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One thing Nollywood gets right is the romantic pairings, from Ramsey Nouah and Genevieve, to Jim Iyke and Rita Dominic, we’ve always lived vicariously through their onscreen love. These new Nollywood couples are no different.
Okey Uzoeshi and Bisola Aiyeola
It might be the banter or the intense looks after they’ve done the silliest things. We don’t know what it is, but these two have the chemistry of an older, married Nigerian couple, and we love to see it.
Notable watch: Skinny Girl in Transit Season 6
Uzor Arukwe and Ijeoma Grace-Agu
In the hierarchy of Nollywood work husbands and wives, after the old nolly baes and beaus take their spots, these two are next in line. Doesn’t matter what storyline or world their characters are placed in. They always have the most insane chemistry.
Notable watch: Package Deal
Kunle Remi and Bimbo Ademoye
Do you and your co-star really have great chemistry if everyone and their daddy doesn’t think you re dating? These two have such a believable relationship on-screen, people think they’re real off-screen. Producers have decided they won’t rest until they cast them together in everything. We’re here for it.
Notable watch: Anikulapo
Chiagoziem Nwakama and Nick Mutuma
They bring a type of innocent, easy love we haven’t seen on our screens since the days of Stella Damasus and RMD.
Notable watch: This is it
Ayoola Ayolola and Mimi Chaka
Yes, they’ve only been on The Men’s Club together, yes, Ayoola’s rizz might be blinding, but spend ten seconds watching them, and let’s see if you don’t believe in love again.
Notable watch: The Men’s Club
Nengi Adoki and Baaj Adebule
These two have such great chemistry everyone thinks they’re dating in real life. Doesn’t matter how many times they refute it, there’ll always be a little sliver of doubt in everyone’s mind. They’re just that good together.
Notable watch: The Men’s Club
Efa Iwara and Bukola Oladipupo
We’ve only ever seen them together in The Men’s Club, but their romance is as sincere as it is entertaining. It doesn’t matter what they go through, we’ll always root for them.
Notable watch: The Men’s Club
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If you’ve ever wondered what goes on in a Christian couples group chat, wonder no more. I’m only too happy to share. As the only member of the married geng at Zikoko, this was bound to happen sooner or later.
These are eight things you’ll typically find in these group chats.
Stories, many stories
I don’t know who’s in charge of making up stories about other people’s relationships to use as case studies on these groups, but I have to say, they’re very creative. Of course, the stories are either forwarded or end with “copied”.
Relationship advice
It wouldn’t be a Christian couples group if someone didn’t send unsolicited advice — even confusing ones.
Forwarded videos
In case you didn’t take the time to read the stories and relationship advice, you might as well finish your data on the videos that say the exact same thing.
The occasional shade throwing
How do you acknowledge the sometimes problematic nature of the other gender in a somewhat respectful, church-approved way? You throw shade.
BCs from all walks of life
Did you think it’s only marriage matters they’d talk about there? LOL. And there I was thinking my Nigerian mother sends too many unrelated broadcast messages.
Wedding anniversaries and birthdays
I can’t share screenshots for obvious reasons, but best believe there’s someone celebrating something every other day.
Daily prayers
Because the devil walks around like a roaring lion, and prayer is needed to keep him at bay. And with how Nigeria is going, if there’s any time we need God’s intervention, it’s now.
Sweet gist
I can’t even lie. The group chat is almost always popping with gist and funny Q/A sessions. Because if there’s one thing married people love, it’s gist.
NEXT READ: How to Find a Family That’ll Pay You to Break Up With Their Child
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I saw this tweet below and the amebo in me decided to ask people what jobs they wouldn’t want their partners to have.
This is what they said:
“I’ll die from embarrassment if my man decides to become an IG comedian”
— Adeola, 25
I’m not sure how I’d react if my man decides to become an IG comedian. I can’t imagine seeing my man on Instagram trying to make people laugh by changing into different ridiculous costumes. I can already feel the second-hand embarrassment just thinking about it. It’s even worse if he’s the type that wears wigs and dresses. Someone will ask me what my man does, and I’ll have to say he’s an IG comedian, God Abeg. Also, what if he’s not funny? I still have to share the video on my insta story and encourage him? I can die of embarrassment.
