Shhh, just take the quiz.
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Affirmations for the Nigerian Youth
As avid fans of the delusion propaganda, we’ve put together a couple of affirmations to help you shake off the blues.
I don’t actually occupy this space or body
My being might be working a 9-5, but my mind is poolside, sipping a margarita.
My life is rich and stress-free
My current account balance is an illusion; my real account balance is a distinction.
I’m a trust fund baby, so henceforth, I shall move as one
Money doesn’t move me, I move money.
Asake’s PBUY is my theme song
I’m an immovable force, and Olumo Rock has nothing on me.
I walk around draped in diamonds and pearls
My haters wish they could be me, but they can’t see me.
I’m in my yes era
Everything I desire, I acquire.
Running is not for me; chasing is not for me
I don’t chase anything. You’re the chaser, I’m the chasee.
My middle name is Gloria
I shine and glow through all three seasons.
This is my season
I ride on the wave of endless enjoyment.
My current reality is just a suggestion
My future reality exceeds my imagination.
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Ladies, It’s Time to Enter Your Delusional Girl Era
Being a delusional girl is choosing to ignore facts and remain in a reality you choose. When you enter your delusional era, you believe your wildest dreams are not only possible but normal. You should try it today, and here’s why.
Men do it, so why not?
Men are constantly told they have “audacity”, and that’s what allows them to apply for jobs they’re not qualified for and demand attention from women they don’t know. Why can’t we do the same?
Reality is hard
You’re a woman living on Earth, so odds are stacked against you. If you’re now poor or queer, it’s finished. Why then do you want to be stuck in this reality that contantly tries to frustrate you? Be delusional; escape into the part in your head where everything works for your good.
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It’s fun
Sometimes, alter your reality for shits and giggles. If you say you’re a princess, who’s going to check you?
What has being realistic done for you?
In all the years you’ve been realistic, what have you achieved? What has the realism actually done? Try a new approach to life and watch everything change.
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Heal your inner child
When you were younger, you had a wider imagination and actually believed in the impossible. Entering your delusional girl era connects you to that part of yourself. It’ll heal your inner child.
Extra motivation
If you’re convinced the universe exists simply to cater to your every need, and that everything works together for you, you’d be gingered to do the impossible. Why? Because the universe won’t let you down.
Improve your mental health
If you’re too busy altering your own reality, what time will you have to be depressed and anxious? The answer is none.
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