Frustrating | Zikoko!

12 Frustrating Things Nigerian Parents Do To Their Kids

1. They pay for your education, then they get mad when you have educated views.

This one is your fault sha.

2. They warn you to never date, then they start asking for spouse immediately you graduate.

Are they selling partners in the market?

3. They treat you like crap as a child, then they start forming BFFs when you’re an adult.

It’s too late, please.

4. They ask you a question, then they call you disrespectful for answering.

What do you want from me?

5. They never say sorry for being wrong, but they expect you to forgive them.

It’s not by giving me food.

6. They never speak to you about sex, then they refuse to shut up about grandkids.

How do you think the grandkids will appear?

7. They ask you to lead closing prayers, then they pray right after you.

So God didn’t hear my own?

8. They believe every WhatsApp BC they get, then they vex when you don’t believe them too.

Don’t force me to believe nonsense.

9. They can’t let you simply gist with them without turning it into a lecture.

This is why we don’t talk.

10. They do something to upset you, then they vex because you’re upset.

How are you the one that’s now upset?

11. They refuse to let you sleep because they are now awake.

Is it my fault that you woke up by 5 am?

12. They ask you to tell the truth, then they punish you when you do.

Na me fuck up.

NerdEfiko

January 8, 2020

Oldies

annoying, Frustrating, Nigerian parents
10 Frustrating Things That Happen To Muslims During Ramadan

1. When someone stains your white and expects you to not talk because you are fasting.

“Aunty, you dey fast na’.
2. Getting your period 10 minutes before Maghrib.

The fast won’t count because Aunty Flo decided to spoil show.
3. When your colleagues ask you why you can’t drink water.

“But water is not food now”
4. When you attend an Owambe and have to turn down party Jollof.

You have to pretend it is not chooking you.
5. When your colleagues start eating their lunch in your presence.

“I’m not crying, rice enter my eye”.
6. Waking up late and missing Sahur.

Because bad things happen to good people and now you have to fast on an empty stomach.
7. THIS!!!

Someone will definitely catch these hands.
8. Hearing the Imam recite ‘Alif Lam Mim’ during’ Taraweeh.

It is going to be a long night.
9. When you eat one spoon of rice at Iftar and get full immediately.

So the hunger pangs were for nothing?
10. Knowing you can’t blame any of your bad deeds during Ramadan.

Satan is chilling in hell so you are just a terrible person deep down uno.
More Zikoko!
https://zikoko.com/list/15-things-nigerian-muslims-definitely-tired-hearing/

Maryam

June 6, 2017

Oldies

fasting, Frustrating, Frustration, muslim, Ramadan, stress
19 Of The Most Frustrating Things About Being A Nigerian Right Now

1. You know that you will not meet light at home after a long day at work.

It’s such a bloody stretch.
2. And it’s so hot that you’re convinced that someone left the gates of hell open.

Like we are not suffering enough already.
3. When you’re a woman in Nigeria, everyone assumes that they can tell you what to do.

You cannot even drive in peace without a ring on your finger.
4. And blame you for being raped or kidnapped. It was how you were dressed and where you were walking.

Victim blaming is the new norm.
5. Nigeria imports everything but our exchange rate is nonsense and our salaries are even worse, so we can’t can’t buy anything anyway.

Please, help us.
6. The exchange rate is bloody, but your President’s response is “Well…”

“Those who can still afford it can afford it.”
7. Why should the President care? He hasn’t even spent a full three months in the country.

Bye!
8. Nigerians collectively can not come early. We even have a name for it – Nigerian time.

Fix your lives!
9. If you live in Lagos, half of your entire life is spent in traffic.

You’ve become one with the distance.
10. All customer service agents think they’re above doing their jobs – especially the ones in banks.

As if it’s not my money.
11. Nigerian politicians don’t even respect us enough anymore to tell intelligent lies.

They won’t even invent believable excuses.
12. People are stealing money yet everybody else is broke.. someone had $1 million in his soak-away!

In his soak-away!!!
13. The landlords want you to pay 2 years rent upfront. Like if you had that money you wouldn’t have built your own house.

