Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wordpress-seo domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/bcm/src/dev/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121
covid-19 | Zikoko!
  • Remember COVID? Nigerian Airports Are Saying Goodbye To Tests

    There’s some good news for you if you use Nigerian airports a lot. The Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority (NCAA) has reviewed the COVID-19 health guidelines for the aviation industry and lifted restrictions on face masks and mandatory testing for travellers.

    What’s the full gist?

    On December 12, 2022, the Presidential Steering Committee on COVID-19 made an announcement. President Muhammadu Buhari had approved the immediate relaxation of COVID-19 safety measures and travel advisory.

    In September, the World Health Organisation (WHO) had announced a global decline in COVID-19 infections. Between February and September, the number of weekly reported deaths dropped by more than 80%.

    The Nigerian government’s announcement means all aviation service providers for domestic and international operations must cancel the COVID-19 Polymerase Chain Reaction (PCR) test for all categories of passengers, regardless of whether they’re vaccinated or not.

    Face masks are no longer mandatory at airports, although the NCAA still advised that people aged 60 years and above, those whose immune systems are compromised and those with comorbidities should stick to safety measures, including avoiding large gatherings.

    What does this mean for travellers?

    No more do you have to go to the airport looking like a masked avenger. Most importantly, you can pocket the thousands of naira spent on compulsory COVID-19 tests and save it for Detty December

    It’s also good news for the aviation industry which hopes to rebound from the last couple of years in which restrictions seriously affected profit margins. It’s wins all round for those who want to japa, the IJGBs, and the airline operators. All in all, it’s a good note to close the year on.

  • I Don’t Want to Succumb to the Nigerian Definition of Masculinity — Man Like Demola Fashola
    What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. Man Like is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to “be a man” from the perspective of the subect of the week.

    The subject of this week’s Man Like is Demola Fashola, a former lawyer and tech bro who followed his passion to create the viral Anfàní fashion brand. He talks about how COVID pushed him to finally follow his dream, how growing up surrounded by women influenced his view on masculinity and why he doesn’t want to be a “strong” man. 

    When did you get your “I’m a man now” moment?

    I don’t think I’ve had just one moment. But even the different ones I’ve had were more about realising some things are just expected of me as a person. I don’t equate them to “coming into my own” as a man. 

    The COVID period of 2020 was one of those moments when I felt I needed to step up and ensure everyone around me was doing okay emotionally. I have a calming energy, so my version of being a man is stepping in to remind my family and friends to calm down when life gets chaotic. The lockdown was also a period for me to walk back and rediscover myself after years of listening to the noise around me. 

    Interesting. What was this rediscovery about? 

    I finally got to take charge of my life and trust myself with where I wanted to go with my career. I’ve always been a creative, and my earliest memories are of me sitting in front of a TV, watching commercials on a loop. But when it was time for me to go to university, I studied law just like my dad because it would’ve been hard as a 17-year-old to convince my parents to pay for film or photography school. 

    I was miserable studying law, but I’m a nerd who likes intellectual challenges, so I was good at it. I graduated from the UK, and the conversation quickly turned to “Just go to law school”, and I did that for a year. The same happened with NYSC, which ended with me eventually getting my first job at a law firm. Even though I wasn’t into any of these things, because I always got the job done, a lot of people around me kept telling me things like, “Just stay for another year.” 

    I had a lot of anxiety and fear around starting a career that didn’t have the structure of a 9 to 5, but COVID helped me confront it. I’d been toying with the idea of starting my clothing line, Anfàní, for five years before I eventually made the move in 2020. 

    Not you leaving, “Objection, my lord” for fashunz

    Honestly, university or work wasn’t the worst part for me. It was law school. I loved university; 10/10 would recommend it. But my experience in law school was harrowing; that place has been problematic and tyrannous for years. It has to be one of the top five most degrading postgraduate programmes in the world. The lecturers there were teaching us about human rights, but when it came to their class rooms or how they treated students, these rights didn’t apply.   

    The whole law thing was like looking out the window and seeing people playing while I was in class studying maths. I should’ve been out in the world, figuring my life out, not doing something I had absolutely no interest in. 

    So how did this transition from law to fashion happen? 

    I’d already pivoted once in 2018 when I left my law firm for a tech company. I stayed there for another two years before quitting the 9-to-5 life altogether. When COVID happened, I was still at this tech job, but I had to reassess whether it gave me the same level of fulfilment it did when I first got it. I didn’t even tell my parents I wanted to leave until the exit paperwork was signed, and I was officially out. 

    It was easier to start my creative journey in 2020 because I wasn’t dependent on my parents for financial support. I told them I’d left my job, and they accepted my decision. 

    But weren’t you scared? 

    I’m not going to lie, I have a significant amount of privilege, so I wasn’t that scared of the financial implications of my decision. Even if I didn’t have savings or my parents, I had a lot of extended family and friends who would’ve been happy to help in any way. But luckily for me, I did have some savings and investments. 

    Leaving a secure job can be a very big and unwise move to make for a lot of people, but I was also lucky that mine happened during the lockdown, so I didn’t have to go anywhere or spend that much money. The world slowing down helped me focus on building my business and stretching out the money I saved. 

    Tell me about this brand that keeps getting sold out every time I try to buy something

    LOL. Anfàní is an idea my co-founder, Temitayo, and I had way back in law school. We just wanted affordable quality t-shirts we could order on Wednesday and wear on Friday for drinks. Over time, it has evolved into a way for us to push this cultural shift of telling stories through the clothes we make and show, not just how we view the world creatively, but also, how young Nigerians like us see the world.  

    “Anfàní” is Yoruba for “value” or “privilege”, and we chose it because we believe clothes shouldn’t be something that’s restricted to just a group of people, it should be accessible for everyone. 

    Nice. What did the experience of finally starting your business teach you about yourself? 

    That I’m exactly who the fuck I think I am. 

    I know that’s right!

    It has also taught me that I’ve built wonderful relationships with people in my 20s, to the point that I have people who’d follow me off a cliff. I’ve also learnt I can handle shit… I don’t like to call myself strong, but I genuinely think I have a strong will to live and enjoy this life no matter what. 

    But most men like the word ‘Strong’, so what gives? 

    I don’t think strength is something that should be tested. It’s exhausting to prove time and time again that I can rebound. A lot of people who say they’re “strong” smile through the pain. I like to sit with my pain and figure out why my body or mind is acting the way it is at the time. 

    I’d rather figure out why I’m not okay and deal with my issues than pretend everything is fine just to look strong. 

    That’s valid 

    By the way, even though I sort of knew it, starting my business forced me to admit how much of a perfectionist I am. I don’t believe in participation medals. What the fuck is the point of doing something if it’s not excellent? 

    It comes from how I was raised. My parents were very supportive, but they were also honest with me regarding how I approached life. They told me when I didn’t apply myself like I should. 

    Are you more or less of a perfectionist now?

    Business isn’t about perfection; it’s just about being good enough. I’m getting a bit more relaxed, but letting go completely feels like recklessness, and I might have an anxiety attack if I do. I’m learning to accept that mistakes happen though. 

    Random question, but does anything scare you? 

    Horror movies are at the top of my list. I watched a lot of scary shit as a kid, and now, I can’t watch them anymore. Then random stuff like needles on TV and moths. But on a deeper level, I’m afraid of succumbing to what Nigerians think masculinity is. 

    Ooop

    For us as Nigerian men, masculinity is all toughness and inaccessibility. But you’re a person, not a tyre. Another thing I’ve noticed is that in the process of unlearning toxic narratives from the past, a lot of us are looking back, without actively asking what the future should look like. It’s almost like we’re focused on what wasn’t as opposed to what should be.

    So how do you view masculinity? 

    I’m not interested in defining masculinity. I feel like a man is simply a man because of the thing between his legs. Everything else is noise. There are so many words and descriptions of masculinity that it can be a lot to understand or aspire to. 

    This is why I fully fuck with the feminist movement, because it gives men space to breathe and be. We don’t have to live up to specific standards, traits and behaviour patterns defined as “masculinity”, that force us to regress instead of evolve as a society. 

    What’s something you’ve had to unlearn about masculinity? 

    Honestly, I’ve always questioned gender structures since when I was little. I grew up surrounded by many formidable women like my grandma, mum and aunties. These women were running businesses, doing really crazy shit and handled just as much, if not more, money than the men. 

    Imagine growing up around women like that, and some man starts saying women are inferior to men. That’s cap! Growing up, we all cooked, cleaned and did all the chores together. No one was pushed toward one activity because of their sex. 

    Because of the environment I was raised in, society’s idea that men are superior to women never settled in my head. It sounded like bullshit. I even stopped playing football because I felt most of the boys were unnecessarily aggressive and mean. I’ve always removed myself from ideas or situations that didn’t make sense in my head. 

    I’m curious about how you’re able to navigate male relationships, especially when they don’t share your views on masculinity

    Male friendships were hard for me growing up. Always hearing guys say stupid things made me gravitate towards women. But that didn’t mean I had a smooth relationship with them either. For my female friends, it was a trust thing where I had to constantly prove I wasn’t like other men. 

    It was a double-edged sword because I couldn’t get on with the guys because I didn’t agree with them, and the girls didn’t really trust me enough to be their friend, so I couldn’t fit in anywhere. 

    Damn. Has this ‘fitting in’ situation changed with time? 

    It’s much different now. I’m having a better time with guys because most of them have also been working to unlearn a lot of the stuff society has told them about masculinity. So it’s easier to make friends. 

    Also, a lot of guys share my views, and I tend to stick with those guys. I’m not responsible for another adult’s education anymore. Everyone has to learn and unlearn themselves, so I’ve chosen to limit unproductive conversations with men who don’t share my views.  

    Interesting. Who are your role models for what it means to be a man? 

    My dad inspires me to be hardworking and generate goodwill. I have a lot of uncles, so I can’t name one and not name the others. LOL. They all taught me a sense of responsibility to myself, my family and friends. 

    Before you go, what are your ingredients for living a happy life? 

    Drink water, mind your business, go outside and touch grass once in a while, go to therapy if you can afford it, love without asking for love in return, acknowledge your feelings, be kind and patient with yourself, and take a deep breath. Scratch that, take 10. 

    Oh, good food and good sex. 

    I’m jotting everything down. Thank you, Demola!

  • Why Buhari Isn’t Making Enough Dough for Nigeria

    To some people, Nigeria is a land with milk and honey flowing into the pockets of politicians. But to others, Nigeria is a country living a fake life just to stunt on Instagram.

    Why Buhari Isn't Making Enough Dough for Nigeria

    In reality, Nigeria’s a country neck-deep in debt with its borrowed milk and honey still flowing into the pockets of politicians.

    As a business, Nigeria is a company in distress. We recently found out that the country isn’t making enough money to even service the debt it owes. Where did all the money go?

    In a recent meeting at Aso Rock Villa, senior civil servants reminded President Buhari that the civil service needs a general salary review because sapa is in town and taking hostages. Buhari offered some excuses explanations on why the salary review is unlikely to happen. 

    Why? His government isn’t making enough dough for Nigeria.

    Why Buhari Isn't Making Enough Dough for Nigeria

    And what were the reasons Buhari highlighted for why Nigeria’s not making enough?

    Thieves

    Nigeria is one of the biggest producers of oil in the world. And oil is the country’s biggest source of revenue. But thieves in high places are stealing the country’s oil and pocketing trillions of naira that belong in the treasury. This culture of theft has always existed but got so much worse under the Buhari administration. 

    Why Buhari Isn't Making Enough Dough for Nigeria

    Nigeria was producing 2.13 million barrels of oil per day in 2015, but that has dropped to 1.25 million barrels per day as of May 2022.

    So it’s convenient that Buhari will use theft as an excuse even though he’s not doing enough to curb it. His administration recently promised to expose the “big men” responsible for all the stealing, but we’re still waiting for him to expose the ones funding terrorism, so don’t hold your breath.


    ALSO READ: Who Are the Biggest Onigbese Governors in Nigeria?


    Vladimir Putin, sort of

    Why Buhari Isn't Making Enough Dough for Nigeria

    In February 2022, President Vladimir Putin ordered Russian troops to invade Ukraine because he didn’t like his neighbours making powerful new friends. The ongoing war has disrupted the global economy and given many world leaders a convenient excuse for their domestic struggles. Of course, Buhari isn’t the type to let a good excuse go to waste so he’s blaming the war for Nigeria’s revenue issues.

    COVID-19

    COVID-19 came for everything when it ripped through the world in 2020. Nigeria even slipped into a recession after months of socio-economic lockdown across the country. So it’s only natural that Buhari would blame the virus for Nigeria’s long-lasting struggles with generating revenue. 

    Security investment

    Buhari told the civil servants his administration has poured so much into fixing security that other sectors which could boost the economy have suffered. 

    It’s the kind of excuse that made him shrink Nigeria’s Excess Crude Account (ECA) from $2.5 billion in 2015 to $376,655 in July 2022. 

    He justified the security spending by saying it’s finally being rewarded, but are Nigerians safer now than they were seven years ago?

    Why Buhari Isn't Making Enough Dough for Nigeria

    ALSO READ: How Buhari Negotiated With Terrorists and Lost

  • Omicron is in Nigeria — Here’s Everything You Need to Know

    Nigeria is currently experiencing a wave of illnesses. While some Nigerians are concerned about a fourth COVID-19 wave, many others are chalking the symptoms to malaria and a change of weather. Meanwhile, the Nigerian Centre for Disease Control (NCDC) has recorded a significant surge in the number of confirmed COVID-19 cases over the past two weeks attributed to newer variants of the virus — the Delta and Omicron variants.

    Here’s everything you need to know about the newest Omicron variant and how to stay safe this Detty December period.

    1. What is Omicron?

    When a virus spreads rapidly enough, it is more likely to change. The process of a virus changing is called a mutation. In the case of COVID-19, the virus has undergone several mutations forming the variants: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta; the newest variant is called Omicron. 

    The Omicron variant has been detected in many countries, including Nigeria

    2. How quickly does it spread?

    In November 2021, 111 people attended a party in Oslo, Norway. Out of the 111 attendees, 80 of them caught COVID-19. Sixty other people who later dined at the same venue also caught the virus. When a virus spreads so quickly at large gatherings, such an event is called a superspreading event. A study from the University of Hong Kong suggests that the Omicron variant infects and multiplies in the body 70 times faster than other variants of COVID-19. This information is crucial in Nigeria, as we are in the season of potential superspreading events — owambe parties, music concerts and Detty December celebrations.

    3. Does the Omicron variant cause different symptoms?  

    Right now, all the symptoms of Omicron seem to be consistent with other variants — cold-like symptoms which include:

    • Runny nose
    • Headache
    • Fatigue (either mild or severe),
    • Sneezing
    • Sore throat.

    Early results suggest that Omicron may not be as severe as the Delta variant, but it is too early to conclude. The World Health Organization (WHO) insists that more data is needed and warns that Omicron should not be dismissed as “mild”.

    4. Do COVID-19 tests detect Omicron? 

    Yes. PCR and antigen-based rapid diagnostic tests detect COVID-19 infection, including the Omicron variant.