“Imagine seeing girls fawn over your husband on social media and in person”
— Emma*, 24
My heart won’t be able to accept my partner if he decides to be an actor. First of all, there’s all that lip action. How are you kissing all these people with so much passion and you expect me to think there’s nothing there? Aside from the acting, there are the fans. I know how crazy fangirling can be, so imagine seeing girls fawn over your husband on social media and in person. I won’t be able to handle it. I don’t know how wives of people like Etim Effiong or RMD do it.
QUIZ: Which Nollywood Actor Are You?
“My biggest fear is that I’d have to play their music to my friends”
— Ikenna*, 26
If my partner decides to become a musician, I’ll end the relationship. First of all, they’ll play their songs for you all the time, and you have to listen even when you’re not in the mood. Imagine living with them and they now have a studio in the house; I’d run mad. It’s worse if they play an instrument and they’re trying to “serenade” you; that’s even more stress. Then they expect you to say nice things about the music, which basically means I’d have to lie, and I don’t know how to lie. That’s how the relationship will end. My biggest fear is that I’d have to play their music to my friends or make my friends attend their music shows. That’s a hard pass for me, please.
“I don’t know how I’d react if my husband gets a job offshore”
— Chisom*, 24
For me, it’s my husband deciding to become one of those oil workers that work offshore. I can’t live with the fact that I might only get to see the love of my life once every 2 – 3 months. I’ve been doing long distance for over three years. I finally get to be with him, and that’s when he decides to get into a career that’ll once again keep him away? Yeah — no, I’m not doing that. It’s the same reason why I’d also be upset if he decided to become a pilot.
Also, becoming a masseuse is off the table, simply because I may pass out from the thought of my partner rubbing his hands all over another person.
“I wouldn’t respect my boyfriend if he decided to become a stripper”
— Bola*, 24
I’ll break up with my man if he decides to become a male stripper. I think male stripping is silly, and everyone will see how silly my boyfriend is. I’m not sure I’d have respect for him if he decided to get into that. And I’d feel major second-hand embarrassment.
ALSO READ: Nigerians Call Strippers So Many Dirty Names — A Week in the Life of a Stripper
“I’ll feel like one of her subscribers”
— Maxwell*, 22
If my girlfriend decides she wants to be on Onlyfans, I’ll shed serious tears. The main reason is that nothing will feel special again; I’ll just feel like one of her subscribers.
“I wouldn’t want to do traditional rites with my partner”
— Adamma*, 27
There are two jobs on this list: traditional ruler and politician. First of all, they both involve having to be responsible for human beings, and I know I’m not cut out for that. Also, as the wife of a traditional ruler, I’d have to do ritual rites with him, and that’s a big no for me. As a politician’s wife, I’d be expected to behave a certain way and to do certain things. If he’s now a bad leader, citizens will curse my family and me anyhow.
“I don’t rate makeup artists”
— Emmanuel*, 26
Becoming a makeup artist is where I draw the line. I don’t take makeup artists seriously. I just don’t rate the job. I think most makeup looks look weird, and every Nigerian babe looks the same nowadays. I think the “art” in make-up artist is pretentious sef.
“I don’t want my girlfriend making it easier for other men”
— Ola, 27
I hope my girlfriend never becomes a stripper. It’s one thing for other men to ogle your woman; it’s another thing for her to make it easy for them.
Funny enough, I’d already told millennials not to date people with certain jobs in this article: Dear Millennials, for Your Own Sake, Don’t Date People With These Jobs
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Every year, people that manage to superglue their relationship in time for Christmas always make sure to take pictures in matching pyjamas so they can caption it, “Me and mines.” Because we are tired of them rubbing this cliché in our faces, we’ve suggested 9 perfect outfits for them to wear instead.
1. Adieu Papa shirts
Nothing screams love and romance like death. This outfit is free- it’ll last longer and you don’t even have to remove it after your photoshoot. Give us single people something to look forward to. Be different.
2. Lace
It’ll be better if it’s one of those old lace styles that had many holes. And if you want to spice it up, you can swap outfits. Pyjamas are an imported trend after all, and if Yoruba movies are anything to go by, you can wear iro and buba to bed too.
3. Adire T-shirts
You can even make it yourselves and have a mini photo shoot while the dye dries up. Who knows, you might find a new hobby that isn’t oppressing single people.
4. Santa Claus and Mrs Claus costume
What could be more festive than this outfit? You can even reuse the pictures during Valentine’s day, and single people will still be pressed.
5. Suits
If you are into that sort of thing, you can create a backstory where you are coworkers to add spice to that photoshoot no one asked for. Give us drama, give us a plot. It’s the least you can do.
6. Wrapper
Who doesn’t love a good village setting photoshoot? Take us back to our roots: village palm wine tapper in a wrapper and his babe in a wrapper, holding a calabash.
7. BAGCO super sack
With a little bit of imagination, anything can be turned into an outfit. Why be boring when you can be camp? You don’t even have to sew it or anything. Just make holes for your heads. You’re welcome.
8. Leaves
Give us the Garden of Eden couture. Give us what white people thought we wore before colonisation.
9. Ghana Must Go bags
We know that you are here for the oppression Olympics but if it was a fashion competition, you would win with this outfit. We would even vote for you to win.
[newsletter]
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When it comes to making a man cry in bed, there are many things you can do to make that happen. If you are looking to make things so hot during sex that your man sheds tears of ecstasy, here’s a detailed guide on how to make a man cry in bed.
Call out his name often
Weirdly enough, one of the many things men like to hear during sex is their name. Call out his name seductively when you like something sexual that he’s doing to you. Please remember the exact name of the person you are sleeping with oh. Before you call out someone else’s name.
Talk to him
There is nothing as sexy as hearing each other moan,sigh, and demand what you want/how you want it. It guarantees equal pleasure for you both. Also, whispering naughty words in his ears can be a huge turn on. Do with this information what you must.
Play with his ears
Bite it playfully or just gently tug at it. You can also just moan or sigh in his ears. The ears can be an erogenous zone so if you want the sex to be memorable for him, you should definitely do this.
Give his neck attention
Start with slow kisses to let him know that you want him. Start from the base of his ears and work your way down. you can bite his neck softly as you inch down. Alternate between kisses and biting so he doesn’t know what’s coming next.
Look for his sensitive spots
If you want to know how to make a man cry in bed, you must be intentional about pleasing him sexually.
Men have so many erogenous zones that don’t get love mostly because the men are too shy to ask their partners for that. Nipples are one of those spots. Pay attention to it. Just do what he’d do to you.Kiss his thighs
Plant light kisses from above his knees and work your way up increasing the pressure of your lips as you go. Remember that men like foreplay too.
Give him a massage
Straddle him and give him a massage, replacing your hands with your mouth and tongue. This should make for an interesting experience for him.
Try new temperatures
Introduce new things in the bedroom, like ice, candles made for the skin, food like whipped cream, etc.
Relax
It won’t always go smoothly. Sex between two people who aren’t acting to make money can not be perfect. Relax, laugh, and make jokes. Just enjoy yourselves.
If you liked this article, you would love “How to Make a Woman Cry in Bed“
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The honeymoon phase is sweet, and makes you think your relationship will last “forever”. Well, take this quiz to find out if this relationship of yours is really built on solid ground or sinking sand.
QUIZ: 11 Quizzes That Will Help You Figure Out Your Love Life
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There’s a way to avoid a problem if you identify it early. If you date some Nigerian men though, sometimes the problem can be confused with romance. How then do you prevent entering that kind of trap?
Watch out for these signs.
1. He likes home-cooked food but he cannot cook.
Listen to me, if you proceed with that relationship, prepare to start your own food channel because you will cook tire.
2. He wants to know your body count.
The question is why? What does he need that information for?
3. He likes feminism oh, but he thinks you should tone it down.
I’m not wishing you bad oh, but hmmmm.
4. He likes your size oh, but he wants you to ‘slim down small.’
Na from clap dance dey start. Just so you know.
5. He is a ‘spiri-koko.’
Spiritual is different from Spiri-koko. If you can’t tell the difference between both, then I’m sorry.
6. He always wants to know where you are.
It will look like love and accountability at first. But accountability is different from monitoring. Learn it now before it’s too late.
7. He is always making comments about the amount of male attention you receive.
He is caring, abi? Wait until you see that jealousy is different from being caring.
8. He believes in the concept of the ‘traditional woman.’
If you are a traditional woman, feel free to stay oh. But if you know you are not, nne, run and let your leg touch the back of your head.
9. Like play, like play, he’s always hinting at beating you.
“Is it me you’re talking to like that? Am I your mate? I’ll slap you oh.”
