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covenant university | Zikoko!
  • 5 Covenant University Students Talk About The Silliest Offence That Got Them In Trouble

    Students in Nigerian universities have stories to tell, but hardly anyone to tell them to. For our new weekly series, Aluta and Chill, we are putting the spotlight on these students and their various campus experiences.


    Earlier this year, I had a conversation with a student of Covenant University, and he talked about how tedious the school policies are and his run-in with the school management. One take-away from that conversation was that it is almost impossible to avoid getting into some sort of trouble if you study at the school. So, for this episode of Aluta and Chill, I spoke to a couple of current and past students and get them to talk about a time they had a run-in with members of the school management. 

    This was originally published in 2020.

    BeatriceI got in trouble because my friend’s button was undone.

    We had just finished service at the chapel and I was walking to a class with a friend. We ran into the dean, but I didn’t think I had anything to worry about. I was dressed in appropriate clothes and buttoned up to the neck, so I was good with the dress code. But I think one of my friend’s buttons was undone and the Dean doesn’t miss such things. Then I heard his voice fill the air, asking my friend to give him her ID card.

    I didn’t think it was my business, but apparently it was. He called me back as I was walking away and asked for my ID card too. He collected the cards and sent us to class. After our class was over, we went to the Student Affairs office. He gave us an offence form and he instructed us to write “gross insubordination” as our offence. That was very confusing. I faced the SDC afterwards. Luckily, I didn’t get into more trouble because I had no priors. I got off with a letter of warning. 

    AliceI got in trouble for “kissing my boyfriend” even though we were several feet apart.

    This happened in my third year. It was the departure service night — it’s this prayer thing we do at the end of the semester before we go home. The service had ended and I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Then this hall officer appeared out of nowhere and claimed that she saw us kissing. That was absurd because we put a good distance between us. She insisted on her stance — that there was a picture she took of us in the act.

    There was no picture and we knew that. We asked her to show us the picture. Of course, she couldn’t, so she had to let us go. I returned to school the following semester and found out that she was my hall officer. I didn’t think much about it or the situation that happened the previous semester. One day, I was going to church when she called me, and without a word, she gave me an offence form to fill. She charged me with gross insubordination and dress code violation, but I knew what it was all about. Lucky for me, it never got processed.

    Gbenga  Someone on my floor was apparently smoking weed, so they took all of us on the floor for a test.

    It was 1 am, but most of my coursemates were still awake — we were studying for a major test we had in a few hours. Next thing we knew, guys in suits were knocking on doors and calling everyone on our floor to come out of their rooms. 

    Apparently they had gotten a tip that someone on our floor had been smoking weed, so they took all of us to get tested for drugs. We were stuck there for hours and by the time they finally let us go, it was time for class. Most of us failed that test.

    MuyiwaI got in trouble for talking in the chapel.

    It was a Thursday evening and I was at the chapel. Papa came to preach, so the MSS guys — they are the school security people — were so extra that day. I was having a discussion with a couple of friends. One of the hall officers knew me and he singled me out. Two of them took me to the Head of MSS. He asked for my name, and I told him, but for some reason, he thought I was lying.

    I didn’t have my ID card on me and that was all he needed to book me. Later, I got called to face the Student Disciplinary Committee to answer for chapel misconduct. It was just weird because I wasn’t the only one in the chapel on that day. After that incident, I sort of became a target and they would come into my room any time they wanted to check if I had a bible. And that made me very uncomfortable.

    Ann I never got in trouble even though I violated a lot of their rules.

    I never got into trouble in school, never even got to see the popular offence form people had to fill when they got into trouble. And no. I wasn’t a model student, I skipped classes, skipped chapel services, violated dress code rules a couple of times, and I even left school without exeat. But I never got caught doing any of those. 

    However, an event that I’ll never forget during my stay in CU was the departure service in my first year. The matriculation ceremony held earlier and we had spent most of the week doing mid-semester tests. I didn’t think the departure service was going to be serious. It took a lot to fight the urge to stay in bed and sleep instead. I got to the chapel and everyone was basically lazying around.

    In a minute, everything suddenly became chaotic. I saw students running around. Some were even trying to get in through the windows.  The Chancellor took to the stage and gave an angry speech. The part I’ll never forget was when he said: “If anyone makes a sound, the curse of the Lord will be upon them.” I’d never seen a place go grave silent in seconds. The members of the student affairs department took over from there, going round to check if students were compliant with dress codes rules and if people had their bibles and chapel note (Actual hard copy bible and note.) I didn’t think it was possible for a bible to look like a 60 leaves exercise book until that day. 

