Dating is not for the fainthearted. Let us help your life. Take this quiz and we’ll give you the dating advice you need.
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Dating a k-drama fan is not as easy as you think. They’re obsessed with some of the most gorgeous people in the world, and you want to compete? Here are some cheat codes to help your case, don’t thank us too much.
Learn how to speak Korean
Hear me out. I’m not saying you should learn it all because that will take a while. Just remember some cute phrases here, a couple of popular expressions there, and you’re good to go. If you say, “sarangae,” to someone who watches k-drama and then do the finger heart, they will marry you.
RELATED: Every K-Drama Fan Should Know These Basic Korean Phrases
Look like their idol
Beg those babalawos in your Instagram DMs to change your looks. If they can’t help, perm your hair, comb it out, and pray to your ancestors. If everything else fails, maybe the thought will count.
Get into K-drama.
How do you think you’ll be able to have a conversation with them if you’ve never seen any k-drama? Even if you want to cheat in an exam, you will read small na. Also, don’t just watch the popular ones. Try watching the not-so-popular ones for extra points.
Always have an umbrella
You have to own an umbrella, and it has to be yellow. I promise it’s a thing. You never know when it’ll rain out of the blue, and you can hand your umbrella to them while you walk away, soaking wet. A for alaye; you’ll win Best in Romanzz. Buy your umbrella today.
Upgrade your fashion sense
I know Nigeria is hot, but you need to buy lots of coats, suits and white shirts. If you can’t look like their K-drama idol, you can at least dress the part. Plus, what’s the harm in having a good sense of style? It’s a good side attraction.
RELATED: How to Dress Like a K-Drama Character While Living in Nigeria
Invest in cartons of noodles
Suppose you have lots of cash to spare, you can even buy fancy Korean noodles and invite them over to try different noodle recipes. To seal the deal, take your person to a mai shai and eat the noodles in his shop.
Learn how to cook at least 10 side dishes
Now that you’ve mastered all these, you have reached the ultimate boss. Korean side dishes are easy to make, and the money you’ll spend on the ingredients will be worth it because it’s marriage straight once you hack it.
ALSO READ: Every K-Drama Fan Wants to Try These 7 Dishes
READ ALSO: Sunken Ships: Our Friendship Ended Because of My Childishness
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The dating scene Is a messy place and everyone has their spec. If you haven’t figured out what works for you, we’ve been generous enough to make a list.
1. People that have money
Money makes romance sweeter, to be honest. People will probably call you a gold-digger, but is it their gold you are digging? You better practice how to be a gold-digger today and stop suffering in silence. This is not Nollywood.
You should always be where the money resides boo 2. People that don’t have money
What they lack in funds they make-up for in creativity. Cute picnics, long walks, Netflix and chill, a compilation of funny memes, thoughtful gifts. These guys would spend if they had. Bear with them.
Especially the memes, that is very important 3. People that went to boarding school
Yes, they come with a sprinkle of trauma but they will try anything new with you. These people were unsupervised in their formative years, jumping fences and eating beans with a dash of beetles. They fear nothing.
You better be taking notes 4. Foodies
You’ll try every new restaurant that catches their fancy and can never complain that you’re hungry. When they walk into any restaurant the waiters are always happy to see them. Plus relationship weight = fat ass.
“My view, her view” pictures loading 5. People that wear crocs
These guys have hacked comfort clothes on another level. They have the softest hoodies and sweatpants just waiting for you to “borrow”. Date a crocs wearer today.
And that’s on good taste. Sponsored by crocs wearers association of Nigeria -
Nigerian women are the grandmasters of see-finish, and you must prevent this. The easiest way to do that is to date a short woman. But if you end up with a taller one or even a short one with gra-gra, this is how to avoid see-finish.
1. Never let her know your age.
The moment she knows it, everyone knows it. You’ll now pass and they will know you’re just 24. You with your big body. So, whenever she asks you, lie. Add 10 years to your age or 7. If she decides to break up, it’s her loss. Let her go and meet the small-small boys she can disrespect.
2. She must never call you “Big head.”
![WARNING: Don't view these 16 Odunlade Adekola memes in public or else...! [+Video where it all started]](https://viva-naija.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/unnamed-2.jpg)
Which useless big head? It’s her father’s head that is big. What nonsense. From “Big head,” she will start asking you to bring remote for her, and she will lose all respect for you. If she cannot you Boss, Senior Man, Oluaye Bambam, Baba Kofoshi, let her get out of your life.
3. Let her know that you don’t have time for rough play.
You see that tapping of bumbum, refuse it for her. If she ever dares to hit you with a pillow in the name of a pillow fight, tell her to kneel down, raise up her hands and close her eyes. Is she alright??
4. DO NOT COHABIT.
Did you hear what I said? Do not cohabit! Why are you even cohabiting in the first place? When it’s not BBNaija. It is from cohabiting that she will see what you look like in the morning, and also see how vulnerable you are in the middle of the night. You don’t believe me? Ask Ozo, let him tell you his story.
5. You must never let her see your nakedness.
Even during sex, be fully clothed. Once she sees your complete bulk, her view of you diminishes. Small time, she will say, “Who do you even think you are?” And that, my brother, is a sign that you have “cast.”
6. Never split the bill.
Either she pays or you don’t go out with her. It’s high time you recognised your self-worth before she insults you over a plate of seafood okro that does not have ponmo.
7. You must never moan during sex.
Ladies are dangerous. You moan like this, they know your weak point and will prepare to use it against you. So, even if her head game is fire, even if she is a wonder woman with a WAP, always do your mouth pim.
8. If you decide to marry her, let her bring her family to you.
Oh, you want to go to her family house and start prostrating? So that next time you people argue, she will say, “You kuku begged to marry me”? My guy, it is high time you understood your self-worth oh. Men are hot cakes. If she does not marry you, her younger sister will rush you.
You be spec, never forget that.
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Granted, dating is the most complicated adult game invented. Yes, there’s chess and 3D chess but trust me when it comes to unnecessarily confounding technicalities, plot twists and plot turns dating easily takes the lead.
Owing to this fact naturally people would seek dating advice from supposed experts and rule books. We understand that, but we also need you to know that as you take in advice there are 4 sources you should not consider.
1. Romantic Novels
Romantic novels are for teenagers who want to get unsupervised insight into adult romance. Not adults who need guidance on building a relationship. When you become an adult you realize that they are a scam. Every male protagonist is the same man with a different name and hair color. And the female protagonists are all the same with different hair and eye colors. So predictable.
2. Nollywood Movies
The world is moving on and becoming more progressive but Nollywood is still consistently and diligently dishes out story lines steeped in archaic gender profiles. If you’re going to date in 2020, you need references from a source whose source is not the 1800’s.
3. Hollywood Movies
Hollywood might be more socially advanced, but they are too dramatic. Love at first sight, one soulmate per person and the relationship arch where they almost break up but one last dramatic gesture saves the day only belong in movies. Best believe; real life hits differently, taking dating advice from hollywood would be a recipe for disaster.
4. Zee World
Hollywood might be dramatic but you see Zeeworld? The dictionary won’t tell you but they are the reason the word “dramatic” was coined. The overstating of the obvious, the needless slow motion breaks and the ridiculous story lines should be enough of a warning.
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