Slang or rubbish?
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I hate to be one of those people, but while I appreciate the wide range of Afrobeats at the moment, a part of me is still nostalgic about the songs and artistes who raised me.
I’ve been listening to some of them again recently, so I decided to give them their flowers and do a little digging to find out what some of them are up to now.
Olu Maintain
Nigeria is never beating these 419 allegations because how did a song about doing yahoo-yahoo become the country’s unofficial anthem in 2007? Olu Maintain’s Yahoozee was so big I remember watching him perform it in front of then-President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua.
But even before Yahoozee, Olu Maintain was responsible for 1990s hits like Catch Cold and Wifey.
Mo’Cheddah
Miley Cyrus’ Hannah Montana might’ve raised some of you, but my teen female pop icon was, and will always be, Mo’Cheddah. This babe gave attitude, fashion and range with songs like If You Want Me and Ko Ma Roll. No one was doing it like Mo’Cheddah from 2009 to 2010, both within and outside rap in Nigeria.
Even though Mo has given up music for the lifestyle-content-creator-mummy lifestyle, she’s still one of the baddest to ever do it, and that’s on Mary and her little lamb.
Naeto C
For millennial Nigerians, life is divided into life before Naeto C’s Kini Big Deal and life after. Economies were saved, clubs were popping, MP3 players were on fire, and life was good, all because Naeto C sang the lyrics, “Wahalai lai talai, gimme lighter. Shebi shebi, we’re on fire.”
Naeto C has evolved from yummy rapper to yummy Instagram daddy and husband. Even though I want new music, watching him and Nicole Chikwe serve couple goals is enough for me.
Terry G
Is it me, or did Terry G’s Free Madness come out 15 years too early? We were all relatively sane when he dropped that and Akpako, but after the shege we’ve seen over the years, omo, Nigerians are currently running on madness, vibes and long island.
I discovered that Terry G still makes music, so I feel this is the right time for Free Madness 3.0. Does anyone have his WhatsApp number so I can pitch my idea?
RECOMMENDED: Gen Zs, Here are the Biggest Nigerian Songs From the Year You Were Born
Soul E
Soul E’s short run in the Nigerian music industry feels like a fever dream. One minute he’s climbing charts with Soul E Baba and singing with 2Face on E Be Like Say. Next thing, the man is announcing that he’s an apostle.
Happy for you, sir, but you could still drop a gospel album. I won’t be mad at that.
Kas
I know what you’re thinking, “Conrad, but Kas had only two hit songs, Fimile and Whine for Me“, and my response is:
Imagine leaving such an indelible impression with just two songs that people still ask of you over ten years later? I mean, look at the material. But like Soul E, Kas is now a man of God, so we’ll have to manage these songs until we get raptured or something.
Shank
Before Burna Boy began serving dancehall-inspired jams like Run My Race and Check & Balance, Shank was the original don gorgon of reggae and dancehall in Nigeria. Remember Julie and Ghetto? Shank was the music industry’s resident bad boy, churning out hits and getting tattoos like it was nobody’s business (to be fair, it’s actually no one’s business).
Burna might be the African giant now, but best believe he’s standing on the shoulders of artistes like Shank.
Sasha P
If there’s one rap song I can rap bar for bar with a gun to my head, it’s Sasha’s 2007 hit, Adara. Dropping the song as a response to the haters who called her a one-hit wonder after the success of 2004’s Emi Le Gan, Adara was a significant part of my early teens. Even though I couldn’t see them, I was super confident I had haters too.
Sasha, we don’t have a lot of female rappers in Nigeria today. Do you maybe want to help us with an album or two?
QUIZ: Can You Identify The Artist Who Popularised Each Of These Nigerian Dances?
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From your choice of snacks, we’ll tell you if you’re Gen X or your back hurts.
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Was your 2022 “giving”, or was the entire year a classic case of “the math ain’t mathing”? Gen Z slangs describe it best, and this quiz will let you know which one sums up your year.
Take the quiz:
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If you’re a Gen Z, premium enjoyment is most likely your first, second, and third priority. Apart from that, nothing else really concerns you. So, here’s everything you need to truly settle into that soft life.
First, you need to have zero tolerance for stress
If you think you can still manage with a little inconvenience here or there, then you’re not ready yet. You’re still catching feelings for the struggle life. But if you don’t like a single bit of stress, then here’s what you need to do.
Have money
You can’t be saying no to stress without having plenty of money to speak for you. If you want to taste the soft life while broke, you will see pepper.
Or have rich parents
Your life will be even easier if your parents are wealthy. But you still need to have your own money because they might not approve of the extent of your enjoyment.
Have a second passport
You need to stay guided with your second passport, preferably from a country that uses +44 or +91. Because Nigeria will stress you so much, you’ll need to take trips to cool your head off.
Have constant light
“Up NEPA” cannot be your portion if you’re planning to enjoy yourself as a Gen Z. If you don’t have light for at least 20 hours a day, how exactly is your life soft?
Your drip needs to scream “luxury”
You need to make a statement with your dress. You can’t be planning for enjoyment and wearing clothes that’ll make your estate security stop you at the gate . Your wardrobe needs to fall in line with your plans.
Make sure to add a pair of crocs
You can trust me because I’m Gen Z. This is the maggi that brings together the school uniform for Gen Zs that are enjoying the soft life. Will you start wearing it everywhere you go and look like a homeless person sometimes? Yes. Will it be worth it? Also yes.
Try out new restaurants every weekend
A bit of ambience and variety are what you’re going for here. You can sample a Chinese restaurant this week and visit a roadside buka the next weekend, just to confuse your enemies.
Make your Instagram lit
Document the life of leisure that you’re living with full doses of inspirational captions: Iskelebetiolebebebee — nobody knows what it means, but it gets the people going.
The intensity of your enjoyment needs to be felt everywhere please, both offline and online.
Have fast internet
We don’t need to say much about this one. You know half of your life is going to be on the internet, so don’t make the mistake of having a slow internet connection because your life will be hard for no reason. Pick a good service provider and save yourself any stress.
Use Paga to handle your money
You need to use Paga because you’re not a maga, and you can’t have your money giving you an attitude when you’re trying to spend it. If fast payments, better cards experience and total freedom with your money sound good to you, then you definitely want to use it to handle your money. Start your journey here.
NEXT READ: People, This Is What Soft Life Actually Means
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GenZs hardly ever like anything or anybody, including their (millennial) siblings. They don’t think you’re cool or woke, so they don’t like you. If you have a GenZ sibling, let me tell you how to get on their good side. I’m speaking from experience.
Record TikTok videos with them
You’ll have to sacrifice your millennial hips to do their trendy TikTok dances with them. Maybe they’ll pity you and give you the less complicated ones.
Don’t comment on any of their social media accounts
You’re lucky that they allow you to follow them on social media sef, so don’t ruin it. Just look and pass when you see their posts. Hold yourself from dropping that “funny” comment. They’ll block you.
