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  • I Almost Lost A Knee Cap — A Week In The Life Of A Drug Dealer

    “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.

    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a drug dealer. He talks to us about his process for baking edibles, how he almost lost a knee cap, and his plans to set up a cartel if his japa plans fail. 

    Editor’s note: The views expressed are those of the subject and in no way represent the views of Zikoko.

    MONDAY:

    Even though I spent the whole night getting high, I’m up early. I work as a baker-drug dealer, and I start my day on the “legal” side of my business — baking edibles. I sell almost everything that gets people high: brownie cookies, cupcakes, gummy bears, puff puff. The beauty is that I can publicly advertise these products as “happy brownies” or call them by another name because it’s an “if you know, you know” business. It’s through this front-facing part that customers looking to buy loud, LSD, molly —  I draw the line at crystal meth and heroin because I can’t deal with crackheads — and shrooms contact me. I take pride in my baking skills, and I’m always tweaking and challenging my recipes.

    Today, I’m making cannabutter. I heat up my flowers for 30 minutes to “wake” the weed up, then I crush it into fine particles. The next step is to melt the butter. I mix the fine particles with the melted butter under low heat for another 30 minutes until it changes colour. I’m confident that the liquid butter has absorbed all of the weed, so I strain it in a sieve. Once it cools, food is ready to be served. My plan is to use one portion of the butter to bake and to sell the other part. I take a quick glance at my phone and realise that I’ve gotten orders for cannabutter already. I thought I’d get a chance to lie down, but there’s work to be done. I’m going to have a quick shower, make plans for delivery and label my butter “prescription” keep out of reach of children. Eat with bread or fry with eggs. 

    TUESDAY:

    I once tried to grow my own batch of weed but it wasn’t cost-effective. The quality and potency of made in Nigeria weed significantly differ from the imported stuff — this country doesn’t support growth in any form. I have different plugs depending on what drug I’m looking for. I have one plug linked to a smuggler and another plug that’s the plug of all plugs. Because of the tendency for violence in this business, and the fact that I’m always looking over my shoulder, my plugs are people I’ve known for a while. One is a childhood friend while the other is someone I’ve also known for a fairly long time. My business model is simple: I collect an advance of drugs, sell and remit an agreed-upon sum at a due date. I also try to distance myself as much as possible from the product, and my business is mostly cash-based. There’s also a covert distribution system in place that I can’t reveal. 

    I spent today thinking about how you can’t be too careful in this business because if trouble comes, people will cut off your head. I don’t blame anyone for snitching — they’re not Jesus so they can’t die for me. Worrying doesn’t help anything, that’s why I’m going to distract myself by watching a movie. All I can really control is my being careful and to constantly remind the people I work with to be careful. 

    WEDNESDAY:

    I’ve gotten into all kinds of trouble from selling drugs. Police trouble. Customer trouble. And failing to meet my repayment schedule, which almost led to me losing a knee cap. It all started when I collected a batch of molly and agreed to deliver the profit in a week. Things were going smoothly until my village people looked into my matter. A few days before repayment was due, I got into an accident while making a large delivery. And I lost almost half of my stock. I panicked and went underground. When my supplier didn’t see his money, he came to my house to look for me. It was interesting because he brought a gun and was prepared to bear the loss and leave a bullet in my knee. I quickly took responsibility and explained what had happened. Let’s just say that I’m glad that I still have two functional knees.

    Thankfully, all of that is in the past now. 

    I’ve had a long day of fulfilling customer orders, and I’m looking forward to this evening. My girlfriend is coming over, and we’re going to chill and relax. Her support is one of the things that keeps me going. Not a lot of people would openly associate with a drug dealer but she’s different. In fact, one of the reasons she’s dating me is because I’m a bad boy. I guess we’re both addicted to the thrill of life. 

    THURSDAY:

    I got fucked up last night, and I wake up late today. The first thing I do is check my phone, and I see a message from one of my friends whining me about how cool my job is. I guess it’s easy to glamorise what I do because of how pop culture has white-washed drug dealing. This business is profitable enough that I can pay my school fees in millions per semester, and you can make fortunes in a year of dealing drugs because you have a repeat customer base addicted to your product. But the truth remains that it’s still a very dangerous job. I started dealing drugs because I couldn’t afford to pay school fees after transferring schools. Every day I make a sale, I keep asking myself: what if someone snitches and I get locked up forever? That’s my education down the drain. But what if I somehow see my education through? That means I’ll be set for life. These thoughts are why I’m constantly risking the odds. 

    The most difficult part for me as a drug user is the discipline to not get high on my own supply, and the grit to constantly keep my eye on the target. I pay for my drugs in full without any discount. I give myself achievement points to reach before I allow myself to buy drugs. And I never remove money without being accountable. 

