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Gifts | Zikoko!
  • “She Paid for My Therapy” — 7 Nigerian Women on the Most Thoughtful Gift They’ve Received From Friends

    I don’t know who concluded that all women do is backbite and gossip about each other, but genuine female friendships can be the sweetest relationships ever. I asked seven Nigerian women to share the most thoughtful gift they’ve received from a female friend, and their responses were so sweet.

    Image designed by Freepik

    Amara, 27

    I launched my online business in 2023, and my best friend made sure she was the first person to patronise me. She bought something worth ₦50k and paid ₦100k for it. I cried so much. She was planning for her mother’s burial at the time and shouldn’t have been in a position to even offer emotional support, talk more of financial. But that’s just who she is. I’m so grateful for her.

    Tobi, 26

    I’d only known my closest friend for six months when I got married in 2022. But this babe went all out for me. She wasn’t the chief bridesmaid (my sister was), but she organised a surprise bridal shower, came to stay with me three days prior so I wouldn’t stress, got me a blender as a wedding gift and even distributed souvenirs at the wedding reception. We’ve been friends for two years now, and she’s still the same caring human being. We’ve even passed friendship. We’re sisters now.

    Jola*, 30

    I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for two years, and my childhood friend never hid her disapproval. But she always welcomed me with open arms when I’d come crying about yet another thing my ex had said or done to me. Sometimes, he’d block me everywhere for a couple of days then come back to beg me.

    When the last incident left me crying for three days, my friend paid for a therapist appointment and took me there without telling me where we were going. I got back with my ex a few days later, but I saw the therapist for about two months, and the appointments eventually gave me the morale to end the relationship for good. I have my friend to thank for that.

    Debbie, 24

    I was travelling from Abuja to Lagos in 2022, but our bus kept having issues on the road. It stopped again around Ogun state at 1 a.m., and the driver was suggesting we’d have to sleep there so he could call a mechanic in the morning. I’d been keeping my friend (who lived in Ogun) updated about my movement, and when she heard that, she convinced her dad to come pick me up. When I got to her house, she had a meal waiting for me. It wasn’t exactly a material gift, but she probably saved my life that night. What gift tops that?

    Detola*, 25

    My two closest friends and I have a tradition of surprising each other for our birthdays. When one person is celebrating, the other two gather money and plan the surprise. 

    I was really broke in 2023 and couldn’t contribute to one of the birthdays. My other friend took it up without issues. She got a bracelet and had it engraved to say it came from both of us. Our other friend never even knew what happened.


    RELATED: 10 Ways to Make Sure You Never Receive a Bad Birthday Gift


    Joy, 20

    When I broke my juicer, I nearly lost my mind because juicing was the one thing I constantly did for my late dad when he was ill. I told my friend how my family thought I was overreacting over such a small thing, and she didn’t say much. Only for her to show up at my house the next week with a new juicer. I cried.

    Chisom, 35

    Pregnancy and childbirth did a number on me. I had my baby in 2017 and was so depressed after. To make it worse, I started losing my hair. It felt like the whole world was against me. I felt ugly, bloated and tired, and I told my best friend about it. The next time she came to see me, she brought a pair of scissors and a brand-new wig. She hyped me up to cut off my whole hair and start afresh. In her words, I had nothing to lose. I could own my bald head or wear a wig and look good either way because I had the face to pull it off. I’m not sure why, but it greatly improved my confidence. I felt seen.


    *Some names have been changed for anonymity.


    NEXT, READ: 7 Nigerian Women Share The Worst Thing A Friend Has Done To Them

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  • The Best Under-₦10k Christmas Gift Ideas for Your Coworkers

    They lied; it’s not the thought that count. Because the only thing you can think about giving your coworkers is a knock on the head or amnesia so they can stop giving you work. 

    But in the spirit of spreading love (and because you were forced to participate in secret Santa), here are some gifts you can get without breaking the bank: 

    Wine

    When in doubt, the answer is wine. If you’re unsure of what your coworker likes, just play it safe and get them wine. You can spend as low as ₦2,500 on Baron Romero and as much as ₦4k on Agor. Even if they don’t drink it because they’re too bougie for cheap wine, they’ll serve it to their guests. 

    Source: My Liquor Hub Website

    A picture of yourself 

    Printed, not soft copy. Give them something to remember you with for the long two weeks apart. This is only suitable for work besties and work spouses. We’re not sure how much they charge for hardcopy photographs anymore, but we suggest you hold atleast ₦1500. 

    Scented candles

    Since everyone and their family members have become minimalists, they’d definitely appreciate a scented candle. You could get one for ₦5k – 7k and invest ₦1k into packaging it nicely. 

    Source: Rekoja| Online candle store

    A partner 

    What gift could be greater than finding love before the year runs out? And if they already have a partner, add an extra one. There’s nothing like too much love.

