Children's Day | Zikoko!

It’s May 27, and while the kids get to take the day off as a public holiday, capitalism denies adults — who are actual children of their parents — this satisfaction. But who says you can’t steal some of your employer’s time to binge-watch a cartoon or two that’ll help you make crass jokes about your adulthood struggles?

We curated a list of seven grown-up animations to get you started.

“Big Mouth”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=0XTJVsv_aRg1MNHN&v=mUrkcvGvvrM&feature=youtu.be

Don’t be fooled by the weird-looking hormone monster, Big Mouth focuses on puberty and the awkward experiences of teenagers. It goes heavy on topics like hormones, sexuality and body changes in an unhinged way. If you struggled with sexual awkwardness as a teen, you’ll relate heavily to this animation. Plus, it’s funny as hell.

“Bojark Horseman”

Think about all the existential crises you’ve experienced as a Nigerian adult, and you’ll find yourself jotting things down when you watch this animation. Bojark Horseman follows the life of a washed-up Hollywood horse dealing with depression, addiction and self-destructive behaviour. It’s a dark comedy with mature themes and many relatable moments that’ll have you muttering “God, abeg.”

“Family Guy”

One thing about this show? You’ll catch yourself asking the question, “How the hell did they allow this to air on TV?” repeatedly. Family Guy is unhinged in all the ways you can think of, and it’s worse because it references real-life events, relying heavily on slapstick humour and offensive jokes.

“Rick and Morty”

This show follows the story of a mad scientist grandpa who takes his teenage grandson on crazy adventures across dimensions. It has the right mix of violence and profanity that makes for good adult humour.

[ad]

“South Park”

One fun fact about this show? It’s been serving crass humour since 1997. South Park is notorious for social and political satire often delivered in a vulgar way. It uses profanity and violence and tackles mature themes in a way that resonates with grown-up minds.

“American Dad“

Like Family Guy, this show uses offensive humour to drive its plot and often revolves around dysfunctional family situations. Characters like Steve and Roger deliver the show’s adult jokes with no restraint. If you binge an entire season, you might catch an episode bashing capitalism for making you work on a Children’s Day holiday.

“The Simpsons“

The show follows the Simpsons, an American middle-class family living in the fictional town of Springfield. It also uses adult humour to poke fun at American culture, TV, politics and everyday human experiences. The Simpsons is famous for referencing pop culture and historical events.

Read this next: Seven Nigerians on How They Keep Their Inner Child Alive

Adeyinka Odutuyo

May 27, 2024

Pop

Adult cartoon, Adulthood, Children's Day, Nigerians
With amusement park entry fees going as high as ₦10-25k per head, cinema tickets hovering at around ₦5k and food inflation driving eateries to shoot up their prices to ₦3-5k per meal on average, there’s no doubt parents now have to do a lot more planning and calculation to spoil their kids in present-day Nigeria.

Ahead of Children’s Day 2024, I asked these Nigerian parents about their budget-friendly plans to celebrate, and they had tips for days.

Taiwo*

I have a one-year-old daughter, and my low-budget idea of celebrating the day with her would be to make her favourite meal — plantain, eggs and zobo. I could also take her for an ice cream date later in the day. I don’t think I have to break the bank for these.

Bimbo*

Take them for painting, pottery, nature sightseeing or even to a park. These are budget-friendly activities that won’t leave a big hole in your pocket. Lufasi Nature Park is almost free. But if going out is too expensive this year, I’ll consider at-home activities. I’ll bake with my daughter and cut the dough into shapes. I could also buy fruits and have her join me in the juicing process. Children like these activities a lot.

Gbemi*

Since my eight and six year old kids discovered the magic of ordering and having pizza delivered to the house, it’s been one of their favourite things to do. I don’t need to do too much if there’s a celebration. I just ask if they want pizza and you should see the way they jump and scream in excitement. So for Children’s Day, I’ll order pizza and ice cream, and I’m sure they’ll love that more than any school excursion or fast food visit. ₦10k should do the job.

Dolapo*

I didn’t put a lot of thought into planning anything because my church has taken that stress away from me. They’ve got a host of activities planned out for kids, and we just have to pay. The plan is to drop my kids off in the morning and be back for them by evening. If you’re a parent that doesn’t have something planned, you shouldn’t sleep on school or church, they always have something planned for the kids that won’t cost too much. This year, we’re only paying ₦2k per kid.

[ad]

Halimah*

My kids have asked me to take them to their grandparents. They’ll spend the weekend there, and I’ll go back for them on Monday evening. My parents always dote on them and spoil them silly with everything they want, especially my mum. You’ll think they never had kids. But I can’t complain because it takes the pressure of planning an outing or spending money away from me. Have you seen the prices of amusement parks these days? It’s not funny.