    FRIDAY: 

    Policemen are your friend as long you settle them. I’ve had instances where policemen have stopped me, extorted me and tried to befriend me. Someone once gave me his number to call him anytime I got into trouble along a particular route. Another time, while being searched on suspicion of dealing drugs, a police officer was telling me he knew a plug for where to buy loud at wholesale price. It’s crazy thinking about the fact that these are the people meant to protect us. I can’t help but think that outside of drug dealers, policemen are liaising with other criminals. I’m fairly certain that kidnappers and ritualists are having a field day with the system.  

    It’s easy to judge me and say I’m ruining my life, but the system failed me. In my old university, I was told that the entry-level for graduates studying my course was ₦20,000. That’s not even enough to cover half of the cost of the professional exams I had to write. In a society where people only respect your pocket, I had to fall in line and jazz up. In a year of dealing, I’ve gone from being scorned at home to being respected. I’m now the person who takes care of utilities and stocks the house without asking anyone for nada. 

    The only reason I’m selling drugs is that I’m still in Nigeria. I’m currently working my way through school to become a full stack developer. The next step is to find my way out of this hell hole. 2022 must not meet me here. If, for some useless reason, I’ve still not escaped, I’m just going to set up my own cartel. 

    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.

    [donation]

    Hassan Yahaya

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  • 6 Young Nigerians Talk About Mental Health Medication

    According to the World Health Organisation, one in four Nigerians has a mental illness. The same health body also estimates that one in four people globally will have a mental illness at some point in their lives. Nigeria has about 300 psychiatrists catering to its teeming 200 million-strong population. With statistics such as these, many young people requiring mental health care are unable to access it, exacerbating their condition.

    To highlight the importance of seeking professional mental health care, I spoke to five young Nigerians with mental health conditions about their experiences with medication.

    Tobi, Male, 25 

    I was in school for an important exam and I found out I couldn’t read or remember anything I had read. It was quite difficult to fall asleep and I woke up tired and frustrated, which frustrated me even more. I knew I was terribly scared of the exam but I assumed everyone was scared too. The anxiety disorder and depression diagnosis came in 2019 and I was placed on a regimen of drugs, including anti-hypertensives.

    They made me feel crappy. While I felt unhappy and anxious before, I suddenly felt super sleepy during classes and lacked the mental strength to do anything. I felt like a robot. A weak and tired robot with no happiness or sadness. I cut it out after a while and embraced the anxiety, despite my exams. I still get memory lapses and mad anxiety while at work. After a while, a friend recommended I visit the Yaba Neuro-psychiatric hospital and was placed on a different regimen. These drugs made me feel demotivated, groggy and tired. I intend to go back to complain about these side effects.

    Big Daddy, Male, 26

    I had no choice but to go see a psychiatrist. It was either that or killing myself, and I really wasn’t in the mood to die. I decided to go to a psychiatric hospital in Calabar. I was prescribed some drugs and we’ve had to adjust the dosage over time. I started with 100mg daily, reduced to 50mg after a while, then down to 25mg only when I needed it. But the Lekki Tollgate incident happened and messed up my psyche and I’m back to 25mg daily. It was a really mentally disturbing period. 

    The side effects were another story. Increased lethargy, loss of libido, fatigue, weight gain, insomnia, irritability. Eventually, my body adjusted and the side effects dwindled by the day. Now, I’m seeing the benefits of the medication, the most distinct of which is my mood stability. Mood swings occur less frequently and my anxiety is much more manageable.

    The meds also helped me in several other ways, in the short term. For example, I become very anxious when I’m flying. Taking a pill of my meds before my flight reduced my anxiety drastically while in the air. I also sleep much better. Before the meds, my sleep pattern was horrible. I used to be able to sleep maybe 3-4 hours and I’d spend all day lethargic. Not anymore. Even beyond my mental health, I still see other benefits. For example, one of the drugs I was prescribed for depression also treats irritable bowel syndrome, which I’ve always had. I have the double benefit of fixing my head and stopping my stomach from killing me with one drug.

    Reni, Female, 31

    I had my first major depressive episode in 2010. At first, I was in denial and tried to deal with it myself. I eventually sought treatement in 2015 and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I began some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy but it started feel like homework so I stopped. I didn’t get a prescription for drugs because I was moving to a new city and didn’t want to handle all the side effects of the drugs while settling in. I eventually got a prescription in 2018.

    Depression is HARD. It makes everyday feel like climbing a mountain. Even little things like eating become difficult and don’t get me started on the suicide ideation. This is why medication is important. The meds make depression less heavy and life easier, generally. 

