change | Zikoko!

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change | Zikoko!

Have You Ever Collected Wretched Money By Mistake?

1. So, you went to quickly buy something.

2. And you were in a hurry so you just collected you change and ran off.

3. Normally you would have left your change, as a tip.

4. But recession, so no chance of that one!

5. Anyway, now you’ve gotten home.

6. Only to check your change and see torn notes everywhere.

7. So what are you meant to do now?

8. First you try to use the money to pay for something at the same store that gave you the wretched change.

9. Only for the cashier to say they don’t accept such money.

10. Then you try to give it to a bus conductor, who asks you if you’re crazy.

11. Then, you think of dropping it in the offering basket only to see the usher looking at you, like:

12. Then, you try to “dash” the money to one of your small cousins but he laughs at you, like:

13. At the end of the day you end up keeping the money in one drawer, hoping and praying you wake up one day and it’s brand new.

14. But so far, no such luck!

Jola Ayeye

January 18, 2017

Oldies

change, finance, Funny, list, money, Shopping, stress
7 Ways Your Change Runs Away From You

1. When you give the conductor 500 naira and he says “I dey come”.

2. When the supermarket cashier says they don’t have change.

3. When you buy something in traffic and the traffic lights change before you can collect change.

4. When you send your small cousin on an errand and they decide your change is their payment.

5. When you put change in your bag and it disappears somewhere inside… forever.

6. When policemen decide to harass you, you look at your change like:

7. When your are in a hurry and you forget your change in the supermarket.

Jola Ayeye

January 9, 2017

Oldies

change, finance, Funny, list, money, Shopping
The Story Of My Runaway Church Change

1. So I was in a church service last week and it was fantastic!

2. The ushers shook me and it was like God himself welcomed me.

3. Then the choir was on point, singing like heavenly choristers!

4. And the man of God had preached one wonderful word!

5. He used all his veins to preach and was sweating viscously by the end of the sermon so I know.

6. It was all round fantastic!

7. Then it was offering time, blessing time!

8. I was so motivated by the sermon and the whole service I decided I must give.

9. So I put my hand in my wallet, and dropped something for the Lord!

10. That’s when I realised I had dropped my last 1000 naira!

11. Hay God!

12. I was supposed to use that money to go home, buy lunch and small credit.

13. So after service I went to the church office.

14. I then asked for my change.

15. This is how they were looking at me.

16. So I repeated myself!

17. Ladies and gentlemen I received another sermon oh!

18. And the moral of the story was that the Lord will repay me.

19. So no credit, no lunch and I trekked home!

Jola Ayeye

December 6, 2016

Oldies

change, Church, money, Offering
The Forgotten Change Chronicles

1. When you need to enter danfo but you only have 1k.

As per #RichGang.
2. How you hustle to enter the first bus that stops:

Will you now sleep there because of 1k?
3. You, when the conductor says “enter with your change”.

Selective deafness, abeg.
4. What you ask all the passengers immediately you sit down:

You’re sha making effort.
5. When you’re done asking and nobody in the bus has change.

You cannot come and go and die.
6. When you finally give the conductor the 1k and he starts making noise.

Why are you now shouting, biko?
7. How you balance when you know it’s too late for him to throw you out:

You’ll be fine bruh.
8. How everyone on the bus hustles to collect their change first:

You people should calm down na.
9. You, looking at the conductor because your own hasn’t reached you:

He thinks you will forget, abi?
10. When you want to vex then you remember you’re the one that entered with 1k.

Who sent you message sef?
11. When your energy finishes and you stop shouting for your change every 5 minutes.

Na where you mess up.
12. When you finally reach your bus stop and the conductor carries face like:

You forgot to ask him, and he ‘forgot’ to remind you.
13. When you walk small and suddenly remember your change.

Chineke!
14. You, painfully watching the danfo zoom off:

You’re there wondering if you can chase it.
15. You, calculating everything you could have done with that money:

You see your life.

Daniel Orubo

July 14, 2016

Oldies

bus, change, conductor, danfo