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Donald Trump | Zikoko!
  • If You Are Tired Of Americans Shouting, This Is For You

    1. Since Trump became President, Americans have not allowed the rest of the world hear word.

    2. Everyday one palaver after another.

    3. Are they the first?

    4. Today they say he wants to ban everybody.

    5. Tomorrow, it’s that he wants to use his office to make money.

    6. So are they too good to manage corruption and incompetence?

    7. The rest of us around the world doing it, do we have two heads?

    8. Then they started complaining that Russia interfered in their election.

    9. But hasn’t America been interfering in all the elections in the third world since 19whatever?

    10. Did we die?

    11. Okay many people died, but we are still here!

    12. But wait, did they not vote for the Trump man?

    13. So what’s all this crying and shouting?

    14. This is all of us, laughing at the fact the we don’t have the monopoly on bad and nonsense leadership.

    15. Welcome to the club, America!

  • These Are The Donald Trump Headlines We Should All Brace Up For In 2017

    Now that controversial presidential candidate, Donald Trump, is President of the USA, we can definitely expect hundreds of shocking news stories. These are some of them:

    1. “Donald Trump Deports All Nigerians, Also Dumps Unidentified Africans In Nigeria”

    2. “Donald Trump Says Theresa May Needs To Visit A Salon, And Leave The Work To Real Men”

    3. “Donald Trump Attends Kanye West’s Concert, Raps On Stage With Him”

    4. “Donald Trump Repaints The White House To Gold, Renames It Trump Towers 2”

    5. “Donald Trump Packs His Hair In Shuku, Says He Gets Inspiration From Justin Bieber”

    6. “Donald Trump Announces Ivanka Trump As His First Lady, Says She’ll Take Over Leading The USA After Him”

    7. “Donald Trump Builds A Wall Round Mexico, Sends Bill To Mexico”

    8. “President Trump Makes Melania Trump His Chief Bullying And Trolling Officer”

    9. “President Trump Announces Everything Was Just A Prank, Says Hilary Clinton Is Real President”

    LOL WE WISH!!!
  • Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Dragged A Donald Trump Supporter But Nigerians Are Angry At Her

    The shocking results of the US elections has sparked several conversations all over the world which would’ve been incomplete without our very own Chimamanda’s voice.

    In an interview with BBC, Chimamanda schooled Emmett Tyrrell Jr, founder and editor of The American Spectator, who blatantly refused to acknowledge Donald Trump’s racist comments during his electoral campaign.

    She basically said, a white person cannot define what racism stands for- which is only right, considering that fact that racism in America was created and perpetuated by white people.

    But Nigerians are just angry about her statement sha.

    https://twitter.com/OgbeniDipo/status/797423037788422144

    When you’re trying to be woke, but sleep is lowkey catching you.

    https://twitter.com/SomiEkhasomhi/status/797352120693522432

    This hater that was speaking plenty oyinbo.

    https://twitter.com/Thatyorubachic/status/797421426512904193

    This person that needs to read the textbook definition of racism.

    And this person that doesn’t even know the actual meaning of prejudice.

    https://twitter.com/akintonmide/status/797355380577812481

    Apparently, shutting down a racist is now a crime in Nigeria.

    This person that was just too pained by Chimamanda’s awesomeness and greatness.

    For the people that still don’t understand, maybe this little lesson on racism will help sha. Don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comments section.
  • 6 Reasons We Are So Glad The US Elections Are Finally Over

    1. America voted Donald Trump as president and we can finally hear word.

    They’ve been campaigning since forever!

    2. Our Twitter will no longer be flooded with wahala Americans campaigning upandan!

    They have carried their wahala away.

    3. And let’s not forget the Nigerians that have been acting like they’re election experts!

    All the pastors and imams that can see things all the way from here to America.

