Catholic | Zikoko!

QUIZ: If You Are Catholic, This Lent Quiz Will be a Breeze For You

How many of these Lent related questions can you get right?

Let’s see how you do:

Prisca

April 3, 2022

I Too Sabi, Quizzes

Catholic, Lent
14 Things That Are Too Real About Ushers In Nigerian Churches

1. When you come late and try to enter church while they are praying.

Better wait there.
2. When the usher tries to separate you from your squad.

Don’t biko.
3. When the usher tells you and your guys to “move forward”.

Why though?
4. When they make you sit behind the woman with the tallest gele.

Jisos!
5. When they tap you to stand up during prayers.

I’m ok like this.
6. When you’re using your bible app and they tell you to put your phone away.

What is it?
7. When you don’t have offering and the usher is still standing beside you.

Just go na!
8. How the ushers looks at you when you haven’t been to church all year then appear for Christmas Carol:

No vex.
9. When you start dozing off and the usher taps you.

Chai!
10. When you’re texting in church and an usher walks by.

Hay God!
11. When you save a seat for your friend and the usher asks “is anyone there?”

Uhm. Actually…
12. When you’re talking to your guy and the usher hears you.

Sorry sir.
13. You, when the usher still hasn’t given you offering envelope.

“HEYSSSS!!!”
14. The usher’s face, when you ask for N100 change for your offering.

Don’t judge me.

Daniel Orubo

May 15, 2016

Oldies

Catholic, Christian, Church, Ngeria, Pentecostal, RCCG, Relegion, Usher
15 Things That Are Too True For Nigerians That Grew Up In The Church

1. Your first official bible:

The best.
2. When your parents ask you if you’re going to church as if you have a choice.

Why are you even asking?
3. When service starts by 9, but you’re out of the house before 7.

Na wa. Are we the pastors?
4. When you always had to join children’s church choreography.

In your mind you could dance oh.
5. Every church party, childrens’ food vs adults’ food:

Is it fair?
6. You, waiting to be old enough to finally go to teens church.

Can I grow already?
7. When you’re not praying in church and your mum looks over at you.

Hay God!
8. When you couldn’t start your Christmas celebration without going to church in the morning.

I want to eat rice na.
9. Your friends on New Year’s Eve vs. You and your family on New Year’s Eve:

Watch Night Service was not optional.
10. You, waiting for your parents to finish greeting the same set of people after church every Sunday.

Can we go biko?
11. How your parents react when you tell them you want to change churches:

No vex.
12. When you always had to attend mid-week services and night vigils.

So tired.
13. When your parents see you walking out of church before they share the grace.

Wahala.
14. The solution to everything:

The greatest,
15. When you finally move out but they still call you every Sunday to know if you went to church.

“Yes ma.”

Daniel Orubo

April 27, 2016

Oldies

Africa, Catholic, Christian, Church, Nigeria, Pentecostal
16 Pictures Only People Who Attended Catholic Secondary Schools Will Relate To

1. When you have to attend mass 7 mornings a week without fail.

Because you have to begin the day with Jesus and Mary.
2. When they expect you to stay awake through morning mass and also stay awake in class for the entire day.

Who do you people want to kill?
3. And there are still evening prayers 7 days a week.

The school life…
4. When the priest is preaching and he mentions how other churches are doing something wrong.

Okay.
5. When your CRK class is basically Cathecism class.

Did I offend you?
6. When you misplace something and the Sisters tell you to pray to St. Anthony to help you find it.

What is this nonsense?
7. When you mistakenly wear your skirt above your knee or sag your trousers.

Is the devil using you?
8. When your sex education was basically “If you talk to boys, you’ll get pregnant”.

And premarital sex is your ticket to hell.
9. And once it’s 12 noon or 6pm, you have to stop everything you’re doing. Because Angelus.

This is a lot! A lot of prayers!
10. When you’re not even Catholic but you have to learn all the prayers and now there’s no space for anything else in your brain.

Too many!
11. When the altar boys and girls were one of the coolest people in school.

Enjoy your godly fame.
12. When they leave space for the Holy Spirit between you and the next person during an exam.

You and the Holy Trinity.
13. When you’re in an only girl’s school and your brother school comes round but you’re not allowed to speak to them.

Just be looking sadly out the window.
14. If you’re not Catholic, the 40 days of Lent were your own personal hell.

I’m not even part of you people!
15. When you commit an offence and they tell you that you just nailed Jesus to the cross.

Jesus! Me?!
16. And now, even if you’re not in a Catholic church, your knee automatically bends when you enter a row.

Put respect in the church!

