Before you start the quiz, download the OneBank app by Sterling Bank and create an account using ZIKOKO as the referral code. You’ll get a free ticket and the chance to have the time of your life at Strings Attached.
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We’re not saying you shouldn’t trust the love of your life, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Why take your partner to a concert that might lead to the untimely death of your relationship when you can just go see these artists in peace?
Portable
You, your beau and the entire crowd will be too busy shouting “zazu” and “ita” for the possibility of jumping on stage and getting close and personal with Portable to ever cross anyone’s mind.
Johnny Drille
The only thing that’ll happen at Johnny’s concert is that you and your partner will fall harder for each other. No deep eye contact with your beau as he sings, no shouting yellow, and definitely, no “bending.”
Adekunle Gold
AG baby can tell us he’s still our baby as many times as he wants, but we all know deep down that he’s actually Simisola’s baby. There’s a higher chance of him singing and dancing to her on stage than anyone from the audience, so your relationship is in good hands.
Tems
The only thing Temilade wants to do onstage is sing about her love life and warn people not to try her. She already has dancers, so she won’t need additional help from the audience, we promise.
Yemi Alade
Mama Africa is there to make sure you have a good time. She might call you on stage, but it’ll most likely be to have a dance-off and not seduce the LOYL.
Timi Dakolo
All you’ll do at a Timi Dakolo concert is fall deeper in love with each other while getting inspiration for your relationship as you both listen to him sing about how much he loves his wife.
Simi
Unless you or your partner’s name is Adekunle Gold, there’s a zero percent chance Simisola will ask you to grace the stage with her.
ShowDemCamp
They might ask your partner to come up if their birthday is near, but you’re still safe because all they’ll do is make them feel special. However, if your partner has a crush on them, that’s a story for another day.
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As if all the shege we’ve seen in 2023 isn’t enough, Detty December just isn’t “dettying” as it used to. The cost of everything has tripled, and it’s starting to look like home is where the only fun we can afford is.
But if you’re determined to have a lit December regardless, and still plan to attend music shows and be outside, you should arm yourself with the knowledge of what it would cost you.
SPINALL – Party Of Your Dreams 2023
When: December 17, 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. the next day.
What to expect: Five-hour high-energy live performance from DJ Spinall at the Federal Palace Hotel and Casino, Lagos.
Budget: Free. But if you live on the mainland, consider your cab fare.
Flytime Fest (Rythym Unplugged)
When: December 21, 6 p.m. to 3.30 a.m. the next day
What to expect: Performances from some of our favourite names in Afrobeats at the Eko Convention Centre, Eko Hotels and Suites, Lagos.
Budget: Only VIP tickets are available, and each costs ₦156,100.
Rooftop Karaoke
When: December 21, 6 to 11 p.m.
What to expect: A chance to pretend like you know the lyrics to your favourite song and sing offkey. Location is the Boardroom Apartments, Prince Samuel Adedoyin St, Ikate, Lekki, Lagos.
Budget: Free, but you’ll need to register.
NATIVELAND Festival
When: December 22, 3 p.m. to 2 a.m. the next day
What to expect: An all-day party at NATIVE’s annual music festival, happening at Sol Beach, Lagos.
Budget: Ticket prices start at ₦20k for students and go as high as ₦150k for the VIP experience.
Palmwine Music Festival
When: December 23, 2 p.m. till midnight.
What to expect: A live music experience with Show Dem Camp (SDC), and of course, palmwine. Venue is the Muri Okunola Park, Lagos.
Budget: Students can experience the festival with ₦21,100, but other ticket classes range from ₦31,600 to ₦73,600. If you identify as a “Superfan”, be ready to shell out ₦157,600.
Flytime Fest x Kizz Daniel
When: December 23, 6 p.m. to 1 a.m. the next day.
What to expect: A night with the “Buga” and “My G” crooner at the Eko Convention Center. You might want to tag your Nigerian aunty along. Rumour has it that he’s popular with that age group.
Budget: Only VIP tickets are available now, and you’ll need to shell out ₦104,100 to secure one.
Otaku Connect ‘23 Lagos
When: December 23, 10 a.m.
What to expect: Otaku Connect ‘23 is an anime convention, so prepare to meet anime enthusiasts and cosplayers. It’s billed to happen at the Rango Rooftop Lounge, Lagos.
Budget: Tickets start from ₦3,500.
Afropiano Beach Festival
When: December 23, 1 p.m. till midnight.
What to expect: An all-day festival featuring vibrant and diverse sounds of African music, performed by some of the hottest Amapiano & Afrobeats DJs. Venue is Sol beach, Lagos.
Budget: Ticket prices start at ₦25k.
Flytime Fest x Davido
When: December 24, 6 p.m. till 1 a.m. the next day.
What to expect: I mean, it’s OBO. It’s happening at the Eko Convention Center, Lagos.
Budget: This is also VIP-only, which costs a pretty ₦104,100 per ticket.
Grand total spend:
₦433,900 only (exclusive of transportation costs)
This total is based on the assumption that you only get student and general entry tickets where available, and are rich enough to attend all the shows — which you must be since you’re determined to have a lit December.