    Perfume

    First off, getting someone perfume doesn’t imply they have body odour. Same way you don’t gift candles because you think someone’s house smells, right? You’d be surprised how affordable ouds are depending on size and where you’re getting it from. So you could either go to the market or buy on Instagram. Just make sure to hold ₦5k – 9k for quality fragrances.

    Source: Jumia

    Your body

    Because it’s free, and it’s a gift you’d both enjoy. Just send them the address of the genital meet and greet. Remember, it’s about them, so you’ll have to do most of the work. 

    A journal 

    The perfect place for them to write down all the 2023 resolutions they’ll ignore after January. You should be able to get a nice one for ₦4k, maybe ₦5k if you prefer to shop online.

    A “cute” note

    If you’re broke and can’t be bothered to spend money on a coworker you loathe, you can just gift them a letter — the content is entirely up to you. You could be the bigger person and pray for them, or just be petty and attach your account balance with a list of things you’d rather spend your money on.


    This might come in handy: 12 Christmas gift ideas for broke babes dating Nigerian men

  • 6 Things Every Worker Deserves This Worker’s Day

    You work hard, and you deserve nice things. That’s why we’ve come up with this list of things that we think will make every worker happy on worker’s day this year. Let’s go over the options we came up with.

    1. Peace of mind

    Because capitalism is stressful and you need all the peace you can get.

    2. A playlist

    It’s inexpensive and super relaxing. Put together a playlist made up of lo-fi music, rain sounds, and Celine Dion classics. You can’t go wrong with Celine Dion.

    3. Money

    Plenty of money. Especially if it’s in a foreign currency.

    4. Their village people’s address

    Maybe 2022 can be the year we all band together to fight each other’s village people. There’s no better gift than sourcing for all the village people’s addresses of your loved ones. It shows that you care about their well-being.

    5. A pet

    Because a small animal that loves and adores you is one of the best things you can own.

    6. Crypto investments

    Crypto coins like Floki. Yes, market dips can give you high blood pressure, but you’ll be grateful when the benefits start rolling in.

    Here’s why owning Floki is a great idea:

    • It is competing with the top cryptocurrencies in the market.
    • Due to a partnership with CryptoCart, you can purchase items at stores like Amazon, Apple, eBay and lots more using your Floki tokens.

    Jump right in for more information.

  • 12 Valentine’s Day Gifts for Your Boyfriend

    Valentine’s Day is once again coming and you’re scrambling for gift ideas for your Nigerian boyfriend. Look no more and stress no further because we have the best gift ideas for your man, depending on your budget.

    1) Wallet

    Wallets are timeless and inexpensive. If your budget is less than ₦5k, then this is the easiest gift for him. You can get him a nice black or brown wallet and can even personalise it by adding a picture of the both of you. That way, whenever he wants to spend his money, he remembers he has a babe and it’s her money

    2) Books 

    Your man is a reader? Then you’re lucky. You can get him paperbacks  by his favourite authors. If you want to make it a bit cuter, you can get him one book he likes, one he’s been trying to get and one you think he should read. You may just introduce him to new authors; that’s how you cement your place in his life forever. Don’t forget to buy the bookmarks too! 

    3) Jewelry 

    Jewelry for men isn’t limited to just watches and cufflinks. You can get him rings, bracelets and — if he likes that kind of stuff — earrings. It’ll add a bit of spice to his everyday outfits and every time someone compliments his jewelry he’d say, “My babe bought it for me.” When we too go get babe? 

    4) Shorts, preferably of the ashawo kind 

    The weather is hot. Get him something he can wear around the house or for quick supermarket trips. Shorts are hardly ever a wrong move, and some can be pretty cheap. Consider shorts as gifts that keeps on giving. He’s happy and you get to see him strut around in shorts. 

    5)  Games for his console

    Sure, you hate how much he spends on those games with his friends, but they make him happy. If you have about ₦50k and above, you can buy him at least one game he’s wanted for a while. If you’re a bit broke, you can buy some other in-game collectibles. You may be playing yourself seeing that he’ll spend less time with you because of games, but at least he’s happy showing off what you bought to his gees. 

    6) Pay for his dry cleaning for a month

    This may leave you close to bankruptcy, but you’ll be doing two things for him. Not only will you help him save money, but you’d help him maintain his ironed lifestyle. Nobody will ever understand Nigerian men’s obsession with iron and ironed clothes, but it’s a harmless one so indulge him. 

    7) Fun activities 

    This is one of those gifts that creates everlasting memories in his life. You can give him an experience he can do alone, with his friends, or with you. Options include but are not limited to: pottery, painting, sculpting, paintballing, skydiving, bungee jumping, snorkelling, etc. This is a big money gift, so please gather your coins of the physical and crypto kind. 

    8) Hire him a driver for a day 

    Driving in Lagos can be so stressful. So why not pay for the stress to be taken away from him for a day. A driver for 24 hours seems like a very good deal. At least, he’ll be able to video call you while he’s stuck in traffic, or he may catch up on lost sleep in traffic.

