Go on, take the quiz.
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You’ve got the perfect plantain (not unripe or overripe). It’s sizzling nicely in hot oil. But you looked away for a second to scroll through Twitter, and golden brown has turned to devil’s charcoal.
With friends and family patiently waiting in your living room to feast, what do you do?
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Photo: Instagram (@playfoodbyyinka) Protect the crime scene
You’ve messed up the easiest meal to make, and trust me, witnesses will use it against you. Lock that kitchen door until you somehow redeem the dodo.
Change the name to “charred plantain”
As the Sodiq Ologbon that you are, erase “burnt” from your vocabulary. Tell everybody that what you have on the menu is “charred plantain”.
Flip the switch
Chances are since you fried the plantain, you’re most likely going to serve it. Deception is key here. Plate your dodo so that only the good sides face up. If there are no good sides, refer to the next point.
Tell them you’re making gizdodo
Photo: Instagram (@playfoobyyinka) Throw in some gizzard, pepper, maggi and salt, and all will be well again. Tell the people eating to expect a hint of bittersweet notes.
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Become Dr Meredith Grey for dodo
No, I mean it. Grab a fresh pack of razor blades, cut out the burnt parts, and fry the plantain again.
Stall until everyone is famished
People rarely pay attention to the taste of food when hunger strikes. Hold on to that burnt dodo until it’s the only thing they want.
If all this fails, just RUN.
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Plantain is a very versatile dish. It can be fried, boiled, roasted, and made into small balls of enjoyment for the small chops package. But of all these variants, what’s the best way to eat plantain? We will tell you.
7. Boiled plantain.
Plantain is tasty, but this is the least appealing way to eat it. I know some people put it in pepper soup and all, but even then, it doesn’t bang as such. Sorry to people who enjoy it this way. Fix up.
6. Plantain Mosa
Honestly, we should be grateful for small chops that made this variant of plantain to shine. We honestly didn’t know her from anywhere. It’s good enough, but not that spectacular. It could go out of existence and I’ll be fine. I know there are others who feel this way too.
5. Plantain chips
Yes. Plantain chips slap really hard. Has to be one of the best inventions from plantain, if we are being honest. But it’s still a five for me. It’s good, but could be wayyy better. Also, soft and chewy plantain chips is greater than ikpekere. Let’s not argue that fact please.
4. Plantain frittata
Putting this here feels like a cheat because frittata has a lot going for it if we’re being honest. But then again, the additional stuff is why it is top tier and belongs in number 4. It’s filling and that’s enough compensation. But it’s really just technical to make.
3. Dodo Ikire
This is a bad b*tch that doesn’t get all the credit it deserves. Dodo Ikire is so unique and far off from all the other variants of plantain on this list. From the look alone, you know you’re in for a treat. And the taste? Unforgettable. Completely unforgettable.
2. Fried plantain
You know the vibes. This is a good spot and please let’s not even try to move this good sis to number 1. Her spot as second is a good one. Also hate to say it, but I think fried plantain can easily tire you if you decide to eat it as a standalone and not with other dishes like beans, rice, spaghetti, etc.
1. Bole and fish
My Port Harcourt people own this crown. I tasted bole and fish once and I knew where my loyalties lie. This combo has everything that beats the other plantain dishes hands down. Roasted bole, stew, fish, a sprinkle of leaves. You sef judge am na. Judge it and tell me why bole and fish shouldn’t own the top spot.
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