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  • The Ghostwriter Who Doesn’t Care About Fame — A Week in the Life

    A Week in the Life is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    When this ghostwriter started writing in 2014, her rate was ₦1 per word. 8 years later, she’s making 7 figures per project. Maybe one day she’ll release a book with her name but right now, she doesn’t care — as long as the pay is good. This is #AWeekInTheLife of Ebimoboere Ibinabo Dan-Asisah.

    Graphic image of a week in the life of a ghostwriter

    MONDAY

    I work from home and I’m my own boss, so my day can start anytime, and waking up for me is vibes and inshallah. But when I’m feeling responsible, I wake up around 10 a.m. It takes an hour for my brain to boot completely, and then, I find something random to read for the next hour — could be an article or story online.

    By around 11-ish, I make coffee, shower, dress up, open my laptop and get to writing. For the next four hours, I’ll grind out about 7,000 words. I average about 1,000 words every thirty-or-so minutes, a writing muscle I’ve built over the past ten years. It helps when I’m on a deadline; I write even faster. But there are some jobs that are so complex I simply cannot rush because doing so would be trying to kill myself. 

    By 5 p.m., I take a two-hour break to cook or read something casual. Around 7, I’m back to work, but this time, I make corrections and review what I’ve written — basically become my own editor. By 9 p.m., I take another break to watch a movie or hang out with my partner, who’s also my roommate.

    Depending on how much work I have to do, after this break, I could either prepare for bed or go back to writing till 4 a.m.

    TUESDAY

    I ghostwrite anything from articles to research papers to full-length books. My writing process is simple. Usually, a client approaches me with a brief. This brief contains the project requirements and guidelines or plotlines to follow. Once we agree on terms and conditions, I get to work. If it’s a biography, I conduct interviews. Then, I mimic what I think would be the client’s writing style. Once I finish writing, and the client is satisfied, they buy the work from me. What that means is I have no ownership of the work. I have no copyright, no royalties, no cuts from sales or merchandising or movie rights.

    I have nothing to do with the work once I’m done writing. I’ve written a few things that became big, but I can’t take credit. It doesn’t bother me, maybe because when I started writing, my main motivation was money. I didn’t go into it because I wanted my name on the New York Times Best Seller list. I didn’t have those dreams when I first started. All I wanted was to get paid. It’s only now that it’s beginning to occur to me that I may need to put my name on something and let people know how good I am, because I’m good.

    But even then, it’s still just a back-burner desire. I’m working on a novel, but I’ll complete it in my own time. There’s no rush. Right now, I’m good with earning six figures consistently.

    WEDNESDAY

    When I woke up today, it hit me that I’ve been ghostwriting for so long, I now feel like a robot. But I love it because it’s given me an opportunity to be whoever I want to be, do whatever I want to, write and earn a living from it.

    Ten years ago (in 2014), if you’d told me that I’d have a career as a ghostwriter, I wouldn’t even have known what that meant. 

    I stumbled into ghostwriting because I was poor and needed money. I wasn’t just in the trenches — If there was a rung below the trenches, that’s where I was. During the holidays before I started 300 level, I went home and there was no money. I had to do some introspection to figure out how to earn and help with the upkeep at home. I didn’t have any fantastic artistic or technical skills. The only thing I could do was write. 

    I didn’t even consider myself a writer because the only time I’d ever done any writing was in secondary school — English essays in classwork and exams. But at that point, my only options were writing or sex work. I decided to try writing first.

    I reached out to friends and told them I was looking for writing jobs. Luckily, someone introduced me to a guy who was paying ₦1 per word; he asked me to send samples of my work. I didn’t have any samples, so I quickly wrote an article of 750 words and sent it over. He gave me an assignment to write 3,000 words in two days and paid me ₦3k for it — the first money I ever made. I was so excited.

    THURSDAY

    Today, after coffee, I worked on my current project, a sci-fi novella in a dystopian future. Taking a break, I let my mind wander.

    Being a ghostwriter is interesting because I get to write on a diverse range of topics. There’s literally no genre I’ve not written about, from the most niche topics to the most technical and even batshit crazy stuff.

