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How was your night? | Zikoko!
  • 5 Places You Shouldn’t Use “How Was Your Night?”

    5 Places You Shouldn’t Use “How Was Your Night?”

    A lot of people don’t know, but this is a good time to educate ourselves. Asking people how their night was means that you want to know what they were up to sexually or otherwise, the night before. Oh, don’t act surprised. As if you will not listen eagerly when they tell you about the sex they had.

    Anyway, here are 7 places you should not use “How was your night?” as a greeting. Please listen to us, before you put yourself in trouble.

    1. In your office

    Or any formal setting for that matter. Imagine asking your spirikoko boss how his/her night went. Hmm, you’re asking for erotica on an early Monday morning. *Laughs in sermon and sack letter*

    2. In emails.

    “Dear Fred, how was your night?” does not sound as posh as you think it is. Imagine Fred turning red in the face at your audacity. Stick to simple greetings. “I hope your day is going well?”; “I trust this email meets you well.” The email may or may not meet him well, but at least you’re not asking him offensive questions.

    3. On the bus.

    Why are you even asking random strangers how their night was? Turn to me with that kind of question and I will serenade you with an epic of how I battled multiple demons in my sleep. Believe me.

    4. In a meeting

    Refer to point one above.

    5. With complete strangers.

    Honestly, maybe not ask people “How was your night?” Just say good morning and go your way.


    15 Accurate Responses To The Annoying ‘How Was Your Night?’ Question That Nigerians Ask


  • 15 Accurate Responses To The Annoying ‘How Was Your Night?’ Question That Nigerians Ask

    15 Accurate Responses To The Annoying ‘How Was Your Night?’ Question That Nigerians Ask

    How was your night?” is not a greeting. If you don’t want to listen to how I slept in a pool of my own sweat because there was no light, please don’t ask.

    1. “Why?! What did you hear?! Tell me what you know!”

    I’m curious too!

    2. “Terrible, I had a nightmare that you would ask me this question.”

    And apparently dreams do come true.

    3. “I don’t know. I slept off as soon as it started.”

    What else you wanna know?

    4. “Quite nice. Spectacular. I’ll rate it 5/5. Will definitely try again.”

    We good?

    5. “I closed my eyes, opened them and it was over!”

    And I’m still mad.

    6. “I thought it was amazing till you asked me about it.”

    7. “Well, I tried to kill myself about 5 mins back, thinking about you asking me this question, but I didn’t succeed and here we are.”

    Excuse me while I try again.

    8. “Would you really like to know, or are you just being polite?”

    Because I have a story to tell.

    9. “Of all the nights I’ve been asleep, it was definitely one of them.”

    Wait, why aren’t you laughing?!

    10. “Wow, how disappointing was that question. I’m alive, obviously, if that’s what you’re asking.”

    You know, since I’m talking to you and all.

    11. “Assume whatever you want.”

    For real.

    12. “It’s hard to say now that I’m awake.”

    Don’t care.

    13. “Extremely, dangerously average.”

    How was yours?

    14. “Same as always. I thought about doing something different but I’m kind of set in my ways.”

    What can I say?

    15. “I didn’t get enough sleep to answer this question.”