    5. How can we protect ourselves?

    While Omicron spreads rapidly, we can reduce the risk of exposure. To protect yourself and your loved ones from the virus, make sure to: 

    • Wear a mask properly — make sure it covers your nose and mouth. Also, be sure your hands are clean when you wear or remove your mask.
    • Practice social distancing — keep a physical distance of at least 1 metre from others. 
    • Avoid crowded spaces or poorly ventilated rooms.
    • Wash your hands regularly and avoid touching your face. When you cannot wash your hands, use a hand sanitiser with at least 60% alcohol.
    • Get vaccinated. WHO-approved COVID-19 vaccines are safe and effective. 

    This is a developing story. Check back for updates and follow Zikoko on Twitter.

  • 6 Crucial Things You Must Do Before You Japa

    You can’t deny the fact that leaving Nigeria a.k.a to japa, is definitely on your to-do list. But there are some crucial things you must do before you travel if you want peace of mind.

    Here are six of them.

    1. Ensure you are fit to travel

    COVID-19 is not a respecter of persons. Before you shake your ass to board a plane, know your health status to determine if you are fit to travel. Thankfully, you can ditch queues and get tested from the comfort of your home with OneHealth. Book here now. You can also get self test Covid Kits with zero stress here.

    2. Eat like a thief

    You always complain eating the same thing day in day out in Nigeria. But once you japa, you’re going to miss the tatse of homemade Nigerian food. So eat all you can now.

    3. Keep quiet about it

    You don’t want to jinx your chances of finally escaping to the abroad. So don’t tell a single soul till you alright from the plane.

    4. Cut ties with your village people

    Get rid of whatever links them to you ASAP and keep the yourself free from the interference of village people your life.

    5. Tattoo “Nigeria” on your back

    If for whatever reason you need to remember where you are from, this will remind you.

    6. Wash your head

    This may be the last on the list, but it’s definitely not the least. Make sure you use a good soap to waah off all the suffer you suffered for nineteen years from your head.

    We know you can’t wait to travel out and pepper your enemies. Just make sure you have a Covid self-test kit from OneHealth for when you expose yourself to all the enjoyment.

  • UNILAG Shuts Down Its Hostels After A COVID Outbreak

    The University authorities released a statement addressing the rise of Covid-19 cases in UNILAG on Tuesday after this tweet was made.

    Huh ??? Covid outbreak in Unilag  ??? https://t.co/LbH5Xv3nM7

    – Jahmal (@JahmalUsen) July 12. 2021

    The statement reads,

    Read more here.

    School activities were going on as normal, even after several Covid-19 positive students were found in hostels like Kofo, Moremi and Honours Hall. Students have reacted in various ways to this news. Here a few reactions: 

    There’s covid in Unilag

    Moremi

    Kofo

    Honors

    Stay safe guys

    — Komedi Queen (@_tohluh_)  July 12. 2021

    The students who tested positive were asked to move out of the hostels to curb the spread of the virus. 

    The roommate of my classmate tested positive for covid-19 and Unilag sent them home. That’s all, go home and come back after two weeks.

    — Nonso this Nonso that. (@Chukwunonsoffor) July 13. 2021

    But some Unilag students had different thoughts on the matter.

    Lets finish this semester before they send us home abeg. Last semester was bad enough. 

    We are all aware we’re in a pandemic.  Get the vaccine, protect yourselves properly and let’s get this semester done with abeg.

    — Omojo? (@allwell_) July 13. 2021

    Is like Covid19 just came back again afresh 😭😭😭 and Unilag is just having its fair share of it.

    It actually didn’t leave Nigeria 💀.

    I don’t want to go home or have to deal with e-learning and at the same time, I don’t want to get infected 😭.

    — Girlie O! (@saabi_girl) July 13. 2021

    There was also speculation on the silence due to the indemnity form students signed upon admission into the university.

    Others have decided to take a lighter tone on the subject:

    if you like wear 20 nose masks, so far you are staying in unilag 🗿you don already catch am

    — maryam (@maryamamasa) July 13. 2021

    unilag students “we outside we outside” now there’s covid everywhere

    –chupaco (@hardtolu) July 13. 2021

    The vice-chancellor of the University of Lagos, Professor Oluwatoyin. T. Ogundipe had an emergency meeting yesterday at 2 pm to discuss the vacation of halls of residence by students after a Covid outbreak in the university.  

    The outcome of the meeting was an immediate closure of hostels to curb the spread of covid-19 on campus. These messages were sent out to the student body; 

    “To check the spread of Covid-19 on campus, the University Senate has directed that all students vacate the halls of residence latest by 12.00 noon on Thursday 15 July 2021. No access will be granted to any student after 12.00 noon on 15 July. The hostels will be locked indefinitely therefore students are advised to move all their personal effects at once. Lectures for the rest of the semester will be delivered virtually with effect from 26th July 2021. DSA”

    Students can be seen all over campus trying to get home. 

    Because of how impromptu the announcement was, and the tedious stress of moving, the university sent out another message earlier today that read; 

    “ IMPORTANT NOTICE. EXTENSION OF THE DEADLINE TO EVACUATE THE HOSTELS TO 12.00 NOON ON FRIDAY 16 JULY 2021. To ease the burden of transportation the deadline to evacuate the hostels is hereby extended to noon on Friday 16 July 2021. DSA.”

    For preventive measures on how to deal with Covid-19, click here

    CTA: If you’re a UNILAG student affected by this we’d like to hear from you. Reach out to us by sending a dm on social media or Malakai Bassey

  • QUIZ: How Safe Are You From Catching COVID-19?

    Yes, we’re still in a pandemic, and COVID-19 is lurking out there. Worse still, you CAN catch it. Wait fess, before you shout “God forbid!” take this quiz to find out just how safe you are.

    Do you know about #ProjectSafeUp — an initiative developed by My World of Bags, in partnership with Mastercard Foundation? The project produces and distributes free personal protective equipment (PPE) to the general public and health workers in Oyo, Lagos, Osun, Ondo and Ekiti. You can follow them on Twitter, Instagram or visit www.myworldofbags.com for access to PPE.

  • Coping In A Pandemic: The Widow Struggling To Pay Rent

    Since August 2020, Nigeria’s Government Enterprise and Empowerment Program (GEEP) and 60 decibels with the support of the Rockefeller Foundation have been administering a survey to GEEP clients to understand how COVID-10 impacted their personal and economic situation. An interim report has been published, and it shows that the Nigerian informal sector was adversely affected by the outbreak. 9 out of 10 GEEP clients recorded drops in their income levels, businesses struggled to stay afloat due to government-imposed closures, low footfalls and constrained supply chains. To survive, GEEP clients had to rely on their savings, borrowed heavily and reduced percentages set aside for household and business savings or stopped outrightly. The data also showed that 35% of GEEP respondents had to close down their businesses, 66% recorded fewer customers and 84% have been using their savings to cope with current hardships. We decided to examine how everyday Nigerians, particularly small business owners were affected by the pandemic. One story every week for the next six weeks. 

    The subject of this week’s Coping In A Pandemic is a widow with three children. She talks about starting her businesses, how Covid-19 has affected her income and her current struggles with paying her rent. 

    Do you remember when you started this business?

    15 years ago. I started as a salesgirl for someone at the mammy market in a barrack. My pay was ₦4k per month. The good thing about the job was that it was a good way to learn the business, and I almost always made more than my salary per month. 

    How?

    My boss had his price, and I had my price. I could add a little to the price of cartons of frozen foods I was given to sell. And we sold hundreds of cartons every month, so it was easy to make my own money. I think I got up to ₦1k on every carton I sold. 

    So, you were making up to ₦100k per month?

    On a good month, yes. I’ve always been good at saving, so I was always putting money away. The job was good, and I was learning and understanding how the business worked. We brought the goods in from Seme and sold them here. I was with him for six or seven years. By the time I was leaving, I’d saved enough to buy a shop in the same market and a car I could use for business — a Golf 3.

    Wow. How much did you buy the shop and the car?

    I bought the shop for ₦200k, and the car was about ₦700k. Now that I had everything to go out on my own, I left the job and started going to buy the frozen goods, mostly chicken and fish. 

    That’s great.

    My husband and I would drive to Seme for the products, and because I had a shop, sales were good. I also supplied people. Life was really good. At least, I could conveniently pay my kids’ school fees and house rent. No wahala at all.

    Then I went to Seme one time, and they seized my car and goods. 

    Ah, why?

    Customs oh. After some back and forth, they released my car, but they held onto my over ₦200k worth of goods. I had used all the money I had for business on that trip. 

    Ah.

    As if that wasn’t enough, my husband decided that we had to sell the car.

    Why?

    He said he wanted to travel to the US. I think he sold it for ₦450k. I don’t even know how he got the rest of the money. I guess he travelled to the village and sold a few plots of lands. Do you want to know what happened after?

    Tell me. 

    He came back home after some time. It didn’t even take long. He said one paper was not correct, so he had to come back. And he came back empty-handed. All that money went down the drain. 

    I’m so sorry about that.

    It didn’t end there oh. He started talking about how disrespectful I was to him. He packed and left. I heard he went to Abuja first, then went to the village. He left me with three kids. My last daughter was one year and three months at the time. I couldn’t reach him — his number was always switched off.

    He didn’t come back till he died about six years ago. It’s been me and my kids since that time.

    Wow, I’m so sorry. 

    Life became harder for me. I was not doing any business, and I had no money to do it. Since my husband died, his family has never checked up on me or offered to give me ₦5. They made it clear that my girls and I don’t matter to them, and we would have to figure our lives without them. 

    I didn’t have money to go back to the business until 2016. 

    How did you pick it up again?

    I joined Mamamoni, and they gave me a ₦100k interest-free loan to start my business again. I went back to my shop and picked up where I left off. Whatever I made from it, I put it back in the business. And I was there until I had to sell the shop in 2018. 

    What happened?

    I was going through another rough patch and couldn’t make rent. The pressure the landlady put on me was a lot, and I couldn’t let her kick us out. I had to put my children first. Rent was ₦200k, so I sold my shop to get the money. With the shop gone, I moved my freezer home and continued my business from there.

    How much did you get for the shop?

    ₦300k. What remained after I paid rent went to their school fees. Two of them were in secondary school already at the time, and their tuition was ₦37k each. 

    I’m curious, how much did you make in sales every month at the time?

    At least ₦50k. It never went below that. 

    Did you have enough to save after meeting your basic needs?

    I’ve always been very particular about saving. You know what I used to do? Ajo. I put ₦500 in every day and ₦100 for each of my kids. I don’t touch that until the end of the year, and that’s what I used to settle rent. But it didn’t work out in 2018. That’s why I had to sell my shop. 

    What about loans? Did you have access to those?

    Ah, I fear loans a lot. The mere mention of loans with interest gives me a panic attack. I’d rather borrow money from people and agree to a payment plan. Those kinds of loans where you will pay excess money in interest put people in trouble. I can’t touch it.

    Anyway, I didn’t need to take those kinds of loans. I was managing just fine with my savings until Covid came. 

    2020. 

    Covid did a lot. Sales declined rapidly during the lockdown. I couldn’t go out to supply and the light wasn’t good, so most of the goods I had in my freezer spoiled. Thank God for Mamamoni; they took care of food and supplied foodstuff for me and my girls. They also gave me another ₦50k interest-free loan to start another business. This was lifesaving. I travelled to Ogun state to buy cassava, and I also bought a gas cooker. That’s how I started selling fufu. And I’m still doing it now.

    How much has this been bringing in?

    I have small small customers I supply to, but It depends on the market and the number of people I can supply in a month. But on average, I’ve been making about ₦20k per month since I started last year. 

    That’s different from what you used to make every month. How has this affected things?

    I couldn’t continue my Ajo last year. What this means now is that I may not meet this year’s rent. And the landlady has increased it to ₦250k. I told her that I cannot afford that, and she was like, “If you cannot pay, move out.” I don’t know how it will work out because I have only ₦50k. I’ve asked her for more time to do what I can do to find the ₦200k. I believe in miracles. One of my daughters is writing an exam this year, and I had to pay school fees — about ₦50k. When finding the money to pay for school fees was becoming a problem, God sent someone to give me ₦70k. I don’t know the lady. Someone just told her about me, and she decided to help.

    That must have been a huge relief. Do you ever want to go back to selling frozen food items?

    Yes, I was making more money from that. Also, the stress of selling fufu is too much. It takes a lot of strength to turn the cassava, and the pain that comes with it is too much. I got sick one time, but I couldn’t stop because I needed all the money I could get.

    How much do you think you need to go back to it?

    Everything is expensive now. A carton of chicken used to be as low as ₦8k, but it’s almost ₦18k now. A carton of fish is even more expensive. And also, I can’t go on that Seme road again because of Customs. They treat you like you’re carrying cocaine and seize your goods. I can’t deal with that stress. Although things are cheaper there, I’d have to buy locally. I also need a generator — Nepa has shown me a lot. I’d need at least ₦200k to return to the business. 

    As it is now, won’t a bank or microfinance bank loan be helpful for you?

    As I said earlier, these loans that come with interest are not for me. Some people will add interest so high that the thought of paying it back will give you high blood pressure. I don’t want to be one of those people who take a microfinance bank loan and start hiding when the collectors come. I cannot do it. It will kill me.

    It’s not like I don’t have the power to collect a loan, I just don’t want to. If I had a shop now, I might consider it. I’ll just concentrate on this fufu thing I do for now and hope things open up soon. I know how to do business very well and make the best use of money, so my children and I will be fine.

    What aspect of your finances do you think you could be better at?

    Savings, maybe. I couldn’t save last year, and that’s affecting a lot of things now. If I can save more, that can help prepare me for something like Covid. That being said, It’s hard raising a family alone. I don’t know how I’m taking care of these responsibilities. But God has been helping me through a lot of people.

    With everything that has happened in the past year, would you say you’re happy?

    Why wouldn’t I be? There’s life, and there’s always hope. Also, I’m watching my kids grow, and that means everything to me. My house rent is the only problem now. When I settle that, I’ll be happier.

    You should read this story next:

    Coping In A Pandemic: The Petty Trader Who Can’t Sell Everything She Wants


  • 6 Nigerians Discuss Surviving COVID-19

    One year on, the COVID-19 pandemic continues to ravage countries globally. While Nigeria seemed to have gotten away with a mild first wave, the country’s decrepit healthcare system is overwhelmed by a devastating second wave. I spoke to six Nigerians who had recovered from the disease.

    Seyi, 20

    I think I know the exact date and place I caught COVID. March 17th. Club DNA. A lot of IJGBs and people who were at the AMVCA were there. It was quite horrible. I had all the symptoms; fatigue, costochondritis (it literally feels like a heart attack), shortness of breath, gastrointestinal issues (ended up getting a bezoar that partly blocked my stomach), horrible reflux, dizziness, tinnitus and a host of other symptoms, losing 18kg in the process. I was so sure I was going to die. 

    I’m one of the unlucky people who get long COVID. This means that ten months later, I’m still suffering and there’s no end in sight. I feel sorry for the new set of COVID long-haulers. I’ve met two others, and it’s a really shitty condition.

