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Is Your Partner a Die-Hard Football Fan? Gift Them These 8 Things
Another die-hard football partner
If you’re sure you don’t want the stress of them having to choose between you and football all the time, get them another partner who’s a die-hard football fan so they can stop stressing you out, and everybody wins. But if you can’t deal with your boo having another boo, keep on reading.
Original football jersey
Original football jerseys are so hard to find, so getting them one would really blow their mind and make them see that you’ll do anything for them to be happy.
A plot of land
Since they love football so much, buy them a plot of land to use a football field, so they can start their own local football club. Who knows, maybe they’ll build the next Man Utd
Ticket to watch a live game
If all the support they’ve shown for their favourite team has only been over the TV, why not buy them actual tickets to a live game so they can watch their faves in action?
A shoutout from their favourite footballer
If Odumodu could do it with Declan Rice, you can do it too. All you have to do is get into a studio somewhere and record a song titled Lionel Messi, then sit back and watch everything unfold.
PS5
Yes, you’ve heard it too many times on the internet but we’ll say it again. Buy your partner a PS5 and the latest FIFA edition along with it. If they don’t shed tears of affection for you, come and fight us.
A trip to watch the premier league
Watching a live game is cute, but have you tried flying your partner all the way out to watch the entire premier league? Just try it and see how they break down in appreciation. It’s the little things that matter.
DStv subscription
Or better yet, you can pay for their DStv subscription so that when the Premier League comes back, they’ll be ready to watch it. And it won’t even cost you much because when you pay for a particular package, DStv upgrades you to the next highest package, as part of their DStv Step Up offer. Don’t say we didn’t do anything for you.
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10 Types of People on Football Twitter
On Twitter, you’ll find the good, bad and ugly, and it’s no different with football stan Twitter. World Cup 2022 is on, so here are ten types of people you may come across there.
The coaches
Just because one day, every week, they spend a few hours playing ball, they think they qualify as experts. They’ll cuss out the players, criticise the referee’s decisions and point out things that should’ve been done differently.
The history books
No one knows how old they are because they know everything that’s happened in football since the 80s. And how do we know this? They’re constantly comparing the details of every match with something that happened in the past.
The per-minute commentators
They come alive when a live match is on. Their TL goes from five tweets in a week to 52 in one game because they’re bantering and doing all the things they’d normally do at a live viewing centre, but on Twitter.
The “GOAT” idolisers
Football stans are just as toxic as other stans. They’ll throw all logic out the window when their GOAT is involved.
The Martin Luther Kings
They turn to Josephs before every match. Talking about “I had a dream”. Sometimes, they’re lucky, and their predictions come accurate; other times, it goes to complete shit. So if you know what’s good for you, don’t place any bets based on their dreams.
The “pick me” fans
They blow hot and cold at the same time. They’re very fickle-minded, so their opinions are easily swayed. One minute, they’re saying the team didn’t do badly. The next, they’re joining the majority to say the team isn’t shit.
The fighters
If there’s anything we know about Twitter, it’s people love vawulence. These ones will drag you through the streets of Twitter for having any take they disagree with. Their attack is stronger than the team they support.
The suffering and smiling fans
When their team loses, they renounce them and try to conceal their pain through bants and jokes, laying curses on the player who made their betting slip cut.
The gatekeepers
Because they started watching football when Thierry Henry was playing at Arsenal, they try to pull rank. They remind you of those mean SS 2 students who form seniority over those in SS 1.
The pseudo-fans
They don’t really watch football, so they consume as much information from different online sources as possible before they tweet and join in the arguments. They’re most likely trying to impress someone or suffering from FOMO. You’ll know them when you try to engage further by discussing the details of the match.
QUIZ: Can We Guess the Team You’re Supporting at the World Cup?
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QUIZ: If You Get 10/23 On This Quiz, You’re The Ultimate Football Fan
Do you spend all your weekends watching football and shouting at the TV, or do you not care about stuff like that?
We’ll find out when you’re done with this quiz:
Questions
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Check all that apply to you:
