Corper shun | Zikoko!

To Serve Our FatherLand…Or Not?

Welcome to this Episode of “This is Nigeria”. Today, we would be placing our focus on our Minister of Finance.

Mrs. Kemi Adeosun
For those who aren’t Nigerians. Let me quickly explain something to you. There is a program called NYSC.

National Youth Service Corps (NYSC)
In Nigeria, after your university education, it is mandatory that you serve your country through this said program.

Without doing this program, you won’t be qualified to get a job or run for political posts.
Now, let me give you a brief history on our Minister of Finance just before we connect the dots to this story.

She went to school in the Polytechnic of East London where she graduated at the age of 22.
She didn’t move back to Nigeria immediately, so obviously she couldn’t serve her country immediately.

Oh, I forgot to mention that as long as you graduate before 30 you are mandated to serve at any time.
She got a job after graduating and changed jobs over 5 times from 1989 when she graduated up until 2000.

Wow, she must be really hardworking.
She moved back to Nigeria in 2002 when she got offered a job in a private company. Finally, she gets a chance to serve her fatherland.

But no, she came back and didn’t partake in the program.
Her career skyrocketed to the point where she became Nigeria’s Minister of Finance.

Such goals!
Nigerians have ears everywhere and know everything. I promise you. Because they were able to dig out the fact that Mrs. Adeosun never served Nigeria.

But she is serving as the Minister of Finance? How?
For some reason, she has a certificate. And a lot of people have come to the conclusion that its a fake one.

At least until Mrs. Kemi can prove otherwise.
Its very important to talk about it because the average Nigerian can’t get a job without having done NYSC.

And you can even face jail time for not participating in this program. It’s that important.
With all of this in mind, I just want you to know that there is a high possibility our Minister of Finance did not serve her fatherland.

But no worries, once she speaks up about it. I’d let you know.

Eniola

July 9, 2018

General

Anti Corruption, Corper shun, Corpers, corruption, kemi adeosun, Minister of Finance, Nigeria, Nigerians, NYSC, Politicians, Youth service
How Many Of These People Did You Meet In NYSC Camp?

You’ll never be exposed to a crowd of people as diverse as those you’ll meet in NYSC camp. Although the living conditions are appalling these people almost make the whole experience worth it.
There are the ones who just came back from the overseas and will start stressing everybody with ‘that’s not how we did thing in the States’ and accent.

Even the ones who went to Cotonou will have British accent.
There are the ones who were only interested in getting exeat so that they could go home.

They didn’t come to suffer with you commoners.
The ones who just came to drink their destinies away at mammy market.

But on a serious note, they might have actually needed professional help.
Then there were the ones who belonged to the school of hard knacks and only came to have as much sex as they could.

It’s just three weeks, it’s that how the konji is doing you?
The ITKs that were always volunteering for everything.

They didn’t rest until they became platoon leader.
The ‘do you know who my father is’ people?

If you don’t geddifok out of here.
The ones who were somehow so excited to be in camp.

Have you seen the toilets? What’s making you happy?
We can’t leave out all those promise and fail soldiers.

The ones that’ll tell you don’t worry if you march well you’ll get posted to the capital and you ended up getting posted to a village without light.
The ones who were only there for the food.

All the food sellers at mammy market knew them.
The ones you are pretty sure were old enough to have been in the first ever batch of NYSC.

They might have even been your father’s age mate.
The ones whose life mission was to never step foot on the parade ground.

They did whatever it took and were always in the clinic.
There was the friendly soldier everyone liked.

They didn’t have any wahala.
And the one who was only interested in making people miserable.

But who offended you?
The ones who came to camp to find love.

And they found it o.
The ones who secured their exeat with doctor’s report as soon as they stepped foot into the camp.

Only you asthma, cancer, bronchitis and HIV. Take your wahala and go.
So who did we leave out and which one were you?

Toketemu Ohwovoriole

June 29, 2018

General, Oldies

corp members, Corper shun, Corpers, Nigeria, Nigerian, Nigerian youths, NYSC, NYSC Camp, NYSC CDS, Otondo, youth corper, Youth service
9 Things Nobody Will Tell You About NYSC

If you are about to start NYSC or you’ve even started already we know you’ve probably heard a ton about how the whole program works. But there are some things nobody will tell you, and we are here to help you out.
All the Uncles and Aunties that told you to wait for NYSC to finish before you bring your C.V. will suddenly disappear.