    Yemi, 27

    It started suddenly with pain all through my body. Because I had been exposed to mosquitoes before then, I treated malaria. I felt better for a few days, then the incessant headaches started. I treated malaria again because I was convinced I had used a fake anti-malarial at first and I had a persistent bitter taste in my mouth. I went to a high-end pharmacy and bought the most expensive anti-malarial and imported panadol. My symptoms didn’t stop, instead, I just got progressively sicker.

    I started having difficulties breathing, couldn’t stand for extended periods without feeling exhausted and felt like something was lodged in my throat, no matter how much water I drank. That’s when I started suspecting COVID. I didn’t think it was the virus before because I live like a hermit, seldom going out. I cook and order everything and go weeks without leaving my apartment. When I do, I was masked up and armed with a sanitiser. I was tested last Tuesday and before I received the result, I started experiencing a tingling sensation in my lower limbs, like someone was poking me with a sharp object.

    I’m currently managing it at home with a drug regimen, which my HMO provided alongside a BP machine, blood sugar machine and oximeter. I still wake up feeling tired and my breathing hasn’t normalised. Sometimes, I have to use a nebuliser to help me breath better.

    Joe, 29

    I’m a doctor, so it wasn’t too surprising that I caught it in June 2020. Started with the usual fever, body pain and headache. I tested positive for malaria parasite and started treating it with drugs and injections, but the symptoms didn’t stop. After finishing the last dose of drugs, I could smell nothing, not even perfumes. Cough and catarrh started and I realised it was COVID. Despite this, I tested negative for COVID but tested positive for antibodies.

    I couldn’t smell anything for 12 days until I smelt bird poo that had dropped on my hand. I had never been so happy to smell shit in my life. Now, I practically have malaria every three weeks. I guess COVID makes you vulnerable, even after you’ve conquered it.

    Kamsi, 28

    I caught COVID in December, two weeks before my wedding. Then I infected my brother, niece and sister. We suspect it was my older sister that infected me, and by extension, us. It started with a terrible stomach ache in the middle of the night. I was rushed to the hospital and they gave me some pain relief intravenously. They ran some tests and they said it was malaria. When I finished the malaria meds, I had a constant headache, cold and fever. I even lost 6kg in two weeks.

    I went back to the hospital for more tests and they said I had an upper respiratory infection. I believed because I usually have rhinitis. The drugs didn’t help still. I couldn’t walk or do anything, except being in bed. Then one day, I wanted to shower and I couldn’t smell my soap. I said hmmm. While I was eating, my sister asked if the food was nice and I couldn’t tell. That’s how I realised it was COVID. Went for a test but started medication and it eventually left. Nobody tells you the part that the tiredness doesn’t go away or how you could lose your sense of balance.

    Ugo, 28

    I never went out except for groceries and occasionally to restaurants that were COVID regulations compliant. I tried to do everything right.  My roommate got infected and she didn’t tell me about it. I was even taking her to hospitals but didn’t suspect COVID until it was too late. I lost my sense of taste and smell and the test result said I was positive. I had only one symptom and I started medication and communion immediately (LOL I’m a Christian like that). My symptoms stopped after 5 days and now, I’m just waiting for two weeks to do another test. I feel guilty because she’d still in the hospital and all I had to do was isolate at home. 

    Beyonce, 26

    It started off with fatigue, irritation and lack of appetite on the 31st of December but I thought it was a hangover. By the 2nd, I had a sore throat. On the 3rd, cough. I assumed these were because I got sand in my lungs during a desert safari I had done in Dubai. By the 4th, I was so down that I had to do a test on the 5th and I wasn’t surprised when it came back positive. At this point, I couldn’t lie on my back because I would suddenly have a coughing fit.

    I had to pay for mandatory isolation in Dubai, but luckily, the medical travel insurance I bought before I travelled covers COVID so I’m getting a full refund. I’ll advise anyone travelling to buy medical insurance that covers COVID. I tested negative and was released on the 15th. Still, I didn’t go scot-free. I can’t climb stairs or lift heavy objects without holding my chest. I still have phlegm in my throat.

    [donation]

  • 4 Airbnb Hosts Share Their Worst Experiences

    Being an Airbnb host means having to interact with different kinds of people, some great, others unsavoury. I spoke to four Airbnb hosts about their experiences and how they coped during the pandemic.

    Arike

    Being an Airbnb host in Nigeria is quite an interesting experience. Many times, we have great guests who aren’t a bother. They don’t send you any messages until they want to hand over the keys. And then we have the ones who send you messages in the middle of the night. Or the ones who expect a porter to carry their suitcases for them. One time, we had a guest who trashed the house terribly; used condoms, weed and dirty plates were littered all over the home. We had to block out an entire day just to get it back in order. Of course, they never got their security deposit back. We also place them on our banned list, to make sure we never let them back.

    2020 was quite an interesting year. Despite COVID, we still managed to be fully booked. While Airbnb is our main marketing tool, it’s best to be on multiple platforms, work with local agents and advertise aggressively on Instagram. We had guests who were stuck there, others who were renovating their homes. In all, 2020 wasn’t a bad year.

    Shalewa

    I decided to stop hosting in January 2020. I found the experience to be financially rewarding but STRESSFUL. My guests were mostly people visiting from the UK or US, staying three weeks to one month. Occasionally, I’d have “Ikeja boys”, I assume they were just people looking for a place to have sex LMAO.

    The worst part about hosting was that I couldn’t do much if/when guests misbehaved. Guests from Nigeria usually booked with virtual cards, unlike foreign guests who booked credit/debit cards, so if they wanted to spoil things, there were no financial consequences. The first guest I had, a white girl and Nigerian boyfriend smoked in the apartment, despite a strict no-smoking policy. They even left burn marks in my sheets! I ended up having to give the next guest a discount because the place reeked of smoke. 

    Another knuckleheaded guest tried to break the padlock to the wardrobe where I kept my personal stuff. They probably thought I stored valuables there instead of tampons and underwear. I reported to Airbnb, nothing happened. I finally ended my tenancy and moved back fully to the US in January 2020. I considered keeping it because the money wasn’t bad but I’m glad I didn’t because 2020 happened. I would have just cried.

    Ade

    In my experience, guests can be very annoying. To be a host, you have t be ready to listen and tolerate different attitudes. The rules for our apartment are simple and clear: no smoking inside the apartment and no parties or hangouts, but many times we’ve had to remove guests who broke the rules. We even had one guest who brought a DJ to a full party.

    2020 was quite rough for us. Our apartment was empty throughout the lockdown, so we were running at a complete loss. Things didn’t start picking up again until November, December.

    Ejiro

    Generally, I’ve had good experiences with guests. Some are difficult, some are easy. Some of the guests damage stuff and leave without informing the host. We’ve also had a few needy guests. And some guests can be absolutely pigs. Unimaginable levels of filth, using bedside tables as ashtrays and staining it beyond recognition. Some have left heaps of trash and unwashed plates. One guest even wrecked the TV and Venetian blinds, leaving cigarette odour lingering in the room, despite the no-smoking rule. It was a complete mess.

    2020 wasn’t a bad year at all. In fact, it was good. During the pandemic, the bookings from Airbnb reduced but we had a lot of booking on other platforms. During the original lockdown, a guest stayed for three months. 

    Read: 6 Young Nigerians Talk About Mental Health Medication

    [donation]

  • 7 Things Nigerians Will Do Once The Coronavirus Vaccine Is Out

    Good news. Two coronavirus vaccines have shown some serious promise and might be deployed as early the last days of November. Yaay. While this doesn’t mean COVID will be over by Christmas or even late next year, it’s safe to make plans a future where something close to normalcy is restored. Like many others, Nigerians are getting ready to go back to the things they’ve missed during the pandemic.

    1. Fornicate

    If there’s one thing Nigerians like above partying, it is fornicating. For hardened fornicators among us, the pandemic has been difficult. You see those ones in long-distance relationships? Hmm.

    12 easy ways to initiate sex with your husband - Motherhood, Parenting,  Lifestyle Blog Nigeria

    2. Go clubbing

    It has been burning Nigerians inside their bodies that they have been able to club for 8 months. Once things go back to normal, Quilox will look like crusade ground.

    3. Go for church crusades

    Speaking of crusade grounds, it’s been a minute since your mother had the opportunity to call down holy ghost fire among her peers. You just know the first church crusade after the pandemic is going to slap so hard.

    4. Owambe

    The way weddings and other parties are going to return with a vengeance, you’ll think people were trying to kill themselves.

    5. Beach

    The beaches have been empty for a long time. Once the pandemic is over:

    6. Travel

    The pandemic has had the world on lockdown throughout this year. For the rich we’re meant to be eating, they’ve missed posting champagne in front of the passport on IG stories. All they’ve been posting is old vacation pictures captioned “Take me back😭😭”

    Passports and Boarding Passes | Travel photos, Trip, Traveling by yourself

    7. Restaurant-hopping

    You know these people. Every Saturday, they are at a different restaurant. During the lockdown, all their IG was quiet. When things return to normal, you’ll have to check whether its them you’re following a food channel.

    Cactus Restaurant, Victoria Island (Lagos)-Review

    Read: 5 Ways To Handle A Long Distance Relationship

    [donation]

  • Covid-19 Palliatives Have Become The New Oil

    There has been a wave of the discovery of Covid-19 palliatives all across Nigeria. This is coming just after the wave of the recent #EndSARS protests.

    But while many state governments say that the discovered palliatives are for the poor and vulnerable people and that they were meant for onward distribution to other states, some people are wondering how long it was taking the government to finally distribute these food items.

    Meanwhile, people have also been killed by security operatives while in search of these Covid-19 palliatives.

    https://twitter.com/onyiforlife/status/1319698172600614934

    We rounded up 5 states where warehouses that were supposed to house Covid-19 palliatives have otherwise become a treasure hunt for some Nigerians.

    1. Lagos State

    2. Osun State

    https://twitter.com/AyamDamiee/status/1319596434530906114?s=19

    3. Calabar, Cross-River State

    4. Jos, Plateau State

    https://twitter.com/rutie_xx/status/1319965281880596480?s=19

    5. Kwara State

  • 4 Final Year University Students Share Their Unpleasant Pandemic Experiences

    The coronavirus pandemic caught the whole world off-guard and largely unprepared. The world switched into self-preservation mode and put stringent rules in place to curb the spread of the virus. Then, came the total lockdown of activities. Schools were not spared.

    Usually, Nigerian students are at their busiest in their final years as they have to write projects and write examinations. Alas, even that was brought to a standstill as lives had to be saved first.
    I asked a couple of final year students from different Nigerian universities to share what their experiences with the pandemic have been.

    Christian Ndukwe, Alex Ekwueme Federal Teaching Hospital, Abakaliki – Caught in a love triangle

    I always thought love triangles involving lecturers and students were absent in nursing schools until I got caught in one. I liked a female colleague, but her guardian, a reverend father, disapproved of our relationship. At first, I thought he was being overly protective. But that wasn’t the case. He had been having sex with her for over a year now. She told me she would have loved to be with me but feels her education might be affected if she did. When the ‘rona came around, the resistance to our relationship became more serious. The school’s dean of students affairs summoned me and threatened to expel me. He asked me to put down the names of the girls I’ve had sexual relations with. When I refused, he promised to deal with me.

    I had a problem with my course registration, but he refused to fix it until I succumbed to their wishes. I couldn’t understand what the fuss what’s all about, so I didn’t change my position on the matter. Eventually, he got my Statistics lecturer on his side, who said he would make sure I failed his course because I missed more than 50% of his lectures.

    I discussed the newest development with the girl, and we agreed to break off the relationship. I really wished we were still together, but when the result was announced and I cleared all my papers, I knew it was worth the sacrifice.

    Arinze Christian, University of Nigeria – Trapped in school

    After the COVID breakout, I had some project stuff to settle. I thought staying in school would give me space and time to accomplish a great deal on my project, but I was wrong. I couldn’t work effectively because everyone had left the school,– the entire school was like a graveyard, 7 PM became the new 12 midnight. It was so boring and frustrating. If the internet didn’t exist, I have no idea how I would have survived. When the inter-state ban was lifted and I didn’t hesitate to leave. I am now at home thinking and missing school. What a life!

    Precious Nwajuaku, Nnamdi Azikiwe University – Survived on garri and water without sugar

    During this pandemic, staying at home wasn’t a pleasant experience for me. I was always having issues with my mum over many things, especially money.

    When school was in session, my mom tried her best to send me money, so I was not always broke. But when the pandemic hit, collecting money from her proved to be difficult. If she decided to give me, I wouldn’t hear the end of it for the rest of the day. Not that I blame her much!

    The governor of my state declared a total lockdown of the state. We didn’t get the information on time, so we didn’t stock the house with food. The risk of getting arrested made us think twice about going outside. I remember sneaking outside when the hunger was getting too much to go to a woman who sold bread on my street, only to find out that her store was closed. God! We lived on garri and water without sugar for the next three days!

    Temidayo Jacob, University of Ilorin – Had to get an affidavit

    Graduating this year is on God. I guess I have moved on with my life. Whatever it is, it is. It’s bad enough to live during a pandemic, but banks have gotten more frustrating than usual.

    I went to a GTbank branch close to my lodge in school to open an account. I was out in the sun for 4 hours. To crown it all, their customer service was terrible.

    While I was waiting, the security man freely allowed affluent people in without stress. I was irritated that one set of people were prioritised over the others, and were allowed in as soon they arrived while we wey no sabi pesin and had no car stayed under the sun. Laslas, na person wey get property actually get money for the bank.

    On opening the account, I was asked to go to court to get an affidavit to update my BVN details. A whole me? Go to court? I just gave up on the whole thing and went home straight to sleep.

  • 5 Annoying Post-Lockdown Expenses That You Can’t Escape

    Now that the world is opening up, some expenses that you were able to hide from thanks to the lockdown will finally come and drag you by the trousers. Holiday is over; time to pay the price.

    Here, we listed some of the expenses that you managed to dodge during the lockdown but they will soon come for your neck. God be with you.

    1. School fees

    30+ people are already breathing heavily because of the upcoming threats of new school term fees and other related expenses. At this point, you’re just checking the news everyday to know when the government plans on reopening schools. It’s not easy.

    2. Parties

    Remember all those parties that were cancelled because of the lockdown? They’re coming back with a vengeance. Especially weddings. Nigerians being Nigerians, they have been itching for a party forever. Once the lockdown is completely over, this country won’t contain us. 

    3. Car maintenance

    You’ve parked your car since March because you’ve been working from home. Now HR has said everybody should come inside o and you’re wondering what new faults your car ha developed since then. Go on, call your mechanic. He won’t bite (I hope).

    4. Lunch dates

    Restaurants have now happened and you know what that means: your friends are about to suggest that you all “try out this nice place.” In Nigeria, Nice = Expensive, so you do the math.

    P.S You can always tell them that you are not feeling hungry.

    5. Clubbing

    Clubs aren’t open yet but we know that’s coming soon. You know you can’t sit down in one place, so you’ll be the first person  to open the gate when they open. I don’t blame you; I too want to receive grinds to Burna’s new album in Quilox. But you also know what that means for your account balance:

    I know you’re wondering what to read next. This is the one: You Know You’re Drunk When You Do These 8 Things.