Stay away from their love life
I know you want to ask a million questions about that person your sibling is always video calling, but don’t. Don’t try to do, “I’m your older sibling. I need to protect you from people.” Just face front and mind your business. They’ll eventually tell you if they want to.
ALSO READ: Nigerian Millennials Respond to Nigerian Gen Z’ers Dragging Them
Don’t say “pim” about their fashion choices
Gen Z fashuonz is very unique. You may not understand what your sibling is wearing, or why, but don’t say anything. If not, they’ll drag you by saying “Okay boomer”. If you want them to like you, again, mind your business.
At least try to listen to their music
It’s time to go and download trap and alté music onto your phone. Quick tip: trap musicians usually have “Lil” at the beginning of their names or “Baby” at the end.
Learn their vocabulary
You need to know when to say insert GenZ lingo like “purr”, “period” and “it’s giving…” during the conversation. If not, they’ll think you’re boring and won’t like giving you gist.
ALSO READ: If Gen Zs Don’t Say These 12 Things in a Day, They Might Actually Die
Always have WiFi
If there’s one thing GenZs always do is look for where to charge their phone and ask for WiFi. Once you allow them to connect to your hotspot, you become their favourite person.
Don’t call them too much
They don’t really like calls; they prefer texts. If you call them too much, you may get blocked. I’m not joking, this generation is brutal.
Send them money
In fact, if you don’t do anything else on this list, do this one consistently. They’ll love you for life.
ALSO READ: The Gen Z Guide to Keeping Older Friends
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Hear Me Out is a weekly limited series where Ifoghale and Ibukun share the unsolicited opinions some people are thinking, others are living but everyone should hear.
This Hear Me Out was written by Aladeselu Margaret Ayomikun.
Of all the things a girl could be in this world, I chose to be a 19-year-old feminist in Nigeria. I was 9 years old the first time I read Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Purple Hibiscus. Even though I could only understand the book the best way a child can, I still remember feeling like I had discovered the eighth wonder of the world.
“Being defiant can be a good thing sometimes.”These words stood out to me. Aunty Ifeoma was just a character in a book, but she gave me permission to embrace my “defiance”.
It seemed almost impossible that somebody could give ordinary words so much power. And the more I flipped through the pages, the more I felt as if Chimamanda was writing my mother’s story. Then, it occurred to me that many women in Nigeria are just like Mama. In that very moment, I knew I had to know more about the author.
As a Gen Z feminist, you must be ready to become the topic of every family meeting.
I picked up my older sister’s phone and started my little quest for answers. It was during this process I discovered the word feminist, and when I knew what it meant, I knew I had found my identity.
I had found my identity.
The world will always come up with new ways to objectify and sexualise women. I grew up wearing mini-skirts and thin-strap tops my mother bought for me at bend-down-select. I was called a slut for the first time when I was only 10. And as weird as it might sound, it was my own mother who called me that. According to her, people were starting to talk, my breasts were poking through the thin fabric of my favourite tops. One day, she looked at me with distaste and called me a slut.
As a Gen Z feminist, you must be ready to become the topic of every family meeting. You should also prepare yourself for endless unsolicited opinions. I have come to realise my feminism terrifies a lot of people; it makes them angry. If I didn’t have such a coconut head, perhaps, I would’ve cared.
I’ve always been vocal about my feminism. I would walk into a room and somehow, start talking about women’s rights. The world has a long history of despising “loud women.” The result of that is I’ve had to sit through painfully long hours of my parents giving me “the talk” about how no man will ever want a wife who won’t submit.
Several times, I’ve listened to my brother try to convince me that identifying as a feminist would make people hate me. He suggested I try other terms like “gender rights advocate.” I’ve seen my name become the butt of jokes about Nigerian feminists in my school. People have asked, “Oh, you’re a feminist?” I imagine they pity the person who would marry me.
And I can’t forget my religious friends who remind me that feminism is not part of God’s plan. As a matter of fact, I’ve been bullied in church because of my feminism.
On a “special Sunday”, youth pastors were walking in circles, selecting random people in the congregation to answer questions. One pastor called me out and asked, “What would you do if your husband wants you to cook, do his laundry, do the dishes and clean the house, every single day?” My answer was simple. “I would tell him I’m his wife, not a slave.”
I was walking back to my seat when a young man requested to speak next. “Women like her are the problem of the church”. Even though these words were coming from a complete stranger, they still stung. There is a common idea that feminists are “strong” and have a “tough skin”, but we’re only human.
What’s it about my feminism that terrifies people? Why does it make people’s blood boil?
I was publicly humiliated at school once. I was in the middle of a heated argument about how Nigerian culture needs to be reformed until it acknowledges that daughters deserve the same respect sons get without even trying. There was a look of disgust on the faces of the men I was arguing with because I was suggesting something as “sacred” as culture needed to be reformed.
Not just that, the only woman who agreed with me expressed her view in low whispers. I was still trying to make people see the sense in what I was saying when I felt somebody yank my wig off my head. The loud echoes of laughter that followed right after broke my heart. I cried horribly for days because that was the smallest I’d ever felt in my entire life. I didn’t tell anybody about the new level of anxiety and self-doubt it unlocked inside me.
Memories like these leave me with questions I haven’t been able to answer to this very day. What’s it about my feminism that terrifies people? Why does it make people’s blood boil? Is it because I’m tired of seeing doors slammed in the faces of deserving women on the sole basis of gender? Is it because I believe women should not be denied their right to safe abortion? Or because I would never fit the “good African wife” narrative my mother has spent her entire life trying to fit?
Society claims to appreciate women, but in reality, they only appreciate women who deliberately dim their light just to allow men shine. As a woman, you’re expected to aspire to be a good wife and mother, to never prioritise anything over your matrimonial duties.
On some days, you’re allowed to have an opinion, but it’s usually better to keep those opinions to yourself. You can speak up about gender-based violence, but when you do, prepare for the “maybe you shouldn’t have gone to that place, or worn that dress, or said that to him” speech that would follow right after.
All my life, my mother shrunk herself just to stroke my father’s ego, and it’s never made much sense to me.
You’re expected to dress the way women are “supposed” to dress — everything knee-length or baggy, minimal accessories and NO cleavage — any other type of dressing would be seen as defiance. You should also smile even when you have no reason to. I’ve watched many women shrink themselves to fit that little, demeaning image society has created.
All my life, my mother shrunk herself just to stroke my father’s ego, and it’s never made much sense to me. Even though we all knew how hard she worked to raise our school fees, she would give the credit to my father because that’s what good wives do. Just like my siblings and I, my mother had a curfew because “good wives shouldn’t be outside past 8 p.m.” And if God forbid, she ever misses her curfew, he would punish her the way bad wives should be punished, by locking her outside her own home.
It’s very easy for people to ignorantly assume feminists are angry and unhappy women who hate men, and I’m tired of this misconception. You could spend your whole life educating people about the true meaning of feminism, and they would still choose to listen to those little patriarchal voices in their heads. I’m not naive enough to think the world would change overnight because of me, but I’m never going to stop clamouring for that change.