    Depression is a never-ending journey. In 2018, I had another major depressive/anxiety episode. It was so bad that I had to go to the doctor’s office for an emergency appointment. I just wanted them to give me all the drugs LOL. 

    The medication isn’t a magical fix though. It takes time to kick in, and some of the initial side effects are nasty. It took us a few months to get a dosage that was working for me. When we did, it was like the most extreme ends of the emotional spectrum were gone. On one hand, I wasn’t misrable or feeling unable or unwilling to exist, which was good, but on the other hand, I felt like I could not cry. For more than a year, I didn’t cry once, and usually, I’m quite the crier LOL. On the opposite side of the spectrum, it felt like my ability to be excited was capped at 75%. When I was eventually coming off the drugs, it was so uncomfotable. I used to get brain zaps for two months, which are actually a common side effect.

    Kim, Female, 21

    I’ve always know that I’ve struggled with depression but I was offically diagnosed a few months ago. I had to go get help when I knew I was in a bad place. I mean, I was cutting and constantly abusing myself. I was very close to ending it all. I just knew that if I didn’t get help, I was going to kill myself. Thankfully, a friend I had just met made me see that help wasn’t so hard to get.

    When I first started medicating, it wasn’t all calm o. In fact, I started feeling more depressed. I even felt like overdosing on the drugs before I realised that the hospital actually gave me just enough for a short period and it wasn’t enough to overdose on. After a week or so, I started feeling better. I can only describe it as suddenly feeling tranquil. There used to be a constant raging storm in my head but gradually, it began to calm. I started feeling more sane and I could think more clearly. I just felt like I was alive once again. However, I’m scared that I might have to live my life taking these drugs. One time, I forgot to use my meds and I could feel myself slipping again. It was scary.

    Overall, it was the best decision I ever made. I was on the edge, losing so much of myself. The drugs are helping. They aren’t the ultimate fix but it’s a great start. Super happy I had my friend who made sure I got the help I really needed.

    Sadiq, Male, 26

    The anxiety became crippling and consuming. It became too much. Every second of the day, I was anxious; too anxious to pick my calls, doubly anxious if someone yelled my name. I knew it was too much to bear when, one day, someone was being yelled at beside and I instantly coiled up. People thought I used to sleep late because I wanted to, but the real reason was I was always too anxious at night.

    Considering the country we’re in, the process of getting a diagnosis and medication was surprisingly easy. I spoke to a friend who already went through the process and he put me on to Yaba Neuro-psychiatric Hospital, popularly known as Yaba Left. I grew up hearing wild stories about it and I was worried for a but it went smoothly and the doctors were super nice.

    My experience with medication has been fairly good. I’ve been sleeping well and I honestly didn’t know I could live like this. At first, I had side effects like low libido. All of a sudden, it skyrocketed. In fact, someone I was sleeping with at the time thought I was a monster because I kept going without an orgasm. She didn’t know I wanted to but just couldn’t. Thankfully, it’s back to normal now.  Overall, I’ve seen great improvements in my interactions with people and my quality of life has shot up immensely.

    Sarah, Female, 25

    Mentally, I felt overwhelmed, like there were invisible hands around my neck choking me, and not in a fun way.  I felt like a burden on people, like I dampened everything; conversations, fun etc. Everything was paradoxically underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time.

    A friend talked me into getting help a few days ago and I was prescribed some medication by a psychiatric hospital in Ibadan. Although I’ve only been medicating for a few days, I’ve seen some changes already. I don’t shake as much as I used to, I’m a lot less jumpy. I feel more clear-headed and organised. It’s not like the drugs don’t have side effects; I’ve not had any appetite since yesterday and the night-time drugs made me feel drowsy initially, and I was also horny in a weird way. Still, the benefits outweigh the negatives for me and I’m glad I got help. 

    Zikoko cares about your mental health. Reach out to non-profits such as MentallyAware Nigeria here to talk to a mental health professional today. You could also call their emergency line on 08091116264 or follow @MentallyAwareNG on Twitter.

    Read: 4 Nigerian Men Talk About Their Struggles With Depression

    [donation]

    Olufemi Fadahunsi

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  • I Spend More Time Waiting To See A Doctor Than I Spend In Traffic — A Week In The Life Of A Sales Rep

    “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.

    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a pharmacist and a medical sales rep. He talks about some of the challenges he faces in his line of work, feeling overqualified for his role, and his plans for retirement.

