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  • The Slay-est Christmas Hairstyles in Nigeria

    Christmas is just five days away. What better way to announce your readiness for the holiday than a fitting hairdo? In case you can’t decide what to make, we compiled a list of Christmas hairstyles in Nigeria that’ll have pleasant compliments coming your way.

    Christmas hairstyles for ladies in Nigeria

    Nothing beats the sweet feeling of showing up at the family party and having everyone ask, “Who is your hairdresser?” You can only get that if your hairdo is drop-dead gorgeous. These options will get you started.

    Goddess braids

    The Slay-est Christmas Hairstyles in Nigeria

    You might spend hours at the salon, but trust us, it’ll be worth it. Nothing screams “I’m Christmas ready” like a salon trip that takes you hours.

    Jumbo braids

    If you’re not a fan of long salon hours, this is your go-to. It’s elegant, it gives strong “I just made my hair” vibes, and it’s low maintenance.

    Ghana weaving

    The Slay-est Christmas Hairstyles in Nigeria

    The good thing about simple ol’ Ghana weaving? There’d be no chance for questions like “You mean you’re wearing a plot of land on your head?”

    Braided bun

    It’s not all up in your space, and you can even throw in some Christmas-themed accessories.

    Low cut

    The Slay-est Christmas Hairstyles in Nigeria

    If you hate the harmattan and blazing hot sun package that comes with Christmas, getting a simple low cut is where the magic is at. Throw in some colour for extra oomph.

    Christmas hairstyles for men in Nigeria

    If the girlies are worked up and looking up the best Christmas hairstyles in Nigeria, you best believe the homies are matching their energy. Everyone wants to slay.

    Buzz cut with a side fade

    The Slay-est Christmas Hairstyles in Nigeria

    Listen, rock this cut and you might as well be the reason for the season.

    Low fade with curls

    Go for this look if you want that sweet balance between dreads and a low-cut.

    Cornrows

    Christmas is that one time of the year when you can get away with a lot of things. Braid your hair this season, and your Nigerian parents will laugh it off because they trust it’s temporary.

    Clean shave

    The Slay-est Christmas Hairstyles in Nigeria

    If you’ve ever considered pulling off a clean-cut, now might be the time to try it and surprise everyone who knows you.

    Twists

    For if you plan to be outside a lot. It’ll get the girlies looking your way.

    [ad]

    Christmas hairstyles for little girls in Nigeria

    Do you have daughters itching for the coolest Christmas hairstyles in Nigeria? Do you want your nieces to crown you the best for coming through with their Christmas looks? Then these hairstyles are the answers.

    Braids

    The Slay-est Christmas Hairstyles in Nigeria

    Let’s start with the obvious option. But you should consider braids if the kids have a great tolerance level. It’ll last them through the festive season, and you can style the braids in many different ways.

    Braided puff

    Accessorising will bring out the beauty of this style. And your little one will crown you the best.

    Cornrow pigtails with twists

    The Slay-est Christmas Hairstyles in Nigeria

    Throw in some beads, ribbons and other Christmas-themed accessories.

    Cornrow ponytail

    This is a nice choice if you’ve got a daughter who likes to go extra. The three different sections will make her feel fly.

    Heart-crossed braids

    Adeyinka Odutuyo

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  • These Nigerians Aren’t Excited About Their Low-Budget Christmas

    Nigerians are usually excited during the Christmas season, but it’s the third week of December 2023, and the atmosphere is very not Christmasy. Instead, citizens are caving under the weight of inflation — the exorbitant prices of “everything”.

    We asked eight individuals how they’ll celebrate the season, and one thing is clear, they will have to settle for a stripped-down, low-budget celebration.

    Abike * 28

    I’ve attended about five Christmas shows this month, and when I calculated how much I spent on cab rides, it came down to about ₦58k. Just yesterday, I spent ₦14,800 to go to the Island. I had to jump bus back home. The cab prices are so ridiculous. I can’t believe I have to bail out on places I’d love to go simply because I check the cab prices and I can’t afford it. I don’t think I’ll go out a lot this Christmas because I don’t see these prices changing soon.

    Joe* 37

    My company dropped a bombshell on us last Friday: they couldn’t afford to pay our 13th-month bonus this year. After the year we’ve had, I sort of saw it coming, but I kept my hope alive. I mean, it’s Christmas, which company doesn’t want to make its employees happy during Christmas? Right after the announcement, I had to pull out of a four-day Ghana trip I’d planned with friends so it wouldn’t strain my December salary. I’ll settle for a small celebration at home. Maybe I’ll order food on the day to spark some joy, but that’s about it. I’d hate to start gnashing my teeth in the first week of 2024 because I went wild with my spending for Christmas.