    4. Please, what is this?

    5. Thank God we don’t have to deal with dry jokes like this anymore:

    6. And we can finally rest from Trump and Hilary roasting each other.

  • Now That Hilary Clinton Lost The Elections, Nigerians Are Dragging TB Joshua For His Prophecy

    In the heat of the just-concluded US elections, controversial Nigerian pastor, TB Joshua, claimed to see a

    But while we all hoped this prophecy would for once come to pass, the universe dealt us all a big fat ela.

    1. And Nigerians are dragging TB Joshua for his predictions.

    2. Even politicians are chooking mouth in the matter.

    https://twitter.com/JimohIbrahimOFR/status/796314043174842368

    3. Is TB Joshua a spiritual armed robber?

    4. Maybe the vision wasn’t clear sha.

    https://twitter.com/TheOnlyIBK/status/796304162040397824

    5. When Nigerians in America catch TB Joshua.

    https://twitter.com/DONHALOGEN/status/796256712466440192

    6. Maybe we didn’t hear him clearly sha.

    7. At least he’s sha good at something.

    https://twitter.com/MisturrSam/status/796242496598769664

    8. Abi was it God that gave TB Joshua ela?

    9. Perhaps the prophecy made Hilary lose the election.

  • 15 Reasons 2016 Needs To Come and Start Going

    1. Donald Trump is president of the United States of America.

    WHAT THA FUCK, AMERICA?

    2. The Naira is basically dead and we shall now proceed to bury it.

    Village people will not allow it to rest.

    3. We lost two brilliant actresses: Bukky Ajayi and Henrietta Kosoko.

    Sigh. God rest their souls.

    4. Brexit: Britain voted to exit the European Union.

    You didn’t even know that was possible.

    5. Man United has been the biggest loser of the year.

    After America, of course.

    6. President Buhari gave us international embarrasment.

    We’re done. Just done.

    7. 2016 gave us Suicide Squad.

    And what trash that was.

    8. Little Omar Daqneesh broke our hearts.

    And worse things continue in Syria.

    9. July of this year was the hottest in history.

    Don’t argue, it happened. We all used our sweat to bathe.

    10. Mr Penguin came home to find his wife was now with another man.

    Everyone has seen the heartbreaking video.

    11. Lassa Fever was disturbing us.

    If it’s not ebola, it’s lassa.

    12. People are seeing new things.

    13. Samsung Note 7 phones have turned to explosives.

    Any small thing, na explosion!

    14. Even goats are losing home training this year.

    15. And clouds are doing formation in Israel.

    https://youtu.be/JCHsqSdMV-4
  • Nigerians React To The Outcome Of The US Elections

    Incase you don’t know (or currently living under a rock), the most controversial elections ever took place in the U.S on November 8, and shockingly, Donald Trump won the election!

    1. Being the most talked about election in 2016, Nigerians had a lot to say:

    2. Because FOREX is just a mess right now.

    3. Will Daddy Wole Soyinka tear his passport though?

    4. Somebody should go and pick our Daddy Wole from the airport please.

    5. Now that Trump has won, will people come back home now?

    6. Trevoh Noah might enter wahala for abusing Donald Trump throughout 2016.

    7. Instead of Nigerian politicians to seize this opportunity to change things around.

    8. We’ll kuku be hearing orisirisi IJGB accents this December.

    9. See this yeye person famzing Donald Trump.

    https://twitter.com/Ph_Obidon/status/796266403091382272

    10. This olodo person that doesn’t know they’re both British-Nigerian.

    https://twitter.com/Dammy_Osinowo/status/796266529881030656

    11. Instead of Nigerians to start firing prayer.

    https://twitter.com/Luvvie/status/796174474244739073

    12. Ater forming shakara for us, everybody should stay in their America o!

    https://twitter.com/Mr_kwabe/status/796197067244929024

    13. Ordinary rigging that people are doing for free in Nigeria o.

    https://twitter.com/The_Africanist/status/796246316074549249

    14. The wahala we’re facing with Daddy Bubu is enough sha.

    https://twitter.com/dhassie/status/796216810391605248

    15. Who doesn’t like good things abeg?

  • 12 Things Nigerians In America Need To Do Now That Donald Trump Is President

    In an unbelievable plot twist, controversial presidential candidate, Donald Trump, is now the president of the United States of America.  Part of his campaign promises was that he would put stiff anti- immigration laws in place. Brethren, it’s time to go home.

