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Car | Zikoko!
  • QUIZ: Pick a Car and We’ll Tell You What Your Next Job Will Be

    Believe it or not, your car choice can determine if your next job will involve managing projects or snatching people’s partners.

    Starting next week (January 31st, 2023)
  • Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti Drove A Car, But She Did More Than That

    Nigeria has  been blessed with extraordinary women across different fields. Dora Akunyili, Chimamanda Adichie and Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala will be remembered for their vast achievements.  But one woman in our history books appears relegated to merely being the first Nigerian woman to drive a car. 

    Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti, once described as the “Lioness of Lisabi”, was an activist, a politician, a teacher and a women’s rights advocate. Let’s take a look at some of her exploits.

    The first female student at Abeokuta Grammar School

    It’s not weird in this age to have more girls than boys in a classroom, but this wasn’t always the case. Ransome-Kuti, born in 1900 as Frances Abigail Olufunmilayo Thomas, was the first female student to be admitted into Abeokuta Grammar School — the first grammar school in Nigeria. She enrolled as a student in 1914, the  same year five other female students joined the school. 

    She founded the Abeokuta Women’s Union (AWU)

    In 1932, after her education in London and her marriage to Reverend Israel Ransome-Kuti, she founded the Abeokuta Ladies Club (ALC) which was exclusive to only western-educated women. 

    However, the club gradually became more feminist and political. By 1944, it finally became open to market women who were illiterate and suffering under colonial rule. The club became open to all Abeokuta women in 1946 and changed its name to the Abeokuta Women’s Union (AWU).

    In 1918, colonial rule brought changes that made life particularly difficult for everyone, especially for women. One of these changes was a tax imposed on women considered to be of marriageable age and affected girls who were as young as 14 years old. They were required to pay a tax of three shillings yearly. 

    Another problematic policy was the food price control tax placed on market women. When they defaulted on these payments, the women were beaten, stripped or even arrested.

    By 1948, the women had finally had enough. Since protests were banned, they gathered at the palace of the then-traditional ruler of Abeokuta, Oba Ladapo Ademola II, for “picnics” and “festivals”. Ransome-Kuti taught the protesters how to deal with the tear gas thrown at them. 

    Day after day, the protesting women sang war chants calling for the abolition of taxes. They also demanded the removal of Oba Ladapo Ademola II for implementing the colonial policies. Eventually, the women won the drawn-out battle as the colonisers removed the taxes and the king abdicated his throne for two years. 

    She was the only woman in Nigeria’s 1947 delegation to London

    Nigerians often celebrate men like Obafemi Awolowo, Nnamdi Azikwe and others like them for their role in the country’s struggle for independence. But many people don’t know Ransome-Kuti was a member of the 1947 National Council of Nigeria and the Cameroons (NCNC) delegation to London to table demands before our colonisers. 

    While in the United Kingdom, she stirred things up with an article she used to blame colonial rule for the political and economical marginalisation of Nigerian women.

    She’s the only Nigerian woman to receive the Lenin Peace Prize

    Ransome-Kuti travelled far and wide, and gave lectures everywhere she went to highlight the struggles of Nigerian women and campaign for their rights. In recognition of her efforts, she won the Lenin Peace Prize in 1970.

    She’s a Member of the Order of the Niger (MON)

    After AWU’s win against tax impositionin 1948, Ransome-Kuti created the Nigerian Women’s Union (NWU) to support women’s rights across the country. She set up branches around Nigeria and ensured educational opportunities for girls and women. She also worked towards improving the participation of Nigerian women in politics.  And the government named her a Member of the Order of the Niger (MON) in 1965 to appreciate her hard work

    As we already know, Ransome-Kuti passed much of her activism onto her third child, the famous Fela Anikulapo-Kuti. Unfortunately, during a military raid of her son’s house in 1978, soldiers threw her out of the two-storey building, and the injuries she sustained claimed her life at 78. 

    Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti lived a full life and was passionate about Nigerian women and their representation in the country. With everything she achieved, it’s a great disservice if we remember her only for her motor skills or simply as “Fela’s mother”.  

  • 7 Signs That Show It’s Time To Let Go Of Your Car

    Yeah we know, the economy is bad. Things are rough. Buhari and Emefiele are tag-teaming to show us pepper. Liquid cash no too dey again and you’re just managing your ride. But it gets to a point where you just have to let go of your car. It has seen many seasons and been through thick and thin and it is time to retire it. At this point, it has just refused to continue life with you again. Here are 7 signs to let you know it’s time to say goodbye to your jalopy.