I was once the kind of feminist who only said the things men like to hear. Things like, “I’m a feminist but I still think a man should be the head of the family”. I was at a point where I relied heavily on people’s validation for every aspect of my life. Even my feminism was tainted by societal stereotypes because I didn’t want my views to offend anybody. I would tell myself I could be a feminist and still be a “Nigerian woman”, the one who would master the act of compromising to seem nicer to men. A small part of me didn’t want to contradict everything the Bible says a woman should be.
But last year, I got selected for a women’s rights fellowship where I met 19 like-minded women. For the first time in my life, I had the opportunity to be in a room full of feminists, and they helped me realise that if I couldn’t be an unapologetic feminist, there was no point in being a feminist at all. I’m used to being hated now. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t bother me anymore because the kind of people who hate me for my feminism is exactly the kind I don’t want to be associated with.
I have a clear vision of how I want my feminism to impact the world. It starts with calling bullshit on all the misogynist nonsense society likes to preach. And on days when I feel like giving up, I remind myself of the different ways society robbed my mother of her voice and happiness. Like many Nigerian women, she deserved better. She still does.
ALSO READ: 8 Nigerian Women Talk About Why They Became Feminists
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Ever wondered the songs your parents were listening to on the radio — yes, listening to radios was once fashionable — when you were in the womb? Well, Gen Zs, we’re here to help because these were the songs that were bangers in the year you were born.
You’re welcome.
Kukere — Iyanya (2012)
Iyanya had Nigerians in a chokehold the year this song came out. Once you heard, “All my ladies,” you knew it was time to break it down. Kukere was so inescapable, there’s a high chance even your grandma might remember it.
Chop My Money — P-Square (2011)
To think most of us sang Chop My Money even when our broke asses knew there was no money to be chopped. Anyway, if you were born in 2011, you have to work hard so you’ll live out your destiny as a sugar parent.
Oleku — Ice Prince (2010)
The combination of Ice Prince, Brymo and Jesse Jagz was all we needed to start a new decade. Good times for real. Gen Z’s might never know what life was like back when a dollar was just ₦150.
Yori Yori — Bracket (2009)
Everyone complains about Yoruba demons, but have you had an Igbo man try to toast you? Bracket’s Yori Yori is a classic example of an Igbo man’s sweet mouth. You’ll be listening to the song and smiling like a fool. May God save us.
Gongo Aso — 9ice (2008)
No one was doing it like 9ice in 2008. With one of the hottest albums and tracks of the year, this guy was so gassed, he even saw himself winning a Grammy. While that hasn’t happened, no one can contest that Gongo Aso was a major musical moment Nigerians will never forget.
Yahooze — Olu Maintain (2007)
You know your song is big when it inspires a dance craze that becomes so common, people use it for other songs. Yahoozee was THAT GIRL in 2007. We don’t support the message behind this song, but Yahooze walked so Cash App could run. Also, there’s a high chance this was Hushpuppi’s anthem back in the day.
Ijoya — Weird MC (2006)
Ijoya was EPIC, and that intro was such an earworm. But you see its music video? Our minds couldn’t contain it. If you were born in 2006, just know you have no choice but to be a creative genius. The bar was raised to the skies that year.
RECOMMENDED: If Gen Zs Don’t Say These 12 Things in a Day, They Might Actually Die
Mr. President — African China (2005)
African China released a whole song begging Nigerian leaders to fix up and do their job. I’m sure some Gen Z’s are thinking, “But we’re still asking for the same things boo.” Well, babes, this struggle? Omo no be today e start.
African Queen — 2face Idibia (2004)
Before Wizkid’s Essence or Burna Boy’s Ye became an international cultural movement,
father Abraham2face Idibia was laying the groundwork with this 2004 classic. African Queen shifted the culture and introduced a new wave of Afrobeats to the world. Respect that!Danfo Driver — Mad Melon and Mountain Black (2003)
We need to bring back the galala and swo dance moves. All this variation of leg work, are you people not tired? Throw on some Danfo Driver and show us what you’ve got. Dear Gen Zs, this song is an important piece of Afropop history; study it.
Mr. Lecturer — Eedris Abdulkareem (2002)
Twenty years later and the message behind Mr. Lecturer is still relevant today. But that’s the thing about Eedris Abdulkareem songs because the last time I checked, Nigeria is still jaga jaga and that’s the (cold) tea.
My Car — Tony Tetuila (2001)
Honestly, Mr. Tony, if more than one person bashes your car in the same day, then maybe you’re the problem. Just let that sink in. Gen Zs born in 2001 are obviously bad drivers — it’s not a coincidence.
Konko Below — Lagbaja (2000)
Before there was Meghan Thee Stallion, Cardi B or Nicki Minaj, there was Lagbaja. Thanks to this OG twerk anthem, Lagbaja had everyone with their hands on their knees popping their bootys. WAP and Anaconda are cute, but none of them come close to the power of Konko Below.
Diana — Daddy Showkey (1999)
A masterclass in storytelling, Daddy Showkey’s Diana is a classic we all love. This man gave us a whole episode of Super Story and This Life in less than five minutes. We just have to stan.
Skakomo — Remedies (1998)
Shakomo takes us back to the days when Nigerian artists used to copy and paste American beats without shame. To be fair, 2pac was busy fighting Notorious B.I.G so I doubt he noticed this hit.
Dem Go Dey Pose — Baba Fryo (1997)
Gen Zs have PrettyBoy DO and Cruel Santino, but right when their era was about to start in 1997, Baba Fryo was the man of the moment.
ALSO READ: We Found the Songs Nigerian Gen Zs Listen to After Heartbreak
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This quiz will help fish out the Gen Zs in our midst and remind us of simpler, better times.
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You know that thing they say about Gen Zs having zero chill for any work-related stress? We spoke to 7 people and they shared the very moment they looked at a potential job and decided, “nah fam.”
“I could tell from the million interview stages that this job would show me pepper”
- Ife*, 25
I’m not sure if almost every Nigerian recruiter attended a joint workshop to decide on the best way to torture applicants because so many of them play by the same book. I had applied for this interesting vacancy and was quite hopeful. Only to complete a pre-screening assessment, personality test and case study before even getting shortlisted. It was when I was asked to complete a mini work project that I gave myself brain and japa-ed. All that to possibly not even get an interview call-back.
“They wanted me to come for a physical interview”
- Rade*, 24
First off, I’d done a preliminary interview with this company already, and they knew I was based in Ibadan. After the first interview, they invited me for a second at their head office in Lagos. Keep in mind that this was supposed to be a fully remote role. Imagine jumping bus to another state when there’s no assurance I’d get the role. I told them if there was no way I could attend the interview remotely, I’d pass. They didn’t reach back.
“They wanted to pay me ₦100k to bring in ₦10 million every month”
- Temi*, 24
This happened recently. I went through the different interview phases of this big real estate firm on the island and was offered a job. Omo, see conditions. 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. every workday (plus Saturdays) and I would need to secure sales of at least 10 million naira every month. If I don’t meet the target, my monthly net salary would be cut from ₦100k to ₦20k. I dusted my slippers and told them thank you.