Odunayo

April 27, 2016

Oldies

Catholic, Nigeria, School, Secondary
16 Things That Happen To Every Nigerian Catholic When Easter Weekend Is Near

1. When you realize it’s a 4 – day weekend.

This is the life.
2. When your boss gives you work today and says the deadline is Friday…

…but Friday is Good Friday and there’s no work.
3. When you keep hearing ‘Easter bunny’ and ‘Easter eggs’ on TV but you’re in Nigeria so you don’t even understand why they exist.

Rice and chicken. As usual.
4. When your friends start asking you why Catholics take Easter so seriously.

Is it ya concern?
5. When you realize that you will actually be in church from Thursday to Sunday.

And you have to follow Jesus to Galilee on Monday.
6. But all those non-Catholics are getting a holiday too, and they’re not spending all of it in church.

SMH!
7. And on Good Friday, you cannot eat meat, so it’s a fishy affair.

Which is probably not much fun, except it’s peppersoup.
8. When you do something bad on Easter Saturday but you cannot be sad, because Jesus already died for your sins on Good Friday.

Bless you, Lord.
9. “Bless me father for I have sinned. It’s been 8 years since my last confession…”

8 YEARS?!
10. When you’re at Peter’s fire and they get to the part where he betrayed Jesus and the guilt just washes over you.

And you start promising not to sin again.
11. When you sleep off during vigil so you’re not awake at midnight when Jesus rises.

No really, how do you feel?
12. When Easter Sunday service is so long, you’re sure it’s penance for all your sins.

I won’t sin again.
13. But you console yourslef with the fire jollof rice at home after church so you try to relax.

Take your time, Sir.
14. When your parents STILL waste time greeting their friends after church.

Even today? You saw them last week!!!!
15. When all your non-Catholic family friends come to your house for ‘Easter Party’ so you have to be a waiter on the day your Lord rose from the dead.

It’s not your fault.
16. But finally, you’re happy it’s Easter because it means lent is over, and so is the long fast.

*relief*

Odunayo

March 24, 2016

Oldies

Catholic, Easter, Nigerian
15 Things That Are Too Real For Nigerian Catholics During Lent

It’s never that serious…
1. When Ash Wednesday comes and you know the next 40 days are about to be full of temptations.

Okay…
2. When you get to church and the priest marks ash very deeply on your fresh make up.

But you can’t complain because you’re dust and unto dust you shall return.
3. When someone asks you if you know you have ash on your forehead.

Thank you, oh!
4. When you realize you have to give up something you love for 40 days.

It’s that time again.
5. When you finally decide what to give up for lent.

Fineee!
6. When you mistakenly do what you were supposed to give up.

OH MY GOD!
7. When you know you basically can’t eat anything every Friday during Lent.

It’s just 40 days sha.
8. And you remember the 14 Stations of the Cross and all that walking!

It’s so hot!
9. But you can’t complain because Jesus died for your sins.

Yes Jesus!
10. When you remember that there are no drums in church for the next 40 days.

Old rugged cross time…
11. When you say ‘Alleluia’ instead of ‘Amen’ during lent.

Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned!
12. When you tell your mother you’re not fasting during lent.

Is that a joke?
13. Your face when your non-catholic friends say they’re observing lent too – because Catholic school.

LMAO, willingly?!
14. When non-catholics start debating the merits and demerits of the Lenten season.

Yes. Please go on. Your opinion matters.
15. When someone misbehaves to you, but you’re a good person for the next 40 days.

It’s your time, enjoy.

Odunayo

February 11, 2016

Oldies

Catholic, Catholic Nigerians, Catholics, Lent, Lenten season, Nigerian
17 Pictures That Nigerians Who Grew Up Catholic Will Understand Immediately