Funmi*

If your kids are within the age bracket of one to five, you don’t need to do too much. There are many things you can do around the house to keep them happy and occupied. In my case, I make sure there’s light and they have access to their favourite cartoons all day. I also bring out toys or storybooks that have been out of reach because of school. Before you know it, the day is over, and they’re back to school the next day.

Florence*

I’m in a women’s group, and we plan to take our kids out on Children’s Day. Most likely to a place that are affordable and fun. So far, we’ve considered a children’s pool, the cinema, kids karaoke or a public playground. But we’ve all agreed that going to a place that’s affordable is the goal. Fuel is not cheap these days, so it’s cost-effective to partner with other parents. And when we get a lot of kids visiting a place, it’s easier to negotiate with the management beforehand on discounts.

Read this next: Seven Nigerians on How They Keep Their Inner Child Alive

Adeyinka Odutuyo

May 24, 2024

Inside Life

Children's Day, nigerian parents and children, Nigerians
Apart from Christmas and New Year’s, one holiday that excited me as a child was Children’s Day. Listen, it was a thing at home and in school. My mum made it a point to take us out, there was always a special activity or two in school, and a party for kids in our estate.

As an adult, it’s safe to say all that excitement has gone with the wind. Children’s Day is four days away, and I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass about it. It doesn’t help that it falls on capitalism’s favourite day of the week, Monday. But I recently caught a friend’s WhatsApp status and she seemed pretty giddy about it, and for a moment, I envied her. I missed that little boy who used to love this holiday and all other childish things.

Curiosity made me slide into her DM and find six other Nigerians to share how they keep their inner child alive.

Demola*, 31

I indulge on those things that seemed elusive as a child because of money. Like buying ₦20k suya that I can’t finish, buying stupid gadgets I never use, withdrawing money just to stare at it, binge-watching anime and cartoons and anonymously commenting things that’ll sound stupid to any adult online.

Nofisat*, 28

I’m the only child of my parents, so I’ll always be the baby of the house. When adulthood comes with all its wahala, I just pack my bag and go back home to spend time with my parents. There’s a way they dote on me that makes me feel childlike. I can’t explain it, and I also don’t know if it’s the “only child” factor. My room has stayed the same for as long as I remember. So it still gives me that nostalgia of my little self getting prepped to go to school in the morning.

Aishat*, 29

I try to keep doing the things I enjoy even if there’s no one to tag along. I attend a lot of events that are themed around adults having fun like children, like fun fairs. I also surround myself with people who enjoy the same things, and it helps me stay in touch with my inner child.

[ad]

Bolanle*, 40

Toys were my thing as a child. Think of all the superhero figures, barbie sets, Legos, stuffed teddies, I had them all. On every birthday, I was always so excited about the new toys I’d add to my collection. At some point, I started saving up to buy the toys. As an adult, this love for toys has translated into a love for gadgets. Kitchen, home, office, bathroom and accessories, I’m always curious about all these things, so I end up buying them. It always makes me feel like I just got a new toy.

Dotun*, 37

I spend an obscene amount of time watching cartoons, and I’m a complete irritant while at it. You’ll see me laughing loudly and even pausing to mimic some of the characters. I remember an ex-girlfriend said, “I’m too old to be acting a fool for cartoons.” We had a fight afterwards. Life is hard enough and these cartoons help me forget I’m a man with bills to pay and other adulthood troubles to deal with.

Kenny*, 30

I eat a lot of junk food. This was a big part of my childhood. It was a thing with my mum because she used to get us biscuits, sweets and all sorts whenever we were shopping for school resumption. She didn’t just buy what she thought we would like, she took us along and we got to pick the stuff we liked. As an adult, that’s something that makes me feel like a child all over again, whether it’s when I’m eating or shopping for junk. I always have a special budget for it when I shop for groceries. Some of the traders assume I’m shopping for kids. I don’t even bother to tell them that I’m the big baby that needs spoiling.

James*, 25

I like playing a lot. I’m the uncle kids love to have around because they know I’ll roll in the dirt with them if they want me to. I’m the uncle who’ll sit down to play with their toys, play hide and seek and watch cartoons with them. I remember attending this house party with some new friends and when they asked for game suggestions I mentioned “boju boju”. Everybody had this “Guy, really?” expression on their face. If only they knew I was dead serious.

