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  • 20 of the Best, Mid and Worst Looks From the 2023 MET Gala 

    20 of the Best, Mid and Worst Looks From the 2023 MET Gala 

    Nothing screams high fashion on a global scale like the MET Gala. Hosted by Vogue Magazine editor-in-chief, Anna Wintour (AKA the real-life version of Miranda from The Devil Wears Prada), the MET Gala brings together the biggest stars on the planet for some music, finger food, and of course, fashion. 

    With this MET Gala 2023 honouring the late Chanel head designer, Karl Lagerfeld, stars like Rihanna, Tems, Doja Cat and Viola Davis all showed up in designed or inspired outfits by the late fashion icon. 

    These were some of the night’s most memorable looks, good and bad. 

    Rihanna 

    Source: Getty Images

    Let’s kick things off with the queen of the MET, Miss Robyn Rihanna Fenty. This woman made me stay up till 2 a.m. WAT, waiting for her to show up on that damn carpet. But was it worth it? Yes, it absolutely was. This Valentino look gave me life. Our makeup sis knows this fashion thing, and no one is seeing the hem of her dress. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed 

    Lil Nas X 

    Source: Getty Images

    Lil Nas X’s dependence on the shock factor was cute when it started, but now it’s plain tired, and we’re over it. Tell me this man doesn’t look like one of those Nollywood demons that haunt Tony Umez or Kanayo O. Kanayo after they use their wives and children for blood money. You see it, too, right? 

    Verdict: Worst Dressed

    Tems 

    Source: Getty Images

    Temilade Openiyi, the woman that you are. Thank you for not embarrassing us on a global platform like the MET Gala. The hat and gloves with the feather details, and the bottom half of the dress clearly reference vintage Chanel. Tems and her stylist, Dunsin Wright, are a match made in fashion heaven. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed

    Ice Spice 

    Source: Getty Images

    Like Tyra Banks once said: 

    Source: Giphy

    Ice Spice pulling up to the MET in a longer version of what the girlies wear to Quilox on a Friday night in Lagos is not the serve I expected from hood Princess Diana. If she thought people would feel this dress, then I’m sorry to say, she’s the munch here. 

    Verdict: Worst Dressed

    Michaela Coel 

    Source: Getty Images

    One word, “iconic”. You know what? One more word, “mother”. This dress is so stunning I had to clutch my imaginary Chanel pearls when Michaela showed up on the carpet. While I wouldn’t have immediately thought of cornrows (AKA “all back”, to all my Nigerian secondary school girlies) with this dress, Michaela slays this look so hard it’d be a crime to find any fault. By the way, can we get into that face? Sheesh. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed 

    Letitia Wright 

    Source: Getty Images

    The strength of this blek pentha has definitely been stripped away. I love me some Letitia Wright, but this Pentecostal youth pastor look is not for the MET Gala. It’s giving Covenant University graduation fashion, and like M’baku said in Black Panther

    Source: Giphy

    Verdict: Worst Dressed 

    Anok Yai 

    Source: Getty Images

    I don’t want to say much when it comes to Anok Yai’s consistent slayage of the MET Gala red carpet. Instead, I leave you with this message from philosopher and life coach, Tiffany Pollard: 

    Source: Giphy

    Verdict: Best Dressed

    Viola Davis 

    Source: Getty Images

    Viola Davis is a queen, and that’s on Annalise and her bottle of vodka. But you want to know what’s not queenly at all? This look. Viola’s love for bright colours has always been one of my favourite things about her red carpet style. And while this pink looks stunning on her, the feathers on this dress do nothing for her look. Maybe it would’ve been better if the feathers were smaller. Mrs V is an icon, but even Bobrisky pulled this look off better than she did. 

    Source: Instagram/Bobrisky22

    Doja Cat 

    Source: Getty Images

    Doja Cat showing up as Karl Lagerfeld’s cat and meowing her way through all her interviews is my definition of camp. You have to admire Doja for always committing to a look (her fingernails were designed to look like claws), no matter how unhinged it sounds on paper. Plus, this dress is a beauty, cat or no cat. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed 

    Lizzo 

    Source: Getty Images

    Lizzo is always a mood, but this black dress with pearl detailing is not a serve. It looks like something we’d see on the AMVCA red carpet, and that’s not a compliment if I’m keeping it one hundred. 

