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Insecure | Zikoko!
  • TV Shows We Watched to Impress Our Crush — 7 Nigerians Confess
    Insecure, HBO

    Have you ever watched a TV show to impress someone you like? Well, you’re not alone. These seven Nigerians can relate to your desperation to off someone’s pant with TV show references, and they spoke to me about how it all went down. 

    Bridgerton, Netflix

    Tobi, 28

    I used to make fun of people who watched Bridgerton back in 2020 because It looked boring and unnecessarily horny — why was that guy licking a spoon like a whore in those memes? But this year, I met a girl on instagram, and obsessed doesn’t even cover how much she stans the show. 

    I forced myself to watch Bridgerton because of this girl and started posting videos of me pretending to enjoy it on my Instagram story. The girl ended up sliding into my DM and doing all the toasting for me. I wouldn’t say I like the show, but we’re dating now, so don’t be shocked if you see me watching season three next year. 

    Stranger Things, Netflix 

    Cynthia, 23

    God knows I don’t like scary shit or playing with demons, but I watched Stranger Things, and it was because of a man. A guy I liked in my gym was wearing merch from the show one day, and since I’d been looking for a way to talk to him without sounding desperate, I figured this would be a subtle move. I spent a whole week bingeing all three seasons of the show, and the next time he wore the shirt, I told him, “I can’t wait to see how they bring back Hopper.” That’s how we started talking. 

    I ended up inviting him to watch the fourth season’s premiere with me; let’s say, some things went down. Shoutout to The Duffer Brothers for getting me good dick. 

    The Men’s Club, REDTv

    Jeremiah, 30

    The show might be called The Men’s Club, but I feel women watch it more than men. I got into the show because there was this girl at my office I really liked who wouldn’t stop talking about it. I knew if she found out I liked the show, we’d hit it off, and we did. We’d talk about the show throughout our lunch break, and I even pretended to ship Louis and Lola, only to find out my “office wife” was engaged to someone else.

    I get not bringing your personal life to work, but there’s no way this babe didn’t know I liked her. Anyway, I still watch the show; I just don’t trust Lagos babes anymore. 

    Anime in general 

    Ehi, 25

    I met this cute guy who was really into anime during my NYSC service year. Omo, this guy was such an anime geek; he had a demon slayer sword, as per Ikeja Samurai Jack. But, like I said, he was cute AF. We used to gist a lot, but our conversation wasn’t moving towards fornication, so I thought getting into the shows he liked would help me secure my future orgasm.

    I tried Bleach, She-Ra, Yuri on Ice, Naruto and Sailor Moon, but nothing clicked. I hate animation, and even though I wanted that knacks badly, I couldn’t move past this hatred. Maybe I should just tell him I want to chop his work. 

    RECOMMENDED: How to Disguise as an Anime Fan

    Spartacus, STARZ

    Zoe, 29

    Spartacus was a sure way for me to get steady sex back in the day. I used to live in an apartment off campus when I was in university, but I had this coursemate who lived at home with super religious parents, so he couldn’t watch shows with violence or sex in them. He used to come to my apartment to watch Spartacus after classes, and every time he was done, we’d have sex. I hated the show but knew it was a necessary evil, so I endured it. I always looked at the bigger picture. 

    RuPaul’s Drag Race, LogoTV

    Abdul, 30

    Let me start by saying I used to be one of those gays who were happy to announce that he didn’t watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. It gave me this weird feeling of superiority, like I was better than other gay men. Until I met my would-be ex, who was a big Drag Race fan. This man watched all the different shows from America to Australia. I resisted at first, but by the time he started repeatedly showing me clips and talking about it, I just had to give in. 

    I was shocked by how good Drag Race was. It’s hilarious and smart. The show also helped me build a community with other gay men who I wouldn’t have gotten to know if it hadn’t come up. I miss my ex, but I’m glad he helped me deal with my internalised homophobia and accept the beauty of drag.

    Insecure, HBO 

    Tomiwa, 35

    Insecure is my favourite show ever, and it took trying to impress my wife for me to see that. In 2016, when I was still dating her, she mentioned Insecure in passing as a show she loved. I’d never heard of it, and since it was just starting, I thought, why not? I fell hopelessly in love with the show just as I was falling in love with my wife. 

    Insecure was a massive part of our relationship. I proposed while Girl by The Internet and Kaytranada played in the background (we discovered it on the show). We both cried when the show ended last year. My next goal is to get my wife to meet Issa Rae. 