Read this next: 30 of the Dumbest Things Nigerians Did As Kids

Adeyinka Odutuyo

May 23, 2024

Inside Life

Adulthood, Children's Day, Nigerian youths, Nigerians, young Nigerians
It’s Children’s Day and 1990s kids matter too. So even though you’ll never get a public holiday on this date ever again, let’s re-live our memories as kids carelessly enjoying these seven juice boxes from our time

Telephone drink

Dansa

This was the 5alive of the late 1990s and early 2000s. Whenever there were guests at the house, we’d buy packs of Dansa out and lay them out on the fancy ceramic trays. There was nothing as heartbreaking as waiting for a guest to leave some in the pack only for your mum to stare at you in a way that’d quench your thirst.

BB star

For the Gen Z babies, BB star is the senior brother of Viju Milk and FreshYo. The thing about this drink was that it was never enough. You always had to have more.

RELATED: 7 Things We Miss About Children’s Day

FanDango

There was no sweeter feeling than ending school with a cold pack of FanDango in the 1990s. It was way more expensive than all the other juice boxes, so it was a miracle to convince your parents about why you needed it. But when you succeeded, the begging and crying were always worth it.

Tampico

Only OGs remember this fraudulent drink After sucking on the nylon two or three times, the entire orange flavour would disappear. It was probably a waste of money, but it was still worth having on a hot day, especially when you were stuck in traffic with your parents on your way back from church or school.

RELATED: What Do You Deserve to Get for Children’s Day?

Why this drink doesn’t exist anymore is something I will never understand. There’s no way to describe how it felt running to grab one before everyone else during break time. I can still picture licking it down to the last ice and keeping the empty pack as a toy. Indomie generation can never relate.

Don Simon

Sneaking this in because we naughty kids used to steal sips from the pack. Now we’re raging alcoholics cosplaying happiness every week and fighting to be considered children every Children’s Day. Life comes at you fast.

Gold Spot

Nothing can ever beat drinking this from this OG glass bottle. It’s like the risk of breaking the bottle and getting the beating of your life was everything. Fanta later replaced it sha, but Gold spot will always be in the hearts of true millennials.

ALSO READ: Children’s Day: 17 Signs You Need to Get Your Man a Children’s Day Gift

Ortega

May 27, 2022

Chopist, Inside Life

Children's Day
Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please.

On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article just for you.

1. The advertisement’s a week before

Every brand that lives on God’s green earth would do what I like to call the battle of brands, dishing out heartwarming adverts so we could all beg our parents to buy us things we’d hate an hour later. How else would you know children’s day was close?

2. The parties

You either went to a party hosted by a television station, a bank, a restaurant, an amusement park or that one family friends mom that has plenty of money and the party? Capri-sun, those weird erasers that don’t work, surprise pack. Those were the days, with the bouncing castles and rides.

If you’re into memes, check out this mind-blowing Nigerian meme site we created. Click Here

3. The parades

I was and will always be against marching for no reason but people seemed to enjoy marching at the national stadium and there were gifts there too.

4. The party food

The Jollof, with big pieces of chicken and hot drinks, always slapped better when we knew we were being celebrated. Some things just feel sacred

5. The party games

We were allowed to lose our home training only on the dance floor. Is it ridiculous to dancing Shakira’s hips don’t lie in a ball gown? Yes, but that was not the point. If you won, who gon’ check you? The dance around the chair game mostly ended in tears and the one where you’d have to bring out the person that brought you to the party to dance, take me back.

6. The gear

Nice shoes and clothes if your parents were about that life, wristwatches that didn’t work after that day and the sunglasses, don’t forget the sunglasses.

7. The do-over party

Churches and mosques would still celebrate the kids again when they went to church or the mosque. Man what a time we had during children’s day.

If you’re into memes, check out this mind-blowing Nigerian meme site we created. Click Here

Malakai Bassey

May 27, 2021

Inside Life, Oldies

Children's Day, Inside life, Nostalgia
When you hear Children’s Day, many of you think it’s for your little nephews and nieces and your neighbour’s children. But what of that your girlfriend? Oh, you think because she is in her 20s, she is no longer a child? Think again.

If she manifests any of the characteristics we have listed here, please buy her a children’s day gift. At the very least, take her to an amusement park, let her play with her fellow children.

1. If her younger sister is taller than her.

Please buy that child a Children’s Day gift.

2. If she has this skirt.

You better buy her pinging leggings and yori yori blouse to complete her wardrobe. Maybe buy her hair bond too. Be her father and her lover.

3. If she still lives with her parents.

She will be considered an adult when she is independent. If not, the committee will still consider her a child, plis.

4. If she types am instead of I’m.

You’re dating a Kindergarten babe in adult abeg. If she refuses to change, she’ll be getting a children’s day gift every year.