    9) Spa day 

    Life is tough, so why not give him a chance to rest. A manicure and pedicure or a facial will work if you’re not trying to spend too much money, but a full body massage will work wonders. Your man is a baby boy and a spa day will cement that fact. 

    10) Gadgets

    This is another big spend. Spoil your man with  gadgets he’s had on his cart. Headphones, keyboards or even a new laptop or phone. You know how these people like collecting gadgets like infinity stones. Maybe this one you buy for him will be what he needs to open his own gadget review Youtube channel.

    11) Reparation clothes 

    All the hoodies and sweatpants you’ve stolen, the time has come for you to replace them. At least the next time you’re raiding his wardrobe, he’ll convince himself that at least you paid for some of them. Work smarter, not harder. 

    12) Cook 

    You can carry your two legs to the market and whip up a Valentine’s Day meal. If you make him his favourite food and plan his meals for a week, it’s a labour of love and isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is all about? You’ll be sure your man is well fed and taken care of. 

    [donation]

  • 5 Nigerians on Receiving Expensive Gifts They Couldn’t Sustain

    If you have rich friends, you can relate to the occasional enjoyment. However, it can get really awkward at times. Have you ever received an expensive gift that was hard to maintain or replace? Well, these five Nigerians have, and they told us their struggles with receiving expensive gifts.

    Abike, 24

    In early 2020, a man who liked me bought me perfume. I later Googled the name of the scent and found out the price. It was then I realized that after smelling like a daydream, I’d go back to Nivea and Smart Collection. It’s 2022 now, and there’s still some left. I’ve been using it sparsely ever since because, omooo. Perfume wey predate pandemic till now just because of sapa. One day one day sha.

    Vivian, 28

    My older friend got me my first Bath and Body Works bundle a few years ago, and I loved them; only for me to go looking for them in Nigeria and find the shock of my life. The products were way too expensive for me, but I closed my eyes and bought them anyway. When you start using luxury, it’s hard to go back. I kept buying them for a few more months until I realized that my income was suffering as a result. I had to go back to using Dove until last year when my income shot up and I could afford Bath and Body Works again.

    Uchechi, 23

    My current phone is an iPhone 11 Pro Max, which my three sisters contributed and gifted to me at my graduation. I treat it like an egg because if the screen breaks, I’ll just go back to Infinix. I won’t carry my house rent to replace the screen when I’m not mad. I’m just begging my Chi and my screen guard to understand our days of little beginnings so that we won’t go back to the gutter.

    Mike, 32

    Someone I used to be friends with went and bought me skincare products that cost almost N100k. I rejected the gift because I would not be able to afford new products after exhausting the one she bought for me. It did not make sense to me to go from using Irish Spring and vibes to spending half my monthly salary on skincare. It caused problems between me and her because how she go look me reason say I fit afford that kind thing? All she needed to do was ask me what I wanted. That’s what rich people never understand. They’re so all up in their world that they think everyone must like expensive gifts even when the gifts are not functional. Abeg.

    Lydia, 28

    An uncle gave me a smartwatch in 2017. I was in NYSC then, broke as a church rat. The straps fell off, and I couldn’t replace them because they were too expensive. I also couldn’t find them in Nigeria. I had to abandon the smartwatch for years. Last year, I found something that could hold the watch, but it wasn’t a perfect fit. I managed it for a short while, and then one day, the watch fell off and got lost. Losing the smartwatch hurt me so much, even till today.


    Editor’s picks:

    The Best Christmas Gifts These 9 Nigerians Have Ever Received

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    How Nigerian Students Prepare for Exams (in 12 Bad Habits)

  • 2021 Best Christmas Gifts from Blackview

    Christmas is around the corner. Looking for some nice tech gadgets as Christmas gifts for your dad, uncles, nephew or any male recipients while not wanting to break your bank? Maybe this guide to Christmas gifts for men will give you a big hand, as we have rounded up some men-oriented Blackview smart devices yet only at a fraction of the cost of a high–end flagship.

    Read on to see whether you can find one or two that suit your needs.

    Gift Priced under $50

    Fitbuds 1

    Fitbuds 1 is a pair of collar bluetooth earphones which two earbuds can be attached together, forming a circle around their neck to avoid losing. With noise cancellation technology, it can make your loved one have clear calls with their friends, siblings or offsprings who live far-away.

    Price: $49.99 $39.99

    AirBuds 1

    AirBuds 1 is a chic and affordable alternative to AirPods and its all-black and stylish appearance can no doubt win the heart of young men mainly under 35. Featuring Bluetooth 5.0 chip, it cuts out disconnects and freezes and lets your ear revel in crystal-clear and crisp tunes. For music enthusiasts who care about sound quality or men who like to listen to audiobooks in the subway, consider giving them a pair of Blackview AirBuds 1.

