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Exams | Zikoko!
  • “When I Saw The Exam Questions, I Started Crying”

    “I’ve hated exams since I was a child. Studying Law just made the hate a whole lot deeper. All my courses are 4 units so I know if I fail, I’m finished. When I sit in the exam hall, it seems like everything just goes away and I’m in a blank slate until I get myself again.”

    “One time in 100-level, I looked at the questions and assumed I didn’t know anyone so I started crying. Nobody saw me, and I just cried for a long time. When I was tired, I stopped and did the exam, I didn’t fail.”

    “The most dramatic thing I did during exams was when I wanted to write Contract Law. I sat in my room on the day of the exams and started crying. But that wasn’t enough, so I broke my chain. But even that wasn’t enough, so I cut my hair for the first time since I was a child. When I got into the exam hall, I cried some more, and then I wrote my exam. I didn’t fail.”

  • 17 Things About Exam Period Only Unilag Students Will Understand

    1. When its one week to exams and those lecturers start fixing triple-period classes.

    I’m getting you people o!

    2. When you’ve not printed your docket and you hear the portal is closed.

    Ah! Am I not finished like this?

    3. Jaja boys thinking of what to protest about so they can shift the exams.

    ”Shey quality of New Hall weed, abi bed bugs?”

    4. You will now start seeing some new faces in classes.

    When did these ones join this class abeg?

    5. Some people will still come and borrow notes one day to exams.

    My fren will you gerrarahia?

    6. How first class students be in Main Library.

    Because these guys are not your mates.

    7. You, trying to make sense of all the jargon in your notes.

    Did I actually write all this nonsense?

    8. You, when it’s exam period and NEPA starts flashing the light.

    Its like these people want to die!

    9. When you apply dusting powder to night class and people are looking at you funny.

    Whachu looking at? Better face your book!

    10. When you hear someone has run mad in the library.

    Hay God! I bind every spirit of madness!

    11. When you see your friend hanging with her guy in Love Garden.

    It is yourself you’re doing o!

    12. Classes on a normal day VS classes during exams.

    Jesoxxx! So there are plenty people in this school like this?

    13. When you and your squad are reading in FSS and you hear gunshots in New Hall.

    Who wants to die?

    14. You, looking for the question the lecturer said is sure to come out.

    It must be here somewhere.

    15. Wicked lecturers looking at y’all struggling and enjoying it.

    “A is for God, B, and C are for me, you people can share the rest”

    16. When Sodeinde boys start their wahala rap-battles again.

    They will not let someone read in peace!

    17. When they’re giving someone malpractice form to fill during the paper and you have dubs on you too.

    Please God, just help me out of this one.
  • If You Ever Tried To Write WAEC With Dubs, This Post Is For You

    1. When mock exams are over

    And you thought you did well.

    2. Then mock results came out

    My God. 20/100.

    3. So you realize you cannot do this on your own

    Na only me waka come?

    4. You, looking for who has sure dubs

    I cannot stay at home for one year abeg.

    5. When your parents start telling you about having straight A’s

    These ones want to kill me.

    6. When you hear rumors about dubs being available

    Where??? It’s lit!

    7. You, with the person that is going to provide the whole class dubs for WAEC and NECO

    Our lives are in his hands.

    8. You and your squad when the teacher is doing final revision

    Who revision don help.

    9. And you know there are sure dubs waiting in the hostel that night

    Winning.

    10. 10PM and you hear the dubs are in the hostel ready to be shared

    I cannot come and carry last.

    11. Writing every single letter and question mark as someone is reading it out

    About to win the award for most A’s.

    12. So you stay up studying it

    Because, last hope.

    13. You, in the exam hall waiting for the paper to start

    Let me kill this thing and move to objective.

    14. When you hear someone shout “Jesus Christ”

    It’s all over.

    15. And you don’t see any of the questions in the supposed “sure dubs”

    So this is how I become a dropout.

    16. When WAEC results finally come out

    You don’t even know how to tell yourself, talk less of your parents.
  • The Most Embarrassing Exam Leak Happened In Ethiopia, But The Government Clapped Back
    What would you do if the Nigerian government blocked all social media apps for days because of some troublemakers?

    Well, in Ethiopia, the most embarrassing exam leak happened when questions to an end-of-year exam which was to be taken by 254,000 university students leaked all over the internet in May.

    And like typical Nigerian parents, the Ethiopian government blocked all the popular social media sites for few days, as per the students like pressing their phones too much.