    1. First of all you need to start writing letters to your descendants and forefathers back home.

    https://twitter.com/iam_Raice/status/796219181645623296

    2. Secondly, start practicing traditional songs.

    https://twitter.com/AmBlujay/status/796225186643279872

    3. Pack all your things. Don’t leave a single thing out.

    4. Renew your visa and book your one way ticket. ONE WAY!

    5. Don’t worry too much about where to stay because there is plenty space. Africa is a country after all.

    6. Hug your friends and say your good byes.

    7. But if you are the stubborn type like this aunty:

    8. And you really want to stay back in America with Trump *cringe*.

    9. Then you better start bleaching your skin white so you can blend in.

    10. And delete all those social media posts where you’ve been running mouth and abusing President Trump.

    11. Mind you, you may still be deported after all this.

    12. But don’t say we didn’t try to help your case.

  • The U.S Presidential Debate Was Yesterday, And Of Course Nigerian Twitter Chooked Mouth

    The U.S Presidential Debate Was Yesterday, And Of Course Nigerian Twitter Chooked Mouth
    In case you just got back from Mars, the USA Presidential Debates kicked off at New York’s Hofstra University yesterday, and it was one tense moment! Republican candidate Donald Trump, who is widely known for his aggressive approach towards well, everything, was on the attack against Hilary Clinton, the Democratic candidate. Polls show Clinton is currently ahead of Trump, and financial markets are cheering her for the victory. Nigerians even stayed up to watch the show, and apparently, a few people took notes.

    1. First of all, we are very surprised Nigerians actually stayed up to watch the debate.

    2. This person was just awed at the technology that was used; should Nigerians look forward to this at the 2019 polls?

    https://twitter.com/farouqzaib/status/780604428613214208

    3. To be very honest, we need to demand more from political aspirants.

    https://twitter.com/Don_Kane/status/780656089767485440

    4. Even though we let the last Nigerian presidential debates slip, it really should not happen again.

    https://twitter.com/TillyTillie/status/780657562156994560

    5. This person was just here to drag Trump sha, even though we should be dragging the cheats in our own backyard.

    6. And one more person hates Donald Trump.

    7. It appears the US Presidential elections will set the tone for the polls in 2019.

    8. And all institutions must be ready to participate, even our universities.

    If you’ve not seen the Debate, let’s bless you with this.

  • On Today’s Episode Of ‘Everybody Hates Donald Trump’

    If you don’t know who Donald Trump is, we have no words for you. For those who do, you must be aware of all the controversy the U.S Republican presidential candidate has steered in the course of the elections campaign. His disturbing and unconventional suggestions in dealing with Islamic terrorism and the Migrant crisis facing 1st world countries have earned him biting criticism worldwide. These reactions to the billionaire businessman are more than hilarious.

    1. Little Miss Flint, Amariyanna ‘Mari’ Copeny met with President Obama in May, after penning a viral letter to him about the contamination of water sources in Flint, a city in Michigan.

    2. But look at Mari’s reaction when she met Donald Trump, who visited Flint as part of his campaign tour.

    3. Americans hilariously summed up Mari’s reactions on twitter, and of course dragged Donald Trump too.

    4. It appears it’s not only Democrats and Little Miss Flint that are scared of Trump, this eagle he used as a prop for an interview seems to want a piece of him too.

    5. But just look at calmly President Obama handled this photo session with another bald eagle.

    6. Even these babies could not seem to stand Trump, while he held them for photo ops at the republican rally in Colorado.

    7. But see our Uncle Barack here handling another set of babies like a PRO!

    8. Still wondering why people just don’t like Trump? Check out when he didn’t care about the lady beside him, versus Obama who braved the rain and left the umbrella for First Lady Michel.