     [ad]

    Abimbola* 49

    I told my kids I wouldn’t get them Christmas clothes this year. They seemed content, but I didn’t like it. Since they lost their dad in 2018, I’ve always tried to do everything he did for them during the holidays. New clothes, shoes and pocket money. But this year, things are just so tough. My second born just gained admission to a university, and the last one is in SS3, which means he’ll be on his way to uni soon. We need to save all the money we can, so this Christmas will be a modest celebration. Just us in the house with good food to keep us going. They also don’t know it yet, but I won’t host a New Year party this year. All that money can go a long way in settling more important bills. Sadly, this is what it has come to.

    Victor* 28

    I’ve shelved my Christmas plans to travel home. It’s almost as if the transport workers are conniving with the government to make life more difficult for citizens. I’d planned to take a trip to Uyo and Port Harcourt. The last time I travelled to Port Harcourt, the bus fare was ₦17,500. But it’s now over ₦15k more expensive. I guess I’ll have to make do and stay in Lagos this year.

    Temidayo* 25

    FOMO has nothing on me this year. Everything is just freaking expensive, and it’s taken away the joy of the season. In previous years, I’d attend four to five concerts with my friends. But this year? I’ve not even blinked at any of the concert announcements. Have you seen the Bolt and Uber prices? And on top of that, you have to spend as much as ₦15 – 25k on regular tickets. I’ll stay inside this holiday, abeg.

    Jeremiah *45

    Christmas used to be a time of joy and plenty. I’ll never forgive everyone involved in getting our country to this point where everything is just hard. It’s a struggle to create the same memories I enjoyed as a kid for my children. I used to have a budget of ₦150-200k just for Christmas, and it was enough to have a great time. We’d get two live turkeys, cartons of juice and just stock up the house. My wife went shopping last week with the same budget, and we just had to laugh at what she returned with.

    34* Bisoye

    The situation in the country is so bad that I don’t even have plans to celebrate Christmas, not to talk of setting a budget. There’s no money. I’m going through a divorce, and it’s a lot. The legal fees are currently at about ₦550k. I’m in no mood to celebrate, but maybe I’ll visit a friend and spend the holidays with them.

    Idowu* 28

    Before December came, I already knew I wasn’t going to gallivant around Lagos unless I needed to. I’ve already turned down invitations to big events because of the amount I’d spend on transport. I’ve also been taking a lot of public transport this December. And anybody who knows me knows I mostly opt for private cabs. I live on the mainland, so I’ll stick to going to Ikeja instead of spending on Bolt fares to the Island. My mantra this season is “Home is where the heart is.” Stay indoors to avoid unnecessary debit alerts.

    Adeyinka Odutuyo

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  • 8 People to Avoid This Festive Period

    Many will return home to spend time with their loved ones because it’s the end of the year and holiday season. Those who haven’t seen each other in a while will link and catch up. People will bond over food and create new memories.

    But in all these doings, there are some types of people who must be avoided if cheer and relaxation is what you want.

    Reckless spenders

    It’s important to spend and ball wisely this December because January will be here in mere seconds. Don’t let your peer’s spending spree lead you astray. Go out with the elderly ones and leave the burden of payment to them.

    People who bill

    But in choosing the elderly loved one to move with, don’t choose a black taxer by mistake. Anybody who bills you this holiday is inconsiderate — except you’re Tinubu’s minister or an assistant to his assistant. You might want to bill them, but that’s different.

    Entitled people

    You haven’t seen or heard from them in a long time, but they get upset because you’ve forgotten them? Except they’re those area brothers you have to settle to avoid trouble, please avoid them..

    People who don’t send invites

    They’re your “friends”, but they haven’t invited you to their house to eat Christmas food? Please, tell them to fix up before it’s too late and they lose you forever.

    Team promise-and-fail

    If your friend pledges to waybill you your Christmas food, but no delivery guy shows up to your door, he or she is a scammer. Immediately, start avoiding such friends.

    Unappreciative people

    Detach yourself from people who don’t appreciate and respect your time or feelings. Don’t let them take you on an unnecessary cruise this Christmas. 

    Party poopers

    Anybody who dulls your vibe in or outside your house should be thrown away.

    FitFam people

    These ones are the worst of them all! Anyone who won’t let you breathe eat this festive time without bringing up your weight or the gym, cut them off till after New Year’s. There’s a time and place for everything, please.

    Tomide Marv

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  • Five Reasons Why Your Christmas Menu Needs More Than Jollof and Fried Rice

    Christmas is in a couple of days. While the voice in your head might shout jollof rice, fried rice and salad in response, we urge you to consider other options this year. 

    You already eat one or the other every Sunday

    You’ve spent the entire year eating jollof and fried rice. Now that 2023 is winding to a close, do you want to continue with that? Let yourself and your taste buds rest, we beg of you.

    It’s a celebration 

    You made it through big 2023. It’s time to lay out an actual assortment of food and drinks and have a ball.