    Like the time I started, in those dark days when I was earning ₦1 per word, there was this guy who had a fetish for eating boiled eggs and farting. I got him through a middle man. When I looked at the brief: a 3,000-word erotica about swallowing boiled eggs whole and farting. I was mortified, but I needed to eat. So I accepted it. 

    During that period, I wrote the most unhinged and twisted stories. There was a time when PornHub was the default page in my phone’s browser. Think of anything. There’s porn for it. I had to do tons of research because these clients needed the most specific descriptions. There’s even a subgenre of porn called vore, where people get sexually aroused from seeing people get swallowed or imagining being swallowed whole. I remember writing one about Godzilla flinging people into its mouth. I’ve come across people who get off from the wildest things.

    But I’m thankful I no longer have to write things like that. I started writing around 2014 and wrote at ₦1 for about six years, until I graduated from university, fell out with parents, got heartbroken by my boyfriend at the time. So I took on a writing job. My boss was toxic and kept devaluing my work. She’d broke-shame me because she knew I was earning peanuts from ghostwriting, which was ironic because she only paid me ₦50k a month.

    In my personal life, shit got real for me. I had a law degree, but I wasn’t ready to go to law school only to come back and work for ₦25k while running errands for whatever law firm. 

    In 2019, I got duped. I got a gig to write a dark erotic romance novel, which is a genre of fucked-up love stories. I was excited for the project because it’s a genre I really liked, and also the most money I would’ve made at the time. The 50,000-word project would earn me ₦150k at ₦3 per word. The client paid me ₦50k up front and was supposed to complete the payment when I was done.

    Turbocharged, I finished the book in record time. But in excitement, I made a huge mistake — I sent the entire manuscript before receiving payment. He ghosted me. It broke my heart. I initially wanted to publish it, but I didn’t even know the first thing about publishing.

    In 2020, I was depressed and my writing wasn’t giving. When I tried to kill myself, I knew I had to leave my parent’s house in Port Harcourt. I moved to Lagos and squatted with a male friend for some time. Not a great time because his girlfriend wasn’t okay with the arrangement. I was stranded, and it was then I realised I could no longer write at ₦1 for a word.

    When I got fired from the writing job I hated, I increased my rates to ₦5 per word. Clients resisted. Many of them ran away, but two clients liked my work too much to let me go. After a couple of months, I raised my rates yet again to ₦10 per word and got even less patronage. But I didn’t budge. 

    In 2021, I realised I was shortchanging myself because I’m too fucking good to be counting words. So I decided to start charging per project. While I endured the wilderness for a while, eventually, an acquaintance recommended me to a client who agreed to pay me what I asked for — six figures! He told me his projects earned him as much as ₦10m per job.

    Everything changed for me. In the past year, the least money I’ve earned from a project is ₦780k. And I don’t intend to ever go lower. If it’s not paying me six zeroes, I don’t want. One of the projects I’m currently working on will earn me ₦10m when completed.

    But it isn’t all roses. I’m a freelancer, so jobs don’t come consistently. Sometimes, it rains; sometimes, it’s a drought.

    FRIDAY

    It’s been a hectic week. Today, I’m just going to unwind. I’ll resist the temptation to open my laptop. I may work tomorrow, but today, I’ll go to Landmark Beach. On my way back, I’ll stop by my favourite spot on the Island to drink craft beer. 

    When I come back home, I’ll cook seafood pasta and drink merlot. Problem no dey finish. Tomorrow, we go again.


    ALSO READ: A Week in the Life of a Bookstagrammer Hoping to Go Global


    Check back for new A Week in the Life stories every first Tuesday of the month at 9 a.m. If you’d like to be featured on the series, or you know anyone interesting who fits the profile, fill out this form.