    MONDAY:

    I wake up by 7 a.m. every day to listen to the news on the radio. I have two shows that I listen to by 7 a.m. and 7:30 a.m. These shows keep me abreast of the latest developments in the country, and they also allow me to monitor the direction the country is headed. If I’m on the road early, I listen to the radio in my car. If I’m at home, I listen online. After I’m done with the shows, my day usually begins. 

    Today is a weird day for me. I can’t go to work because my car is getting fixed at the mechanic. A typical work day involves a virtual meeting with my team in the morning followed by more meetings with doctors later in the day. In the evening, I’ll go to pharmacies to tell them about some of the products my company stocks. Many times, because my market territory is on the island and I live on the mainland, I’ll go to a nice restaurant to wait out the traffic. I’m a fan of seafood, so I usually order calamari or seafood spaghetti with a very cold glass of Heineken to wash it down. 

    But there will be none of all that today. Today is dedicated to my mechanic. 

    TUESDAY:

    I feel like I’m overqualified for my role as a sales rep. There’s so much more I have to offer, but it’s difficult to show this because my time doesn’t even belong to me. The hardest part of my job is the waiting time before I see a doctor. I might wait for 3 hours just to have a 10 mins conversation with them. When you add Lagos traffic plus the fact that I have a certain number of doctors to see per day, it’s difficult not to work weekends if I really want to get the job done. It’s annoying when I drive down from the mainland to the island and the doctor is not there because it means I’ve wasted a certain number of hours on travel time. The truth is that I spend more time waiting to see a doctor than I spend in traffic.

    But being a sales rep has good parts too. Like coming to an agreement with a doctor who sees the benefits of my drug and starts prescribing it. Another thing that makes me happy is when I hold a wonderful presentation. I know that some people only attend because of free food, but I’m not bothered because they are not my target audience. Most times I’m usually just trying to get one or two key players to sit down in the room, so every other person coming for food is just collateral damage.

    At the back of my mind, I know that this is not a job I can do for a long time. I’m working as a rep because I plan to build a career in branding and marketing later in life, and this is part of the process. I’ve given myself a timeline of one year to move on from the role, and I’ve also been taking relevant marketing courses to help me with the switch. 

    I’m doing all this so I can retire when I’m 45 years old, play golf before my hair turns grey and just listen to my radio. 

    WEDNESDAY:

    Being a good sales rep is about selling yourself — you should be able to sell a product as well as your personal brand. Before anyone decides to use your product, they have to trust the information you’ve given them and that’s by trusting what they see. Nobody looks good and sells an inferior product. Sometimes I see reps from big companies and I wonder why they don’t look the part. Even if you enter a big company without looking the part, the moment you start to interact with colleagues and prescribers there should be a noticeable change in your appearance. People treat you how you treat yourself. 

    Successful reps should also be able to network because the good jobs come based on referrals. It’s usually just someone seeing you and saying you’ll make a good sales rep. My motto is simple: you have to look the part to act the part. Then there’s also the grace of God and the function of time because there’s only so much you can do.

    Speaking of things I can do, I’ve been thinking of getting a driver lately. These last few days without driving have been blissful but now that my car is back, the grind continues. With a driver, I’ll be able to get a few hours of sleep in the car so I wouldn’t have to sleep for long at night. I can still get home and do my course or read a book instead of sleeping for another 6 – 8 hours. I don’t think I should be sleeping this much If I plan to retire at 45.

    THURSDAY:

    I got pulled over by the police today. Something annoying that policemen do when they stop sales rep is to ask for antimalarials and other drugs. Not every rep carries medicines. Some of us only detail the benefits to the prescribers. Another time, I was coming home around 11 pm after waiting out traffic and a car was chasing me behind with speed. In my mind, I was like who’s this action man and what’s the person driving? The next thing I noticed a torchlight by my side and apparently it was SARS. One of them immediately cocked his gun and I had to tell him “oga, it has not come to this.” After searching my boot, they started asking me questions about my age and trying to match it to the car I was driving [sales reps usually drive the latest car models]. After a while they let me go. I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. I just wonder what would have happened if I had panicked and ran because I thought they were armed robbers. I guess that’s just a typical day in the life of anybody trying to earn an honest living in Lagos. 

    FRIDAY:

    There are so many misconceptions about being a rep in Nigeria. Some people believe that the work is chilling and there’s no stress. Other people believe that we disturb our clients which are usually doctors and pharmacists. I think that if you’re with the right person, they won’t see it as a disturbance. And if they do, you’re doing something wrong because it’s supposed to be a value system where I’m adding or exchanging knowledge with my clients. 

    It’s also funny when customers always believe that I’m trying to make a sale when many times I’m more invested in the customer journey. The first time I meet someone, I’m not trying to sell because at that point, I’m still trying to figure out their needs. 

