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Financial Independence | Zikoko!
  • I’ll Never Date Someone Who Earns Less Than Me Again

    I’ll Never Date Someone Who Earns Less Than Me Again

    Nenye* (26) talks about her three-year relationship with her ex, the several money-related issues they had, and why that experience has turned her off dating men with less money than her. 

    As told to Boluwatife

    Image designed by Freepik

    I’m used to men ghosting me. They toast me, we enter into the talking stage, and they disappear after a few days. I’d be lying if I claimed not to know it’s because of my insistence on evaluating their financial situation.

    I always ask questions like, “How much do you earn?” “Would you classify yourself as middle class?” or “What are your thoughts on sharing finances in the home?” My friends think those questions are too much for the talking stage, but I’m trying to avoid getting bitten twice.

    I was young and foolish when I dated Ola*. It started in 2020, but I still think about what he put me through and wonder why I let it go on for three years.

    We met in one of those online speed dating sessions that were common during the pandemic — Popular Instagram pages held live broadcasts and invited followers to come and toast themselves on live.

    I worked with an NGO, and when we went remote, I was bored — so I DM’ed Ola after meeting him in one of the online sessions. We hit it off quickly and started chatting regularly. He was a graphics designer, but I wasn’t really concerned about his job or salary. Two weeks after we started talking, we became official.

    I still wasn’t concerned when he didn’t get me a birthday gift two months into our relationship. I was one of those “Love doesn’t cost a thing” girls. He designed a birthday flyer for me, and that counted at the time.

    After the lockdown was lifted, I developed a habit of going to his self-contained apartment after work and only returning home to sleep. I lived with a roommate, and he lived alone. After some time, I started sleeping over and going to work from his place.

    On one such visit, he saw my salary come in as a credit alert and said, “You’re a rich babe o. You’re earning double my salary”. My salary was ₦100k. That was the first time we talked about salaries. Before then, I’d noticed he always told me to buy food for us on my way from work, but never gave me money for it. We also hardly went out. I didn’t ask why because I didn’t want it to be awkward, but finding out about his salary clarified things. 

    As a good girlfriend, it was only right for me to support him since I made more money.

    I’d branch at the market on my way from work to buy foodstuff, get to his place and cook up a storm. I even regularly paid for his data subscription because he needed it for work. I even paid for a couple of his design courses. 

    In 2021, he decided he wanted to learn software engineering and told me he was saving up to pay for a ₦70k course. 

    Now, I understand how he extorted money from me. He’d tell me about something he wanted then complain about it until I felt bad enough to help him. I had no responsibilities. I’m the last born, and my parents still paid for the apartment I shared with my roommate at the time. So, it was easy for me to foolishly bring out money for what he needed.

    I paid the ₦70k for that course.

    Then he started policing how I spent money. If he noticed me wearing a new pair of shoes, he’d remark about how I needed to be disciplined with my spending. One time, I responded, “But I’m working. I should be able to buy what I like,” and he twisted it to seem like I didn’t want to take his corrections because I earned more than him.

    Money became a sensitive issue between us. If I complained about how we hardly went on dates, he’d say I wasn’t satisfied with what he could afford. When I talked about wanting him to reciprocate with random gifts like I did, he said I was rubbing my money in his face.

    By 2023, my salary had increased to ₦200k, and he’d become a freelancer, AKA no salary. The next thing he did was imply that I put him on a monthly allowance. According to him, waiting till he complained about needing help made him feel like a beggar, and no “man” wanted to feel like that.

    We broke up in 2023 because he didn’t “see a future with us”, and I was heartbroken for weeks. But after a year, I can’t explain why I put up with him for so long. Maybe I was dickmatised or just foolishly in love.

    Maybe it’s linked to my frontal lobe finally developing at 25, but I can never be in that position again. Since the breakup, I’ve read and heard different stories of women who earn more than their partners, and it rarely ends well. 

    Let people call me a gold digger; I don’t care. All I know is I don’t want to be with someone who makes less than me. It’s not like rich men are perfect, but at least, I wouldn’t have to massage someone’s fragile ego because they think the money in my account isn’t allowing me to be submissive. 

    I’ve tried broke love, and I’m not doing it again.


    *Names have been changed for anonymity.


    NEXT READ: “He Cut Her Braids Short in Public” — 7 Women on Why They’d Rather Make Their Own Money

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  • MoneyByZikoko: How do you get out of tricky financial situations?

    MoneyByZikoko: How do you get out of tricky financial situations?
    For this fashion designer, it’s the people that come through for her.

    Vol 18 | 20-02-2023

    Good morning, 🌞

    Can you guess how much cash I’m currently holding? ₦100.

    I’m not going to lie; the note is a prized possession at this point. I randomly catch myself reaching for my wallet to confirm it’s still in there. I’d never thought this day would come, but here we are.

    It’d be hilarious if it wasn’t a chaotic situation.

    Speaking of chaotic situations, the fashion designer in today’s #NairaLife is no stranger to those. In the past 10 years, she’s had to deal with a few financial struggles. Some were out of her control, and others were a consequence of her decisions. But somehow, she always finds a way out of them.

    On #LoveCurrency, the theme is “love will always come through”. To mark this year’s Valentine’s Day, six people share details of their relationships and how much it costs them to celebrate special occasions with their partners.

    In this letter:

    • #NairaLife: How Does This Fashion Designer End Up in Tough Financial Situations?
    • HustlePrint: From Studying Agricultural Engineering to Working at Spotify
    • #LoveCurrency: Valentine’s Day Spending Across 6 Different Relationships
    • Money Meanings: “Collateral”
    • Game: #HowMuchLast
    • Where The Money At?!