    Verdict: Worst Dressed

    RECOMMENDED: 9 Iconic Tiannah Styling Looks and Where You Can Wear Them To

    Halle Bailey 

    Source: Getty Images

    What we’d give to be part of Halle Bailey’s world. Our Ariel is a vision in this dress, giving old Hollywood glamour but in melanin and natural beauty. Major props to her hair stylist because I don’t know what jazz they use to transform her dreadlocks into something new every time she steps out. You can’t convince me that she and Chloe’s hair styling is done by a mere mortal. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed

    Asap Rocky 

    Source: Getty Images

    Maybe it’s beef that he’s with my wife. Or perhaps, it’s beef that he put her in the family way AGAIN, and now, we don’t know when R9 is dropping. Either way, Rakim Mayers, it’s on sight whenever we jam. On sight, bro. 

    Verdict: He shouldn’t be on the worst dressed list, but I have bad belle.

    Cardi B 

    Source: Getty Images

    None of the other rap girls are seeing Cardi B when it comes to fashion. None of them. Cardi served four looks last night, but this Thom Browne number is my favourite. She looks like a character out of a Tim Burton fantasy film, and I’m gagging. I love a woman who likes to have fun with her looks, and it’s clear Cardi is having the time of her life as a fashion “it” girl. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed 

    Yara Shahidi 

    Source: Getty Images

    For someone who has the potential to be a fashion baby girl, Yara Shahidi has refused to give us the serve we deserve. This look isn’t bad, but knowing the potential for greatness both Yara Shahidi and her stylist Jason Bolden have, it doesn’t work for me at all. 

    Verdict: Worst Dressed 

    Brian Tyree Henry 

    Source: Getty Images

    Finally, a man who didn’t show up to the red carpet in a boring suit. Brian Tyree Henry pulling up looking like a monarch who colonises continents over tea and crumpets is a serve I wasn’t expecting at the MET Gala. I’m always here for men playing with proportions and taking risks. This will probably go down as one of the most iconic looks from any man to ever walk the MET steps. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed

    Skepta 

    Source: Getty Images

    Skepta, what is this blanket you have on? This looks like something a Chelsea FC stan would wear for a match, and I won’t stand for it. The annoying part is the suit on its own might’ve been a hit. 

    Verdict: Confused

    Keke Palmer

    Source: Getty Images

    Baby, this is Keke Palmer, AKA True Jackson VP, one of Hollywood’s funniest women. Keke hasn’t taken her foot off our necks since she had her baby. We can all see how much she loves her post-baby body. Like the Gen Z babies would say, “She’s taking it”. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed 

    Idris and Sabrina Elba

    Source: Getty Images

    Sabrina’s decision to stick with her man through COVID and bad fashion choices should be applauded. This is a woman who takes the “In sickness and in health” part of her vows seriously. Their look wasn’t the worst on the red carpet; it was just boring. Give us something, guys. 

    Verdict: Mid

    Teyana Taylor 

    Source: Getty Images

    Is it a Teyana Taylor look if we’re not reminded that this woman’s six-pack can be used to grind pepper? This look is sickening, and now, I can’t help but wonder why I’m not in the gym. 

    Verdict: Best Dressed 

    Mary J Blige

    Source: Getty Images

    Mary J Blige’s dress would’ve worked better for the BET or MTV VMAs. But I have to give it to my fave for staying consistent with her thigh-high boots. The MET said, “Karl Lagerfeld”, but Mary heard, “Let’s take it to the dancery”.

    Verdict: Okay 

    ALSO READ: Ranking Nollywood Bridgerton Looks from “God, Abeg” to “I Burn For You”

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  • If “WAP” Was A Nigerian Song

    If “WAP” Was A Nigerian Song

    Ever since WAP was released, a lot of hot takes have happened. The song has also topped charts, despite the hot takes and everything accompanying its release.

