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The next time artists have a score to settle with each other, instead of posting long, subliminal insults on social media or making diss tracks, they should try these more interesting, quicker methods.
Call first
Consider a call to iron things out in-house before doing your dirty laundry outside.
Pray like a warrior
Pray for the heart of your opp to be softened. Or copy Elijah and invite your opp to an open space then loudly pray, “Send down fire!” For this to work, you must be a child of God. If you’re not, see the next option.
Impersonate each other
If like Prettyboy D-O and OdumoduBlvck, comparison is the reason for your beef, this is for you. Swap lives for a day or two and adopt each other’s style. Go to each other’s studio sessions, attend each other’s shows and interviews. The best impersonator is the fraud because why can you impersonate your opp so effortlessly if you weren’t trying to be like them already?
Go on an ultimate search
The beefing artists should just embark on a treasure hunt to confirm who’s the winner of the beef.
“Verzuz”
Get fans from both sides in a large space, perform your best music and see who reigns supreme.
Mouth wash
Has it occured to you that the reason one person moves like they’ll punch their opp in the mouth is because someone’s talking actual shit? To settle scores, do an oral test. The person with the worst mouth odour loses the beef.
A dambe match
Fix a boxing match to knock out your beef in the Hausa martial art style. The man standing over the knocked-out guy wins the beef. We recommend the hard ground under Ojuelegba bridge as a suitable venue.
Source: Leadership News
“Old West” style
Invite your opp to the outskirts of town, then attach a revolver and holster to your waists. Play a song like Davido’s Fem, and as soon as it ends, whoever draws their gun quicker lives wins.
These last three weeks on social media, we’ve seen an interesting back-and-forth between Nigerian street-pop musicians, Seyi Vibez and Portable, with Zinoleesky somewhere in the mix.
In these episodes, they get into a dick-measuring contest about who has the better music, biggest cars, most money and street credibility. You know, the usual beef topics; but do you know how it all started?
What started the fight?
2023 started hard, and it wasn’t hard to tell people were too frustrated for drama. But not for Portable, who anytime he turns his camera to himself, chooses “chaos”. On January 30, 2023, he posted some video on his IG page where he subtly called Seyi Vibez a beta version of Asake.
Using Seyi’s Chance music video as a point of comparison, Portable pointed out that it was an obvious play on Asake’s style. He didn’t stop there. He went ahead and accused the video director, TG Omori (director of most Asake MVs) of working with a copycat, then warned artists to leave music alone if they can’t be authentic.
In the aftermath, fans began to air their views about Seyi Vibez, supporting Portable, and even started a “who is better (Seyi vs Asake)?” poll.
While Seyi Vibez was giving Portablebaby the silent treatment, he was getting into a battle of words with Zinoleesky. How did that start? In December 2022, Zino posted his new house and two cars on IG. In May 2023, Seyi posted his own new crib and two rides too, sparking a debate among their fans, about who’s the better and richer musician. Before we knew it, the two artists were throwing subs.
Zino went off first:
Seyi Vibez called Zino a chained Django. This is Seyi’s way of saying he’s independent and has all his creative control unlike Zino who’s under a contract has to get his boss’ approval first before releasing a song.
And even reminded Zino that he doesn’t have chart-topping projects like his debut album, Billion Dollar Baby, its deluxe version and EP, Memory Card.
Then it turned into a snippet war.
Zinoleesky drops new snippet to continue sparring with Seyi Vibez. ⤵️
Zino said he’ll never have a number one record — then Seyi Vibez got his number one record with his single, Hat-trick, surpassing Young John’s Aquafina, Asake and Olamide’s Amapiano, and particularly, Zinoleesky’s A1.
Then, he dropped his first album of 2023: Vibez Till Thy Kingdom Come.
Two weeks after, Seyi Vibez released his second album of the year, Thy Kingdom Come.
On Flakky, the eighth track off the second album, he opened by talking about an artist’s car being pushed on the street just three days after purchase:
“G-Wagon, Brabus B
Ojo keta ni won pada ti Brabus B”
You know who has a Brabus B (even though he calls it a G-Wagon)?
“Your whole career is a debt,” Portable fired back.
It’s been said that the only time Nigerians successfully unite is when it’s time to defend the country from others who try to make fun of it. That was what happened on the 3rd of May 2020 when Uganda and Ghana attacked in what will forever be known as…I’ll think of a name later.
Let’s just get into the funniest clapbacks!
Nigeria Vs Ghana
When this Nigerian struck a low blow by referencing the accent of Ghanaians.
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