    #NairaLife: How Does This Fashion Designer End Up in Tough Financial Situations?

    This 25-year-old fashion designer has had a fair share of tricky financial circumstances. But the consistent pattern in her story is how she always finds random people to get her out of them.

    This is what her #NairaLife looks like

    Some other great money articles you should read:

    From Studying Agricultural Engineering to Working at Spotify

    In 2016, Zainab Ayodimeji began her transition into tech after realising that her agricultural engineering background may not give her the career and income growth she wanted. Now, she’s helping Spotify teams make important decisions for users. In this story, she shares how the journey was a mix of vibes, strategy, and pure luck.

    Read her story here

    Valentine’s Day Spending Across 6 Different Relationships

    In case you missed it: last week Tuesday was Valentine’s Day. And while we were in the spirit, we explored how lovers across different relationships came through for one another and the cost of doing this. From a student’s first Valentine with his girlfriend to the long-distance married couple and the writer receiving gifts from three different partners, this special edition of #LoveCurrency is one hell of a sappy read.

    Read the stories here

    Money Meanings

    Game: #HowMuchLast

    #HowMuchLast is a game where we show you an item and you tell us (and the world) the highest amount you’d pay for it.

    Some weeks will be Okin biscuit, some others will be SUVs.

    This week, let’s test how much you’re willing to pay for what everyone swears is fast internet. So, #HowMuchLast for a Starlink device?

    What’s the most you’d pay? Tweet at us here.

    Where The Money At?!

    We can’t say we’re about the money and not actually help you find the money.

    So we’ve compiled a list of job opportunities for you. Make sure you share this with anyone who might need it because in this community, we look out for each other.

    Again, don’t mention. We gatchu.

    Share this newsletter

    All good things must come to an end. But not this good thing. We’ll be back next week.

    In the
    meantime, keep reading Zikoko’s articles and be sure to share the love.

    Till next week…

    Yours cashly,

    Toheeb,

    Zikoko’s ‘OG’ Mr. Money

    Did someone awesome send this to you?

    Subscribe to this Newsletter

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    Nigeria

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  • #NairaLife: She’s 25 and Survives by People Coming Through for Her

    #NairaLife: She’s 25 and Survives by People Coming Through for Her

    Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.

    This 25-year-old fashion designer has had a fair share of tricky circumstances. But the consistent pattern in her story is how she always finds random people to get her out of them. 

    This is what her #NairaLife looks like.

    What’s your earliest memory of money?

    I lived with my aunt and her husband from when I was three to ten years old. I didn’t think about money during those years, but on some level, I thought we had it. My aunt’s husband regularly changed cars, but I later realised it was because he was a driver for transport companies and private individuals. I went to a private school, but I was sent out of school a couple of times because I owed school fees.

    The reality was we lived in a face-me-I-face-you apartment and shared our bathroom and kitchen with a few people in the compound. But credit to my aunt and her husband because they protected me from having to worry about money. I wasn’t aware of it until I was in secondary school — which was a catholic-run school.

    What changed?

    I had a second cousin in SS 3, who took me under her care. She handled my pocket money (₦‎1k) and provisions. During my first mid-term break, she returned what remained of my pocket money to me, and it was ₦‎950. She’d been taking care of me with her own money. 

    I had to start taking care of myself after she graduated the next year. This was when I really became aware of money and economic classes. 

    How?

    I struggled during the first term of JSS 2. I finished my ₦1k pocket money within the first week. I’m not sure how I survived until the mid-term break. When school resumed for the second term, I latched myself to a teacher, which was easy to do because I was intelligent. This teacher became my guardian and kept my pocket money for me until I needed it.

    By the time I got to senior secondary school, I stopped needing a guardian. I moved on to the next best way to maximise my resources. 

    What was that?

    My best friend and I started living on the food supplies we brought. It was a smart way to stretch our supplies, but it showed me the financial gap between my friend and me. She always had more money and contributed more food supplies. I also started noticing how other students lived. Most of them brought a lot more provisions from home than I did and were driven to school in their parent’s cars. I couldn’t compete.

    Fast forward to 2013, I graduated from secondary school and got into university. My first year was another reminder of how little we had. 

    Tell me more

    My parents struggled to pay my acceptance fee, which was ₦75k. When they finally sorted this and my school fees, there was nothing left to pay for my rent. The plan was to rent a room with someone and split the cost. So I was supposed to pay ₦55k out of ₦110k, but we couldn’t raise the money. Thankfully, my roommate allowed me to move in until I could raise my quota of the rent. 

    My allowance wasn’t set in stone. I got what I got whenever it came. I trekked a lot in my first year. I was dating my course rep, so he covered for me a lot of times, especially when I couldn’t buy textbooks and materials. Sometimes, he bought me lunch or gave me transport money. He was a huge help.

    In my second year, I couldn’t cope with how broke I was, so I got a job at a restaurant. 

    How much did it pay?

    ₦15k, but I only got the full amount once. In my second month, the restaurant changed the pay structure and reduced the base pay to ₦5k. The rest was commission-based. I was there for three months and struggled to combine it with school. Luckily, someone gave me a lifeline.

    What do you mean?

    One of the customers took an interest in me. During one of his visits to the restaurant, he asked why I was working there, and I told him it was to support myself through school. He was empathetic and offered me a flexible job: I’d clean and take care of his house whenever he was out of town and do grocery runs when he was around. I accepted the offer without agreeing on an official salary, but I got ₦20k – 30k from him per month. Also, if any school expense came up, he took care of it. This man paid my final year school fees and bought me a laptop for my final year project. According to him, he was taking a chance on me, and the only way I could repay him was to ensure I didn’t fail out of school. 