    The job can be rigorous. I’ve heard cases of bribes and cutting corners to meet revenue targets but my company doesn’t allow any of that. We’re mandated to play by the book so it can also be frustrating when people think all reps are the same. You’ll hear that people are dating clients of the opposite sex just to get business advantage. Some even go as far as dating key people in several hospitals, and I keep asking: “to what end?”

    My advice to anyone trying to become a rep is to be patient before joining a company, study their culture well and learn about their deductibles before joining. After they’ve removed money for the car, tab, etc, what’s left at the end of the month? Don’t play yourself. Also, when starting relationships with your clients, know the kind of relationship you want out of the interactions and establish clear boundaries. Don’t go about starting things that you can’t finish. 

    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.

    [donation]

    Hassan Yahaya

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  • 5 Students, 1 Question: Why Did You Start Taking Drugs?

    What does life look like for Gen Z Nigerians everywhere in the world? Every Friday, we ask five Gen Z Nigerian students one question in order to understand their outlook of life. 

    We recently wrote an article about some Nigerians struggle with drug addiction, so we decided to ask five students why they started using drugs in the first place.

    Here is what they said:

    Kunle; 19/UniLag

    We all complain of how this world is bad, so when I am offered a first class ticket out of it, I take it. Some people might say I have a problem. I smoke at least 2 blunts a day during weekdays, and the pills during the weekend. Like how people with Cancer take drugs till they get better, I take mine till inside my head stops hurting me.

    Vanessa; 21/OAU

    I just did? One day I was hanging out with my friends and one of them mentioned it. It not like I was pressured or anything, but I wanted to know what it felt like to be high. I don’t think I am addicted.

    Hamzat; 20/American University of Nigeria, Yola

    I started smoking because I was very bored with life. I felt empty and unimpressed with everything, and because I was supposed to be a Muslim and alcohol is a sin, the green stuff is an exception.

    Kola; 18/UniLag

    It started off as something for fun, and slowly I found myself dependent on it. I can’t eat, sleep or function without weed. I started therapy for it.

    Samantha; 21/University of Port Harcourt

    I am a suicidal adrenaline junkie. I’d never do anything to put another person’s life in danger, but mine? Anything that works. Pills allow me go so close to the edge without actually slipping. It’s the perfect thing. LSD and ecstasy are my favourite. Am I addicted? Maybe. I tried cocaine once, but I didn’t really like it.

    For more on Gen-Z culture, click here

    Itohan Esekheigbe

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  • 5 Nigerians Talk About Their Battles With Drug Addiction

    Addiction, sometimes can be a three-headed hydra. Sever one head and two grow in its place. I’m writing this in the hopes that people who struggle with their addiction will read this and realise that they are not alone. I’m hoping the people whose responses thousands are going to read will realise how much impact their stories will have on others and that it further bolsters their resolve not to relapse.

    I spoke to five brave people at various stages of their journey to recovery. We had some eye-opening conversations about drug addiction.

    Edet, 30

    Weed. I’m still in denial that I was addicted to it. I haven’t smoked in five months but I’ve been craving it intensely over the past month. I’m also realising just how much of my personality I had sacrificed for it. I became dependent on it. I thought I was powerful with it, I thought I was more creative with it.

    I was taking out payday loans just so I could buy weed. I almost didn’t attend a friend’s wedding as a groomsman because I had spent all my money on weed instead of sewing the trad. I also believe it played a part in the demise of my last relationship; she was getting scared of me, she broke it off. I’m always shy to talk about this because marijuana use is so normalised and there’s a narrative that it isn’t addictive or it’s a light drug, not a “real” one like heroin, crack, meth, etc.

    In the five months that I haven’t smoked, I’ve saved money. I’ve never had savings before. I’m investing money in US real estate, stocks, and bitcoin. I told myself that anytime I got a craving, I’d invest the money instead. I look back in regret at some of the years that I smoked. I’m envious of people that can smoke regularly and live a normal life; I’m still struggling to accept that that isn’t for me. 

    I’m having to rediscover who I really am without weed but I’m not sure if I’ll never smoke again. In the short to medium term (now to the next 3-5 years or so) however, I don’t think it’s a good idea for me.  

    Baker, 26

    I’ve been smoking non-stop since 2012, except for two 6-month periods that my parents committed me to rehab. In my final year in uni, I had a mental breakdown. I had mixed weed, codeine and alcohol. My parents had to come pick me from school. I was in a hospital for two weeks and after that, they committed me to a rehab. The rehab was more like a psychiatric hospital. They housed the addicts and mental patients in the same place. 

