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Covid | Zikoko!
  • COVID Might Be Back: 7 Things to Do Right This Time

    COVID Might Be Back: 7 Things to Do Right This Time

    Days after early detection of a new COVID strain in the UK, the deadly virus may have found its way to Nigeria again.

    An internal memo from the National Obstetric Fistula Centre, Abakaliki, dated August 22, 2023, urged members of the hospital community to embrace safe social distancing practices. “Sore throat that resembles strep throat, and of course, is more virulent and with a higher mortality rate. It takes less time to go to extremes. Sometimes without symptoms. Be more careful,” the memo read. 

    COVID Might Be Back: 7 Things to Do Right This Time

    While we await official directions from the Nigeria Centre For Disease Control and Prevention (NCDC), here are a few things we should do in the case of a pandemic or another lockdown.

    Make the test centres affordable

    Getting tested in the heat of the 2020 coronavirus pandemic was pure chaos. Apart from the limited test centres, the prices weren’t encouraging for the average Nigerian. As of January 2022, the Lagos State govt announced a reduction of test fees from ₦50,400 to ₦45,250, but most people can still not afford the test. The consequence is infected people moving around with no diagnosis, dismissing their symptoms as common cases of flu.

    Jail term for palliative hoarders

    People are dying and starving, but Nigerian politicians would rather hoard Indomie in secret warehouses and gift them as owambe souvenir? God, abeg. We know Bubu gave zero shits, but Jagaban needs to liaise with the relevant authorities and push a law that mandates jail term for erring politicians.

    Price control on pandemic essentials

    I remember painfully handing out my last ₦1k to a hawker who inflated the prices of her nose masks simply because she was the only seller available. Other pandemic essentials like hand sanitisers, anti-bacterial wipes and toilet rolls were inflated just for the sake of it. We need Jagaban and the relevant authorities to take proactive measures against the capitalists looking to profit from general suffering.

    Make public handwashing permanent

    Pandemic or not, handwashing should be a common practice because Nigeria is dirty. Our public hygiene is appaling, to say the least. And while handwashing was mandated during the pandemic, the practice has since been shelved. Banks and other public spaces have packed up or just abandoned the makeshift wash-hand basins stationed at their entrances.

    Include condoms in palliative care packages

    We already have enough people in Nigeria and don’t need couples bumping up the populace with more pandemic babies. The ministry in charge of palliatives should please include sufficient packs of condoms. You can mekwe, but let the babies stay in heaven with God in these sensitive times.

    Designers should step up

    Imagine showing up in your wardrobe’s best and having to ruin your drip because of the surgical face masks. This was the case for many people in 2020. Now that COVID is raring its ugly head again, we need the Mai Atafos and Ugo Monyes to get creative. You can prevent yourself from catching the virus and still look fly AF. Two truths can co-exist, or how do they say it?

    Prepare to blow

    The 2020 COVID lockdown blessed us with a new wave of celebs like Omah Lay, Enioluwa, Khaby Lame and hundreds other influencers who were completely unknown before then. Do you see where I’m going with this? Now is the time to perfect all your content ideas so that opportunity can meet you prepared.

  • A Week In The Life Of A Medical Device Seller During COVID

    A Week In The Life Of A Medical Device Seller During COVID

    A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    For today’s “A Week In The Life” we go back in time to 2020. We explore what it was like to benefit from the height of the pandemic. We speak to a medical consumables seller who tells us about how COVID money changed his life.

    COVID

    MONDAY:

    Something crazy recently happened to my benefit: someone wanted to order face masks, my friend [who was called] couldn’t help them out, and so I took on the job. Now, I’m in Idumota market everyday sourcing masks and other COVID essentials. I make almost over 50% profit on every order I process. But I’m not foolish; I understand that this is rush money and it won’t always be like this, so I remind myself to make the most out of it. This bubble can only last for so long before people run out of money. 

     A lot of my day, like today, starts with phone calls from 6 a.m. I’m either on the phone with customers who want to order stuff or I’m calling my guys in the market to help me run a delivery.  If you had asked me two months ago about selling stuff, you’d have probably gotten a big no from me. But, hey I’m not complaining. 

    I’m in this business because I quit my job in anticipation of starting my compulsory internship program after pharmacy school. However, one month into my wait, the pandemic struck. I suddenly found myself jobless and without an internship. There I was in my room every day, moping until I overheard my friend almost decline an order to deliver face masks and hand sanitisers to a company. I volunteered to fulfil the order even though I had never been to Idumota market in my life. That leap of faith marked the beginning of a life-changing event. I quickly entered the world of negotiations, import and export, and uncovered previously unknown corners of Idumota market. There’s literally nothing you can’t find in that market and knowing the right people makes all the difference. 