    That must’ve been a relief 

    It was. He also bought me my first sewing machine when I decided to take up tailoring. My mum and aunt sewed, and I learnt the craft from them but never took it seriously. In my final year, I registered for a six-month course. By the end, I was almost done with uni and had only my project to sort out, so I launched my fashion design business. I made about ₦100k – 120k after the first two to three months. 

    What year was this?

    2018. After graduation, I was posted to the north-central for NYSC. I had a cousin there; the plan was to live with them for the year. I thought it’d allow me to save as much money as I could, and I’d get a job that’d pay me at least ₦100k per month. None of that happened.

    What happened?

    My service year was my first full taste of adulting. On the day I left the orientation camp, my cousin stopped picking up my calls and didn’t show up. I followed a friend from the camp whose boyfriend came to pick her up, but I wasn’t comfortable staying over with them, so I found a hotel. I had about ₦50k in my account and paid ₦15k for a night. My cousin called later that night, but I was too mad to pick up. I took their earlier ghosting as a sign to sort things out myself. They never called me back.

    Then my Place of Primary Assignment (PPA) rejected me, claiming they didn’t need a corps member. I had no job or place to live. 

    What did you do?

    I don’t even remember how many offices I went to the following morning, but they all rejected me. And I was burning money to get to these places. 

    My frustration grew, and I couldn’t hide it because one staff member called me back and asked what was wrong. I burst into tears as I narrated everything that had happened in the last 24 hours to her. 

    I didn’t expect what came after — she asked me to fetch my stuff from the hotel and offered to let me stay with her until I figured things out. 

    Did she say why she wanted to help?

    She said she didn’t want her two young daughters to be in the same situation. 

    I had somewhere to stay. But I still needed a job. It took two weeks to find an admin role at an outdoor advertising agency. My salary was ₦20k, and the government paid ₦19,800, bringing my monthly income to ₦39,800. 

    In the first few months, the lady didn’t ask me for anything. However, I tried to pull my weight around the house and bought groceries when I could. 

    How long did you stay with her?

    Three months. I left in June 2018 because I wasn’t comfortable living with her anymore. I was in a relationship, so I moved in with my partner and started looking for my own place even though I had less than ₦150k in savings. 

    But how did you even raise that?

    ₦39800 for three consecutive months, and my PPA had a culture of giving out money. It could be anything from ₦10k to ₦20k in a week. During this time, my combined income was higher than my expenses. 

    Gotcha

    Eventually, I found an apartment for ₦150k/year. It completely wiped out my savings, and I couldn’t even move in because I couldn’t afford to furnish it. 

    I continued staying with my partner and living on whatever money gift I got from work, while slowly setting the place up. My partner bought a new mattress at some point, so I took the old one. I think this was when it occurred to him that I didn’t have anything in the apartment, so he bought the basic things I needed. 

    The timing was perfect because the relationship ended the following month.

    What went wrong?

    I found out that he had a fiancee. He said he’d broken it off, but I didn’t wait to find out for sure. 

    How did living alone impact your finances?

    My biggest expense was transportation. My apartment was on the outskirts, so it cost ₦1,400 to get to work and back every day. I was spending close to ₦30k/month on transportation alone when my income was ₦39,800. 

    How did you make that work?

    I picked up sewing clothes for people again. Another friend I made from camp had a bit of clout and directed people my way. Slowly, I started growing a client base, making an extra ₦30k per month. 

    By the time I settled my basic expenses and miscellaneous bills, I had nothing left. I decided to get a grip and join a savings programme at my place of work. Each person saves ₦20k/month and takes everything at the end of the year. I couldn’t afford it alone, so me and a co-worker agreed to both drop ₦10k/month. 

    For the savings arrangement to work, though, I had to be retained at the end of my service year. 

    Were you retained?

    Yes, but the promotion to full-staff barely reflected in my salary. They bumped it up to ₦45k gross, ₦39k net. After saving ₦10k, I had only ₦29k to live on. By the end of 2019, I’d saved ₦120k. I received about ₦90k in bonus and ₦50k in money gifts from work.

    2020?

    Nothing major happened until the lockdown, which helped me cut down on daily expenses like transportation. I only had to sort out my rent. A friend had started living with me, and we’d moved to a bigger apartment, which cost ₦500k. When it was time to renew in June 2020, it took some doing to find the money. I figured it out, but it wiped my savings once again. 

    I decided to quit my job in March 2021. 

    Why?

    I was done with how little the job paid. Plus, there was no room for growth. I didn’t even have a safety net. I was just exhausted. I wanted to face my fashion design business full-time. But I needed capital to do that. And everyone I told I was quitting my job to start a business had something to chip in. I raised about ₦1m from money gifts.

    Omo 

    Between renting out a space and miscellaneous expenses, I was out of money again. I didn’t have a solid client base by this time because I hadn’t been consistent with the business. It took about three months before it picked up. 

    What changed?

    I started attending trade fairs. I either sold the ready-to-wear clothes I made or offered custom services to people who didn’t find what they liked or their size. I’d collect their numbers and call them later to pick up the conversation. Slowly, my clients increased. 

    I wasn’t making enough profit to live on, so what made all the difference was the money gifts I got from friends who’d left the country and my bosses at my former workplace. 

    Then something else had to set me back. 

    What was that?

    I entered a new relationship in 2020 and fell pregnant in July 2021. I was barely surviving on my own, so I went to a fertility clinic and got some abortion pills for about ₦50k. After two weeks, I still had pregnancy symptoms. When I returned to the clinic, they suggested another procedure, and I went through with it. But in August, I still felt bloated. One day, on my way to the shop, I started feeling sharp stomach pains. I had a feeling something was wrong and went back to the clinic. After a scan, the doctor referred me to another hospital. 