    You have enough time

    You have seven full weeks, all the time you’ll ever need to step up your cooking game and attend a Christmas class by a Guinness World Record holder herself. 

    Hilda Baci’s cooking class is just six days away, and you’ll get to learn over 160 recipes, five plating techniques, and let’s not forget the prizes you might win.

    There are other types of rice

    We understand that you, jollof rice and fried rice have an unbreakable bond. But we beg you to please allow the spirit of Christmas break whatever has joined the three of you together.

    To showcase your culinary prowess

    Think about it. What better chance will you get to test all the recipes you’ll learn from Hilda Baci’s Christmas cooking class on your unsuspecting family members? 

    Chioma Munachi

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  • 8 Things Nigerian Holiday Hampers Desperately Need

    The best gifts are those that come straight from the heart. What better way to show a Nigerian you care about them than by gifting them these eight things. 

    Agbado, cassava, ewa and garri

    Everyone knows the economy is hard, and December is expensive. These foods will be especially useful in the 54 days before salaries are paid in January.

    Gallon of petrol

    Imagine spending your holidays in heat and darkness, or queueing long hours at the fuel station, because NEPA chose to be unfortunate. If you really love someone, you should save them that stress by adding 25 litres of petrol to their hamper. 

    Laxative

    A packet of Flagyl shows you’re thinking ahead. You don’t want your loved ones spending Christmas eating and New Year’s purging. 

    Broomstick 

    With the current hikes, who really wants to spend money they don’t have on transportation? Do someone a favour this season and gift them a magic broomstick. That way they won’t have to worry about traffic or “higher prices due to increased demand”.

    Anointing oil

    Because after flying around on broomsticks, you’d probably need cleansing. We also need to cover ourselves with anointing so sapa and shege will release us from their chokehold in 2023. 

    Visa 

    After the suffering we faced in 2022, the only worthy compensation would be a British or Canadian visa. If you can’t gift someone a visa, at least, give them dollars or pounds. Not every year cornflakes and corned beef, abeg.

    Significant other

    If there’s one thing we should achieve as a nation, it should be reducing the number of people on the streets.  

    PVC

    A reminder that after all the holiday enjoyment, they should come out and vote in February 2023. 

    READ NEXT: The Best Under-₦10k Christmas Gift Ideas for Your Coworkers

    Meyimi O.

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  • Dear Santa, All We Want for Xmas Is a New Nigeria

    Dear Santa, 

    I’m writing this letter on behalf of all Nigerians. I’m not here to ask for an iPad or a car — although if you could give me those, that’d be great (especially the car because I’m tired of entering danfo bus). No, this is to ask you for a better Nigeria.

    Honestly, Santa, I have beef with you. How do you have the power to give people whatever they want (as long as they’ve been good), and you haven’t given me the better Nigeria I’ve been asking for? I’ve been a good girl for so long: I’ve stopped stealing meat from the pot in the middle of the night, I now do chores without complaining,  I share with the less privileges (AKA my siblings)…yet you keep giving me coal. Meanwhile, our wicked Nigerian leaders keep getting new cars, houses, vacations, etc. Is it fair? Whose side are you on?

    I’ve come to ask again. And I need you to come through for me and other Nigerians now more than ever. 2022 has been one hell of a tough one for us. ASUU had an eight-month strike, holding the students’ lives hostage. Some even forgot about school and started businesses. This is the year the national grid collapsed more times than people at a Michael Jackson concert. Electricity supply was scarce, and it affected business and other aspects of people’s daily lives. And on top of that, fuel scarcity had us in a chokehold every other week. 

    Then there was the crazy inflation. Food prices seemed to double every week. Santa, Double Chickwizz is now ₦1,500 (it was ₦1k at the start of 2022), can you believe that? One pack of Indomie is ₦140 (was ₦70), evaporated milk is ₦600 (was ₦300), yam is ₦2000 (was ₦800), and the worst of it all, one egg is ₦100 (was ₦50). Do you see how we’re suffering? 

    Also, insecurity is at its peak, people are either getting laid off or owed salaries for months, the naira keeps devaluing, SARS still exists, and nobody has answered for the Lekki tollgate massacre of 2020.

    If you’re wondering what our leaders are doing about these things, they’re out there being actors, influencers, travel bloggers, content creators, dancers and jokers, coming up with policies that’ll make the lives of Nigerians even more difficult. And that’s why I’ve come to you for help, Santa. Can a new Nigeria be your collective gift to all Nigerians this Christmas? We’ve seen enough shege abeg. 

    READ NEXT: Are Nigerians Hoping to Manifest a Better Life and Country?

    Dammy Eneli

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  • It’s Highlife or Nothing – A Christmas in Anambra

    What makes Christmas tick? Is it the Christmas spirit, food, family jokes or the quiet day you get because you were forgotten while travel plans were made? Reminisce with nostalgia as seven Nigerians share their favourite Christmas memories with Zikoko; the places and people that shaped their love for the season.