  • Melania Trump Is The Latest Copy-Copy In Town And We Have Proof

    Melania Trump Is The Latest Copy-Copy In Town And We Have Proof
    Everyone in the world knows how interesting and lit the U.S presidential race is. And something even more interesting happened on July 18.

    During the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump’s wife, Melania, gave her first major public speech, and she slayed so hard!

    Well…until people realised her speech was similar to Michelle Obama’s speech at the Democratic National Convention of 2008.

    Can you imagine?

    Seriously, just look at this…

    People on Twitter have no chill, they’ve been dragging her for doing copy-copy.

    https://twitter.com/thacelebritea/status/755273422884573184

    When you’re writing a test and the teacher says “5 minutes left”.

    When you haven’t done your homework and it’s time to submit.

    When you’re writing your final exams and you can’t afford another carry-over.

    But she sha said she wrote the speech on her own, “with as little help as possible”.

    https://twitter.com/AlanKestrel750/status/755256379770806272

    When a copy-cat is trying to form originality.

    Did she think we won’t notice a whole Michelle Obama’s speech?

    Even though some people need serious cane for this kind of disgrace…

    Those of you that are copying our Zikoko posts and using them to shine shouldn’t chook mouth. We see you!

  • Donald Trump Has Done It! A Nigerian Was Thrown Out Of His Campaign Rally!

    Donald Trump Has Done It! A Nigerian Was Thrown Out Of His Campaign Rally!
    Everybody — well most people — knows that Donald Trump is bad news. And though he wasn’t taken seriously when he decided to run for president, the whole world is watching his campaign trails and rallies and debates with morbid fascination.

    He is anti-Muslim, anti-Black, anti-Latinos. In fact, he is anti-everything!

    The man is so dangerous that the possibility of his winning the U.S. presidential election is as big a threat to the global economy as Islamist terrorism, according to Global Forecasting Service.

    He’s against what America stands for, a country built with the sweat of immigrants.

    Even Trump’s ancestors are immigrants. His grandfather was born in Germany and came to New York as an immigrant. But it seems he’s forgotten that. Even his wives were not born in America.

    Trump’s rallies are known for his hate-filled speeches where he incentivizes his followers to be violent.

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    Trump vs. Obama: Dealing With Protesters
    Posted by BuzzFeed News on Monday, March 14, 2016 And he offers to pay for their legal fees. So it wasn’t surprising when this happened at his rally recently. But it hit close to home, because it happened to one of us. A Nigerian.

    Adedayo Adeniyi, a 20-year-old student at East Carolina University, attended Donald Trump’s rally in Fayetteville, North Carolina. out of curiosity.

    But he was randomly targeted and thrown out of the event by police, because he’s Black!

    The shocker happened as he was being escorted out of the event.

    A middle aged white man, looked him directly in the face and said, “F you” three times, right before slapping Adedayo hard in the face! This happened while he was being bundled out like a bag of beans.

    The gall. The effrontery.

    These are scary times, if this is happening in his rally, imagine what will happen if this man actually becomes president! That is enough to give anybody nightmares.

    We really hope that this man doesn’t become president, because if he does, this quote perfectly captures what will happen.

    We’re also sure that the population of people living in the African continent will definitely increase.

    [zkk_poll post=24352 poll=content_block_standard_format_12]
  • All The Times Donald Trump Spoke Like A True Nigerian Politician

    All The Times Donald Trump Spoke Like A True Nigerian Politician
    Donald Trump is one of the most controversial politicians in the world, notorious for making several eyebrow-raising comments like this:
    Are these comments ridiculous? Yes Do these comments sound strange?  Let’s find out.

    1. When Donald Trump mocked a journalist’s disability during a live broadcast.

    People’s struggles mean nothing to Trump and this hits really close to home. How? Adams Oshiomole, former NLC leader and governor of Edo state asked a widow to “Go and die” while she knelt and begged.