    1. The engine is louder than your radio

    At this point, you need to let go and let God.

    2. The AC is blowing hot summer vibes

    Man Endures Sweltering Heat in Viral 'Hot Car Challenge' Video - ABC News

    And there seems to be no way to repair

    3. It breaks down weekly

    You have to applaud the consistency.

    4. People hear gunshot when you drive by

    Crazy Turbo Cars Compilation Accelerations Backfire Rev Limiter Incredible  Sound !! - YouTube

    Your backfire can give heart attack

    5. Puffing out more smoke than a shisha lounge

    When you pass, people are not sure if its smoke or harmattan is back.

    car GIF

    6. You have to beg it to start

    “Please start I beg you in the name of God”

    7. Your muscles are growing from all the pushing

    At least you’re saving on gym subscription.

    Read: 4 Nigerians Talk About The Times They Regretted Helping Out


    One year ago, we left Nigeria for an 80-day adventure across West Africa. Something is coming. Unshared stories. New perspectives. Limited series. 10 episodes. Jollofroad.com

  • What Are The Hidden Costs Of Owning A Car In Nigeria?
    2005 corolla car for Zikoko post

    According to car salesmen, first-time buyers usually do not anticipate the hidden costs that come along with owning a car. They think it’s just enough to buy, not understanding that the journey is just starting.

    The general wisdom around for people seeking to buy a car is that the buying is not the issue and that maintenance is where the frustration resides.

    So, being curious about how much money it really does cost, I spoke to a relatively young car owner and here’s what he said:

    1) Insurance: N3000.

    Insurance is important especially in this country where people are moving anyhow. You can just be on your own and someone will hit you out of nowhere. There are two types of insurance – comprehensive and third party insurance so I am on the cheaper one. Which is a third party and that costs N3,000.

    2) Fuel: N5,000 per week.

    This is even because my car is fuel economic and I don’t go out too much. Some people that have to go long distances spend twice that amount every week. So, mine is like N20,000 on fuel a month.

    3) Servicing: N8,500 every other month.

    Well, my car is old, the roads are bad. That means I have to service my car regularly if I don’t want it to die on me. The mechanic changes the oil, checks the brakes and makes sure there are no weird sounds. If it’s just basic maintenance and no other fault, N8,500 does the job. But if there are other issues, stress begins.

    4) Papers: Not too sure. Around N10,000.

    If you have connect, you can do this for a year but I don’t know anyone so I do mine every 6 months. I think my road worthiness costs N4,500. The whole thing plus money for boys I think costs about N10,000.

    5) Miscellaneous: Any amount.

    See, I have had to change my horn twice and it cost me N9,500 on both occasions. I mean it was different issues but still the same horn. So, you can just wake up and the car is making a strange noise. I have also had to spend N27,000 remodeling the front part of the car.

    6) Sorting people because you have a car: Any amount.

    Someone tells you how to park, they want money. Someone opens the gate, they want money. All these things add up over time. There is the assumption that once you have a ride, you have arrived.

    Total:

    When you do the total, that’s like N360,000 at the end of the year and this is a conservative estimate with the hope that nothing dramatic happens.

  • 13 Things Every Nigerian Without A Car Will Immediately Get

    1. How people with cars look at you when you say you don’t have one:

    Please, save your pity.

    2. What your phone looks like:

    The unholy trinity.

    3. You, calculating how much you spend on ride-hailing apps:

    No wonder I’m broke.

    4. When the drivers start using you to do shakara.

    From “Cash or card?” to “I’m not going that way”.

    5. That one friend who unofficially becomes your personal driver:

    Everyone needs a side hustle after all.

    6. You, wondering how to leave your house when it rains:

    Hay God. What is this struggle?

    7. You, watching people react to news of fuel scarcity:

    Pele oh.

    8.When someone sends you their address without including the bus route.

    It’s like you’re not ready.

    9. You, watching people with cars fight road safety officials:

    Couldn’t be me.

    10. When your friends tell you how much they spend on mechanics.

    What. The. Fuck?

    11. When you go somewhere without having to worry about a parking spot.

    Yes to no stress.

    12. You, watching people with cars struggle to leave an event once it’s over:

    Peace out.

