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goodluck jonathan | Zikoko!
  • Me? Presidency? Never Again — Goodluck Jonathan

    We all have that unforgettable, once-in-a-lifetime experience we prefer to never relive — like getting booed in class for telling a dry joke, or losing your school fees playing Baba Ijebu.

    Goodluck Jonathan’s once-in-a-lifetime experience was becoming president of Nigeria through a series of improbable circumstances. But since Buhari dumped him out of Aso Rock Villa in 2015, the rumour mill has refused to rest about Jonathan’s second coming as president. 

    What the rumour-mongers failed to do was ask the man himself if he’s interested in a fairytale return to Nigeria’s highest seat of power. Because we’re now hearing something different. Let’s walk you through the gist.

    The book launch

    While we were all dissecting the content of that rare Tinubu interview, there was a book launch in Abuja. The book, written by Nathaniel Bivan, is titled “My Time As Chaplain In Aso Rockand contains firsthand accounts of former Aso Rock chaplain, Obioma Onwuzurumba. As you’ve probably guessed, he was the chaplain during Jonathan’s administration.

    What’s in the book?

    Besides an account of Onwuzurumba’s tenure as chaplain, the book also contains an interesting interview with Jonathan. Seven years after he left office, he seemed eager to revisit some key issues and questions surrounding him. 

    What did Jonathan say?

    On running again for president, Jonathan basically said he’s now too big for that.

    “If you wake up tomorrow and see that I’m president again, that means there may have been circumstances beyond my control. But not to go and pick one form and go and start lobbying people and running for campaigns, be it PDP power or APC broom and moving across Nigeria. I can’t do that again; if I do that, I’ll diminish myself.”

    Jonathan also noted he was amused when a coalition of northern groups bought him a nomination form in May. 

    “I was enjoying the drama. At least they’re not insulting me. After all, I was pursued out of the office, that I wasn’t good enough. So, if now, Nigerians are saying, “Oh, this man should come,” that means they’re cleaning me up. So, let me enjoy the drama.

    “I wasn’t disturbed. I know I cannot go and start struggling to be president again. It wasn’t only Nigerians who were asking me such questions, even most of the top ambassadors — the American ambassador, the UK High Commissioner, France, and all of them. They came to ask me whether I would contest. I don’t think I would contest any election.”

    What else did he address?

    Jonathan spoke on his current responsibilities as a mediator in stabilising democracy in African countries experiencing conflict.

    “Assuming there’s some confusion — and sometimes things like that happen in countries — they tell me to come and play a role in stabilising things. A stable democracy where one leader hands over to another is what we all want.

    “Let’s go through that process and not interrupt the democratic processes. We pray such things shouldn’t happen. Otherwise, to go and say I’m contesting on the platform of any party at all. No!”

    He also found time to speak on the Muslim-Muslim ticket currently run by the All Progressives’ Congress (APC). He spoke lightly on it, perhaps so that the APC won’t stain his white.

    “When I took over as the vice president, the tradition then was that if the president was a Christian, the vice would be a Muslim and vice versa. We have religious festivals in Nigeria and, of course, National Day, where there will be Jummah prayers and Christian prayers.

    “Nigerians are religious people, this is why I get worried about the issues of Muslim-Muslim or Christian-Christian ticket. Yes, Muslim-Muslim or Christian-Christian can run the state. But I always ask, “Who will represent this other bloc whenever we come to the national days that we celebrate?”

    Surely, a national day of celebration is not the big issue with the Muslim-Muslim ticket here, but then again the man has clearly left politics for peacemaking. So maybe he’s asking Nigerians to extend him the same favour and give him some peace.

  • How Tinubu Won the Support of Goodluck Jonathan’s Kinsmen

    The 2023 general elections are right around the corner; you can almost taste the growing tensions in the air. The presidential candidates are running everywhere begging for votes in places they’ll never visit again if they win and voters are trying to decide who’s the most qualified for the job. 

