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harmattan | Zikoko!
  • How to Survive Harmattan if You Have Dust Allergies

    If you find it a bit more difficult to keep your eyes open, breathe or just move around without meeting dust, then you already know our long-awaited visitor, Harmattan, is here.

    Naturally, it has no respect and is coming for everyone with a dust allergy. But fret not, we know how you can survive its stay.

    Get a mask

    Image source: JumiaNg

    Step into your mysterious bag this December, and keep that face mask on. Not only will the dust no longer affect you, you can also walk past all the people you owe without fainting from anxiety.

    Inhalers and nasal sprays too

    Image source: Paracosmic

    Anyone with asthma know they have to become conjoined twins with their inhaler this harmattan. But you don’t need to be asthmatic to get a nasal spray. It’ll help clear your sinuses and make breathing a lot easier.

    If you can, stay inside

    Image source: memes.zikoko

    We know it’s December, and you’re trying to get as detty as possible. But if you can, just stay inside. Outside will trigger your allergies a lot quicker and also suck money out of your account.

    Clean every surface

    Image source: Tenor

    You don’t need to deal with the dust in the air and dusty surfaces all at once. Give yourself a fighting chance by making sure everything around you is wiped clean and dust-free.

    Shut the windows

    Image source: Tenor

    The dust is more determined than a married Nigerian man in a bar. It’ll find its way in somehow. Don’t open your doors or windows to it. Protect yourself today.

    Keep your medications close

    Image source: Tenor

    Go to your nearest pharmacy and get all the drugs your doctor’s prescribed for your allergies. Stay ready to tackle whatever the dust might bring your way.

    Give yourself room to breathe

    Image source: memes.zikoko

    It’s easy to feel like the air around you is closing in when everywhere is filled with dust, so don’t add to your wahala. Make sure you’re not in crowds and there’s always room for you to breathe properly.

    READ: Surviving Harmattan: A Complete Starter Kit

  • You Need to Give Harmattan Season Its Flowers, and Here’s Why

    Harmattan season gets the worst PR, and to be honest, it doesn’t deserve that. Yes, the season comes with a truckload of struggle: ashy skin, chapped lips, cracked heels and dry throat. But if you take a moment to really deep it, you’d appreciate these things that make Harmattan the best season ever.

    PHCN, who?

    You Need to Give Harmattan Season Its Flowers, and Here’s Why

    Nature has already blessed you with natural air conditioning. PHCN can fall dead in a ditch.

    Natural food preservative

    Harmattan is all you need to shame PHCN for all the atrocities committed in 2023. With that cool dry Sahara wind, you only need to put food items on a steel surface or bowl to preserve them. 

    Wash and wear

    You Need to Give Harmattan Season Its Flowers, and Here’s Why

    A weather that helps you save extra cost on dry cleaning? Yes, please. Wash your shirt, wear it and we promise it will dry up on your body before you get to the bus stop.

    Wear your lip gloss in peace

    Image: TikTok

    As a guy, you won’t have to deal with annoying questions like “Why are you wearing lip gloss?” “Isn’t that too much?” You’ll get comments like “We love a well-moisturised king”. 

     [ad]

    Agbalumo comes out to play

    You Need to Give Harmattan Season Its Flowers, and Here’s Why

    Image: Sundry Agro

    It’s no surprise that the Queen B of fruits chooses the harmattan season to flourish. Roasted corn, overhyped apples and oranges can go to rest now. 

    Natural starch

    Image: Martha Stewart

    Have you seen the way clothes stand at attention on the line during harmattan? No spray-on starch can give you these results.

    Justification for disposable plates

    Image: UbuyNigeria

    If you hate washing plates, this is the time to jump on the disposable trend without feeling guilty about it. No more semo and eba hardening against unwashed plates, at least for a season.

    Cry in peace

    This weather will let you become the emotional wreck and crybaby you want to be. Before anyone catches a whiff and asks, “What happened?” your tears have dried up.

  • The Best Lip Care Options for the Harmattan Season, Ranked

    Maintaining premium beauty can be a hassle during the harmattan season. Your skin looks ashy AF, and even worse, your chapped lips are far from giving “kissable”. But true OGs know there are ways around keeping your lips succulent. 

    We ranked the best lip care options for moisturised lips that will survive the thick and thin of harmattan.