    Price: $59.99 $39.99

    AirBuds 3

    Long gone are the days when people jog in the early morning, holding phones in hands with long cords dangling to their earbuds. Blackview’s AirBuds 3 wireless earphone is now under 40$ in Christmas, it is possibly the best earbuds you can get for your loved one at this price range.

    Price: $49.99 $39.99

    R 6

    R6 is a heath tracking rugged smartwatch for Men. It provides always-on heart rate and sleep monitoring as well as mindful breathing training. For those who have cardiac issues or sleep problems, R6 can be a genuine reminder of physical ailments. Get an R6 for your father or grandpa as a Christmas gift and they will surely be satisfied with it.

    Price: $69.99 $49.99

  • QUIZ: What Should You Gift Your Loved Ones for Christmas?

    Are you having a hard time deciding what gifts to get for your loved ones this Christmas?

    Take this quiz and we’ll give you suggestions they’ll actually love.

    Celebrations is a one-stop solution provider of carefully selected gift items, curated hampers, cards, and premium lifestyle needs, such as fragrance, home fragrances( scented candles, diffusers), home ware, party ware, confectionery, toys and so much more.

    They’ve also got you covered with expert gift wrapping services. Visit Celebrations stores in Lagos, Jos or Abuja to source for beautiful gifts your loved ones absolutely treasure! Or shop online here.

  • Five Ways to Gift Your Loved Ones this Christmas

    Can you feel it in the air? Christmas is here!

    The holidays are a great time to relax with the year winding down. You get to spend time with family, eat great food, and of course, there are gifts!

    Need some ideas for the best gifts to give this season? We’ve got you covered!

    1. Take them to a concert

    This season is heaven for music lovers because many great concerts are happening. If your loved ones love music, take them to the Livespot X Festival. It’s a week-long concert series featuring artistes like Wizkid, Tiwa Savage, P-Square, Tems and 40 more artistes you won’t want to miss.

    2. Give gifts vouchers

    Who doesn’t love a blank check! Instead of thinking endlessly about what gift to get your loved one, you could give them a voucher and let them decide what they want. This makes it easier to give them something they’ll appreciate.

    3. Gift them with MTN shares

    This is probably the best gift you can give your loved one this season. Why? Because it’s a gift that keeps giving! The minimum subscription is 20 shares at N169 per share. So with N3,380, you can set your loved ones up with financial investments that will profit them. You can get more info on this here.

    4. Create a unique experience

    With the travel restrictions around the world, you may not be able to go to the Maldives. Still, you could visit a park, go to a game centre, and engage in other fun activities this season while adhering to the COVID-19 guidelines and protocols.

    5. Buy a thoughtful present

    Everyone has something at the top of their Christmas list, and you can play Santa this year! You could secretly get it for them and leave it under the Christmas tree or on their bedside table if you’re not into the Christmas tree drama. It doesn’t have to be expensive; it just has to be thoughtful!

    There you have it! Five sure ways to spread Christmas cheer this holiday season.

  • 10 Valuable Gifts You Can Buy For A Nigerian Man That Has Everything

    The question of what to buy a man that has everything is a true dilemma for the girlies. Because we are so helpful, we’ve put together a list of things you can get them. 

    1. Table mat

    Nigerian men are always asking what women bring to the table. You can buy a set of table mats to set the table for the other things you will bring to the table. 

    2. BYC singlet

    Forget what they say, they actually love the singlets. After complaining, they will wear it all the time until it has holes and you have to buy them another one. 

    3. Wristwatch straps

    You probably cannot afford to buy the wristwatch so just buy the straps and he will know you have tried. 

    4. 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner and moisturizer

    Men who have everything got there by working hard. Sometimes they don’t have time to shower and do a skincare routine afterwards. This is where a 3-in-1 skincare product comes in. Save their time. 

    5. Ring box

    He’s going to propose anyway so you can just help him out by buying him a ring box for him to put your ring in when he’s ready. 

    Diamond ring in a blue box – 3d render

    6. Magnetic earrings

    Especially if he works in tech and has recently developed an interest in jewellery. Magnetic earrings will help him decide if he wants to pierce his ear or not. 

    7. Black nail polish

    Yes, he has everything but does he have black nail polish? If he does, buy him one that has glitters in it. Help him push the standards of masculinity. 

    8. A sex toy

    You can buy him a fleshlight toy for when you’re not there so he can think of you while he masturbates. You can also add magun so when he is thinking of someone else while he is using it, the thing will hook on his penis. Thank me later. 

    9. Flowers

    Pretty sure nobody has ever sent him flowers. You can send flowers to his home office along with lunch so he knows you appreciate that he works his ass off to sponsor your baby girl lifestyle. 

    10. Gold necklace with your name on it

    After all your investments, it’s only right you claim him by marking your territory. It doesn’t have to be your full name. It can just be your initials. 

