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House of the Dragon | Zikoko!
  • “House of the Dragon” Season 2: Dragons Return, But Where’s the Fire?

    HBO’s “House of the Dragon,” the “Game of Thrones” spinoff, is back for a second season after a two-year break.

    House of the Dragon is a captivating return to the complex and treacherous world of Westeros, a 200-year prequel to the acclaimed TV show, Game of Thrones. Adapted from George R.R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” book series, this new installment dives deep into the history of House Targaryen, exploring the events that led to the infamous Targaryen civil war, known as the Dance of the Dragons.

    Or simply put, this queen…

    Queen Rhaenyra | Photograph by Theo Whitman/HBO

    …versus this queen…

    Dowager Queen Alicent | Photograph by Theo Whitman/HBO

    …who, if you’ve watched the first season, is her ex-bestie turned late father, King Viserys’s second wife (long story).

    It starts where season one left off, post-King Viserys’s death and Alicent’s mishearing of his final words to mean that her son, the overindulgent Aegon Targaryen, should rule after him instead of his first child and official heir, Rhaenyra.

    But where season one was perhaps slow-paced, big on setting and character development up until after the king’s tragic death — ending with Rhaenyra’s second son’s untimely death at the hand of Alicent’s second son and his giant dragon — this season expectedly begins chaotically. 

    With mourning, reprisal attacks after reprisal attacks, intricate politics, familial betrayals and epic battles, fans of the Game of Thrones universe finally get a taste of what they’ve come to expect — brutality. Expect dragons, battles, crazy misunderstandings and a bunch of petty guys causing avoidable complications. 

    But also, expect a lot of waiting around for something… more to happen.

    Photograph by Ollie Upton/HBO

    It opens in Winterfell, on a trip to the Night’s Watch and a mention of “Winter is coming”, immediately throwing us deep into nostalgia and a promise that everything good about the original show is about to come back to us?

    While the show has finally found its balance, there are still scenes where logic flies out the window, random twists without feeling and too many side plots that make it hard to care about the main battle for the Iron Throne.

    At some point, we have to join Aegon to ask what’s up with the game of thrones? Are they going to fight the fight or not? However, the bratty new king, who thinks like most that being king is about doing whatever you want, is hardly a worthy contender. 

    King Aegon | Photograph by Ollie Upton/HBO

    At least, not without support from his mum, granddad (and “hand to the king”) Otto Hightower, and crazy brother, Aemond. Even then, Aegon gives us nothing to particularly hate, fear, love or all of the above, like Joffrey, Cersei or Daenerys of the original. 

    On the other side is Rhaenyra, backed by her own crazy husband/uncle Daemon, her in-laws/cousins the Velaryons, and her kids who everyone knows are illegitimate. She, at least, gives us something akin to an uninspiring Daenerys-lite. Perhaps it is unfair then to even compare this spinoff to the OG show.

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    It’s “green” versus “black”. Green for Aegon and Alicent; black for Rhaenyra and Daemon.

    There are tons of other characters you might not remember, and the show doesn’t care to reintroduce them. In fact, fans may need a quick recap of the last season to even remember some plots and players, and why they matter. New silver-haired little children spring up, and no one really seems to know whose they are. 

    Everyone’s angry, constantly about to fight a dumb war. 

    Photograph by Ollie Upton/HBO

    The first four of eight episodes were made available to critics like us for review, and from what we can tell — without obviously spoiling anything — the mix of stunning cinematography, meticulous production design and grandeur of the Targaryen dynasty through magnificent sets and costumes gives way to a show that’s okay, and sometimes, good. 

    The lead actors’ talents feel wasted, left to do their best with often hair-pulling dialogue and threadbare plot. 

    Matt Smith’s Daemon still doesn’t know who he is. Is he blood hungrily soulless like the show tries hard to portray or is he devotedly loyal to Rhaenyra? While the constant dichotomy is familiar ground for this universe where two-faced (or no-faced?) characters are the order of the day, this time, it feels most like the show itself is altogether unsure. 

    Rhaenyra x Daemon standoff | Photograph by Ollie Upton/HBO

    Is Emma D’Arcy’s Rhaenyra to be a strong, capable queen or is she just going with the flow? Does Olivia Cooke’s Alicent actually know what the hell she’s doing? The only sure thing is Fabien Frankel as Ser Criston Cole with his faux-clueless look of steadfast hypocrisy as he righteous-indignantly blusters through the plot. Does he love being a fuck-boy for queens or not?

    Also, the plot twists need too much disbelief to work. Some things are too easy and some things are too complicated. Too much potential is lost in boring decisions and lackluster performances that appear to have no end result.

    Rhaenyra x Daemon standoff part two | Photograph by Ollie Upton/HBO

    Except of course, if the end is to build our impatience for some real action to a fevered pitch that would be satisfied by the latter half of the season. 