There are four shows on December 23 alone. But the more, the better, so hop from one show to the other. The goal is to have enough memories to hold onto when January’s sapa rolls in.
NEXT READ: No Music Festival? 7 Alternative Ways to Properly Detty Your December
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Nigerian artists might leave you waiting for a good 30 minutes to an hour before they start their shows, but they’ll definitely make the wait worth it. From their stage presence to the props and theatrics, these artists will give you a show of your lifetime.
Rema
At this point, we might have to change Rema’s name to Crowd Controller. Once Divine climbs that stage, he’ll have the crowd eating out the palm of his hands. Another thing is certain: He’ll do it with all the finesse in the world.
Ayra Starr
From her bad gyal fits to her vocals and audience engagement on stage, Ayra Starr has never been known not to give a show.
Davido
We knew Davido was in his live performance bag when he dropped out of the sky at his 2018 Eko Atlantic concert. Since then, it’s been back-to-back finishing for anyone that goes to see him perform. He’ll utilize every inch of his stage, and have all his friends and family come to perform, because after all, “We rise by lifting others”.
Burna Boy
Burna Boy has mastered the art of live performances. He might show up a couple hours late and spend the first 30 minutes on that stage going off on everyone. But once he starts his performance, all the anger that’s been building up in you will vanish, and you’ll be in awe.
Wizkid
They don’t call him Big Wiz for nothing: He’s shut down the 02 arena in London three times in a row. Best believe Ayodeji Wizkid Balogun is walking on that stage to giveyou a show. And he’ll bring out other people to join in on that show.
Asake
Asake had an insane run in 2022 and decided to take the insanity out of the studio and to the stage. He’ll perform live renditions of his songs, and they won’t sound the same as the studio recording. As long as he thinks it’ll make you have a good time, Mr. Money will deliver it.
Shallipopi
The president of Pluto might be new in the game, but he’ll certainly entertain you and leave you begging for more. He knows his audience can sing his entire discography word for word. He’s also very aware that his discography isn’t very long, so he’ll dance and hype the crowd up and have everyone screaming his song back at him. Shallipopi will have a good time on that stage and show his plutomanias are having a good time, too.
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Dear Nigerian musicians, please and please, you’re not the only one inflation is using to play ludo. What are these Detty December concert prices?
After all the stress of 2022, we agree you deserve not just Z! Fest in November but all the concerts in December too, just for premium enjoyment. But how do you attend your fave’s shows despite your struggling funds? Let’s break it down.
Date a bouncer
This is a classic case of sleeping with the enemy. Bouncers are the main reason you can’t get into a Nigerian concert without a ticket. So imagine how easy your life would be if you started dating one or two. They won’t be able to chase you with their muscles. Just make sure you date the ones guarding the doors to lit concerts, not dead ones abeg.
Become a backup dancer
Almost every musician needs a backup dancer, and not everyone can afford Kaffy. A surefire way to attend Nigerian concerts is by learning how to legwork and break dance at the same time. If you don’t know how to do this yet, come to Z! Fest on the 26th of November [2022] to learn from Liquorose.
Sell your father’s house in the village
When it comes to choosing between family inheritance and Asake concert tickets, I expect you to make a wise choice and organise that money ASAP. After all, your father would’ve done the same thing for Fela or Bongos Ikwue back in the day.
Become a musician
You still have till the end of November to record and release a song that’ll make you blow. Once you become famous, bigger artists invite you to open their show, and you can join the crowd after your performance. Trust me, singing is not that hard. We have like five singers here at Zikoko.
RECOMMENDED: 7 Ways To Enjoy Detty December On A Budget
Follow people who can afford tickets on social media
Who says you can’t attend a concert virtually from the comfort of your own room? Sure, you might miss most of the show and drain your data, but at least it’s free, and you don’t have to stand and wait till 3 am for a 7 pm show to start.
Befriend an IJGB
The only reason you’re complaining about the price of Detty December concert tickets is because you still earn in naira. If you convert these ticket prices to pounds or dollars, it’s not even up to the money IJGBs spend on McDonald’s abroad. Just make sure you avoid the ones who want to ruin your life sha, because those ones are plenty.
Learn how to vomit foreign currencies
I know it sounds impossible, but thankfully, Zikoko has already dropped tips on how to vomit pounds. Look at us teaching the leaders of tomorrow how to create their own foreign reserves. I stan.
Stream your fave’s music and imagine it’s live
Please, print out your fave’s picture, open your Spotify app, place that printed picture on your chest, then close your eyes and imagine they’re performing right in front of you. Like Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston sang, “You will when you believe”.
ALSO READ: 10 Types Of People You’re Likely To Meet At A Concert This December
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Nothing prepares you for the drama that comes with going to a concert in Nigeria. From the main artist who chooses to show up seven hours late to the upcoming artist who expects you to sing along to a song they dropped that morning, everyone acts like they’re on steroids. With concert season around the corner (those prices though), we’ve made a list of people you’ll most likely run into at the next show you go for.