Odunayo

October 9, 2015

Inside Life

Catholic, Catholic Nigerians, Nigerian

QUIZ: If You Are Catholic, This Lent Quiz Will be a Breeze For You

14 Things That Are Too Real About Ushers In Nigerian Churches

1. When you come late and try to enter church while they are praying.

2. When the usher tries to separate you from your squad.

3. When the usher tells you and your guys to “move forward”.

4. When they make you sit behind the woman with the tallest gele.

5. When they tap you to stand up during prayers.

6. When you’re using your bible app and they tell you to put your phone away.

7. When you don’t have offering and the usher is still standing beside you.

8. How the ushers looks at you when you haven’t been to church all year then appear for Christmas Carol:

9. When you start dozing off and the usher taps you.

10. When you’re texting in church and an usher walks by.

11. When you save a seat for your friend and the usher asks “is anyone there?”

12. When you’re talking to your guy and the usher hears you.

13. You, when the usher still hasn’t given you offering envelope.

14. The usher’s face, when you ask for N100 change for your offering.

15 Things That Are Too True For Nigerians That Grew Up In The Church

1. Your first official bible:

2. When your parents ask you if you’re going to church as if you have a choice.

3. When service starts by 9, but you’re out of the house before 7.

4. When you always had to join children’s church choreography.

5. Every church party, childrens’ food vs adults’ food:

6. You, waiting to be old enough to finally go to teens church.

7. When you’re not praying in church and your mum looks over at you.

8. When you couldn’t start your Christmas celebration without going to church in the morning.

9. Your friends on New Year’s Eve vs. You and your family on New Year’s Eve:

10. You, waiting for your parents to finish greeting the same set of people after church every Sunday.

11. How your parents react when you tell them you want to change churches:

12. When you always had to attend mid-week services and night vigils.

13. When your parents see you walking out of church before they share the grace.

14. The solution to everything:

15. When you finally move out but they still call you every Sunday to know if you went to church.

16 Pictures Only People Who Attended Catholic Secondary Schools Will Relate To

1. When you have to attend mass 7 mornings a week without fail.

2. When they expect you to stay awake through morning mass and also stay awake in class for the entire day.

3. And there are still evening prayers 7 days a week.

4. When the priest is preaching and he mentions how other churches are doing something wrong.

5. When your CRK class is basically Cathecism class.

6. When you misplace something and the Sisters tell you to pray to St. Anthony to help you find it.

7. When you mistakenly wear your skirt above your knee or sag your trousers.

8. When your sex education was basically “If you talk to boys, you’ll get pregnant”.

9. And once it’s 12 noon or 6pm, you have to stop everything you’re doing. Because Angelus.

10. When you’re not even Catholic but you have to learn all the prayers and now there’s no space for anything else in your brain.

11. When the altar boys and girls were one of the coolest people in school.

12. When they leave space for the Holy Spirit between you and the next person during an exam.

13. When you’re in an only girl’s school and your brother school comes round but you’re not allowed to speak to them.

14. If you’re not Catholic, the 40 days of Lent were your own personal hell.

15. When you commit an offence and they tell you that you just nailed Jesus to the cross.

16. And now, even if you’re not in a Catholic church, your knee automatically bends when you enter a row.

16 Things That Happen To Every Nigerian Catholic When Easter Weekend Is Near

1. When you realize it’s a 4 – day weekend.

2. When your boss gives you work today and says the deadline is Friday…

3. When you keep hearing ‘Easter bunny’ and ‘Easter eggs’ on TV but you’re in Nigeria so you don’t even understand why they exist.

4. When your friends start asking you why Catholics take Easter so seriously.

5. When you realize that you will actually be in church from Thursday to Sunday.

6. But all those non-Catholics are getting a holiday too, and they’re not spending all of it in church.

7. And on Good Friday, you cannot eat meat, so it’s a fishy affair.

8. When you do something bad on Easter Saturday but you cannot be sad, because Jesus already died for your sins on Good Friday.

9. “Bless me father for I have sinned. It’s been 8 years since my last confession…”

10. When you’re at Peter’s fire and they get to the part where he betrayed Jesus and the guilt just washes over you.

11. When you sleep off during vigil so you’re not awake at midnight when Jesus rises.

12. When Easter Sunday service is so long, you’re sure it’s penance for all your sins.

13. But you console yourslef with the fire jollof rice at home after church so you try to relax.

14. When your parents STILL waste time greeting their friends after church.

15. When all your non-Catholic family friends come to your house for ‘Easter Party’ so you have to be a waiter on the day your Lord rose from the dead.

16. But finally, you’re happy it’s Easter because it means lent is over, and so is the long fast.

15 Things That Are Too Real For Nigerian Catholics During Lent

1. When Ash Wednesday comes and you know the next 40 days are about to be full of temptations.

2. When you get to church and the priest marks ash very deeply on your fresh make up.

3. When someone asks you if you know you have ash on your forehead.

4. When you realize you have to give up something you love for 40 days.

5. When you finally decide what to give up for lent.

6. When you mistakenly do what you were supposed to give up.

7. When you know you basically can’t eat anything every Friday during Lent.

8. And you remember the 14 Stations of the Cross and all that walking!

9. But you can’t complain because Jesus died for your sins.

10. When you remember that there are no drums in church for the next 40 days.

11. When you say ‘Alleluia’ instead of ‘Amen’ during lent.

12. When you tell your mother you’re not fasting during lent.

13. Your face when your non-catholic friends say they’re observing lent too – because Catholic school.