    Vegetable oil

    The Best Lip Care Options for the Harmattan Season, Ranked

    Image source: Food Network

    It’s basically coconut oil with no PR. You can apply a swipe of it before leaving the house, or you can throw a deep-fried turkey in your purse and take a bite anytime you feel the dryness coming.

    Coconut oil

    Image source: Tree Hugger

    It’s an active ingredient in most lip balms, so why not just go for the real deal? Find a container that can fit inside your purse or pocket, and you’re good to go.

    Shea butter

    The Best Lip Care Options for the Harmattan Season, Ranked

    Our mums and grannies clocked this hack before big cosmetics came to bamboozle us with their products. It doesn’t get more natural than a nice spread of good ol’ shea butter on your lips.

    Sleeping masks

    The Best Lip Care Options for the Harmattan Season, Ranked

    Image: Konga

    This one should be on your radar if you hate waking up with dry and chapped lips to begin with. Lip sleeping masks are specifically formulated to keep your lips moisturised overnight. So apply one before you go to bed. 

    Pocket-friendly lip balm

    Image: Ubuy Nigeria

    Your lips will stay strapped all day. You’ll never be caught unaware when that kiss comes your way. Go for a lip balm that’s pocket friendly in both size and cost, and you’re good.

     [ad]

    Vaseline lip therapy 

    The Best Lip Care Options for the Harmattan Season, Ranked

    Image: Vaselinebrand

    Vaseline is so universal, it doesn’t even seem like a brand name anymore. But besides the petroleum jelly (which also works), they have a range of lip therapy products in different fragrances. Just don’t be tempted to lick it off halfway into the day. 

    Lip balms with SPF

    Image:Ubuy Nigeria

    These ones hit that sweet spot between shiny, well-moisturised lips and extra protection from the sun.

    Long-lasting lip gloss

    Image: Instagram/@herlichbeatyplanet

    You want em’ lips shiny all day? You want your lips to be the centre of attraction when you step in the room? Long-lasting lip glosses is where the magic is at. The key is to make sure the gloss is actually long-lasting.

  • QUIZ: Are You More Like Harmattan or Rainy Season?

    Choose between the options, and we’ll tell you what season matches your personality.

  • The Real Reason Why Harmattan Is Back 

    Some people might attribute the return of harmattan to global warming. But what do they know? Do they know more than us? We’re here to tell you the REAL reason why harmattan decided to stage a comeback in the middle of February. 

    Elections are coming 

    Do you really want to vote in extreme heat? No, you don’t.

    You complained 

    Every two to three business days, there was a Tweet complaining about how hot the country is. Now, your prayers have been answered. Someone shout glory! 

    The last person to go to hell closed the gate 

    We’ve been this hot because people always leave the gate open when they get to hell. And the heat from the fiery pit finds its way to Nigeria, their Earthly branch. Now that the last person to go closed the gate, we can enjoy a country that isn’t trying to use heat to kill us. 

    RELATED: 8 Reasons Why Hell Might not Be so Bad

    Skin was getting too ashy

    People were using the heat as an excuse to stop rubbing cream. Mother nature  took offense and decided to get involved. Now, if you don’t take care of your skin, you’ll look like a goblin. She’s giving us tough motherly love. 

    Valentine’s Day is over

    Harmattan started after Valentine’s Day because it didn’t want to give people an even bigger excuse to commit sin. In the scorching heat, some people stayed away from all appearances of evil. 

    Fuel is scarce 

    You can’t put on your fans and ACs anymore, so harmattan came back to relieve some of the stress. Now, you won’t have a heat stroke during the day. 

    The sun is tired 

    The sun has been putting in the work these past couple of weeks. It has burned tirelessly, and now, it needs a break. That’s why it invited harmattan over for some support.

    RELATED: Interview With Harmattan:”I Come Like a Thief in the Night”

  • 4 Harmattan Excuses To Avoid Going Out

    If your friends are bugging you to join them for outings this month, we have the perfect harmattan excuses to help you stay indoors.

    You’re welcome.

    1. “The sun is too hot”

    This one isn’t even an excuse. It’s a fact. The sun these days can make somebody run mad. Just stay inside your house.