    Various interest groups are also aligning with these candidates because, after all, who wouldn’t want to be in the good books of the future president? 

    How Tinubu Won the Support of Goodluck Jonathan's Kinsmen

    Ever since Bola Tinubu won the presidential ticket of the All Progressives’ Congress (APC) and kickstarted his campaign, it’s almost as though he’s playing three-dimensional chess. Because despite his many gaffes, concerns about his health and unanswered questions about his academic credentials, more followers from across the country keep falling at his feet. 

    Who joined the bandwagon recently? 

    The members of the Citizens Network For Peace and Development (CNPDN) are the latest group to declare their support for Tinubu who they believe is the candidate with the best structure and capacity for victory. 

    How Tinubu Won the Support of Goodluck Jonathan's Kinsmen

    The CNPDN was part of the coalition of Goodluck Jonathan’s kinsmen who tried to convince the former president to contest for a second term in 2023 as a candidate of the APC. There were mixed reactions to this possibility which looked like it was going to happen until Jonathan abandoned ship because he wants nothing to do with Nigeria’s mess again. 

    This setback forced the CNPDN to throw their weight behind Tinubu because they think he’s the best thing since Jonathan. In their words, the next president of Nigeria needs to be a southerner and Tinubu possesses a wealth of political experience and intellectual sagacity. 

    How Tinubu Won the Support of Goodluck Jonathan's Kinsmen

    With the political climate right now looking like a real life Game of Thrones, we can only anticipate what’s in store for us in the weeks leading to the 2023 elections. It may be difficult to predict which candidate has the upper hand right now, but it’s interesting to watch  different alliances form. 

    Regardless of who comes out victorious, we hope the odds will be in the favour of those that matter the most: the people.

  • The Wildest Sob Stories Ever by Nigerian Politicians

    As a Nigerian politician, having a sweet mouth is a highly desirable skill, no doubt. You can have great plans for your voters, but you need proper storytelling skills to stimulate them. You know? Something to keep the people going. 

    The Wildest Sob Stories Ever by Nigerian Politicians

    It’s not enough to say you’ll provide free education, you have to remind your voters that you couldn’t go to school when you were young because there was no one to provide free education for you. Or that you were forced to travel to school on foot across seven seas and mountains because there were no schools in your community.

    But as a voter, it’s useful to have it in the back of your mind that politicians are trying to game you. If politicians have to deceive or manipulate you to get what they want, they will — and they do. The goal is the elected office they want, and sometimes they’ll tell you sob stories to appear more relatable to you so you can vote for them. 

    You have to jazz up and always look at the merit of their actual plans, and not just their corny grass-to grace stories.

    The Wildest Sob Stories Ever by Nigerian Politicians

    With the campaign season for the 2023 elections kicking into gear, we compiled Nigerian politicians’ greatest hits of sob stories. And you should expect to see more of them.

    Goodluck Jonathan (2010)

    The Wildest Sob Stories Ever by Nigerian Politicians

    “In my early days in school, I had no shoes, no school bags. I carried my books in my hands but never despaired; no car to take me to school but I never despaired. There were days I had only one meal but I never despaired. I walked miles and crossed rivers to school every day but I never despaired. I didn’t have power, didn’t have generators, studied with lanterns but I never despaired.

    In spite of these, I finished secondary school, attended the University of Port Harcourt, and now hold a doctorate degree. Fellow Nigerians, if I could make it, you too can make it.”

    Muhammadu Buhari (2014)

    The Wildest Sob Stories Ever by Nigerian Politicians

    “It’s a pity I couldn’t influence the reduction of the cost of nomination forms. I felt heavily sorry for myself because I don’t want to go and ask somebody to pay for my nomination forms, because I always try to pay myself, at least for the nomination. N27 million is a big sum.

    Thankfully I have a personal relationship with the manager of my bank in Kaduna and I told him that very soon the forms are coming. So, whether I am on red, or green or even black, please honour my fund request otherwise I may lose the nomination.”