RELATED: Seven Nigerians Talk About Resigning From a Job They Hated
“The work culture was giving boomer”
- Ope*, 26
To be fair, I applied without conducting any research. Imagine the shock when I logged on to the Zoom interview to find five uncles on the call. I lost interest at that point, and I’m sure my answers weren’t matching the questions. I didn’t see myself working at that kind of organisation.
“It was honestly just the money”
- Kira*, 22
The intended salary wasn’t stated in the job vacancy, and I didn’t ask during the interview so as not to appear unserious. After all was said and done, I got the offer and it was ₦80k. I live in Agbara. The office is at Festac. Adding transport costs and the stress, it just wasn’t worth it.
“I was sent to buy amala”
- Ebuka*, 19
I still laugh when I remember this. When the ASUU strike got extended, my sister suggested I consider an internship with a family friend (he owns a private firm). I got there and had to wait in the reception area. Two minutes later, the secretary (who knew why I was there) waved a food flask in my face and asked me to go buy her amala. When I left that day, I told my sister I wasn’t going back.
“The application required a cover letter”
- Praise*, 25
I think cover letters are a complete waste of time, and I often lose interest in job applications when I discover that they are required. It hasn’t stopped me from landing jobs so nobody should stress me, please.
*All names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
ALSO READ: Five Nigerian Graduates Share Their First Jobhunting Experience
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We’ve called out every type of girl that comes out to play when money hits their account, but what do the cool Gen Z women absolutely say no to spending their money on? Let’s find out.
Men
Whenever you feel your mumu button coming on, call a Gen Z babe. These girls aren’t out there trying to be sugar mummies to any man, please. They’re the sugar babies that only expect princess treatment. We don’t have money, please.
Wigs
It’s giving itchy and hella stressful in this heat. A true Gen Z babe is committed to gold or purple hair dyes and low cuts. Anything other than that should be braided. Where are you people seeing money to spend on wigs abeg?
RELATED: If Gen Zs Don’t Say These 12 Things in a Day, They Might Actually Die
Physical books
Millennials always brag about the beauty of a hardback novel, but who wants to spend ₦5k or ₦10k on paperbacks when we can read Wattpad and Medium?
Flowers
These women aren’t falling for the standards of love set by Hollywood and Nollywood in the 1980s, please. It’s cute to buy them, but to buy things that will end up withered is not on the priority list for Gen Z queens. What will we use the flower to do? Send the money instead, thanks.
RELATED: These 7 Nigerian Movies Will Raise Your Standards for Love
Designer clothes
SHEIN is the pasta version of fashion for the Gen Zs. So if you’re out here flaunting the thousands of dollars you spent on Gucci, good luck to you because the highest they’ll do is borrow it from you.
Enjoyment
Gen Zs are like the last borns of the house. When you’re young and free, the millennials and baby boomers should be able to cover the bills because they’re the elders. Anything that involves a good time should be sponsored. We just want to have fun.
Anything and everything
The truth is, Gen Zs are generally liars and will do anything for aesthetics on their timelines. So, from overpriced pasta to the latest corset craze, they’re all over it and ready to spend their life savings in a heartbeat to maintain their drip. SMH.
ALSO READ: 15 Nigerian Gen Z’ers Tell Us What They Really Think About Nigerian Millennials
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Millennials like me know that no one is doing heartbreak like Nigerian artists back in the day. Remember when P-Square had a meltdown after catching their babe with their best friend in Omoge Mi? Or the time Darey’s dramatic ass was playing a massive piano in Not the Girl, all because his girl had removed her wig and changed face? Those were the good times. But with everyone doing sungbalaja these days, I became curious to know if Gen Zs get heartbroken and, most importantly, the songs they listen to when it happens.
Tapped into my inner Gen Z to write this, and I hope I made my faves proud.
Zikoko is launching a new series where we explore those friendships, familial and romantic relationships that are no longer sailing.
1. Higher — Tems
I don’t even have to listen to the lyrics to know that Higher is about a severe heartbreak. Tems has a great voice, and you can hear the pain with every note she hits in this song. Even though she keeps saying she’ll wait for the person, she finally realises they aren’t worth it, and honestly, she’s probably right. Go bestie!
2. Beggie Beggie — Ayra Starr and Ckay
“See the way I dey beg you, shey bambi allah mo je ni”. For a generation that likes to avoid bad energy and vibes, Beggie Beggie sounds like stress and suffering. I guess this is the song you play when you’re still trying to make it work. Love yourself, boo, and break free from this toxic shit.
3. Understand — Omah Lay
When the love was sweet for Omah Lay, he sang about how his babe’s beauty was bursting his eyeglass. But now, home boy is entering the rain because he gave her his umbrella, and let’s not forget the part where she cheated on him with the friend he introduced her to. For a Taurus, Omah Lay’s reaction is not giving what it’s supposed to give.
4. Me You I — The Cavemen
Me You I is giving old Nollywood village film vibes, and I can’t help but stan. I can already imagine Pete Edochie as the king and Patience Ozorkwor as the wicked stepmother. Stop crying, my love. The juju will wear off one day, and your village prince will come back into your arms.
5. EGO — Sarz and Wurld
Honestly, I’m not surprised EGO came up in my discussions with Gen Z people. These days, everyone is trying to outdo the next person, even in relationships. So it makes sense that a song about not calling your lover because you want to form “hard guy” is an anthem for this generation. Quick question: why is everything a competition though?
6. Cold Outside — Timaya and BNXN
Who would’ve thought a Timaya song would make it on a Gen Z’s breakup playlist. Maybe it’s because we have baby giant BNXN singing about how he’s levelled up and doesn’t need his ex anymore. These are the things we actually love to see. While we’re on Timaya’s case, can someone please introduce Gen Zs to the classic that is Dem Mama? It’s not every time heartbreak up and down.
RECOMMENDED: 15 Nigerian Gen Z’ers Tell Us What They Really Think About Nigerian Millennials
7. Searching — Lady Donli
Lady Donli is a Gen Z icon and that’s on Mo Abudu’s Brazilian bone straight. After telling everyone to get some cash, avoid suffering and enjoy their lives, Lady Donli sings about finding herself outside of a broken relationship. This is for when you want to start posting quotes on socials to remind them you’ve healed.
8. Away — Ayra Starr
This babe has a song called Cast (Gen Z Anthem) and you thought she’d only appear on this list once? Before starting a global movement with Bloody Samaritan, Ayra popped up on our radar with this badass song about unstaning your lover because their star sign doesn’t align with yours. It’s probably not what she said, but my version has more drama, so go with it.
9. LEAVE ME ALONE — Amaarae
Amarachi’s biggest song might be that “I really like to party, I really like spaghetti” song, but LEAVE ME ALONE is the breakup anthem I didn’t know I needed. Shoutout to my Gen Z faves for hooking me up. I’m literally obsessed!
