22, 2016

15. When your boyfriend is an enemy of progress:

https://twitter.com/tolaakinn/status/756512035672821760

16. This I-Just-Got-Back’s story:

https://twitter.com/Ralph_Lewis/status/241160101002637312

17. This tweet about Caitlyn Jenner:

https://twitter.com/IBRAHEEYM/status/751831152315490304

Daniel Orubo

August 10, 2016

Oldies

Funny, hilarious, Laugh, Nigerian, tweets
1. Google maps and Nigeria:

When you follow Google maps in Nigeria pic.twitter.com/hXp27YNKu5
— Chief Edozie (@UncleSamad_) September 7, 2015

2. This I-Just-Got-Back:

https://twitter.com/Ralph_Lewis/status/241160101002637312

3. Our favorite pastor:

https://twitter.com/3HunnanSosa/status/597179043235106818

4. When greener pastures are calling.

https://twitter.com/El_swaGz/status/728239491962523648

5. This tweet about the generous Aunty Linda:

Knock knock

Who's there

Linda Ikeji

Linda Ikeji who?

Linda Ikeji who gave another woman 500 thous, duh. How many times will I now say it
— Book of Puns: Two Lovers & A Genie (@Snikoggs) April 18, 2016

6. The Nigerian tailor wahala:

Me: I want it just like the pic. Are you sure you can sew it well?
Seamstress: what? Me? Of course. very well! pic.twitter.com/RO0MhsZp4B
— Old Miami (@flyChy) May 13, 2016

7. This one about Nigerian mothers:

When your mum is beating your sibling so you have to look responsible to avoid slap pic.twitter.com/tobPin5zlj
— Dee’s Clutch Purse (@bettyvonlittle) May 6, 2016

8. The jollof wars:

9. The only excuse for “protecting” a Nokia phone:

10. This flawless humble-brag:

https://twitter.com/iamsupervillain/status/730386633900605441

11. This one about cocaine:

https://twitter.com/Cuntosaur/status/727221008243916800

12. The one about motivational speakers:

https://twitter.com/_Lolu/status/666347614527426560

13. This near death experience:

When Rihanna's Shut Up and Drive is playing,and your dad asks you the name of the song https://t.co/c0IRJeE9KT
— Fit Fat Belly ‘Nenye (@The_Nenye) April 21, 2016

14. This one about travelling with your parents:

https://twitter.com/ItsBollyLomo/status/493826793699565569

15. The deceit:

https://twitter.com/iamsupervillain/status/726689179325878272

Daniel Orubo

May 18, 2016

Oldies

Funny, Laugh, Nigeria, Pictures, tweets
1. The one about Nigerian fathers

Every. Nigerian. Father.
2. The one about Nigerian mothers

Sorry ma!
3. The one about watching TV with your parents

Hay God!
4. This picture of fear

Just disappear.
5. This catering menu

They did not born you well to misspell Jollof rice.
6. The one about side chicks

Real friends.
7. The one about Buhari

Well…
8. The one about GEJ

At least he is trying.
9. The one about our exchange rate

The pain.
10. The one about a child’s ticket

You can’t argue with that.
11. This gym

This is the most Nigerian thing ever.
12. The one about church

Every Nigerian mother.
13. The typical Nigerian aunty

Amebo is in their blood.
14. This architect that has a lot of explaining to do

Maybe they did not pay him his balance.
15. The one about washing dishes

Unless you will help me wash it just save it, biko.
16. The real use of the head

Is it a lie though?
17. The one about finding love

You want to kill your mother?
18. This unofficial reason all Nigerian parents have children

The worst.
19. This serious prayer point

Oya, start praying.