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  • A Week in the Life of ‘Agba’, the Entertainer Who’d Rather Be Rich Than Famous

    “A Week in the Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    The subject for today’s “A Week In The Life” is Olubiyi Oluwatobiloba, an entertainer popularly known as ‘Agba’ of Konibaje baby fame. He tells us about the good and bad side of fame, his creative process, and his exit plan when skits are no longer sustainable.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/B_AeAxWDw3Y/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

    MONDAY:

    I repeat the same pattern when I wake up every morning – I say a prayer. Then, I play old school highlife music or The Weeknd. I allow the music to set my mood for the day. After that, I watch TV for a bit, then I look for something to eat. After eating, I sleep like a mad person. 

    The only difference in my routine today is that I have to create video content for some brands. Some people call it influencing, but the term “influencer” makes me feel somehow because I’m just having fun. I do this to make people happy and to make them smile. My brand started off the back of a video I made on Twitter. It was in the comments section someone advised me to take the character to Instagram and that’s how I started. In addition to that comment, seeing people’s review of that particular video just made me do more.  It all started with just making videos for fun. 

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzli-S5FdOi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

    However, what started out as fun and cruise caught the attention of big people and companies, so there’s now a serious part. At the end of the day, I make sure that I don’t put pressure on myself. The only time I feel the pressure is if I drop content back to back for like two weeks and I have writer’s block the next week or two. That’s only when I get bothered. Anyway, it’s all cruise. I enter anywhere and just try to have fun. 

    I’m going to alternate the rest of my day between sleeping and making videos.

    TUESDAY:

    People are always surprised when they meet me outside of character – Tobi, not Agba – I think what shocks them is how chill I am. When I’m out with my friends, I take the back seat and allow them to tell all the jokes while I just observe. From watching them, I even get some material for my skits. As much as people think I am outgoing, I actually enjoy spending time with myself.

    When I want to be by myself, I read and watch the biographies of famous people. Their rise and fall, what they did wrong or right, what happened to them. I find it fascinating learning about people I loved growing up, and it also serves as a guide for me. As an entertainer, the same people who praise you today will attack you tomorrow. There was a time I posted a video on Twitter and someone came into my Dm’s saying I wasn’t funny and I was doing too much. The next week, this same person was on the timeline talking about how funny I was. That incident made me realize that people are wired funny. On one hand, I now understand that these people are not really my friends. We are just cosy over the internet. On the other hand, I have met some of the best people in my life through the internet: people that I never thought we’d talk. Finding that balance between being a person[your true friends] and an entertainer[internet friends] is important. 

    Today, I’m watching a documentary on Nina Simone to understand her life and actions. It’s better to learn from other people than from real life. 

    WEDNESDAY:

    I was telling my friends today that I’ll rather be rich than be famous. I am not anywhere yet but I appreciate the love I get. The other day, I went to buy bread and someone was shouting that I should have worn Agbada to buy bread. Are they telling me that I can’t just come out to buy bread and Akara again? 

    I also can’t contribute to certain topics on Twitter, and this was not my reality two years ago. These days, I have to consider my brand and future deals before saying anything.  

    At the stage I’m at, I’d rather have money so that I can gather my life because I can’t do skits forever. A time will come when it’s no longer viable and I must evolve if I want to remain relevant. I don’t want much: I’m okay as long as I am living fine and my family is doing well. I am doing this to lay the foundation for the future. Very soon, I’ll jaapa to Finland or Denmark so I won’t have any pressure to create content. 

    There’s no use thinking about these things, I’m going to play FIFA to distract myself.  

    THURSDAY:

    If you ask me about my creative process, it’s like this: I get inspiration from looking at Twitter and based on the mood there, I make content. Also, I could be watching Big Brother Naija and I’ll just see something funny no one else is seeing and crack a joke out of it. Sometimes, I’m watching CNN and Trump says something ridiculous, I’ll be baffled that how can he say this? Then I’ll make satire out of it. 

    Another underrated source for me is BISCON TV – Bisi Olatilo show. That’s where I draw inspiration about Yoruba culture from. It’s fun just watching dignitaries singing, dancing and having fun. It even inspired my joke about going to a wedding and no one ever listening to the father of the groom addressing pẹople.  If you watch BISCON TV, you’ll see shit like that. 