    Atiku Abubakar (2018)

    The Wildest Sob Stories Ever by Nigerian Politicians

    “I started out as an orphan selling firewood on the streets of Jada in Adamawa, but God, through the Nigerian state, invested in me and here I am today. If Nigeria worked for me, I owe it as my duty to make sure that Nigeria also works for you.”

    ALSO READ: Can a Nigerian Lawmaker Represent Constituencies in More Than One State?

    Rotimi Amaechi (2022)

    “I don’t come from a privileged background. I grew up poor. I understand how it feels to go without some meals in a day. I know the pain of lack and the agony of want. I know what it means to see your parents toil just to keep a roof over your family’s head. I know what it is to feel the weight of expectation when you are the only one in your family who enjoys the opportunity to attend university. I know what it is to scrimp and save and struggle.”

    Atiku Abubakar (2022)

    This guy, again.

    “Who could have ever imagined, an 11-year-old village orphan, who had to rear other people’s cattle to raise money to feed his family, would have the opportunity to go to school for free, rise through the cadre of a decent profession, establish successful businesses, and become the Vice President of this country? That’s the Nigerian dream and that’s my story. That’s the possibility I want to pass to you and your children. No matter your current circumstances, that shouldn’t limit your success in life. There shouldn’t be any limit to what you want to achieve if you’re willing to work for it.”

    ALSO READ: Time Is Running Out for You to Register for Your PVC

  • Goodluck Jonathan’s Administration Never Meant Nigeria Well

    Goodluck Jonathan and his corrupt officials have once again given us international exposure nobody asked them for

    If you’re not sitting down, you should, because this one is BAD! It’s TERRIBLE!

    Under our nose, Jonathan and former Minister of Petroleum during the Abacha regime, Dan Etete, sold our birthright to Shell

    Recently uncovered evidence shows that Shell was involved in a bribery deal with Dan Etete, who is also the owner of this fake company, Malabu Oil(which he set up with our money in 1995, by the way). Somehow, in 2014, Etete got about $801 million of $1.1bn- money from the proceedings of the sale of one of OUR oil fields to oil giant Shell and Italian Oil company, Eni – to Malabu.

    More baffling is the fact that the oil field -OPL 245- is worth $500bn in untapped oil!

    OPL 245 as it’s called was one of our most valuable resources, worth 499 times more than what it was sold. Why do our leaders insist on selling our futures for temporary gain? Why?

    Dan Etete, a convicted felon in France, was allowed access to such huge deals during the Jonathan’s administration. Where in the world does that happen? And what is Buhari’s government doing about it?

    In 2011, Shell had to pay another $30 million for briberies alone. Foreign media say this is possibly ‘Big Oil’s Worst Scandal’ because Shell knew the transactions were illegal and denied them until last Sunday.

    Will Jonathan and his cohorts be prosecuted?

    There are reports the senate will summon Goodluck Jonathan, nothing is certain.

    One of the documents uncovered showed how some of the money was split

    Nigerian businessman Aliyu Abubakar withdrew $54,418,000 in cash. $466,065,965.44 withdrawn in cash and subsequently funneled to government officials including President Goodluck Jonathan, Attorney General Mohammed Bello Adoke, Minister of Petroleum Diezani Alison-Madueke, Minister of Defence and former National Security Advisor Aliyu Gusau. $10,026,280 to former Attorney General Christopher Adebayo Ojo $11,465,000 paid to former Senator Ikechukwu ObiorahForeignpolicy.com

    We should all be mad. We were robbed, again and again.

    The United Nations says the funds it needs to resolve the famine crisis currently brewing in Northern Nigeria is about 1.5 times the amount collected from the sale of OPL 245. About 5 million people face starvation. Nigeria currently has no oil refineries, and electricity generation is at an all-time low.

    The case is still being investigated and it’s unclear which way it will spin for now. But hopefully, everyone involved gets the justice they deserve.