    It was just really stressful and I was so relieved when the whole thing ended. But it hadn’t really ended. The following day, more than 200 students were suspended. Just like that. 

    *All names have been changed to protect the identities of the subjects.


    Are you currently studying in Nigeria or elsewhere and have a story to share about your life in school? Please take a minute to fill this form and we will reach out to you ASAP.

    Can’t get enough Aluta and Chill? Check back every Thursday at noon for a new episode. Find other stories in the series here.

  • 13 Things That Still Give Covenant University Graduates PTSD

    If you graduated from Covenant University, chances are you still get nightmares about the stressful place. So, as a former student myself, I’ve put together a couple of things that still trigger me, and I’m sure you feel the same way.

    1. The sight of a small white bus.

    Your brain just screams, “BUS 5”.

    2. The video game character, Mario.

    Reminds you of the pocket-sized demon that tortured us.

    3. The word “Caution”.

    You immediately feel the urge to shut up.

    4. People named Muyiwa.

    If your name is Muyiwa, can you even trust yourself?

    5. Filling forms.

    Always triggers memories of filling offence forms.

    6. Biometric devices.

    Our thumbs have suffered.

    7. Audis.

    The only other car we feared as much as Bus 5.

    8. The animated villain, Megamind.

    Reminds you of the other big-headed villain that haunted chapel.

    9. When your device starts “pairing”.

    Ah. I’m not pairing oh.

    10. The word “Papa”.

    Is there a word you hate more?

    11. When someone says “Good news”.

    You already know it never is.

    12. Whenever you see corporate clothes.

    Take that tie away from me.

    13. The entire Ogun state.

    Ogun state reminds you of Ota, which in turn reminds you of CU.

  • A lot of people think going to a private university in Nigeria is an easier path to higher education, but it’s really not. While the private university struggles might be different from public universities, they are just as annoying.

    Look at these.

    When people tell me how ‘lucky’ I am to be going to a private university.

    Daily devotion

    First of all, you don’t have to wake up everyday at 5am to the blaring noise of a public announcement system and the grating voice of ‘Sister Jane’ shouting at you to “come out for morning devotion!” Don’t angry me.

    Church

    But of course you still have to go to church like 4 times a week. When you’re not the child of the devil and you don’t want a demerit.

    Demerits

    Any small thing, the enemies of progress will just be writing your name like… And if you lose enough demerit points, you go on suspension o. There are more possible ‘crimes’ than points sef.

    Lights out

    Before I entered university, I thought this was just a secondary school stoffs. I was wrong.

    Beard gang?

    What’s that? My brother you better go and trim your hair and beard low before they wipe it like magic for you.

    Monitoring spirits

    I also thought monitoring spirits existed just in the supernatural, but this school has shown me that they walk freely among us, bearing titles such as ‘porter’ and ‘security’.

    Accidental wardrobe malfunction?

    “Give her a demerit! And one for you, and for you…” Could this be life?

    Stabbing class

    Wanna stab class? You can’t. Don’t even think about it, if you no wan chop punishment.

    Parties

    The party might have been over before your exeat even comes through. Waste.

    Watching your friends flex

    This is how you look at your friends’ social media after they’ve finished posting about the mad party that you couldn’t get exeat for.

    And finally…

    How you look in wonder at all the freedom and life that is outside your school walls when you go home on break.
  • 17 Things Only People Who Attended Covenant University Will Relate To

    1. Whenever you see bus 5 coming.

    EVERYBODY SCATTER!!!

    2. When you hear “Caution! Caution!! Caution!!!”

    Hay God! It’s all over.

    3. When they start an announcement with “good news!”

    You already know you don’t care.

    4. One hour after they call Prof. Aize Obayan to “round up”:

    It’s not over?

    5. The doctor, when you go to health center with a broken leg:

    Na wa for you.

    6. This difficult choice:

    Just let your pocket decide.

    7. When they are denying exeats up and down but they approve your own.

    God is good.

    8. How you know exam time has reached:

    You people should go to your halls, abeg.

    9. When a non-student starts saying “I heard they don’t let you guys…”

    Oya say nonsense.

    10. When Mario catches you ‘pairing’ at night.

    Ezz not wat it looks like, sir.

    11. That time Pastor Ntia gingered everybody:

    12. Whenever they say they want to do head count.

    Is this really necessary?

    13. You at every single public lecture:

    Why are we even here?

    14. When someone blocks you in front of your hall with “excuse me! Please, can you help me call…”

    Better leave my front.

    15. “In a short while, we shall be rising up to pray.”

    Didn’t we just finish praying?

    16. You, the first time you stabbed chapel service:

    Is this how I will go home?

    17. When you go to the buttery and all they have is Hebron drink.

    What is this life?