    Did they say why?

    They didn’t understand what they saw, so they sent me to another lab to get a clearer image. I paid ₦24k for a transvaginal scan, and all hell broke loose. The radiologist said they couldn’t get a good view of my reproductive system because there was a lot of fluid in the area due to a rupture between my fallopian tube and ovaries. They concluded that I was carrying an ectopic pregnancy

    When I returned to the fertility clinic, they said they couldn’t handle the surgery it required and referred me to a government hospital. After waiting at the hospital for hours, I found out the doctors were on strike and didn’t have enough doctors around to carry out the procedure. This was a huge blow because doing it at the government hospital wouldn’t have cost more than ​​₦200k. 

    What did you do?

    It was now a medical emergency, so I was referred to a private hospital. They wouldn’t let me see a doctor until I registered with the hospital and got a card, which cost ₦40k. And there was no guarantee that they’d take my case even then. I also found out that the surgery would cost about ₦1m.

    How much did you have?

    I had ₦200k left. The doctor referred me to another clinic where the surgery cost ₦450k. And my boyfriend sent me ₦150k. 

     ₦100k to go. 

    I’m not sure why, but every time I put myself in silly situations, someone randomly comes through. 

    How did it manifest this time?

    Out of the blue, my former boss called to check up on me later that night. When I told him I was in the hospital and being prepped for surgery, he promised to do something. The following morning, he sent me ₦250k. 

    Phew

    The recovery was hellish. I couldn’t work for three weeks, so my income dried out, and I was back to living on money gifts. My friend and I were struggling to pay our rent. In October 2021, we were served a quit notice. My friend was leaving the country in January 2022. Because of this, I started thinking about japa too.

    In January 2022, I started applying to schools abroad while living with a friend. In February, I found another apartment for ₦400k. I had about ₦100k and borrowed ₦300k from my friends to move.

    One month later, I was offered admission to a school in the UK. The tuition was £14,800, and they requested 50% upfront.

    What did you do?

    I called my parents and asked them to find the money for me. The plan was for them to borrow it, and I’d pay back when I got to the UK. I went ahead to borrow ₦9.5m for the proof of funds, so I could go ahead with the other processes. But I had to pay 4% of the money for every month it took me to return it. I locked it in my account for two months while the school and visa people confirmed. In the end, I paid the lender ₦760k extra.

    You want to know how I found the money, don’t you?

    I do 

    My former roommate who left in January borrowed me ₦500k from the money she planned to use to balance her tuition, which was due in August 2022. I raised the rest from my business proceeds. 

    Did your parents find the money for your own tuition?

    They found someone who promised to loan them the money if they could provide some collateral, so they put down some of their property. But the person ghosted when it was time to fulfil their end of the deal. 

    This put an end to my japa plan. I returned to face my fashion design work, but there were lots of pieces to pick up. I had to return the money my friend loaned me and renew my shop rent. I haven’t recovered from it. I worked twice as hard before I managed to pay her back in September 2022, but we fell out for a bit because I missed her deadline. Luckily, the school didn’t throw her out. 

    My shop rent has been due since last month. My house rent was due earlier this month. I need ₦900k for both, and at the moment, my cash at hand is ₦390k. 

    What’s your plan?

    I’m a little at rest because I have enough to cover my house rent. But I’ve been asking myself recently how I manage to push myself into sticky situations. I’d probably be in a better place financially if I didn’t go through with the whole japa thing last year. But I have more clients now, so unlike the previous times I’ve been in tough spots, I have a clear pathway to making money in the near future. 

    Can I ask what you make in a good month?

    Between ₦300k – 500k. About 40% of that goes into expenses. 

    What do your recurring expenses look like?

    I struggle to keep the records, so I can only give you ballpark monthly figures. 

    Is there something you want but can’t afford?

    I wanted to expand my business with about ₦3m in 2022, and someone was going to put the money down. Unfortunately, they pulled out at the last minute. I’m confident it’ll happen by the end of 2023. 

    How would you rate your financial happiness?

    It’s a 5. I’m not comfortable with where I am, but I’m no longer that girl who had to live on handouts. I may not have all the things I need, but I’ll always be good. I have people around me who have my best interests at heart. That’s good enough for now. 

  • What She Said: I Don’t Just Want Happiness, I Want Wealth Too

    What She Said: I Don’t Just Want Happiness, I Want Wealth Too

    Navigating life as a woman in the world today is interesting. From Nigeria to Timbuktu, it’ll amaze you how similar all our experiences are. Every Wednesday, women the world over will share their experiences on everything from sex to politics right here. 

    What She Said: I Don't Just Want Happiness, I Want Wealth Too
    Photo by Dalila Dalprat

    This week’s #ZikokoWhatSheSaid subject is a 36-year-old Nigerian woman. She talks about learning to save while jumping molue as a teenager, her experiences with sugar daddies and her rocky path to financial independence. 

    What makes you happy right now?

    That at this point in my life, I’m financially independent. I have a steady paycheck and savings, and I don’t rely on anybody for anything. Although, as a baby girl, I won’t tell you no if you say you want to take care of me. But for myself, I’m financially independent as long as the naira doesn’t become extinct. 

    Asking for a friend. How does one achieve financial independence?

    I became financially independent sometime in 2021, and I didn’t have a job then. I was doing a lot of side gigs — writing, planning events. But I’ve worked since the holiday between my secondary school graduation and university, so it’s taken a while, a lot of denying myself, to build a savings account I’m proud of. Then I invest the savings in things that would bring me returns on a monthly and yearly basis. I developed the habit of saving at a young age.