    But don’t let that deter you — there’s still plenty to love. As the green versus black conflict heats up, it’s clear that the Targaryen civil war is just getting started. So, grab your popcorn and get ready for a wild ride. Because if there’s one thing this season guarantees, it’s that the dance of dragons is far from over, and the best (and most brutal) is yet to come.

    Photograph by Courtesy of HBO

    Soft plantain for anyone who can name the dragon above.

    Season two of HOUSE OF THE DRAGON debuts today, June 16 (9:00 – 10:00 p.m. ET/PT) on HBO and will be available to stream on Max. The eight-episode season will continue with one new episode weekly through August 4.

    THIS IS ACCURATE: The Most Annoying Characters on “House of the Dragon”, Ranked

  • 10 Struggles Background Characters in the Game of Thrones Universe Can Relate To

    Surviving life in the Game of Thrones universe without a dragon, title, exchangeable faces, connections in high places or a shitload of gold must be hard AF! One minute you’re strolling down the streets of Kings Landing eating a slice of pigeon pie, and the next thing you know, a random dragon is flying over the town, turning everyone into asun. 

    From complicated Targaryen names to church explosions, here are some of the stressful things background characters in the Game of Thrones universe can relate to: 

    Dragons stepping on you and your family members like cockroaches 

    Shoutout to Princess Rhaenys and her dragon, Meleys, for that badass moment at Aegon II’s coronation in the ninth episode of House of the Dragon. But, hold up: did anyone else see the way her dragon was trampling on everyone and flinging citizens with its tail unprovoked? 

    These people were living their best poverty-stricken lives in Flea Bottom before they were forced to watch that dramatic coronation, and now they’re dead. Westerosi life no balance at all. 

    Cum falling from the sky

    Before becoming a serial rapist and king, Aegon II, in episode six of House of the Dragon, showed us one of his hobbies — jerking off while standing on one of the windows of the Red Keep. Eww. That’s how someone will be working to earn their daily 2k, and bam, now you have Aegon II’s cum on your wig. What a life? 

    Weddings that end with murder and tears

    From Rob Stark, Talisa and their unborn child murder at the Red Wedding in Game of Thrones to Ser Leanor’s side piece at his engagement party with Princess Rhaenyra in House of the Dragon, Westerosi royal weddings never end well. Imagine going for a wedding just to end up brutally killed or traumatised over a beef that doesn’t even involve you. The people of Westeros must dread getting wedding invitations at this point. 

    Getting the suya treatment from Targaryen dragons 

    Remember when Daenerys Stormborn got on her dragon and burnt thousands of Kings Landing citizens because she was angry?

    Even though she had cause to be angry as Cersei had killed her dragon and beheaded her best friend, she could’ve quickly flown to the Red Keep and roasted Cersei instead of involving everyone else in her Iron Throne wahala. 

    Trying to remember Targaryen names

    George R.R. Martin is a brilliant writer, but why does he use the same names over and over again for his Targaryen characters? Is it Aegon or is it Aemond or Daemon? How many Aegons are there? I can’t keep up. The poor people of Westeros must’ve been going through it, trying not to mix these names up. That’s how mandem will end up beheaded because they can’t tell the difference between Princess Rhaenys and Princess Rhaenyra. 

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    Looking at ugly ass wigs 

    I’ve complained about the wigs they give the black characters on House of the Dragon. Must be tough living in a city where no one knows how to install a proper Peruvian lace frontal. 

    Dying in wildfire bomb blasts 

    I was gagged when Cersei blew up the Great Sept of Baelor in the sixth season of Game of Thrones. This woman and her Rihanna “Take a Bow” wig blew up the Westerosi Vatican like it was nothing.

    Even though I still miss my fave opportunist, Margaery Tyrell, so many random civilians were killed in that bomb blast. And all for what? Because they threw shit in her face. It’s not that deep, sis. 

    Going to war because of someone else’s beef 

    Please, why am I fighting your soldiers if I don’t have beef with you? These Game of Thrones background characters will be on their own, and the next thing, some lord will ask them to march to battle because they’re his bannermen. What type of unnecessary pressure is this? 

    Dealing with shitty leaders

    If you think Buhari, Goodluck Jonathan and Obasanjo were shitty leaders, then what would the people of Westeros say after surviving the Mad King, Joffrey and Cersei? It’s giving Abacha vibes over and over again. 

    Dying at any bloody time 

    If there’s one major takeaway from all of this, it’s that you can die at any bloody time as a civilian in Westeros, and no one will give a rat’s bumbum about it. Honestly, it sounds a lot like another country I know, but let me log off here. 

    ALSO READ: The Most Annoying Characters on “House of the Dragon”, Ranked

  • QUIZ: Which Male House of the Dragon Character Should Be Your Sneaky Link?

