We already told you all you need to know to be the ‘perfect’ Nigerian wife, now we want to tell you how to be the ‘perfect’ female co-worker in Nigeria. Here’s how to make all the misogynists in your office happy:
1. Make hot tea for everybody the moment you get to work.
What else do you think you are there for?
2. You must greet all the men in the office before you sit down.
Go into their offices and kneel down. They don’t have to greet you back though.
3. Regardless of what they hired you to do, you are now the office secretary.
Take all the messages for your colleagues. They shouldn’t even have to ask you.
4. Make sure your car is not bigger than that of any of your male colleagues.
You don’t want to intimidate them at all.
5. If you’re not a “Mrs”, keep your opinions to yourself.
You’re single? Why are you now talking?
6. When your male colleague cracks a sexist joke, laugh the loudest.
The misogyny should not pain you.
7. If your colleague makes a mistake, keep quiet. He probably has your type at home.
Why are you correcting a man? Will you keep kwayet.
8. Don’t order lunch with your colleagues because you should have cooked from home.
You’re even supposed to cook for the whole office.
9. If your colleagues start giving you unsolicited advice, take it with a smile.
Marriage advice? Hair advice? Dress advice? Just smile and listen.
10. Make sure your heels are not higher than anyone else’s in the office.
You’re not there for fashion show. The uglier the better.
11. If you’re not married, don’t leave work early. Where do you know you’re going?
Who are you going home to see? Sit down there jor.
12. Make sure all the men have finished talking during a meeting before you add your mouth.
If not, just wait patiently.
13. When your colleague is sexually inappropriate with you, say “sorry” for tempting them.
Your skirt must have been too tight. Don’t do it again.
14. Remember that as long as you’re a spinster, your colleagues can call you a “girl”.
If you want to officially be a “woman” go and marry oh.
15. If your male colleague repeats exactly what you just said and gets all the credit, don’t complain.
It’s your fault for not being a man.
