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  • 13 Things Nigerian Women Who Wear Glasses Can Relate To

    Wearing glasses to see is the ghetto. Remember when we thought wearing glasses would improve your eyesight. LOL. Here’s a list of things Nigerian women who wear glasses can relate to. 

    1. Sunglasses are a dream 

    It’s either you choose to see or you choose swag. What will it be, miss Mamas? 

    2. Makeup where?

    After all the eyeshadow, you now have to wear glasses so you can see where you are going. Personally, I just don’t bother. 

    3. Our favorite people are people who help us pass our glasses without smearing it 

    Are you Godsent or what? 

    4. People think you’re smart 

    Then they put expectations on you. No dear, you miss road — I just can’t see. 

    5. They are sexy 

    Yes, all women who wear glasses are sexy. Period. 

    6. We see into the future 

    I know most women are blessed with the sixth sense that helps us know when someone is taking us for a ride but we, glasses-wearing babes, take the cake. 

    7. Kissing is hard 

    We can’t just fall into a kiss like in the movies except we don’t want to see after the kiss. If you can’t tell, I really hate smudged glasses.


    8. Bills, bills, bills

    Imagine spending money to see. Your glasses could break or the lenses could get weak fast depending on your eye defect. Either way, you’re spending money. Paying so much money to just see.

    9. Being jealous of other girls who wear glasses for aesthetics 

    Sometimes, I even hate it. Wear sunglasses, my friend. 

    10. Wanting contacts to make things easier but never being in the mood to wear 

    Contacts are stressful as fuck and kudos to those that have hacked it. 

    11. Tired ears 

    Are they ears or a mini handbag? Your eyes carry the weight of your glasses, your facemask and your hoop earrings. Best in multifunctionality. 

    12. You can’t opt out even when you’ve seen enough. 

    You know you’ve seen enough, but you can’t decide on your own that you don’t want to see again because your life is dependent on your glasses. Sorry, love. 

    13. You get sexualized

    Glasses are sexy, but that doesn’t mean girls who wear glasses want to be constantly sexualized. You guys should please grow up.

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    Mariam Sule

  • The Struggles Of Growing Up As A Short-Sighted Nigerian

    1. You knew you were almost blind, but you refused to spoil your swag with glasses.

    Can’t stain my bad guy.

    2. You, trying to see the board whenever you sat anywhere except the front of the class:

    You still refused to sit in the front with all those oversabis.

    3. When you wanted to cheat during a test, but you couldn’t see your friend’s paper.

    Is this my life?

    4. When you finally accepted your fate and told your mother you need glasses:

    Hian! From where to where?

    5. You, trying to read the second line on the optician’s chart:

    Chineke!

    6. The lens struggle:

    The worst.

    7. When you wore your glasses for the first time and realized how blind you actually are.

    WOW!

    8. Then your mother tried to force you to wear your glasses with that yeye rope.

    You sha want to dead my swegz completely.

    9. Whenever someone asked if your glasses were “shakommended”.

    See question.

    10. Whenever your friends tried on your glasses and shouted, “You’re blind oh!”

    You don’t mean it?

    11. Whenever your friends started asking, “How many fingers am I…”

    Save it.

    12. Whenever a teacher assumed you were smart because of your glasses.

    Abeg oh!

    13. Whenever people started debating whether you look better with or without your glasses.

    Go and debate over Nigeria’s economy, biko.

    14. “Do you take your bath with your glasses?”

    Have sense na.

    15. You, trying to wear contacts for the very first time:

    What is this torture?

    16. The ultimate struggle of trying to find your glasses without your glasses:

    Kuku kill me.

    17. You, still waiting for your eyesight to “improve” like the optician promised.

    I hate lies.

    NerdEfiko

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  • 14 Pictures For Any Nigerian Who Has Ever Used Contact Lenses

    1. You, the first time you ever tried to put them in your eyes.

    The struggle.

    2. When your friend tells you how easy it is to wear them.

    Na so.

    3. When you put your contacts in and your eyes start itching.

    Hay God!

    4. When people ask you how you can put your finger in your eyes.

    Is it your eyes?

    5. When you realize how expensive they are.

    Na wa oh.

    6. When you wear coloured contacts and people ask if you’re mixed race.

    Are you joking?

    7. When you see someone putting their contacts in with long fingernails.

    I hail you.

    8. How you wake up after falling asleep with your contacts in.

    Chineke!

    9. How your parents react to your coloured contacts:

    Mummy, calm down.

    10. When one of your lenses falls out of your eye.

    Jisos!

    11. When you have to put the contacts you just picked from the floor back in your eyes.

    Gross!

    12. Your eyes during harmattan:

    I’m dying.

    13. When you want to take out your contacts but you can’t find the case.

    What is this nonsense?

    14. When you don’t put them in a contact solution and they dry up.

    Oh God!

    Daniel Orubo

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  • 16 Things That Nigerians Who Wear Glasses Will Understand Immediately

    1. When someone asks if your glasses are real.

    So you want to continue being foolish.

    2. When one of your friends ask to try them on.

    …then they pass them to all your other friends. #GlassesNotArtwork

    3. Then they all proceed to put their gross, greasy fingers all over the lenses.

    Ugh!

    4. And then they remind you [ad nauseum] how bad your vision is.

    Yes, I know. That’s exactly why I’m wearing glasses.

    5. When someone calls you ‘four eyes’, like you’ve not heard that before.

    How original.

    6. When they say “You’re so pretty without your glasses!! You should keep them off!”.

    But you know I can’t see sha?!

    7. When someone whose eyesight is perfectly okay wears glasses.

    So rude!

    8. Then people call those ones fashionable.

    You people disgust me!

    9. When your friends try to test your eyesight without your glasses.

    I’m not blind please. Just visually impaired.

    10. When everyone assumes that glasses = nerd.

    I am not my glasses.

    11. When you go to the doctor and your eyesight has got worse.

    Fix this, Lord!

    12. When people ask you if you sleep with your glasses.

    Yes, I read in my sleep too.

    13. Whenever someone asks if you’ve considered getting contacts.

    Yeah, because putting things in your eyes is no biggie.

    14. That one time you tried to wear contacts.

    Never again.

    15. When you forget your glasses at home, and the entire day is a blurry mess.

    Well. There goes my productivity today.

    16. When your glasses actually break.

    Leave me alone to die. There goes my productivity FOREVER.

    Odunayo

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