  • I Took All The Precautions And Still Got COVID
    COVID

    Ever since the lockdown eased up, there has been a relaxed atmosphere among Nigerians. Fewer people are wearing masks and there are “small parties” happening all over the country. Understandably, people are tired. 

    How worried would you feel if you avoided these parties, followed the necessary guidelines, and still got COVID-19? Today, Lisa and Tomiwa share their experience with taking precautions and still getting infected.

    When did you first suspect that you had COVID-19?

    My wife fell ill, and that made us get tested. I wouldn’t have known I was sick if she hadn’t fallen ill because I’m completely asymptomatic.

    Damn, what were her symptoms?

    She had a fever that lasted two or three nights. The type where the fever disappeared during the daytime and came back at night. She was also tired – a lot of fatigue – like constantly tired.

    Then she lost her sense of smell.

    Wow.

    Prior to her falling ill, she would go to work once a week. Other than that, we only went out for essential shopping like groceries. And that was like once every two weeks. Apart from grocery shopping, I’ve not had any reason to go out because I’ve been working from home.

    At the beginning of her illness, I think she went to work once – One day when she was feeling better, and before we got the diagnosis that it was COVID-19. Immediately we got the diagnosis, we informed people in our compound. Now, we’re just isolating inside our house.

    We are fitness people. Before this started; we were dosing up on vitamins, keeping fit and just staying healthy. Our cook came in one Monday morning after going home for the weekend and said he had malaria, so we sent him home. We told him to go isolate and get tested. Then my wife fell ill the next day.

    We are a little bit concerned that she might have gotten it from him. Now it’s just the two of us at home and I’ve been looking after her. It’s been two weeks of giving her vitamins, food, and just kind of keeping the house together. She’s been fine and hasn’t been doing too much. 

    Has this affected the quality of your 9-5?

    Not significantly.

    The best thing about working from home is that your schedule is your own. If you want to wake up earlier, you can do that. If you want to work later in the evening, you can also do that. The difference between being in the office and now is that I’ve done a hundred loads of laundry since this thing started. 

    It just feels like I’m always washing clothes. It feels like I’m always doing dishes. It’s just the two of us at home, why are there so many bloody dishes? Why are there so many bowls? 

    You just do stuff on your own schedule. If you have a call, you take your call. The thing about calls is that if it’s a conference call where you’re not the one talking, you can mute and be doing the dishes while it’s happening. So, you’re taking your phone and moving it around while you’re doing things. You finish a call, you make lunch, you do some work, you do the dishes.

    Because we’re home, it’s a bit easier to manage the time pressure and the logistics of the thing. If she were ill and I had to go to the office, that would change the equation completely. In a sense, it’s a blessing that it’s happening this way.

    I’m curious. Are you saying she got Corona even with preventive measures?

    In the first two months of the quarantine – like March, April and most of May, we were super strict. As I said, we have someone who works with us, but for at least the first 8 weeks, we just sent him home – and we were paying salary o. Just sit down in your house and be collecting salary, don’t come to work. We also didn’t receive visitors.

    The lockdown eased in like two or three stages. When the government eased it the second time, we were like “we’re tired”, so we let the guy come back to work.

    Then, after they released the lockdown again, my wife started going to work.

    When the cook came back to work – we told him to have a shower, change his outside clothes to inside clothes, and wear a mask before coming into the house. We knew that wasn’t the most ideal protocol but we relaxed a little bit, with the mask.

    Why didn’t your wife continue working from home?

    She works in manufacturing and they sometimes have to go in.

    Ah, I see. What has been the scariest day since she got ill?

    The scariest day health-wise was the first day. She had a fever so bad that I really wanted to take her to the hospital but we knew that hospitals would turn us back because of COVID fear. She had really bad headaches, and was super tired; that was worrying. When she lost her sense of smell, we were like “oh, this might be COVID.” Then when we got our results, we were like “right, we’re positive.” 

    Then there was having to tell people. There’s still a huge stigma to it; different people react differently. Some people were angry with us for not telling them quickly enough, others were really worried for us – We were just like we have this thing but don’t be scared, she seems to be okay. Thankfully, I think her case is relatively mild. She hasn’t had any breathing issues. She’s been taking her vitamins and just resting. She took paracetamol to break the fever. But it hasn’t been as bad as some of the cases we’ve heard of.

    So, I think the health scare hasn’t been as bad for us.

    Whew! How did you guys even get tested?

    So we did two tests.

    A friend had the antibody tests and we took two of those. It’s a blood test that you do at home. The way it’s supposed to work is that if you have the disease or you’ve had it, there are antibodies to show that your body is fighting it. Or that your body developed antibodies to fight it.

    There’s an IgG antibody. Basically, if you have it, it means your body is currently fighting it. Then, there’s IgM which means you had it and your body developed antibodies to fight it. So, we took that and they came back negative. But we were advised to still take a proper COVID test.

    My dad told us about Mainland hospital in Yaba where we could get it done. So we just drove down there and got tested, it took about 90 minutes and it was completely free. They sent us back home, and we got our results back in about 3 or 4 days.

    How did you guys handle the apprehension as you waited? 

    She became sick on a Tuesday. We thought it doesn’t seem like COVID. It’s just a headache, fever, tiredness. Then by Friday of that week, she lost her sense of smell. So, we were like “ah, this might be COVID.”

    Before we even knew it was COVID, we went to a regular hospital. They did a blood test for malaria and it came back negative. We then went to Mainland hospital in Yaba to get tested for COVID. And remember, it took them 3-4 days to get our results. So, we were basically managing it ourselves for almost two weeks.

    The instructions from the internet have been to boost your immune system: Eat food that’ll boost your immune system. Take vitamins like Vitamin c, Zinc, Vitamin D and then a general multivitamin. If you have a fever, take paracetamol. So, there’s no chloroquine, or treating yourself for malaria and all of that. Just treat your symptoms, isolate at home, and drink lots of fluids. 

    We did have some apprehension after we took the test that she might have to go to an isolation centre, but we’ve been able to isolate at home. 

    So, it’s been like DIY?

    Ish.

    Cool. What about this current crisis gives you hope based on your own experience?

    There are two or three things that give us hope:

    One – She got it and it wasn’t as bad as we’ve heard it can be. I don’t know if it’s because we have a lighter strain in Nigeria. I don’t know if it’s because she has no relevant underlying conditions. She was in really good health ahead of time. We are fitness people and take vitamins even when there’s nothing on the horizon. If you have a healthy immune system and no underlying condition, there’s a possibility that it won’t be that bad. I’m not saying people shouldn’t take it seriously, but we got a relatively mild case of it.

    Secondly, I’ve been asymptomatic. so that gives some kind of hope. Like my test came back positive, but I’ve been fine. I don’t know if I’m immune or anything, but I’m fine.

    Thirdly, the testing was efficient even though 90 mins is a long time to wait. To be fair, we were number 98 on the queue. There were a lot of people and it was relatively well-spaced and organized. It was orderly, there was not too much shalaye. The process was just to fill this form and give them that information, then we got tested. It looked like it was a well-run process.

    The results take some time to come out, which can be a bit annoying. Other than that, it’s fine.

    Nice. How have you been coping with the isolation boredom?

    So, both of us have been working out at home. Even with this thing, we’re still exercising. It’s also been work, tv, and books. 

    The silver lining of this thing is that I’ve never hung out alone with my wife for so long – that’s a good thing. I’m enjoying that.

    COVID
  • 6 Reasons We Believe The Nigerian FG Has Come To An Agreement With The Coronavirus

    If you’ve been observing the Nigerian government since Lady Corona hit, wondering what the thought process is behind the decisions they make regarding the outbreak, you’re not alone. Also, the reason you haven’t been able to figure out their plan for this pandemic is that they don’t have one.

    I don’t think they ever did.

    This explains why they keep making decisions that imply they have some kind of agreement with Her Royal Virus. Decisions like:

    1) The fact that they made this claim:

    They said this with their chest like they’d bribed Miss Rona to skip Nigeria during her world tour. The worst part? We fell this fucking lie.

    2) The fact that they eased the lockdown and placed a curfew:

    Some of the rules that came with this made sense (wearing masks, ban on interstate travelling etc). But what was the point of the curfew? We’re trying to avoid being infected by a virus, not escape a gang of vampires. So what was the reason?

    3) The fact that they gave this order:

    Am I missing something? Does Miss Rona know to not infect people in gatherings of more than 20 if they’re in church?

    4) The fact that they decided on this:

    I guess Rona’s gonna wait 60 mins at every church service before she starts attacking people. Good to know.

    5) The fact that the governor of Port Harcourt keeps declaring and suspending the lockdown in his state.

    Take your time deciding what you’re want to do, Wike. Rona is definitely gonna wait for you.

    6) THIS DECISION!!!!!

    These niggas really made the decision to cut health funding IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC knowing that the isolation centres are running out of bed spaces.

    Media Tweets by Belen Abollado (@belen_abo) | Twitter

    Chile, let us pray.

    What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

  • The 5 Worst Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories We’ve Heard

    Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

    It’s safe to say that Miss Rona‘s arrival threw the world headfirst into chaos. A lot of people currently existing have never lived through a pandemic, and the fact that new things keep being discovered about the virus every day has left people confused and scared as shit.

    Then there are the people who believe they have everything figured out. They have bogus theories about Rona V’s origin story and will tell anyone who will listen…usually on Facebook because the people on there find these garbage theories easy to believe for some reason.

    1) That the virus is being caused by 5G towers.

    Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

    Just because the rollout of 5G was happening at the same time COVID-19 hit, conspiracy theorists insist that 5G towers and Lady Corona are connected. Which is insane because it’s biologically impossible for a virus to spread via the electromagnetic spectrum (the spectrum is made up of wave/protons while viruses are comprised of proteins and nucleic acids). That didn’t stop them from burning down 5G towers in the UK though.

    2) Bill Gates is responsible for everything. (The Gates of Hell)

    Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

    Anti-Vaxxers saw a video of a 2015 Ted Talk given by Bill Gates where he spoke about the (then) Ebola outbreak and warned of a future pandemic. They took this to mean that Bill had foreknowledge of Mistress Orona’s world tour and declared that the whole thing was Bill’s evil plan to force vaccinations on everyone on the planet. When it became news that Bill is currently funding COVID-19 vaccine research, the theory evolved to include a plan to depopulate Africa and use the vaccine program to inject microchips into people that could be used to track and control them.

    Keep in mind that Daddy Bill has been involved in vaccine research funding for decades. If he wanted to serve Captain Planet villain realness, he would’ve done so a long time ago.

    3) That the virus was created by China as a biological weapon.

    Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

    The first version of this one involved the virus being created in a lab by the Chinese and then somehow getting out, à la Resident Evil. That wasn’t juicy enough though so it evolved to include a subplot of China creating it as a bioweapon. Thanks to genetic sequencing, this has been debunked.

    4) That the virus isn’t real.

    Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

    Some people believe the virus is a hoax and the governments of the world are using the fear to take away our freedom. This particular theory is so strong that it has inspired anti-lockdown protests in the US. At this rate, they’re all going to end up like the guy in the meme above.

    5) That the current infection/death numbers are inflated.

    Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

    With the way this virus spreads, there is every chance that a ton of deaths have happened that the government doesn’t even know about. Don’t dull yourself.

    On today’s episode of Zikoko’s one-minute series, Isolation Diary, the host tackles conspiracy theories and has a message for the people who believe in them blindly. Check it out below:

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CAKoBaYlZGS/

    Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

  • We Asked 6 Nigerian Teachers How Covid-19 Is Affecting Them

    If you’ve ever taken an online course, then you know how hard it can be. And this is you as an adult who knows the importance of these things, let alone a child who just wants to watch Nickelodeon in peace.

    Curious about how learning has been outside a classroom, I asked Nigerian teachers how the experience has been.

    Kola – 28.

    “The major challenge has been the novelty of passing information via a screen. This is not even about using computers and all. It has been difficult to pass knowledge because this is a new technology for both the teachers and the students in these parts. Most times, we use some measure of fear to make the students sit still and focus, but that effect is not the same over a screen.”

    Alex, 26.

    “A major challenge is timing. The student that had the longest attention span was 1 hour. Over time, they got tired because they are also affected by what is happening. To them, the fact that they are not in the classroom gives them the idea that they are meant to be relaxed. Not having to dress up and get into traffic makes them feel like they are on holiday. So, if you tell them that they have to come online at this time, and they have to do that every day, what happens is that they lose interest.

    So, it’s not as effective as them showing up physically everyday. They don’t get the chance to be tired if it’s physically. They may be tired but they have to see it through.”

    Bode, 24.

    “I run a private tutorial center and it’s a bit more expensive to run an online class than offline. There are many factors. Firstly, we are making lesser money per hour online because of reduced hours. Students are only taking 30 mins to an hour lesson as compared to 2 – 3 hours of lessons.

    Secondly, parents are not ready to pay as much as before because they are cutting costs. So, lesser revenue and increased expenditure.

    Thirdly, internet and power are such a big issue that sometimes you wonder why you bother. It’s so easy to give up after the tenth “can you hear me?”

    Kehinde, 27.

    “I tutor IELTS and since the exam got suspended, students haven’t been coming. Many of them think the world is ending and IELTS won’t matter again. So, I haven’t had any students in a while. It has been a tough couple of months as this is my main hustle. I am just grateful that my wife has a job because it would have been terrible for us.”

    Biola, 27.

    “I run a tutorial center for WAEC and JAMB in Mushin. My business model is a large crowd paying small money so I can make a turnover. I optimize for one thousand students paying N1,000. But now that Government has said we should lockdown, I have been losing money everyday – No crowd.

    I thought of going online but the students can’t even afford data to watch the videos. I am confused about how to help them. At this point, it’s not even about the money, it’s about helping kids who are already at an obvious disadvantage. I feel sitting at home may widen that disadvantage compared to their richer counterparts who can afford online home tutorial.”

    Tosin, 23.

    “I am happy oh. Thank God for COVID so I don’t have to show up in any useless school. I don’t know why NYSC sends graduates to teach. I don’t think there’s any NYSC teacher that enjoys teaching. Let them lock us down till this foolish NYSC is over.”

    You should totally read this next: We Asked 5 Nigerian Students How They Dealt With Failing A Course.

  • A Week In The Life Of An Imam Navigating A Zoom Ramadan During Covid-19

    “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    Today’s subject is Imam Nojeem Jimoh. He tells us how he’s navigating Ramadan using technology in this special time.

    Zoom Ramadan Covid-19

    THURSDAY:

    I wake up by 4:15 am today. I pray two rakats and make dua until it’s time for fajr. In the past, I would have left the house ten minutes to the time for fajr to lead congregational prayers in the masjid, but that’s no longer possible. We are in special times. By Saturday, it will be one month since we last gathered for congregational prayers at the masjid. But we have no choice.

    Everyone has had to adapt to the new change. Even the madrasa. There are now online classes for the children. Their Arabic teacher recites and records the surah he wants the children to memorize and he sends it to them via Whatsapp. Then, they recite and record and send it back to him and he makes corrections. Arabic classes are now held over Zoom calls. One hour session where everyone recites along and tasks are monitored. It doesn’t replicate the madrasa perfectly but it at least ensures that time is not wasted during this period. You cannot escape Alfa because Alfa is online monitoring your task and progress.