    If you buy any of these gifts and he doesn’t propose within the next three months, dump his ass and invest in another man who has it all. 

  • 11 Gifts Every Young Nigerian Adult Needs this Christmas

    If they’re young, and Nigerian, these eleven gifts will definitely make their Christmas.

    And if your budget is tighter than skinny jeans, you can always opt for number three.

    1. Money

    Just open your wallet and slap them with 2 million in a foreign currency.

    Christmas, Sponsored post,

    2. Plot of land

    Life’s too short for them not to be a landlord too. If a land on Banana Island will tear your pocket, they can manage Lekki.

    3. Luxury hampers

    Hampers take the hard work out of gifting. Be sure to add these items; alcoholic and alcohol-free wines, curated gift boxes, jams, 2022 starter pack, small chops, bathroom slippers to trek inside traffic, olive oil for glowing skin, shades to hide from enemies, and other unique items which you can find only at Celebrations.

    4. House rent

    Boya if you cannot buy land, you can pay two years rent upfront. T for thank you very much.

    5. The grace of God

    It looks like that is the only thing that does not have comma in Nigeria.

    6. Confectioneries/sweets

    Nobody has to wait till birthdays to indulge in some sweet toothed chop-chop. Gift a Nigerian young adult chocolates or biscuits today. G for God bless.

    7. Christmas scents/fragrances

    You can’t go wrong with diffusers, scented candles for your homes and perfumes. Why? Nobody wants to enter 2022 smelling like all the stress of 2021 combined

    8. Your destiny helper’s number

    Oh, you think it’s only you your destiny helper was created for? Everybody must collect their share of “help”, and that’s that about that.

    9. Teddy bear

    Nothing slaps more than a soft, comforting teddy to hold onto after carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Since human teddies are now hard to find.

    10. Somebody’s son/daughter

    Why wait till “one day” for somebody’s son or daughter to love you, when they can be gifted to you now?

    11. Space in your relationship

    If you cannot find someone’s son or daughter to gift a young, Nigerian adult, the next option is to create space in your relationship. In this case, three isn’t a crowd.

    Unleash the Christmas spirit with gifts!

    Celebrations is a one-stop solution provider of carefully selected gift items, curated hampers, cards, and premium lifestyle needs, such as fragrance, home fragrances( scented candles, diffusers), home ware, party ware, confectionery, toys and so much more.

    Is wrapping gifts not one of your strong suits?

    They’ve got you covered with expert gift wrapping services. Visit Celebrations stores in Lagos, Jos or Abuja to source for beautiful gifts your loved ones absolutely treasure! Or shop online here.

  • 10 Gifts That Will Make A Nigerian Babe Love You More

    Christmas is upon us and you know how gifts make the season sweeter. Here’s a list of gifts you can buy your Nigerian babe. 

    girl with christmas gifts

    1. Scented candles

    Scented candles are always a delight to receive and there are so many scents to choose from. Just make sure it’s not something they are allergic to and you’re good. 

    2. A dress

    Although the girlies are now denouncing ashawo dresses, these are a ton of other dresses you can buy. From short dresses to dinner gowns for date nights, the choice is yours. She just has to be into dresses. A good tip is to buy a colour that makes her skin pop. 

    3. Shoes 

    Shoes are a safe bet. Some babes prefer sneakers to heels, you might want to be sure what her preference is before making any purchases. 

    4. Coloured eyeliner 

    Coloured liners are definitely in vogue right now. The thing with those liners is that you don’t have to have a full face beat to wear it.

    5. Bone straight 

    Yes, Bone straight weaves are still in style and the girlies still want them. Take it up a notch and pay for the weave to be made into a wig. Thank us later. 

    6. Spa day 

    Spa days include body massages, facials, manicures, pedicures and other body treatments. Honestly, everyone living in Nigeria right now deserves a spa day, don’t deny your babe of one. 

    7. Eden life plan 

    Eden is all about soft life. They will take care of her laundry, her meals and her cleaning for as long as you are willing to pay for. You have to be careful sha, she might fall in love with her gardener. 

    8. iPhone 13 

    So they can take bomb pictures for you and you alone. Everyone wins. 

    9. Apple watch 

    If she already had the iPhone 13, this would make such a good gift for her. 

    10. Money

    If all else fails, you can always just send money to her PiggyVest account and make her richer. We rise by lifting others. 

    Subscribe to our newsletter here.

  • QUIZ: Which Of Erica’s Birthday Gifts Are You?

    Yesterday, beloved BBN star, Erica Nlewedim turned 27.

    Take this quiz and we’ll tell you which of her gifts you are.

  • 7 Gifts Nigerian Men DO NOT Want This Valentine

    Valentine is coming again and, as usual, Nigerian women a particular set of people are getting ready to furnish their men with the usual gifts we see every year. I’ve decided to save you the trouble and make a list of things Nigerian men don’t want to receive this year. If you really want to be a useful member of your relationship, you can find a list of things to buy your man for valentine’s here.