    I started the business with one order and then two, three… After a while, it just took off mostly through word of mouth and referrals. And it’s been smooth sailing ever since. 

    It’s wild that a few months ago I was working in a community pharmacy where the pay was around ₦60,000 a month. And now, in a month, I make almost double the yearly salary of my old job. Which is a lot for a young pharmacist. 

    What I love the most about my current reality is stability. A year ago I was worried about where I’d do my internship, or if my life would ever amount to anything and how I’d jaapa. Now, I’m literally thinking of importing my own line of medical consumables and not worrying a lot about tomorrow. For the first time in a long time, I’m not worried about where my next meal will come from. 

    TUESDAY:

    I started my day by visiting my bank. Even though there were lockdown restrictions, I had to go in because my business was at stake. After being paid for my largest order so far, my bank froze my account. Their reason? The amount of money was simply too much. Ahan.

    So I had to go in person to explain that I was not a Yahoo boy. Simply a trader involved in the buying and selling of goods. After a few regulatory backs and forth to confirm my identity and upgrade my account, the restrictions were lifted. I felt my chest loosen up for the first time since I got the restriction email. 

    I’ve been trying to put how I feel into words and failing. I guess that there’s no way to talk about my gratitude without sounding insensitive to other people. While people have been lamenting about how COVID has dealt with them, it’s been a blessing in disguise for me. I’ve lost count of the number of things I’ve done with COVID money because the profit is not one or two million. It’s millions of naira. This experience has also taught me a lot about myself and opened my eyes to parts of me I had never been in touch with. I understand now that I possess some form of hustle spirit I never knew I had. 

    Sometimes I catch myself thinking that not getting Internship has been a blessing. I can run my business on my own terms without worrying about other engagements elsewhere. 

    Later today, I’m meeting up with a couple of guys who are supposed to walk me through the process of importing drugs. Apparently, it’s not very straightforward, especially if you don’t want Customs to seize your goods. However, nobody tells you this until you’ve entered wahala. Nigeria and ease of doing business strike again. The meeting will definitely not be fun. But I’m looking forward to after the meeting when I’ll buy asun and mortuary standard Heineken to share with my boys. I guess it’s true that the simple things of life give the most pleasure. 

    WEDNESDAY:

    I woke up with one word on my mind today: grace. I know that I’m not the only one who does this business so it’s not by my power that it’s going smoothly. I’ve heard of people who also do this same business and dulled. It’s humbling to me because I didn’t do any digital advertising or social media marketing. Just mostly word of mouth on my part, and my friends who put my business on social media. At one point, I was even shy to post my business, but thankfully the people in my corner really showed up for me. And for that, I’m grateful. It’s a blessing to have people in your corner who encourage you. 

    There was also the part where the traders in Idumota showed me the ropes. In my first month, I’d open with them by 8 a.m. and close by 5 p.m. daily. They dedicated their time to show me where to go and where to not go. I even learned how to identify the real value of a product after profit has been added. My negotiation skills went through the roof. On top of it all, they still help me out in one way or another, especially when I can’t be physically present at the market.  

    Again, grace. 

    Still, it’s not perfect. I’ve had to face people defaulting on agreements which made me lose a lot of money. I also have to deal with serious price fluctuations between each market visit. Scarcity of products is leading to over hiked prices. There was a time a carton of facemask went up from ₦350,000 to ₦600,000. [Editor’s note: A carton contains 2,000 pieces of facemask. A carton also has 40 boxes and each box/pack has 50 pieces of facemask]

    In spite of all this, I give God the glory because he’s a major part of my journey. Money will come and go but God’s grace is forever. 

    THURSDAY: 

    I’ve realised that at heart I’m still a pharmacist. And part of the requirements to becoming a fully licensed Pharmacist is completing my internship program. That’s why I’m spending a lot of time today filling out applications for where I’ll intern. For me, this is more a formality as opposed to a do or die affair. I’m aware of how internship money changes people’s lives. Starting life on a salary above ₦100,000 in Nigeria pushes you one step closer to your dreams — whether it’s to jaapa to the US or Canada. 

    For me, because I understand how unpredictable business is, my internship money is going to an account I can’t touch. At least after a year of piling it up, it’ll make a good safety net in case anything happens. 