1. The One With A Curfew
They will spend the entire time reminding you that they have a curfew and need to be home before 10 p.m. This is funny because everyone knows that Nigerian concerts never start on time. Most of the time, these ones leave before the main act gets on stage (which is usually at 3 a.m).
2. The One Always Looking For A Place To Crash Until Daybreak
Despite knowing that concerts run until very late, these ones won’t make plans for how they’ll get home or where they’ll sleep if they can’t get a ride.. They are basically running on vibes. If you meet someone like this at a concert and share a laugh together, they’ll ask to spend the night in your parlour.
3. The One That’s Too Big To Dance
If there’s one thing Nigerians love, it’s forming. Why are you at a concert standing like an electric pole? These ones will rather die than actually admit that they’re having a good time. Tragic.
4. The One That Won’t Stop Dancing
These are the people that don’t understand the difference between a concert and a nightclub. Yes, you can dance o, but this is not Maltina Dance All so calm the hell down. They show up to concerts and start throwing their legs everywhere like Liquorose. All you can do at this point is get out of their way to avoid injury and let them finish.
5. The One Trying To Outsing The Artist On Stage
Arguably the most annoying group on this list. They will shout, not sing, every word as if their life depends on it. We get it. You’re a super fan. But please dear, we didn’t pay to hear you sing, so kindly geddifok.
6. The Ones Who Don’t Know The Lyrics
They’ll be in a corner passionately singing the lyrics to your favourite song but if you look closely, you’ll see that they’re just chopping their mouths singing a version of the song even the artist has never heard before.
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7. The “I Was Dragged Here” Concert Goer
They probably got dragged there by their friends or have been forced to chaperone their siblings. Either way, they will spend their time side-eying and judging everyone that’s having a good time, just because they think they have better taste in music. Go and sell your taste in the market and allow us to have nice things.
8. The Discount Documentary Filmmaker That Wants To Record The Entire Concert
The most common on the list thanks to everyone constantly clinging to their phone. While it’s okay to record a couple of clips for the gram, these ones with their 512GB phones must record every single moment. It’s almost like they’ve been contracted by Netflix to make a documentary.
9. The Overly Touchy Couple
You know the couple with the girl in front and the guy behind her holding her waist? They’re practically inseparable and do all they can to remind us single people that we ain’t shit. Honestly, we can’t stand them either. Get a room! We came here to watch a musician, not two random people dry hump each other.
10. The Creepy Guy That Doesn’t Understand Consent
The absolute worst are the guys who go to concerts and harass women who just came to have a good time. They feel like it’s their right to dance with anyone they want to because “we are all having fun”. Don’t be a part of this group of people. You will get your ass kicked and thrown out of the concert.
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It’s the festive period and you want to have as much fun as you can handle. That pepper dem song should have had your name on it but no worries, you plan to create a new song for yourself while you’re having a lit December.
But the only blip on your radar at the moment is limited funds, truth is your income is not as big as your spending goals. So you’re thinking of the best way to manage your funds and still have the best time of your life. Well, we’ve got some tips for you:
1) Know what you want:
There are so many events that will clamour for your attention this month, from concerts to mini get-together’s, festivals, office parties, family hangouts and so much more.
The key to getting the best experience is to know which one would be the most fun for you to attend, as well as being cost-effective. This is where the scale of preference you learned in secondary school comes in, choose wisely. Do you really want to go to yet another dinner and award when you could be rocking it at a concert with your favourite artistes? That’s up to you to decide.
2) Buy tickets on time:
Early birds get the best worm. You don’t want to be biting your finger in regret when you hear that you could have gotten a ticket at 50% off if only you had bought it the week it came out. Don’t let your procrastination have you coughing up more funds than you can afford.
3) Go out with friends:
This is a smart move if you’re on the precipice of being broke. Aside from the fact that you get to hang out with people you love, you also get comfortable fessing up to your homies that sharing the bills is the best thing for you at the moment. So, carpool, share a meal, buy group tickets, do group funding. This way, you won’t end up broke AF in January.
4) Organise house parties:
Instead of lying in your bed wondering why brokeness has made you this way host a party at home and invite your friends. This will reduce the cost of a venue and you can tell everyone to chip in with their option of snacks, foods, and drinks if those are limited too.
Don’t forget to get a boom box blasting with your favorite songs and encourage your friends to bring someone new to the fold, you just might meet a new bestie this way.
5) Revamp your clothes:
So you want to buy new clothes at the boutique but do you remember that fab outfit you bought months ago which you refused to wear because the moment wasn’t right? Now is the time to wear it.
You could also get new accessories to go with those cute jeans and tee that haven’t seen sunlight in eons.
6) Go to street carnivals/festivals:
This is one way to have fun if carnivals are up your alley. Find out what’s going on in your area, which artiste will be performing and what date and time the carnival will kick-off. You might want to check up on the security levels and go with trusted friends if you choose to attend.
7) Have a cash reserve:
Have backup cash that remains untouched, come hell or high waters. You can party to your heart’s content when you know that you’ll still have something left to survive on afterward.
Imagine what fun it’ll be for you grinning like a Cheshire cat when everyone complains of how broke they are in January and you can say with your chest that you took a wise move during the holidays and saved up something for later.