10. Tinko Tinko (Don’t Play Me for a Fool) — Obongjayar
Not gonna lie, I felt it when Obongjayar sang, “Don’t be fucking with my head.” Like, I literally felt it in my spirit. It’s almost like I finally realised why Mercury has been drinking Lucozade since January.
Did it work? Did I sound like a Gen Z? Yassss!
11. Bibanke — Asa
I stan a cross-generational hit! Even though she’s now making happy music about love, friendship and breaking peoples’ backs, Asa will always be our guitar-wielding heartbreak queen.
12. Sip (Alcohol) — Joeboy
Personally, I’ve realised that there’s no breakup too strong for tequila and vodka (not together o, unless you’re a cultist). I guess Gen Zs and I have this in common, and that’s why this song is on their lists.
ALSO READ: 8 Things Gen-Z Nigerians Should Be Able to Accomplish in a Day
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After you read this article, go and have a random conversation with a Gen Z person. Preferably if they’re a Twitter user. What you’ll see is that they’ll use at least seven of the words in this article. Do we know why? No.
But will it happen? Yes.1. “Like” (At least 100 times)
It’s like, Gen Zs just like, really like using the word “like”. Like, how can you like, talk about all your daily problems and like, challenges and stuff, without like saying, “like”. Get to the fucking point!
2. “Literally”
Gen Zs and being literal about everything is like Lai Mohammed and lying. You know it’s going to happen but you can’t do anything to stop it. You’ll be texting them ,and next thing you see,, “I’m like literally dying of laughter.” You know the crazy part? The whole time, their face is like this:
3. “I’m dead” or “dyingggg” or “dead!”
Speaking of dying, why are Gen Z’s always dying? Why? Do they know which angel is passing when they’re saying these things? What if it’s the angel of death? May we not attract curses and untimely deaths to ourselves o. Hmm.
4. “Toxic”
Everything bad, annoying, irritating, dangerous, wicked, abusive, etc, can be blended into one word for Gen Z’s — toxic. Do they overuse the word? Yes. Do they misuse the word? Yes. Should they expand their vocabulary? Please, yes!
Did you hear it from me? Nope.
ALSO READ: 8 Things Gen-Z Nigerians Should Be Able to Accomplish in a Day
5. “Stan”
Eminem would be proud that the main character in his song about a toxic, abusive and murderous fanatic — who killed his pregnant girlfriend while throwing a tantrum about Eminem not responding to his letters — has become a Gen Z phenomenon for liking someone/something.
6. Bestie
When Gen Z’s started saying this, I didn’t think it would catch on, but now everyone is calling literally everyone“bestie”.
Me: But we just met today.
Gen Z person: Oh bestie, please!
7. “It’s giving…”
What is giving? Where did this come from? Who started it? I have so many questions.
8. “And that’s on *insert literally anything*”
Gen Z’s will make a point, and to hammer their point home, they’ll say something random like, “And that’s on Shola Shobowale’s left knee. Purrrrr!” And then all the other Gen Z’s will start jumping and celebrating. Why?
9. “Ate”
No this is not the type of ate you think. “Ate” here is a compliment you give someone when they do something really good. It’s mostly used to compliment someone’s looks/dressing but you can use it in any situation. If you don’t have anything to say to a Gen Z, just walk up to them and say, “Bestie you ate,” and watch them have the best day of their life. What did you eat?
10. “Snapped”
Snapped is similar to “ate”. If someone snaps, it means they were excellent and the thing they set out to do.
11. “Purrrr”
I can’t lie, I don’t know what this means. But they say it a whole damn lot.
12. “Not gonna lie”
If it’s not that guilty conscience is chasing all of them, why are they all prefacing their sentences with a disclaimer. Hmm. May God save this generation.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: QUIZ: Only Nigerian Gen Z’ers Can Make It to the End of This Musicians Quiz
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With the end of January comes the dreaded “Where is your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner” storm for the next two weeks. Why is love so stressful now? The tension from sliding into DMs, the unending possibilities of chopping breakfast. It made me start thinking: the days of “Ama keep keep” shirts, peace signs and Supras ruled. And so I want to take us back for a moment — maybe the young ones will learn a thing or two from this.
1. 2go
Tinder and Bumble are still learning work. Back in the day, 2go was all you needed on your Nokia C3 to connect with the love of your life. Babes only needed to have sexy or queen in their usernames: “Sexychocolatemama33” or “Dynamicqueen231” and your request section would be filled up.
2. Lyric books
Naeto C probably bagged his premium pie, Nicole, with the lines from this book. Are you a millennial if you didn’t send one of those emotionally powerful notes to your crush as a good morning text? Lyric books literally gave 101 ways to keep your ship moving back then. Someone needs to run an upgrade because the good morning texts these days are week AF.
3. Summer lesson
Look, I’m not saying we didn’t go there to read, but what is life without a bit of balance? The summer lesson gist when school resumed was always fire.
4. JAMB Lesson
All I can say is, sometimes, it wasn’t JAMB that jammed us, it was the lover we were chasing that didn’t allow us to see road to read. Everyone wanted to be that couple that found themselves and strolled to buy food in between classes. I hope they finally passed JAMB and married sha.
5. Secondary school
Remember how boys used to jump the fence to give babes gala and yogurt during prep? Simpler times. Then there was that wicked senior that would flog you then leave a note professing foolish love, but of course, they didn’t born you well to tell anybody. Rumour has it that this is how BDSM was invented.
6. Visiting day in school
This one is for the boarding school students. Visiting day meant eating food other than the trash in school, but it was also a national day for finding love. It definitely wasn’t because of cornflakes or milo you said yes to that student in your dorm.
7. Sunday School
Any church that had a basement was a zone for lovers forteenagers. All the bible they used to teach was entering one ear and coming out another hole.
8. BBM
It always started with “how did you get my pin.” Next thing, you’re pinging all night and then planning to meet at Mr. Biggs for meat pie. Like they say, the rest is history.
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In May 2021, just as the world was getting out of the funk caused by months of lockdown and inactivity, Seyi Akomolafe found herself in an interesting position. After sitting at home for months and applying for fashion internship roles around Lagos, the 18-year-old finally got an offer, the problem was, she needed to work for free. “Job hunting in Nigeria is an extreme sport and I was excited to finally get one,” she tells Zikoko. “Did my heart sink when I saw it was an unpaid internship role? Yes. But it was from a designer I admired, so I took it.”
Following two “grueling” months at her job, Seyi eventually quit. Why did she leave such an incredible work opportunity? “Well, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was a slave. I thought passion was enough, but I was tapping into my savings and getting very little [knowledge] in return.”
Unpaid internships in the creative sector are as common as the shade and drama the sector constantly feeds the internet. We’ve all seen it in play out before, either in real life or in the movies; A young, passionate intern runs errands and performs tasks for their boss in exchange for lucrative knowledge and exposure in a glamorous field, such as filmmaking, fashion, public relations, or the magazine industry. Through all of this, the intern is not given actual financial remuneration, just experience, a couple of celebrity sightings (if they’re lucky), and vibes. The employer, on the other hand, gets the benefit of services while minimizing costs.