    13. You, when the okada you’re on starts manoeuvering traffic:

    I think I’m in love.

  • A Car Upgrade Is Possible…

    We are five months into 2019 already. 127 days raced by just like that.

    Wow!!!

    Come to think of it, only a short while back, we were basking in the euphoria of ushering in the New Year with our family and friends. Not forgetting the traditional listing of New Year resolutions and goals to help slay this year.

    Speaking of resolutions, a few friends shared theirs and we were struck at the range and diversity of the ambitions. Here are some you might find fascinating too:

    Resolutions are a great way to make positive changes in our lives. But really, how many people have been able to keep their resolutions? They can be hard to keep. The harsh reality is that approximately 80% of resolutions fail by the second week of February.

    The way to win is to start by doing something about just one goal at a time. Don’t waste your time thinking about why it may not work, or you won’t do it. Just pick one goal like selling your current car and buying a better one. That’s one resolution successfully achieved. Celebrate your win and move on to the next!

    Did you know that between January and April, over ten thousand people have upgraded – either by buying a pocket-friendly ride or swapping their “old” cars for a new golden one. There are various car options to fit “slim & fat” budgets alike. So, tick off that plan to get yourself a new ride now.

    You can visit www.cars45.com to sell or swap your current car for a much more durable option. Also, visit www.carsbazr.com to get verified cars at the best price now.

  • All The Things We Love About Long Road Trips

    1. When the car is nice and big and the road is smooth, you’re like:

    2. When you’re in charge of the aux cord so the jams are all the ones you like.

    3. When your friends are in the car with you and the bants are overflowing.

    4. When someone brings out correct snacks and drinks.

    5. When you don’t have to worry about doing any work or deadlines while on the ride.

    6. When you drive past beautiful scenery!

    7. When you stop to stretch your feet and end up doing a photo shoot for social media.

    8. When you’re not driving so you can sleep.

    9. When there are no traffic stops or police barricades.

  • 1. When you need to get somewhere by 8 am and the driver strolls in at 7:45.

    Welcome oh! Oga super!

    2. When you are running errands and he decides you are taking too long and goes off on his own.

    Na wa oh!

    3. When you try to change the radio station, he looks at you like:

    Try it first!

    4. When he decides he wants to go and eat but you need to get somewhere urgently, he’s like:

    Nothing for you oh!

    5. When the only person he listens to is your dad and you try to give him instructions.

    Can you imagine?

    6. When you see his facebook and he has used all the family cars to do photoshoot.

    Ahn ahn!

    7. When his girlfriends come looking for him and ask for “Oga Cletus”.

    Oga? From where to where?

    8. When you interrupt him while he’s toasting the maid.

    “What do you want now?”

    9. When he’s in a bad mood and you greet him.

    See me see trouble!

    10. When you finally learn to drive and no longer need him, you’re like!

    Everyday for the thief, one day for the owner!
  • 1. So one day I was on my way to work.

    2. Something I do without having to think too much on most days.

    3. But on this day, I suffered more than usual.

    4. First of all I was squashed in the bus between 2 arguing market women.

    5. By the time I came out I was smelling like stockfish and all my clothes were rumpled.

    6. I now had to dance atilogu on the road.

    7. Because it had rained heavily and that was the only way I could avoid the puddles everywhere.

    8. I succeeded.

    9. I was almost at the office, victory was in sight.

    10. All I had to do was cross the road.

    11. That’s how a danfo came out of nowhere and splashed water from one big puddle on me.

    12. That’s the day I knew by force by fire I needed a car.

    13. Because I could have avoided the shame and disgrace.

    14. Somebody, give me a car please!

  • 1. The ‘Beatle’

    This car was the bomb!

    2. Honda Prelude

    Only for the baby boys.

    3. This 1980’s Mercedes

    Everyone’s daddy had this!

    4. Peugeot 504

    The official car for political appointees.

    5. Honda ‘Alla’

    AKA Purewater!

    6. Mercedes ‘V boot’.

    Because the boot is a ‘v’, obviously.

    7. Mercedes Diesel wagon

    Basically V boot’s elder brother.

    8. Peugeot Pick-up

    This car takes everything you throw at it.

    9. Peugeot Station Wagon

    NTA still uses this car sha.
  • 1. When he finally scrapes enough money to buy the latest Mercedes.

    Because he has arrived!

    2. When he sees the keys to his old Peugeot, he’s like.

    Levels don change!

