We’re throwing the hottest meat festival on this side of the globe, so get your Burning Ram tickets and come flex your rizz for us all to see.
-
Considering the amount of time you spend at work compared to anywhere else, your boss might as well be your soul mate, and your co-workers could very well be your partners in one big happy polyamory.
So, no, the fact that these phrases work both during sex and in a corporate setting isn’t weird at all.
“We need to really drill down to get this to work”
Sometimes, good results require intense “drilling”, and for everyone to be willing to put their backs into the task, literally and figuratively.
“Let’s take this offline”
Because some things need privacy, whether it’s calling out a teammate or taking the business off the spicy texts.
“I want to take a deep dive into this”
For when you really want understand a task… or find someone’s g-spot.
“Let’s circle back”
Sometimes, you want to return to a conversation later or get into a particular position that’s one number before 70.
“You always come on time”
There’s only one situation where this is a compliment, honestly.
“Hit me with your best shot”
Sometimes, you need to remind people to give their all. Let’s not waste each other’s time, please.
“You’re so flexible”
Everyone loves the person who can bend over backwards to make sure the work is done.
“Let’s stop to talk about this pain point”
This one is important because why go through something that’s affecting the “business” negatively?
“Teamwork leaves everyone satisfied”
Both in the board room and the other room.
“I’d like to bounce these off you”
For when you want to bounce ideas around. Also works with certain body parts.
“I need you to be more hands-on”
It’s all hands on deck, dear. Again, both literally and figuratively.
“There are so many balls in the air right now”
Corporate people say this when too many things are happening at the same time. But too much of everything is bad, even if it does involve literal balls in the air.
“Let’s leave this on the back burner”
This works in two ways. Either you don’t want to follow through with a suggestion, or you’re feeling a little adventurous.
“You’ll need to increase my salary if you want me to do this”
Like a wise person once said, “Money for hand, back for ground.”
“You’re so experienced”
The only kind of feedback both an employee and sneaky link want to hear.
[ad][/ad]
NEXT READ: Things You Can Say During Family Dinner And During Sex
-
You can still find love before Valentine’s day. Take this quiz, and we’ll give you a pick-up line to land your dream partner.
-
Every generation deserves love, and Gen-Zs are no exception. They may go about it in ways other generations can’t understand, but it works for them. This is how to know for sure that a Gen-Z Nigerian is flirting with you.
Emojis
Since most of the flirting is done over social media, they use a lot of emojis. If it’s not 🥺, it’s 🙈 or 🫣.
Social media marriage
They do a lot of things backwards, so before they send you a DM, they’re letting everyone know y’all are married. One day, they’ll just start calling you my wife/ husband. It is what it is.
Playlists
Once they know they like you, they’ve already made you a playlist. It doesn’t matter what streaming platform you use, they’ll get it done. Also, expect it to ruin your algorithm.
RELATED: QUIZ: What Type of Flirt Are You?
TikTok
Are they really flirting with you if they don’t send you at least 15 TikToks a day? Once they ask if you have a TikTok account, forget about it.
Calls
They always start by saying they don’t talk much, but they’ll use calls to finish your battery. If they’re not buying airtime, they’re using FaceTime or WhatsApp. Your phone will be hot enough to cook beans, and they’ll still be going.
Violent attraction
Nothing says flirting like Gen-Zs alluding to you killing them. They let you know you’re hot, but not without stating how many ways they want you to use your hotness to end their life.
Biting
When dogs like you, they lick your face. When Gen-Z Nigerians like you, they bite you. Don’t be scared. They’re just trying to absorb your flavour.
RELATED: Dear Nigerian Women, Let’s Talk About Your Flirting Skills
-
Before Nigeria even existed, a prophecy foretold that the women of this nation wouldn’t know how to flirt. Unfortunately, it came to pass, and Nigerian women started doing some ridiculous things they call flirting. We need to have a discussion so Nigerian women can answer for their crimes.
Staring is not it
If you like, stare at them for three business days, it won’t make them know you like them. If anything, you come off as a weird person, and they’d want nothing to do with you. Try striking up a conversation. You won’t die. Don’t be looking at them like you’re trying to see into their future.
No, they can’t read your mind
You can’t expect them to know you find them attractive. Humans aren’t born with the ability to read minds. If you can’t open your mouth and them they look beautiful, rest.
Calling them “big head” isn’t enough
When flirting with someone, calling them names is juvenile. You’re not a child, you’re an adult who can articulate your feelings. Yet, you’ll be wondering why they friendzone you. Babe, you’re coming with the energy of a friend, why won’t they treat you as such?
RELATED: The Passive-Aggressive Ways Nigerian Women Show They’re Annoyed
“Sir” doesn’t work either
For the women who flirt with men by calling them “sir”, why? How deep are your daddy issues? You don’t even call the person who pays your salary “sir”, so why this?
“Let your girlfriend not come and beat me o”
Aunty, ask if they have a girlfriend first. If you’re scared of someone coming to you as a woman, declare your interest and wait for what they have to say.
RELATED: Nigerian Women Should Stop Apologising for These 9 Ridiculous Things
Constantly saying “fine boy like you”
If he’s a fine boy, he’s a fine boy. Stop trying to sneak in compliments. “Fine boy like you, how can you say…” Even secondary school children are more direct than this. Pay the compliment if you want to.
Liking multiple pictures
Everyone likes pictures. Just because you’re liking multiple pictures doesn’t mean anything. Try sending them a DM instead. That’s how things work.
RELATED: How to Identify a Woman That’s Just Come Out of a Relationship
-
We know you’re tired of endless Zoom meetings and work calls that could easily have been emails. So I’m, the next time someone says any of these things on a Zoom call you’re on, you can have a little chuckle knowing that they’re also probably saying this in the bedroom.
1. “I think someone else is trying to join.”
2. “Sorry, my service is bad.”
3. “Same time next week?”
4. “Oh, we’re done? That was fast.”
5. “Is it better now?”
6. “Can we record so we can watch this later?”
QUIZ: How Dirty Is Your Mind?
7. “This can only last 30 minutes unless it’s paid for.”
8. “We need to round up now.”
9. “Sounds good. Let’s do it.”
10. “Let’s skip the formalities and get down to the basics.”
11. “This could have been an email.”
QUIZ: Only The Horniest Nigerians Can Complete 9/13 Of This Lyrics Quiz
-
Flirting is not easy, and it seems to be especially hard in Nigeria — where “have you eaten?” and “big head” is usually as good as it gets. So, we’ve created a quiz that tests just how good your flirting game is (on a scale of terrible to legendary).
Take it to find out:
Can You Guess 8/11 Nigerian Meals From These Brain Teasers?
Are you clever enough? Take this quiz.