According to the World Bank, Nigeria’s population stands at over 200million with its youth claiming over 40% of this figure. The recent success of Nigeria’s creative scene ranging from music to film production and fashion have led to a proliferation of job seekers looking to break into the sector. As of today, the entertainment sector is the second highest employer of labour in Nigeria after agriculture. In this day and age of social media, everyone knows someone who’s either already a creative or working towards becoming one. The numbers are insane.
As interest continues to grow, structured job and internship opportunities are struggling to meet up. But why do we even need internships in the first place? Why not start something small on your own and work your way up? While internships are an imperative part of the industry, there are thousands of Nigerians creating art on their own without training from experienced people in the industry. However, according to Hassan, a Lagos-based editor who preferred to remain anonymous, “It’s easier said than done.”
Hassan’s entry into Nollywood wasn’t easy. He remembers having to juggle two lives at the beginning, one as an unpaid editing assistant and the other as a digital marketer. After years of working his way up, Hassan has become one of the most in-demand editors in Lagos, a feat he attributes to his early unpaid days. “Just like most things in Nigeria, Nollywood is about connection,” he explains. “I knew how to edit from watching tutorials online, but I needed a way to get myself through the door and being an ‘assistant’ provided that opportunity. What’s the point of having a skill if you can’t use it? I had to find a way to hack it because my passion came first.”
Although most of these internships are unpaid, they still demand just as much as full-time paying jobs. Due to the time-consuming tasks, most interns find it hard to take up other paying side-gigs that could actually fund their lives. Young Nigerians these days have to weigh their options carefully, choosing between their dreams and a job that foots the bill. More often than not, they are forced to walk away, just like Seyi. Because of this, internship opportunities tend to be limited to those who come from privileged backgrounds and are willing to work for free.
Pat Ada Eze is a popular image consultant and stylist to stars like Ayra Starr, Ladipoe, and Johnny Drille. Starting as an intern herself, Pat tells Zikoko, “I think unpaid internships are the worst. I have never done it and I don’t think anyone should do it.” With a successful business of her own, she reveals that she pays all her interns no matter how small the budget is. When the budget is too limited to pay, she does all the work herself. On how unpaid internships affect the industry, she explains that while she’s never really thought about it, she can imagine it “blocking the dreams of people who come from less-privileged backgrounds.”
Times are changing in countries like America. Over the past few years, unpaid interns from different projects have held the country’s creative scene under siege. Lawsuits demanding minimum wage and overtime have been filed against Fox Searchlight, Bad Boy Entertainment, publications like Vogue, the New Yorker, and Vanity Fair. But with Nigeria lacking structure legally and creatively, is this even a possibility? “We haven’t gotten justice for cases of misappropriated funds, election fraud, or even sexual assault,” Seyi explains. “There’s no way it’ll work for interns? We are all hustling and we’ll continue to hustle.”
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Gen Z’s, this is your time to shine. Take the quiz and prove yourself:
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Having a Gen Z coworker can be very fun when they like you. When they don’t, it’s more hostile than living with Nigerian parents. Here are 9 signs that your Gen Z coworker likes you… as friends.
1. They send you memes or TikToks
If your Gen Z coworker sends you memes or funny TikTok videos, you’ve made it. You’re alright, not necessarily cool, but alright.
2. They have called you bestie once
This is one of the highest levels of respect a Gen Z coworker can give you. Don’t try saying it back though, you might sound sus.
3. They are comfortable making millennial jokes with you
The thing with millennials is, they can have a mean temper. If your Gen Z coworker is comfortable making millennial jokes with you, it’s because they are sure you know it’s good-natured fun.
4. They let you follow them on social media
Gen Z’s are very pro setting boundaries, especially in the workspace. If they let you follow them on social media, they like you, they’d also be impressed that you could find them easily.
5. They might make you a playlist
If they make you a playlist or recommend songs to you, they either think your taste in music slaps, or they want to make your taste in music better. Either way, it means they like you.
6. They give you advice based on your zodiac sign
Gen Z only gives a shit about the zodiac signs of people they care about. If they give you zodiac compatibility advice or send you weekly zodiac sign predictions, you’ve made it.
7. They let you use Gen Z slang without mocking you
One thing Gen Z won’t do is be a gatekeeper, especially not for slang. You’re just less likely to get mocked for using the slang wrong if they like you.
8. They check in on you
This is the final boss that shows that your Gen Z coworker likes you. They care about mental health, a lot. If they regularly check on your mental health, they care about you and want you to be fine.
9. They let you give them advice
Gen Z’s are very sure of what they want, believe in and want to do. If you find yourself being asked for advice by your Gen Z coworker, it means they rate you, congratulations.
If you liked this, you’d like: 15 Nigerian Gen Z’ers Tell Us What They Really Think About Nigerian Millennials
[donation]
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If you’re 25 or older, this quiz will stress you small.
Another banger
He’s in Sans Francisco jamming
Eye patch guy
She’s 19 and dangerous
The Engine
Na she dey reign
Think of something used for colouring
He’s apparently Godly
Another boy
She’s actually Ghanaian
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The subject of today’s What-She-Said is a 22-year-old woman who was ambitious out of spite for her primary school classmates. She talks about her brother wanting to kill her when they were both children, being bullied in primary school and finally finding community with herself this year.
What’s your earliest memory of your childhood?
It has to be of my brother hitting me on the head with a hammer. I had to get stitches, and I still have the scar.
According to my mum, he’s hated me since the day they brought my twin sister and I back from the hospital. That day, he put us in a mortar and wanted to pound us.
WHAT…
In his defence, he was just four and an only child. I love my siblings, and I think I most especially like that, unlike friends, your siblings are obligated to love you. Friends require a constant level of performance while siblings have seen you at your absolute worst and best, so you don’t feel the need to hide anything. You can experience your full range of emotions.
That doesn’t mean we don’t fight. We fought a lot in the house, and it was over stupid things like the TV remote.
Was there any part of your childhood not filled with physical violence?
LMAO. I want to say primary school, but that’s because the violence was emotional.
My parents sent us to a primary school filled with rich people though we were lower middle class. Now, I can say I’m grateful for the experience because I learnt to love reading and conceptualise things, but the experience was awful.
We didn’t have a lot of the things the other children had or drivers to pick us up from school. My brother handled this better because boys didn’t care about those things, but it was hard for my sister and I.
When I was leaving the school, I promised myself I was going to be very successful. That was the only way I could punish them for what they did.
That’s very Nollywood of you.
Yes actually, but I wanted them to look back and feel bad for the way they treated me, and it’s quite ridiculous when I think about it now. I was fuelled by spite.
How did you plan on making them regret it?
Well, I knew I wasn’t really book smart. I had my moments, but you couldn’t really call me intelligent. Education-wise, all my siblings are smarter than me. Learning was never easy for me, so my ambition never extended to school.
My secondary school experience was vastly different. I went to a military secondary school. The funny thing was that they thought my siblings and I were snobs because of the kind of primary school we came from.
In my secondary school, they did this thing where they called out the top five in every class and gave them prizes, then called out the bottom five and caned them. That year, I read so much that I was fourth. After they gave me my prize, the headmistress called out my twin sister and bullied her because I was in the top five and she wasn’t. I was so sad and decided I didn’t want that on my conscience. I stopped trying. This led to me getting C’s and D’s, but I’m grateful I realised my status as an average student early.
Since school wasn’t it for you, what did you do?
When I finished WAEC, my result was seized. They never gave any serious reason why and my parents had to get a lawyer. When they eventually got the result, math was missing. That meant I had to do A-level exams in an Education advancement centre in Ibadan, where we lived. My twin sister luckily did not have the problem I did, so she got into Unilag. When she got to Lagos, she joined a book club.
I decided that she could not have all the fun. I wanted my own book club as well. So I reached out to some of my friends, and we decided to start our own book club. Most of our meetings were online, but eventually, we had to have some physical meetings. Hosting came with paying for snacks, venues, and other things. I never asked anyone for contributions because felt it would be a burden.
I had some money saved from a really well paying gig I got. Plus, my parents gave me money. Honestly, I am shocked I was able to pay for it all. The book club was important to me,. We had a branch in Sierra Leone and another in Ghana. It will always have a very special place in my heart.
Wow. That’s a big deal. Why did you stop?
Well, I had a lot of things going on. Unfortunately, I do the thing where I take on too many projects at once, to the point where I end up overexerting myself. I was volunteering in at least four organisations while still doing school work and also the book club.
I just didn’t know how to not keep busy. Whenever people mention projects around me, I jump on and help make plans for them. It is just how I am. Most of the projects I joined was as a result of a feminist group chat I was in. People kept creating things and asking for help, and I just volunteered.
What did you define as success?
A year ago, success to me was getting into fellowships and impacting people’s lives. It was a very self-serving thing for me. I wanted to rack up awards and be validated by people. I wanted people to think I was smart and brilliant and so many other things. Unfortunately, I didn’t get all the things I wanted.
I feel like everything has led me to this moment. If I had gotten the fellowship and everything else I wanted, I wouldn’t be this clearheaded. I am still going to apply for grants and fellowships, but now I have a clearer picture of what I want. It is not out of spite or about being successful. It will be more about doing things that make me happy.
I have decided to never take on more than three projects at once. When you do many things at once, it’s very easy for you to live on autopilot. You don’t really think about what you do, you just do. I want to be able to savour the moment.
Now that your idea of success has changed, what next?
Ambition meant I never had enough time to just sit with myself and figure out where I am and where I am going. That’s what I dedicated this year to do. To just find community with myself.
I am moving into my own apartment this week, and after I get the article I am working on published, I won’t write for a long time. I want to spend my 20s reading books and focusing on finishing school.
For more stories like this, check out our #WhatSheSaid and for more women like content, please click here
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Identify the musicians based on the title of their songs to prove you’re gen z.
If you fail a question, the entire quiz ends.
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Who sang these songs?
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Forget about your age. If you can make it to the end of this quiz, you’re definitely Gen Z.
If you fail a question, the entire quiz ends.
N.B: This quiz was inspired by this Twitter thread.
Go on:
Who is this?
QUIZ: Only Nigerian Millennials Can Identify 7/13 One-Hit Wonders
Millennials, come forward. Take this quiz.
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There are fewer career paths in Nigeria with a more rapid promise of upward mobility like computer engineering in Nigeria. This student is the umpteenth example. Enjoy.
Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.
What’s your oldest memory of money?
I got to school that day – I was in primary 3 or 4. A few students were standing at the gate as usual. Then I got stopped by the headmaster – or secretary, can’t remember. I initially thought something was happening in the school, only to see my dad at the gate ready to take me home.
He later explained to me that I can’t go to that school because of money.
Woah.
Apparently he used to handle some services for the school, as barter for my school fees. Then some dispute happened and somehow, that meant my fees were outstanding. That was the first time I cried over something not related to physical pain.
Man, I’m sorry you had to go through that.
Thanks. I had to move to another school. The first thing I ever did for money though, was helping my aunty set up her Facebook account.
This racket! How much did she pay, what year was this and how old were you?
This was 2010 I think, I was 11. She gave me about ₦1k that time at cyber cafe money. After that, it was just me helping people with things like that. I remember setting up something for my teacher on his phone. The one that I’m most proud of was setting up Qbasic on the computers in my secondary school, by that time I was a bit exposed to coding. I was given about ₦6k.
Omo the fried plantain woman didn’t rest that week.
Ah, coding. Tell me about where it started for you.
I was in SS1 and I saw a game on a Nokia and asked my teacher how they were made.
“Google ‘programming’.” That’s what he said.
A few months later I was able to save up for my first smartphone, a Tecno N3. I downloaded an app called AIDE – it’s for creating android apps. By then I had already researched on programming so I just needed to do some practicals on the phone here and there. And that’s how I got into it.
I kept practising and practising until one of my dad’s friends from church offered to take me as an intern as soon as I was done with O-levels, which happened to be mid-second term SS3.
What did you do at the internship?
Since the company was a digital marketing agency, I mostly created websites for different clients. I had an opportunity to create an Android app at one point, which I did. Then the occasional “go and buy food for Oga”. I was getting ₦10k/month then ₦15k about two months later, which was the most I’d gotten from any job, so Igara started.
Till my dad came and “collected it on my behalf”. He said something along the lines of “he’ll help me keep it so I can spend wisely”. Plot twist, he hasn’t returned it.
Hahaha.
Yep. Anyway, in 2015 I started freelancing on the side on Upwork, but I didn’t get my first job till a few months later.
Wait, what about school?
I couldn’t gain admission to Uni due to age, so I got into a polytechnic, but I never resumed. I just continued interning and freelancing till 2018 when I got into Uni. To be honest, I actually gained admission before then, but I didn’t resume.
Fair enough, when did the next income growth happen?
Around 2016 when the freelancing thing really took off, I had enough projects to show on my Upwork portfolio to land me a paid gig of $20/hour. I worked a total of about 10 hours on that gig so I made $200 which was almost ₦40k at the time. I think the exchange rate was ₦190/$.
Do you remember your first Upwork gig?
$5 to change footer text on a WordPress site. I took it happily. Apparently, she knew nothing about WordPress except how to add posts.
What’s the biggest gig you’ve ever taken on from Upwork?
A $50/hour job at about 20 hours per month. I did that for three months before I finally stuck with a particular client that paid that amount for over a year. These numbers are based on the good months though. This was in 2017, it was also when I left my internship.
So you interned for three years?
It was more of a limbo situation. I wasn’t sure if I was an intern or not due to the relationship I had with the CEO. So yeah I was an intern, but mostly doing the work of a fulltime employee sha.
At one point that wasn’t my main source of income anymore, I was just doing it to avoid staying at home and to keep my pops silent.
But you finally entered Uni in 2018.
Yup, but that’s when things got really confusing. 100-level was more of me focusing on studies to build a “solid GPA base” but that was the cost of my freelance contract. I didn’t have enough time to dedicate to it. Just before I entered Uni, my income ranged from ₦150k-₦300k.
