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ghost | Zikoko!
  • 6 Things To Do When You Are Ghosted In A Talking Stage

    6 Things To Do When You Are Ghosted In A Talking Stage

    What happens when you finally realise that the person you are “talking to” will probably not reply your message ever again? Well, if you are ever ghosted while in a talking stage, then you can try any of these six things.

    1) Become a ghost

    Since they have decided to ghost you, the best thing is to become a ghost and hunt their family. Since they like ghosting so much, they would not mind having one follow them for the rest of their life right? Haunt them.

    2) Marry their relative

    If they think they can escape by ghosting you, they have another thing coming. You should simply marry one of their relatives. Bonus points if it is their parent or sibling. That way, they will be forced to see you. Christmas dinner, Eid, New Year, etc. They can’t escape all of the celebration.

    3) Become their boss

    Find out where they work and work towards being the manager. How much can they ignore when they have to give you a report every first day of the week? If they own a business, buy it. This is more of a long game plan. You might not have a degree in whatever they are studying, but you can always get it.

    4) Befriend their parents

    If you are friends with their parents, then you can always pop by to visit them. They do not need to know your ulterior motive. You should always plan your unexpected visits around the time they tell you their child is coming. Ghosted but not forgotten.

    5) Become their neighbour

    If they live in a rented apartment, rent one of the flats in the building. If they have their own house, buy the one next to them. There is only so much they can do to avoid a neighbour that refuses to be avoided.

    you every single time you hear their gate open

    6) Move on

    This might seem like the most ridiculous option given, but maybe you should just take your L and move on. They don’t want to have anything to do with you, and although it hurts, you will be fine.

    For more articles on what is inside the life, please click here


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  • 6 Ways To Know Your House Is Haunted

    6 Ways To Know Your House Is Haunted

    A haunted house is never fun when you live in one. The idea of ghosts sharing your toothbrush and watching you shower and have sex is something you might want to consider. Here is a list of ways to check if your house is haunted.

    1. Doors open and close randomly

    If doors and windows randomly fly open and shut down at will, you live in a haunted house. Obviously, the ghost needs you to know that they may not pay rent but they co-own the house. You might want to attribute this to the breeze but how come you never feel the breeze on your body? Fink about it.

    2. You sometimes hear your name

    You are alone in the house and you know it but you can hear someone calling your name. Sometimes, it’s so loud that you answer before realising “oh wait, I live alone.” Scientist says it’s a sign of a healthy mind but I say it’s the house spirits just letting you know that you are never alone.

    3. Your clothes start to take shape in the dark

    If your pile of clothes ever start to look like anything other than clothes, it’s not your schizophrenia kicking in. It’s the house spirits. If they take the extra step of making the clothes move in any way, you might want to perform an exorcism. 

    4. You have experienced sleep paralysis

    If you’ve ever felt a pressing weight on your chest as voices hum incoherently while you mentally struggle to move but find yourself stuck, congratulation, the house spirits want you dead. 

    5. Things are never where you keep them

    When you forget where your keys, phone, or anything is, it’s not a sign of budding dementia it’s the house spirits playing mind tricks on you. Your house is obviously haunted. The stove, pressing iron, and other fire-starting appliances being left on isn’t your doing. Know this and know peace. 

    6. You feel a presence 

    There are times you sit and suddenly, you feel there is someone else in the room. No, this isn’t a mental disorder, it’s isn’t because you haven’t taken your meds, it’s the house spirit. Your house is haunted and they want you to know. 

    If you like spooky stories, check out our Nigerian Horror Story