5. If her shoe size is between size 32 to size 40.

Please buy her konkon shoe. Let her wear it to church to recite her memory verse.

6. If her hand cannot reach the top shelf or the ceiling fan.

The same way you have been helping her to achieve great things, help her achieve that feeling of childhood again. Buy her a gift!

7. If she owns any of these sandals.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me.” Buy Chinenye of Galilee a new pair of sandals so she can join other children to meet the Lord.

8. If she runs before crossing the road.

Girlfriend that does not have courage, is that one an adult? It’s very sure she’s still in children’s church.

9. If she cannot spell.

You too, judge it. Doesn’t she deserve a gift? Maybe Queen Primer.

10. If she cannot solve Maths.

Test her. If she fails, take her to the amusement park to meet her fellow kids.

11. If she is the last born.

Clearly, you are dating a child. Text her to wish her a happy children’s day!

12. If her name is Princess or Mama.

My dear, you know what to do. Buy that poor child a gift.

Kunle Ologunro

May 27, 2021

Inside Life

Children's Day, Humour, Sarcasm
Children’s Day in Nigeria is always fun. Younglings all over the country get the day off school to be entertained by people wearing old and creepy cartoon costumes, and parents remember to show love to their children. Good times.

But children are not the only people who deserve gifts today. If your man checks at least five of the boxes in this article, he deserves a Children’s Day present.

1. He’s under 5’7.

A man under 5’7 is a child disguising. Don’t be deceived. Get him his children’s day present today.

2. He likes breast.

If your partner likes breast, he needs to be showered with love and affection today. Celebrate him.

3. You call him baby.

You’re already calling him baby. What else remains?

4. His beard hasn’t connected.

We don’t really have to explain this one, do we?

5. His shoe size is smaller than 47.

Yes, we said it. Fight us.

6. He eats cereal.

If your man isn’t having eba for breakfast, akpu for lunch, and the tears of his enemies for dinner, he’s due for a children’s day present.

7. He has older siblings.

So you mean he’s calling someone brother Bayo, or sister Rosemary? Please, he deserves a gift today.

8. His parents are proud of him.

We don’t make the rules. All men with parents deserve Children’s Day presents.

9. He has a gaming console.

Who plays games? You’re right; children.

10. You can lift him up when you hug.

If you’re strong enough to lift your man up when you hug him, you’re now his mother. Take him to Mr. Biggs and let them paint his face.

11. He doesn’t have six packs.

If he doesn’t have a six pack yet, he’s still on his way to full manhood. In the meantime, get him his gifts today.

12. He’s still in university.

You can decide to send him his weekly allowance as your token of appreciation to him on his special day.

13. He drinks juice.

The mildest thing a man should drink is beer. Any other thing is too soft for someone that calls themselves a man.

14. He cannot finish a bottle of Hennessey in one gulp.

If your “man” cannot condemn one bottle of Hennessey in less than 2 minutes, he’s still learning work. He needs a toy car.

15. He doesn’t have chest hair.

Buy Cussons baby oil to rub on his chest. There you go, girlfriend/wife of the year.

16. He watches anime.

CARTOON? HE WATCHES CARTOON? Amusement park is open today. Please make sure he has fun.

17. He types lyk dis.

If we talk, they’ll say we’re saying too much.

David Odunlami

May 27, 2021

Inside Life

Children's Day

“Big Mouth”

“Bojark Horseman”

“Family Guy”

“Rick and Morty”

“South Park”

“American Dad“

“The Simpsons“

Telephone drink

Dansa

BB star

FanDango

Tampico

Don Simon

Gold Spot

1. The advertisement’s a week before

2. The parties

3. The parades

4. The party food

5. The party games

6. The gear

7. The do-over party

1. If her younger sister is taller than her.

2. If she has this skirt.

3. If she still lives with her parents.

4. If she types am instead of I’m.

5. If her shoe size is between size 32 to size 40.

6. If her hand cannot reach the top shelf or the ceiling fan.

7. If she owns any of these sandals.

8. If she runs before crossing the road.

9. If she cannot spell.

10. If she cannot solve Maths.

11. If she is the last born.

12. If her name is Princess or Mama.

1. He’s under 5’7.

2. He likes breast.

3. You call him baby.

4. His beard hasn’t connected.

5. His shoe size is smaller than 47.

6. He eats cereal.

7. He has older siblings.

8. His parents are proud of him.

9. He has a gaming console.

10. You can lift him up when you hug.

11. He doesn’t have six packs.

12. He’s still in university.

13. He drinks juice.

14. He cannot finish a bottle of Hennessey in one gulp.

15. He doesn’t have chest hair.

16. He watches anime.

17. He types lyk dis.