I also realised that I wasn’t improving skill-wise. So late 2018 I left the freelance gig to look for a full-time on-site job for the coming break. I found one late 2018 at a company in Nigeria and was being paid ₦150k per month.
Fascinating.
Now, I was worried about school fees and survival – at this point, I stopped depending on my parents for anything. Then there was lau-lau. Plus I had to help the family with a few things a few times. That was another reason why I decided to pick a more stable job.
Entering university as a teenager with about three years of experience, what does that do to a person?
Ah, that. My priorities tend to be a lot different. I tend not to attend class, because I have a good amount of practical knowledge of some of the topics.
About class, how are you navigating school with your coursemates?
At this point, It’s looking like I’ve dropped out already. I barely ever enter class because my current job requires a lot of my attention. I have a few close friends that know about what goes on with me.
Other people just think I have money or I’m some kind of Yahoo Boy. Almost everyone in my class swears by it. Heck, a few lecturers think so too.
How does this feel?
I honestly just laugh. I know money stops nonsense, most of them can’t say it to my face. Plus the lecturers that accuse me always ask me to get them something.
Okay, back to work.
I realised I was too comfortable at my role and didn’t really skill up or have much to show for it, CV wise. Anyway, in mid-2019, I left the role – I was already on 200k at this time – and moved to a more challenging role, which is still my current role.
How much does this pay?
Roughly a million.
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE –
What happened?
Nothing, bro. Nothing happened.
Hahaha. I’m just lucky I got exposed to working early enough. I’m paid in dollars actually – it’s for an Asian company – but when it’s converted it’s around that range.
How does one get that type of gig?
I was job searching for a while but couldn’t manage to land any interviews, not to talk of offers. I lost count of the job offers after the 27th “Thank you for applying but….” email. That two-month dry spell took me back to church.
So I decided to take a step back and rework my portfolio and CV to highlight how skilled I think I am. I started creating content around my work and skills, from text to video. My CV was public, everything was out in the open.
A few companies reached out. I actively declined all the Nigerian offers because I wasn’t in the mood for Nigerian companies.So petty.
I reapplied to a few remote companies and boom, the interview invites started rolling in. One of them even reached out to me directly on LinkedIn. A few weeks later I was offered the role.
Lit!
Honestly, it took about a month or two to actually get comfortable because the type of tasks was a lot more challenging than I was used to, but thankfully my colleagues were able to support me in getting the ropes.
To be honest, I’m still not satisfied, my goal is at least 4 million a month by the end of next year, how I’ll do that? I dunno, but I’ll be working on it.
I’m curious about how someone like you thinks about money.
I see it as essential. I don’t buy into the “money can’t buy happiness thing” because after coming from a not-so-affluent background, I can say It does, if you know how to spend it.
How will you say it’s shaped how you interact with your family?
I tend to avoid my extended family – too many people wanting something. As for my immediate family, the only thing that’s changed is the relationship with my dad. He seems to actually want to listen to me now.
When did you realise the dynamic shift between you and your dad? Was there a specific incident?
We used to argue a lot until we almost got into a physical altercation. Shortly after, I decided to move out completely. It was after that incident that I noticed the shift.
When did you first move out?
I used to have a friend’s place that I stayed over a lot during the first year of school. I didn’t get my own place till recently.
What type of place did you get, and how much did it cost?
I got a furnished mini-flat for about a million and a half. Perfect for my bachelor phase. It cost about another ₦750k to get something I like. Bachelor essentials, like a console and all of that.
So basically, you got your place of choice at a total of ₦2.25mil?
Yup, pretty much.
Talking about today. You earn about a million a month. How about we attempt to break down where every dime of it goes?
I pay for a couple of bills back at my folks’, like NEPA bills, decoder bills, and sometimes, my siblings’ school fees. Then my lau-lau is for faaji and bae sturvs.
Ah, bae. Tell me about that.
Haha. She explicitly doesn’t like it when I waste money or when I try to “spoil her”, I usually have to beg her to let me get her something.
Aww. Do you have a more granular idea of how you spend though?
Not really. I just check in on my accounts here and there to ensure I haven’t gone past budget.
I’m not a big shopper so money doesn’t go there. But I like to go out and faaji though, whenever I can.
Tell me about your wildest faaji.
Bought a VIP ticket for a concert of over 150k, ended up spending another 100k on drinks and food at different bars after the concert the same night. All in all, I woke up with a headache and debit alert that can give a grown man a heart attack.
No comments. Are Investments your thing?
I’ve got some cash in the usual money market fund and some in investment apps. I’m currently looking for a passive form of income or business to set up. I’m not a fan of letting money sit idle for too long unless it’s a huge sum.
Let’s travel a little, how much do you imagine you’ll be earning in 5 years?
I’m still trying to decide on if I want to stay in this country, but In five years, If I haven’t, I have to be earning at least 5 million a month and a good network of passive income.
You’ll be about 25. What do you intend to be doing earning that amount?
Yup, I’m fairly sure I can’t get that kind of money in Nigeria unless I’m in some extremely high position. So I intend to keep working for foreign companies and slowly going up the engineering management ladder. I don’t want to end up working for too long really, so I’ll like to amass as much as I can and retire to passive income/investments.
Talking about retirement, when do you want to retire, and do you have a game plan to retirement?
Nah I haven’t thought too much on that yet so I’m not sure on those. I do know that I do not want to end up like my folks who were not lucky enough to have a solid retirement plan.
So, are you going the pensions route or the Investments route, or both?
Probably both, I’ve seen cases where pension and inability to access it ends up messing with old people, so it’s safe to have both. But the ability to set up both really depends on my financial strength while I’m still in the working class which is why I need to level up.
What’s something you want right now but can’t afford?
Hm, I actually don’t know, I’m pretty comfortable. A Bentley would be nice though.
What’s the last thing you paid for that required serious planning?
Probably my place. I had to make sure I paid for it without spending all the money I had.
What’s something you paid for recently that significantly improved the quality of your life?
Rechargeable fan. That thing is God’s blessing in electronic form. Put it on and sleep, then let NEPA do anyhow they want.
Hahaha. When was the last time you felt really broke?
When I left my full-time job of ₦150k due to school and the pursuit of a more challenging role. Finding my current job took a lot of planning and smiling honestly, but for most of that time, I was broke.
Do you have a backup plan for if shit goes completely south?
Pretty much-stashing money away for a rainy day. Plus I’m always finding ways to make my CV appealing. If all goes south with engineering, I’ve always wanted to be a male stripper on the side hahaha. Plus my stash is robust enough to hold for a few months while I sort myself.
North of 1 million, two million, three million?
Slightly below ₦2 million sha. Still need to push it up though.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your financial happiness, and why?
I’d say about a 7, cause I know I’m doing pretty well relatively, but I’m still not where I want to be in terms of my savings ability.
Most importantly, my ability to see something extremely expensive and go “fuck it, add it to my bill”.
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