    Who should be in your bed? Daemon or Ser Criston? Take this quiz to find out.

  • The Most Annoying Characters on “House of the Dragon”, Ranked

    If we’re keeping it one hundred, every character on House of the Dragon is annoying AF. While Game of Thrones had Daenerys Targaryen, House of the Dragon doesn’t have any character I can root for so far, and yes, Rhaenerys is annoying too. 

    These are 10 characters, including an inanimate object I can’t stand on House of the Dragon.

    10. Vhagar

    Honestly, fuck this bloody dragon. Where’s the loyalty? Laena’s grilled bones weren’t even cold at the bottom of River Niger when this dragon bent down to allow Aemond to climb her. Just small speaking in tongues and Vhagar lost guard. No shame at all. 

    9. The dreadlock wigs 

    Since no one wants to say it, let me grab the mic real quick and call out House of the Dragon for doing its black characters dirty. Look at these kids; it’s bad enough that their father married their cousin the day after their mother was buried. Do they also deserve these atrocious back-of-pot sponge wigs? It’s just wickedness at this point. 

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    8. Aegon Targaryen 

    I don’t know if it’s because he looks like the other annoying guy from Stranger Things or that he just reminds me of Joffery Lannister. Either way, I can’t stand Aegon II. His face annoys me, and even though I haven’t read the books, I know his character will be shit, so I’m hating in advance. 

    7. Viserys I Targaryen 

    If Viserys makes it to the next episode, I’ll have no choice but to rewrite this article and make him number one. Don’t get me wrong, Viserys is a stand-up guy — as long as you’re willing to forget the time he opened his wife open like a Christmas turkey, but my beef with him is his refusal to die. 

    Sir, your mates are unalive, follow their lead and let us rest. Out here looking like stockfish every week. 

    6. Lord Corlys Velaryon 

    Westerosi Idris Elba has gotten more annoying as House of the Dragon has progressed. His initial motivation in getting the throne for his wife, Princess Rhaenys felt feminist AF. But after watching him attempt to turn his daughter into a child bride, I’ve seen him in a new light and my loyalties have shifted. 

    5. Larys Strong 

    Linda Ikeji of Westeros. Gossip Girl, the first. Honestly, any man who spends his time doing amebo — even if it’s his job — will always be irritating to me. Larys Strong reminds me of two characters I didn’t like from Game of Thrones, Lord Baelish and Varys. 

    4. Daemon Targaryen 

    I love a messy bitch who lives for drama, but Daemon Targaryen’s wahala is too much. You must always find him anywhere people are fighting or losing their wives. Even God rested on the seventh day, sir. 

    3. Princess Rhaenyra 

    I love Riri Baby, but this babe has been annoying this season. Sis, everybody cheats, this is Lagos Westeros. But what happened to cheating with decorum? The fact that everyone knows the other dragon you’re riding at night is a problem. And even though sprinkles of incest are encouraged between the Targaryens, I just can’t get over her thing with Daemon. Eww. 

    Anyway sha, shout out to Rhaenyra for being an LGBTQ+ ally. Love to see it. 

    2. Ser Criston Cole 

    Ser Criston Cole deserves to be at the top of this list, but I refuse to put him at the top of anything in life. This is the type of man that’ll claim to hate his ex in public but still spend time liking their picture from 2012 on the low. Why is Rhaenyra living rent-free in your head, ser? You’re not the first to chop breakfast. Abeg, rest. 

    1. Queen Alicent 

    It’s hard to watch House of the Dragons and not hate Alicent. Okay, your friend had a hot girl summer boning her sexy bodyguard and almost — emphasis on ALMOST — climbing her equally hot uncle while you had to sleep with a white walker every night. Is that enough reason to beef her for over ten years? 

    Even though I sometimes get where she’s coming from about loyalty to the crown blah blah blah. Alicent has a serious case of bad belle, and I cannot stand for it. Weyrey dey disguise.

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  • I Recapped the First Two Episodes of “House of the Dragon” on Showmax, So You Don’t Have to

    Based on how Game of Thrones ended, I honestly went into its new prequel show, House of the Dragon, with my expectations in the poteaux-poteaux. I heard it was showing on Showmax, so I gave it a go and let’s just say these dragon people have me in a chokehold. 

    Even though I’m tempted to recap the eight seasons of Game of Thrones, I’ve chosen peace of mind today and focused on the first two episodes of the House of the Dragon

    House of the Dragon starts by reminding us this is a prequel, so we need to dead any hopes of seeing Jon Snow, Tyrion Lannister or Daenerys Targaryen. There’s also a brief history lesson on how powerful the Targaryens are as the rulers of Westeros because of their big-ass dragons and perfectly laid blonde wigs. 