    2. The water is too cold

    If someone is trying to get you to go out for some “Detty December” and you don’t want to, just tell them that the weather is too cold for you to take a bath and you don’t want to stink the entire place up so you’ll pass.

    3. “There’s too much dust”

    Dust is always a good excuse to avoid going out. If your lungs catch fire, they are not the ones that will pay your medical bills.

    4. “I’m preserving my sexy lips”

    Harmattan will fuck your sexy lips up. So stay indoors and preserve your lips.

    [donation]

  • 5 Thoughtful Gifts To Get Your Friends During Harmattan:

    In a land of dust, and time of ashy skin, the fate of your social clout rests on the type of presents you get your friends…the name: thoughtfulness. Here are five thoughtful gifts to make your friends go: “who send you message?”

    Cold Medicine

    With all the dust in the air, everyone is either sneezing or coughing. For friends experiencing allergies, you can offer to refill their prescriptions. In addition, you could also get Vitamin C tablets as they are very helpful during this period. They help to boost immunity and prevent breakdowns that are common during this season.

    Lotion

    If you are a good friend like me, you certainly do not want your friend setting off any bushfire from all that ashy skin. You can go the whole mile; from lip balm, to hand lotion, to body lotion. The goal is to let my people moisturize!

    The difference your gift makes.

    Water Bottle

    I do not say this lightly, this the period to drink loads of water…and also mind your business. A whole lot. All that dry weather results in dehydration and you obviously do not want your friends to gas out on you. If you want them to be alive to witness you get married, give birth to little unemployed rascals, then buy them water bottles so they can drink water to their heart content and live long.

    Not this size but you get the idea.

    Canada-style Clothing

    Seriously, what is the difference between Harmattan and Winter? See this as preparing your friends for greatness. This is the chance to gift them something multi-purpose – useful in their interim country (here) and also in their real country(abroad). Thick clothes are vital for surviving the intense cold during this season.

    Money

    Let us be serious for a minute, money can keep you warm, moisturize you, hydrate you, and even revitalize you. This is the gift to end all gifts. The best part? They won’t see it coming because they have been blindsided by all the Detty December they had to do. No need to thank us, we are here to serve you.

    Did we miss any gift? let us know in the comment section.

  • Surviving Harmattan: A Complete Starter Kit

    ‘Tis the season of ashy skin, chapped lips and dusty surfaces. In case you didn’t already catch on, it’s harmattan again. And we’re here to help you survive its throes. Here are 5 must-haves for this trying period:

    Vaseline (aka Petroleum Jelly)

    As you already know, harmattan and dry skin are symbiotic. And during this time, it’s literally impossible to escape not moisturising your skin.

    Vaseline, with its multipurpose uses, is all you need to save us the horrors of seeing your crusty skin.

    Lip Balm

    Chapped/ flaky lips are unavoidable this season. Therefore, it is important to stay strapped with lip balm, in order to keep those lips hydrated and supple, or risk not getting kissed by your MCM/ WCW.

    Transformer Clothes

    I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not talking about autobots’ merch. I mean detachable clothes that can work in both hot and cold weather because harmattan is a two-faced bitch.

    Sunglasses

    Looking cool while protecting your eyes from dust and dirt is a good two-in-one deal if you ask me.

    Nose Mask

    Apart from serving as a protective covering from dust, this is also great for dodging smelly pits and mouths.

    Did we leave anything out? Let us know!

  • 9 Harmattan Struggles Every Lagosian Knows To Be True

    1. When people in other states are complaining of harmattan cold but all you feel is heat.

    Are we really in this same Naija?

    2. You, praying for even small harmattan breeze.

    Oh Lord Of Elijah, answer your boy.

    3. When you realize Lagos harmattan is just dust and more heat.

    Who have we offended in this town?

    4. When the harmattan now finally visits Lagos small, you’re like:

    I can now rock my fine pull-over!

    5. How your joy is full when you can now chook mouth and complain about the weather.

    “Oh wow, this harmattan has no chill!”

    6. You, running to the market to buy shea butter and vaseline like:

    So my crush will not see my ashiness.

    7. When the harmattan now decides to say bye-bye after 3 days.

    Which kind of rough play is this?

    8. When you travel to another state and you see the real harmattan.

    So Lagos harmattan is a myth?