    So, instead of going to the mosque to lead prayers, I lead my family in prayers. In the past, I would have had my bath and prepared for my 9-5 after fajr. I am not a full-time imam. I have a job that I report to during the week. My job is classified as essential services so that means I still have to go in during this period. However, I don’t have to go in as early as I used to. This means that I have some leeway to do one or two things.

    I am a morning person and I am not used to going back to sleep after waking up. So, I find a way to pass time before leaving for work. 

    FRIDAY:

    If ever we can say something good came out from this period, it is becoming internet savvy. Especially among my own congregation. I have encouraged everyone to actively download Zoom and the response has been encouraging. This is because it seems like this is going to be a Zoom Ramadan. Why I am grateful for Zoom is that it still gives people the communal feeling even though we are all apart. This is especially important because of people who are struggling with their iman during this period. We all struggle with iman normally and that’s why we all need to keep in touch with each other.

    Today, after work, I am going to address my congregation on Whatsapp concerning Ramadan. We have a general Whatsapp group where we send important messages. I have informed them that it’s going to be for 90 minutes, and I have asked for their cooperation. 

    My message to them is simple: this virus is real and deadly. We have been tasked by the Sharia to obey Allah and the people who have authority over us. The Sharia also tasks all Muslims with the preservation of life. The people in authority over us have enforced rules to ensure the preservation of life. Therefore, by obeying these rules, we are preserving life and following Sharia. It is important that regardless of how unusual things are, everyone follows instructions.

    Everyone should pray Taraweeh in their homes with their family. Islam is not stressing anyone.

    After the address, I look forward to enjoying a quiet Iftar with my family. Me, my wife, the children, feasting on a delicious meal of ogi and moi moi.

    SATURDAY:

    I wake up with a slight cough today. Normally, I would reach for water but I don’t, because I am fasting. It is one of those things. 

    Being an imam like any other thing comes with its own “challenges”. I have had a member of my congregation call me by 1 am to just “come to their house immediately” without telling me the nature of the emergency. Bearing in mind that I still had to go to work later that day, I had no choice but to rush down.

    Other times, I have had parents bring children to me suffering from depression and anxiety issues. It has been my job to walk the fine line between offering them spiritual comfort based on the Sunnah and also making sure that the child receives the appropriate modern medical treatment. That is, encouraging them to go see the appropriate specialist as the case may require.

    In some cases, it has also been myself. Contrary to popular belief, Imams too get low iman. The only advantage we have is the knowledge of the scripture with relevant examples of past prophets who have experienced something similar. Reading these stories and seeing similarities helps shake off the feeling and bounce back. Coupled with the fact that I have to constantly remind myself that leaders are meant to lead by example. These two factors help to always make sure that I am not down for too long. It’s also the same scripture by which I motivate myself that I use to help members of my congregation that come seeking help. It becomes easier to help them when you can relate.

    I am going to spend the rest of the day joining Zoom calls. I plan to listen to the lectures that I would have normally attended if I wasn’t staying at home.

    SUNDAY:

    In the masjid, we have an army of Alfas. During Ramadan when we have an increased number of prayers, we rotate who leads the prayers. So, someone leads Ishai, another person leads Taraweeh, another person leads shafi and witr. While another person recites a Juz of the Quran. This division of labour makes it easier for everybody.

    I am the only man in my house. It’s just me, my wife and two daughters. As an imam, even though we no longer gather, it is still my job to encourage members of my congregation over the phone to pray in their own homes. Also, because I am the only man in my house, I am quite literally the imam. So, it means that in addition to leading my congregation virtually, I also have to lead my home. I have found out in the last few days that being the one to lead all these prayers can be exhausting. 

    Today, after praying shafi and witr, I am quite exhausted. This is the first Ramadan I have had to do without being able to delegate. Even if it’s Ishai. Also, what makes it exhausting is that we try to recite half of a Juz at home. For one person leading all of this, it can be tiring. But may Allah make it easy. 

    My favourite meal — rice and stew — is what we have for iftar but it is a struggle to keep my eyes open. After the meal, I go to bed sufficiently exhausted.

    MONDAY:

    Today, I have had time to think over some things. It is now clearer to me why congregational prayers are important.

    As an imam, the last few days made me realise what energy comes from having a crowd praying behind you. The way I feel exhausted after praying taraweeh in the last few days made me realise this.

    I told my wife that in the masjid, I wouldn’t have felt exhausted so soon in Ramadan. It is clear to me that the crowd behind is part of the energizer that makes things easier. 

    When I am leading taraweeh and I know that there are 100 – 150 people behind me, the knowledge of that keeps pushing me. Also, there are people to rotate the responsibilities with. However, in this case, we are only four at home praying. I have found out that the energizer is missing and that’s why I feel tired easily.

    Zoom has been really helpful with keeping in touch and communal feeling, but you can’t pray via Zoom. I am looking forward to things going back to normal. I miss my congregation, I miss the energy they give me. That energy has never been more important than during this Ramadan.


    Glossary:

    Imam – The person who leads prayers in a mosque.

    Rakat – Single unit of Islamic prayer.

    Dua – Literally meaning invocation, is an act of supplication. The term is derived from an Arabic word meaning to ‘call out’ or to ‘summon’, and Muslims regard this as a profound act of worship.

    Fajr – The Fajr prayer is the first of the five daily prayers (salah) performed daily by practicing Muslims. 

    Masjid – Mosque.

    Madrasa – A school for Islamic instruction.

    Alfa – Islamic scholar.

    Iman – Faith.

    Sharia – Islamic canonical law based on the teachings of the Quran and the traditions of the Prophet (Hadith and Sunna), prescribing both religious and secular duties and sometimes retributive penalties for lawbreaking. 

    Taraweeh – Additional ritual prayers performed by Muslims at night after the Isha prayer during the holy month of Ramadan. It involves reading one Juz’ (Arabic: جُزْءْ, i.e a section of the Quran 1/30 its length, which generally takes somewhere between 20-60 minutes), and from 8 to 10 cycles of Raka’ah, lasting well over an hour in total.

    Iftar – The meal eaten by Muslims after sunset during Ramadan.

    Juz – A juzʼ is one of thirty parts of varying lengths into which the Quran is divided. It takes 30 – 60 minutes to finish reciting one.

    Ishai – This is the night-time daily prayer performed by practicing Muslims.


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life Of” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, don’t hesitate to reach out. Reach out to me: hassan@bigcabal.com if you want to be featured on this series.

  • Covid-19 Nigeria Update: Buhari Extends Lockdown By 14 Days

    What is a “Covid-19 Nigeria update“? We live in uncertain times and that can be scary. What if we promised you some form of certainty? Every day by 12 noon, we’ll bring you the latest updates on the fight against the Covid-19, both in Nigeria and Africa.


    Before we get into the Covid-19 Nigeria update for the day, here’s a rundown of all the important things President Buhari said in his address to Nigerians yesterday, April 13, 2020.

    You’ll recall that on March 29, about 14 days ago, President Buhari ordered a lockdown in Lagos, Ogun and the FCT. Well, the president addressed the country again and announced the extension of the lockdown in Lagos state, Ogun state and FCT by two more weeks. Other than that, here are the other things he said:

    • We need to make sacrifices to limit the spread of Covid-19
    • The level of compliance to the Covid-19 guidelines have been good across Nigeria.
    • In the first 14 days of the lockdown, the nation was able to implement comprehensive public health measures and intensified testing, identification and so much more.
    • Testing capacity is at 1,500 tests per day.
    • 7000 healthcare workers have been trained in infection prevention and control.
    • 1000 patients can be admitted in several treatment centers in Lagos and Abuja.
    • Now that land and airport borders have been closed, the number of rising cases are mostly person-to-person contact.
    • He has signed the Quarantine order.
    • The government has put on palliative measures such as food distribution and cash transfers.
    • Covid-19 is not a joke.

    You can find more details on his speech here:

    Now for the numbers:

    Covid-19 Nigeria Update from the past 24 hours:

    The numbers in Nigeria have been on a steady increase. As of March 17, 2020 – almost a month ago – there were only three cases but as of today, April 14, 2020, there are 343 confirmed cases. Thankfully, 91 people have been discharged. Unfortunately, there have been 10 deaths. In the last 24 hours, the NCDC reports that there are 20 new cases:

    • 13 in Lagos
    • 2 in Edo
    • 2 in Kano
    • 2 in Ogun
    • 1 in Ondo

    See their full report here.

    Covid-19 Nigeria Update

    NCDC also provided Covid-19 Nigeria update on the states where Covid-19 is present. Currently, it is present in 20 out of 36 states. Here’s a rundown of the numbers:

    Covid-19 Nigeria Update

    On a bigger African scale, how are we doing?

    According to new reports yesterday, April 13, 2020, Melinda Gates, wife of billionaire Bill Gates said that if the world does not act fast enough, then there will be dead bodies all over the streets of Africa. While she might have said this in good fate, it easily doesn’t come off as a statement made out of concern. Especially since the data confirms that Africa is fairing better than a few other continents.

    According to Coronafacts.africa, there are 15,413 cases in Africa. See below:

    Covid-19 Nigeria Update

    African leaders are doing their best to enforce social distancing, lockdowns and isolation in their countries.

    Today’s dilemma or palava (or whatever you choose to call it):

    Unrest in Lagos and Ogun state have increased in the past few days with armed robbers going from community to community, robbing houses, killing and raping people. If there’s any correlation to the lockdown, we can’t exactly pinpoint yet. However, it is happening and Nigerians are afraid that in addition to the fear of getting Covid-19, there’s the fear of being robbed. We do hope that the government addresses it and implements security measures to put it in control ASAP.

    Drinking Pepper Soup With Lime Or Lemon Will Flush Out The Virus: Myth or Fact?

    Definitely Myth. If you have a Nigerian parent, uncle or aunty, you may have come across this or a similar “cure” . While Pepper has anti-oxidants and lemon and lime contain high amounts of Vitamin – and all three are generally good for the body – there is NO EVIDENCE to support that they will flush out the virus in someone that has been infected.

    Today’s Pro tip:

    In the words of a wise man, “This is no joke”. Do not peddle wrong information and stay at home. It’s only for a short time. We will beat this.

    Stay updated:

    Head over to Zikoko’s brand new site www.coronafacts.africa for the latest and factual news on the efforts against Coronavirus.

    Meanwhile…

    Read how a Nigerian couple is coping with the lockdown after postponing their wedding due to Covid-19 and how one Nigerian nurse in the frontlines is brave enough to wake up every day, go to work and help fight this Covid-19.


    Remember, when you come back tomorrow by 12 pm, we’ll have a new Covid-19 Nigeria update with fresh insights and good news for you.

  • A Week In The Life Of A Nurse On The COVID-19 Frontlines

    “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    Today’s subject is *Agnes, a nurse currently caring for Covid patients. She tells us her fears as a young person working in close contact with an infectious disease.

     MONDAY:

    I did not sleep all night. My mind keeps playing the different scenarios that can happen before this pandemic is over. “What if I get infected?”  “What if I make a mistake and infect my family?”

    I don’t feel like going to work today.

    My parents are really supportive. My dad reminds me that my job is a humanitarian service. My mum tells me to just go and she prays for me. This gives me the positive reinforcement I need to leave the house.

    Once I get into the ward, all my fears melt away. Seeing the patients gives me ginger to work and I immediately swing into action.

    One of my patients is reluctant to take his drugs but I encourage him. He tells me that he knows he doesn’t have a choice but it’s just so difficult. He is tired of staying indoors, not being able to see his family, and constantly taking medications. I try to empathize with him but I realise that I can’t completely understand what he’s going through. I have the freedom to go and come as I want. I also get to see my family, but he’s stuck inside.

    On my way home after work, I can’t stop thinking about the patient. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be alone so I say a silent prayer for him. I pray that God comforts him.

    My family is excited to see that I made it back alive. I am scared of infecting them so I tell them to keep their distance. I undress before entering and fold my clothes along with my scrubs from work.

    I have my bath again. This is the third time today because I can’t take any chances. I soak both my casual clothes and scrubs in bleach without bothering to separate them. I just want to make sure that they are disinfected. After I have scrubbed to my satisfaction, I go to greet my family members.

     TUESDAY: 

    It’s easier to go to work today. I am motivated by the réalisation that the patients have nobody; they only have us, the health workers. They can’t see their family and they can’t leave the hospital.

    I am taking danfo to work and as an extra precaution, I pay for the whole seat. I am trying to separate myself and make sure I don’t infect anyone. If I seclude myself from other people on the bus, they have lower chances of getting infected.

    On my way to work, I see people in clusters and I am annoyed. Some people are even jogging. Can’t they jog in their house? It makes me wonder if people are not listening to the news about how this illness spreads. I am risking my life to care for patients and to make sure the discharge rate increases and some people think this is the right time to jog.

    I need a distraction from the annoyance I feel before I get to work. I open social media and I see a video from the discharged patients thanking the healthcare workers. They are dancing and they look genuinely happy. This makes me happy and improves my mood. At least, some Nigerians appreciate my work. I am not working in vain.

     WEDNESDAY:

    Wearing the Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) is not child’s play. It is very uncomfortable.

    COVID-19 nurse

    Face shield on the person in white.

    The first step is to wash my hands. Then, I get two pairs of gloves. I wear the first pair of gloves. Next, I wear a disposable cap. After that, I wear an N95 respirator, then a regular face mask on top of it. The N95 respirator holds my disposable cap in place. Then I wear the PPE gown. 

    COVID-19 nurse

    N95 facemask.

    Next, I wear a face shield. This protects my eyes and makes sure my face is covered against splashes from body fluid. Then, I make a small hole in the sleeve of my gown and put my thumb through it. This prevents my gown from drawing back when I am attending to the patient as this can leave me exposed. Then, I wear the second pair of gloves over the first with the thumb sticking through the hole.

    Finally, I wear my knee-length boots. Once I am done, I tell my colleague to check for space and to make sure that there are no mistakes.

    It’s so hot in all these layers of clothing. It’s even harder walking in the boots. But I have no choice. 

    After taking this precautionary step, I am annoyed when I read a statement by a journalist claiming three nurses in my hospital have been infected. It’s annoying because they haven’t taken any health worker samples for testing, so how can they even be positive?

    Also, the news is making my family members panic and they have been calling me all day. They keep asking “Are you fine?” “Are you part of the people infected?” 

    I spend the rest of the day reassuring them that I am fine and this only stresses me further. Every day I go to work is already stressful enough for them. It’s unfair to add the rumour of health workers getting infected to their fear. 

    Can today just end? I just want to go home and watch Boys Over Flowers, my favorite Korean series. I am in serious need of a distraction. 

    THURSDAY:

    Today, in the ward, my face shield falls off. I am too shocked to process anything. I keep thinking, “Is this how I die?” All I remember is my superior telling me to quickly leave the isolation ward. My legs carry me outside but I am not present. I wash my face, arms, and neck with chlorine water. The one we use to disinfect our PPE before entering the ward. Then, I take more chlorine water and I go have my bath with it.

