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  • If you’ve been on social media lately, you’ve probably seen stories of guys who go out of their way to humiliate their girlfriends all in the name of testing to see if they’re wife material. In-laws are usually the main enforcers of these “tests of character,” which usually involve subjecting poor young women to insane levels of housework and/or dehumanizing tasks.

    After reading a couple of stories like this, I wondered what it would be like if the roles were reversed. Ladies, have some fun and appraise your man today with these foolproof husband material tests I came up with 20 minutes ago.

    Clog your toilets and insist on not calling a plumber.

    Then insist he fix it by himself while your entire extended family watches.

    Blow up your parents’ house and have him rebuild it by himself.

    While your entire extended family watches. If his name happens to be Bob, then the universe has a joke all setup for you.

    Tell him he has to go hunting with nothing but a pen knife because your father demands fresh meat before he agrees to hand you over.

    Find a way for your extended family to watch this (without putting them in harm’s way) because this will be mad fun.

    While on a date at an expensive restaurant, quietly invite your entire extended family to join you guys.

    And have him pay for everyone.

    Take him to your village and have him wrestle the strongest guy there.

    While the whole village watches.

    Secretly make colored photocopies of his important documents then “accidentally” set them on fire in his presence.

    Just to see how he’ll react. Set up cameras to catch his reaction from different angles so your extended family can watch.

    Break his finger.

    This isn’t even a test. You know he’ll react badly because of the pain. But remember, ladies, the point of this exercise is to have fun, even if that includes a little violence.

    Sleep with his best friend.

    Nothing tests a relationship quite like infidelity.

    Pick a fight about something irrelevant. When he points out how stupid the fight is, pretend to get angrier and smash the windshield of his car.

    Be on that Beyonce shit!

    Ladies,

    The important thing is that you have fun with it.

     

     

  • 13 Places to Meet a Rich Bobo in Lagos

    Are you a single lady, tired of meeting the wrong type of guys? You might only be meeting chewing gum boys, because you don’t go to correct places to meet eligible bachelors. We’re here to help make your ministry flourish.

    Marriage is serious business, literarily. That’s why we shared 11 Places to Set Fruitful P in Lagos and How to be a Single Woman in Lagos in Your 30s.

    Now, we’re back with places single ladies can meet the man of their dreams. And not just any kind –but the rich kind.

    This is an investment, so be ready to spend money.

    1. Any of the big hotels.

    Surface Bar and Grill or Voyage Restaurant at Radisson Blu; Oriental Hotel lobby, Brazzerie restaurant at Four Points by Sheraton; the lounging area beside the swimming pool at Eko Hotel.

    If you’re broke, the hotel receptions or garages are good alternatives.

    2. Any of Lagos’ big churches.

    This is for the Christian sisters. Just go to House on the Rock, COZA, Daystar, Harvesters, or Redeemed Christian Church of God (not any, it must be City of David).

    There are potential baes waiting.

    3. Murtala Muhammed Airport (local or international).

    So scrape together all your money and take a trip when next you need to travel. If you’re broke, just pretend you’re there to pick a friend or family that just landed and hang around.

    4. Banana Island Estate main gate or back gate.

    Why the gate? Because, if you don’t know anyone there or weren’t invited, security won’t let you in. So, to avoid embarrassing yourself, make sure you take a cab, or to be inconspicuous, take an Uber.

    5. Chevron Estate, Lekki.

    Again, make sure you have something planned to do there, maybe jogging; or you charter a cab.

    6. Pan-Atlantic University (formerly Pan-African University).

    Everybody here, both students and faculty are more than well-to-do and have access to the country’s influencers. So find ways to visit the place on a frequent basis. But your best bet is to take a course there.

    7. The shopping malls.

    Yes, we know that malls aren’t among the cool places to be these days. But there are still places in them where you can meet the potential hubby. E.g Café Vergnano at The Palms. So go exploring for the cool spots in the mall and hang around there.

    8. Wedding receptions on the Island.

    If you’re a bold woman, you won’t mind wedding crashing to find your man. The wedding receptions at exotic or expensive venues in V.I are your surest bet.

    9. 1004 Estate staircase.

    Because you can’t enter any apartment you like if you’re not visiting anybody. But you can hang around the staircase, who knows, you might even meet a nice white guy.

    Honorable mentions:

    10. Piccolo Restaurant.

    11. Emperor Estate and Mayfair Gardens, Lekki.

    12. Tarkwa Bay, Atican or Elegushi beach.

    13. Accenture car park.

    This one is easy. You don’t need a car, but you need to look like you own a car. So jingle the keys to the car you may or may not have, while you stroll through the parking lot in search of the car.

    Please use at your own discretion. We shall not be held accountable.

    Featured image via Jide Odukoya.