    2. When Trump said “Even if the world goes to hell in a hand basket, I won’t lose a penny.”

    This comment is so Nigerian, we can totally relate it to the Lamido of Adamawa’s outburst during the national conference of 2014. He said he would simply move to the Cameroun end of his kingdom if Nigeria ever breaks. Not so foreign now, abi?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gnzsm-f1MFo

    3. Donald Trump certainly brags like a Nigerian politician.

    Actually, he brags like a leader famous among Nigerians for making films of his ‘political achievements’. Yes, he is Rochas Okorocha and his comments were “Any day you hear that PDP brought money with pick-up, tell me so that I will bring money with trailer”.

    4. Donald Trump loves to fight dirty and very publicly.. just like politicians in our country.

    He is so Nigerian, he knows just how perfectly to bash people on social media. Just Like PDP spokeman and renowned lawyer, Femi Fani-Kayode, who openly called former governor, Rotimi Amaechi, a little monkey among other unfriendly names.
    https://www.facebook.com/femifanikayode/posts/10202589555849544

    5. When Trump blamed the victims of the Paris attack for not being armed.

    Rather than take responsibility for the badly planned NIS interview of 2014, Internal affairs minister, Abba Moro, blamed the victims for the stampede that resulted in loss of lives.

    6. When Donald Trump called Mexicans rapists and drug dealers.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6QEqoYgQxw
    We may not have racism but tribalism lives very well in Nigeria. Femi Fani-Kayode wrote an unapologetic, tribalist article in 2013 against the Igbos. Upon criticism of his article, he made a quick reference to his past relationship with Bianca Ojukwu.

    Donald has been nominated as the most African presidential candidate in the United States.

    We are sure he will represent and make for a typical Nigerian politician. We also nominate him as the most Nigerian presidential candidate of all.
  • Do Other Countries Have Their Own Ben Murray Bruce? Of Course They Do

    Do Other Countries Have Their Own Ben Murray Bruce? Of Course They Do

    When Nigerian senator and business man, Ben Murray Bruce tweets, you get the impression that it’s a joke. Like no one, absolutely no one, should ever tweet like this.

    We thought the Twitter account was a parody, but he has validated the account time and time again. So it’s okay, we have accepted him as our political cross.

    But we needed to know if other countries had their own Ben Murray Bruces’. Surely, we cannot be the only ones who breed them. Seriously, I’m asking on behalf of Nigerians. Of course they do. Every single country has it’s own rich, rude and politically incorrect businessman/political figure.

    And we found some of them:

    Donald Trump – USA

    Does he need any introduction? He’s running for President of the United States of America and his political career seems to combine three ugly things: the outsize role of money, the never-ending campaign season, and America’s embrace of reactionary celebrity figures. He frequently says things like:

    Silvio Berlusconi – Italy

    Berlusconi, like BMB, has an entrepreneurial spirit but is better known for his misdemeanors and ridiculous behavior.

    One time, he hid behind a monument and jumped out to scare German leader, Angela Merkel, shouting, ‘Coo-coo!’. She enjoyed it, Berlusconi later said.

    Clive Palmer – Australia

    The similarities between him and BMB go beyond headlines and money, he also has grand plans.

    While BMB has this:

     CIBh1QSUYAEWY-p

    Clive Palmer has plans to construct a replica of the Titanic. He wants to open his own ‘Jurassic Park.’ He has accused his political opponents of being funded by the CIA. He has called Chinese officials “mongrels” (and later apologized).

    Vladimir Zhirinovsky – Russia

    Vladimir Zhirinovsky, a loud-mouthed Russian politician, lacks the business credentials of BMB but his statements suggest that they are cut from the same cloth.

    For example, he suggests arming every single person in Russia so they can kill birds. He threatened to carpet-bomb Poland and the Baltic states, he bullies female journalists (ordered his aides to “rape” the reporter, then told her that pregnant women shouldn’t be working) and he also rode a donkey in a 2012 election video.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTyvTv4lsD4

    Some comparisons may not be fair, their faults and virtues may be different from Ben Murray Bruce’s but they are definitely toeing the same line.