Daniel Orubo

April 22, 2016

Oldies

african, Funny, hilarious, Laugh, LMAO, LOL, Nigerian, Pictures
1. This tweet about paternity

https://twitter.com/Punthief/status/600575081316757504

2. This tweet about fainting

My most embarrassing moment has to be when I fainted at Ojuelegba and the woman that poured water on me kept asking 'Dee you do aboshan?' 😢
— Sweet Ope (@SwitOpe) March 5, 2015

3. This tweet about the tomato

Lol what's the tomato doing there? Does it want to take a corner kick? 😂 pic.twitter.com/663fbVt3xM
— Omeiza (@Jatsabdul) January 7, 2016

4. This tweet about hiding your girlfriend

You cannot hide me oh. My yoruba will come out and thats how I'll just greet your mum from under the bed because I have home training
— Jola (@Jollz) September 23, 2015

5. This tweet about Olajumoke’s husband

https://twitter.com/MrOkeke_/status/699365924588142594

6. This tweet about MTN

Girl: No you hang up
Guy: No you hang up
Girl: Awwwww, No you hang up.

MTN: pic.twitter.com/sBVpNaClMv
— TheNigerianWeirdo (@NigerianWeirdo) October 14, 2015

7. This tweet about shopping

Nigerian: How much is this black Cartier watch?
Cashier: N850k sir. N: Hmmn. C: Do I bring it? N: Don’t you have it in reddish gold? — Chef-D’oeuvre (@TemiMartin) June 22, 2015
8. This tweet about Nigerian parents

Nigerian parents don't care if someone broke your heart and you're hurting. They will still call you to wash pot.
— Softie (@soniabladetweet) August 23, 2015

9. This tweet about Netflix and chill

When the movie is almost over and your crush who invited you for Netflix and chill hasn't touched your bra strap pic.twitter.com/0VlrVs0x7x
— flaw. (@goldenwura) February 14, 2016

10. This tweet about sheep and rams

https://twitter.com/IsabellahXOX/status/636100628775833600

11. This tweet about Shakiti bobo

Shakiti bobo will be playing and one babe will still be bringing yansh. Aunty pls give me space, I need to hang one leg in the air
— Uncle Choco (@TheLekan) September 19, 2015
12. This tweet about breastfeeding

https://twitter.com/HisRoyalDopenez/status/671315155238658049

13. This tweet about Law students

https://twitter.com/Jidee_/status/701670372266143746

14. This tweet about names

https://twitter.com/Sir_Scribbles/status/696313562831187968

15. This tweet about African mothers

https://twitter.com/chuuzzy/status/582676630369337344

16. This tweet about job interviews

[Job Interview]

"It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17 X 19?"

"36"

"That's not even close"

"But it was quick"
— Book of Puns: Two Lovers & A Genie (@Snikoggs) January 15, 2016

17. This tweet about CVs

Writing CV for my guy…Baba no get job experience.

So I added 4yrs experience as 'Data analytics and Forecast Expert' cos Nairabet 🙂
— Reciprocator™ (@F_Jay_) October 21, 2015

18. This tweet about karaoke

First time I heard the word Karaoke, I thought it meant raise your body up. Growing up in Ibadan was tough man pic.twitter.com/xLMwIJuWgi
— o1a (@aistheGreat) July 5, 2015

19. This tweet about your mother’s name

It's crazy how some kids can get away with calling their parents by their names

I didn't even know my mum's name till she added me on FB.
— Capri-seun 🐐 (@Seunography) November 24, 2015

20. This tweet about Nigerians and questions

Interviewer: Is it true most Nigerians answer questions with questions? Nigerian man: Who told you that?
— Isima (@IsimaOdeh) January 7, 2015

21. This tweet about Nigerian mothers and answering calls

Nigerian mothers dnt pick call immediately. Atleast u must call like 3× , before they pick it frm inside their bag, wardrobe or pot of soup.
— Oiza (@Steadi_lady) September 21, 2015

22. This tweet about pigs

I'll never understand why my fam dont like eating pork "Pigs are dirty animals",

Its not like chickens & goats were using Dudu Osun😩😩😩
— MIGIANO OKAFOR (@Migiokafor) September 19, 2015