    It’s Highlife or Nothing – A Christmas in Anambra

    Highlife music is the highlight of any Igbo Christmas and it was no different for my family. Whether it was on our road trip to the village, cooking or just unwinding with family, highlife music played in the background. There’s just something that happens inside our blood when Osadebe is on the radio.

    My Christmas holidays were always coloured with mischief with my cousins at the village. It’d start with an eight hour drive from Lagos to my hometown Umuoji in Anambra State. My family woke up at 5 a.m. to get dressed and load up the Sienna outside with our travelling bags. My dad would crank up the radio to play Osadebe as we drove out of the compound. My siblings and I would then fall asleep for most of the journey. 

    A Night of Carol with the Neighbours – A Christmas in Zimbabwe

    A high point of the journey was getting into Asaba. As we approached the head bridge, my brothers woke me up by yelling, “Get your trumpet, we’re almost home. we’re almost home.” With sleepy eyes, I’d blow my imaginary trumpet outside the window in excitement. My dad would then sped up the bridge while my brothers kept screaming, “We’re home, we’re home” to complement the sound of our hooting. The radio automatically switched to the local channels in the South; 96.3 FM in Lagos was completely different in Asaba. We sang along to the Igbo tunes of Osadebe on the radio as we approached Onitsha. I can still picture chewing my mouth and messing up the  lyrics with my siblings.

    Two more turns and we were in Umuoji. We drove up to our grandmother’s house; it was a dainty white duplex surrounded by tall, lush coconut trees. The  welcome chants erupted  from my cousins in the compound. As the car came to a stop, they hugged us and helped us unload our bags. We went in through the backyard to greet our grandmother. She was in the middle of feeding scraps of plantain peels to the goats in the sheds as we walked up to hug her. She turned around, smiling as she hugged each of us. My brothers and I went into the parlour to catch up with my cousins. The night ended with my siblings and I catching up with my cousin in the parlor, as we stuffed our mouths with some piping hot yam and red oil from grandma.

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    After dusting the house and sweeping the compound, we snuck into my late grandfather’s house at the back to play. It is where my grandfather received guests as the head of the home.  My cousin sat on the chair in the middle while we sat around him pretending to be village chiefs. He had a paper crown and kola nuts stolen from grandma’s cupboard. We went on singing Umuoji na sa fo, the best place to be was still Umuoji, round the king as we played in papa’s hut that afternoon. We were just lucky mama never caught. 

    The day ended in the kitchen cooking Ofe akwu. The soup is made from pounding palm kernels in a mortar, and squeezing the juice into a pot to boil. My aunty did the pounding, while I ground up spices for the soup. Everyone was seated in the backyard while waiting for the food. There was palm wine going around, with Ndi Afu Owyi Ana by Osadebe on the radio downstairs. 

    Danish Cookies and Christmas Movies – A Christmas in Surulere

    The banga was served with local rice, which is perfect for the soup. Elders were served soup in traditional bowls on the table, while the rest of us picked any kind of plate and focused on fighting to get the large pieces of meat left. The rest of the evening was spent gisting out in the backyard with my siblings and cousins. We sat on my grandmother’s wooden bench outside, talking under the moonlight, singing and dancing to the sounds of traditional Igbo tunes coming from across the street. 

    Adulting happened and life came at me fast. This Christmas, I look back on the good old days,  and the memories make me want to get in a car, turn up Osademe on my speakers and drive to Umuoji.

    If you’re bored this holiday season, take some Zikoko quizzes to spice up your day.

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    Ortega

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  • A Night of Carol with the Neighbours – A Christmas in Zimbabwe

    What makes Christmas tick? Is it the Christmas spirit, food, family jokes or the quiet day you get because you were forgotten while travel plans were made? Reminisce with nostalgia as seven Nigerians share their favourite Christmas memories with Zikoko; the places and people that shaped their love for the season.

    One constant thing in my family were the presents on Christmas day. My mum was very big on it while we lived in Zimbabwe, but moving back to Nigeria eventually changed the tradition. 

    My family lived in Harare, the capital city of Zimbabwe for nine years. December was between fall and autumn, so Christmas there was sunny and slightly chilly too. Leaves would fall off blooming trees, but not enough to create heaps by the roadside. Living in Harare felt like being in the American neighbourhoods you see in movies; rows of similar houses with picket white fences, and bright green grass on the lawns. It was quiet, peaceful and our neighbours were super friendly. In only three months of moving in, I grew fond of their two kids. We spent some weekends having sleepovers at their home or having lunch by our poolside. During the Christmas holidays, this connection was multiplied by ten. 