    The opening scene shows that Westeros is not that different from the real world when the Lords decide they’d rather choke than allow a woman rule them. Even though Princess Rhaenys Velaryon has a more valid claim to the throne (and a hot husband), they vote for Viserys I Targaryen to take over. 

    Feminism in the mud for real

    Years later, we meet discount Daenerys, aka Rhaenyra.

    Seeing her ride a dragon is giving me PTSD from the time Dany turned half of Kings Landing into suya in season eight of Game of Thrones. Anyway, Rhaenyra, who I’ll refer to as Riri Baby from now on, is King Viserys I’s only child. And while her pregnant mother reminds her she was born to pop out babies, Riri Baby is on her Arya Stark P and would rather do “manly” activities like go to war and decapitate men. 

    YASS QUEEN!

    Meanwhile, in the king’s August meeting chambers, we hear him talk about how confident he is that his next child will be a boy and the heir to his throne. 

    The universe: 

    MEANWHILE

    As the council makes plans for fun festivities, Lord Corlys, aka Westerosi Idris Elba, reminds them that the city’s ships are being captured by someone known as the Crab Feeder.

    But the council is like: 

    We later meet the king’s younger brother, Daemon Targaryen, who looks like an older version of Orlando Bloom from The Lord of the Rings

    Daemon gives serious Jim Iyke bad boy vibes with a heavy dose of big dick energy. Just one look at him, and I know he’s going to cause chaos. But in the meantime, him and Riri Baby speak in tongues for a bit before he gives her an ugly necklace that means something sha. 

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    The king visits his pregnant wife, who tells him this is the last time she’s pushing out a baby from her coochie just because he’s desperate for a male heir. 

    On the day the queen goes into labour, a violent tournament is held to celebrate the baby’s birth. People stab each other up and down, and the audience keeps cheering like it’s the UEFA Champions League.

    Random man in pain: 

    Audience: 

    The king is summoned to the labour room and asked to choose between his wife and son. In a move that reminds us never to trust men, he picks the son he doesn’t even know and the midwives cut open his wife like a Christmas chicken. The queen dies, and because karma’s a bad bitch, the baby coughs once and signs out too. 

    Disclaimer: Alcohol was needed to digest this scene because WTF??

    So much for having a new heir. 

    With the baby gone, Daemon decides to do a little dorime in honour of the fact that he’s back to being the sole heir to the throne because no one would give it to Riri Baby, a girl. 

    Daemon: 

    The king hears of Daemon’s party and is visibly pissed by the dead baby slander. 

    The first episode ends with the king making Riri Baby the heir to his throne just to spite him. 

    EPISODE 2

    Episode two kicks off with Daemon holding one of the castles hostage, and Riri Baby back to doing bartender work despite being named the heir to the throne. 

    Westerosi Idris Elba is still on the council’s neck to go after the Crab Feeder. 

    But the council refuses to be bothered or stressed.

    When Riri Baby suggests that the king sends her and a couple of dragons to flex on the enemy, the Hand of the King, Lord Otto Hightower, is like: 

    Lord Hightower has plans of his own, by the way. This man has been sending his teenage daughter, Riri’s BFF, to the king’s chamber to seduce him. Ewwwwww. But we’ll come back to that. 

    Westerosi Idris Elba is also married to Princess Rhaenys, the king’s cousin who would’ve been on the throne if not for small sexism. They try to convince the king to marry their daughter, his second cousin. Once again, eww. 

    Nothing prepared me for the daughter in question. 

    Child marriage apart, I’m really stressed by this sponge on her head.

    Meanwhile, Lord Hightower goes to see Daemon with an army to retrieve the dragon egg he stole. 

    But before Daemon can turn Hightower and his men into asun, Riri Baby steps in, speaks some weird ass language with him again, and he walks away, giving her the egg. 

    Over at Kings Landing, the king finally announces who he wants to marry and shocks everyone by picking Lord Hightower’s daughter, Alicent, who’s literally his teenage daughter’s age and bestie. Ewwwww overload. 

    Westerosi Idris Elba is pissed his infant daughter didn’t become a child bride, and Riri Baby is pissed her BFF is about to become her stepmother. 

    I would’ve yelled, “Worldstar!” if I was there.

    Looking for revenge, Westerosi Idris Elba decides to join forces with Daemon, to defeat the Crab Feeder and take the throne. 

    This episode ends with a glimpse of the Crab Feeder, and we know he’s a villain because he’s disfigured like the bad guys from Nightmare on Elm Street and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Also, he literally feeds his victims to crabs.

    The end. 

    House of the Dragon is streaming on Showmax with new episodes every Monday, same time it drops in the US

    Sign up for Showmax on www.Showmax.com to watch House of the Dragon and other HBO series. If you are an MTN subscriber, you can sign up for Showmax using your airtime by dialling *447*2*2# and following the prompts.

    QUIZ: Which Game Of Thrones Character Should You Date?