    Ah, you’re one of God’s favourites

    LOL. Oh God, I was so razz when I was young. My father would’ve killed me if he knew, but in secondary school, my parents would give me transport money, and I’d use it to jump molue. I had this friend I used to come back home from school with, and I would lap her on the bus every day. A seat cost ₦50, so I’d pay today, and she’d pay tomorrow. 

    I just loved jumping molue like my version of an extreme sport, instead of the smaller buses that moved like snails, which my father believed were safer. Safe was boring, and I couldn’t save my money on those buses. There was this particular conductor. When he saw us coming in our uniform, he would tell us to go straight to the back. And sometimes, he wouldn’t even collect money from us. I started saving all those extra ₦50s. 

    I have absolutely no idea how I knew to do this instinctively. I guess I’ve always loved money, LOL. I didn’t know it then, but it helped me develop a culture of saving over time. And as my earnings increased, I increased how much I saved.

    What do you spend any of the saved money on?

    Well, I used those ₦50s to buy things my parents otherwise wouldn’t buy for me. Don’t ask me what. But now, it’s just investments. I don’t like to spend on things, so I mostly save to invest or travel.

    Tell us about your career journey

    It’s been rocky. But in my current position as executive assistant to the CEO of a media company, I’m hoping to find fulfilment financially, mentally and career-wise. I have a rule to only stay at a workplace for two years, so I’ve worked in a lot of places in the last 11 years. I’ve worked in e-commerce, logistics, tech, media and hospitality. I want to have a rounded experience in different industries.

    Sounds like you want to build a conglomerate soon

    That sounds amazing, to have a conglomerate of my own! 

    I’ve always been curious, which is probably why my spirit animal is a cat. No matter the industry I find myself in, I want to know what the different departments are doing and learn about the company as a whole. I plan to take everything I’ve studied from every industry and start a consulting firm. 

    My dream is for companies to pay me to travel to different countries. I’ll write stuff about things like hotels and places to visit.

    Scratch that; my real dream is to voice the lead villain character in a Walt Disney or Pixar animation — doing voice-overs is one of my side gigs. If I do that, I can die happy.

    OMG, same. What does being financially independent look like right now?

    I can feed myself, pay for my transportation to anywhere I want to go — not molues anymore but private cabs — cover most bills and take care of my mother. I took a trip to Rwanda last year, which I paid for myself; I’m already planning to visit Morocco and South Africa next year. To be able to pay my bills and do my own thing whenever and however I want is so satisfying. 

    Now, I’m saving to invest in a building I can use for something like an Airbnb. Real estate companies propose investing with them to develop a residential property and rent it out. Then you get a return monthly or biannually. That’s my goal for next year.

    What was life like before this?

    There’ve been times when I didn’t have a job, and my livelihood depended on other people’s kindness. I had to ask for every little thing I wanted. Those periods were traumatic for me, and I’ve buried them very deep in my subconscious, so I don’t remember. I never want to be in that situation again, which is why some people call me a workaholic today. I have a nine-to-five and still have side gigs. You know the Will Smith movie, In Pursuit of Happyness. I don’t just want happiness, I want wealth too.

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    Who were you dependent on, your family or significant others?

    Actually, both. You should be able to ask family for things, but if I have to ask you for money, then are we really family? I know things are difficult, and the economy isn’t what it used to be when elder brothers and sisters would randomly send you money. But still, if I have to ask, it means you don’t check up on me normally, so you don’t really care about my welfare.

    If anyone wants to take care of me, I would gladly allow them as long as we aren’t dependent on each other. It’s nice to be asked what you want to eat: “I’m going to this place. Would you like to follow me?” “Where are you going on vacation? Let me buy your ticket,” or “I’ll send you a blank check. Write a number and do what you want”. Those kinds of things are nice even when I’m earning my own money; it’s nice to be taken care of. 

    Sounds like you’re describing a sugar daddy

    Yes. Even if I get to have some fun with a sugar daddy who has sense and is willing to financially, sexually and mentally support me, I still want to have my own vex money. So there’ll never be a time he’ll say, “I made you”. You didn’t make me in any way. You just spent on me, and in exchange, I gave you company, good sex and other things.

    If you’d like to be my next subject on #WhatSheSaid, click here to tell me why

    Have you ever had a sugar daddy?

    I have a few times. I wish I had one right now — not even one, like three. But I haven’t had a sugar daddy in about seven or eight years. TBH, they bored me easily, especially when they start talking about their wife and kids. I was with my last one for like two years. I ate him well, but I got tired. 

    If you’re going to be a sugar daddy, at least, know how to play the game. My business is enjoyment. My job is to eat your money and have great sex with you. Why are you telling me about your family? After two years, I did what we now call “ghosting”. I ghosted him completely.

    What’s it like having one?

    In my experience, older men like younger women because they believe we’re sexually more creative. When many of them got married, they didn’t have access to information on different sexual positions, aphrodisiacs and toys as readily as we do now. 

    The advantage of dating a much older man is they tend to pet and dote on you and give you whatever you want. It’s the poor ones who package, and then, give excuses that business is bad or they just paid school fees. Like, what the fuck do I care?

    Ah

    Sometimes, I’d feel guilty using someone’s husband to do acrobatics in the bedroom. But it’s not my fault their husband decided to look elsewhere. If a rich man comes my way, I won’t say no. Imagine him giving me foreign currency, with our naira that’s depreciated so bad. Of course, I’ll play the game well. 

    The con is they think they know everything. You tell them something, and they’ll be like, “No, I’m older than you. I know better.” They wouldn’t be going around chasing young girls if they knew anything. There’s also always the distant fear of having acid thrown in your face.

    But how did you find them?