    I decide to sleep in a hotel tonight. I can’t go home. At the hotel, I have another bath with chlorine water. By the time I am done scrubbing, my eyes are very red. I look like I have either just finished smoking or crying.

    My bosses keep calling and I can’t stop asking them if I will die. I tell them that I feel like dying but they keep reassuring me that I won’t die. I don’t know why they are more confident than I am. They also tell me to take some time off work to rest.

    I can’t tell my parents the real reason I am not coming home so I make up an excuse. I know if I tell my mum, she’ll wake me up in the middle of the night to pray for me and I will end up not sleeping.

    Honestly, I really just need to sleep. I can’t wait for all this to end.

    FRIDAY:

    After this pandemic is over, my colleagues and I need to see a psychologist. Is it normal to dread going to work? To be uncertain of what will happen when you get to work: How many patients will come in today? What will happen today?

    It’s worse when I am on night shift because all the admissions come in the middle of the night. Because of the stigma, people wait till the cover of dark before asking the ambulance to come pick them. Since everyone is thinking the same way and trying to avoid stigma, the night shifts are intense. During my last night shift, we admitted seven patients at once. I wanted to die from the stress.

    I don’t blame these patients too. I remember a couple that tested positive for the virus but their kids were negative. Because the whole family knew about their diagnosis, nobody wanted to take in their children. They were all scared that the test results were fake. So, the poor kids had to go stay with their parents’ colleagues from work. That’s when the stigma patients face dawned on me.

    All of this only adds up to make my work ten times harder. At least today, I get to chat and listen to music and not think of work. I am less scared today than I was yesterday.

    SATURDAY:

    I call my family members today to let them know that I am still alive. I haven’t spoken to them since Thursday. I will be going home today. I am alive today so let me spend time with my family. I have been boosting my immune system and scrubbing my body with chlorine.

    I cherish any free time I have now and I want to spend it with them. God forbid, if I go to work one day and someone calls my parents that something has happened to me, how will they take it? So, the least I can do is spend as much time with them as possible.

    I considered getting a will when the government first increased my salary for being a part of the COVID-19 fight. But then I realised that I don’t need one. My parents know all the passwords to my ATM cards. My sibling is my next of kin.

    Also, only two people in this world owe me money and it doesn’t count. The first person is a childhood friend and I feel indebted to the person. Even if I die, it’s money my ghost can forget. The second person is my mum and she has done far more than that for me. She even deserves more. I can’t now start going to write in my will that “Mummy owes me this.”

    After considering all of this, I just can’t be bothered. I just keep praying that all of us see it out alive. From Nigeria to me, to my colleagues at the frontlines, to my family members.

    For now, let me prepare to go home.

     SUNDAY:

    No church today. But there hasn’t been church service for me in a while. When the pandemic first hit Nigeria, I was nursing COVID-19 patients, so, instead of entering the church on Sundays, I would stay outside in a secluded place and worship from a distance. I went to church because I needed that communal feeling of worship. After the service, I would leave before everyone. I was so worried about infecting anyone that I avoided mixing with the other worshippers.

    Today, I say a silent prayer. I pray that God should save me. I am not married. I have not given birth and I am playing with a pandemic. I have a lot of things I haven’t yet done. I want to learn how to drive. I want to travel; I want to experience the fashion in Korea. I want to experience their culture. I keep watching it in their series and I want to see it in person. I also want to visit my sister’s kids because I have never met them in person. But, most importantly, I look forward to getting married. Even though I left my last boyfriend because he was not serious, I am still open to love. 

    Tomorrow, I go again.


    This story was edited for clarity. Some details have been changed to protect the identity of the subject.


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life Of” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, don’t hesitate to reach out. Reach out to me: hassan@bigcabal.com if you want to be featured on this series.

  • COVID 19 Update: Nigeria Is Also Responding To An Outbreak Of Lassa Fever

    We live in uncertain times and that can be scary. What if we promised you some form of certainty? Every day by 12 noon, we’ll bring you the latest updates on the fight against the Covid-19, both in Nigeria and Africa.


    Nigeria’s Update from the past 24 hours:

    As of yesterday, 12/04/2020, these are the number of reported cases in Nigeria.

    The discharge rate is extremely inspiring and is also a source of hope.

    Africa’s Stats:

    Visit www.coronafacts.africa for the latest updates on the fight against Corona in Africa.

    Today’s dilemma:

    Lassa fever is back in Nigeria. This is the worst time for us to battle two highly infectious diseases at once.

    Follow the NCDC for adequate tips and information on how to stay safe.

    Today’s myth debunked:

    There is currently no vaccine for the Coronavirus. Please disregard all rumors.

    Read the full thing here.

    Zikoko’s pro-tip of the day:

    Count all the things you are grateful for. A positive mindset will help during these trying times.

    Stay updated:

    Head over to Zikoko’s brand new site www.coronafacts.africa for the latest and factual news on the efforts against Coronavirus.

  • COVID-19 Update: Will There Be A Nationwide Lockdown?

    We live in uncertain times and that can be scary. What if we promised you some form of certainty? Every day by 12 noon, we’ll bring you the latest updates on the fight against the COVID-19, both in Nigeria and Africa.


    Nigeria’s Update from the past 24 hours:

    As of yesterday, 9/04/2020, these are the number of reported cases in Nigeria.

    Compared to yesterday, the discharge stats are encouraging.

    Africa’s Stats:

    Visit www.coronafacts.africa for the latest updates on the fight against Corona in Africa.

    Today’s dilemma:

    As part of the efforts by the Nigerian Government to stop the spread of COVID-19, is there going to be a nationwide lockdown? We’ll know after the meeting today with President Buhari.

    Read the full thing here.

    The Ministry of Power also had this to say:

    https://twitter.com/PowerMinNigeria/status/1248520355846721536?s=20

    Nigeria, which way?

    Zikoko’s pro-tip of the day:

    Follow one or more of these tips to boost your immunity. Stay at home but also stay healthy.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/B-wyHYwFVE8/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

    Stay updated:

    Head over to Zikoko’s brand new site www.coronafacts.africa for the latest and factual news on the efforts against Coronavirus.

  • COVID-19 Update: Chinese Doctors And More Protective Equipment Arrive In Nigeria

    We live in uncertain times and that can be scary. What if we promised you some form of certainty? Every day by 12 noon, we’ll bring you the latest updates on the fight against the COVID-19, both in Nigeria and Africa


    Nigeria’s Update from the past 24 hours:

    As of yesterday, 8/04/2020, these are the number of reported cases in Nigeria.

    There is an increase in the number of new cases when compared to yesterday’s numbers.

    Africa’s Stats:

    Covid-19

    Visit www.coronafacts.africa for the latest updates on the fight against Corona in Africa.

    Equipment and personnel update:

    As part of its effort to support the fight against this pandemic, China is sending medical delegates to African countries. Despite protests from the Nigerian Medical Association, the party sent to Nigeria landed yesterday. Along with manpower and expertise, they also brought along essential equipment Nigeria desperately needs.

    Covid-19
    Covid-19

    Read the full thing here.

    Zikoko’s pro-tip of the day:

    Try to sleep as early as you can. Pick a fixed time everyday and turn off all your devices.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/B-rQlD2l3Ts/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

    Stay updated:

    Head over to Zikoko’s brand new site www.coronafacts.africa for the latest and factual news on the efforts against Coronavirus.

    Today’s distraction:

    We know the news can be overwhelming so why not watch this to relax a bit.


    Come back tomorrow by 12 pm for more updates and tips on COVID-19. We will beat this!

  • COVID-19 Update: There Are 6 New Cases In Nigeria And Here’s What We Know

    We live in uncertain times and that can be scary. What if we promised you some form of certainty? Every day by 12 noon, we’ll bring you the latest updates on the fight against the Covid-19, both in Nigeria and globally.


    Covid 19 update in Nigeria

    Nigeria’s Update from the past 24 hours:

    As of yesterday, 6/04/2020, these are the number of reported cases in Nigeria.

    The discharge ratio has increased which is encouraging, but there is also an increase in the number of new cases. We wait and observe.

    Worldwide stats:

    We are experiencing a worldwide increase in both new cases and death rates.

    Covid update in Nigeria

    Today’s good news:

    In the battle against the greatest virus which is misinformation, this is good news:

    Covid 19 update in Nigeria

    One giant leap for the truth. Read the full thing here.

    Zikoko’s pro-tip for the day:

    Stay home if you have no important reason to leave your house today. Here are some tips on how to occupy your time.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/B-rQlD2l3Ts/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

    Stay updated:

    Stay updated with the latest and factually correct news on COVID-19 by visiting Coronafacts.africa. If you need a reason to visit, just know that we are endorsed by the Africa Centre for Disease Control. 😎

    Because we love you:

    We made some of the best explainer videos in various languages like Yoruba, Pidgin, Hausa, Igbo, Esan. Click here to get started.


    Come back tomorrow by 12 pm for more updates and tips on COVID-19. We will beat this!

  • COVID-19 Update: There Are 10 New Cases In Nigeria And Here’s What We Know

    We live in uncertain times and that can be scary. What if we promised you some form of certainty? Every day by 12 noon, we’ll bring you the latest updates on the fight against the Covid-19, both in Nigeria and Africa.


    The weekend sure went by quickly. In one weekend, we got an increase in the number of reported COVID-19 cases in Nigeria. We also got a scandal by the ambassador for the Nigeria Centre for Disease Control. It definitely wasn’t boring for such a stay at home weekend.

    Nigerian Update from the past 24 hours:

    As at yesterday, 5/04/2020, these are the number of reported cases in Nigeria.

    The discharge ratio is a source of hope. It means this disease is beatable and that in itself is comforting.

    Worldwide stats:

    The United States has the highest number of reported cases and here’s what that looks like:

    Covid19

    We sure hope they come out of this stronger and better.

    Today’s misinformation:

    There’s a new kind of virus which is even worse than the COVID-19 – Misinformation virus.

    Covid19

    It’s sad that in this age of fear and uncertainty, some people are spreading misinformation and inciting panic. The latest wave is that 5G is directly linked to the Coronavirus. This is untrue as there is no correlation whatsoever.

    Here’s some clarification from the Nigerian Communications Commission debunking myths about 5G causing the Coronavirus.

    Covid19

    Read the full thing here.

    Zikoko’s Pro-tip of the day:

    Try to disconnect from stressors (the internet) for a few hours every day so you can have non-COVID thoughts. This is a good place to start.

    Stay updated:

    Stay updated with the latest and factually correct news on COVID-19 by visiting Coronafacts.africa. If you need a reason to visit, just know that we are endorsed by the Africa Centre for Disease Control. 😎

    By the way,

    We have some of the best explainer videos in various languages like Yoruba, Pidgin, Hausa, Igbo, Esan. Click here to get started.


    Come back tomorrow by 12 pm for more updates and tips on COVID-19. We will beat this!

  • A City On Lockdown: Lagos Without People
    Lagos Without People
    Lekki Epe Expressway from the pedestrian bridge by Lekki Phase 1.

    This is what Lagos without people looks like: there are no cars, so roads are empty, there are no people hustling to get buses to get to work on time, there are no hawkers, no school children, no buses.

    I kid you not, the photo above is a road in Lagos, specifically the Lekki Epe Expressway. You’ll only ever see this road this clear during the day a few times in year: Sunday mornings and some public holidays like Christmas or New Year’s. Certainly not on a normal weekday — which was when the photo was taken.

    Where did everyone go?

    Gombe state 100m computers

    You probably already know this, but a recap is useful nonetheless: a week ago, the Nigerian President, President Buhari addressed Nigeria on the Covid-19 situation and declared a lockdown in Lagos, Abuja and Ogun state due to the rising cases of Covid-19 in these three states. Since then, these three states — especially Lagos the epicenter of traffic — have seen a tremendous change.

    Oh there’s more where that came from. Do you recognise any of these places without people or cars?

    Here are three of the hottest spots for human and vehicle traffic in Lagos as documented by Ikem Emelieze:

    Ikoyi, Lagos:

    Lagos Without People
    Falomo underbrige, Ikoyi.
    Lagos Without People
    Road Block at Falomo roundabout
    Lagos State Waterways, Ikoyi and Falomo Bridge

    Victoria Island:

    Lagos Without People
    Civic Center, VI
    Lagos Without People
    Sheraton Four Points, Oniru
    Lagos Without People
    Police car at Oniru with run-flat tires
    Lagos Without People
    Oriental Hotel
    Moil Headquarters, Victoria Island.

    Lekki:

    Lekki Phase 1
    Lekki toll booth
    Lekki
    Tantalizer’s Lekki

    Going by these photos, Lagos without people looks like the stuff dreams are made of. Can someone tell the Jagaban to include this in the megacity plan?

    If you’d like to share photos of your street, road or city post-lockdown from anywhere at all in Nigeria, here’s how: fill this form to do this and we’ll reach out to you. Shout out to Ikem Emelieze for the photos!

  • 7 Nigerians Share How Coronavirus Has Affected Their Mental Health

    The coronavirus pandemic has affected the world in many very clear and undeniable ways — ranging from loss of life to the devastating economic impact — but one of the less visible ways it has truly taken a toll is on a lot of people’s mental well-being.

    From the fear and anxiety that comes with this much uncertainty to the feeling of loneliness that has been exacerbated by self-isolation and social distancing, we asked seven Nigerians to share how the virus has affected their mental health.

    Halima, 29 — My Meds Aren’t Working

    My mental health has been in shambles for a while now — I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. At least before the virus, I was seeing some improvement because of my meds. I was actually hoping to go off the drugs by the end of this year, but it looks like that won’t be happening.

    My drugs don’t even seem to be working because I am always anxious. I struggle to get out of bed and carry out my daily tasks. I try to dance to one song at least once a day and I’ve stopped working out. If I’m going to die, I might as well go out with a fat booty and food in my belly.

    Sarah, 32 — I Attended The AMVCA

    I attended AMVCA, so I’ve been anxious for a while now. I was at work when the news that we could have been infected officially broke. I had to keep working even though my chest had sunk to the bottom of my stomach. I’m pre-diabetic, so I started panicking about my chances.

    It also did not help that 7 days after the event, I had a fever, sore throat and dry cough. I called NCDC’s Lagos team and they promised to come to take my sample the next day, but they didn’t. I got a call, instead, asking for my symptoms. They said it was mild and told me to self-isolate.

    Self-isolation itself has been easy since I like staying at home. My anxiety has also mostly disappeared. It started with the rumours, got worse with my symptoms and peaked with the announcement. Right now, all that really keeps me up is whether I’ll still have a job when all of this is over.

    Tolu, 25 — I’m Scared I Will End Myself

    I’ve been struggling with depression for the past couple of years, as well as recurring suicidal thoughts. I’ve also attempted to take my own life in the past. This experience has definitely worsened it because I have no way to escape my own head. 

    I feel trapped and sometimes I can’t breathe — I call it existential claustrophobia. Too much screen time makes my head hurt, and I’m stuck isolating with my parents, who are prayer warriors. I’m afraid that if this doesn’t end soon, I will end myself.

    Jimi, 30 — My Anxiety Is Back

    I’ve struggled with anxiety for most of my life — I used to be a chronic nail-biter and I’d always sweat profusely. It finally reduced when I told my family I was gay and dropped my unhealthy dependency on drugs. Since this pandemic started, my anxiety has been back up.