    Danish Cookies and Christmas Movies – A Christmas in Surulere

    Our first Christmas in Harare was without my dad. He had to leave for work, so It was just me and my mum for the day. It had been nine months of being in Harare, so we were close enough to the neighbours to invite them over for a Carol service in the evening. They were the closest thing we had to an extended family in Zimbabwe, so it was better than being home alone. 

    It started off as a chilly and gloomy morning, so I was under the duvet watching movies and eating some biscuits I had taken from my dad’s snack box. The staff handled the cleaning and cooking for the day, so all I had to do was lay in bed and fill up on baked goodies. The help brought in breakfast at 10 a.m.: a plate of toast and scrambled eggs.  I eventually rolled out of bed, put my braids into a bun and jumped into the shower for a warm bath. Then I put on a pair of jeans, threw on a cardigan and ran down the stairs to help set up in the backyard.

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    Our first Christmas in Harare was without my dad. He had to leave for work, so It was just me and my mum for the day. It had been nine months of being in Harare, so we were close enough to the neighbours to invite them for a Carol service in the evening. They were the closest thing we had to an extended family in Zimbabwe, so it was better than being home alone. 

    It started off as a chilly and gloomy morning, so I was under the duvet watching movies and eating some biscuits I had taken from my dad’s snack box. The staff handled the cleaning and cooking for the day, so all I had to do was lay in bed and fill up on baked goodies. The help brought in breakfast at 10 a.m.: a plate of toast and scrambled eggs.  When I was done, I eventually rolled out of bed, put my braids into a bun and jumped into the shower for a warm bath. Then I put on a pair of jeans, threw on a cardigan and ran down the stairs to help my mum set up in the backyard.

    It was a minimalist setup: lights draped over the branches of the avocado trees outside, mats spread out in a circle underneath with cushions and pillows piled on top of each other. My mum also set up a projector to show the lyrics of the songs for the evening on the wall facing us.

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    Our neighbours arrived later with a bottle of white wine and a box of cupcakes drizzled with chocolate sauce. The night began with a game of charades. I can still picture my mum making the funniest gestures for what in her words, was the description of a horse. After about two rounds of losing to the neighbours, we set up the projector to sing. 

    The line-up for the night was: Joy to the World, Away in a Manger, the First Noel and Silent Night. We sounded terrible and off tune, singing along to the lyrics, but I loved it. Our parents had wine while we had cans of Maltina served in between each set. The best part was having my mum get up to sing Silent Night while we all watched. I still think it was the wine, because she was usually quite conservative. 

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    The night ended with a feast of rice, chicken and salad finding their way into our stomachs. There was laughter and chatter into the rest of the night. We spent the last few days of the holiday in between game nights at their house and a trip to Victoria falls for the New year together. Even with just our neighbours, it didn’t feel like Christmas away from family back in Zimbabwe. 

    When we moved back to Nigeria, I missed the connected feeling I felt in Zimbabwe.  There was food, family visits and getting treats, but it lacked the quiet intimacy of Harare . I hope I get to take my kids to experience Zimbabwe all over again with my own family. Christmas was such a beautiful time there.

    If you’re bored, take some Zikoko quizzes to spice up your day.

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  • Danish Cookies and Christmas Movies – A Christmas in Surulere

    What makes Christmas tick? Is it the Christmas spirit, food, family jokes or the quiet day you get because you were forgotten while travel plans were made? Reminisce with nostalgia as seven Nigerians share their favourite Christmas memories with Zikoko; the places and people that shaped their love for the season.

    • Christmas Series

    Between my little sister, mum, dad and I, Christmas was pretty laid back each year. We weren’t the type to throw parties or open presents under a tree; for us, Christmas was about food and laziness. I got to eat stuff I wouldn’t find in the cupboard on any other day of the year: chocolates, juice, and biscuits. And Christmas mornings were my favourite because we didn’t wake up to chores. Everything that needed to be cleaned was brushed or mopped the day before. 

    My favourite Christmas started this way, with something extra special from NEPA. I remember this particular Christmas because we had uninterrupted power for two whole days at our flat on Simisola Street. It was so strange to wake up to light, then to have it all through the day and next? 

    QUIZ: Who Will You Celebrate Christmas With?

    My sister and I woke up earlier than usual that Christmas, maybe due to the strange wind blowing us from the fan once they brought the light. The first thing I did with this gift from NEPA was rush into the living room to catch those early morning cartoons on cable. I switched on the Toshiba TV and cosied up on the couch with my sister. Thanks to our youngness, when Mumsi got up to cook two hours later at 8 a.m., we were allowed to continue watching TV. Mumsi loved to bake for Christmas. If I try, I can usually picture her in the kitchen, throwing in the ingredients in a bowl, mixing flour with milk for cakes and nutmeg for chin-chin. 