    I found a particular one at the bus stop on my way to my afternoon shift at work in 2013. He had this really sexy black car — I don’t remember the make, unfortunately. I’ve always loved cars, so I was admiring this one and wasn’t even looking at the driver. Then, he wound down, and I saw him sitting all laid back with only his left hand on the wheel. 

    He asked where I was going. We were heading in the same direction, pretty far away, so he offered me a ride. He was married with three kids and a businessman. He came to pick me up when I closed from work, and we went out for dinner. He took me to a local place where we had isi ewu in two wooden bowls, and that’s how it started. He would travel and bring me gifts from every trip. 

    I enjoyed that for like a year and a half until he did the one thing that goes against all the glucose guardian rules. 

    What did he do?

    Somehow, his wife got my number. I was at work one evening when she called and just started raining abuses on me. I cut the call. She used her daughter’s phone to call back. I blocked both numbers and sent him a message: “It’s not that deep. How can you be so careless? Why is your wife calling me? Why is your daughter calling me?” 

    He called me apologising that he didn’t know how she got it or he left his phone somewhere. In my mind, I was like, what if she found out where I live? He kept calling and sending messages, even money, for about two weeks, but I was done. I had to block him.

    Wow

    That’s the story of how I met one of my sugar daddies. Nothing fantastic or romantic. I’ve actually noticed it’s when I stop looking that they start coming. If I decide I want to find a sugar daddy and put in the work, I never find. So I can’t really say there’s a technique. 

    There are places they claim you can find them, but that was before. They now have sense, and they know people are looking for them, coupled with the state of the economy. Before, they’d try to hide the fact that they’re married. Now, they’re bold, choosy and full of themselves. It’s so annoying.

    I still want to live a baby girl life, but I’m fiercely independent. I have a low tolerance for unnecessary masculine behaviour like when they ask, “Who are you talking to? Who was that on the phone?” When they start talking about their family — I hate that one — or start giving excuses when I ask for money. I’m like, “Hello. Why are you a glucose guardian if you can’t give glucose?”

    What’s your relationship life been like beyond that?

    My relationship life has been almost non-existent. I can’t remember the last time I was in one, to be honest. I’ve had more flings in the past seven years than relationships. I don’t know what that says about me, but I’m fine. 

    You know, I’m not cursed or anything. I just don’t know why it’s like that. I try not to allow it to disturb me because, as I said, I’m all about my pursuit of wealth. I’m just trying to have a career, make money and be happy. If my happiness would involve a man, fine. If it doesn’t, I just want to be happy.

    For more stories like this, check out our #WhatSheSaid and for more women like content, click here

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  • From Rugs to Riches, African Women Artisans Are Weaving Their Way to Financial Independence

    From Rugs to Riches, African Women Artisans Are Weaving Their Way to Financial Independence

    By Seth Onyango, bird story agency

    It is evening and daylight is fading fast along the Jinja-Tororo road as it passes through Buwenda Village, Uganda. The road is dry, littered with shrivelled leaves dancing on vacant murram-sidewalks − their rustling clearly audible as they roll along the dusty ground. The lush green vegetation surrounding the neighbourhood is the source of birdsong as the day winds down. The weaverbirds in the neighbourhood are still busy, as are the women in the textile workshop at Kilombera Weaving.

    Kilombera is the local name of a weaverbird found in the area. The male birds spend hours weaving an intricate and attractively designed nest in a desperate bid to attract a mate.

    The Kilombera workshop, on the other hand, has both men and women practitioners, all busy producing ornate kikoy cloths, baskets, bags and other beautiful products that are destined for overseas markets, either via visiting tourists or via exporters who are finding ready markets for beautiful handmade goods, all over the globe.

    On a typical day, activities at the workshop reach their apogee around noon. Betty Korutindo is immersed in her work, arranging yarns on a beam to form the patterns that will be threaded into a loom. The yarns are organised into stripes, requiring laborious threading.

    Korutindo is one of a growing number of workers in the industry whose fortunes have changed significantly since they joined the industry.

    They have been helped by the transformation of markets in Africa and elsewhere, thanks to the growing opportunity for online sales by both individuals, who might have come across African products on a trip to the continent, as well as major retailers and even luxury brands.

    For some time, baskets and other handmade products from Africa have found buyers through Amazon, Wayfair, Etsy and on fair trade platforms, where they first got noticed.

    Now, luxury brands have joined the fray. Brands such as Prada, Chloé, Celine and Dolce & Gabbana are selling luxury woven tote bags inspired by Ghana’s Bolga and Kenya’s Kiondo handmade bags.

    Purchasing one online could set you back anywhere between 500 and 4,000 US dollars.

    Colourful handwoven African sisal baskets made by women’s co-operatives are also being sold on online marketplaces like the Africanmarketbaskets.com which sources products from artisans and sells them wholesale in the US and Canada.

    From Tanzania to Morocco to Ghana, weaving is helping to create African entrepreneurs, many of them women.

    In Somalia, the skill has also become a source of income and provided economic empowerment for many women in Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) camps while in Morocco, Beni rugs have gained such worldwide attention and soared in prices to such an extent that only the affluent can afford them.

    In Bahir Dar, Ethiopia, weaving has helped bridge the employment gap in the populous East African state, while in Akatarong’ot village in Kenya’s arid Turkana, a 30-year-old, mother of seven, Alice Korea has just received a monthly payment from the Hunger Safety Net Programme (HSNP), a government initiative. It is not much, but enough to buy her raw materials to support her basket weaving business, buy food and educate her children.

    With two children in high school, she is relieved to have a regular source of income — and the independence that comes with that.

    “I am so happy I can educate my kids and buy food. We don’t need charity and pity… we need the government to create a market for our products because key markets are far,” she said.