    1. Sex

    For the 5482nd time, sex is NOT a gift. Nobody ever thinks “You know what I’d really want for Valentine’s Day? Sex.” Nobody. Ever. Is it not the same sex that you’re having every other day?

    2. Singlet and boxers

    Did he tell you he doesn’t have underwear? Did he tell you he is suffering?

    3. Handkerchief

    Unless your man is a professional traditional dancer, I don’t see why you should be buying him handkerchief.

    pancocojams: Nigerian Culture: Igbo Women Dancing With White Handkerchiefs

    4. Pen

    We know they said that the pen is mightier than the sword but it doesn’t mean it makes a great gift. Put in more effort abeg.

    5. BYC T-shirt/Chase Deer

    Resist the urge to be unfortunate, please.

    6. “3000 Reasons Why I Love You”

    Okay but na love we go chop? Who are you giving homework to go and be reading?

    7. Face on Pillow/Mug

    If he wants to know what he looks like, he has mirror at home.

    [donation]

  • 6 Valentine’s Day Gifts You’ll Get If Your Partner Is Having An Affair

    Gifting is a very important way of being reminded that your partner still cares about you, even when they are cheating.  You can catch your cheating partner by the quality of gifts you receive this Valentine’s Day.

    If you are gifted anything on this list, hold their collar till they confess.

    1. A date at a fancy restaurant

    How do they know this fancy restaurant you’ve never been to before? It’s because they have already tried it out with one of their hoes. If you look well, you’ll see that the waiter even recognises them.

    Order the most expensive thing on the menu for revenge. 

    2. Scented candles

    If they buy you scented candles, it is because they don’t want you to smell their other partners’ scent on them when they come home from a long day of shameless cheating.

    Don’t light the candles until you have smelt them.

    3. A flight ticket to an exotic resort

    They have finished cheating at home, now they want to go international. While you are getting a massage, they will have enough time to sneak around and find new people to cheat on you with.

    Do not let them out of your sight.

    4. New clothes

    If they do this, they are projecting the style of their favourite lover onto you. They are using style to tell you that the way you dress isn’t up to par, and that’s why they are cheating in the first place.

    You can use the clothes to fish out who in their life dresses like that.

    5. A life-size teddy bear

    Not only are they cheating, but they do not plan to stop. They know they will be out cheating day and night, so they have decided to give you a companion for all times they won’t be around.

    Reject that gift immediately. 

    6. Great sex

    In this case, they have cheated so much that they have now become experts at making others cum nine times in one day. They now want to give you leftover pleasure.

    Don’t not be distracted by detty orgasms.

  • 5 Things Men Actually Want In A Relationship

    Here’s a common Twitter scenario: A woman posts a tweet saying “This man’s birthday is coming and I don’t know what to get him.” Some clowns will quote the tweet, saying she should give him 1,500 and boxers. 

    Since women are always so confused about things Nigerian men actually want, we the nice people at Zikoko made a handy list of things Nigerian men really want.

    1. Actual gifts

    Let’s start from here. Singlet and boxers are NOT gifts, no matter how you package it. Examples of actual gifts men actually want are a brand new set of car tyres, a Macbook Pro, whatever iPhone is the latest, or a Fossil watch. Handkerchief and singlet will not cut it anymore.

    2. Peace of Mind

    If actual gifts are too much for you to buy (of course), Nigerian men can really settle for peace of mind. Allow them to rest. It’s not every time you’ll be pressing our necks. Let us breathe.

    3. Allow him to date other people

    I mean, of course, Nigerian women will never dream of giving anybody piece of mind, so how about you let him date other women once in a while? Just a little cheating? No? Okay.

    4. Order him a week’s worth of lunch

    This one is one of the best things you can do for the man you love so much.

    5. Sponsor a weekend getaway

    If none of the above appeals to you, you can consider sponsoring weekend holiday, within and outside Nigeria. As long as I don’t see another tweet saying “I don’t know what to get for this man.”

    You probably want to read this: What Does A Round Of Sex Mean To You? We Asked 6 Nigerians

    Man Like. Coming soon to Z!

  • 6 Gifts Your Nigerian Girlfriend Definitely Wants You To Buy

    If you date Nigerian women, you know that one way they show their love and appreciation for you is by giving you singlet and boxers for your birthday. What a thoughtful gift, isn’t it?

    It is your turn to return the favour and show how much you love and appreciate your Nigerian woman. We compiled a list of things women absolutely want to be bought. (Source: Bureau of Imaginary Statistics)

    1. Jar with 365 reasons why you love her.

    Love You Always Jar of Romantic Notes | KindNotes Unique Gifts

    Women don’t really want much. They just want to hear how much you love them. Why not write 365 reasons why you love her and put it in a jar. If you’re feeling nice, you can write it on coloured paper.