Omoge, one day will be one day when fish will swallow Jonah and the wall of Jericho will fall. Biko, run now before it will happen.
10. His friends always disrespect babes in your presence.
Who is to say they are not disrespecting you when you are not there? Disrespect is like party pack. Everybody must surely collect it. Time of serving can just be different.
11. He says things like this:
ANY WOMAN THAT I WANT TO MARRY MUST, FIRST OF ALL, STAY WITH MY MUM FOR 6 MONTHS/1 YEAR SO THAT MY MUM CAN TRAIN HER AND LET HER KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME.
Abeg run.
12. He belongs to Twitter for Violence.
Any small thing, I’m here for the violence. Yes, there are times we choose violence, but if that is all he uses his Twitter account for, my dear you have your answer.
13. He believes that even though you both marry, you are still not 100% his family.
May you not marry a man that will not consider you family. Amen, sis?
QUIZ: What Kind Of People Do You Attract?
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Marriage is not a joke. Period. To have an idea of what it really entails, I spoke to eight married people. Some have been married for a year, others 5 years, and some for fourteen years.
Here’s what they had to say:
Kay/Male/Married for 5 years.
Basically, money. Money brings peace of mind and also love. Money even makes it easy for your wife to compromise in a lot of situations. In marriage, a busy man with money is better than a broke man with time.
Victor/Male/Married for more than 10 years.
There are a lot of factors that keep one married but the most important ones are Trust, Communication, and Friendship.
When trust is broken in marriage, a lot of times people go their separate ways. However, as soon as it is broken, if you can accept your fault, you can immediately turn it around for good.
Communication can never be overemphasized when you are married. Communication is likened to accountability. Say where you are at each time. Know how each other’s day went. Talk about everything and anything.
Friendship is enjoying each other’s company and not the company of an outsider. Do everything together. You must like them as a person because love is not enough.
Olaitan/Female/Married for 1 year.
See, we are just winging this marriage thing. Sometimes, you want to go back to being single because you can take decisions for yourself and by yourself alone.
For instance, if I want a particular kind of house and I can afford it, as a single person, I’d definitely get the house. In marriage, if my partner doesn’t like that kind of house, I have to consider his feelings and look for common ground. I can’t do agidi and say this is what I want.
However, I also try not to compromise all the time so that I don’t lose myself. Sometimes, I try to get my way. Especially on issues that affect me personally – like my dressing or stuff. But not on big issues that affect both of us.
If you want to continue being selfish, please don’t get married.
Chi-chi/Female/Married for 8 years.
I realized that for you to stay married, you would have to start preparing yourself from when you’re single.
What do I mean?
I encourage every person to find their individuality. To learn more about themselves. What makes you happy? How do you want to be loved? What irks you? How do you show love? Know these things so that when you see it, you’d identify it. Not knowing would mean having to discover and love yourself in marriage. This is a recipe for disaster and definitely requires more work.
Also, you have to be prepared to love. Love in spite of. Because asides from seeing the things you love in your spouse, you’d discover things you may not have anticipated. Another thing is to be committed to loving your spouse especially in the way he/she wants to be loved.
Damola/Female/Married for a long time.
One word – Tolerance. With tolerance, both spouses can understand each other and then create a strong bond. Tolerance entails respect, acceptance, appreciation. It’s just the same way you tolerate roommates in school.
Habeebat/Female/Married for 4 years.
Before I got married, my mum and aunties told me that three “soft skills” are important for a lasting marriage – patience, perseverance and overlooking. They shared so many examples of how they handled issues that I began to think I was better off in my father’s house after all.
From my own experience, I have found out that communication is vital. It’s a life skill to know when to let a matter rest, and the appropriate moment to bring it up. I had to learn to not drop a matter “as e dey hot”. It’s also important to look at issues from your partner’s perspective and acknowledge it, even if you don’t agree with it.
Finally, patience and perseverance doesn’t mean losing your self respect. It’s a balance between understanding where your partner is coming from, and waiting till they reach where you want them to be. Especially in your requirements of love. Lastly, you must be able to overlook things like in-laws. Those ones are the part of the marriage package.
Lekan/Male.
Patience, sacrifice, and a lot of unlooking should do the trick.
Emmanuel/ Male/ Married for 11 years.
