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cds | Zikoko!
  • If you are about to start NYSC or you’ve even started already we know you’ve probably heard a ton about how the whole program works. But there are some things nobody will tell you, and we are here to help you out.

    All the Uncles and Aunties that told you to wait for NYSC to finish before you bring your C.V. will suddenly disappear.

    It’s only God that can judge them.

    Don’t die on the line trying to get Lagos, have you seen Ibadan or Abeokuta?

    At least there is no traffic there.

    If they tell you to come at 8 a.m for anything that means you should come at 12 p.m

    Don’t waste your precious time.

    It’ll frustrate you like everything else in Nigeria is designed to do but it’s really not a bad experience.

    If you are lucky you’ll get retained at your PPA.

    If you get posted to an unfamiliar state just stay there and explore a different culture.

    Are you not tired of seeing yellow buses and Lekki-Ikoyi link bridge? You want to spend your whole life in Lagos that’s why you think there are only three tribes in Nigeria.

    Don’t let anyone you don’t know collect money from you to ‘work’ anything.

    All those ones that’ll tell you not to go for monthly clearance that they’ll help you work it, you’ll be there looking when your mates are passing out.

    Camp is a pretty great place for you to meet people that can epp your life.

    Better don’t dull it.

    The khaki they’ll give you is not loyal any small rough play and the thing will tear and disgrace you.

    So you better sew a backup at mammy market before you leave camp.

    And finally when it’s all done you’ll actually miss it a little bit.

    At least you were collecting 19,800 every month instead of sitting at home.
  • 13 Things About CDS People who Have Done NYSC Know To Be True

    1. So it’s another CDS day.

    Sigh.

    2. And that’s means only one thing, NO WORK!!!

    YASSS!

    3. But then you remember you have to attend CDS meeting by 8am.

    Why??

    4. And it also means you have to put on that wretched khaki and white tennis shoes.

    Wahala.

    5. How people shout ‘KOPA WEE’, when they see you on the way to CDS.

    “AJUWAYA”

    6. You, when they expect you to shout “WAA” back.

    Who is this one?

    7. How everyone looks at you when you get to the meeting late:

    SMH!

    8. You, when trying not to chop mouth when everyone else is reciting the NYSC anthem!

    Nobody gat time for that.

    9. When you have to recite the CDS anthem after the NYSC anthem.

    Stress.

    10. You, when they start asking for CDS dues.

    Bye!

    11. You, when the meeting commences and they start yarning opata.

    I’m sleep.

    12. You, when you hear, “Motion to adjourn the meeting”.

    Who wants to sleep here?

    13. When CDS closes early and you have the whole day to yourself.

    Lit!