    I had the stomach flu the other day. It turned into diarrhoea and a slight pain in my upper stomach — not even my chest — and I was fully panicking. I started thinking about my life and cried for almost 30 minutes. This whole experience has really put a lot of things into perspective for me.

    Ada, 23 — I Had My First-Ever Panic Attack

    I had my first-ever panic attack last week. I was on the HouseParty app with my friends when I started struggling to breathe. I walked to my balcony to get air, but I still couldn’t draw in enough. My heart started racing, and I was certain that I was going to die. 

    Luckily, my friend helped calm me down. The next day, I learned what it was. I’m meant to go for my MBA in September, and I’m worried it won’t happen. I’m also very lonely because my family is far away. So, I’ve just been worrying a lot more, and I think that’s what caused the attack.

    Deola, 31 — I’m The Calmest I’ve Been In Years

    In the past, I’ve suffered from anxiety. I tend to call it high-functioning anxiety because it was never crippling to the point where I couldn’t get out of bed. My symptoms were an inability to sleep or shut my mind off, worrying that bad things would happen, memory loss and constant fatigue. 

    I saw a therapist a few years ago and was diagnosed with anxiety and moderate depression. I was told to make lifestyle changes, and I have been working on that for a few years. It’s not been easy, but I see progress. I’m now able to tell when a funk is coming and work on it before it escalates.

    Surprisingly, while I am concerned about the virus, I am the calmest I’ve been in years. I’m a germaphobe, so I can finally let my freak flag fly. I’ve also been working remotely since January, so I’m used to that too. This pandemic has taught me I can’t control everything, and I’m ok with that.

    Folake, 27 — My Brain Went Into Overdrive

    I’ve always struggled with bouts of anxiety and depression. So, with each new update about the virus, my anxiety kept rising and I couldn’t function at work. I also just moved to a new place where I don’t know anyone, so this made me feel even lonelier. I was sure I’d get it and die alone in my house.

    My brain was in overdrive. I was scared of how a full lockdown would breed criminals, and I’d definitely be robbed, raped or killed. Thankfully, I called a friend and he basically calmed me down. Then I started contacting more friends, and the more relaxed everyone seemed, the calmer I got.

  • 10 Things We Look Foward To After The Pandemic Is Over

    If there’s one lesson from this period, it’s that life comes at you fast. And now, we have decided to allow enjoyment to do the same.

    When this storm passes, here is a list of things we look forward to:

    1) Going outside and not living like the people in Birdbox.

    The ghetto.

    2) Peace of mind

    Tired of thinking every cough or sneeze is Miss Rona announcing her presence.

    3) Traveling.

    Take me on a magic carpet ride.

    4) Eating roadside food.

    My precious.

    5) Entering danfo once again.

    Taxify and Uber, e go be.

    6) Hugging my favourite people in the world.

    Social distancing 1 – 0 Me.

    7) Some Government approved fornication.

    It’s time for a baby to make some babies.

    8) Hating on colleagues in real-life and not virtually.

    Beef is just better in person.

    9) Being able to lie that you aren’t home.

    This lie is currently undergoing construction.

    10) Kissing.

    how good of a kisser are you?

    The chance to comfortably swap saliva with anyone without having to worry about infected spit.

    What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

  • #BuhariChallenge Is Trending On Twitter, And We Can’t Stop Laughing

    Nigerians. Buhari. Buhari’s P.R team. Medical visits.

    Long ago, Nigerians lived together in some form of harmony, then everything changed when Buhari’s P.R team attacked. Only the President(Buhari), master of matters of national importance, could correct this impression, but when Nigerians needed him the most, he vanished.

    A couple of days passed and Nigerians have discovered a new President, a president named #Buharichallenge, and although his presidency skills are great, there’s a lot to learn before #Buharichallenge can rule anyone. But Nigerians believe #Buharichallenge can save Nigeria.

    Protip: Read that to the tune of Last Airbender’s opening narration.

    Buhari Zikoko

    It all started with Nigerians asking for President Buhari to address the nation on rumours of him contracting Covid-19 from his aide, Abba Kyari. Nigerians waited in vain for any form of response until the President’s P.R team released this photo as the excuse for the silence.

    And like the proverbial last straw that broke the camel’s back, Nigerians on Twitter lost all decorum and started a #Buharichallenge. It is made up of fictional situations that never happened. Much like the alleged photo the P.R team tweeted.

    Here are some of the replies to the photo:

    1) Nooooooo.

    2) Nigerians have no chill.

    https://twitter.com/ikoyikid/status/1243297246533300227?s=20

    3) I hate Twitter.

    4) Crying.

    5) Completely out of pocket.

    https://twitter.com/destydan2012/status/1243344597104955393?s=20

    6) Father, please forgive them for they know not what they do.

    https://twitter.com/boykarh/status/1243297249091821571?s=20

    7) Social distancing is important!

    8) Tired of Nigerians at this point.

    9) Teacher don’t teach me nonsense!

    10) Finally, some good news.

    What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

  • 7 People Self-Isolating With Their Partner Share Their Experience

    Self-isolating with your partner is probably not how you imagined the third month of 2020 would pan out. But Coronavirus happened — is happening — and we have to do the right thing to stay safe and alive. As much as we love our partners, waking up to them, seeing them every second of the day, working with them from our homes is still remarkably different from anything we’re used to.

    With this in mind, we decided to ask seven Nigerians about their experience self-isolating with their partner. From marathon sex to unnecessary arguments, here are the answers we got.

    Lola, 28/Female/Recently Married:

    Self-isolating with partner

    So I’m married but the peculiar thing is my husband and I don’t stay together because of work. He comes home every Friday and goes on Monday. Enter the Ronnies and ghen ghen, everything changed. He’s been home since last week Thursday and one thing I know is a baby is going to come out of this thing even though baby wasn’t on my vision board this 2020.

    Secondly, I don’t know why I never noticed he’s a three meal a day man. He doesn’t miss any. Luckily he’s self sufficient and gets his breakfast himself while I like to spend the early parts of my day working. But I’m worried about the food. What will happen when it finishes now. I shopped based on my style of 0 – 1 – 0.5 One weird thing for me is how he likes to write on surfaces. We have a home office yea, and we’ve got whiteboards he uses but Uncle has taken this thing further- his scribbles have taken over the entire surface of our work table. It’s like graffiti on it right now and I’ve been asked (begged) not to clean anything.

    The best thing about self-isolating with my partner has been this: for us to have good deep sleep and not get restless because of paranoia (at the beginning, we both couldn’t sleep cos of fear), he gets us to watch old 90s movies late into the night, while getting drunk on scotch and then we proceed to do the thing which the lord has sanctified. Very vigorously I must add. Sleep is sure after but so is the baby thing. One thing I know is after this thing, it’s gonna be harder going back to status quo.

    Micheal, 24/Male/In A Relationship – Nine Months

    My summary of this experience in one sentence: she’s a little crackhead, I want to throw her away but I can’t because I love her. Let me explain. On night one, we had a fight. She was sleeping and I was working. She then woke up and said I was disturbing her; I left the room for her – I went to the parlour to continue what I was doing. After a while, she came to the parlour and asked why I left her alone, that I wasn’t playing with her — I mean, isn’t it only crackheads that stay stuff like this. So I said, ma, you were asleep. It was only the next day that she realised she was about to come on her period and that was why she was fighting me. Now I’m treating my partner like a baby. A big baby that would just randomly start dancing in front of my computer to distract me.

    I admit that I have my own. Self-isolating with your partner teaches you about yourself and your partner. Like me now, I know I don’t have sense like that, but I didn’t know it was bad like that. Sometimes, I’d just randomly spank her when she’s working. It’s not my fault that she’s been dressed like a plumber since our self-isolation began. In all, it’s actually not a new experience. We’ve lived together for stretches at a time and I know there’s nothing I can’t handle. But sha, if you know someone buying crackheads, tell me because I’ll soon put this one up for sale.

    Ada, 24/Female/In A Relationship

    Self-isolating with partner

    For me, self-isolating with my partner has been great. We have successfully divided the tasks in the house so both of us know who is doing what and when. She talks to herself while she’s working — I do it too, but I only just realised that that’s how she works. She also checks on me to make sure I’m not overwhelmed with work.

    We haven’t had sex yet. I’m horny but she has a lot of work so I’m respecting that. Arguments are same as usual. We play a lot more, teasing each other, making impressions of our cat.

    Tope, 22/Female/In A Relationship

    Self-isolating with partner

    After my company granted remote work, I immediately moved in with my partner. We had talked about it prior and we agreed we’d self-isolate together. During the first five days, body was catching us and we did it every chance we got. Things slowed down and became boring from day six and we’ve had three serious arguments for the first time in our relationship since then. I also noticed a few interesting and annoying things about him and he did too. We used to spend weekends together before but they didn’t seem like enough time for us to notice the things we’ve noticed during this isolation.

    This entire thing has also given me a glance at what marriage could be like. Since we stopped having sex after doing it like rabbits consecutively for 5 days, he has been asking for it but I’m so drained. This also has given me a glance at why men say they cheat because their wives aren’t giving it to them. It’s all a lot but I’m happy I get to experience all of this with him. I’m certain our relationship will come out of isolation better than it went in. Self-isolating with your partner is a huge test for couples who don’t usually live together.

    Tunde, 29/Male/Engaged

    Self-isolating with partner

    We started self-isolating a week ago. It’s also our first time living together. We’ve had our engagement, but haven’t gone to registry. She had to fight her parents to come and stay with me — I mean, we’re technically married, so it’s only right. I was gingered about self-isolating because I had read a foreign article about self-isolating with partners helps the couple.

    We weren’t really having sex before now. So I imagine my shock when self-isolation started and I found out that I’m getting married to a sex machine. We start our morning with sex and end our day with sex. I think that’s the only routine we have been able to pull off so far. One time, I started working earlier than usual. She was still sleeping, so I assumed we won’t be having sex on that morning. Lo and behold, aunty came to the parlour and we did it. It was the same thing during the weekend when I got up early to make breakfast. We have the same energy sexually and that’s super good to know. Should I say thank you corona?

    Daniella, 25/Female/In A Relationship

    Self-isolating with partner

    Since I started self-isolating with my partner, nothing shocking has happened, fortunately. But who knew he watched so much stuff? He must have watched at least 3 series & all their seasons by now. Also, I do not think he has had to listen to more finance speak in forever. I don’t think he realized how much finance finance stuff I did. Sweetest thing has gotta be yummy breakfast which is totally new.

    Mohammed, 36/Male/Married For Almost Six Years

    We’ve been married for a while, but apart from vacations, I don’t think we’ve spent a stretch of time together like this before. Self-isolation is good because she can rest and I can help out in ways that I couldn’t be for. I’ve tried things like cooking for the children and getting them ready in the morning while my wife sleeps in.

    It’s just the children that are stressing me, if not, I actually like this arrangement. Some of my colleagues are complaining about self-isolating with their partners and I laugh at them. I don’t know what the coming days hold, but I’m optimistic that things will go on like this.


  • 5 Things To Avoid As You Self-Isolate From Covid-19

    If you self-isolate from Covid-19 in itself is not enough. We are going up against the pettiest contagious virus known to mankind and it is simply not enough to stay in your houses. While you self isolate there’s a list of things that could still make you vulnerable to COVID-19 so do well to avoid them.

    Don’t Smoke while you self-isolate from Covid-19

    Avoid smoking as you self-isolate from covid-19

    The World Health Organisation recommends that smokers should stay away from their smoking equipment this period. Why? Because you need your lungs in their healthiest shape and your immunity top notch. Smoking compromises on that. So while you self isolate, best to keep the lighters away.

    Junk Food

    Avoid junk as you self-isolate from covid-19

    Again on the immunity scores, now is the time to reach for the veggies and fruits as opposed to the junk you probably prefer. Your body needs all the nutrients you can feed it with. You need to stay healthy.

    Unverified News Sources

    Zikoko- What do avoid while you self isolate

    For your own sanity, stay away from any source of incorrect news about COVID-19. How do you know which is false news? Crosscheck with sources like WHO, Worldometer, NCDC and Zikoko (Yes because we cross check with WHO too).

    No strange foods while you self isolate please

    Avoid eating strange foods as you self-isolate from covid-19

    Because while we are busy fighting an on going pandemic birthed by strange food choices we will very much appreciate it if you do not go on to birth a new one for us.

    No visitors please

    Zikoko- What do avoid while you self isolate

    This is the time for every friend to stay home and enjoy the rent they paid. Just because we are all at home doesn’t mean it is time to start entertaining visitors. Everyone should really stay in their houses.

    And don’t forget to wash your hands or use an alcohol based hand sanitizer as often as you can even as you self isolate. If you’re wondering what to do while indoors we got you covered.

    Click here for some creative ways to keep busy this period.

  • 11 Things Health Workers In Nigeria Can Currently Relate To

    I want to start by giving honor to whom honor is due and that’s by thanking the people on the frontline who are risking exposure to this disease. From community pharmacists to doctors, nurses, lab scientists, physiotherapists, radiographers. Everyone that has to come in contact with patients during this crucial period, salute.

    If you are a health worker in Nigeria, chances are that you can relate to one or more of this:

    1) When you hear “I have a high-grade fever and medicines aren’t working.”

    Refer to LUTH!

    2) When a patient coughs in the consulting room.

    Is this how I die?

    3) The required distance for seeing any patient right now.

    Shout across your complaints.

    4) Your reaction when you see people not staying at home.

    Am I a joke to you?

    5) The look you give when someone enters the Hospital without washing their hands at the entrance.

    I didn’t kill my parents so you won’t kill me. Go back.

    6) How community Pharmacists collect money these days.

    Hope you sha sanitized the money?

    7) When you feel yourself breathing funny.

    Hot eba PRN.

    8) “Come and examine this patient…”

    I am not doing.

    9) “Ahan, why are you wearing a face mask, doctor self dey sick?”

    Respect yourself.

    10) When you want to help everyone but you remember that the Hazard fee is N5,000.

    Affliction will not rise a second time.

    11) You once this whole Corona issue blows over.

    Jaapa season.

  • Quiz: How Well Do You Know Covid-19?

    Covid-19 is one of the biggest things kicking 2020 in the butt. But we’ve decided that we’re going to kick it’s butt back. The first step is having all the right information about this enemy of ours. Take this quiz and find our how well you know the novel coronavirus disease, Covid-19. Pro-tip: Share this with your mum, dad, uncle and aunty.

  • A Week in the Life of an NCDC Call Centre Agent

    “A Week in the Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    Today’s subject is Joke, a call centre agent at the Nigeria Centre for Disease Control (NCDC). She tells us how her life has changed since Coronavirus was first announced and what she looks forward to the most after this is over.

    Coronavirus NCDC


    MONDAY:

    I stand up from bed by 5 am today. I say “stand up” because it’s not voluntary. I prepare my kids for school, cook their breakfast and pack their lunch boxes. My husband drops the children at school, while I prepare for work. All this happens before 8 am, which is my resumption time.