    2. Flowers

    Nigerian women love flowers. Just get her a bunch of flowers. No need to buy anything else.

    Can A Guy Still Catch A Girl By Writing Her Love Poems? - Romance ...

    3. Lipgloss

    I can assure you she doesn’t want too much. Just a lip gloss would do. If you’re feeling nice, make it two to show her how much you love her.

    Victoria Secret 5pcs Lip Gloss price from konga in Nigeria - Yaoota!

    4. Three months supply of sanitary pad

    Groceries :: TOILETRIES :: Always Ultra Sanitary Pad - 8 Pads (pink)

    We all know how tough periods can be. Why not eliminate some of her worries by buying her sanitary towels for her birthday? Best. Partner. Ever.

    5. Body Fantasies

    Body Fantasies Vanilla Fantasy Body Spray For Women 236ml ...

    This is for when you’re feeling ultra generous and you want to spoil her. She’s been a great girlfriend all year; it is time to reward her with this.

    6. Peace of mind

    Women love how to brag about how they don’t need to give their men anything because they give him peace of mind. How about you give them a taste? Gift them this peace of mind and call it a day. Till next year.

    Read this one: 5 Things To Do When You Get A Salary Increase.

  • 5 Thoughtful Gifts To Get Your Friends During Harmattan:

    In a land of dust, and time of ashy skin, the fate of your social clout rests on the type of presents you get your friends…the name: thoughtfulness. Here are five thoughtful gifts to make your friends go: “who send you message?”

    Cold Medicine

    With all the dust in the air, everyone is either sneezing or coughing. For friends experiencing allergies, you can offer to refill their prescriptions. In addition, you could also get Vitamin C tablets as they are very helpful during this period. They help to boost immunity and prevent breakdowns that are common during this season.

    Lotion

    If you are a good friend like me, you certainly do not want your friend setting off any bushfire from all that ashy skin. You can go the whole mile; from lip balm, to hand lotion, to body lotion. The goal is to let my people moisturize!

    The difference your gift makes.

    Water Bottle

    I do not say this lightly, this the period to drink loads of water…and also mind your business. A whole lot. All that dry weather results in dehydration and you obviously do not want your friends to gas out on you. If you want them to be alive to witness you get married, give birth to little unemployed rascals, then buy them water bottles so they can drink water to their heart content and live long.

    Not this size but you get the idea.

    Canada-style Clothing

    Seriously, what is the difference between Harmattan and Winter? See this as preparing your friends for greatness. This is the chance to gift them something multi-purpose – useful in their interim country (here) and also in their real country(abroad). Thick clothes are vital for surviving the intense cold during this season.

    Money

    Let us be serious for a minute, money can keep you warm, moisturize you, hydrate you, and even revitalize you. This is the gift to end all gifts. The best part? They won’t see it coming because they have been blindsided by all the Detty December they had to do. No need to thank us, we are here to serve you.

    Did we miss any gift? let us know in the comment section.

  • 8 Perfect Christmas Gifts For That One Relative You Hate

    Yes, it’s almost Christmas again. That glorious time of year where you wonder what exactly is going on with Nigeria’s weather (where is harmattan?!) while dreading the awful reunion with family members you’d actually rather swallow a handful of broken glass than spend time with.

    You’ll also have to keep up the charade you all do every year of giving each other gifts you know damn well neither of you couldn’t care less about. Like picture frames or custom mugs that say weirdly personalized and – at the same time – general greetings like, “World’s Best Relative“.

    Well, fear not. Because this year, I’m here to help you have fun with this year’s gift giving process.

    1) Bed Sheet and pillowcase set:

    They’ll be shocked as hell that you splurged on something this nice and will feel super terrible while handing you the 6th mug in 6 years. What they won’t know is that you lined the bedsheets and pillowcases with bed bugs the night before. The ultimate Trojan horse.

    2) Throw pillows:

    Also, stuffed with bed bugs.

    3) Cheap perfume:

    Preferably, something social media-themed that costs N400 and you (and they) know that it smells like hot, steamy garbage in a can.

    4) A self-help book. Preferably, this one:

    Then slip in a hand-written note that says, “I figured you’d want to know why you act like such an inflamed asshole all the time.”

    5) “Accidentally” send them something you know that they’re allergic to. Like a cat OR:

    6) Anti-wrinkle cream.

    Hand it to them along with a picture of them that you’ve labelled to let them know which of their body part needs it the most. Let it be a picture of them that you’ve written the word EVERYWHERE across.

    7) A spice collection where you’ve switched out the thyme for weed.

    And switched out the salt for cocaine.

    8) The 6th book in an interesting, ongoing, but obscure book series.

    So that when they almost lose their minds getting into the story (by guessing at five books worth of plot elements), they’ll also have a difficult time finding the rest of the books.