    I went to rehab a second time when my parents caught me smoking again. They were afraid I would have another mental breakdown. So a second stint at rehab for another six months. No phones were allowed in rehab but I managed to use my influence to keep my phone.

    As I’m speaking with you right now, I’m smoking. I don’t plan on quitting weed completely. There are very few things I enjoy in life and this is one of them.  I’ve reduced my codeine intake though because it is not healthy. 

    Priscilla, 30

    I had an addiction to alcohol. I started drinking when I was 10. My mum sold Chelsea Dry Gin and Squadron. I’d sneak out the bottle, hide it and drink it in small sips at various times till it was empty. The day I fully became an alcoholic was when I gulped half a bottle at once. I can’t remember the rest of that day.

    I enjoyed the burn when the gin hit my gut. When I turned 12, my mother stopped selling the drinks. So I started stealing her money to buy alcohol. I quit when I turned 13 and didn’t touch alcohol ever again. This happened because I started spending time with my dad, who’s also an alcoholic. Although Warri in the late 90s was full of other alcoholics, seeing someone close to me so dependent on alcohol broke me. I’ve been told I look like my dad, so I was afraid I’d grow up to become like him.

    I participated in a church program and opted to give up alcohol. It was difficult at first, but with time it became easier. Even when I stopped being religious, I didn’t drink. Today, I can pass by the alcohol aisle in supermarkets and not be bothered. I’m just lucky I quit when I was young.

    Victor, 26

    I’ve been clean for four months after quitting an 8-year drug addiction to marijuana. I smoked practically every day. I smoked through uni and NYSC. If I travelled to a new city, I would locate a dealer within an hour. I dabbled in other substances like pills, crack, coke and codeine but I hardly ever enjoyed them so I stuck with using different strains of weed. 

    In 2019, I was involved in a terrible accident. I sustained a head trauma that injured my brain. After I recovered, I continued smoking. One day during the lockdown, I started feeling tremors in my head and torso. A neurologist told me that the injury had probably flared up again but the truth is I was smoking a whole lot more during the lockdown. 

    I had been looking for a reason to quit drugs. That was it for me. I went cold turkey on the 7th of May. At first, I had severe withdrawal symptoms; lack of appetite, anxiety attacks and I couldn’t sleep. I’ve been on medication for the brain injury and to help with the withdrawal. I really love(d) cannabis but I had to realise that my life is more important.  No more smoking for me. It also helps that I have friends and family who act as accountability partners. They have been really supportive and don’t judge me when I tell them I’m craving; just words of support and prayers. 

    Chi, 26

    I’ve been smoking on and off for 8 years. I had my first joint in 2011 when I was 16 and I loved it. I loved it so much that I’d go visit the guys so I could smoke. It was all fun and games until 2014 when  I couldn’t eat or sleep without it. I was fighting a lot of inner demons and marijuana was the only thing that helped. It affected my studies and relationships but I didn’t care, as long as I was high. And I was always high.

    I didn’t admit I had a problem until I was in law school. I smoked Colorado and I fell off a bike into a small river, and I can’t swim. At this point, I knew I couldn’t continue like this so I called my mum and we went to the University College Hospital (UCH) for rehabilitation. That was the first time I went to rehab. I was sober for six months but I fell off the wagon during NYSC, so I went back to UCH for two months of rehab. 

    It didn’t work. I relapsed two weeks later. Subsequently, I went to rehab thrice in two years. I blamed everybody but myself for my addiction. I had to face myself and accept the consequences of my actions. Now, I’ve not quit. I’ve just changed my narrative about it. I still smoke, but I don’t let it control me. It doesn’t drive me anymore and I only smoke when I want to. I haven’t smoked in the last two months but I’m going to find some time to smoke soon. Marijuana itself isn’t evil. People just tend to abuse it. I’ve decided to make better use of my present.

    Read: The 30-Year-Old Navigating An Open Marriage

    One year ago, we left Nigeria for an 80-day adventure across West Africa. Something is coming. Unshared stories. New perspectives. Limited series. 10 episodes. Jollofroad.com

    Olufemi Fadahunsi

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  • 5 Things Every Nigerian Swore They Wouldn’t Do As A Child

    Remember watching Nollywood movies, seeing a smoker and going “God please I never want to be that person”. How’s that working out for you now? Let’s remind you of some of the other things you promised you would never do.

    1. Drinking

    If they ever mentioned you and alcohol in the same sentence you would probably start begin to shake and snap your fingers over your head, saying “I reject it”. Now look at you. Drunkard.

    2. Doing drugs

    After watching Nollywood movies, everyone who smoked or did drugs was definitely a murderer or a cultist. If someone started smoking around you as a kid you would just assume they were armed robbers getting high, and ready to attack someone at night. Now look at you. Chimney.