    9. And no amount of shea butter and oil will stop you from looking like this:

    Ashy AF!
  • 15 Pictures That Are Too Real For Nigerians That Are Just Tired Of This Harmattan

    1. You, when the harmattan first crept in to replace the insane heat.

    You didn’t realize what was coming.

    2. Till it came in full force and the dust rolled up like:

    The first disadvantage set in.

    3. When this became your how-to guide to bathing:

    This is basically an art-form at this point.

    4. You, everytime that cold water touches your back.

    5. Whenever you forget to use lip balm before leaving your house.

    My lips are cursing me right now.

    6. Your face, when you don’t use any cream.

    The struggle.

    7. When you go somewhere and the AC is on full blast.

    You people should calm down na.

    8. Your legs, if you don’t douse them in Vaseline.

    This ashy life.

    9. When the people in the north hear the rest of us complaining.

    See these ones.

    10. You, before going out vs. You, after going out.

    11. When you have to wake up in the middle of the night to put off your fan or AC.

    Cold will not kill me today.

    12. You are tired of seeing people dressing up like it’s winter.

    Where do you think you are?

    13. When the sun comes out and you can’t tell if you’re actually hot or cold.

    My body is confused.

    14. Trying to clean up during harmattan.

    15. You, waking up hoping it’s finally over, but realizing it isn’t.

    Can this thing just end?
  • How To Get Your Skin To Survive Nigerian Dry Season
    It’s that time of the year when the leaves fall, the paper edges fold and your skin gets ashy like burnt paper (pardon the joke). It is essential to take care of your skin properly during this season, here’s how to do it properly.

    1. Take baths properly

    We know the weather is cold, yes. You took a shower last night, okay? Ensure you take baths properly when you, should so your skin pores can breathe, stay healthy and be free.

    2. LOTION

    This cannot be over emphasized really. You can not skip this part. No your clothes covering that part of the body doesn’t excuse it from being “lotioned”. Use hydrating lotions so your skin will thank you. This is one of the keys to success.

    3. Drink lots of water.

    It has been scientifically proven that people who drink more water have better glowing skin, get good jobs, have good homes and the like. But trust us drinking lots of water helps your skin glow and stay healthy during the harmattan.

    4. Eat fruits and vegetables

    These are really good for your skin they do keep the skin glowing; bananas, oranges, pawpaws and the like. They contain antioxidants and vitamin c and these will also prevent you from having colds.

    5. Warm and protective clothing

    When you see okada riders all decked up no they are not imitating Kanye West, they are protecting their skin. The dry weather causes your skin to dry and sometimes start peeling. Cover up!

    6. Chap stick

    Do not leave your house without applying this fantastic piece of magic. It will keep your lips looking like lips and not packs of flour.  We all hate cracked, dry and peeling lips. Use a lip balm or chap stick!

    7. Hair oils and moisturizers

    It is also important to keep your hair oiled and moisturized, this will help keep your scalp in good condition. Dry hair=dry scalp.
  • 10 Struggles Every Nigerian Faces During Harmattan

    1. Being constantly reminded that harmattan is nothing compared to winter.

    https://twitter.com/OyinOdulaja/status/673162305882992640
    The only difference is a visa please.

    2. When you have to struggle to take a shower on cold mornings.

    Nobody wants to die .

    3. When you have no bae to cuddle.

    Why did #seizethebae have to be such an epic fail?

    4. When you see people struggling to find suitable clothing for the weather.

    https://twitter.com/NaomiA_/status/672816628040605696
    Nigerian designers better start making  harmattan collections.

    5. When you have to plan your movement carefully.

    No time for random link ups. Time to be as unfriendly as the weather.

    6. When you have to go everywhere with cracked lips.

    https://twitter.com/Vaness_ah/status/672865048721801216
    You just can’t escape the cracked lips. Well except you dip your lips in palm oil.

    7. When you have to wash cars every single day.

    And the car isn’t even yours.

    8. But you spot a silver lining.

    Harmattan a blessing in disguise after all.

    9. But you have to struggle to stay moisturised.

    This might be the best time to join coconut oil and shea butter twitter. You don’t want your opinions looking ashy.

    10. And also struggle to moisturise every inch of skin.

    Can’t let the person you’ve been eyeing catch you looking like half of a white walker.