clean | Zikoko!

Don’t wear white

The only way to prevent people from staining your white in this city is not to wear white at all in the first place, and we mean that both literally and figuratively.

Or dress like a ghost

Better yet, you can dress like a ghost if you must wear white. Nigerians are scared of them, and you’ll use that to get everyone to avoid you. Problem solved.

Always be on guard

Don’t go around thinking nobody will soil your clothes. There are 20 million people in Lagos, so from the moment you step out of your house, you have to remind everybody your head use to touch occasionally.

Don’t use public transportation

You can’t tell who’s who just by looking at their faces, so the next best thing to do is to make sure you’re not even seeing many people in the first place. One way to do that is to not take public transportation if you can afford to. If you can’t, and you still want to stay fresh and fine, the next point is for you.

Don’t live in Lagos

Your odds are still a lot better if you don’t live in Lagos sha, because that’s where all the madness is. Nobody will stain your white if you just go to a place that’s less rowdy and has fewer people. But the question is, will you listen?

Or just stay in your house

We’ll repeat it just so you get it. Stay in your house. Nobody can come and disturb you there.

Have baths regularly with the new Dettol 5C Cool

If you know you can’t do all these things but you still want to stay fresh all the same, you need to have your bath with the new Dettol 5C Cool soap. As it helps you stay fresh and gives up to 5 degrees cooling sensation all day without having to worry about all the hassles of living in an ever-bustling city that is constantly trying to make you unfresh. Watch this Dettol Cool 5C Cool ad to motivate you to take your hygiene seriously and stay refreshed. Now, don’t say we haven’t done anything for you.

Sheriff Alimi

April 26, 2023

Inside Life

clean, Dettol sachet, life hacks, selfcare
You might be calling yourself a neat freak when you’re actually not. Take this quiz to find out if you truly are:

Select all that apply to you:

You make your bed more than once a day

You don’t like people cleaning your room

You get irritated when someone moves your stuff and doesn’t return it the same way they met it

You wash your clothes every day

You mop your room every day

You shower more than 3 times a day

You’ve sat on the floor/chair because your bed was too “arranged” to be scattered

You have separate dustbins for inside and outside

All your clothes are in hangers

You have an ironing board

You have more than 3 bath towels

You use a different towel for your face

You only use disposable cups

You are committed to your skincare routine

You don’t wear shoes inside your house

You don’t like wearing people’s clothes

You replace your sponge every 3 months

You wash your eggs before using them

You iron all of your clothes before you wear them

You clean your mirror at least once every week

You got #{score}/#{total}
Are you sure you don’t need to contact a cleaning agency?👀
You got #{score}/#{total}
You’re not a neat freak and you’re not not a neat freak either. You’re sitting on the fence.
You got #{score}/#{total}
Try to dey calm down sometimes dear. Your own is getting too much.
You got #{score}/#{total}
Someone can’t even come to your house and be comfortable. They’ll be hearing “don’t do this” and “don’t touch that” everywhere. Nawa o.

Miriam Onyemenam

November 23, 2021

In Your Feels, Quizzes

clean, cleaner, cleaning, neat freak, neatness, Personality
1. Your mother, when it’s Saturday morning and you’re still sleeping:

See this lazy child.
2. When you hear your mother blasting gospel music and you know endless cleaning is about to go down.

Hay God!
3. When you try to eat breakfast before you’ve done any work.

Eat what?
4. When your mother sees you watching Cadbury’s breakfast television before you’ve finished your work.

Is this child mad?
5. When you are already cleaning the whole house but your mother is still like:

Hian! What is it?
6. When you think you’ve finished and your mother invents new work for you.

Chineke!
7. When you hear “today is environmental” but every Saturday is already environmental sanitation to you.

See these ones.
8. You, finally eating breakfast when it’s almost evening:

This one has passed brunch.
9. When you want to go out that Saturday so you wake up by 3am to do all your chores:

Can’t risk it oh!
10. When your mother leaves the whole kitchen for you to clean after her Saturday cooking.

Is it fair?
11. The worst Saturday morning chore:

THE ABSOLUTE WORST.
12. When NEPA waits for you to complete all your chores before they take light.

Who is doing me from my village?
13. When you are finally about to rest and you hear “let’s go to the market.”

WHAT IS IT OH?

Daniel Orubo

July 29, 2016

Oldies

Africa, chores, clean, growing up, mornings, Nigeria, Saturday
Nigerian parents just know how to stress someone. When they’re not asking you to wash plates, they’re making you clean some annoying places. Here of 13 of them:
1. The fan blades.

I should break my hands?
2. Under the kitchen cupboard.

Because the visitors will eat their rice under it abi?
3. Mop under the bed.

Will the visitors look under it?
4. The entrance of your neighbour’s house.

When did we become our neighbour’s keeper?
5. The window louvres.

So the louvres should slice my hand abi?
6. The buglary proof.

Mummy, it is metal!
7. Behind the TV.

But the visitors won’t watch the TV from the back na.
8. Your neighbour’s fence.

No be me build am na.
9. The corners of the ceiling.

Jesus! How?
10. Under the car.

Are you trying to punish me?
11. Behind the dressing table.

Hay God!
12. Under the gate.

Jesus didn’t die for this oh!
13. In short, the whole street.

Kuku kill me.

Maryam

May 19, 2016

Oldies

clean, Nigerian parents, stress, wahala

Don’t wear white

Or dress like a ghost

Always be on guard

Don’t use public transportation

Don’t live in Lagos

Or just stay in your house

Have baths regularly with the new Dettol 5C Cool

Questions

This is a question

Select all that apply to you:

You got #{score}/#{total}

You got #{score}/#{total}

You got #{score}/#{total}

You got #{score}/#{total}

1. Your mother, when it’s Saturday morning and you’re still sleeping:

2. When you hear your mother blasting gospel music and you know endless cleaning is about to go down.

3. When you try to eat breakfast before you’ve done any work.

4. When your mother sees you watching Cadbury’s breakfast television before you’ve finished your work.

5. When you are already cleaning the whole house but your mother is still like:

6. When you think you’ve finished and your mother invents new work for you.

7. When you hear “today is environmental” but every Saturday is already environmental sanitation to you.

8. You, finally eating breakfast when it’s almost evening:

9. When you want to go out that Saturday so you wake up by 3am to do all your chores:

10. When your mother leaves the whole kitchen for you to clean after her Saturday cooking.

11. The worst Saturday morning chore:

12. When NEPA waits for you to complete all your chores before they take light.

13. When you are finally about to rest and you hear “let’s go to the market.”

1. The fan blades.

2. Under the kitchen cupboard.

3. Mop under the bed.

4. The entrance of your neighbour’s house.

5. The window louvres.

6. The buglary proof.

7. Behind the TV.

8. Your neighbour’s fence.

9. The corners of the ceiling.

10. Under the car.

11. Behind the dressing table.

12. Under the gate.

13. In short, the whole street.