    But can you imagine WAP as a Nigerian song? Well, we can. And here’s what would happen if it was one.

    1. For starters, it would be sung by Saint Janet, not Cardi B.

    The title would be something like “Ariya WAP“. Or “Obo Tutu.” If you don’t understand what that is, please ask a friend to tell you. I will not be the one to lead you into sin.

    2. There would be a remix, and it would feature Naira Marley, not Megan Thee Stallion.

    Naira Marley will now add lyrics like:

    To ba doko ma l’ole, WAP.
    Even me I get WAP, WAP.
    Omoge shey you go wap?
    Oya, wa ba mi n’ile, make I no go do soapy.
    WAP

    3. The lyrics will then annoy the morality police in Nigeria.

    I won’t mention names, but expect a LOT of tweets on how Nigerian youths have lost focus to concentrate on fruitless things like sex. (As if sex does not produce fruits when fertilization occurs).

    4. Sha, the song will not be played on radio.

    But Nigerians like bad-bad things, so the lyrics video will gather an insane number of views, and it will trend for days.

    5. Because they have coconut heads, Saint Janet and Naira Marley will shoot a video for the song.

    Ladies in bikini, a lot of soap water, synthetic eyelashes, Naira Marley with a beltless trouser, Saint Janet serving retired Sugar Mummy realness.

    Vision board for the WAP video

    6. The National Film and Video Censors Board will now vex and kuku ban the video.

    And for reasons beyond human explanation, Naira Marley will be declared wanted by law enforcement agencies. Yes, Naira Marley is almost always having an issue with them, but imagine being arrested on top of WAP. Ordinary WAP.

    7. By the way, the locals will jam the song until it becomes irritating.

    Fuji remix will be in excess. DJ 4kasibe, DJ Lamba, DJ JiMasun will produce mixtapes with it, and one of these DJs will play it at somebody’s wedding ceremony where the entire crowd will go wild and leave there wondering if the bride has a WAP and how did the DJ know this.

    It’s all going to be a mess, really. But in 10 years time, WAP will be resurrected on Twitter as a meme.


    Here’s something else you’ll like: If Nigerian Mothers Were In The BBNaija House

    And something from the Jada and Will Smith entanglement palaver: If Will Smith and Jada Smith Were A Nigerian Couple

  • This Picture Of Cardi B Is Breaking The Internet.

    If you happened to skip the topic, I’d fill you in. There is a picture currently disturbing the internet.

    It’s a picture of Cardi b when she was a little kid.

    “Okay, but why is this my business?” I’d tell you why.

    It’s simply because this picture takes you right back to when you were younger.

    It’s accurate in every sense you could possibly think of.

    For example.

    My mummy said I should tell you that..

    ..you must play with me.

    Aunty, I should write the names of noise makers?

    Abi?

    You were making noise.

    That’s why I wrote your name.

    Ahn ahn uncle but that’s not how they taught us in school.

    Mummy I think my lesson teacher is teaching me rubbish.

    My daddy said that when I enter secondary school.

    He will buy phone for me.

    Good afternoon ma,

    My mummy said I should tell you that she’s not around.

    Don’t tell mummy I brought a girl to the house o.

    Okay brother.

    Mummy welcome,

    Uncle Ayo said I should not tell you that he brought a girl to the house.

    Uncle Ayo, Mummy said you should change it to cartoon for me.

    You’ve been watching ball since morning.

    Aunty,

    Please I want to go and wee wee?

    They gave me injection in the hospital, I did not even cry.

    It was not even painful

    Ha! You’re telling lies.

    All liars shall go to hell and perish in the lake of fire.

    In Jesus’ Name, I pray my mummy will not die, I pray my daddy will not die, I pray my sister will not die, I pray my brother will not die, I pray my friends will not die, I pray my teacher will not die.

    In Jesus’ name I’ve prayed.

    Before we close, let’s say a prayer for Cardi as she has brought some joy to the internet with this picture.

    Also, because she’s going to deliver her baby girl veryyyy soon.