igbo men | Zikoko!

We’re getting closer to Valentine’s Day and as usual, we’re here with the perfect gift ideas for your partners. Today, the focus is on Igbo men. So if you’re in a relationship or crushing on one Igbo man down the road, this article is for you. You’re welcome.

1. Wickedness

Nice girls never win the war sis. Men deserve wickedness everyday and Igbo men deserve even more because they’re always so extra. But Igbo men kuku love problem. Once you show them small wickedness like this, they’ll pack all their money and give to you.

2. Handcuffs and whips

Every Igbo man wants a powerful woman beside him. After all, who’s going to take charge of all the money he’s gathering? Show him you’re a dominant queen that can command his kingdom. Throw in a little “Daaaddy” in bed while and you’ll get the keys to his kingdom.

3. Proper singlets

Men claim that they’re always receiving singlets, but Igbo men have constantly proven that we’re not doing enough. We will keep gifting singlets until they throw away this rubbish.

4. Abacha and Okpa

They say a way to a man’s heart is food. For an Igbo man — especially if he’s from Enugu — it’s abacha and okpa that will do the trick.

5. Palmwine

Get him drunk enough to rob him of his millions. If he’s too broke, still get him drunk enough for a good night. From him who has not, even what he has will be taken away. Yes, it’s written in the Bible.

6. Kolanut

While an Igbo man secretly wants to be dominated in the bedroom, he also wants his ego to be massaged. Kolanut is a symbol of respect in the Igbo land. Serve him in a calabash and kneel down in front of him on Valentine’s day. Show him you’re a queen that can whip him into submission while submitting to him as well.

7. Container

Igbo men are always claiming to have containers that are about to land, so why not get him a shipping container? Show him you’re as committed to his growth while you balance it with wickedness.

Put these seven items in a gift box and take it to him tonight. Come and beat me if you’re not in Dubai by the 14th sis.

Ortega

February 3, 2022

Ships

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1) A Net Singlet:

Arguably the most impractical piece of clothing on the planet.

2) Ripped Jeans:

You get extra points if they’re dirty ripped jeans.

3) Snake Skin Shoes

If animals weren’t murdered and skinned to make your shoes, are you even an Igbo man?

4) An undersized snapback cap.

That they always wear with the brim put to the side. Making them look like early 2000s music video gangsters

5) A badly-tailored pair of pants with the in-seam way higher than it should be.

You get extra points if it’s some ridiculously bright colour like red or neon green.

6) A shirt covered in the severed heads of a wild animal.

Usually a lion or tiger.

7) A terrifying walking stick that they only use to to intimidate people at weddings.

8) Finally, a bunch of keys that don’t really open anything that you can wear around your ring finger and jingle when you walk.

C’mon, don’t give me that stuff. We all know those keys are for show.

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Astor George

July 13, 2020

Inside Life

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Much like Yoruba men, Igbo men have built a reputation in the Nigerian dating scene. But because we like to bring you only original and unfiltered gist we decided to ask some women who have dated Igbo men and here’s what they told us;

Ogonna, 26- He believed money could solve every problem.

They are mostly core traditional men and our values conflicted. One believed that money could solve every problem, so he could stand you up, send you money and expect the money to give you amnesia. They think there’s something wrong with showing emotions, so they don’t want to bother you with their struggles because you may think them weak.

Vivian, 27 – It was so good I ended up marrying him.

It was so good I ended up marrying him and I have never had a reason to question the decision. I know Igbo men have a reputation for being controlling and all but I think it’s a function of tribe. Generalisations are silly.

Nelly, 23 – Things changed when i started earning more than him.

He was a great guy and the relationship was one of my best at first. But things started to take a sour turn when I started earning more than him. I guess he felt threatened in some way.

Ivie, 30 – It was not pleasant.

It was not pleasant, as an Edo woman, they always came up with the excuse of tribe. Dated one for 6 years and his mother disapproved and that was the end.

Dora, 25 – He couldn’t overcome his sexist ways.

I’ve dated five Igbo men. Three were great. The other two were assholes. The last one was the sweetest. He was huge and confident, unafraid to show his love for me in public. Always wanted to go out. He cooked for me, bought me gifts, pulled up to take me for drives around town. We had the hottest public sex then. It had to end however because he couldn’t overcome his sexist ways even though he was better without them. I guess that’s something the next generation of Igbo men need help with.

Chiamaka, 26 – They treated me like I was a baby.

They treated me like I was a baby literally. Maybe cos they were always 10 years older. So, it was a nice time. Still is.

Chidera, 25- The best boyfriend I ever had was Igbo.

The best boyfriend I ever had was Igbo. He was a good guy. Genuinely cared about me and everything I was doing. Wanted to know how I was faring and what I was up to with my career. It’s the best relationship I ever had.

Hi there, while you are here we would love a review of our “What She Said” series. Let us know what you think so we can bring you juicier content. Be a darling and drop it HERE please.

Blessing Onyelobi

April 10, 2020

Her

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