    The government recently eased the lockdown and things will soon start returning to ‘normal.’ I know rush money from business will slow down, and I’m looking to diversify outside of it. I’m looking into becoming a vendor that supplies pharmaceuticals for banks, HMO’S and big companies. At least that’s some form of stable income in a world of uncertainty. 

    I know that whatever way this story ends, things are never going to be the same again for me. My perspective has totally changed. Even if, God forbid, I don’t take anything out of this experience, I know I’ll have stories to tell my children. I’ll just be like ‘hey guys, let me tell you the story of how your dad became a millionaire in the middle of a global pandemic.’


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.

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  • Nigerians Call Strippers So Many Dirty Names — A Week in the Life of a Stripper

    Nigerians Call Strippers So Many Dirty Names — A Week in the Life of a Stripper

    “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is Debbie, a stripper. She tells us about how stripping changed her life, why she wants the Nigerian police to do better, and how she plans to fund her dreams of living an expensive life. 

    MONDAY:

    My days are unpredictable so I have no fixed time to wake up. On some days I’m up early because I have to leave my house for an appointment. Other days, like today, I lie on my bed pressing my phone until 10, 11 a.m. My work revolves around anything entertainment-related — stripping, acting or video vixen — and Mondays are usually slow. I get up from the bed and set up my camera because I’m tired of being idle. I’m going to record myself dancing, singing and just having fun. When I’m done, I’ll upload the video on my social media pages and reply to any comments. While setting up, I remind myself not to forget to satisfy my craving for beans and plantain after I’m done shooting. 

    Before I return to my camera set up, I have to defeat an enemy called low inspiration. So I seek the help of a trusted friend called Igbeaux. I can feel myself loosening up and my appetite roaring in the background after some puffs. While I’m running through what I want to shoot in my head, and figuring out what part of my room to use, NEPA takes the light. Well, there goes my ability to create content and be useful today.

    TUESDAY:

    Today was better than yesterday mostly because I spent my time reminiscing. Anytime I see how far I’ve come with stripping, I can’t help but thank God. People don’t believe me when I tell them nobody taught me how to strip — I learnt from watching other girls on the pole and practising over and over again. Sometimes, I’d fall and hit my bum bum. Then I’d go home to massage it while telling myself, “We move oh.” I no longer try to learn too many moves because some routines are hard abeg. It’s not every routine a stripper must know. 

     I remember being scared, shy and happy when I started stripping. On my first day, I couldn’t even pull off my clothes. I remember summoning the courage to remove my bra and subsequently turning to face the wall. It was the money I picked up at the end of the night that gave me ginger to continue. 

    https://twitter.com/debbchina1/status/1337745160365543425?s=20

    There’s a big difference between American strip clubs and Nigerian strip clubs. In Nigeria, there’s a belief that people who go to strip clubs are devilish people, and there are people who come to strip clubs and say they don’t want strippers to touch them. Regardless of all this, I still hustle and make my money. Depending on the club you work at, and how people turn up, you can make ₦40 – ₦50k in one night. Other nights, you can make more or less than that. Funny enough, the highest amount I made in a night — ₦100-000 – ₦200,000 — was from one house party and not even a club.  

    There’s money in stripping, and there’s also a lot of wahala, but most people don’t see that.

    WEDNESDAY:

    People assume that strippers aren’t meant to be in a romantic relationship. That’s their business because I’m seeing someone. To be honest, the reason the relationship works is that my boyfriend is a crazy person and I’m a shameless woman. He always says he’ll do worse things than stripping if he were a woman. The fact that he knows my story ensures that my job —  giving lap dances and customers touching my boobs or tapping my ass — doesn’t pain him. Sometimes, he’ll tell me, “Go get your money, girl.” I love him so much, and I pray God keeps us together. 

    My mum is also aware of what I do for a living, but I’m not sure if my dad knows. Funny story: my junior sister is also a stripper. One weekend she came visiting and begged to follow me to work. Even though she was just a spectator, she picked almost ₦40k from the floor that night. And that was how she started her stripper career. 

    Sometimes I think about how every fucking thing in my life has changed. In the past, I’d cook jollof rice to eat for four to five days because I couldn’t afford what I wanted to eat. Now, I barely cook. I also couldn’t afford to help my siblings financially, but now I’m chief of the house. And for me to be the chief, you know I got it. Hahaha.