    3. Fornicating

    How could people even think about sex, talk less of having it. SEX!! S*X!! Eww. Now look at you. Of lay lay lay (of Lagos)

    4. Clubbing

    Everyone that went to the club was the devil, whether they knew it or not. How can you gather and begin to smoke, drink and dance to the devil’s music? Now, look at you. LMFAO

    5. Scamming your parents

    Did you ever think you would tell your dad that you needed 12k for a textbook? Neither did I. But look at you. Hushpuppi.

    David Odunlami

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  • QUIZ: If You Can Pass This Random Drug Quiz, We’ll Only Be A Little Suspicious

    So, tomorrow is the International Day Against Drug Against Illicit Trafficking. And to mark that event, we’ve decided to test your drug IQ. Remember, it’s all fun and games. We’re not judging anyone.

    Astor George

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  • A Week In The Life Of A Sex Worker

    “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.

    Today’s subject is *Yemi, a 27-year old sex worker who tells us how sex work has affected her outlook on life.

    Trigger warning: Strong content of drug use and rape ahead.

    sex worker

    MONDAY:

    Today, I wake up around 10 am. I stay indoors and gist with some of my friends in the compound. After a while, I go inside my room to reply to someone who has sent me a text on e-message to link up. I try to be careful when meeting people off apps; I make sure that we are clear on the terms and conditions before meeting physically. I tell them what I can do and what I can’t do. This person wants me to come today. I can’t because I am going to the club with some of my friends.

    I reply that I will be available on Thursday and go off to make arrangements with my friends for our clubbing tonight.

    We order a taxi and leave by 9 pm. One of my friends looks worried and I ask her what’s wrong. She says that our usual plug to enter the club for free is not picking his calls and she’s wondering whether we should turn back or not, to avoid embarrassment. I tell her we can’t turn back after spending taxi money. Even if I don’t see anyone to say hi to, I am taking myself out to have fun.

    At the club, I tell my friends to wait in the car while I walk up to the front of the club as confidently as I can. On my way inside, one of the bouncers stops me and asks “were you inside?” Before I can  reply, another bouncer comes out and says “no, no, that madam was inside before.” I add “yes, I was inside.” He allows me in.

    A few minutes later, I come back out to tell the bouncers that some of my friends just called and I am going outside to pick them. I tell them that I am informing them so they won’t ask me if I was inside before now. I add that when I am coming back with my girls, they should not ask if I was inside before so I don’t get annoyed.

     I am going to have a turnt night, I can feel it.

    TUESDAY:

    I think dog meat is an aphrodisiac. Ever since I ate dog meat on my trip to Akwa-Ibom, along with Afang, Atama, and many different kinds of leaves that we don’t eat in Lagos, my libido has skyrocketed. I have experienced an increase in ability and capability. I need to conduct research into what is in their food because everyone in that town likes sex. I am dreaming about my tall Akwa-Ibom client with his long chunky dick and mouth that made me scream and wake the entire compound. This guy fucked me with so many styles that nobody has been able to satisfy me like that since I got back to Lagos. He really dealt with me.

    I guess I am thinking about him because I don’t want to sleep alone tonight. I am an orphan;  I have always been scared of sleeping alone. I’m afraid that if I sleep alone at night, my parents’ ghost will appear. To prevent that, someone always sleeps over at my place. 

    I call up someone that is on my case. He buys me lunch regularly, gives me daily money, and is helping me look for a job. My friends say that if I want to collect a substantial amount of money and help from him, I should give him sex. He’s not my type,  but I need the constant inflow of his money pending when I can get something better.

    He comes over and we have sex, but I don’t kiss him. I can’t bring myself to kiss him. He irritates every single portion of my body. The sex is bad because he has a small dick, like the last finger. After that kind of sex, he has the audacity to ask me to marry him. He says he wants to make this serious because he’s also an orphan and he doesn’t have anyone in the world.

    What’s all this stress? I miss my long, good dick…

    WEDNESDAY:

    I start the day by getting high. I take a large amount of Tramadol because I can’t face the task ahead of me today without using drugs. I have a client based in Canada that challenges me to do certain tasks and record myself while at it. After I send a video, he pays me between $30-45. To be able to record myself doing this, I have to get fucked up.

    Today’s challenge is a threesome. He wants two girls and a guy so I reached out to two of my friends and they agreed to do it. Before recording, everyone is high so it’s easy for us to go all out without holding back. I am sure I look stupid in the video but I don’t think about it too much.