At the end of it all, regardless of all what you do, there’s an element of luck/favour/grace to this marriage thing. You can marry who you think is right for you at that time, and life changes them. They start to become different people over the course of the marriage. At the end of the day, there’s no rule to this thing. Just enjoy each day as it comes and one day you’ll see that you’ve been married for a long long time. If it doesn’t work out for you, it’s not the end of the world.
Having a failed marriage is not a death sentence.
What do you think? Share with us in the comments section.
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Introducing your partner to your Nigerian parents can be tricky. Especially if you and your parents see the world differently. While many parents want the best for you, there is still the fear that they may not completely understand your choice of partner.
With this in mind, I asked 5 Nigerians about their worst fears when they finally introduce their partners to their parents.
Here’s what they had to say:
Bode/26/Male.
“I am scared that my parents will not accept her because her parents are not together. I can already picture my mum shouting “broken home ke?” and calling a family meeting. I don’t think it is fair that she has to suffer for the sins of her parents. It’s not like she asked her parents to separate or anything. It’s very unfair.
The truth is that if push comes to shove and my family asks me to choose between them and her, I don’t know if I would be strong enough to fight for her…”
Godfrey/27/Male.
“This girl checks all my boxes: She’s Igbo, she’s catholic, she’s a professional and she’s also team light-skinned; it’s a steal. However, the problem is that my parents want me to marry someone from my hometown in Imo state and she’s from Anambra.
They are adamant that they won’t accept anyone outside my hometown. We have argued over this matter over and over again but they don’t want to see reason. They keep bringing up their experience with people from other tribes and telling me about how wicked other people are. I love my parents but their outlook on this matter is scaring me.”
Fatima/24/ Female.
“I have been dating this person for two years now but he has never met my family. Well, that’s intentional on my part. My dad is an Alfa and he has always told me that I must marry someone who has at least memorized the Quran and my boyfriend doesn’t meet the criteria. He still struggles with completing his daily solats talk less of reading the Quran.
I feel guilty about even having a relationship because it is not allowed in my religion. I was hoping he could meet my parents so we can discuss plans for marriage and I can stop feeling guilty. I am worried that taking him home will scatter everything – I will lose boy, I will lose marriage, I will lose my family’s respect. See, I am tired because this life is somehow.”
Chi-Chi/28/Female.
“My current boyfriend had a child when he was 16 and foolish but he didn’t marry his baby mama. I love the kid like my own because he looks so much and behaves like his dad. I mean at first, I was wary of dating someone with a child because Lagos men can embarrass you. With time, I have come to fall in love with this kind man who is trying to make up for youthful exuberance. The only thing is that my father will never in his life approve of me marrying someone or even dating someone that has a child. He thinks it’s a recipe for disaster. That the person will always love their first child over the ones we eventually have. I have convinced my mum but she has assured me that she can’t help me in this matter. I am not looking forward to when they meet at all.”
Shola/31/Female.
“After leaving two failed marriages, I have fallen in love with a man who wants to marry me as his second wife. I even met his mum and siblings and they are in support of his decision. The tricky part will be selling the idea to my parents because they are elders in the church. I can already picture them dying from second-hand embarrassment because their child wants to be a second wife. They openly preach against the dangers of polygamy and here I am going against their wish.
My own is whether they like it or not, I will marry this man. It’s not like they will be around forever. At the end of the day, it’s my life and not their own.”
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1. This one about yeye boyfriends.
2. This important question.
3. Nigerian women, after tweeting ‘Men are scum’ all day.
4. This advice on relationship fights.
5. When you’re trying to frustrate your boyfriend’s life but he doesn’t fall for it.
6. When your boyfriend says “Come Here”.
7. When your girlfriend jams your side chick in public.
8. When a short man starts toasting you.
9. When you and bae are both dead inside.
10. This one about Yoruba relationships.
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So you just finished watching a nice romantic movie.
You’v blown your nose and wiped your eyes.
And now you are wondering how many boyfriends you need to be truly happy.
You need one that will stop your church aunties from asking you about marriage.
One that is your cafeteria – bringing breakfast, lunch and dinner.
One that is your financial helpmate and proxy ATM machine.
You need another one that is a semi professional fighter, that is ready to fight everyone on your behalf.
You need the one that is a professional lover boy. Always speaking sweet words and composing poems.
Then you need the one that is everything at the same time so you can have peace of mind.