    THURSDAY:

    At work today, we’re discussing the many dirty names Nigerians call strippers. It’s funny when people say we’re opening our body to make money. In reality, everyone uses what they have [brain, connections, body] to get what they need. I don’t care about what people have to say. Well, except for the Nigerian police.

    I demand better treatment from the police because they’re always harassing strippers. If I dress sexy or the way I like, policemen talk to me anyhow. When policemen stop me on the road, I don’t smile and I guess that increases their anger towards me. How can I be smiling with people who raided our club during the Covid curfew and took me to the station wearing only a pant and a bra? I ended up paying ₦70,000 to conduct a Covid test that turned out to be negative. 

    I can’t even afford to be spending money anyhow seeing as strip clubs haven’t fully re-opened. It’s house parties we’re managing for now. If this Covid thing hadn’t disrupted all of 2020, by now I should be counting millions. Instead, everywhere red and the brokeness choke. 

    FRIDAY:

    It’s up to the stripper to determine if they want to move things forward with the client or leave it alone at just dancing. When clients request a happy ending, I tell them I don’t do that. I’m happy that even without the happy ending, I still make money. I’ll forever be grateful for my decision to move from the mainland to the Island because it increased my earning potential. Mostly because there are no big strip clubs on the mainland.

    I love expensive life, and I spend today thinking about the fact that I’m on my way to living the kind of life I wish for. Although my life is currently not expensive, I still love it. In addition to stripping, I also make and sell my own perfumes and perfume oil.  I also sing at events somewhere in that mix. Before I sign out from being a stripper, I must have my own strip club and ensure that all my queens learn how to make their own money.

    I know God is going to do many things in my life, but I just don’t know where he’s going to start. Until that time comes, I’m married to capitalism.


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.

    [donation]

  • What Does Lagos Look Like After The Lockdown Was Eased On May 4th?

    What Does Lagos Look Like After The Lockdown Was Eased On May 4th?

    Since the first Lagos state lockdown was announced and then extended,all Lagosians have been clamoring for is the day when the lockdown will finally be lifted. The good news is that the day has come (Lagos May 4th) but the bad news is Lagos does not look good.

    If you’re home self-isolating like everyone should be doing, well done. Here’s a virtual tour of how other Lagosians are spending their time.

    zikoko- Lagos May 4th

    On one side we have people congregated on the roads paying tribute to traffic. The roads are packed with vehicles that are of course filled with people even though the government already put limitations on the capacity vehicles are allowed to carry. Everybody is just freestyling it. Lagos traffic =100000, Social distancing = 0.

    Danfos are back on the road with business as usual (angry drivers, chill-less conductors. and vexed passengers). The long bus queues of people waiting to pack themselves into BRT’s are back too. Some of these people are not wearing masks and we only hope that they washed their hands before boarding the buses and after they alight because as we all know, COVID-19 did not come to play.

    For some odd reason on the other hand people are rushing into banks. The result is a sea of bodies trying to force themselves in at the same time. Again, no social distancing here.

    With all the evidence that people are totally not social distancing. Was it wise for Buhari to have lifted the lockdown? Will the number of Covid-19 casualties increase? Will “Lagos May 4th” morphe into our worst nightmare?

  • Nigerians, How Can We Make Our Own Hand Sanitizers?

    Nigerians, How Can We Make Our Own Hand Sanitizers?

    “There is no knowledge that is wasted – Mortal Kombat.”

    We live in strange times and we need strange measures. This is the regime of handwashing with soap and clean water and in the absence of that, the use of hand sanitizers.

    Amidst, all of the Covid-19 panic, I went to the pharmacy to stock up on hand sanitizers and I discovered it had been exhausted. I searched for hours and resigned myself to just washing my hands until I found a “Do It Yourself” video on how to make hand sanitizers at home. It completely blew my mind away and I am sharing this with the hope that it helps someone as much as it has helped me.

    PS: This is not to serve any other purpose than for personal use.

    For starters, you’ll need these:

    how to make hand sanitizers

    You can get Methylated Spirit at your local Pharmacy for N200 or less.

    how to make hand sanitizers

    Aloe vera gel can also be purchased from your local pharmacy.

    how to make hand sanitizers

    Glycerin oil is used as a preservative for making cakes. So, check a cake shop.

    how to make hand sanitizers

    After getting these, you then need to check out this awesome video for the step by step process on how to go about making your own. Also, for how to add fragrances to give it a good smell, read the comments.

    Happy watching and don’t forget to share!

    https://www.instagram.com/p/B94MKS7nKKV/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

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