Mscheww!
14. When you put something on your social media account and the entire Nigeria descends on you.

It does take a village. *rolls eyes*
15. NNPC only gets fuel to keep the country ‘wet’ for 2 weeks out of every month.

What in the entire hell?!
16. When you get credit alert and it is quickly followed by Stamp Duty charge or the ‘100 naira monthly fee + VAT’ charge from the bank.

It’s the stupidest policy in the world.
17. As an unemployed person, your biggest problem is work experience. Where will you get it from without a job?

But no one wants to listen.
18. Those waiters that will wait till you finish your food to let you know that POS is not working.

HAY GOD!
19. What are students supposed to eat now in school…other than indomie, now that Lassa fever won’t let you drink garri?

I don’t know too.

Odunayo

March 8, 2016

Oldies

Frustrating, Nigeria, Nigerian

12 Frustrating Things Nigerian Parents Do To Their Kids

1. They pay for your education, then they get mad when you have educated views.

2. They warn you to never date, then they start asking for spouse immediately you graduate.

3. They treat you like crap as a child, then they start forming BFFs when you’re an adult.

4. They ask you a question, then they call you disrespectful for answering.

5. They never say sorry for being wrong, but they expect you to forgive them.

6. They never speak to you about sex, then they refuse to shut up about grandkids.

7. They ask you to lead closing prayers, then they pray right after you.

8. They believe every WhatsApp BC they get, then they vex when you don’t believe them too.

9. They can’t let you simply gist with them without turning it into a lecture.

10. They do something to upset you, then they vex because you’re upset.

11. They refuse to let you sleep because they are now awake.

12. They ask you to tell the truth, then they punish you when you do.

10 Frustrating Things That Happen To Muslims During Ramadan

1. When someone stains your white and expects you to not talk because you are fasting.

2. Getting your period 10 minutes before Maghrib.

3. When your colleagues ask you why you can’t drink water.

4. When you attend an Owambe and have to turn down party Jollof.

5. When your colleagues start eating their lunch in your presence.

6. Waking up late and missing Sahur.

7. THIS!!!

8. Hearing the Imam recite ‘Alif Lam Mim’ during’ Taraweeh.

9. When you eat one spoon of rice at Iftar and get full immediately.

10. Knowing you can’t blame any of your bad deeds during Ramadan.

More Zikoko!

19 Of The Most Frustrating Things About Being A Nigerian Right Now

1. You know that you will not meet light at home after a long day at work.

2. And it’s so hot that you’re convinced that someone left the gates of hell open.

3. When you’re a woman in Nigeria, everyone assumes that they can tell you what to do.

4. And blame you for being raped or kidnapped. It was how you were dressed and where you were walking.

5. Nigeria imports everything but our exchange rate is nonsense and our salaries are even worse, so we can’t can’t buy anything anyway.

6. The exchange rate is bloody, but your President’s response is “Well…”

7. Why should the President care? He hasn’t even spent a full three months in the country.

8. Nigerians collectively can not come early. We even have a name for it – Nigerian time.

9. If you live in Lagos, half of your entire life is spent in traffic.

10. All customer service agents think they’re above doing their jobs – especially the ones in banks.

11. Nigerian politicians don’t even respect us enough anymore to tell intelligent lies.

12. People are stealing money yet everybody else is broke.. someone had $1 million in his soak-away!

13. The landlords want you to pay 2 years rent upfront. Like if you had that money you wouldn’t have built your own house.

14. When you put something on your social media account and the entire Nigeria descends on you.

15. NNPC only gets fuel to keep the country ‘wet’ for 2 weeks out of every month.

16. When you get credit alert and it is quickly followed by Stamp Duty charge or the ‘100 naira monthly fee + VAT’ charge from the bank.

17. As an unemployed person, your biggest problem is work experience. Where will you get it from without a job?

18. Those waiters that will wait till you finish your food to let you know that POS is not working.

19. What are students supposed to eat now in school…other than indomie, now that Lassa fever won’t let you drink garri?