23. This tweet about being petty

https://twitter.com/Thelmzkitchen_/status/704694298625888257

24. This tweet about an Igbo song

please and please Yoruba people after 'aka mara mma" is not Kangaroo
— Hater (@eweredavid) January 5, 2016

25. This tweet about the army of The Lord

https://twitter.com/OswaldAW/status/557668670881939456

26. This tweet about JAMB

https://twitter.com/Chris_Obi_Goth/status/704613340572733440

27. This tweet about HR

Don't know why HR is frowning that I am bringing fufu to work from the house , if you had paid me for last month I might have ordered KFC.
— 🐘 (@TheGreyHunter) November 5, 2015

Daniel Orubo

April 15, 2016

Oldies

Africa, funnies, Internet, Laugh, LMAO, LOL, Nigeria, tweets

1. The tweet about Sugar Daddies.

2. The tweet about Lagos traffic.

3. The tweet about having an ugly bae.

4. The tweet about NEPA.

5. The tweet about Bella Naija weddings.

6. The tweet about kidnappers.

7. The tweet about the pain of childbirth.

8. The tweet about puff puff.

9. The tweet about superstitions.

10. The tweet about Nigerian mothers.

11. The tweet about getting married.

12. The tweet about wedding aso-ebi.

13. The tweet about shopping.

14. The tweet about Instagram chefs.

15. The tweet about marine spirits.

16. The tweet about bad breakups.

17. The tweet about meat.

18. The tweet about Nigerian customer service.

19. The tweet about job Interviews.

20. The tweet about soup.

21. The tweet about the Choc boys.

22. The tweet about candy crush.

23. The tweet about Nigerian driving instructors.

1. This one about buttocks

2. Why hasn’t this happened, really?

3. I have kuku said love is a scam

4. Why is there a fly on your scrotum in the first place?

5. The man with the fufu has everything already

6. My anger is very hot, let’s put this to a test

7. Why would anyone even do this?

8. Very useful for people who lack respect

9. I have done this, so….

10. Truly and honestly

11. This makes sense, literally

12. So the handsomeness of the male monkey must be imaginary too

13. Poor goat!

14. This is why aunties and uncles don’t mind their business!

It’s 2017, a brand new year, but nothing has changed for Nigerian tailors.

There’s no doubt they were put on this earth to just frustrate your life.

This lady’s poor friend asked for one thing and they gave her a shocker!

What did we just see, please?

Someone now replied with a picture that will blow your mind.

All she wanted was a dope jumpsuit…

Will Nigerian tailors make heaven like this?

Diz tew much!

1. When you are broke:

2. This subtle shade at igbo names:

3. The fear of MOPOL:

4. The Nigerian “wrong number” epidemic:

6. This Christmas curve:

7. The real use of Nigerian ovens:

8. Flavour’s accurate new name:

9. This valid concern:

10. This tweet about the “giant of Africa”:

11. This perfect Nigerianism:

12. This tweet about 50 cent:

13. This tweet that is as funny as it is sad:

14. This tweet about traffic in Nigeria:

15. When your boyfriend is an enemy of progress:

16. This I-Just-Got-Back’s story:

17. This tweet about Caitlyn Jenner:

1. Google maps and Nigeria:

2. This I-Just-Got-Back:

3. Our favorite pastor:

4. When greener pastures are calling.

5. This tweet about the generous Aunty Linda:

6. The Nigerian tailor wahala:

7. This one about Nigerian mothers:

8. The jollof wars:

9. The only excuse for “protecting” a Nokia phone:

10. This flawless humble-brag:

11. This one about cocaine:

12. The one about motivational speakers:

13. This near death experience:

14. This one about travelling with your parents:

15. The deceit:

1. The one about Nigerian fathers

2. The one about Nigerian mothers

3. The one about watching TV with your parents

4. This picture of fear