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Job Hunt | Zikoko!
  • The Worst Job Interview In The World

    1. So I had been job hunting for over a year.

    Walking up and down my state!

    2. I had become a prayer warrior.

    Going to church 4 times a week.

    3. My mother had been running from pillar to post trying to help me get a job.

    Like a headless chicken!

    4. All those uncles that said “call me when you graduate” were nowhere to be found.

    They had all disappeared. Professionals in the art of promise and fail!

    5. I applied everywhere, to places I was qualified and otherwise.

    Something will fall in place!

    6. I even ran for election.

    And lost, woefully!

    7. That’s how all of a sudden I got a phone call inviting me for an interview.

    PRAIIISEEEE GOD!

    8. I first did my special celebration dance.

    As a Michael Jackson apprentice!

    9. Then I started preparing for my interview.

    Fail to plan is plan to fail!

    10. I first spent 30 minutes ironing just the collar of my shirt.

    Carefully!

    11. Then another one hour ironing the remaining part.

    I must shine.

    12. I went over my CV and cover letter again.

    Cannot miss anything before they think I’m a fraud!

    13. Then went to sleep early so that I can be refreshed and renewed for my interview the next day.

    Beautiful sleep for a beautiful me!

    14. The next day I woke up early and made plans to to the office 2 hours before my interview.

    The early bird gets the worm!

    15. Before I left my mother made me a nice cup of tea and prayed for me.

    Sweet mother!

    16. After waiting for about an hour I was invited in for my interview.

    Finally!

    17. That was the beginning of my trouble.

    Na wa oh!

    18. Everything was going well for the first few minutes of the interview.

    This job is mine!

    19. Then all of a sudden, my stomach started making one funny noise.

    Ah! God don’t let my enemies disgrace me.

    20. The interviewer was looking at me like:

    “What is this one?”

    21. Before I could answer another question, one funny noise came from my stomach, followed by a strong smell.

    Ahhhh!

    22. My interviewer looked like he was about to pass out.

    God oh!

    23. I didnt know if I should pretend I had no idea of what was happening or start begging.

    What should I do?

    24. After struggling for another minute, my stomach made another sudden sound followed by an even worse smell.

    Wow! So this is how my enemies set leg for me?

    25. At that point my interviewer quickly ended the interview and opened his windows.

    See disgrace!

    26. I ran out of the office full of shame and embarrassment.

    Is this my life?

    27. When I got home and told my mum, she said “ah maybe it’s because of the detox tea I gave you before you left”.

    What?

    28. Needless to say I didn’t get the job.

    Shame!

    29. And I no longer trust anything my mother gives me to eat or drink before I need to go somewhere important!

    No thanks!
  • The Hilariously Accurate Struggle Of Every Unemployed Nigerian

    Everybody told you that you need to get a degree so you can go and find work.

    You have gotten the degree now, but you’re still here looking for work like:

    Every single job ad you’ve seen looks like this:

    Nigerian job opening ad: Financial analyst wanted. Male, between 21 and 21.5 with at least 22 years job experience. Must also be female.

    — Chef-D’œuvre (@TemiMartin) November 12, 2015

    Everybody keeps asking you for job experience, but they will not hire you so you can get the experience.

    You see some jobs you clearly don’t qualify for, but you apply for them anyway.

    You remember saying your starting salary must be 200k and above, but you are starting to reconsider.

    You used to see people walking around with this thing, and you’ve now joined them.

    You have been hearing “unpaid internship” up and down, but you’re not that desperate yet.

    You have even gone to meet that uncle that promised he’d help you after you graduate, but he is like:

    People keep inviting you for job seminars, but you’re just here like:

    You have finally resorted to sharing your CV like party pack, “you get a CV, you get a CV, EVERYBODY GETS A CV.”

    Your CV is currently on almost every online job site in Nigeria.

    Your email is currently filled with messages from them, but you are still jobless.

    You stated the kind of jobs you wanted on the sites, but they keep sending you openings that don’t concern you.

    You keep seeing job ads on the sites that literally have no details about the job.

    You even went for one of the interviews they sent you, but it turned out to be a scam.

    You, when they told you to pay before you could apply for the job.

    You were so broke you even started considering selling your stuff.

    …but then you landed on Efritin.com and saw ‘Job Vacancies’.

    You saw ‘verified employers’ and accurate job descriptions.

    Now you can search for a proper job without all the unnecessary wahala.

    Oya! Quickly go on Efritin.com and start your wahala-free job search now!

    Efritin.com, Nigeria’s No.1 marketplace for used goods! Buy and sell everything from used cars to mobile phones and computers, or search for property, jobs and more in Nigeria – for free!