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    We had moved from cartoons to film and were in the middle of Dr Dolittle when dad walked in with treats for the day. These snacks usually came from the hampers he received from work. The hamper for this particular Christmas was so big, I’d been excited since the day he brought it in. It had huge bottles of cashew nuts, two jars of Horlicks, Goody Goody and then there were these cookies in a big, shiny, round blue container. They looked so elite. Sadly, we weren’t getting any of it until Christmas afternoon.

    So when my dad walked in with the shiny blue tin, opened it and handed us three pieces each, My tastebuds were ready to be bamboozled. I wanted to savour every bite. I nibbled on the edges of the first one, scratched my tongue against the sugar on the second and left the third for too long in my mouth as I tried to lengthen the experience. It was so milky, so sugary. I begged for some more.

    When mum was done in the kitchen, she handed us some bottles of mineral, with a plate of Jollof rice and grilled chicken for lunch. I took a sip of my drink and settled into the steamy plate of rice as we enjoyed the rest of the movies lined up for the day. 

    I don’t know if it was the cookies or just the feeling from laughing together in the living room watching Christmas movies. Maybe it was the electricity we had all day, but this Christmas was it. Once that cold bottle of Fanta hit the roof of my mouth and dissolved the remaining sugar stuck to my teeth, I knew no other Christmas experience could top this.

    If you’re bored this Christmas, take some Zikoko quizzes to spice up your day.

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  • QUIZ: Can You Score 9/12 On This Christmas Carol Quiz?

    How much do you love Christmas? How strong is your Christmas spirit? How well do you know your Christmas carols?

    Niola

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  • 7 Sure Ways to Force Your Company to Close for the Holiday

    Who does your boss think they are? Keeping you at the office when Christmas is only a week away? Don’t worry, as always, Zikoko has a solution. These are the steps to claim your title as the boss and CEO of your life, and get the hell out of that office for the holidays.

    1. Don’t show up at all

    My dear, do CEOs rush for anybody? No. You arrive when you arrive because na you dey steer this ship.

    2. Remove your shoes at the door

    If not showing up is too much of a risk for you, it’s okay. You can do this one. Just remove your shoes at the door and walk around the office barefoot. That’s the next step to letting them know you’ve arrived this season.

    3. Move your chair to the middle of the office

    You can jam some music too so the office can have holiday spirit.

    4. Call out his/her bullshit

    Are you fucking want wo se yeye mi! Since HR is sleeping, it’s better to take matters into your own hands. 

    5. Stop bathing and brushing for work 

    You can also move into the office. You have to be committed to this thing. By the time you say good morning twice, your oga can just evacuate the place on your behalf. 

    6. Bring your partner to the office

    There’s no reason to keep your love at bay anymore. If you need privacy, just tell the office to ask their boss to step out so you can have a bit of enjoyment while you work.

    7. Host your family for the day

    Remember when your boss said you were all one big family at the office? This is the time to prove that. Carry your village people with you to help out at the office. A few words of prayer and anointing oil will sanctify the office for a new year. They gonna see werey.

    Try any of these steps and HR will send holiday notice before the week runs out. Then you can chill and take some Zikoko quizzes during the break!

    [donation]

    Ortega

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  • QUIZ: What Type Of IJGB Are You Going To Meet This December?

    Are you going to meet an Azul sipping or a Dollar earning IJGB this December? Take this quiz to find out.

    Ibukun

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  • QUIZ: What Do You Deserve For Christmas?

    Everyone deserves a Christmas gift. What should yours be? Take this quiz to find out:

    Miriam Onyemenam

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  • QUIZ: How Many Christmas Terms Can You Unscramble In 2 Minutes?

    If you can unscramble these Christmas terms, you deserve a Christmas gift. Take the quiz:

    Father Christmas

    Songs and hymns

    Cold and dust

    Jesus was born in a…

    Birthplace of Jesus

    A day after Christmas

    Christmas month

    Another name for gifts

    Another name for birth

    Christmas makes you spend time with…

    Jingle…

    Revamp

    No hint needed

    Miriam Onyemenam

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  • 5 Nigerians Share Their Best Christmas Memory

    Christmas is an annual celebration of the birth of Christ, characterized by gifting, being around friends and relatives, and making beautiful memories. We asked 5 Nigerians to share their most memorable Christmas experiences with us, and this is what they said:

    1. Martha, 23 

    Most memorable should be the year I left secondary school. My family did a photoshoot, got Christmas hats and my brothers taught my dad how to play assassin’s creed. It’s the full house playing scrabble and video games once a year that makes it memorable. We all lived in different states in the country, so everyone coming together made it very special.

    1. Fatiha, 21

    Every Christmas apart from this one is memorable for me. My cousins and their parents are Christians, and they come from Ondo State every Christmas to their holiday home in Akure. I am their favourite cousin, so I tag along. The Akure home has everything in abundance. We eat, watch Korean dramas, have fun on the balcony (great view) and talk. It’s one of my best days of the year. 

