Hunger | Zikoko!

5 Occasions When It Feels Like Time Stands Still

Einstein told us that time is merely an illusion. I’m forced to agree with him because there some times when it seems like time suddenly slows down or stops unprovoked. Read on to see the occasions when time wants to play around with your head.

1. When you’re planking

I can bet that planking was invented by the devil himself. When you’re planking, 2 minutes feels like two hours. 0/10 do not recommend.

2. When you’re waiting for HIV test result

If you’ve ever gotten tested for STD’s you know that 5 minutes you’re supposed to wait for the result is 3 hours. When the lab technician/doctor brings your result and is wasting time, this is you:

3. When you’re waiting for pregnancy test result

Women know that the three minutes you wait for after peeing on a stick feels like time is crawling on its knees. Next time you will not have premarital sex.

4. Writing an exam you didn’t study for

This one is the worst. When you first see the exam questions and nothing looks familiar. You didn’t study, so there’s nothing but inshallah and vibes in your head. You thought the exam was for two hours but you feel like 6 hours have passed since you started chewing your biro. God help you.

5. When you’re starving and the delivery guy hasn’t brought your food

This one is a matter of life and death. You’re starving and on the verge of death. In fact, your belly button is rubbing your backbone. You sharply order food and they said it’ll be delivered in 30 minutes. That’s long but you don’t have a choice.

Then you start to count the minutes one by one. 45 minutes has passed but in reality, it’s only been 3 minutes. Kuku kill me.

This is the one you should read next: 6 Ways To Catch The People Owing You Money.

Olufemi Fadahunsi

August 14, 2020

Inside Life

anxious, Hunger, time
5 Times Cold Eba Can Save Your Life
Cold Eba gets a lot of slander, and if it was human I’m sure it would have taken “legal steps”. But when I still used to go to Church, I remember the Pastor once saying that the foolish things of this world will be used to confound the wise. So yes, cast not away that cold eba. It just might save your life.

I present to 5 times cold eba can save your life:

1. WHEN YOU HAVE HOT SOUP
Look, forget that thing, Cold Eba with hot soup is the Nigerian dream. A classic case of how opposite poles attract. You know how good girls like bad boys? Yeah, that’s it.
2. WHEN IT’S A DAY OLD
Ah, a day old eba is like ripe pawpaw – very fresh and delicious. Once you go cold, you’ll never be told. I promise.
3. When You Don’t Want a Bitter Aftertaste

Oyinbo say “what is dead may never die”, and feminists say “you can’t shame the shameless”. In other words, if you want to have a meal that dosen’t leave your tongue feeling one kain, try cold eba. It’s cold anyway, you taste buds will be numb to it.

4. When You’re Looking For A Sleeping Pill
One of those people who have trouble sleeping? Try cold eba. Once the heavy coldness hits the pit of your stomach, you’ll start snoring like a bricklayer in no time.

5. When You Want To See Tekno Angry

https://twitter.com/gidifeedtv/status/1228666533553025024?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1228666533553025024%7Ctwgr%5E&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.kemifilani.ng%2F2020%2F02%2Fsinger-tekno-laments-over-strong-eba-video.html

I really don’t know why you’ll want to see Alhaji Tekno angry, but then again, he’s only human. So if you have anger issues and you’re this close to committing suicide, Tekno has shown that you can rob your kporororo in Eba’s kpotokpoto. WHATEVER.

We also have premium gist on eba’s younger brother, Garri. Read up: 5 Garri Combinations That Will Give You Stomach Orgasm.
Doyin Olagunju

August 12, 2020

Chopist

Cold eba, eba, Hunger, Life
10 Things That Go Through Your Mind When You’re Very Hungry

1. When your stomach starts making funny noises and the people around you are looking at you like:

Have you never been hungry before?
2. When you check the time and you still can’t get food for a while.

Hay God!
3. You start regretting all the food you’ve ever wasted.

I was young and stupid.
4. And regretting all the times someone offered you food and you said “no thanks”.

Please come back!
5. You start hallucinating about food.

Seeing puff puff, rice and ice cream everywhere.
6. And even your friends and family start looking edible.

Hmmmmmm……
7. When you finally see food, you’re like:

Glory glory hallelujah!
8. You don’t even pretend to have any decorum when you start eating.

Decorum ko, decorum ni!
9. When you’ve over eaten and now you’ve made yourself sick.

Oh no!
10. But you have no regrets because you’ve dealt with your hunger!

As a boss!

Jola Ayeye

September 16, 2016

Oldies

Food, Funny, Hunger
16 Pictures That Are Too Real For Nigerians Who Are Always Hungry

Odunayo

March 22, 2016

Oldies

Everyday, Foodie, Hunger, Hungry, Nigerian, sponsored

5 Occasions When It Feels Like Time Stands Still

1. When you’re planking

2. When you’re waiting for HIV test result

3. When you’re waiting for pregnancy test result

4. Writing an exam you didn’t study for

5. When you’re starving and the delivery guy hasn’t brought your food

5 Times Cold Eba Can Save Your Life

1. WHEN YOU HAVE HOT SOUP

2. WHEN IT’S A DAY OLD

3. When You Don’t Want a Bitter Aftertaste

4. When You’re Looking For A Sleeping Pill

5. When You Want To See Tekno Angry

10 Things That Go Through Your Mind When You’re Very Hungry

1. When your stomach starts making funny noises and the people around you are looking at you like:

2. When you check the time and you still can’t get food for a while.

3. You start regretting all the food you’ve ever wasted.

4. And regretting all the times someone offered you food and you said “no thanks”.

5. You start hallucinating about food.

6. And even your friends and family start looking edible.

7. When you finally see food, you’re like:

8. You don’t even pretend to have any decorum when you start eating.

9. When you’ve over eaten and now you’ve made yourself sick.

10. But you have no regrets because you’ve dealt with your hunger!

16 Pictures That Are Too Real For Nigerians Who Are Always Hungry