    After we are done, I send him the video and I receive the payment. I am sure the bastard uses it to come. I share the money with the girl and the boy asks for his own share, but I ask him why he needs payment seeing as he just enjoyed fucking two women for free. What other payment does he need after this kind of enjoyment? He doesn’t bring it up again.

    In the evening, I text the client to say I will no longer be doing videos for him. These videos are very risky and one day, he can wake up and decide to blackmail me by leaking them. Who will I report to? The money is not worth the risk abeg.

    THURSDAY:

    I am meeting up with the person from e-message today. He asked me to bring a friend along. It turns out that my friend knows him and she keeps going on about how rich he is and how big his house is. I am excited.

    We get there and the first thing he offers us is Baileys. I smile in anticipation of how much he is going to give us when we are leaving. He introduces us to his friends who then offer me Tramadol and my friend Swiphnol because my friend doesn’t take Tramadol. Colorado comes next and by now, all of us are sufficiently fucked.

    sex worker

    There are four men and two women in the house. The four men take turns having sex with both of us. I fall asleep when we’re done.

    My friend wakes me so we can leave. We thank our hosts for their hospitality and sort the fees. I am excited by how much money I will make; drugs increase my performance and endurance, so I know I gave them a memorable fuck.

    The hosts thank us and give us N5,000. My body is cold. They promise to send more that they are experiencing bank issues, but I know that’s a lie. From past experience, I know the money will never come. But who do we want to report to? We thank them and leave but I am angry inside. I must start a business and leave this job; I can’t keep being at the mercy of people.

    FRIDAY:

    See, I am tired of all of this rubbish so I am going to give someone my CV today to help with a job. He’s the son of a popular politician. My friend says he can help. We have been chatting for a while. Today, I text him and he asks me to bring my CV for a possible job.

    I get to his estate and someone comes to pick me at the gate.  Everything looks so shiny. I enter the house and wait for him. He comes in and the first thing he does is pause. I know why he’s pausing. I know why they all pause. I am busty and my breast is the first thing anyone notices about me, but I just shrug it off. He collects the CV and goes upstairs for a bit.

    He comes back down and doesn’t say a word, he just pulls me closer. He bends me over and does a doggy in the sitting room. I am shocked by the sudden turn of events to react because he didn’t even tell me he wanted to have sex. After he is done, he counts N20,000 and gives me.

    I feel so stupid and angry at myself on my way home. I keep wondering what kind of job my friend told him I needed. I am also angry because some naive part of me is holding out hope that since we have had something together, maybe he will consider me for a real job.

    SATURDAY:

    My period starts today so this means I get to rest. I make sure I take three full days off. I don’t have sex with anyone when I am on my period.

    I find period sex dirty unless my partner wants it. That is if I am in a relationship. If it’s someone random, I can’t.

    The first boyfriend I ever had, the one that disvirgined me, used to ask for sex on my period and I used to give him. He was nice and gave me money to get by because money was tough for me. 

    After my parents died, I grew up with my grandparents. There was only so much they could provide because they were retired so it’s sad it didn’t work out because after that relationship ended, I knew I couldn’t go back to not having money. Since it was difficult to get a part-time job around my area, I had to use sex as my side hustle to get by.

    I don’t see myself in a relationship anytime soon because I don’t trust men. From what I have seen, it’s only sex men want. So, I use them as a stepping stone to achieving my dream – which is to start a big business and not be dependent on anyone. So, even if it’s an inch that any man gives to help me achieve my dreams, I will take it. At least he has helped me.

    Any guy I meet, I know tomorrow they will misbehave. Is it not sex they want? Take the sex and be on your way but let me collect what I can collect first.

    SUNDAY:

    There’s no church today because of Coronavirus. I believe in God oh, but I don’t go to church frequently. I don’t go on the days that I am broke because when it’s time to drop offering, I won’t be able to drop anything. I don’t like it. I feel that for God to have saved my life for another week and I can’t drop common “Thank you Jesus”, it’s bad. That’s my personal conviction and not something someone told me. I just don’t like it.

    Also, I have never paid tithes before and that’s not good. I don’t know how to calculate tithes because I have never had a steady source of income. Is it when I get N5,000 here and there that I will remove money for tithes? When I have so many things I want to use the money for. The most money I have ever had before in my life at once is N50,000 and I used it for rent. I know it’s not good but God sef understand say I dey hustle.

    Since there is no church today, I am going to smoke kush and blend it with cigarettes. I am having my own service; service of smoking. At least when I am high, I don’t think about my life.

    *Name changed to protect identity. Some of part of this interview was left unedited to preserve the authenticity of the words of the subject.

    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life Of” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, don’t hesitate to reach out. Reach out to me: hassan@bigcabal.com if you want to be featured on this series.


    Hassan Yahaya

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