  • 1. Toothpaste and brush

    So they can wash out all the lies in their mouth.

    2. Fake iPad

    Because that is exactly how they faked a relationship with you.

    3. Empty gift box

    Because your relationship with them was…empty!

    4. Agege Bread

    Let them open the gift in front of you so you can video their disappointment and laugh at it forever!

    5. Body spray and anti-perspirant

    Because you heard their current bae has body odour.

    6. This book

    Seriously! Get it here to help their lives.
  • If You Are Tired of Getting Nonsense Christmas Gifts, This Is For You

    1. When you’re excited about Christmas presents then you remember all your loved ones always misbehave.

    They give gifts like people that don’t have sense.

    2. Your mother says her gift to you is the gift of life so you should not disturb her.

    Na wa oh!

    3. Your father is always buying you things you can never use as if you asked him.

    Excuse me sir is it fair?

    4. Your junior sister is constantly re-gifting you the gifts you bought her in the past.

    That one is kuku a 419.

    5. Your senior brother always sends one useless book that nobody including him has any interest in reading.

    Professor is that why we are here?

    6. That your uncle that has been giving you teddy bears every single year even though you are now over 18.

    Is this my life?

    7. That aunty that sends christmas broadcast with prayers and thinks that one is a present.

    Na wa for you ma!

    8. That’s why we love those uncles that send Christmas credit alert.

    Better human being!

    9. And those aunties that send shoes, bags and fabric.

    The best babes.

    10. In fact, Chigul put it best!

    11. If your present does not make sense, keep it please.

    It’s not by force!

    12. All we want is something tangible for Christmas!

  • If You Are Terrible At Gift Giving This Is For You

    1. When another event comes up and you have to think of what present to buy.

    2. When someone says you should stop buying boxers and singlets as gifts on valentines day.

    3. When you need to buy presents for a teenager.

    4. When all the things your parents like are expensive.

    5. When everyone says “it’s the thought that counts” but still abuse the presents you give.

    6. When people say you should put thought into a gift and not just give money.

    7. When you mistakenly regift a gift to the person that gave you the gift.

  • 10 Great Gifts To Give Your Nigerian Boyfriend For Valentine’s Day
    Public service announcement on behalf of the guys: it is time to stop the underwear sets, the white shirts, the polos. It is time to get creative with your gifts. Are you confused on what to get your boyfriend? We made this just in time. Grab a pen and paper.

    1. A Timepiece

    Truth is you will hardly find a guy that doesn’t own one. A beautiful (original please) watch, will really go a long way in making him happy. (Tip: put a corny joke about time and your relationship e.g. the time is always right with you).

    2. Gaming CDs or Consoles

    Depending on your budget, either would work. Have you ever heard him talking to his friends about a game CD he wants to get? Yeah, perfect opportunity, go get him that one! He won’t have time to cheat on you while playing it.

    3. Perfume or cologne

    You sure do want your man smelling good. Invest some money and get him a really good perfume. And no not Active man or 212 men. Get a Versace or a Polo or an Oud depending on your budget. Something to cherish.

    4. Take him out on Valentine’s day

    Probably did not see that coming. Take your boyfriend to a nice restaurant somewhere and pay for it. Try beat him to his plans for you, and turn the tables that day. He will never forget it.

    5. Give him an attire

    There are uncountable tailors and fashion designers that can make the perfect agbada or kaftan without measuring you. Check his shirt sizes and pant sizes and get him that “designer agbada” or “designer kaftan”.

    6. Alcohol hamper

    If you have a boyfriend that likes or loves to drink, wines, spirits, whiskey, rum or even orijin. Get an arrangement of his favorite drinks get about four or five according to your budget and watch him light up.

    7. Food

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BBX4Emip-A-/?taken-by=phummyndeps
    Why is this here? Is your boyfriend a hungry bachelor, or too busy and always eats out? Great, there are chefs that can make bowls of food, packaged and ready that could last for three weeks. Upsides, he will keep thinking of you each time he eats.

    8. Sports jerseys

    This is a really good idea. Your boyfriend probably supports Manchester United or Arsenal. If he doesn’t have a jersey you should get him one with his name and favorite number on it. Make it grand give him a home and away jersey. One in the morning the other in the evening and go, another one.

    9. A pair of shoes

    You sure do want your man to look and dress good, he probably has a photo of a pair of shoes he really wants somewhere on his phone. Surprise him and get him those exact ones. monk shoes, brogues, desert boots these are really perfect or work out shoes if he is fit fam.

    10. Accessory sets

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BBZgzaxmdKe/?taken-by=ttdalk
    So if you didn’t find anything on this list, you can settle for this. There are stores that make customised accessory sets, from pens, belts, wallets, shoes, cufflinks, lapel pins, tie clips and a number of these. Get him about two or three good accessories and he will thank you later.