    She is in a group of women making baskets, mats and brooms which are transported to Kitale, the administrative town of Trans Nzoia County for large-scale trade — and then to the capital, Nairobi.

    The Akwete Women’s Weaving Cooperative in southeastern Nigeria has built a reputation for making hand-woven cloth (Akwete). Their motifs are created by a supplementary weft structure on a warp-faced, plain-weave ground, with the white and lurex enhanced with multi-coloured patterns. Women in Nigeria and elsewhere in Africa are increasingly choosing richly woven cloth like this for their wedding outfits, replacing imported “white wedding” wear.

    The same is happening in Tanzania, Togo, Burundi, Rwanda, Liberia and South Africa, where weaving has become a financial model that creates a cycle of entrepreneur-driven growth among women, resulting in permanent financial independence for the artisan.

    Back at Buwenda in Uganda, women working here are among those that have been able to abandon a way of life characterised by women staying at home to nurse children while their husbands went out to work.

    Today, these women have polished their craft to deliver making beautiful kikoys, baskets and bags and take home a fixed income to support their families.

    Korutindo’s journey is an incredible one, from stultifying poverty to community-wide influence.

    “Before I got this job, I used to be a stay-home mum but now life has changed and I can educate my kids and cater to other needs,” she said.

    At the other end of the workshop, Godfrey Dhafa engages a group of tourists placing their orders for hand-woven kikoys. The materials will be ready within three weeks of their stay in Uganda.

    A deal inked with Eco Mama Global (EMG), a conscious, grassroots organisation based in Vancouver, Canada, under which the latter will purchase products directly from the workshop and sell them abroad, has him in good spirits.

    “Our mission is to enhance the quality of living for families in poor rural areas through education of women involving environmental sustainability, permaculture, holistic health, natural birthing and yoga,” reads the organisation’s vision, in part.

    At the workshop, visitors are regularly awestruck by the richness of the products — which extend to scarves, shawls, mobile and tablet bags, changing mats, hooded towels, burp cloths and baby bibs.

    Some of their products take as long as a week to create, depending on the design. The level of artistry and intricacy achieved in the handloom fabrics is difficult to replicate and certain weaves/designs are still beyond the scope of modern machines.

    According to Dhafa, the advantages of the business are that it provides sustainable employment to a relatively small but skilled labour force, is eco-friendly and has the flexibility of small-scale production, while also being able to adapt to market requirements. It also establishes a bond between buyer and manufacturer.

    Here, here every weave has a human touch to it.

    bird story agency


    READ ALSO: “I Love Transforming People Into Rich Aunties” — A Week in the Life of a Textile Designer

  • She’s 24 And Obsessed With Financial Independence

    She’s 24 And Obsessed With Financial Independence

    Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.

    Tell me about your oldest memory of money.

    As early as 16 years old, I was already creating my path to financial independence. 

    Even during the ASUU strike in my 100L, I decided to get a job. Why? Because I wanted to foot my own bills. I decided I was done asking my big sister for weekend money and the likes, so I decided to go job hunting. 

    My first job as a salesperson at a boutique lasted only 5 months because I had to go back to school. My pay was ₦10,000 and man, did it mean a lot to me back then. 

    I felt this new sense of self-worth after being paid at the end of the month. 

    Whenever I received my salary, I’d create a shopping list straight. Then in 2013, I decided to start a tutorial business while in school. Sadly, it didn’t go well; I like to call it my first example of a failed business venture.

    Why do you think it failed?

    I’ve not really asked myself that. I think I focused on a small number of people. Over the years, I’ve learned that for a business to scale you have to cut across a large number of people. So, I didn’t do enough publicity. Lesson learned. 

    What did you try next?

    Upon graduation in 2016, I decided to learn how to sew – that cost ₦50,000. I registered in a fashion school to acquire tailoring skills, that was my next venture. Making clothes to make people beautiful and make me money.

    My training lasted for 6 months; then, I started taking orders, showed people what I made, told them I made the clothes I wore. And boom, I had clients and money taking gentle steps into my account. It felt good.

    How much did you charge on your first order?

    ₦3,500. Even after getting employed I continued sewing, it served as an extra source of income. For some reason, I have never believed in having only one source of income. In fact, this helped me because for the first 7 months after NYSC in 2018, all I did to earn money was sew. 

    My room was my workshop. I had clients in Lagos, Port Harcourt, Kaduna, it was interesting. Friends saw my work on social media and placed orders. The concept was to get large orders. At one point I thought of making ready to wear and sending them abroad to my relative to help me sell and then get paid in dollars.

    Sadly, I wasn’t even saving my profits, or investing back into the business, or getting better machines. I was really excited I was making money, but my money was going from my income column to my expense column. Haha!

    Then financial literacy.

    You had to learn financial literacy?

    Oh yes. I always knew the word ‘saving’ for example, but never applied it. Then I read the first of the Smart Money Woman series. Then everything changed. Luckily this was around the same time I got my employment into a logistic company. I joined in November 2018. 

    How much were you earning on the average month while sewing, and what was the logistics gig paying? 

    I was making about ₦60,000 and the company was paying around that same amount. The job got so demanding, so I had to stop taking orders to make clothes, leaving me with just my salary as my only source of income.

    How has your income grown in this period?

    Mid-2019, I decided to start another business — a smoothie business. My smoothie business has grown so much that I make 3 times more than salary from it. It has really been challenging, combining work and this juice business. I have to wake up 4am daily to prepare the juice and smoothies, then deliver them before going to work. But not only has my income grown, but also my financial literacy. Every month I save between 65-70% of my salary and 80% of my business proceeds.

    My 9-5 salary is about ₦60,000 and on the side I’m making close to ₦200,000. 

    Wait, you haven’t gotten a raise since 2018?