It’s only God that can judge them.
Don’t die on the line trying to get Lagos, have you seen Ibadan or Abeokuta?

At least there is no traffic there.
If they tell you to come at 8 a.m for anything that means you should come at 12 p.m

Don’t waste your precious time.
It’ll frustrate you like everything else in Nigeria is designed to do but it’s really not a bad experience.

If you are lucky you’ll get retained at your PPA.
If you get posted to an unfamiliar state just stay there and explore a different culture.

Are you not tired of seeing yellow buses and Lekki-Ikoyi link bridge? You want to spend your whole life in Lagos that’s why you think there are only three tribes in Nigeria.
Don’t let anyone you don’t know collect money from you to ‘work’ anything.

All those ones that’ll tell you not to go for monthly clearance that they’ll help you work it, you’ll be there looking when your mates are passing out.
Camp is a pretty great place for you to meet people that can epp your life.

Better don’t dull it.
The khaki they’ll give you is not loyal any small rough play and the thing will tear and disgrace you.

So you better sew a backup at mammy market before you leave camp.
And finally when it’s all done you’ll actually miss it a little bit.

At least you were collecting 19,800 every month instead of sitting at home.

Toketemu Ohwovoriole

June 26, 2018

General, Oldies

cds, corper, Corper shun, Nigerian graduates, NYSC, NYSC Camp, NYSC CDS

To Serve Our FatherLand…Or Not?

Welcome to this Episode of “This is Nigeria”. Today, we would be placing our focus on our Minister of Finance.

For those who aren’t Nigerians. Let me quickly explain something to you. There is a program called NYSC.

In Nigeria, after your university education, it is mandatory that you serve your country through this said program.

Now, let me give you a brief history on our Minister of Finance just before we connect the dots to this story.

She didn’t move back to Nigeria immediately, so obviously she couldn’t serve her country immediately.

She got a job after graduating and changed jobs over 5 times from 1989 when she graduated up until 2000.

She moved back to Nigeria in 2002 when she got offered a job in a private company. Finally, she gets a chance to serve her fatherland.

Her career skyrocketed to the point where she became Nigeria’s Minister of Finance.

Nigerians have ears everywhere and know everything. I promise you. Because they were able to dig out the fact that Mrs. Adeosun never served Nigeria.

For some reason, she has a certificate. And a lot of people have come to the conclusion that its a fake one.

Its very important to talk about it because the average Nigerian can’t get a job without having done NYSC.

With all of this in mind, I just want you to know that there is a high possibility our Minister of Finance did not serve her fatherland.

How Many Of These People Did You Meet In NYSC Camp?

There are the ones who just came back from the overseas and will start stressing everybody with ‘that’s not how we did thing in the States’ and accent.

There are the ones who were only interested in getting exeat so that they could go home.

The ones who just came to drink their destinies away at mammy market.

Then there were the ones who belonged to the school of hard knacks and only came to have as much sex as they could.

The ITKs that were always volunteering for everything.

The ‘do you know who my father is’ people?

The ones who were somehow so excited to be in camp.

We can’t leave out all those promise and fail soldiers.

The ones who were only there for the food.

The ones you are pretty sure were old enough to have been in the first ever batch of NYSC.

The ones whose life mission was to never step foot on the parade ground.

There was the friendly soldier everyone liked.

And the one who was only interested in making people miserable.

The ones who came to camp to find love.

The ones who secured their exeat with doctor’s report as soon as they stepped foot into the camp.

So who did we leave out and which one were you?

9 Things Nobody Will Tell You About NYSC

All the Uncles and Aunties that told you to wait for NYSC to finish before you bring your C.V. will suddenly disappear.

Don’t die on the line trying to get Lagos, have you seen Ibadan or Abeokuta?

If they tell you to come at 8 a.m for anything that means you should come at 12 p.m

It’ll frustrate you like everything else in Nigeria is designed to do but it’s really not a bad experience.

If you get posted to an unfamiliar state just stay there and explore a different culture.

Don’t let anyone you don’t know collect money from you to ‘work’ anything.

Camp is a pretty great place for you to meet people that can epp your life.

The khaki they’ll give you is not loyal any small rough play and the thing will tear and disgrace you.

And finally when it’s all done you’ll actually miss it a little bit.