    1. Chinenye, 24

    Christmas has always meant too much cooking and stress and other annoying things at home for me, and I’ve never been that into Christmas. Last year was the most memorable. I was with Chima, my boyfriend, my little sister her boyfriend, and my friend, Lily. I made rice and chicken, and she made Afang. We had ice cream and cake, wore Christmas hats, took tons of pictures and played like little kids. 

    1. Damilola, 23

    Christmas 2007. My childhood had great Christmases, but this one stood out because it was one of the first we spent away from home. We went to my maternal grandma’s house. It was one of the few times my mom and her siblings from the same parents could be together under one roof. It was also the first time I met my cousins, and I instantly clicked with the first son, Segun, even though he was three years younger than I was. I was comfortable.  This memory sticks out because it’s one of the few memories I still have of my time with my cousin before he was killed in the university about two years ago. 

    1. Faith, 20

    In November 2018, my uncle, who is a tanker driver, had an accident in Nassarawa. He was our favourite uncle, the type that dashes you money for no reason. He even sent me ₦5k last Monday. This uncle also has diabetes and treating him cost us so much. So we went from hospital to hospital trying to get him proper care. He wouldn’t stop bleeding. At the hospital, we were told he had intracranial haemorrhage. He was bleeding in his brain.

    He had a surgery on the 23rd and woke up on the 24th. We were so happy ehn, Jesus. We sent him fruit salad and chicken that night.

    On the 29th, his words started slurring, and he complained of a migraine when he tried to talk. They took him back to ABUTH, and we were told the bleeding was on the other side of his brain too, that the first CT scan only showed it on one side, so they had to do surgery and drain the blood on the opposite side of his head. Haa, that was how we went for surgery again. And he came out all fine. I was glad.

    You can enjoy more Zikoko Christmas themed stories here.

    Muhammed Akinyemi

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  • 8 Ways That Christmas As An Adult Is Different From A Child’s

    Christmas as an adult is less fun than as a kid. Although the emotions are similar, every adult knows that the difference is they are responsible for how everything turns out to be.

    This makes Christmas a daunting season for many because of the expectations and family drama associated with it. Furthermore, while a child always expects to receive gifts at this time an adult is required to give instead. Here are some things that make Christmas a different experience altogether:

    Decorations and food are on you:

    Being a child comes with the assurance that Christmas dishes will always be available because someone provides them. Now, however, you’re not so sure if you’ll be able to have the good old Christmas rice and chicken available on the D-day, so you’re working double-time to ensure that you don’t end up drinking only water on Christmas day.

    You’re gonna have to rethink attending those parties because they are a money drain:

    When you were a kid it was all about wearing new clothes and having your hair done for Christmas so you could attend your friend’s party, you also had to present at your school’s Christmas carol, church carol and drama presentations. 

    Nowadays though, things have changed for you, now you have to think about the monetary aspects of these. The number of church groups you’re in determines the monetary contributions you’ll make, there are concert tickets to think of, you also need to buy drink vouchers at that ticket-free event. And let’s not forget the family reunion that has you buying more clothes, shoes, and foodstuff than you need

    The emperor’s new clothes are on you:

    Let’s be honest, all you were really bothered about when you were younger was if you were gonna get that video game you really wanted or if your mother would let you go on the slide and bouncy castle while you eat cotton candy. Christmas clothes were the last things on your mind because you knew you’d always have something new to wear.

    But now you have grown and you have to buy all those stuff yourself. And it’s more than usual because there are even more places that require your presence. Some are themed parties that require specific clothes you’ll never wear again after the event.

    Now you are the one buying presents:

    Remember those times you anticipated visits from your aunts and uncles because of the presents you’d receive? Haha, now you are the aunt/uncle and you have to buy presents for those cute babies your siblings and cousins wouldn’t stop birthing. Think of when you have your own kids too–no excuses then either.

    You’re gonna have to rethink your travel plans:

    Travelling is no longer an excuse for an excursion, you don’t even get excited by the sights. You’ve been disillusioned by adulthood so much you only see potholes and experience road rage.

    You also think of the double fees you are gonna have to cough up for that flight ticket because you know everything gets more expensive during Christmas (why do merchants complain of being broke in January too?).

    You’ve got your boss and coworkers to think about:

    As a child, it was guaranteed that you only had to give your friends, parents, and siblings gifts but now you have to think about a whole village when buying presents.

    Not only will you be visiting the orphanage, giving to the less privileged, giving your family and giving church donations, you will also be giving your boss and colleagues Christmas presents, even those you hate and no, nobody appreciates handcrafted gifts anymore, please.

    Trying to be on the good graces of your employees:

    Because you know how they will look at you if you don’t throw an office party and you don’t give them their bags of rice and bonuses.

    They don’t want to hear about how prices of things have skyrocketed during Buhari’s tenure, just give them their groundnut oil abeg.