    ALSO READ: TV Shows You Shouldn’t Watch with Your Parents

  • TV Shows You Shouldn’t Watch with Your Parents

    No matter how old we get, there’s no way around the weird feeling that comes with seeing a random sex scene pop up while we’re watching a TV show with our parents. It is at that exact moment we remember we haven’t checked Facebook since 2015 or that we need to check the weather in San Francisco or Germany. While we might want to bond with our parents over some of our favorite shows and characters, some shows were never meant for family bonding. To avoid awkward looks and embarrassing questions, here are the shows you can watch with everyone else, but never with your parents. 

    1. Euphoria, HBO

    This show is wild AF! Is this what Gen Zs are doing in secondary school? What happened to extra moral classes for WAEC and JAMB? What happened to education? Sometimes we forget these characters are in school because all they do is party, fornicate and do hard drugs. If you decide to watch this show with your parents, be prepared to explain to them why random penises keep popping up every five seconds. Goodluck. 

    2. The Boys, Amazon 

    Imagine if Clark Kent was a sadistic villain masquerading as a hero and Gal Gadot Wonder Woman could actually act. Well, you’d totally get what The Boys is about. The show follows a group of superheroes who pretend to do cool shit, but half the time, they’re messing up their city with the help of corrupt politicians and capitalists. The violence on this show is on another level. Before you sneeze, someone has lost their arm and head. Decapitation might be your thing, but we doubt mummy and daddy will find it normal. 

    3. Sex Education, Netflix 

    Raise your hand if your parents spoke to you about sex when you were growing up. You would think after shielding the joys and hot tears associated with fornication from us, our parents would support us watching a show like this. Let me break it to you, no matter how old you get, your parents will still think sex is bad for you. So if you’re thinking of watching this show with your family, read the title and receive small sense. 

    4. Insecure, HBO

    Yes, we know it’s funny. Yes, we know it has the best soundtrack on television. Yes, we know it’s cool to join Twitter in the arguments surrounding #TeamMolly or #TeamIssa. Finally, yes, you should watch this show alone without a parent in sight. Issa Rae’s show might be one of the funniest we’ve seen, but omo, black people who live in LA and work cool jobs do usually do the sex thing too. You might be laughing one minute and the next thing you know, two or three people are fornicating to a seductive R&B record. There’s also that song about a certain body part being broken. Brethren, don’t let your laughter end in tears. 

    5. Big Mouth, Netflix 

    Not all animated shows are for children and to your parents, you’re still a child. We can all attest to how confusing puberty was, which makes it pretty easy to connect to the kids on this show, even though they have heads as big as watermelons. While it might look like a harmless show about kids going through this weird transition to adulthood, we strongly advise that you watch this alone. Your parents might watch this and start asking questions about your experience with puberty and honey, no one wants to talk about that now. That ship has sailed. 

    6. Spartacus, STARZ

    It was inappropriate then, it is inappropriate now. A word is enough for the wise.

    7. Bridgerton, Netflix

    Thanks to this show, we will never look at a spoon the same way again. While some of us were busy celebrating the real reason for the season in December 2020, the rest of the world was hooked on this show. Think of it as a Mills & Boon novel brought to life, but with black people and Ariana Grande. If you didn’t watch it when it came out, we strongly advise that if you want to watch it now, you do it alone. The Duke might be burning for Daphne, but best believe your house will be too hot for you if your parents catch you watching this show. 

    8. Family Guy, FOX

    We’ve warned you before about animated content. These shows are not always cute and sweet, some are just downright chaotic and weird. But If you still want to venture into the evil forest of animation, who are we to stop you? Just don’t come to our office when you’re homeless. 

    9. Game of Thrones, HBO 

    Even if your parents move past the graphic nudity and violence, there’s still a high chance that they’ll hate you for making them watch the show after they see the last season. Don’t put them through that stress abeg, Nigeria has enough wahaleux on its own 

    10. P – Valley, STARZ

    Let’s start by informing you that the “P” in the title of this show does not stand for “Plantain” or “PuffPuff”. Now that we have that covered, we sincerely doubt you’d want to watch a show about strippers with your parents. Are you okay? Is it crack? If the title and the stripper on the cover with her legs wide open don’t instill the fear of God in you, then we don’t know how we can help you again.