    3. How he ‘examines’ the car every 10 seconds.

    ‘I just want to check the engine’.

    4. You, when his friends come and he starts doing shakara with the car.

    We will not hear word again now!

    5. How he reacts when his friends want to help him test drive the car.

    ‘Impossicant!’

    6. How he starts shouting when you just touch the car small.

    See stress.

    7. When you think someone has kidnapped your dad, and you find him in the car doing nothing.

    ‘I just want to relax small’.

    8. All the different car alarms he parks to disturb the whole neighborhood.

    Too much stress.

    9. When your mum wants to use the car because her own car is faulty.

    ‘Please sir’.

    10. How he drives your mom’s car when the whole family is going to somewhere very rough and bumpy.

    ‘My own car is not kabu kabu!’
  • 12 Phrases You’ll Never Get Unless You Learnt How To Drive In Nigeria

    1. “Reverse back.”

    Nigerianism for ‘reverse’.

    2. “Dey come, dey come, just dey come.”

    Nigerianism for ‘keep reversing’.

    3. “Cut your hand small.”

    Nigerianism for ‘turn the steering wheel a little’.

    4. “Cut it full.”

    Nigerianism for ‘turn the steering wheel all the way’.

    5. “Oya match brake”

    Nigerianism for ‘hit the brakes’.

    6. “Oya straight your taya.”

    Nigerianism for ‘stop turning the steering wheel’.

    7. “Return your hand.”

    Nigerianism for ‘turn the steering wheel to its original position’.

    8. “Watch your side.”

    Nigerianism for ‘use your side mirrors’.

    9. “On your traffigator.”

    Nigerianism for ‘use your indicators’.

    10. “Oya go go, put your head”

    Nigerianism for ‘go in front of that car’.

    11. “Blow your horn.”

    Nigerianism for ‘use your car horn’.

    12. “Press your turtle.”

    Nigerianism for ‘press your throttle’.
  • 15 Pictures That Accurately Describe Having Your Car Bashed By A Nigerian

    1. When someone hits your car and you know your day is about to get bad.

    Not today, Satan!

    2. When you come down and the person first starts shouting at you.

    Is this one mad?

    3. When the person tries to lay the blame on you.

    Oga fix your life.

    4. When the person hits your car and starts begging.

    Dun cry, dun beg please.

    5. When the people around you start helping you blame the person.

    “It’s his fault.” YES!

    6. But there are others that are helping him to beg you.

    “Oga forgive him.”

    7. When you’re a woman and the man that bashes you says he wants to talk to your husband.

    On top my own car?!

    8. When the person bashes your car and tries to drive away.

    Where is this one going?

    9. When it’s only a scratch but you feel compelled to make trouble.

    You have to pay oh!

    10. When the person destroys all your tail-lights and is like “Oga it’s small now”.

    HAY GOD! Somebody hold me!

    11. When a policeman interferes and you know you have to give him money after.

    Who sent you now?

    12. When everyone tries to help you settle so you’ll stop causing traffic.

    This is where we will all sleep.

    13. When someone bashes your car and you come down and see it’s a military man.

    Ahan! This small scratch? Don’t worry, Sir.

    14. When the people in the traffic you caused start cursing you and the other person.

    Jesus! It’s not my fault now!

    15. When random people gather to watch the exchange.

    Is it Nollywood?
  • 13 Pictures You’ll Understand If You’ve Ever Been Stopped By Nigerian Police

    1. When you’re driving and you see a police checkpoint.

    Hay God!

    2. The Nigerian police starter pack:

    The truth.

    3. Nigerian police, when they see a car with tinted windows.

    God epp you if you don’t have your permit.

    4. When they stop you and ask “can we know you?”

    This is how it starts.

    5. When they see a young person driving a nice car.

    Stop there.

    6. When they just assume you’re either a yahoo boy or a runz girl.

    Na you sabi.

    7. When they ask to see your phone.

    Why the hell?

    8. When they start waving gun in your face on top checking license.

    Is it that deep?

    9. When they jump in your front seat and tell you to drive to their office.

    Oshey Fast and Furious.

    10. When they see that you have all your particulars complete.

    Jisos! Are you LASTMA?

    11. Nigerian police and “anything for boys?”

    Na wa! Is this your job?

    12. When you finally do ‘happy weekend’ for them.

    Can I go, biko?

    13. When someone says “the police is your friend”.

    Sharrap!