    Na wa o! Instead of them to tackle the exam malpractice problem directly.

    Technology didn’t kuku stop people from cheating in exams before Twitter and Instagram were created.

    But sha, can you imagine the Nigerian government taking this sort of ‘disciplinary action’ on its citizens? Very possible, right?

    Nigerian students when they see leaked questions on the internet…

    However, Ethiopians aren’t keeping quiet, the ones who currently have access to social media outside the country have condemned this action.

    But the people that leaked the questions didn’t try sha. Let’s hope the Ethiopian government properly gets to the root of the problem.

  • Looks Like We’ve Found The Kindest Professor Ever!
    Almost everyone can relate to how strict our lecturers and professors can be sometimes. But Twitter user, @Nnenna shared pictures that prove otherwise.

    She shared pictures of this professor of a university in Cote D’Ivoire backing a child with a wrapper.

    According to her, the thoughtful lecturer decided to help one of his students look after her crying baby so she could concentrate on her exams.

    He’s basically the kindest professor we’ve seen because…

    When you bring your child to an exam hall, Nigerian lecturers be like…

    How they look at you when your child starts crying.

    You can’t even beg them to help hold your child when they’ve not finished holding your CGPA for you.

    We hope this child’s mother aces her paper after her professor went an extra mile to help her focus.

    [zkk_poll post=38539 poll=content_block_standard_format_8]
  • The Story Of WAEC And The Processing Fee
    The West African Examinations Commissions (WAEC), the major examination body for West African secondary school finalists is currently under fire.

    As a result of an anti-corruption crack down on the examination bodies in Nigeria, a financial discrepancy was discovered by the minister of finance, Mrs Kemi Adeosun

    And while Nigerians were stilll processing that information, these tweets dropped on Twitter.

    It was alleged that an NGO had requested for the shortlist of the best students in the 2014/2015 WAEC examination.

    The purpose of the request was to reward the students for doing well and also inspire other students towards excellence in their studies.

    However, the second photo in the tweet was the screenshot of the alleged response the NGO received from WAEC.

    They were asked to pay a processing fee of 1.85 million Naira before getting access to the short list.

    And after speaking with the NGO for confirmation…

    To confirm the veracity of this story, I spoke to the CEO of EDUBOX and he confirmed WAEC requested N1.8million from them for processing.

    — Abd’Aziz Bakare (@Backarray) February 22, 2016

    The CEO also told me he immediately called WAEC to protest the fees and offered a lesser amount but they said it is non-negotiable.

    — Abd’Aziz Bakare (@Backarray) February 22, 2016

    As expected, the tweet generated massive reactions from Nigerians. They mentioned how convenient it was for WAEC to announce the failure of the candidates at no cost.

    https://twitter.com/Seyi__/status/701793945605578752

    How they are enemies of progress.

    Some felt the response from WAEC was legit.

    https://twitter.com/yew1e/status/701727439253336064
    [zkk_poll post=20010 poll=content_block_standard_format_10]
  • The Hilarious Story Of An Examination Cheater

    1. When you’ve been in class all through the semester doing everything but listening.

    But you keep telling yourself “I can still catch up”.

    2. And it is time for the final exam:

    Ahan the semester just started last week now!

    3. But you are lucky and the instructor announces an exam review.

    God bless you sir!

    4. So you try to get every single word said in that class.

    I’m not about to waste my tuition money!

    5. But then you gauge the 90 pages you have to read:

    Is this even possible?

    6. But you remember how much you paid that semester:

    We all gonna die on the line.

    7. After 20 pages your brain says “Storage capacity reached”.

    Dying on the line, suspended till further notice.

    8. But as a smart person you have a plan B.

    You may be smart but I am smarter.

    9. Then you call your squad together:

    Gentlemen, we have a problem come together.

    10. To practice the seating formations and tactics:

    We all have to graduate together guys.

    11. Exam day and the squad about to take their positions and murder the exam.

    So full of confidence and what not.

    12. But the invigilator has other plans and catches on to the plan.

    And he hits you with “I wasn’t born last night, you people want to cheat”.

    13. And he spaces everyone out like he’s doing coordinates.

    So far apart you cannot smell each others perfume anymore.

    14. So you spend the first ten minutes trying to remember what you read last night:

    But your brain says “LOL What a wasted effort”.

    15. So you spend the next one hour calculating:

    How much it will cost to re-sit for that exam and class.

    16. And end up wishing you had made better decisions.

    *cries in carryovers*