    No. I was wondering what financial growth I could achieve with that pay, so started thinking of how to make more money on the side. That was what moved me to start my juice business. It pushed me out of my comfort zone.

    About the raise part, it’s a one man’s business. Structures don’t really exist. I basically see it as a place to acquire some business/organisational skills, learn about the marine sector, know a little about a lot, before transitioning to the next thing.

    What’s the next thing?

    Travelling to a country that actually works. Alongside saving a lot of money to invest in the stock market – not the Nigerian stock market though – and real estate.

    Ah, Canada?

    Our second country – but not necessarily there sha – there’s also Australia. 

    I see you’re pretty military about money.

    I grew up in a household where all the women were really financially self-empowered, and this rubbed off on me. Then I read Arese’s Smart Money Woman, and it did a lot of work

    How has the pandemic affected your juice business though?

    Thankful to God, it didn’t affect my business. At the beginning phase of the lockdown, I thought it would but instead, it boosted it. I market my products as immune system boosters.

    Tell me more about this fruit business. 

    I supply fruit and vegetable juices, smoothies, tigernut, zobo and so daily. It’s a subscription based business. People subscribe daily, weekly, and monthly. On a daily basis, I supply between 18-25 orders, which generates between ₦10,000 – ₦15,000 daily revenue. 

    I target gyms, sporting centers, offices and supermarkets within Festac. But because of the nature of my job, I have not really been able to supply as much as I want to. 

    Have you ever considered a world where you did this full time?

    Definitely. During the first stage of the lockdown when I thought I would lose my job, I decided to do my juice business full time and focus on really expanding the business instead of applying for another job. I got 4 new customers during the lockdown, and lost some old ones too because of the closure of some centres.

    So, we’ve talked about the revenue from your business. But how much does it give you in profit on an average month?

    ₦100,000 – ₦130,000.

    Well done. Let’s break down your expenses on a monthly basis.

    My salary is ₦60,000, I divide my expenses budget into: 

    •  Groceries: 
    • Transportation: this is a 15-minute trip.  
    • Food: I don’t eat out a lot. 

    This comes from about 30% of my income – that is ₦18,000 – while I save the rest. From my business, I use 20% to buy groceries and save the rest. So, let’s say I make ₦130,000, that means it’d be ₦26000. Then I save the rest.

    I also invest into my business and I’m gradually growing my money to invest in real estate.

    Why are you saving so much?

    I want to relocate, then do my Masters. It’s a project I want to do for myself by myself, with no assistance from anyone. Honestly, I want to start life afresh in a better country.

    I feel you. Hypothetically, if you weren’t going to do it by yourself, where would you get help from?

    My family. But I won’t because I want to handle this adulthood journey 100% on my own and definitely with God’s help. 

    Would their support be an inconvenience to them? Like, they love you and all that, but would it be difficult for them if they had to raise a lot of money?

    No. But financial independence is something I’m gradually achieving. The last time I even collected money from home was in 2017 when going for NYSC. This attitude has moved me to do more for myself, push me out of my comfort zone and think of how to create wealth for me.

    So, I imagine you have a savings goal for this project, how much are you gunning for? How long have you raised?

    Let’s say about ₦5million, and I’ve saved about ₦1 million. 8-9 months. 

    How long do you think it’d take to get to the next million? 

    An average of 7 months. But I don’t need to have all the ₦5 million before going though. Just half or more than half, I will continue the hustle when I get there. 

    Is ‘there’ Masters or Abroad?

    I intend to do my Masters abroad. When I get there, I’m getting a job or two to foot my bills. 

    What’s something you want right now that you can’t afford?

    Relocating. 

    Hahaha. The Japa is the only direction your compass is facing. When did you first realise you wanted to leave?

    2012 when we travelled to the UK for summer. I got lost on my way back home. Unhappily for me, I found my way home, I – 

    Wait, you just intentionally got ‘lost’?

    Hahaha, no I didn’t. I was so angry because I didn’t want to return to Nigeria in 2 days with them. I have always known this country is not for me.

    Hahaha. Sorry, a segue; what’s the last thing you paid for that required serious planning?

    I can’t remember o. Since 2018, I’ve been really keeping my life simple to save more. 

    Fascinating. Because you plan a lot, I imagine that you don’t get hit by a lot of miscellaneous. 

    I have always been a simple person; I buy only things I need. I was about to order a hair worth ₦60k this month but I was like no that’s almost the price to apply to 2 schools for my masters program – ₦70k. Somehow, I always have the bigger picture in view.

    Please, do you ever spoil yourself?

    I get asked this a lot, but I’m a really boring person and this helps me stay focused. Truth is, I need to stay focused to make the kind of money I need to spoil myself with — somewhere in the Caribbean sipping cocktails on a boat, hahaha. 

    So, you’ve raised the ceiling for what you’d consider as enjoyment. What are your small pleasures? 

    Gowns. I love gowns and shoes. 

    How would you rate your happiness levels, on a scale of 1-10, and why?

    11, I broke the scale, hahaha. I’m an entire vibe of happiness on my own.  I don’t even know how I do it, staying happy and excited.

    What excites you?

    Life, nature, good people. I lost my mom when I was 10, and surviving life, growing up successfully without a mother makes me see life differently. Makes me want to stay happy about so many things because today they are here and tomorrow they are gone. 

    I feel inspired by my mom’s story, how she came from a poor home, came to the city did a whole lot for herself and her family before she died.

    So sorry about your loss. I’m curious about your dad.

    We live together and he has been bringing me up all along. Although sometimes, he gets sad I don’t talk about marriage and starting a family, it’s always about how I want to grow financially.

    Me? I just like setting goals and challenging myself to achieve them.