    Nowadays, I try to make my content less sexual because my parents watch my skits. The reason I can even make skits is that they gave me the grace to be outspoken; they allowed me to express myself. I talk about sex in my videos because I find the Yoruba terms for sex to be hilarious, however, my parents advised me to focus more on the funny side. So, that’s what I try to do now.

    At the end of the day, it’s still a win for me because it helps with the brand. The best part of all this is being able to use all of this to bamboozle and befuddle my girlfriend[haha]. Sometimes, she’s my muse. For example, if she sends pictures, I can just enter Agba mode to gas her and show her one or two. O ti ye eh. It’s one of those things.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CB1VV81jnh8/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

    FRIDAY:

    The day John Boyega called me was crazy. To quote my babe, she was like “Tobi, your  Twitter followers are mad people.” 

    I was asleep and people kept calling me. I remember my friend called me twice and I grudgingly picked on his second try. He started shouting that John Boyega was calling me on Twitter to make a video in Yoruba for him. 

    I jumped up immediately. Ji! ma sun.

    The thing is that when famous people reach out, it’s always for work. So, I don’t get time to be starstruck. I don’t have that luxury. Even when I get to meet them in person and I sometimes get to play FIFA with them, I always have it at the back of my mind that it’s work.

    In this case, I had just seen Star Wars the week before and this same guy was messaging me to come to do stuff with him. It was crazy. I quickly logged into Twitter and  I told him it’d take a while for the video to be ready and he should give me time. After that, I put my phone on airplane mode and went to work. 

    So, there I was, transcribing and translating to Yoruba for 2-3 hours. I made sure my pronunciation was tight and everything. When I was done and satisfied with my work, I put my phone on network mode, and saw messages – “Don’t you know what’s happening on Twitter?” “Have you seen Twitter.”

     In my head, I was like what’s going on? Shebi John said I should do the video. Oluwa, what’s happening? That’s how I logged into Twitter and saw that someone else had made a video. I was like “Father Lord, this was not part of the will.” 

    I am not a controversial person and I believe that the sky is big enough for everyone so I didn’t say anything. People had different opinions about who should have done the video, and both camps had valid points. Someone even dissed me that it’s because we don’t have light in Nigeria that I didn’t do the video in time. That the person who made the video before me is based in South Africa and has constant power while I had to battle with generator rope. That was the funniest thing I heard that day.

    In all of this, I couldn’t drop the video without John’s knowledge as he was not online. Instead of allowing the external pressure to get to me while waiting, I caught cruise instead. People on Twitter were expecting me to say something or react, instead, I tweeted a full stop. See RT’s. I tweeted rose emoji, eagle emoji, the same number of insane RT’s. I tweeted starboy elepon malu just to see how far I could take it, and still the same insane RT’s. I was having so much fun that day while some people thought I was worried sick. 

    John eventually came online and I sent the video to him. He acknowledged both our videos and posted mine on his page. I even reached out to the other guy [Lekan Kingkong] that it’d be beneficial to work together. After that incident, we did videos together and now, we are really close; his followers have even helped my brand.

    I learned two things from that incident, firstly, the power of social media when mixed with controversy. From that incident, I gained 12,000 followers. I got so many notifications that my phone started to hang. The phone that was not complete before and I was managing the O.S, they wanted to finish it for me. Secondly, I processed that this was John Boyega. I did work for actual John Boyega and I was proud of myself because I didn’t wake up thinking I’d do stuff with him that day. At the end of the day, it’s just the grace of God. And my prayer is that it continues to cover all of us. 

    I have work in the pipeline, I’m working on a few things with some big companies and people. I have plans to start doing 30 mins skits of pure audio comedy. I’m looking forward to being signed by one of the biggest talent management companies in Nigeria, the future looks bright.

    Today, which is the only thing I have control over, I’m going down to the bar to share laughs and drink a bottle of Guinness with friends.


    Glossary:

    O ti ye eh – You understand me, right?

    Ji! ma sun – Wake up and smell the coffee [be alert]


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.