    Command performance at family reunions that have you screaming on the inside:

    Attending family events as a kid was such fun because you got to run around and play, eat lots of food, get many presents and attention from your older relations.

    However, the adult version can be horrific, because this is a time you have to show what you’ve been doing all year and you don’t want your IJGB cousin stealing away your spotlight. You also don’t want that other cousin who couldn’t look you in the eyes a few years ago monopolizing the conversation now that he has a chieftaincy title.

    Gabriella Opara

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  • 8 Places To Avoid This Christmas If You Don’t Like Stress

    So the month you’ve been looking forward to the whole year is finally here and you get to enjoy every minute of it. Eating, sleeping and partying with no excuses or the disturbance of an alarm because it’s the festive season.

    But if you live in Lagos with no plans of going anywhere else for the holidays you know that your stress level will increase, and you’ve probably been wondering how to make the best of Christmas in the city before the countdown to December 2020 begins. Here are some tips of places to avoid if you don’t like stress:

    Malls:

    They are usually packed with lots of people whose ultimate goal is to make it a substitute for Dubai. These people have no intention whatsoever to visit any store or buy anything at all, it’s just a photo-op for them.

    They move in packs and are sure to frustrate your life when you choose to go grocery shopping.

    Open Markets:

    Try to get all your shopping done in November, or maybe October, because navigating the streets and madness of Lagos markets at Christmas time can twist you into a pretzel and have you tearing your hair.

    Avoid places like Balogun market, Yaba market, and the almighty Oshodi market, etc if you like yourself. Asides from prizes spiking up you’ll be sure to experience the frenzy and shoving of other Christmas shoppers.

    Parks:

    Picture credit: Silverbird TV

    Oh gosh, thinking of the insects; people who don’t know what a trash can is for, people who walk on the grass instead of the pavement, the wailing kids, the loudspeakers blasting different songs and the crowd of people taking pictures at every turn like they are at Disney land is stressful enough.

    Cinemas:

    What with Hollywood and even Nollywood movies premiering in December, A LOT of people decide that taking their family– nuclear and extended– to the cinema for the holidays is the cutest thing ever.

    So you might want to stock up on home videos and Netflix subscription if you want to avoid all the crazies, whom you’ll be sure to encounter at the cinemas.

    Beaches:

    For some reason, Lagosians think that going to the beach is the coolest thing to do during the holidays. So if you’re thinking of doing so yourself just know that about 15 million other Lagosians are too.

    The beach is gonna be parked af. Think of the sweat, pee water (yuck) and inappropriate clothing that is an eyesore (how will someone wear agbada to the beach nitori olorun?)

    Eateries:

    Picture credit: Marketplace Africa

    Shucks, I’m pretty sure every 90s child in Nigeria experienced this at one time or the other especially when Mr. Biggs, Big Treat, and Mama Cass were the bomb.

    It’s guaranteed that most people on a low budget are gonna be turning up at existing eateries trying to show themselves. Best advice? Leave them be.

    Concerts:

    Hehehe. I know, I know. Who doesn’t love a good concert? But not when you get sandwiched between two louts who didn’t bother to use deodorant or when standing gets tiring because the main artiste has kept everyone waiting for 3 HOURS (y’ all should learn from Cardi B though).

    Let’s not forget trying to find the right parking space or praying that your 100th attempt at booking an Uber ride works because it seems like everyone decides to hail one at the very moment you choose to leave.

    Lagos-Ibadan Expressway And Ojota:

    Traveling out of Lagos after December 18 is probably the worst thing ever. News flash: everyone else is too! Most people will be scrambling to get out of the city so fast you’ll wonder why they even stay here in the first place.

    Meanwhile, something worth an honorable mention is the numerous church camps and revivals that happen during the early part of December. You know the ones, those ones that have everyone moving out on Fridays, leading to a frustrating gridlock that will have you weeping and swearing if the heat and noise don’t kill you first.

    Gabriella Opara

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  • 9 Reasons Why Christmas Is The Best Holiday

    1. You get a break from work/school for almost 3 weeks

    And that’s all that counts

    2. Christmas parties are the best

    I plan on going for parties from the 19th till the 30th

    3. All the free food

    Once you say free anything, i’m there

    4. People have to be nice to you in the spirit of christmas

    Even if I steal your food, you have to be nice to me

    5. If your birthday’s in December(like mine), they’ll treat you like a king

    Double blessings, just for me

    6. When your parents ask you what you want for Christmas and you can’t decide

    Do I want new phone? Or should I just collect the money

    7. Dancing to that heavy Christmas gbedu at every party

    I only do these dance moves in December

    8. Dressing up on Christmas day

    I must kill it in all the pictures

    9. It ends with the beginning of another holiday. New Years Day

    It’s the gift that keeps on giving

    Osaretin Tunde-Oni

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