    There was a time I was sure of closing by 4 pm, but since the outbreak of Covid-19, I get off work by 8 pm and I still take work home. I now work round the clock. This means that even when I get home, I still receive messages from people on the night shift asking for help in sieving calls from work. I have to prioritize and ask for further clarification from each caller, before determining whether to escalate the issue to the people on the field or not. So, I get off work physically by 8 pm, but I just replace it with working from home.

    Today is a rollercoaster because we are working hard to keep up with the number of calls. My colleague who worked the Sunday shift hasn’t been able to go home because his conscience can’t stand leaving us with such a large workload. So, somehow, he stays to support us and ends up working a 48-hour shift. This would have been strange to us in the past, but we are living in strange times.

    When I get home, my husband has cooked for the children and I am thankful for that. I am one of the lucky ones who has a husband who is understanding. During this period, he has been extremely supportive and I don’t know how I would cope if he wasn’t. All I do is prepare stew for the week and he cooks and takes care of the children before I get back from work. 

    I am too tired to eat. I just want whatever sleep I can get. If I go to bed now, at least when someone at work calls me by 10 pm, I would have gotten 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

    TUESDAY:

    Every job has its ups and downs. It’s easy to envy other jobs from afar but if they tell you what their job entails, it wouldn’t look so glamorous. I studied Microbiology in university; I was looking for a job relevant to my field of study and that’s why I took this job. 

    This job gives you a thick skin. In a day, you can get up to 40 calls with people just calling to ask if the number is working. Today, I got a call where the person on the other end of the line was quiet. The person listened to me talk without saying anything.  Another person called and said: “So, the line is even working. Una well done.” 

    Coronavirus NCDC


    Over the years, you learn not to throw stones at the person, to just laugh it off.  As part of the customer service training, you learn that you can’t talk back to the person at the other end of the line, and they have a right to their opinion. No matter how annoying. So, I share the “joke” with my colleague and we laugh over it.

    WEDNESDAY:

    I have barely slept for 3 hours. I have been writing and coordinating reports about the outbreak and possible cases to send to the field agents. There was a time that I could go to sleep by 8:30 pm or 9:00 pm with no worries. Nowadays, I’m always worried that if I fall asleep, I will miss any call that comes in. And calls come in at odd times.

    Today, I wake up feeling lethargic. My husband encourages me to get out of bed and to start preparing for work. He has been supportive even though my laptop has literally taken his place for now. He knows that I must show up whether I feel up to it or not… 

    I try not to think about how long I have to do this. I am just going to take this situation one day at a time for my own sake. Although, I am worried that despite all our efforts and advice at the NCDC, Nigerians will not adhere to instructions and the infection will spread and all this stress will be for nothing. 

    Today, I received a call that made my day at work. Someone called saying: “God will bless you, I just want to appreciate the work you people are doing for Nigeria.” I thanked the person on behalf of NCDC but the person added: “I am not praying for NCDC, I am praying for you.” This made me happy. At least someone somewhere appreciates what I am doing and my sleepless nights are not in vain.

    THURSDAY:

    Another thing I have also learned in this job is to separate home personality from work personality. At home, I am a mother, a wife. At work, I am a worker. I give each part its due diligence and that’s why today is painful for me because I know how much I give for each role.

    I got a call and in between all the pleasantries and asking how I could be of assistance, the caller goes: “Please, don’t ask me what you can do for me. You and the government are wicked and stupid. I know there is no Coronavirus and you are joining the government to eat money when people are dying of hunger. Thunder fire your mouth.” 

    The worst part for me was how helpless I was. I could neither cut the call nor respond. I had to calmly sit through the insults until the caller was done. 

    After the call was over, I went out of the connect centre to the corridor and started to scream. “What sort of rubbish is this? Why would someone be so mean when I am just trying to do my best? Even as I am on the frontline, I am not sure whether I will get this illness or not, yet I still show up to play my part. Why would someone think this is a joke?” I let it all out before returning to the connect center calmer and lighter.

    I scream because I can’t take the anger home. Over the years, I have learned to separate both lives if I want to strike a balance. I have little children at home aged 11, 8 and 6 who don’t know better. I don’t want to go back home as a different person from the one that left in the morning. I don’t want to be the person that was all smiles and cracking jokes in the morning and is now blank and edgy after work. If I am always angry and irritable, my children will run away from me once I get home. 

    FRIDAY:

    These days I don’t even think of unwinding. In the past, I would relax by either going to watch a movie, going to visit a friend, or playing with my kids. Even if there was no social distancing, where is the time?

    There’s no time to unwind because when I get even small breathing space from work, I am thinking of my family. How to make sure they aren’t affected too much by my current busy schedule. What should I buy in the house? The children, how will they survive this week? I am trying to make things as “normal” as I possibly can.

    I don’t even have the time to be afraid because fear can even kill more than the disease. Over time, I have learned that whatever will happen will happen regardless of whether you are afraid or not. All you can do is get as much information as you can on prevention, adhere to it, and trust God. 

    Also, because of the kind of person that I am, I don’t like things that I do to fail. This means panic comes last to my mind and I just do whatever needs to be done because my job is duty calling. I just know that I won’t always do this forever and there will come a time when I will rest and unwind. 

    But right now, I just want to go home and take a cold shower.

    SATURDAY:

    There’s training at work today. We are bringing on more people to help with the call centre effort and managing the numerous calls we receive every day. Before this outbreak, we could conveniently handle the workload, but now, we need more hands so we don’t burn out.

    Coronavirus NCDC


    There is a chain of reporting which we follow. The other call centre agents compile their reports to me along with suspected cases who have called in and have been thoroughly vetted based on travel history and symptoms. I then compile and escalate this report to the state epidemiologist. Every state has an epidemiologist who then notifies the Disease Surveillance and Notification Officer at the local government level. This is the person who goes to the house address to verify the claims and then reports to the state epidemiologist who then reports back to the NCDC. 

    I am still on duty today even after the training and will probably take work home. Thank goodness I don’t have to come in tomorrow.

    SUNDAY:

    Well, there is no church service today so I can cook for the week. Sundays used to be my day of rest. I could afford to sleep in the afternoon after church. But now, I use it to prepare meals for the week so that my family will not be stranded. 

    What I most look forward to when this is all over is going on leave for like 2 weeks. Just travelling to a place where all I have to do is sleep, wake, eat and not talk too much. All this talking every day at work is making my throat pain me already; I need to rest. 

    I’m going to the market to buy ingredients for my meal preparation. I am back to work again tomorrow until when all this blows over. Then I can finally get to rest my throat and my eyes. 


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life Of” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, don’t hesitate to reach out.

    While we have your attention, click here to find out everything you need to know about the Hantavirus that just killed a man in China.


    Read A Week In The Life of A Coffinmaker here, and A Week In The Life Of A Keke Napep Rider here. Don’t forget to share with a friend!

    Reach out to me: hassan@bigcabal.com if you want to be featured on this series.

  • QUIZ: Who Will You Self-Isolate With?

    With the reported cases of Coronavirus rising in Nigeria, it’s time for us to take self-isolation very seriously. So, in a bid to raise awareness while having a bit of fun, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know who you’ll self-isolate with.

    Take to find out:

  • The Nigerian Ministry Of Health Just Announced 5 New Coronavirus Cases, And Here’s What We Know.

    Yesterday, we got information about a new case of Coronavirus in Nigeria. In addition, we also got the decision of the Nigerian Government on Covid-19 thanks to the meeting by the Presidential Task Force On Coronavirus. Part of this decision is a travel ban on countries with more than 1000 reported Covid-19 cases.

    Today, the Federal Ministry of Health just announced 5 new cases in addition to the previously discovered ones and here’s what we know about the latest development:

    1) These are totally new cases independent of the previously reported ones.

    Coronavirus in Nigeria

    They had a travel history to some of the banned countries on this list.

    2) Risk assessment measures and contact tracing are ongoing.

    Coronavirus in Nigeria

    Contact tracing means tracking everyone the infected person has been in touch with to reduce the risk of these people spreading the virus. Read more about it here.

    3) The Nigerian Center For Disease Control will provide continuous updates and advice as they know more.

    Coronavirus in Nigeria

    Don’t panic and don’t spread the wrong information.


    So, while we await updates, let’s all remember to take the necessary precautions:

  • Debunking Myths Around Coronavirus In Nigeria: We Asked An Expert
    Coronavirus in Nigeria

    There is so much information out there as regards the Coronavirus in Nigeria that it has become hard to separate truth from fiction.

    Misinformation is just as deadly as the virus itself so it’s important we get the facts right.

    In the name of promoting healthy practices and all-round baby boy and girl living, we the people of Zikoko spoke to a health care practitioner. This is to help us clarify some of the myths about Coronavirus in Nigeria and put us at ease.

    1) Black people can’t get the virus.

    With the latest reports coming out of African countries about new cases, everyone is at risk of getting infected. There is currently no proof to show that racial difference protects you against being infected.

    2) Saltwater can kill viruses.

    Unless you are an ordained priest of the church fighting vampires, you have no business with saltwater. Soap, water, and hand sanitizer are the three musketeers that can fight this infection.

    3) Heat not only kills workplace productivity, but it also takes along Covid-19 with it?

    The temperature required to kill the virus is so high that it’s not practical for everyday use. It would probably kill other unintended things so it’s better to just stick to plain old hand-washing. Soap and clean water are your best friends.

    4) After “God forbid”, will a face mask also protect me?

    Yes. Only certain types used by healthcare workers have the capacity to protect you. However, surgical masks currently used by the general public don’t have that capacity. Although, it is advisable for infected people to wear surgical masks to reduce the risk of infecting others.

    5) The virus is a propaganda by the West.

    The Coronavirus is very real and is not a hoax by any Government to incite fear. It is a worldwide emergency, so please take the necessary precautions during this period.

    6) My two capsules of antibiotics can protect me from miss Rona.

    This is a viral infection so antibiotics don’t have any effect. What you can do is try to eat healthily, get enough sleep, and generally do activities that improve good health I.e staying hydrated.


    Remember to take these preventive measures:

    Coronavirus in Nigeria

    While we wait for more updates, we thought of innovative ways to greet your friends outside of hugging and handshaking. Find out about that here.


  • What happens when people suddenly lose their jobs due to COVID-19 (thanks, but no thanks 2020) or circumstances beyond their control? For many people in Nigeria, life gets tough. Make that tough because it’s already the ghetto over here.

    We got 5 people to share their job hunting chronicles with us, and honestly, the struggle is real!

    Read on.

    Yetty

    It was my first job after school and I was just really grateful that I had a job, even though it was the absolute worst. My boss called me one day and explained that they weren’t making money and so couldn’t sustain the staff strength. He added that since he had been spending his personal money on the company, he wanted to invest in something else and would have to let me go.

    This happened in February.

    One thing I regret is that I have nothing to show for a year’s work in terms of funds. I didn’t have income insurance. I wasn’t earning much either; had to pay rent in Lagos, feed, and take care of basic stuff. Looking for a job has been stressful. Before losing my job, I was trying to transition into a new career entirely and I’ve been studying and all. But you know how the job market is, they ask for three years of experience for entry-level roles and even internships (all my life, I always thought internships were meant for one to learn and acquire skills). So yeah, it’s been very hard.


    Jeph

    I was working in this place where I was handling Marketing. Frankly, I loved my colleagues and the impact of our work. The CEO on the other hand, I didn’t like very much. He paid little to no attention to employee welfare and would stress the life out of you. The work hours were terrible and he’d call at ungodly hours. I once resigned and he begged me to stay. He wouldn’t let me go on leave because I was a “key man risk”. He never increased salaries the three years I worked with him.

    At the beginning of the COVID-19 lockdown, I had to work overtime to ensure that the business ran as smoothly as possible. Still, no raise. There was even the risk of a pay cut. One Sunday, I didn’t pick this man’s call because I was asleep. When I did, oga said I was acting stupidly, and that at my age, he was running a business worth ₦22 million so I should stop being irresponsible.

    I waited for my salary and I resigned in March last year (2020), but the drama lingered till October. He wanted to punish me with handover like he’d usually do to others and I ignored him. I instead requested for my statutory payments to be made and he ignored me until I sent him an email. They finally responded that they were going to pay up, but then they sent a lawyer to me saying I threatened them and I should come to sign an undertaking. This was about 3 months post-resignation. They also said I obstructed their revenue inflow by not handing over and some other nonsense like that. Then went on to threaten to sue me for $36000 and 4 Million Naira. Thing is, their claims were frivolous and asides from that, I was never given an employment letter and wasn’t bound by any contract terms to follow any set procedures. I sha had my lawyer do the talk with theirs till I never heard from them again. I have sha learnt the importance of knowing the labour laws, work insurance and how to handle employment contracts.


    Temi

    I resigned o.

    I was working for a bunch of companies and one particular day I just typed my resignation letter and sent it the next week to most of them at the same time because I was tired. How would I be having thirteen-hour meetings, and they’ll still schedule a meeting for the next day!? It didn’t make sense to me. I was juggling like 9 companies at the same time including my travel agency thing. It was a lot. I was always tired and never even got much sleep. I’m job hunting, but not totally unemployed. I already found a job in the U.S. Getting it was very difficult and my contract will be over in 4 months. I’m sending my resignation to the remaining companies by the end of the week.


    Chuks

    I’m out of a job, and it actually hasn’t been easy. Although, I haven’t really been applying for long. Let’s say from the beginning of the year I’ve sent over 20 applications and I haven’t gotten any invites yet. Even when I managed to get invited to one, it sounded like a fraud. I was so tired because it was evident that the guy who put out the advert meant to defraud job seekers.
    In addition to this, my mum feels like I don’t want to go get a job, and I’m comfortable staying at home which sucks.
    I think it’s due to the fact that I started my own brand and she wants immediate monetary results. I keep telling her that it’s a whole different process, and doesn’t just happen like magic. Parents just see ‘pressing of phone and laptop’ as a waste of time. In my opinion, they need to change their mentality, lol.


    Ije

    I freelance in Digital Marketing and Brand Strategy. Sometimes, I pitch to brands or wait for them to approach me. I’ve not been on a campaign for like 6 months now, so it’s been really difficult trying to lay my hands-on jobs. The ones I get, sometimes when I reach out to them, they always promise to get back to me but don’t.

    Omo. The financial strain has been really terrible, I won’t lie. I don’t get funds from home like that and most times, the only thing I depend on to sustain myself are funds I get from jobs. People hit me up for Social Media Management once in a while, but sometimes something comes up and they’re not able to complete the deal. It has made my finances terrible. Right now, I don’t even think I want to go through the stress of looking for jobs again, I am tired. It’s draining and exhausting. If the jobs come, good because at this point I just feel like all my efforts are fruitless. I don’t know what else to do. In as much as that’s a mood, I can’t just dey. I’ll still pitch to brands and companies even if I said I won’t. It’s just generally discouraging.





    Employers or even employees themselves invested in insuring their income hasn’t been normalised in Nigeria. It is this vacuum Casava is trying to fill with its Income Protection Insurance. Casava’s motivation stems from the ever-rising unemployment rate in Nigeria and the fact that this has plunged many people into financial distress.

    In a nutshell, Casava helps you earn after losing your job, save money on healthcare and insure every other thing you care about. Get early access.